Speaker 1: Uh, I'm finishing my many taco from Trader Joe's OJS.
Speaker 2: You know, sponsor us, dude, I wish.
Speaker 3: That we could get sponsor protruders. I've never even seen
Speaker 3: them like nod.
Speaker 1: Because they gave all that money to the LAPD when
Speaker 1: the LAPD opened fire wildly into one of their stores,
Speaker 1: murdering an employee. Why can't we get some of that cash?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Trader Joe's.
Speaker 2: Was that in la Uh huh I remember that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was like a criminal on the loose, and
Speaker 1: the LAPD decided, you know what will help this situation,
Speaker 1: emptying our ar fifteens into a glass storefront. And then
Speaker 1: Trader Joe said, thanks guys, here's a donation. Matt Leeb,
Speaker 1: what's the hull, Matt? This is part two. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it'll be airing the same week or months later.
Speaker 1: We'll probably slot this in around Thanksgiving or some ship
Speaker 1: when we've got some anyway, there we're doing a little.
Speaker 2: Pinhitmry to be filler, put me down podcast sweeps week.
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone to hear this shit.
Speaker 1: We're reading some books because I need a little bit
Speaker 1: of a break. Well, actually, I just need to get
Speaker 1: ahead up on production. I'm still writing episodes this week,
Speaker 1: but this helps out. So I'm going to be reading
Speaker 1: you a story, another little book, a canticle for Matt Lebowitz,
Speaker 1: Matt Libowitz, I'm do you get my canticle for Lebelwitz, Joe.
Speaker 2: It's not bad.
Speaker 1: That's a pretty good little referenced.
Speaker 2: There we go, thank you. I don't have the jar Jr. Soundboard. Uh,
Speaker 2: it's just I got a new thing and now it's
Speaker 2: just all kind of boring ones. So I won't be
Speaker 2: doing it, you know what, because this is the in between.
Speaker 1: Thetweens, and people are still people are still going to
Speaker 1: be pedants. Someone's going to be like, actually, a canticle
Speaker 1: is like a hymn or a psalm or something like that,
Speaker 1: it's not a book, And to which I would say,
Speaker 1: we're reading another Scott Adams book, and his prose is
Speaker 1: both musical and holy, like the text of a psalm.
Speaker 2: You know exactly. Yeah, what I was there to say, Matt, Matt, Matt,
Speaker 2: Matt what So.
Speaker 1: I was just out in between recording the first episode
Speaker 1: on Scott's Terrible Novels in the second checking on my
Speaker 1: goats because I castrated one of them the other day,
Speaker 1: which I.
Speaker 2: Wanted to hear more. I wanted to hear more about
Speaker 2: why did you do that?
Speaker 1: Well, you can't have too many bulls or whatever rams
Speaker 1: with the testicles hanging out, like you don't really want
Speaker 1: to have more than one because they'll like hurt each other, right,
Speaker 1: And we're not going to breed this one. So he's
Speaker 1: going to live a long, happy life, but he just
Speaker 1: is not going to have testicles. It's like your cat,
Speaker 1: right or you know, Like I had somebody get get
Speaker 1: all unrey at me online about this. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, like you do it to your animals,
Speaker 1: Like if you have a pet, it's just like it's
Speaker 1: not going to breed, it's going to get hurt, hurt anyway.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't care what people feel about it. What's interesting
Speaker 1: to me about it is that the way we do
Speaker 1: it is with rubber bands. Right, there's like a whole setup,
Speaker 1: yeah where and you basically just kind of you know,
Speaker 1: there's a little pain for an hour or so, and
Speaker 1: then the nerves kind of deaden and then eventually the
Speaker 1: test Like.
Speaker 2: When BuzzFeed they'll do a live stream where they put
Speaker 2: a bunch of rubber bands on a watermelon and they
Speaker 2: keep putting it on until it explodes.
Speaker 1: No, that would be a crime, I believe use we
Speaker 1: use a specific device and specific rubber bands meant for castration.
Speaker 1: But what's interesting to me about this, Matt, is that
Speaker 1: the first real powerful moment that I had as a
Speaker 1: young child on the internet. I think this occurred around
Speaker 1: ninety nine, might have been his late as two thousand
Speaker 1: and two thousand and one is I'm hanging out. I'm
Speaker 1: sure I found it through something awful, and I wind
Speaker 1: up on this web forum for gay men who are
Speaker 1: in a very specific kind of I think you would say,
Speaker 1: like pro like dom sub relationship oka. And it was
Speaker 1: a subset of these guys talking about auto castration, which
Speaker 1: is how to castrate yourself. And they also used rubber
Speaker 1: bands on themselves to kill their testicles and then eventually
Speaker 1: remove them. And anyway, isn't it beautiful that as a
Speaker 1: little boy I learned that about the world I read.
Speaker 1: I spent hours. I didn't know why, but I spent
Speaker 1: hours reading all of these detailed discussions about the best
Speaker 1: way because these guys, there's not like there was like
Speaker 1: a book how to castrate yourself right, like there was
Speaker 1: I think people had back in the Catholic Church days
Speaker 1: when you'd had to do it to like sing better.
Speaker 1: People had learned a lot of this stuff, but I
Speaker 1: think it was like an oral tradition.
Speaker 2: No, and also were probably in Latin too, so it's
Speaker 2: like you got to learn Latin to learn how a
Speaker 2: couple of round balls off? What is I thought this
Speaker 2: was America.
Speaker 1: Much like in a canticle for Lebowitz. These people had
Speaker 1: to rediscover, you know, the knowledge of the past. And
Speaker 1: I spent hours and this is like I can remember
Speaker 1: one time like reading just like I'm going through this
Speaker 1: and stuff. It's like early on a Sunday morning, I've
Speaker 1: gotten up early to check read the Internet. Before my
Speaker 1: dad takes the dial up. We've got to like go
Speaker 1: to church, and so I go to church. Just like
Speaker 1: thinking about these descriptions of how men castrated themselves using
Speaker 1: reb bands, which I love about the Internet. I credit
Speaker 1: that with a lot of the you know, just learning
Speaker 1: the vast had a lot.
Speaker 2: Of sense that that is like an early memory for you. Powerful.
