1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,599 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and eighteen. 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: Today we're going to be talking about dealing with stress, 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: coping with bad days or bad weeks, which we all 13 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: have from time to time. And just to introduce where 14 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: this idea came from. A couple months ago, I'm Sarah 15 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: elected to do a blogging streak where she was, you know, 16 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: writing every day for a certain amount of time. And 17 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: anyone who's blogged for a long period of time knows 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: that there are certain days you are more likely to 19 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: like censor yourself or not write because life has you know, 20 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: not been the sort of thing that you would necessarily 21 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: normally share with the world. But one of the reasons 22 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: we all love Sarah's blog The Shoebox is because she 23 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: is so wonderfully authentic and sharing her life and journey 24 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: on it. So she wrote on a day when she 25 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: would not have normally posted. So, Sarah, can you tell 26 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: us about that and the aftermath? Oh my gosh, it 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: sounds bigger than it was, but yes, I mean it 28 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: was a fun experience. I don't know. I impulsively was like, 29 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 1: I think, oh, blog every day in September, and then 30 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: I did so. And it's absolutely true. There are certain 31 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: days I am just much less likely to write. And 32 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I'm sure this applies to other people and other Instagrammers 33 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff, which means that most 34 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: of the time, when people are putting out content, they're 35 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: putting a smiley version of themselves out into the world 36 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: where things are going well and they're checking off boxes 37 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: and proud of their accomplishments. So, you know, I woke 38 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: up one morning and I was feeling very overwhelmed and 39 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: kind of like really touchy and math and I decided 40 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: to kind of write a post about how I was 41 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: feeling that day. I also kind of equated it to. 42 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 1: You know, I am female, and I looked at the 43 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: calendar and was like, ah, we are like exactly in 44 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: the beginning of my luteal phase when I tend to 45 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,239 Speaker 1: and as a review to everyone, get our end of 46 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: chronology lesson here. You know, your mental cycle starts on 47 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: what we call like cycle day one, and that's your 48 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: follicular phase, and then you have ovulation, which can vary 49 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: in length, but most people are about two weeks in, 50 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: some people a little longer, some people a little shorter. 51 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: And then after ovulation comes your luteal phase, where progesterone 52 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: is kind of the dominant hormone that your corpus ludium 53 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: is producing. I find that like my moodiest, most touchiest 54 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: moments correspond to when my progesterone will be on the 55 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: high side, which actually fits very well with the fact that, 56 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: like I find the first trimester of pregnancy very miserable, 57 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: and it's the same hormonal component, although with a lot 58 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 1: of other things going on as well, So I thought 59 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: that was kind of interesting. I'm not sure i'd go 60 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: so far. I can't decide if I really qualify for 61 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: you know, pre menstrual dysport disorder, which is PMDD, which 62 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,799 Speaker 1: is an actual diagnosis, but I certainly would check off 63 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: every box for PMS. So, I mean, there are just 64 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,119 Speaker 1: days when it feels like life sucks, and I don't 65 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: think it's really that my life sucks. I mean, I 66 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: know I have the perspective that it doesn't. But it's 67 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: like you view everything through this lens and nothing is. 68 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: It's hard to like soothe yourself. Yeah, ecause when the 69 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: phrase on the pod was I hate everyone and everything, 70 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: that phrase was like sadly echoing through my mind like 71 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: that whole day, which is horrible. I mean, I don't 72 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: really hate everyone and everything. I really don't, I promise, 73 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: and I mean I certainly don't as I'm recording this 74 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: right now, but that was that was kind of how 75 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: I felt. And as a job where all I'm doing 76 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: is like you know, working with everyone and everything. Yeah, 77 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: it being a chemical you know, or hormonal hormonal sort 78 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: of thing there. I mean, these have effects and it 79 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: puts it's like you're viewing life through a lens. Yeah, 80 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: but really that it's a darker lens than you would 81 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: have on other times, and so it doesn't really