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Speaker 1: Today fed up by telling my zoo keeper girlfriend not

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Speaker 1: to worry too much about her hygiene.

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Speaker 2: But you know she's thank though. When you're rolling around

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Speaker 2: in that hippo pooh bro, you smell like a hippo doo.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't don't smell good. I'll dive into that hip pussy.

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Speaker 2: I'd be lying if I didn't want to. I'd be

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Speaker 2: lying if I didn't want to taste that big cat hip. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: there we go.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to leam her closer. We're trying.

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Speaker 1: I twenty five male, have been dating this woman for

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Speaker 1: a few months now, and honestly.

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Speaker 2: We get along really well. Yeah, she's crazy. She's like

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Speaker 2: an animal in the sheets. She's learning from the lion.

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Speaker 2: She's studying the pole of bears. She's fucking the penguins.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, not the penguins.

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Speaker 1: About a month ago, I met her for dinner one

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Speaker 1: night at a semi fancy restaurant around six pm. She

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Speaker 1: arrived a little bit late and was very apologetic, saying,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I probably smell so

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Speaker 1: funky right now. I tried my best to wash and scrub,

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Speaker 1: but I know it wasn't enough.

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Speaker 2: Here she like rolling around in this shit.

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Speaker 1: She's just like going up to like like hippodochie and

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Speaker 1: just saying, I.

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Speaker 2: Saw this video on Reddit where it was like a

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Speaker 2: zoo keeper helping with a constipated elephant and she literally,

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Speaker 2: like gloved, had to reach into the elephant asshole and

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Speaker 2: pick out the poop. But there was so much pressure

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Speaker 2: build up that it literally just like blew up in

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Speaker 2: her face.

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Speaker 1: You will, guys, no matter what happens in this podcast,

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Speaker 1: you will never catch me working at a zoo. Understand that.

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Speaker 1: Understand that. Now here's the deal. She was pretty stinky.

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Speaker 1: She sinks she works as an animal caretaker at the

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Speaker 1: zoo and had to stay late that night, so I understood.

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Speaker 1: The night was the first night I really noticed her

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Speaker 1: stinking of any animals. It was strong at the table,

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Speaker 1: something between old fish and a ferret cage.

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Speaker 2: Yuck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that does even.

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Speaker 2: Ferrets get such a bad rap.

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Speaker 1: First, you cannot tell me that ferret stink is like.

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Speaker 2: I've never I've never smelled the ferret. I'm just saying

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Speaker 2: ferrets are cute as fuck, and like they just get

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Speaker 2: a bad rap.

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Speaker 3: They do get it.

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Speaker 2: They probably smell bad, they do.

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Speaker 1: They you know, the festerings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, festerings. I mean a ferret cage smell worse than

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Speaker 2: like a guinea pig cage.

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Speaker 3: I mean, just by pure size.

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Speaker 1: I guess this is this is a slight throwback to

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Speaker 1: when to say, what was it? Oh? I said, that's uh,

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Speaker 1: they're close to possums or something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not. They're not. Ferrets are so much cute.

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Speaker 3: We are agreed to.

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Speaker 2: That's a ferrit guy.

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Speaker 1: I guess he's a fairy guy. And the stench was

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Speaker 1: rather unappetizing trying to eat dinner, just like gagging, but

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Speaker 1: not the sort of thing you could smell across the room.

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Speaker 3: So I saw no reason that it should ruin the

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Speaker 3: whole dinner.

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Speaker 2: So probably yeah. Good.

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Speaker 1: So I tried to reassure her and say, oh, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't, and she said, oh, don't lie, there's no

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Speaker 1: way I smell okay right now? So I said, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess there is a light smell, but it just

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Speaker 1: shows you worked hard. I've never been one of those

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Speaker 1: weak's stomach guys who would complain about that. I really

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Speaker 1: don't mind. Honestly, I'm used to animal smells anyways. To

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Speaker 1: my surprise, her eyes lit up. She said, Wow, really,

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Speaker 1: are you serious? That is so reassuring to hear. Dude,

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Speaker 1: she's in love. She love, like, finally someone can deal

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Speaker 1: with my stench. She started opening up about how it

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Speaker 1: was so hard to make sure she always smell good,

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Speaker 1: and that she'd often have to.

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Speaker 3: Scrub for half an hour after work.

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Speaker 1: To even be somewhat presentable, and sometimes even that wasn't enough. God, bro,

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Speaker 1: this is some crazy stink god, and she would have

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Speaker 1: to change her clothes, boots, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: I mean, definitely changing the clothes makes sense, but oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: scrubbing for half an hour, that seems like take a bath.

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Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And then she said she has to sometimes pick days

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Speaker 1: to schedule dates with me, or run errands around her

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Speaker 1: off days, or which animals she'd be working with that

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Speaker 1: day so she makes sure she wouldn't stink too bad.

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Speaker 2: That's so funny.

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Speaker 1: Yikes, I said, wow, I had no idea it was

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Speaker 1: that tough. I asked how other keepers dealt with it,

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Speaker 1: and she said most were either single or dated within

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Speaker 1: the profession, and it was rare to find someone like

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Speaker 1: me who genuinely didn't.

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Speaker 2: Mind, like like Op's date really thinks she's lucked out.

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Speaker 2: She's like, oh my god, this is the perfect man.

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Speaker 1: So I reassured her that, yeah, she doesn't need to

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Speaker 1: be overly concerned about that. With me, I could tell

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Speaker 1: it meant a.

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Speaker 2: Lot to her. I'm one of the cool guys, some.

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Speaker 1: One of the nice guys is what they call me.

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Speaker 1: But this turned out to be a big mistake. Over

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Speaker 1: the past month, we've seen each other more often, and

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Speaker 1: she's usually smelled okay, but there's been four or five

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Speaker 1: occasions where she smelled horrible outride stanky.

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Speaker 2: Also, like going in public with someone that smells that

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Speaker 2: bad is kind of like awkward.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's not good. Wow, ten to twenty times

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Speaker 1: worse than the night in the restaurant.

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Speaker 2: Ten to twenty times that is that is, she's stanky.

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Speaker 1: And he could already smell her at the table like

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Speaker 1: that is egregious. There have been house states and not

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Speaker 1: at restaurants, et cetera. I have to breathe lightly to

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Speaker 1: even try to stomach it, and it really kills my

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Speaker 1: mood and leaves my house freaking yikes.

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Speaker 2: Bro, yikes, this is so bad. This is so I

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Speaker 2: feel so bad for her.

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Speaker 1: It sucks. But at the end of the day, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of like I don't think it's fair for him

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Speaker 1: to because like it sucks for her because like this

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Speaker 1: is what she loves doing. I'm sure, But then it's like, bro,

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Speaker 1: this this guy has has to sit through it, Like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just like maybe tell her. Maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: the dates are all like, hey, let's shower together, or

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Speaker 2: let's like let's run a bath together.

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Speaker 1: He's got to tell her because one day he's just

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Speaker 1: gonna throw up. Yeah, if you can barely breathe broto

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Speaker 1: twenty times, heads to twenty times. He has to tell her,

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Speaker 1: Tell her, what is it that's that you've got Opie?

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Speaker 2: Come clean? She can be clean.