Speaker 2: It's weird how much that probably dictated where you're at
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, it had no impact on me castrating a goat.
Speaker 1: I did that because my neighbors who are more experienced
Speaker 1: with this sort of thing do it that way.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought it was because it's just love of
Speaker 2: the game.
Speaker 1: You love the game. That's why I got that ABC tattoo.
Speaker 1: Baby always be castraighting.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, man, No, Like I was also like, I
Speaker 2: feel like goatsy had a huge influence. Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2: It just it showed me that humans are capable of
Speaker 2: remarkable feats.
Speaker 1: Humans are capable of remarkable feats. It also taught me
Speaker 1: a lot about storytelling. If you go back to and
Speaker 1: if you're not, if you're if you're young right, or
Speaker 1: you just weren't terminally online goat See was like one
Speaker 1: of the very first online memes, and it was really
Speaker 1: the most influential early online meme. And the basics of
Speaker 1: it is that it's a photo some fellow took with
Speaker 1: a prolapsed rectum of himself bending over and spreading his
Speaker 1: ass cheeks so that you can see what his prolapsed
Speaker 1: rectum looks like. And it is biologically a fascinating photo.
Speaker 1: And because it was just kind of like one of
Speaker 1: the more horrifying I thin guess how most people found
Speaker 1: it things being passed around the early Internet, it became
Speaker 1: like a shorthand. For I am a very online person.
Speaker 1: The way you would express this shorthand is you would
Speaker 1: trick people into looking at the picture of this man's
Speaker 1: rectum by being like, Wow, there's a fire at the
Speaker 1: power plant nearby. Check out this photo of it or
Speaker 1: something like.
Speaker 2: That, this hyperlink, you know, and then it would just
Speaker 2: be goatsy guy stretching out his asshole hello wide, yeah,
Speaker 2: and you'd be like, oh no, not again.
Speaker 1: All of these different bits of Internet culture when they
Speaker 1: come down to normies, right, they get sort of softened.
Speaker 1: Like the softening of Goatsy was rickrolling right, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just a video this bad song, right, instead of
Speaker 1: this man's like confounding anus.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, to be fair, the guy doing Goatsy was
Speaker 2: Rick Astley.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's why he's got the ass right in there right there.
Speaker 3: The name.
Speaker 2: That's good. That's good stuff.
Speaker 1: Well, it's also fun because I think Goatsy taught me
Speaker 1: everything that you really need to know about good storytelling
Speaker 1: right open obviously you want to grab them right away,
Speaker 1: and that prolapsed rectum is like a great intro paragraph. Right,
Speaker 1: you're immediately in the story, but you also want to
Speaker 1: you want to set up like mysteries, you want to
Speaker 1: set up aspects of the plot they're going to be
Speaker 1: relevant later, because that's just kind of satisfying as a reader.
Speaker 1: And the goats Sy version of that is this dude's
Speaker 1: got a wedding ring right now, Like we don't know
Speaker 1: much of.
Speaker 2: It, but we know there's we know there's.
Speaker 1: A story going on with right, Yeah, somewhere behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: right and maybe you know, maybe one day we'll find
Speaker 1: the answer to that mystery.
Speaker 2: We know that he took a valve before God, and
Speaker 2: we know that you know, he's got shiny hands, so
Speaker 2: you know that he's also safe when he's tearing his
Speaker 2: asshole aside.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, he's careful, he cares. There's a whole world
Speaker 1: implied in Goatsy. Speaking of people who created a whole world,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the peerless fictional crafting of
Speaker 1: Scott Adams.
Speaker 4: Now, oh yes, the Goatsy of the comic book, the
Speaker 4: Coatsy of the comic book world right, the prolapsed anus
Speaker 4: of modern discourse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did one of my favorites. So there's this
Speaker 1: thing in Vegas, the the Madison Square Garden sphere, which
Speaker 1: is you've seen pictures of it all people are doing
Speaker 1: it as like my favorite post about it is like,
Speaker 1: you know, somebody posts like a picture of it looking
Speaker 1: like an eyeball and was like, can't wait till someone
Speaker 1: hacks this and we get to watch mister Hans die
Speaker 1: on it. And again, if you're not an old internet had,
Speaker 1: Mister Hands is a man who was part of a
Speaker 1: gang of Zoo files who would regularly meet up in Washington,
Speaker 1: I believe, and like molest a horse, and one day
Speaker 1: the horse fucked him and he died as a result
Speaker 1: of it. For reasons I shouldn't need to explain.
Speaker 2: Biological and we can all put that together, and I
Speaker 2: think you can anyway put it together.
Speaker 1: It wound up. He was like a congressional aid or
Speaker 1: some shit. He had some job in government. It was
Speaker 1: like a weird or he was like a contractor. I
Speaker 1: think he was like a so he he was. It
Speaker 1: was like a whole black thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was wild.
Speaker 1: There's a documentary about it called Zoo that is very
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to watch, but we'll give you the whole story.
Speaker 2: There's also a movie semi about it called The Death
Speaker 2: of Dick Long and you must watch it that I
Speaker 2: haven't seen. But my god, I wish I hadn't said
Speaker 2: anything in fact, but now you should see this movie.
Speaker 2: It's one of the greatest movies ever.
Speaker 1: Now I have decided that if I ever get to
Speaker 1: set up like my canticle for Lebowitz style, like like
Speaker 1: hidden you know, a reservoir of human knowledge for people
Speaker 1: after the apocalypse to rebuild society, you know, my version
Speaker 1: of the foundation. Actually it's just gonna be Zoo and
Speaker 1: that other movie. That's all they need.
Speaker 2: That's all they'll need to know. What was this culture
Speaker 2: about guy's getting fucked up by the guys were getting
Speaker 2: fucked up by horses? To hard I guess you know, hey,
Speaker 2: to each their own is.
Speaker 1: Said, we're delaying the start of God's Debris. Now we
Speaker 1: read The Religion War last time, which is actually the
Speaker 1: sequel to God's Debris, but God's Debris takes place after
Speaker 1: the Religion War. I didn't do this for any artistic reason.
