WEBVTT - Challenges in the Modern Workplace 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:02.800 Welcome. 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:05.080 Guys. You already know what it is. You already know 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:05.640 what's popping. 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:09.520 It's your Girlma, and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:10.799 production of iHeart. 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:18.160 Thank you so much for tuning in Keta forgive my voice. 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.560 I haven't had no chance to rest, so i'd be 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:24.200 signing a little crazy. Don't forget to subscribe to the 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:27.600 podcast on your favorite podcast platform, Rate us those five 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.320 stars and leave us a review, because I love to 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:32.400 know what you guys think about the show, so. 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:33.600 Please leave me a good review. 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:35.839 Okay, head over to the YouTube channel where you can 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:39.080 watch or listen to the podcast. Okay, you can watch 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:40.680 or listen to old episodes. All you have to do 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:42.880 is go to the search bar, write micro through that 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:46.199 podcast and click on Exactly Amada as soon as it 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:52.160 shows up. Yai Wendy Fuda de doo heppisodios basalos xcit 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:54.680 that I'm today. I want to talk about something that's 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.480 been touching my heart, my soul, and I'm feeling some 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:01.480 type of way about it. Talking about how the world sees, 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:05.120 you know, women in comparison to how the world sees 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.520 men when it comes to the workplace. Now that I 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.199 am a mother of two, I am a single mom, means, 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.280 like you know, I obviously don't have anybody else to 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:17.080 help me in the process of this. There's so many 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:21.920 challenges that come with making time, finding balance with your body, 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.720 with yourself, with your health, with your fitness, with your 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:28.720 mental with your dating life, with your friends, with your family. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.959 It is so much to balance and just take care 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:35.399 of that. I'm just like, how are you supposed to 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:35.680 do it? 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:39.399 Because I feel like society can be so judgmental to women. 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.080 People are judgmental when it comes to being a single mom. 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:45.000 Oh you know, why couldn't you keep a man? Why 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:47.480 didn't you get married first? Why didn't you da da 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:49.560 da da. First of all, I want to clarify that 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:51.640 because I've heard a lot of that before. Just because 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:54.520 you're married doesn't mean that you're in a happy relationship. 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:54.920 Okay. 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.760 In many occasions, there's a lot of married women and 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:01.040 men that are just there for society to look good 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:05.200 for society, for their family standards, or for whatever extra 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.720 word reason. For lac costumbre, I'm accustomed to this person. 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:10.600 I might as well stay here because I don't want 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.359 to start all over again. I've already invested too many years. 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:15.200 I don't want to go back into the dating scenes. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.400 In many occasions, there's a lot of insecurities. But just 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.720 because you're married, it doesn't mean that it's a happy household. 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:24.520 I know a lot of married women that are still 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:25.639 single parents. 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.040 Take that back, I know a lot of married women 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.000 who are still single parents. So don't let the whole 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:36.200 marriage thing confuse you. In many occasions, Oh why couldn't 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:38.280 you keep it together? Why don't you make it work? 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.480 You know what, sometimes things just don't work out. There's 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.240 no guidebook like I always say, on how to live 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:45.640 your life. And just because you know someone now doesn't 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.160 mean that you know this person ten years from now, 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.639 even if you're living together, because people change. 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:51.880 They evolve, they grow. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.680 You know. Today we're diving into the topic that affects 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:57.840 calenless women across the world, the challenges phased by single 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.680 women in the workforce, while also explore oring the double 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.560 standards that exist when it comes to working parents, specifically 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:08.680 focusing on why working moms often faced backlash compared to 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:11.680 those that are you know, males. I know there's a 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.400 lot of single fathers out there that work really hard. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:16.519 To shout out to all of you men out there, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.120 you know, putting in the work, doing what you got 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.200 to do, taking care of your family, taking care of 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:24.760 your kids, memos highert respect to you. Unfortunately or fortunately, 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:27.320 I'm not sure how to put it, but there's less 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:29.400 of y'all than there is of us, because you've got 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:31.480 to give credit when credit is due. There's a lot 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.920 of amazing fathers, men out there that have taken the 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.800 responsibility of protecting and taking care of their children and 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.280 their households while the mothers are out and about living 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:47.040 their best lives or maybe for whatever other situations. Beto, Unfortunately, 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.360 there's more single mothers in this world than there is men. 