matter 82 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: that objectively, you know, everything is great, like it's there's 83 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: something different there. Yes, do you have this too? Or 84 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: is this just me? I don't know. I mean maybe 85 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: I'm just not as good at tracking it as you are, 86 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 1: you know, I not. I mean some people absolutely don't so, 87 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: And I mean I think I mentioned this on the blog, 88 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: like I really never had this as a younger adult, 89 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: but I was. I was on hormonal birth control. Yeah 90 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: that you know, you don't ovulate, so really it kind 91 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: of makes sense that that I wouldn't have been facing 92 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: this until my late thirties, which seems like a funny 93 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: time to like learn what your hormones are doing. But 94 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: that's actually kind of how it's panned out for me. 95 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: Although we would like to stress here that this doesn't 96 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: mean that, like, you know, with hormonal changes somehow, you know, 97 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: women should not be like, you know, trusted with things 98 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: like certain days of it like this is not And 99 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: I did not, because I still saw many patients those days, 100 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: and I think I still did a pretty good I 101 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 1: just didn't enjoy the experience of providing that care perhaps 102 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 1: the way I normally do. Yeah. I even wrote that 103 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: I tend to overcompensate, which I think is actually not 104 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: a terrible strategy like, you know what, if I'm just 105 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: not in the mood, put on the I think I 106 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: wore like a bright purple dress and I just like 107 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: put on like the biggest smile I could, and was like, 108 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: be extra polite because you know what, if someone makes 109 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: you mad, you might fly off the handle. So if 110 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: you like put on a little veil of like hi, 111 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: you know, just completely over the time, it can. Yeah, 112 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: which is I mean a great way to sort of 113 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 1: cope with it. Like once you're aware of these things, 114 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: you can compensate for them. But we certainly, I mean 115 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: we heard from a ton of people, not just people 116 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: would say me about it like this is you know 117 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: clearly everyone goes goes through this sort of thing, and 118 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: whether it's hormonal or not, Like we all have bad days, 119 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: we all have stressful days. So it's, you know, something 120 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: we have to deal with in order to maintain our full, 121 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: busy lives and cope with it. And so we thought 122 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: we'd do an episode on our strategies for coping with 123 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: days that are stressful or you know you hate everyone 124 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: and everything. Yes, because even I was able to get 125 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: through it, and I definitely know that some things work 126 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: better than others. Yeah, so I don't know, Laura, you 127 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: want to start with some strategy, sure, well, I mean 128 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: for me, running is seriously the best mood boosting strategy 129 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: I have, and this is one of the reasons for 130 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: my money running streak. Just running every single day may 131 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: sound a little weird, but if you were like taking 132 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: medication for boosting your mood, like you take it every day, 133 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: so it's not that far off. This is just a 134 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: way I've found to get the endorphins going. I inevitably 135 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: feel better after running than I did before, and by 136 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: doing it sort of proactively every day, I can keep 137 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: my mood elevated in a way that I think would 138 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: be difficult to do without that. Yeah. My counter, my 139 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: corollary to that is like, if you do run every day, 140 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: I don't know if it like, where's it like, Because 141 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm a very you know, I think I had run 142 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: that day, or at least I had worked out. I 143 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: think I actually had run. So sometimes maybe for bodies 144 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: used to that, or maybe maybe you're like your normal 145 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: is higher than the average normal, like who knows. But 146 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: and also I can't really run in the middle of 147 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: the day, so it's very difficult for me to do that. 148 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: So maybe if I gotten a nice sunshine run or something. 149 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: But I think I ran at like, you know, five 150 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: point fifty in the morning that morning, and it was 151 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: hot as it usually is, and I think I was 152 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: just as mad at the run and after the run 153 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: run everything else. So I guess your mileage maybury. And 154 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: sorry for that horrible pun because I think I mean 155 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: to make it. Yeah, yeah, but it is something worth trying. 