WEBVTT - Tweets and Emails Pt. 2 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.480 This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:05.960 and see my brand new comedy hour. Well it's actually 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:07.480 it's about an hour and a half and I don't 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:10.039 have an opener because these guys cost money. But what 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:13.039 I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.600 come and see me live on the Pants on Fire 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.760 Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now, and 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:23.200 we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout twenty 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:27.040 twenty five and beyond. For a full list of dates, 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:30.360 go to the Craig Ferguson show dot com. See you 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:35.080 on the road, my DearS. My name is Craig Ferguson. 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:39.479 The name of this podcast is joy. I talk to 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:54.000 interesting people about what brings them happiness. Now, I know 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.200 what you're thinking. You're looking behind me here. You're thinking, Craig, 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:01.480 are you in an enchanted magical for is that in 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.840 the wintertime? Are you doing a show from Narnia? Are 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.560 you going to be talking to mister Tumnus, the man 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:13.360 that has horse legs for trousers or something. No, I'm 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:17.560 not actually in Narnia, but very close to Narnia. I'm 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:21.520 in a place called New Jersey. And in New Jersey, 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:23.200 I know if you can hear in the background, you 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:26.000 might be able to hear in the background and buy 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.360 something called a freeway. In New Jersey. They have a 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.039 couple of freeways in New Jersey. And the reason why 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.600 I'm talking to you from there today is this last 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:38.520 week on the Joy podcast, we did an episode of 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:43.000 Tweets and Emails where I answered tweets and emails, and 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:45.679 like I used to do in the old late night show. 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:47.880 You know, you guys send in some tweets and emails 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:50.639 and I answer them and rab it on and bleather 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.760 about whatever nonsense comes into my head, as you know, 0:01:55.440 --> 0:02:00.320 stimulated from the conversation or from the email, not really 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.840 a conversation because it's just me talking. But what I'm 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:08.400 saying is this. It was an overwhelmingly positive response, apparently 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:13.720 everybody was very happy about it, and I thought, well, 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.000 you know, it's quite hard to put together a podcast 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:19.160 from the road, and I'm on the road doing some 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.440 shows right now. Hence I'm in New Jersey, which is 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.480 a much maligned state. By the way, it's actually very nice, 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:28.400 much nicer than you we think. In fact, I think 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.640 that should really be what the state model should be. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.480 New Jersey. It's much nicer than you would think. I 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:39.920 think that would be a more accurate description of the 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:41.840 of the area, because you think it's going to be 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:46.600 just all the freeway and newdi bars and car dealerships, 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.040 and it certainly has that. But doesn't every state doesn't 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.960 every state of that, well, some some states have that. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.440 New Jersey has that. Anyway, Look what I'm saying is 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:59.320 it's much nicer than you we'd think New Jersey. It's 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:02.200 much nicer than you would think. So I'm in a 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.280 hotel in New Jersey, and I'm traveling from one show 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.000 at the show last night, and I'm going to do 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:12.720 another show tonight in Pennsylvania, so I stopped at this hotel. 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.160 The bottom line is we're going to do a second 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:18.520 episode of Tweets and Emails on the Joy podcast, where 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:23.400 we have received further tweets and emails and questions from everybody, 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.639 and what we're going to do is answer those as 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:34.240 accurately or as irresponsibly as possible, and then we will 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:39.320 resume normal Joy podcasting next week, when I'll be talking 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:42.800 to someone about something as opposed to me talking to 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:44.880 you about your thing. But I have the tweets and emails, 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:49.280 and I will begin. This is an email from Pana Slaughter. 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:54.200 Pana Slaughter. Now, it's a lovely name, panaslatter. It sounds 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:58.480 a little bit like panacotta, which is a delicious thing 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:04.480 to eat, panacotta. I think it's clearly Italian. I wonder 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:08.240 if Panaslota is Italian or maybe more kind of around 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:14.240 that area, maybe eastern east of Italy, in the Adriatic somewhere, 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.240 I don't know. I don't know, but Panislota, who is 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:23.000 not panacotta? And asks who would you never invite on 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:26.960 the show. Well, you know, I don't really have rules 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:30.120 about that. I'll kind of talk to anybody as long 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.039 as they'll talk to me. I'm kind of interested. The 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.920 only people I do avoid and I avoided when I 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.120 was doing the late night show, there was a bunch 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.120 of people I avoided, and New Jersey springs to mind, actually, 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:44.880 because I would never I loved the TV show The Sopranos, 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.560 and when I was doing Late Night, the Sopranos was 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:52.200 on TV, and I would never invite any of the 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:54.839 cast members from The Sopranos. I