Speaker 1: I did it because if Scott has any sort of
Speaker 1: pride at all as a writer, then he was very
Speaker 1: intentional in having these books set the way they are,
Speaker 1: and I don't like Scott or respect him, so fuck him.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, now, welcome to death, like that horse did
Speaker 2: to mister.
Speaker 1: Hands, like that hosted to mister Hands. Now I feel
Speaker 1: like I should start with noting that on the inside
Speaker 1: of this book we get the author's websites, So we
Speaker 1: get Dilbert dot com. Fine, dil burrito dot com, which
Speaker 1: is the burrito that he made that was an instant
Speaker 1: failure because it made people shit themselves half to death
Speaker 1: and tasted horrible.
Speaker 2: And then the yeah, oh you didn't know about the Delta.
Speaker 2: We talked about it in the episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he made a vitamin pill that was a burrito
Speaker 1: and it was horrible.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, God bless him, God bless aurial spirit.
Speaker 1: And then he started a restaurant called Stacy's Cafe, which
Speaker 1: is the name of the cafe the super Genius works at. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's got that rep that website on here too good
Speaker 1: to see how all of Scott's projects worked. So introduction.
Speaker 1: This is not a Dilbert book. It contains no humor.
Speaker 1: Those two are not exclusive Scott. I call it one
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty two page thought experiment wrapped in a
Speaker 1: fictional story. I'll explain the thought experiment part later. God's
Speaker 1: Debris doesn't fit into normal publishing cubby holes. There's here's
Speaker 1: the bit I was telling you about last time. There's
Speaker 1: even disagreement about whether the material is fiction or nonfiction.
Speaker 1: I contend that it's fiction because the characters don't exist.
Speaker 1: Some people contend that it's nonfiction because the opinions and
Speaker 1: philosophies of the characters might have lasting impact on the reader. Again,
Speaker 1: like eighty percent definition.
Speaker 2: Not the definition of fiction and nonfiction.
Speaker 1: So many of the most influential tech weirdos in the
Speaker 1: country's entire version like vision of reality is based on
Speaker 1: misinterpreting Doune Like yeah, like that's like what fiction is for.
Speaker 1: But okay, okay, Scott kind of shitting on the entire
Speaker 1: craft of fiction.
Speaker 2: But fine.
Speaker 1: The target audience for God's Debris people who enjoy having
Speaker 1: their brains spun around inside their skulls. After a certain age,
Speaker 1: most people are uncomfortable with new ideas, like, for example,
Speaker 1: the existence of turkey. That certain age varies by person,
Speaker 1: but if you're over fifty five, mentally you.
Speaker 2: Won't enjoy this. Get your brain spun Wait to hear
Speaker 2: about Sunnis and Shia's yeah, good, Yes, dude, that's gonna
Speaker 2: fuck you up.
Speaker 1: That certain age varies by person, but if you're over
Speaker 1: fifty five minute, you probably won't enjoy this thought experiment.
Speaker 1: If you're eighty going on thirty five, you might like it.
Speaker 1: If you're twenty three, your odds of liking it are
Speaker 1: very good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is how you sell to this demographic. By
Speaker 2: the way, he's got it down to a t. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you got it right at the beginning of your book. Hey,
Speaker 2: if you're young, this is cool, and for you it's
Speaker 2: want to smoke cigarettes. And then you say, if you're old,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna get this. Parents just don't understand why,
Speaker 2: my shit, that guy gets it. Man. That's why Dilbert
Speaker 2: is a big hit with the kids these days. God.
Speaker 1: There's so much in here too, just about like his
Speaker 1: belief system because he's like so the story central characters
Speaker 1: of you about God that you've probably never heard before.
Speaker 1: If you think you'd be offended by a fictional characters
Speaker 1: on traditional view of God, please don't read this. The
Speaker 1: opinions in philosophy here's the best part. The opinions in
Speaker 1: philosophies expressed by the characters are not my own except
Speaker 1: by coincidence, and a few spots not worth mentioning. Pease,
Speaker 1: please don't write me with passionate explanations of why my
Speaker 1: views they're wrong. You won't discover my opinions by reading
Speaker 1: my fiction. I beg to differ, Scott. I think I
Speaker 1: think we might have picked out a couple of opinions.
Speaker 2: We made it pretty clear that you are very It's
Speaker 2: you know you can read him like a book, which
Speaker 2: is ironic here. I love this. I love the idea
Speaker 2: every single book so far that you've read, uh starts
Speaker 2: out with the sales pitch to the demographic and or
Speaker 2: the publisher, and.
Speaker 1: Which is I do love the idea of like, if
Speaker 1: every author did this, if Tolkien's like you might not
Speaker 1: think a little guy who lives in a hole is
Speaker 1: very interesting.
Speaker 2: But let me tell you about this habit he learned.
Speaker 2: Tell you about it. If you're just an old fogy,
Speaker 2: you're not really going to understand this. But if you're
Speaker 2: a kid, holy shit, hold on your brains because it's
Speaker 2: about to get spun around.
Speaker 1: If you or if you're over fifty five, you probably
Speaker 1: think it's okay to craft a series of magical rings
Speaker 1: that allow you to dominate the minds of entire races.
Speaker 2: But let me tell you something, it's not. Yeah, oh man,
Speaker 2: I love it too, because it's not fiction, because the
Speaker 2: ideas of crafting the magical ring have been like thought
Speaker 2: about in a nonfiction world. It is you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Is that not what Hitler was trying to do.
Speaker 1: I want to give Frank Herbert's version of this. I
Speaker 1: bet you guys think that fears good. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: let me tell you it's the mind killer. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like, does me a little bit to be honest? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: The central character in God's Debris, that's the avatar, knows everything,
Speaker 1: literally everything. This presented a challenge to me as a
Speaker 1: writer when you consider all of the things that can
Speaker 1: be known. I don't know much. My solution was to
Speaker 1: create smart sounding answers using the skeptics creed. The simplest
Speaker 1: explanation is usually right.
Speaker 2: You know, why is he doing this? Why is he
Speaker 2: explaining literally every aspect of this? He knows.
Speaker 1: The key to good writing is tell, and it no
Speaker 1: point show. Don't even write a novel, just tell people what.
Speaker 2: They should tell. Yeah, Oh my god, so funny.