156 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: I mean, so if you are in a position where 157 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: you can get some exercise, like go do it. And 158 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: if you're at work, if it's possible to say, take 159 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: a twenty minute break and go for a brisk walk outside, 160 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: if you have some comfortable shoes, you know, fresh air 161 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: as a known mood bister, physical activity as a known 162 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: mood bister. It may be also just getting you away 163 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: from somebody who, in your process of hating everybody and everything, 164 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: is really triggering you. That then that twenty minute break 165 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: could be a much better use of time than say 166 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:25,239 Speaker 1: cleaning out your inbox. So that definitely work worth taking. 167 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: A I call it a smoke break without the cigarette, 168 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: right that that's one reason people would go outside and 169 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: smoke a cigarette as a booster your mood as well, 170 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: but to do it without doing something that is long 171 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: term going to harm your health. So reading something non demanding. 172 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: I mean I always like kind of you know, humor, 173 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: or a book that's like nonfiction on a topic I 174 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: really enjoy reading about, but it's a bit more candy ish, 175 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: it's not difficult. Celebrities, yeah, you know, magazine articles like 176 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: if there's one I've saved, Like, there's certain magazines I 177 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: enjoy paging through. I'll try to read those on a 178 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: day when I'm not feeling so great. Making progress on 179 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: some small project. I mean some days it's like, well, 180 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: the world is actively throwing stuff against you. Other days 181 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: it just feels like you're being non productive, like you're 182 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: spinning your wheels, and that can be very challenging too. 183 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: But by making progress on some small project, whatever it is, 184 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: you can feel like, oh, yeah, I do have the 185 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: power to move things forward in my life. And I 186 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: mean you can kind of invent the project. I mean, 187 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: you could like go through your junk drawer. I actually 188 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: I think that decluttering is like a little mini high. 189 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,559 Speaker 1: So I feel like I'm going to try this. I'm like, oh, 190 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to go home and clean out my stationary 191 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: area or something like I don't know, I like that. Yeah, 192 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: if you have somebody you enjoy talking to that you 193 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: find energizing. Maybe if you hate everyone and everything, that's 194 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: not quite going to happen. But if you don't hate 195 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: absolutely everyone, there's like a small subset of people in 196 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: the universe that you would wish to speak to. Certainly 197 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,199 Speaker 1: calling one of them or arranging to get together with 198 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: one of them is smart. Yes, yeah, I wasn't necessarily 199 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 1: in the mood for that, but even a phone call 200 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: or something could be good too. Or but even like 201 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: a text, like a bunch of like I have some 202 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 1: friends that like I feel like they may hear my 203 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: cry and be like are you okay? And then initially 204 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: I might not want to engage, but then once you do, 205 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: you find that it actually has more benefits than you thought. 206 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: Another thing you can do, is, of course, ask for 207 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: help if there is you know, you're you're dealing with 208 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: screaming children on top of a stressful work situation, asking 209 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: somebody to come, you know, getting a babysitter, asking existing 210 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: childcare to stay later if that's an option, you know, 211 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: and then finally doing something to solve the problems. I mean, 212 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: sometimes when we have bad days, our irritants are totally inconsequential, 213 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: but not always, and sometimes the things that have kind 214 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: of long term been brewing will serve fists on these 215 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: days when we are upset. And so if there's something 216 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: you really don't want to do, figure out if there's 217 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: a way you don't have to do it. You know, 218 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: the standard levers of ignoring minimizing outsourcing. And one of 219 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: the reasons we wound up getting evening childcare a couple 220 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: of years ago for during the week is that I 221 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: was really really ticked off over and over again about 222 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: having to stop my work day, deal with everybody, deal 223 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 1: with all the driving, deal with the dinner, deal with 224 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: any of the emotional stuff on my own, and you know, 225 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: saying well, why isn't my husband here? And the thing 226 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: is sometimes he would be there, but I would completely 227 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: discount those days because I was like, because it was unreliable, 228 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: and it was reliable, and you were dreading the theory 229 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: of it as much as you were dreading. So I 230 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: was like, well, you know, let's just have this and 231 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: that way I don't have to make dinner when I 232 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: have a work project I would like to work on 233 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: this way, you know, I don't have to be the 234 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: only person driving if there's something I'm also focusing on finishing, 235 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: and just you know, having the extra set of hands 236 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,320 Speaker 1: has been very helpful. And so you know, again he 237 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: is here some of the time, but it's just it 238 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: wasn't as reliable as I would want. And so yeah, 239 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: that was definitely a major help in that regard. I 240 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: feel like it's funny our strategy to like do something 241 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 1: to fix it or just don't do it at all 242 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,959 Speaker 1: or don't know about doesn't even be doing two sides 243 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: of the same coin to figure out what's actually essential 244 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: to be done. Yeah, yeah, I mean, and one of 245 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: we've been talking about trying to figure out how to 246 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: reconfigure bedrooms and such in our house, and I was 247 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: thinking about how we would do this, and one option 248 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: had been finishing the attic because we actually have a 249 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: fairly large attic that has a legal staircase. So that 250 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: was certainly an option, but it's not an easy option. 251 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: There would have been more contractors around, and you know, 252 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: as our listeners that I've been recording from my Regius office, 253 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: like over and over again with this podcast because there'd 254 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: be some random person out banging on a door, banging 255 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: on a deck, or bang in the kitchen. I'm like, 256 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: I'm done with it. I'm done with it. I don't 257 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: want any more projects, So we will not be doing 258 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: the attic project. I'm pretty sure. So does this mean 259 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 1: you're going to move instead? No, because that doesn't I mean, 260 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: that doesn't solve the problem either. That's still work, that's 261 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: still logistically troubling as well. Yeah, no, there's it turns out. 262 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: I well, I walked around the house, and I realized 263 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: that the basement, the finished partionis of the basement, could 264 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: be converted to bedrooms far more easily than the attic, 265 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,680 Speaker 1: which would have to be finished. So really all we 266 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 1: have to do is put in another door possibly closet 267 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,720 Speaker 1: to update certain things like smoke alarms. But there's means 268 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: of egresses already in the basement where they would need 269 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: to be. So so that's actually like a little is 270 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: there like a little light that comes from like the 271 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: top part that's what I had in my childhood basement. 272 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 1: Is there like a little bit of light or no, well, 273 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: it's there's windows like a walk out basement. Oh yeah, 274 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: and in fact, yes, that's the obvious answer. That's the 275 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 1: obvious answer. To turn that into all we have to 276 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: do is put in a little bit more configuration. I mean, 277 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,680 Speaker 1: if they have that many bedrooms, they don't need dedicated 278 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: play s base because they can always play in different bedrooms. No, 279 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: that's totally the answer. Yeah, so easier, much easier. But 280 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: you know, partly because I was feeling so ticked off 281 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: about this idea of super We're like, wait another to 282 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: do that, I have to do this. That's also I 283 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: think this will wind up working out all right, Sarah, 284 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: So what do you do well? I mean, along the 285 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 1: do something lines, I think one of the things that 286 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: was also bothering me is I, you know, I have 287 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: a very detailed system for sort of keeping all of 288 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: my to do items in line and not getting behind 289 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: on any of them, and I had sort of just 290 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: let it all pile up, and I know that the 291 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 1: idea of what might have been in that pile was 292 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: really like nagging on me. So my get it done 293 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: was like one morning. I think it was like the 294 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: Monday morning. I was like, I'm just going to get 295 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: up at four, not run and organize this crap for 296 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: two and a half hours, and it actually was like 297 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: incredibly cleansing, even though that's boring. So we're going to 298 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: take a quick break in a moment. I'm going to 299 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: share more of my strategies in just a couple of minutes. Listeners, 300 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: are you struggling to sleep these days? 