don't know if they 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:56.800 would agree to come on anyway, I didn't invite them, 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.719 but I would never invite them on because I was 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:03.520 what the show, and I loved the show, and I 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:05.719 didn't want to meet the actors and have the actors 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:11.839 be the actor and kind of destroy the fourth wall 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.880 thing that I enjoy in TV. Which is an interesting 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.880 thing then because actually a few years ago I was 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:22.800 having a conversation with Kevin Bacon, now Kevin Bacon, as 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.480 you know, it's very interested man, very very busy actor, 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.279 and he was telling me that he had done a 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.839 he had done a TV show. I wouldn't say which 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.960 one because because he's done so many, but he was 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:37.479 doing a TV show and the production company had asked 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:41.240 him to tweet as the show was going out about 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:45.480 his experience that as doing the show, like you know, oh, 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:48.760 you know, this day was raining and I farted or something, 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.120 and he said, I really he really didn't want to 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.320 do it for the same reason as I wouldn't invite 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:58.159 the sopranos on the show, because his job, as Kevin 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:02.080 Bacon is to convince you he's not Kevin Bacon's that's 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.280 kind of the job. That's what he was saying. Is like, 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.279 I have to do all this work to convince you 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:09.039 I'm not Kevin Bacon. I'm actually somebody else. I'm you know, 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:14.200 Joe the astronaut or Bob the guy who works in 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:17.320 Starbucks or something, and and he's you know, and it's 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.000 clearly it's Kevin Bacon, because you can see it's Kevin Bacon. 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:23.800 But the art and cleverness of what he does is 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:26.480 convince you he's not Kevin Bacon. And if he's tweeting 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:30.400 out on his account, you know that he is Kevin Bacon, 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:31.919 and he was Kevin Bacon when he was doing it. 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:35.480 It's kind of working against himself and I see that anyway. 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:39.680 That's why I wouldn't invite anyone from the sopranos on 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.200 the show. And the other people I wouldn't invite on 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.679 the show. There's only one other person. And I've talked 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.400 about this at the time, that I would never invite 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.560 David Boie on the show. No, I'm not saying that 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.479 he would ever agreed to have been on the show, 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:55.919 but I would never have invited him on the show 0:06:55.960 --> 0:07:00.480 because I was concerned because of the never meet your 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:04.279 heroes thing. I always liked the the mystique and the 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:09.000 kind of the kind of slightly from another planet version 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:13.320 of David Billy. He sort of was from somewhere else 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:18.320 with designs a different color, and I thought, I, if 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.840 he becomes normal to me, I'll lose something, because people 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:25.080 do become normal sort of when you meet them. Like 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.320 over the years I was doing Late Night and doing 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.000 this show and doing other shows, you meet people who 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.200 are very famous or very accomplished in what they do, 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:36.960 and of course they're human beings, and when they become 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:40.160 human beings, they cease to be demigods to you. And 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.680 whilst I'm fine with that most of the time, boy 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:46.280 was a demigod that I kind of didn't want to 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.560 give up. Is that weird? I don't know. I mean, 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:53.760 I guess I'm just a fanboy. And it's funny because 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:57.480 some people who came on the show, you know, we're 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:00.160 only I was only kind of a little bit aware of. 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.000 But as they came on the show, I became much 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.960 more of a fan of them. So I guess it, 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:08.680 and some people are disappointed. I think it would be 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:11.200 kind of mean to say that, you know, so I 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.360 won't say that, But who would never invite on the 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.160 show is the cast of the Sopranos, which is not 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:19.040 TV anymore, or David Boy who is not available anymore 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.760 to do talk shows anyway, So pretty much everybody else 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.640 is good, all right. I hope that helped missus or 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:31.160 MS or Sir Pana Slaughter. I don't know the correct 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:33.880 pronoun for that name, actually Pana. I don't know if Pana, 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:36.079 I don't know what is connected. I don't even want 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:39.160 to talk about this, all right. So this next one 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:45.840 is from Eliza Beson Eliza Vison or Vison or Eliza Veson, 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:50.240 I don't know. But Eliza said, what made you want 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:54.440 to become a comedian? Well, I don't know that I 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.720 ever did want to become a comedian. I think I 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:00.920 don't even know if it's entirely an accurate I mean, 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:02.880 I do it. I do stand up comedy, and I 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:05.520 enjoyed doing it, and it is it is a very 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.560 big part of my life, and I love it. I 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.120 love doing it. It seems to go okay more. And 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.600 it went well in Jersey last night, and the night 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.920 before in Boston it went well. And you know, I'm 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:17.559 kind of blowing over Trump to hear a bit and 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.800 that's going a humble brag. But what I'm saying is 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.840 I do it, but I don't define myself by it, 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.800 if that makes any sense. It was kind of the 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:31.280 same as being a late night host. I mean, for 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:35.520 me late night. There are people, young people I'm aware 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.080 of now, you see, who like they look for a 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.079 career in comedy or they would like to be a 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.320 late night host. And whilst I understand it, I mean 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:46.840 it's been very good to me and it's it's a 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.800 lovely job. I never really say how to do that. 