Speaker 1: Like Also, so, the simplest explanation in that last book
Speaker 1: was that you can stop people from believing in all
Speaker 1: of their faiths with a single joke.
Speaker 2: With a with a heart joke that goes viral.
Speaker 1: That's the simplest explanation. You might be getting Okham's Razor wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think he understand Sokham's Razor, but it's
Speaker 2: you know, for him. I'm glad he's like almost humble
Speaker 2: because he's just like, you know, listen, I'll admit that
Speaker 2: I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I
Speaker 2: get around that fallacy. I get around that by like
Speaker 2: saying smart things like fart joke can save people by
Speaker 2: making them not believing God yeah, fart joke, brain big. Yeah,
Speaker 2: fart joke, brain big.
Speaker 1: That's that is. I'm gonna get on good Reads and
Speaker 1: review this.
Speaker 2: Brain big joke.
Speaker 1: Now, man, So this does the chapter one for this
Speaker 1: has the same name as if you were to do
Speaker 1: a book about mister Hands the package.
Speaker 2: Oh, here we go. That's pretty good. That's not bad,
Speaker 2: not bad.
Speaker 1: Put that joke in our canticle for Lebowitz Storehouse of
Speaker 1: Human Achievement. Yeah, the rain made everything sound different. The
Speaker 1: engine of my delivery van. The traffic is it rolled
Speaker 1: by in a film of fallen clouds, the occasional dull honk.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a great job, but it wasn't bad either.
Speaker 1: I knew the city so well that I could lose
Speaker 1: myself in thought and still do the work, still get paid,
Speaker 1: still have plenty of time for myself. So he's a
Speaker 1: delivery man. That's our character. He's about to go meet
Speaker 1: the avatar. He's gonna drop a package off. YadA YadA, YadA,
Speaker 1: YadA YadA.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: There is a fun bit about driving in San Francisco
Speaker 1: here where he's like, if you think too hard, you
Speaker 1: ever shoot your target and end up at the pier
Speaker 1: the tinderloind. If you relax and let the city help,
Speaker 1: the destination does all the work for you. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I've driven a lot in San Francisco. It's actually pretty
Speaker 1: hard to accidentally wind up at the pier.
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, you definitely will not accidentally get to the
Speaker 2: will You will get to the pier because you mistakenly
Speaker 2: thought it would be easier to do that than take
Speaker 2: an uber or take like the mass transit, And then
Speaker 2: you'll realize you.
Speaker 1: Have to park at the pier, which is a fucking nightmare. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll hate yourself. Stay away from the pier, avoid the
Speaker 1: peer at all costs.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, tinder Loin's fine. He gets to the delivery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he knocks on the door, and he's going to meet
Speaker 1: the avatar, the old man.
Speaker 2: That's chapter two.
Speaker 1: I figured I would leave the package inside the door
Speaker 1: and sign the customer's name I had signed for customers
Speaker 1: to before.
Speaker 2: No one had complained yet.
Speaker 1: It was a firing offense, but that only happened if
Speaker 1: you got caught inside. I could see a long, dark
Speaker 1: hallway with red faux textured walls lined with huge illuminated paintings.
Speaker 1: At the end was a half open door to a
Speaker 1: room that hosted a flickery. Yet at god, okay.
Speaker 2: Uh, if he's so smart, i'l come. His door is
Speaker 2: already opened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, come, his doors already well, because he's been expecting.
Speaker 1: This guy was startling. Yeah, yeah, the avatars, like I've
Speaker 1: been expecting. You you know one of those things.
Speaker 2: Uh they're naked with a towel around them, just like yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, So he tells the avatar's get a package that
Speaker 1: this guy needs to sign for and then the guy
Speaker 1: does a mysterious genius old man stuff and asks him,
Speaker 1: if you toss a coin a thousand times, how often
Speaker 1: will it come up heads. The elderly are spooky when
Speaker 1: they degenerate into reflections of their younger selves. They say
Speaker 1: things that make sense. It's some grammatical level, but it's
Speaker 1: not always connected to reality. I remember my grandfather in
Speaker 1: his declining years, how we spoken non sequiturs. It was
Speaker 1: best to play along about fifty percent of the time,
Speaker 1: I answered, before changing the subject. I need a signature
Speaker 1: for this package. Why, well, I said, measuring how much
Speaker 1: information to include in my response. The person who sent
Speaker 1: the package wants a signature. He needs confirmation that it
Speaker 1: got delivered. I meant, why does the package come up
Speaker 1: heads fifty percent of the time?
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So, first off, don't ever do this to a delivery boy. Look,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you have all of the secrets
Speaker 1: of the universe to pass on. He is getting paid,
Speaker 1: you know, hourly. He's got like a fucking more than that.
Speaker 1: He's got like a car full of shit to deliver.
Speaker 1: He's getting like penalized if he's not making his deliveries
Speaker 1: fast enough.
Speaker 2: To deal with dogs too. He's got to deal with
Speaker 2: fucking traffic. He's done. These guys are overworked as it is.
Speaker 2: If you got a fucking little brain puzzle, like if
Speaker 2: you do flippies on coins, how many time it go? Ahead?
Speaker 2: Just then fucking keep it to yourself. Just yeah.
Speaker 1: So he the avatar is like, you can just sign
Speaker 1: for me, and he looks up the name on the
Speaker 1: package slip and it's avatar. So he signs for him. Uh,
Speaker 1: and he's like, it's for you, what's for me? The package?
Speaker 1: I just delivered the packages, I said, My job is
Speaker 1: to bring them to you. It's your package. No, it's yours.
Speaker 1: Uh okay, I said. Planning my exit strategy, I figured
Speaker 1: I could leave the package in the hallway on the
Speaker 1: way out. The old man's caretaker would find it. What's
Speaker 1: in the package? I asked, hoping to get past an
Speaker 1: awkward moment. It's the answer to your question. I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting to be exactly yeah, it's this. So like the
Speaker 1: gist is that the avatar is doing this like very
Speaker 1: frustrating faux smart like, oh, did you deliver the package
Speaker 1: or did the package deliver you because you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: come here if not. Well, actually, like I came here
Speaker 1: because it's my job and I have to make rent.