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It actually 357 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: did make me feel a lot better, but maybe on 358 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,199 Speaker 1: kind of the more I don't know, more superficial or 359 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:13,960 Speaker 1: enjoyable side. You know, sometimes superficial things are helpful. So 360 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 1: I put a lot of Sephora items into my shopping 361 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: cart this morning. I wasn't actually in a terrible mood 362 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 1: this morning, but you know, knowing that you have like 363 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:26,880 Speaker 1: a little slush fund for purely indulgent things as long 364 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: as you're doing so responsibly, because overspending probably would have 365 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: added to my mood and a lot of you know, 366 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: self loathing that's attached to that, which actually is not 367 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: something I have an issue with because I love having 368 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: an allowance and I stick to my allowance. But I 369 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 1: guess what I'm saying is, if you do have an allowance, 370 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: then maybe it is a nice time to treat yourself 371 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: and maybe treat yourself to things that superficially make you 372 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: feel better, like a sheet mask. A sheet mask, I 373 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: don't think I've ever used a sheet mask. Maybe I 374 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: should get into it. They're kind of nice. You will 375 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: have to warn your husband and or children because if 376 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: you have one on and then they walk into the room, 377 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 1: it was like, yeah, like a horror from the horm. 378 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 1: So so you have to be careful with how you 379 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 1: use your sheet mask. But actually, to me, the nice 380 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: thing about a sheet mask is you're like, no one's 381 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: gonna really bother you. When you're wearing it. You can 382 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: just read like it's like your own time, and then 383 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,360 Speaker 1: you somehow feel like you're doing some sort of like cheesy, 384 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: stereotypical self care, but it actually just feels kind of nice. 385 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: So sheet mask, chat mask. Yeah. I like to journal, 386 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,880 Speaker 1: so I do that. That definitely helps me, whether it's 387 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 1: in public on the blog. I mean I don't normally 388 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: do that when I'm in a mood, but just even 389 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:34,959 Speaker 1: just to write out a list of things that are 390 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: bugging me or you know, that kind of a thing, 391 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: and then I think there's something to be said sometimes 392 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: to just like put on your amy man, get a 393 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: glass of wine and just like enjoy the pain. Wallow 394 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:50,719 Speaker 1: in it. Wallow, just wallow in it and sing and 395 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,239 Speaker 1: like it's okay, and then maybe tell yourself that like 396 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: this is the night we're doing that, and then we're 397 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: going to move on, because our life objectively is quite 398 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,639 Speaker 1: lovely and there's really not that much that we need 399 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: to be wallowing about, but just allowing yourself that space 400 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 1: to do it if it feels right. And then you 401 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: actually like to plan some for a future future sometimes 402 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: so I think, and I think this can be a 403 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 1: dangerous one, like like the spending, Like you can go 404 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: overboard with any of these, and I think some people 405 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: tend to overproject into the future, you know, when things 406 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: aren't going wonderfully to like I think someone said recently 407 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: they spent like hours planning like the next summer like 408 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 1: a year from them, Like what were they doing? Right? 409 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 1: But I was just feeling like, you know what, as 410 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: we talked about the summer vacation wasn't quite as rejuvenating 411 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: as we thought. And then Josh and I never got 412 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 1: that couple's weekend. I was like, you know what, I 413 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 1: have PTO time. Why am I not using this PTO time? 414 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: Like I'm not saving it for something? So I just 415 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: looked and I was like, I can take these three 416 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,439 Speaker 1: days off in October and have like you know, you know, 417 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,479 Speaker 1: I'd still get to see the kids, they'll go to school, 418 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 1: I'll have the nanny I'll have some time to myself 419 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: and just knowing that that like space is then set 420 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: up for me. Uh, It's definitely is a nice feeling, yeah, 421 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: trying to arrange a little bit of a break. And 422 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: sometimes when I'm feeling kind of crummy, I'll specifically be