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:51.960 And I think it's very unfair that men just get 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:54.920 to pick up, you know, their luggages or things walk away, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:59.160 while the mother has all the responsibility of keeping these 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.680 children alive. I've given them well education, making sure that 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.880 they're well protected, and taking care of while still working, 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:09.080 while still not losing their feminine side, you know, taking 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.880 care of them as women. There's a lot to it, 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.080 you know, So let's dive into the life of a 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:18.120 single woman navigating it, you know, into her career. Now, 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:22.960 I see myself having to think about where are my 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:24.520 kids gonna be while I'm working? 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.640 Is my mom okay? Because my mom has a lot 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:27.159 of health. 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.279 Issues, and I'd be worried about leaving them with my 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.400 mom all the time because I've had to call nine 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.360 one one in like six occasions in one week at 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:37.960 one point because of her health. 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:40.440 You know, she hasn't been doing good just handling of 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:41.520 like who's going to take care of them? 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.839 Even having to take care of paying a babysitter before 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:46.960 you go out to work, not even to party, but 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:52.679 to work. The responsibility, the extra financial responsibility, it's a lot. 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.760 I recently went to pre school. It's like a not 0:04:56.839 --> 0:05:00.400 a daycare center, but an academy rather better starts to 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:03.960 educate the babies before they actually get into preschool and 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.480 all those things, because there's a lot of children that 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:06.480 are super advanced. 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:08.279 So I was like, all right, cool boom, let me 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:09.719 try to get my girls into one of these. 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.039 That's an extra twenty five hundred dollars I have to 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.800 pay a month, and financially, thank god, I can afford it. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:17.920 It just you know, puts my mind in the perspective. 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.000 But what about those parents that financially can't, you know, 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.560 And that's that much because it's two of them, so 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.479 it's double you know, diapers and food and this and 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:29.320 the attention and the school supplies and everything else. But 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.640 I'm like, for those parents that realistically can barely they're 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.000 afore their ends meet, how do they do it? You know, 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.120 it's a lot. I don't know how they put it 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.880 together in many occasions. You know, I take my babies 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:44.120 with me wherever I go. I have an interview, I 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:46.120 take them with me, I have this. I take them 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.200 with me. Now that I'm doing the Dancing with the 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:52.320 Stars competition, I have hours of rehearsals from like seven forty. 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:54.240 Five till like six thirty. 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.360 And by the time I come home, I'm super exhausted, 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.320 And unlike everybody else that they get to go home 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:00.680 and just. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.320 Rest, I am in mommy duties. 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:07.240 I am changing diapers, you know, burping, giving milk this, 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.359 that still being an active parent in my kids life. 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.240 Because it's like, yeah, you're working so hard to make 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.520 sure that your kids are good, but are you dedicating 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.160 them the time that they need? Because kids don't know 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:21.640 the difference, Like they don't really necessarily care about all 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.080 the crap that you give them. They're more concerned about 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.279 the time that you spend with them, you know, paying 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:29.200 with them, bonding with them, creating that that bond as 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.719 a parent, all that other stuff. So as women, after 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.000 you're working and you're doing all those things, you still 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:37.480 have to go be a mother. I still have to 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.040 wake up at night when they're crying and do all 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.520 those things because you know they're teething, and it's it's 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:46.000 all these things that I feel that society overall puts 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:50.880 so much pressure onto women, onto single women, single mothers, 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:52.520 that I don't feel that men do. 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:54.360 Why are men not getting. 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:58.520 All this extra backlash for being absent fathers? Right? 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.440 We used to say men occasions back in the days 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:02.360 and still to this day. 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:05.479 And I understand for the African American community for the 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:08.240 most part, it was, you know, it was set up 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:11.720 like this by the government, by society, you know, to 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:14.600 take the black men out of the household so that 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.560 in this in this way women would you know, request 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:21.000 government assistance. And I've heard it all, I kind of 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:23.080 have some background information on it. 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:23.920 I get it. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:28.120 But what is the excuse today because today now we 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:31.400 know what happened we know what the issue was, we 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:34.280 know what can be done, we know how to fix it. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.600 So what really is the problem. Why are there so 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:41.000 many men leaving women alone to take care of all 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:45.320 the responsibility of taking care of a child while they 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.120 decide to go, you know, live their life and date. 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:52.160 Other people have more children with more women probably you know, 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.560 repeat the copy paste. I know that in many occasions, 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.480 the lack of having a father figure in the household 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:02.920 for men does affect the way that they treat their children. 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:05.880 It affects the way that they raise their children, that 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.920 they perceive what a household and a family and a 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:11.480 wife should be because they've never seen it. 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:12.760 They've never experienced it. 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:14.760 But just because you haven't had it doesn't mean that 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:18.200 you can't try to do right because you have seen it. 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:20.880 Not in your family, but you've seen it in others. Right. 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:25.760 I've never I've never been around billionaires. I've never been 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:28.840 I didn't come from a rich household. But I know 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.280 I want to be rich, you know, But I know 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.800 I want to follow that whatever it is. I haven't 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.040 had it, but I know that I want it, so 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:37.080 I work towards it. 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:37.480 Right. 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:39.840 So to me, there's no excuse for a man to 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.480 be a bad father and leave all the responsibility to 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.480 a mother. Let's talk about the backlash at the workspace 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:48.679 in many occasions. You know, we've even seen women that 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.880 are working at fast food places that have to take 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:54.240 their babies into work. You know, there's cooking fires and 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:56.600 steamers and all types of things. But as a mother, 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.160 when you have nowhere to leave your child financially, you 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.720 may not be able to force daycare or any childcare 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:02.280 at all. 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:02.600 Right. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.199 You may not have any family members, you may be 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.079 solo in another state, in another country, or you may 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.560 not just overall trust anyone. Whatever the case may be, 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.240 you find yourself being a good mother, and being a 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.400 good mother means that you protect your child and you 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:17.960 take them with you because you just can't leave them 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.520 at home these days, the way that your neighbors are 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:22.760 set up and life is set up. Back in the days, 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:26.760 they will leave the kids with like across the street Lavecina, 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:28.880 you know, homemade kid down till they come back from work. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:33.160 Them days is gone. You can't trust anybody with your kids. 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:35.199 You can't trust your neighbor. Oh home, my kid down 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.719 for a couple of hours. That I get from back 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.640 from work. You can't do that either, So what happens 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.079 all the backlash of these mothers trying to take care 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:47.200 of their children, you know, pay ends meet, and then 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:48.160 at the same. 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:51.880 Time maintain and take care of their children. It's it's hard. 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:01.960 I see a lot of people that are judgmental to 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.559 these working women that they're like, oh, well, why did 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.000 you have four kids if you know you can't afford it? 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:09.720 Who knows, you know, we could be very judgmental without 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:12.040 really knowing somebody's story. What about if she was in 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:15.040 a solid relationship with someone, someone that was holding her down, 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.840 things didn't work out and eventually he stepped away, so 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:20.400 now she's stuck with the responsibility. I think that we 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.800 should be more loving, more caring, more affection, and more 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:26.000 nurturing to these women that are holding all this weight 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:26.680 on their own. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:29.080 Because being a parent is a twenty four hour job. 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.199 We can't just turn it off, right, And I don't 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.960 feel like we give each other enough respect for what 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.439 each parent is doing the same way. 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.480 I find crazy when a parent is the one being an. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.880 Active parent in a child's life, and here comes the 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.920 other parent and decides to be disrespectful or have any 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:45.760 personal feelings. 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.360 So there's nothing you can say. 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.760 If you have left the building and this person has 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:54.800 been taking care of your responsibilities as well, whether it's 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.400 a man or whether it's a woman, there is nothing 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.520 the opposite parent can say or do because no matter what, 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.480 this person stayed while you decided to leave. 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.559 Girls, let's talk about it from firm. 