Speaker 1: But whatever, we went through over this in the episodes,
Speaker 1: it's very frustrating.
Speaker 2: Let's mind jiu jitsu, we like to call it. In
Speaker 2: smart guy circles.
Speaker 1: The delivery man's mind has been tickled by the avatars
Speaker 1: brilliant who delivered the package? Used the baggage?
Speaker 2: Who's on first? And I'm thinking that she's saying who,
Speaker 2: But it's our guy? Is our guy? Name who? It's
Speaker 2: just it's spoilers.
Speaker 1: This whole thing is a Socratic dialogue, so the whole
Speaker 1: plot is just the two of them talking in a room,
Speaker 1: which is why this will be shorter than our than
Speaker 1: the epic about the religion war.
Speaker 2: But let's uh, I just want to I just want
Speaker 2: to come back.
Speaker 3: I was muted, but like a minute and a half ago,
Speaker 3: Matt made Matt made a funny and I want to
Speaker 3: acknowledge that.
Speaker 2: What was it? I went, I gave you like a.
Speaker 3: And you didn't get to hear it because I was muted, So.
Speaker 2: I wanted to come back to give it to you.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I said, but smart guys, and
Speaker 2: I was like, hell yeah, man, hell yeah for you, Yeah,
Speaker 2: for you. I like when people I just love it.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: We're not telling you the listener what the joke was
Speaker 1: that made her laugh? Yeah, nobody know what he's saying.
Speaker 2: Ship. Yeah it made you laugh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let us let us know which joke you think
Speaker 1: Sophie was laughing at.
Speaker 2: I need a Sophie in my life, man. I need
Speaker 2: someone who's just like be like, hey, by the way,
Speaker 2: a few minutes ago, you fucking killed that. H Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do that to people and I'm just lying,
Speaker 1: you know, and then they wonder for the rest of
Speaker 1: their lives, like what it was they said that was
Speaker 1: smart or funny, and they think I'm being nice so
Speaker 1: they like me, but I'm really just gaslighting, Like I'm
Speaker 1: actually just trying to damage their brains?
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you? The avatar is you? And the
Speaker 2: avatar is a fun can prick.
Speaker 3: It's time for ads, I think.
Speaker 1: Sophie, you know what is the avatar of capitalism is
Speaker 1: the sponsors of behind the Bastards.
Speaker 3: You know, unless you have cooler zone media then ha haha, No.
Speaker 2: Then you get it free, no ads, haah paying.
Speaker 1: Us money to listen to this ad free on cooler
Speaker 1: Zone Media is equivalent to being chosen by the avatar
Speaker 1: during your delivery drive.
Speaker 3: Couldn't agree more.
Speaker 2: To inherit his wisdom. So yeah, you know packages for you.
Speaker 1: If you subscribe to cooler Zone Media, you can pretend
Speaker 1: that Matt Leeb and I invited you into our home
Speaker 1: that we share together in order to teach you our
Speaker 1: wisdom in front of a crackling fire. You're allowed to
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: And our wisdom is just doing Abbot and Costello bits. Yeah, well,
Speaker 2: you do them smart.
Speaker 1: I do them badly because I can only kind of
Speaker 1: remember who's on first, and I think the Mummy movie
Speaker 1: they were in, that's all.
Speaker 2: I got. The Mommy movie. That's the real smart guy movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I watched part of that one morning when
Speaker 1: I got up early to watch the the CGI Starship
Speaker 1: Troopers show that was only on on like six am
Speaker 1: back in the Yeah. Anyway, great, great show, both of them,
Speaker 1: both of them, and we're back, Matt. Did you ever
Speaker 1: watch the CGI Starship Troopers show?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: I didn't even really know nobody saw. Yeah what was
Speaker 2: Was it also a satire? Or were they like?
Speaker 1: No, it was like pretty close to the aspects of
Speaker 1: the book. It was closer to the book than the show,
Speaker 1: but also did its own thing. I haven't watched it
Speaker 1: in twenty five years, but I remember it being pretty cool.
Speaker 1: That said, it was easier to impress me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is before you saw Gotzi and
Speaker 2: mister Hands.
Speaker 1: This was right around when I saw gots This was
Speaker 1: probably before mister Hans though, Okay it is. I do
Speaker 1: wonder what it did to me and so many other
Speaker 1: members of my generation. Just like watching a video where
Speaker 1: a man gets fucked to death by a horse as
Speaker 1: a little kid, it did something to me, and because
Speaker 1: like somebody tricked me into watching it, right, because yeah,
Speaker 1: just like huh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, definitely for me, I was just like, all right,
Speaker 2: so avoid horses, so avoid horses. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well it was also this thing where like it was
Speaker 1: the first thing I can remember where I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I probably can't talk to my parents about this, Like
Speaker 1: if I if I ask them about this video, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be allowed on the internet anymore.
Speaker 2: Right exactly, I'm just keeping this one from them, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was. In fact, I think I did the exact
Speaker 2: same thing and I'm not sure, but I low key
Speaker 2: blamed that for my eventual drug addiction, because eventually I
Speaker 2: started keeping more secrets like first mister Hands than it
Speaker 2: was Tobgirl. Then it was delauded. You know, That's how
Speaker 2: it goes.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine dying to ask your parents about Tubgirl.
Speaker 2: Or Lemon Party?
Speaker 1: Holy shit, I don't even know. I don't even know
Speaker 1: how to describe that to the listener. Well, Lemon Party
Speaker 1: is a bunch of old people, Evan's energy. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to try to describe Tubgirl. You don't need that
Speaker 1: in your head if you haven't already seen it. If
Speaker 1: you have, then you just the minute I said the words,
Speaker 1: Even if you don't have a visual memory, a perfectly
Speaker 1: clear photo of it popped up in your head, like
Speaker 1: if you're driving, you just veered off the fucking road
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and we're sorry about that, Barl apologizable for it. Legally,
Speaker 2: it's not our fault. We are safe from legal Who
Speaker 2: was it?
Speaker 1: What was it that made used to make web forums?