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.840 I wanted to be what everyone else wanted to be 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.000 when I was a kid, which was there was really 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.160 three three things I wanted to be when I was 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:59.560 a kid. I either wanted to be an astronaut, which 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:04.720 in Scottland was limited. There wasn't a huge space program 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.160 in Scotland in the nineteen sixties when I was born, 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:10.520 or indeed now I don't even think they have a 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.920 particularly big space program. I'm sure there must be a 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:17.120 Scottish asterer not somewhere, but anyway, I wasn't cut out 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.400 for astro noting. And I either wanted to be a 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:25.079 sports star. You'll be really good at sports, particularly football, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.560 or as we call it in America, soccer, but football 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:30.440 in Scotland. I wanted to be a star football player, 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:34.720 but I wasn't any good at football, so that gets 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:36.960 in the way. It's I mean, you really can't hide 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.920 in sport. It's one of those things like like in 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.320 show business, you can be shit and it doesn't matter, 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:43.960 you know, if you get a good agent and you're 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.040 in a good thing and people like you the right 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.840 way and stuff, you can and even in a band 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:50.840 you can kind of hide as long as somebody else 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:55.719 kind of covers for you. But in sports it's on you. 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.400 You better be good or you fuck. But anyway, I 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:00.960 wasn't good. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't remotely good. 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.160 Wasn't I wasn't good enough to be even sort of 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:08.920 considered as a someone who could hang around. And the 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:11.640 other thing I wanted to be, of course, was a musician. 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:17.079 And I think in a very strange way, that's kind 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.679 of what I am. I mean, I still play I 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:24.800 you know, I play the drums and I play the guitar, 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:29.200 and I don't play them publicly because that, I think 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.920 would be a way to to look foolish in a way, 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:37.559 which probably I'm not quite ready for. And then the 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.000 I've sung in my life, I've you know, I've done 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.360 shows where I've sung songs, and I'm not a great singer, 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.920 but you know, you kind of don't really have to 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:48.760 be a great singer to sing. I mean there's a 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.840 lot of particularly now with autotune. Good Lord, I mean, 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.120 he just kind of little. And then they put it 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:59.040 through a program and you sound like, you know, Maria 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.640 Kaos or something. I don't know who's a really good 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:05.800 singer anyway. I don't know enough about opera or even 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.559 when she did, I don't know. I think so, I 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.240 think I've wandered off track here. What I'm saying is 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.439 I don't consider myself really a comedian as such. I 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:17.360 think of myself more as a kind of I mean, look, 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:20.000 I'm right, that's what I do. I express myself right now. 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:25.000 I express myself orally in a kind of socratic sense, 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:29.520 I suppose in doing stand up comedy. But I don't 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.839 really tell jokes in that same way. I mean, it's 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:38.560 not and I'm not even I don't think so. I 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:40.680 don't think I'm one of those kind of Hey, have 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.199 you ever noticed how some things are like other things 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.360 or what's the deal with those things? I'm not really 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.319 like that. My stand up tends to be more anecdotal. 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:52.439 I mean, look, it's a lot of it, Let's be honest. 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:59.200 It's lies in fabrication of or artistic license. Certainly the 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.199 current tour is called pants on Fire, just that flat 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.839 out admitting that a lot of this is made up, 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.719 but it's based on truth. I always think that when 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:09.600 you see when you see a movie and it starts 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.920 with this is based on a true story, and you go, well, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.760 isn't everything based on a true story? The fuck you kidding? 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.880 Based on a true story? Sure, and it's based on 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.800 a true story, but then you add you know, aliens 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.880 and stuff, and you know, or wherever you're at anyway, 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.120 the up show is. I don't think I did want 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:31.400 to be a comedian. I it wasn't something I aspired to. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:36.040 Some people are do and I admire it. I guess 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.599 it's a skill set which there are some great, but 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:43.120 like Billy Connolly, I think who the great Scottish comedian 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:48.760 who was? Billy's about twenty years older on me. So 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:54.680 when Billy was just coming through and breaking through, he 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.600 was in his early thirties and I was in my 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:02.480 early teens, and he was very profane and comedy. Was 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:04.760 done an album with Vinyl albums back then, and we 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:07.880 would get his Nyl album and our parents would not 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:09.920 allow us to listen to it because he sent swear 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:12.880 words and he was dirty and stuff. But it was great. 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:17.360 He was so good. But Billy is also a musician, 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.920 so he would play a little. He actually came through 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:24.040 playing in a band called the Humble Bumbs with Jerry Rafferty. 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:28.680 He was a folk musician. He's a good banjo player, Billy, 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.840 and he's a good singer, and so he kind of 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:37.120 drifted into comedy from doing playing folk clubs. And so 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.760 I was very heavily influenced by Billy because he was 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:43.680 from the same socioeconomic background as me. He was the 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.480 first person I ever saw who was famous who sounded 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.800 like we did, like you know, my family or my 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.120 friends and stuff. So he was very and he was 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.160 and he was and is a great comedian. I mean 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.120 for me, he's like he's like Jackie Robinson almost, if 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:00.440 you know what I mean. For me, it was like 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:04.240 he had that kind of gives the first guy into 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:09.280 the big leagues, and I think that that if anything 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.520 made me want to be a comedian, it was maybe 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.360 to emulate Billy. But Billy is a rack on tour. 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:18.000 He's a musician, he's a writer, he's an artist, and 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.880 so whatever past he carved, I think I kind of 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:26.040 rather pathetically follow in his way, like a little kind 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:30.320 of tribute band. Not the Zen wrong being a tribute band, 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:36.640 but that's right. Hello, This is Greig Ferguson, and I 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:38.280 want to let you know I have a brand new 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.680 stand up comedy special out now on YouTube. It's called 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.720 I'm So Happy, and I would be so happy if 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.160 you checked it out. To watch the special, just go 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.520 to my YouTube channel at the Craig Verguson Show and 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.680 is this right there? Just click it and play it 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.400 and it's free. I can't look. I'm not going to 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:57.880 come around your house and show you how to do it. 0:15:57.960 --> 0:15:59.480 If you can't do it, then you can't have it. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:06.640 But if you can out, it's yours, all right. This 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:12.560 is from Killy dyl Meister, which almost sounds like like 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.760 you might be related to Lenny kil Meister from Motorhead, 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.000 but probably not because it's a different name. What music 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:25.160 are you currently listening to at the moment, I have 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:29.680 for some reason, I'm listening to a lot of Schubert. 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.400 I know, it's the it's the weirdest thing. I listened 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:35.760 to a very eclectic taste of music, as most people do, 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:40.240 and I listened to a lot of different things. I like, 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:44.800 you know, death metal and Bossanova and everything in between. 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:48.720 But I reread a book recently that I had read 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:51.760 a long time ago, a book called The Master and 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:55.240 Margarita by Michael Bulgakov. It's a great book if you've 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.240 if you've never read it, give it a go. It's 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:01.000 a fabulous book. And in The Master arga Rita there's 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.040 a reference at one point when I'm not going to 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.159 do any spoilers for you, but the protagonists imagine a 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:11.479 place where everything is all right and they can walk 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.080 in the park and listen to Schubert. And I thought, 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.320 I don't know anything Schubert, so I listened to some Schubert. 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:19.959 And I gotta be honest. I know this is probably 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.160 not news to some of you, but pretty fucking good, 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:29.560 pretty pretty fucking good. I'm not a huge fan of it. 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.920 Seems terrible thing to say. I'm not a huge fan 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.560 of classical music. But I'm kind of kind of no, really, 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.479 you know, that seems to be a lot of dumb 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:42.800 dumb dumb bum bumbody dumb. I'm like, oh, settled down, 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:45.320 But he doesn't have a lot of that. He's a 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:50.040 It's a very melodic and sweeping and kind of ethereal 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:55.520 and gorgeous. So the big news from today's show, I 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:57.960 think that is going to rock. It's just going to 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.840 shake the foundations of the music again. This stee is 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:05.640 that I think Schubert is pretty good. All right. This 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:12.800 is from its Becked. It backed umm it Becked says, 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.520 it's a lovely name. It Becked just one name like 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:23.200 Sting or Madonna or Flash. I don't know who flashes 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.760 Flash Gordon, but that that wouldn't be one day, that 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:30.400 would be two names. It would be Flash, just Flash. 