like, well, 423 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 1: you know, by the way you work for yourself, Laura, 424 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: like you can leave, you don't have to chain yourself 425 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,679 Speaker 1: to your desk, and if an afternoon is open, you know, 426 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 1: go for a bike ride, go for a walk, go 427 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,159 Speaker 1: to a museum, go to a coffee shop, you know, 428 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: the library, but something just to change locations, have a 429 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,639 Speaker 1: little adventure in the middle of the day. It's my 430 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: equivalent of PTO. I mean, I'm not getting paid for it. 431 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything. But maybe there's there's passing income 432 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: that you still one hundred percent need that and that's 433 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: so interesting that. Yeah, I mean I think that people 434 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,719 Speaker 1: forget they can take PTO too, and that not all 435 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: PTO necessarily has to be scheduled a million weeks in advance. Either, 436 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: you could you could just be on Thursday be like, 437 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 1: you know what, I don't want to go to work tomorrow. 438 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: And if you don't have any terrible pressing meetings then 439 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: you know, like hockey a lot, what is with with 440 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 1: with medicine is very If you have patient scheduled, you 441 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: can't do that. So it really does have to be 442 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 1: something where you're not letting other people down. And that 443 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: is one of the reasons I love having a partially 444 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: more flexible part of my schedule. But yeah, that the 445 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: days you would be doing more of the management stuff 446 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,239 Speaker 1: are the days that are correct jammy time. Although it 447 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: is it is amazing how quickly meetings can fill things up. 448 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: But meetings I don't feel as bad about moving compared 449 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,920 Speaker 1: to patient appointment. Yeah, yeah, you don't like to move 450 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: those of course I do not touch. Yeah, so yeah, No, 451 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: figuring out a way to take a little bit of 452 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: a break can definitely go a long way. Well, I 453 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,159 Speaker 1: think we should do our our Q and A is 454 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: very related, and we do that Q and A we 455 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: go back to our love of the week. Should we 456 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: should we go out of order today? I mean, I 457 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: think when it's just us, don't we often do the 458 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: Q and A before the love of the week? Good point? Okay, 459 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: ore Q and A? All right? Do you yeah? You 460 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 1: so go ahead? Yeah, So like I said, I, I 461 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: mean I was getting emails About's post, which is always 462 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:06,400 Speaker 1: just funny. But this listener wrote in that she read 463 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: Sarah's post about her bad day and says, I personally 464 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: go through this phase and life is very hard for 465 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: that week. So then again, this is somebody who's also 466 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 1: tracked her cycles and realized that she has a very 467 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: strong hormonal component to it. She says, I feel like 468 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: I can't compete at the same level as my male 469 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 1: colleagues at work. Ooh interesting. She says, you always seem 470 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: very positive and on top of things. I would like 471 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: to understand if only very few women face this issue, 472 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: and do they get treatment to manage their work. If 473 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,919 Speaker 1: you are not taking treatment, how do they manage this 474 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: at work and get ahead with their careers once once 475 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: once a month, I think she means they are not 476 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 1: performing as well. It would be great if you could 477 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 1: do a podcast on this topic. Well, first, I mean, 478 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: I want to say I don't think I c seed 479 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: Sarah on my response, I say, I would not view this. 480 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: It's like I'm not as productive as my male colleagues 481 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 1: that week. I think you're probably, you know, way more 482 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: productive than them. Three out of four weeks and maybe 483 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: one week, you're sort of similar to them. Right, Let's 484 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 1: view it as that because again, this whole topic is 485 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: we really have to strike a balance here because well, 486 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,680 Speaker 1: and the problem and the reason you say that and 487 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 1: I agree, is that women tend to men on average. Again, 488 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 1: of course there's outletters. Men tend to overestimate their confidence 489 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: and contributions and women tend to underestimate. So we have 490 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 1: to be very careful when a woman is saying, oh, 491 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,879 Speaker 1: I just you know, well, and I hate for someone 492 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: listening to this to be like, yo, yeah, that's why 493 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,479 Speaker 1: you can't like trust women with the nuclear codes or something, 494 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: because like once a month they'll fly off the handle. 