Speaker 1: What was the PHP or something like that. I forget
Speaker 1: the name of the online underlying software? Whatever, fuck it, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Chapter two after this, uh, this delivery boys
Speaker 1: decided to stay and talk to the Avatar. Is your
Speaker 1: free will? Do you believe in God? The old man asked,
Speaker 1: as if we had known each other forever but had
Speaker 1: somehow neglected to discuss that one time topic.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but this is like everything. It's like he
Speaker 2: saw the Matrix. Yeah, they really only like the scene
Speaker 2: where they're sitting on the leather couches, and he was
Speaker 2: like that whole Let's make that the whole book. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's also like, you know, this is I'm actually the
Speaker 1: way I'm doing it it is more earned than the
Speaker 1: fucking way he wrote it. Because this is the first
Speaker 1: book in the series. We know nothing about the Avatar.
Speaker 1: There's no like when you get that scene. Exposition dumps
Speaker 1: are always kind of a dicey thing in fiction, right,
Speaker 1: it's an easy to make that kind of like shitty writing.
Speaker 1: Like you have to be very careful with it, and
Speaker 1: that's why we remember stuff like that scene in The
Speaker 1: Matrix because it's earned pretty well. But like a, you
Speaker 1: are as hungry for Neo for answers to those questions
Speaker 1: as as he is when we get to that point.
Speaker 1: This is just like, none of this is earned. I
Speaker 1: don't care what this old man has to say. He's
Speaker 1: done nothing to impress me. He has not set up
Speaker 1: that he knows. Again, even a slightly better version of
Speaker 1: this would have, like their be a conflict that he's solved,
Speaker 1: maybe like the one that we get in the religion war,
Speaker 1: and then you know we but even then, I'm not
Speaker 1: that interested in this old man but either.
Speaker 2: I mean, so far, all that he has done is irritate. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's irritated cost a young man is job. Yeah, he's
Speaker 2: basically going to get this man fired all to do
Speaker 2: like a thing where he's like, oh, thanks for the package, here,
Speaker 2: I give it to you now. And now he's trying
Speaker 2: to convince him that he's smart, and it's, uh, I
Speaker 2: don't know. It's like he's missing the whole part of
Speaker 2: the matrix where there was like fucking thirty minutes of
Speaker 2: movie before that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so they start this very irritating conversation where the
Speaker 1: avatar asks do you believe in God? And the delivery
Speaker 1: guy says, yeah, I believe in a god. Of course
Speaker 1: there must be a god. Not because he believes in
Speaker 1: a god, but because he thinks that he's an old
Speaker 1: man and he wants reassurance about the afterlife. So the
Speaker 1: avatar then is like, do you think God is omnipotent
Speaker 1: and you know he has free will and that people
Speaker 1: have free will? And the guy's like, yeah, sure, And
Speaker 1: then the avatar says the question that I don't know.
Speaker 1: Most people ask themselves when they're thirteen. If God knows
Speaker 1: what the future holds, then all our choices are already made,
Speaker 1: aren't they. Free will must be an illusion, he was clever,
Speaker 1: But I wasn't going to fall into that trap. God
Speaker 1: lets us determine the future ourselves using our free will,
Speaker 1: I explained. Then you believe God doesn't know the future,
Speaker 1: I guess not, I admitted, But he must prefer not knowing.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's not necessarily the case. Like again, I
Speaker 1: don't believe in an omniscient God. But if God is omniscient,
Speaker 1: he can let people make their own choices while also
Speaker 1: knowing the instant they make them where those choices go.
Speaker 1: Those are not actually in conflict.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Here's a good example of that. If you watch a baby,
Speaker 1: as many of us have, touch a hot burner on
Speaker 1: a stove. You know the baby's gonna hurt themselves, right,
Speaker 1: But they are still exercising their free will and touching
Speaker 1: that burner.
Speaker 2: That's right, and God is letting it happen. God, is
Speaker 2: that's the reason why my baby keeps burning herself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I tell her it's not me, it's God as I
Speaker 2: put her hand on the just kidding everyone, my baby.
Speaker 2: Don't hurt a baby.
Speaker 1: But I will say I can't not whenever I listen
Speaker 1: to these atheist arguments because I was raised Robert, don't.
Speaker 2: Hurt a baby, But no, I want to hear the butt.
Speaker 2: I'm here with it.
Speaker 1: I'm saying if you, if you are trying to make
Speaker 1: like an argument for the existence of God, and someone's
Speaker 1: counter argument is like, well, God can't be both all
Speaker 1: powerful and all knowing and give us free will? Like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: free will doesn't. Like your free will is not impacted
Speaker 1: by the fact that God knows what you're going to do.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean you don't have free will. It just
Speaker 1: means he knows what you're going to do, just like
Speaker 1: I know the kid reaching for the stove is about
Speaker 1: to touch it and get hurt, right, I haven't. I'm
Speaker 1: not impacting his free will by the fact that I
Speaker 1: know where this ends.
Speaker 2: You know also trying to figure out like the fucking
Speaker 2: like intricacies of the rules of God is some nerd.
Speaker 1: It's always it's always there. But this is like, I've
Speaker 1: had a lot of arguments with religious people over the years.
Speaker 1: This is a bad one from an atheist point of view.
Speaker 1: This does not make the point that you want it
Speaker 1: to make. Yeah, so, but this dude, the delivery man
Speaker 1: just folds and is like, Oh, I guess God can't
Speaker 1: know everything if people have free will, and I believe
Speaker 1: that people have free will. So the avatar asks for
Speaker 1: whose benefit does God withhold his power to determine the future? Well,
Speaker 1: it must be for his own benefit in ours too,
Speaker 1: I reasoned, he wouldn't have to settle for less. The
Speaker 1: old man pressed on, couldn't God just give humans the
Speaker 1: illusion of free will? We'd be just as happy if
Speaker 1: we had actual free will, and God would retain his
Speaker 1: ability to see the future. Isn't that a better solution
Speaker 1: for God than the one you suggested? Why would God
Speaker 1: want to mislead us? If God exists, his motives are
Speaker 1: certainly unfathomable. No one knows why he igrants free will,
Speaker 1: or why he cares about human souls or why pain
Speaker 1: and suffering are necessary parts of life. Actually, again, I
Speaker 1: hate that I'm ind the deficient decision now of like
Speaker 1: defending Christianity, But like libraries have been written of guys
Speaker 1: like this is a huge, huge part of apologetics is
Speaker 1: like the problem of like, you know, paying an evil
Speaker 1: and whatnot in the world. And again, Scott, if you
Speaker 1: wanted to make the smart argument to this, and you
Speaker 1: want to make this character seem smart, you could do
Speaker 1: fifteen seconds of googling to find like, what did you know?