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:10.320 I've seen so many occasions and I know this must 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:13.679 piss you off. I'm gonna keep my own personal situation 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:17.040 to myself, but if you know, you know, there's no 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:21.520 worse feeling than to seeing the father of your children 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.680 not being an active parent to your child, but being 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.080 an active parent to his girlfriends or his. 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:32.160 Wife or his dating side chick or whoever it is. 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:35.000 To the point is, you know, just being an active 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:38.400 parent to somebody else's kid. There's no worse feeling than 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:41.360 to seeing a father or a parent that's not active 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:45.000 with their own children but is active with somebody else's kids, 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.839 whether it is that you are spending time with them, 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:51.640 taking them to the park, financially, being responsible, taking them 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.960 to school, whatever, while you, on the other hand, have 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.079 their child that is that came from them. There should 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:03.280 be their responsibility and they take no action whatsoever. That 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.320 must be the worst feeling. And by the way, if 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:06.959 you've been there, done that, and you know what I'm 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.640 talking about, hit me up with that review. Let me 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:12.120 know what you've been through. Talk to me, Come on, 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.120 speak up. I know I'm not the only one. I 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:18.360 know you guys have been through it too. Also understanding 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:22.160 that as a parent, you know you have to prioritize. 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.079 The well being of your children. 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.040 But at the same time, in many occasions you've worked 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:27.719 your whole life for your career. You can lose your 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:33.880 career because of mismanagement of you know, the time that 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:35.680 you spend or the way that you take care of 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:39.480 your child. Someone once told me, who's gonna want you now? 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.440 Who's gonna want you now? With two kids. It's crazy 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:44.320 to me because I know a lot of men who 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.439 have fallen in love with these women that have four 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.440 six kids, and they're like, I'm in it. 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:49.559 You know, I'm in here. 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.080 I like this woman, I love her, I'm down for it, 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.600 and I'm down to come, you know, take whatever comes 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.160 with her. But there's a lot of people with that 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.880 mentality of like, once you have children, your price point 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.560 goes down, your value in society goes down. You're not 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:07.040 as worthy anymore, You're not as fresh, you're not as 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.480 hip anymore. So now you have to even when it 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.720 comes to dating, you have to look at a different 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:14.120 perspective of people. 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:15.560 The same thing with your career. 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:17.600 You need to find a different perspective of people that 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:20.200 can understand that if for any X Y reason you 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.360 have to leave work right now immediately something happened with 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.839 your child, you need to stop whatever you're doing by 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.440 all means necessary, and you have to go handle that. 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.040 I also want to talk about those single fathers out 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.480 there that are putting in that work. You know, that's 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:35.480 a terrible feeling I'm sure for men as well, because 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.560 we barely even you know, we talk about those men 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.720 who have decided to take the full responsibility take custody 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.200 of their children for whatever X to Y reason it 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.120 may be, and they are responsible for those kids, and 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.000 they make sure they go to the football games, and 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.640 they make sure she goes to ballet, and he works 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.719 and he does this. And you know that for men 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:57.080 is not their nature per se to be nurturers. That 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.160 is women's natural intuition. And when it takes a man 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:04.240 to do it. That is also something grand and I'm 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.120 sure that men have to feel crazy as well when 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.840 you are out here changing your whole life, you know, 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:11.280 sleepless nights, putting in. 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.040 That extra work, that extra ship. 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.439 While the mother, now that no longer has that responsibility, 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:20.000 is taking vacations, is traveling, is having a good time, 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.720 It is living her best life because now she doesn't 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.320 have to worry about keeping anybody alive, you know, And 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.120 let's just not talk about what it is to take 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:28.720 care of a kid as far as like, oh, your 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:32.400 food and this and that. But there's doctor's appointments, you know, 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.880 when they feel sick, when they are scared, when they 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:39.120 need comforting, those beginning stages where they need their parents 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.800 to be a good role model, all these things. How 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.280 do you benance it out? I only have two, and 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.080 I wonder back in the days, you know, my grandmother 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:51.280 on my father's side had fourteen children. Can someone explain 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.240 to me what type of drugs she was on, what 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.720 was she doing, what was she eating? Like, how does 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.840 she do it? How did our ancestors do They used 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.480 to have like twenty kids and they were still alive 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:07.320 and saying I have no idea because I have like 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.960 the lack of sleep is really starting to get to me. 