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:36.800 Maybe I'll call myself Flash Flash. Hey it's Flash. Hi everyone, 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:42.679 it's me Flash. Anyway. This is from It's Becked. Who 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:47.520 is it's just got one name like Flash? He said? 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.720 Of the many venues you've performed in which one sticks 0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:55.280 out to you the most? And why? Well? I have 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:59.399 performed in a great deal of venues, some of them 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:02.240 quite un new usual. I remember I did stand up 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:05.520 once on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.919 It was weird. It was one of those corporate gigs 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:13.040 which everybody in show business does. Like everybody if you think, 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.760 oh yeah, but my favorite rock band would never do 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:20.840 a corporate gig, They've fucking done it. Everybody does it. 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:23.080 So I was doing a corporate gig on the floor 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:24.840 of the New York Stock Exchange. You know. All they 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.400 did was they just after the day's trading was over, 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:32.240 a bunch of stockbrokers got together, and you know, they 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:36.080 hired me to come up and tell them stories and 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:39.240 jokes and stuff. And I did it and it was okay. 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:43.560 I felt a little weird doing it, and I think 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:45.960 it was a little bit of a strange experience, but 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:48.000 it worked out all right, and that was quite memorable. 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.560 One of the memorable things about that was there was 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.480 no dressing There's no dressing rooms in the New York 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:55.199 Stock Exchange, so there wasn't a place for me to 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:58.720 go and prepare myself for the day, you know, to 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:03.400 put on my outfit and make up and stuff. As 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.520 usually there's a dressing room or something where you can 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:08.320 go and like, you know, hang out until it's time 0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:10.720 to go on on stage or on the floor of 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:14.160 the New York Stock Exchange. And they didn't have anywhere 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:15.639 for me to sit, so they said, oh, we'll just 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:17.760 go into the chairman's office. You can just go to 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.560 the chairman's office of the New York Stock Age because 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:23.040 he's not there. Now I don't know who that is, 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:26.119 but I mean it's somewhat super powerful, probably like I 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:29.399 don't know, Satan or something, Satan's office at the New 0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:32.840 York I don't know if say, I don't think it's 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:37.320 but somebody, you know, somebody very powerful who runs the 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.560 New York Stock Exchange. And they had this very fancy 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:43.040 office and obviously it was in the evening, so this 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:46.320 individual wasn't there. And I went into the office and 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:52.479 on the wall was hanging at Jackson Pollock painting. Now 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:54.200 I don't know if you know anything about Jackson Pollock, 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:58.320 but Jackson Pollock was that he's the scatter man or 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:06.200 modern art. And the paintings are the title paintings. They're abstracts, 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.960 and they're they're kind of their evocative and emotional pieces 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:12.560 of art, but they're not figurative. You know, they don't 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:15.399 have there's not a picture of a cat or you know, 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:19.040 a little boy fishing or Sinorita turning to you or 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:22.880 anything like that. So you know, so it's not it's 0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:24.720 the kind of thing. My wife is more involved than 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:27.720 she knows all about that. But I don't really I 0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:30.399 like paintns of things, you know, like, oh, look a 0:21:30.880 --> 0:21:33.200 look at that painting. It's a painting of a cat, 0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:40.119 isn't it really good? But but she understands Rothko and 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:43.800 Jackson Pollock and you know, Cy Twombly and all those 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:46.640 very clever people. And but it was the first time 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:50.119 I'd been in the presence of an actual Jackson Pollock painting, 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:53.359 and the first thing that, you know, I'd seen reproductions 0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:56.840 of his paintings in photographs, as I'm sure all of 0:21:56.880 --> 0:21:59.119 you have. And we could probably put some up in 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.920 the web site or something into it. We have a website, 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.840 we probably do. We have a website, right, so you 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:06.920 can put Jackson Pollock up and you go, oh, yeah, 0:22:06.920 --> 0:22:09.639 I know what you mean. But what was interesting was 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:13.359 that being in the presence of the actual painting was 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:17.120 a very different experience. It hit me like a freight train. 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:20.280 It was amazing because I was like, oh my god, 0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:25.359 this is and I can't put into words what it did. 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:27.560 And I know this sounds fanciful and a bit kind 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:30.920 of you know, really Craig, but it was a very 0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:34.840 emotional response and I couldn't describe it in words. And look, 0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:37.520 I have no fucking slouch when it comes to describing things. 0:22:37.560 --> 0:22:41.679 I work with words. I'm fairly decent, you know, describing 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.000 how I feel or how I see things or right, 0:22:44.920 --> 0:22:48.439 I like to think I'm fairly air dye. But I 0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:56.520 couldn't express the emotion that this painting seemed to construct 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:01.160 or elicit from me. And I was I'm still kind 0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:03.560 of impressed by that. I'm kind of amazed by that, 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:06.040 and it made me kind of drew me into it. 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:09.400 It wasn't all happiness, and it wasn't all sadness. It 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:12.680