Speaker 2: What did like C.
Speaker 1: S Lewis say about the problem of evil? Right? You
Speaker 1: don't even have to go to like a religious scholar,
Speaker 1: find another fucking hack writer. Sorry, guys, if you see
Speaker 1: s Lewis fans I loved him too as a kid.
Speaker 2: But find a C.
Speaker 1: S Lewis argument on this quote from that, and then
Speaker 1: your character seems smarter and you have something to bounce
Speaker 1: off of that's not a straw man, right, Like.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that Dilbert guy is not like a
Speaker 2: big reader of other guys. He wills guys who I
Speaker 2: think is just like, why would I need to read
Speaker 2: when all the smartest things are already written in my brain?
Speaker 1: If you were to tell him. Actually, a massive amount
Speaker 1: of like Catholic literature over the course of the last
Speaker 1: thousand years has like been people positing answers to those questions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he would just get angry you.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, yeah, you would yell at you and then say, oh,
Speaker 2: I guess you're trying to be woke.
Speaker 1: And then then you would tell him Turkey exists, and
Speaker 1: he was His brain would catch on fire.
Speaker 2: So fast in a skull. Once you learned about the
Speaker 2: existence of Turkey, this guy is gonna have a wow.
Speaker 1: And here's if you're If you're frustrated with me defending Christians,
Speaker 1: don't worry, I'm about to get to defend brain surgeons.
Speaker 2: So uh.
Speaker 1: He starts talking about love, and the delivery boy says,
Speaker 1: the one thing I know about God's motives that he
Speaker 1: must is he must love us, right, The avatar responds, love.
Speaker 1: Do you mean love and the way you understand it
Speaker 1: as a human? Well, not exactly, but basically the same
Speaker 1: thing I mean love is love. A brain surgeon would
Speaker 1: tell you that a specific part of the brain controls
Speaker 1: the ability to love. If it's damaged, people are incapable
Speaker 1: of love and capable of carrying about others.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I think a brain surgeon would say that the brain
Speaker 1: is pretty plastic and that people have suffered very traumatic
Speaker 1: brain injuries and retain their ability to love.
Speaker 2: Also they sometimes their personality shift.
Speaker 1: But like, I don't know, I don't think they'd phrase
Speaker 1: it that way if they were a good surgeon.
Speaker 2: This is like a guy who literally knows absolutely nothing
Speaker 2: about the human brain. But it's just like, no, brain
Speaker 2: is exactly like computer, you get rid of love program
Speaker 2: and then no more love. It's like not how a
Speaker 2: brain works.
Speaker 1: No, it's also like again, this is the dumb version
Speaker 1: of it, because he just did he doesn't even look
Speaker 1: up like what science there is chemically on what goes
Speaker 1: on when we experience what we call love. Again, the
Speaker 1: slightly smarter version of this is you like have some
Speaker 1: sort of little rant about how well the release of
Speaker 1: oxytocin in the brain is what causes what we call
Speaker 1: love and if you damage that then like people can't like.
Speaker 1: And that's not entirely accurate either, but it's at least
Speaker 1: slightly smarter than just the region of the brain. Yes, whatever,
Speaker 1: fuck you, Scott, Google something this isn't this isn't complicate
Speaker 1: We're not talking about jar or Tolkien writing a billion
Speaker 1: words of backstory in his fucking like Oxford office. We're
Speaker 1: talking like I'm talking about a region's probably Google for
Speaker 1: the name of that region of the brain. I want
Speaker 1: this guy to sound smart, right, let me let me
Speaker 1: look this up. Oh it turns out out anyway.
Speaker 2: Whatever, No fucking way that he is doing any research
Speaker 2: for this a book that he wrote in a conversation
Speaker 2: by himself, painting him as the smartest man in the world.
Speaker 1: I mean again, let's be real. You want to punch
Speaker 1: this up to be better. We're talking forty five minutes
Speaker 1: of extra research, not a lot. Do all Muslims believe
Speaker 1: the same thing? Oh, there's actually differences, but.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, no, but they have to get into and stuff.
Speaker 2: It's just trying to prepare propel a story forward and
Speaker 2: as a story about smart guy who uses fart joke
Speaker 2: to kill God.
Speaker 1: Smart guys fart joke kill God.
Speaker 2: Good stuff.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So isn't it arrogant to think that love
Speaker 1: is generated by our little in our little brains? Is
Speaker 1: the same thing in omnipotent being experiences. If you were omnipotent,
Speaker 1: why would you limit yourself to something that could be
Speaker 1: reproduced by a little clump of neurons. I shifted my
Speaker 1: opinion to better defend it. We must feel something similar
Speaker 1: to God's type of love, but not the same way
Speaker 1: God feels it. What does it mean to feel similar
Speaker 1: to the way God feels Is that like saying a
Speaker 1: pepple is similar to the son because both are around Again,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a pedant here, but there
Speaker 1: are different shapes of pebbles.
Speaker 2: Scott, pebbles are all over the map. They're all over
Speaker 2: the map. I've seen a lot.
Speaker 1: I saw a rectangular prism pebble the other day. You know,
Speaker 1: come on, Scott, Adam. Sorry, I am now being a pedant,
Speaker 1: but I hate him. He's irritating me. So maybe God
Speaker 1: designed our brains to feel love the same way he
Speaker 1: feels it. He could do that if he wanted to.
Speaker 1: So you believe God wants things and he loves things
Speaker 1: similar to the way humans do. Do you also believe
Speaker 1: God experiences anger and forgiveness. That's part of the package.
Speaker 1: I said, So God has a personality according to you,
Speaker 1: and is similar to what humans experience. I guess part
Speaker 1: of what's frustrating to me about this argument is that
Speaker 1: Scott repeatedly lets us know this delivery driver doesn't particularly
Speaker 1: believe what he's saying.