495 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,880 Speaker 1: It's like, well, okay, but men could do it any day, right, 496 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 1: Like that's it's even probably yes, people who are over 497 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,959 Speaker 1: confident and less competent, whereas having some actual sense of 498 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 1: when there is changes there. And Sarah could that men 499 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: aren't the exact same all the time either. I mean, 500 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: there are different moods. It's not like men have the 501 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: same but I don't think there's a monthly not a 502 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: monthly to it. But but it could totally be that 503 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: somebody is you know, different a mascinating hormonal changes that 504 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: men have after their their wives give birth. Actually, yeah, 505 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,640 Speaker 1: so like if it's not like men are the default 506 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 1: where it's all normal and even keeled and everything, that 507 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: is not the case at all, and men are men 508 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: are very prone to well, androgen is a is a rather. 509 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 1: I mean, well, when I treat patients with systosterone, I 510 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: warned them about possible increased irritability. So we'll just believe 511 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 1: it at that. So, yes, let's let's put that out there. 512 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,880 Speaker 1: We are not saying it anyway, And I think this 513 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: this listener can hopefully keep that in mind that yeah, 514 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: she's she's probably you know, one hundred percent competent and 515 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 1: maybe like ninety nine point nine, and she may notice 516 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: the difference from week to week and that's okay, but 517 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 1: but it's probably nobody else is, right, right, Yeah, correct? 518 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: So that that was my first answer. Now, Sarah, you 519 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: can answer yours. Yeah. I mean, well, that's I think 520 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 1: a big part of it is also recognizing like who 521 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: cares in a way, right, I mean, it matters what 522 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,719 Speaker 1: we do overall. It doesn't matter if one week our 523 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: performance relative to ourselves isn't as good. It matters what 524 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,239 Speaker 1: you're accomplishing long term, are you moving forward on your 525 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 1: goals orre you getting projects done? So I think, like, 526 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,880 Speaker 1: you know, really thinking that incrementally, that's going to affect you. 527 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: You've got to try to move past that cause it's 528 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: really unlike unrealistic. I think that if it does make 529 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: you feel better to do a little bit more self 530 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 1: care that week, then great. Make that your week of 531 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: kind of replenishment. Pare down to the essential, like don't 532 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: start extra projects if you don't have to, maybe pay 533 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 1: extra attention to your sleep, to your diet, to your workouts, 534 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: make sure you're doing you know, for me, those sort 535 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,160 Speaker 1: of other things impact my performance at work. Every bit 536 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,680 Speaker 1: is much or more than you know, what my hormones 537 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: are doing in any given day. It's like did I 538 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: sleep well the night before, did I have a healthy 539 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 1: lunch versus some like carb explosion that made me want 540 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 1: to take a nap at my desk. You know, these 541 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: things definitely matter, so try to optimize those. And you know, 542 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 1: remind yourself that everybody, male or female has more and 543 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 1: less productive weeks. And again, your your accomplishments as a 544 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: whole are what matter. And if there are things that 545 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,160 Speaker 1: just you're not in the mood and are incredibly distasteful 546 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 1: that can be moved in the next week, do it. 547 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,440 Speaker 1: Maybe focus on some of the softer aspects of your job, 548 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: like you know, watching that required webinar, catching up on 549 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: some literature in your field during the week that you're 550 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 1: not feeling maybe as to be as aggressive in the 551 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 1: board room or to move forward on a project. That's 552 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: my thought. Yeah, And obviously if somebody is really finding 553 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:32,120 Speaker 1: themselves having trouble functioning, there is medical help that can 554 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: be sought, oh one hundred percent. And many people wrote 555 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: in on my blog about you know, benefit and I 556 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 1: got emails and stuff about benefits of people have found 557 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 1: with different types of therapy for different types of medicines 558 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: and both Some obeds can treat this, and some psychiatrists 559 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 1: can treat this, and you can also do like non 560 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 1: medicinal therapy. So there are you know, many avenues you 561 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: can go for help with this. In fact, even maybe 562 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 