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.600 And I don't understand how they did it, but I 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:17.160 respect it. I respect this so so much. And then 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:19.880 here's something I also see different. Back in those days, 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.760 no matter if the women had, you know, twenty kids, 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.920 the father was still in the household, whether he was 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:27.680 consistently working, but came home. 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.040 That image of a father figure. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.920 It is so important in a household, not only for 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.000 the wife, but for the role model for. 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.200 The kids as well. Every little girl needs a father. 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.760 Every little girl needs to feel protected, to feel safe, 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:45.360 every little girl wants to go to the payground, and 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.000 you know, if you do something to her saying I'm 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.480 going to tell my daddy, you know, wait till my 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:53.000 dad comes. You know, that feeling of protection of you 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:54.320 know someone has your back. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:55.320 Yes, your mother does. 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:59.400 But because our nature is to be nurishing, every every 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.040 gender has its role right. We naturally are born with 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:06.440 different instincts and that's what keeps the world balanced. 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:10.280 That's just what that is. But every little boy also 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:11.720 needs a father at home. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.720 Every little boy needs to have that role model that 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.960 they can look up to to learn how to stand behaviors, 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:21.000 how I'm supposed to sit, How is my father treating 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.560 my mother? How is he treating my grandmother and my sister. 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:27.120 Whatever you do, they will mimic. They will copy paste that. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.440 You know, even when you think that they're not looking, 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:33.720 they are paying attention. They are a reflection of you, 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:37.280 your behavior, the way that you're raising them, what you're eating, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.040 if you're working out, if you eat badly, if you 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.000 have an attitude, if you're disrespectful, if you are a 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:46.280 bully as an adult, your children will mimic what you 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:47.920 are doing and they. 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:49.600 Will be a representation of you. 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:52.960 So therefore, I feel that in many occasions we don't 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.360 really bother to pay attention to how important it is 0:16:56.720 --> 0:17:00.200 to have both, you know, both role models in the household. 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.120 It is extremely important. And even if for any x 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:07.240 y reason, you guys as a couple do not work out, 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.600 because it happens in many occasions, we have to learn 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:14.600 how to be adults. Civilized adults get to that space 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.520 because you know, I know there's beef, there's anger. 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:16.960 Okay. 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:21.800 Eventually, eventually you have to become adult enough, mature enough, 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:26.119 grown enough to say, okay, we're not getting along, We 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.600 don't understand each other. The vibe is not right anymore. 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:32.000 But guess what, we're stuck together forever. And now we're 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.040 stuck together forever as a family. Like you may not 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:36.680 like me, I may not like you, whatever, but we 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:38.680 have to do this for the for the well being 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.800 and the sake of these children. So that part is 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.320 very important because that will also help you understand the 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:49.640 other parents' perspective. As far as goncho, you know, this 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.760 guy has to go to work, Let me hold the 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:55.520 weight this week. Vice versa wife, my ex wife for 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.119 the mother and my kids has to work. Let me 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.960 hold the weight this week. Because if you're both at 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.880 the parents, you understand the responsibility, the weight, the stress, 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:07.439 the everything that it takes to raise these children. I 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.520 also feel that for those that are the boss, if 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.760 you are the boss, if you're the one that has 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.439 the employees, if you are the whatever it may be 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.040 at your workspace, and you know that there is a parent, 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:22.800 and you know that there is a parent having a 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:25.480 difficult moment where they're children, as far as they have 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.600 to leave to go to the daycare center pick up 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:29.639 the kids, or the kids may be sick or what 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.440 are I really feel that it is important for us 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:36.840 as a community, as a village to be more understanding 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.760 of each other's situation, whether you have kids or you 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:43.160 may not have kids. Sometimes I feel like some bosses 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:46.000 can be real tough on some you know, on some 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.640 parents that are just out there working to be able 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:49.880 to feed their family. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:52.840 Put yourself in their shoes once in a while. 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:55.439 I understand that you have to keep your level of 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.359