1: one of our sponsors, yes, exactly, So, yeah, there are 563 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: lots of levers you can push. You know, a lot 564 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 1: of people either decide that Okay, I know this and 565 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: therefore I'm going to be extra indulgent on the self 566 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,159 Speaker 1: care during certain times when it's more important for me 567 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 1: to be doing so and be gentle with myself during 568 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: this time. If it's something that's really bothering you, then 569 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: it's obviously worth seeking out other solutions that might help 570 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: in the long term. So all right, our love of 571 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: the week, Well, mine is I've been sort of splitting 572 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 1: my reading and I just like my ritual of morning 573 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: reading of sort of non fiction personal developmental stuff, and 574 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: I just really I think I've found my answer to 575 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 1: other people that read scriptures or do meditation, Like I think, 576 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: I really just like a nice nonfiction soothing voice in 577 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: my in my I don't know, inner ear in the morning. Yeah, well, 578 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: this is great. I love that people have you have 579 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: this built in you know, personal development help selve self 580 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: help books. That's great exactly. So everyone should do what 581 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: I say and start with all of Laura Vandercamp's Kennill 582 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: Ass you'll read that for ten to fifteen minutes every morning. 583 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: That'd be great, I think, I know, actually, don't joke, 584 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: that would be I think reading like I know how 585 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 1: she does it for fifteen minutes in the morning. Oh 586 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: my gosh, especially when you're like coming back to work 587 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: after maternity leave, or something that would be kind of like, yeah, 588 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: pump you up, fire you up for the day, or 589 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 1: listen to Before Breakfast with my other podcast, that'll fire 590 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 1: you up for the morning. So my love of the 591 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 1: week is learning to be okay with reading in spurts 592 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 1: between kid bedtimes at night. We had other episodes on 593 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 1: evening routines with little kids and with bigger kids as well. 594 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 1: You know, I like to read at night. The problem 595 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: is it's chopped up. And because of this, I have 596 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: a tendency to tell myself the story of like, well, 597 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: I've only got you know, fifteen minutes till the next 598 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: child needs to go down, or twenty minutes until the 599 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: next kid needs lights off, And so I shouldn't be 600 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 1: reading a book. I'll just you know, scroll around on 601 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: my phone. But that's really wasting time, whereas you can 602 00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: read a reasonable amount fifteen to twenty minutes. And yeah, 603 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: maybe I would love to have three uninterrupted hours, but 604 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: that's probably unrealistic. So let me do fifteen minutes, go 605 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 1: turn somebody's light off. Do another twenty minutes, go turn 606 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: somebody else's light off. Do another fifteen minutes, go turn 607 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,080 Speaker 1: somebody else's light off, and so on it goes, and 608 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,239 Speaker 1: turn my own light off. And then before you've got 609 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 1: you've read one hundred pages, right, one hundred pagels, right, 610 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: you know, and you make a lot of progress that way. 611 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 1: Well this is Yeah, this has been best of both worlds. 612 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 1: I hope we've given you some ideas on how to 613 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: cope with stress and negative thoughts and bad days in general. 614 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: We allways would love to hear from you about how 615 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,120 Speaker 1: you cope. You can, of course write us, You can 616 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,040 Speaker 1: email me. I have a couple addresses, probably the easiest 617 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 1: one to remember is Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 618 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,479 Speaker 1: Of course you can post on our blogs Laura vandercam 619 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: dot com or the shoe Box the s h u 620 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: box dot com, our Instagram Best of both worlds podcasts, right, yeah, 621 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 1: well we are both active on there and we can 622 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: always submit questions that way too. By the way, you 623 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 1: can send them via direct message. I've gotten a lot 624 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 1: of that. I will respond and usually I keep the 625 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: screenshot to save so I can don't lose them for 626 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: a future episode. Yeah, awesome, All right, Well this has 627 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: been best in both worlds and We'll be back next 628 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 1: week with more on making work in life fit together. 629 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 630 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 631 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 632 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 633 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 634 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: life work together.