Speaker 2: He's just giving the answers.
Speaker 1: He thinks this guy wants to try to end the conversation,
Speaker 1: which means I have no investment in him being proved wrong.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: We have not established this character. We haven't established that
Speaker 1: he believes things in a certain way. So like the
Speaker 1: fact that it is he specifically notes like I just
Speaker 1: said this because I thought it was the right thing
Speaker 1: to say. I thought this would comfort him. I thought
Speaker 1: he would stop talking. That means like, I don't I
Speaker 1: get the slightly better version about this. If you want
Speaker 1: to do this whole religion plot line, have this avatar
Speaker 1: get fucking captured or something by a religious terrorist, or
Speaker 1: have him be you know, he's living in some sort
Speaker 1: of like dystopian world and he gets arrested by the
Speaker 1: religious police, and he asked like if he maybe if
Speaker 1: he could like convince you want to do this socratic dialogue.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying this is a good book, but it's
Speaker 1: a better one. You want to do this fucking socratic dialogue,
Speaker 1: Have him talk things out with this like, you know,
Speaker 1: religious extremist who's supposed to be torturing him over the
Speaker 1: course of a book and gradually change this guy's mind.
Speaker 1: And then this guy, you know, he can write out
Speaker 1: how he influences everyone else to change things, as opposed
Speaker 1: to like, well, this delivery driver has just told me
Speaker 1: he doesn't believe anything he's arguing. I am not invested
Speaker 1: in him having his mind changed because he doesn't believe
Speaker 1: any of these things.
Speaker 2: He's just like, yeah, he thinks he's doing a fucking
Speaker 2: dust Ievski here. That's the thing is he does think he'sky.
Speaker 2: He does he's doing a It's like a fucking Dilbert
Speaker 2: version of Dustaevsky, and it's it's incredibly hard to watch
Speaker 2: or to hear you read, because all I'm imagining is
Speaker 2: like like a wife looking over at Scott Adams. I
Speaker 2: don't know if he was married at this time.
Speaker 1: I think it was, yeah, because he hadn't gone, he
Speaker 1: hadn't had his spasmic dysphony or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like I mean, essentially just watching her Dilbert
Speaker 2: ass husband writing something that is a thousand times scarier
Speaker 2: to see as a wife. Then all work and no
Speaker 2: play makes Jack a dog like this is fucking.
Speaker 1: I would much rather walk in on my spouse like
Speaker 1: designing a truck bomb than to hear like I've decided
Speaker 1: to write a novel that's a Socratic dialogue that'll explain
Speaker 1: to everybody why religions not real.
Speaker 2: Just make a bomb, man, just make a bomb. Money. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll get some bottles and we'll do some Molotov cocktails.
Speaker 1: Just seeing then you've titled the word document God's Debris.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to die. Let's just go out. You know,
Speaker 1: fuck it, we have not.
Speaker 2: Given I think, sufficient attention to how fucking terrible of
Speaker 2: the title God's Debris is.
Speaker 1: Wait till you hear why that's the title. So I'm
Speaker 1: moving us ahead quite a while to God's Motivation, which
Speaker 1: is a few chapters ahead. If you were God, the
Speaker 1: avatar said, what would you want?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I barely know what I want, much less what God wants.
Speaker 1: Imagine that you are omnipotent. You could do anything, create anything,
Speaker 1: be anything. As soon as you decide you want something,
Speaker 1: it becomes reality. I waited, knowing there was more. He continued,
Speaker 1: does it makes it? You don't need to do that,
Speaker 1: Just give us the whole fucking line. We don't need
Speaker 1: that anyway. Whatever, Fuck you, Scott, Fuck you learn how
Speaker 1: to write, He continued, Does it make sense to think
Speaker 1: of God as wanting anything? God would have no motions,
Speaker 1: no fears, no desires, no curiosity, no hunger. Those are
Speaker 1: human shortcomings, not something that would be found in an
Speaker 1: omnipotent God. What would then motivate God? Maybe it's the challenge,
Speaker 1: the intellectual stimulation of creating things. Omnipotence doesn't mean nothing
Speaker 1: is or means that nothing is a challenge? And what
Speaker 1: could stimulate the mind of something one who knows everything.
Speaker 1: You make it sound almost boring to be God. But
Speaker 1: I guess you'll say boring is a human feeling. Everything
Speaker 1: that motivates living creatures is based on some weakness or flaw.
Speaker 1: Hunger motivates animals, Lust motivates. That tells us a lot
Speaker 1: that he's like. Lust motivates is a flaw in a weakness.
Speaker 2: H Scott. H Scott, No, like his wife reads that.
Speaker 2: He's just like, oh really, okay, all right, So that's
Speaker 2: why you won't fucking go down on me.
Speaker 1: Look, obviously there are some people, you know. Not everyone's
Speaker 1: motivation is sexual, But for people who are lust is
Speaker 1: like one of the you know, there's people can take
Speaker 1: it negative ways, but like being attracted to someone and
Speaker 1: following for them is nice. Most of us don't see
Speaker 1: that as like, ah my weakness.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, no, it's a natural and you know, if
Speaker 2: you want to be weird about it serves a purpose.
Speaker 2: But yeah, fucking mostly just like natural and fune.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fun, it's it's this is it is like
Speaker 1: low key again as much of an as an atheist
Speaker 1: influencers as that's extremely catholic, right, Well, of course when
Speaker 1: we're lustful, that that's a weakness. Are weak human bodies
Speaker 1: making us hard?
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, Yeah, very catholicarly catholic. It's just like an
Speaker 2: atheist though he's like, yeah, I'm a guy who doesn't
Speaker 2: believe in God who still punches his boner every time.
Speaker 1: One. Fear and pain motivate animals, and again that's also fun,
Speaker 1: Like I raise animals and like a lot of my
Speaker 1: you know, chickens are not smart animals, but it's not
Speaker 1: just fear and pain. For example, they they are capable
Speaker 1: of taking like comfort in each other's presence and like
Speaker 1: the warmth that they generate. You certainly see that with
Speaker 1: animals like goats, with like sheep, you know they are
Speaker 1: there's a degree of like tenderness that they have towards
Speaker 1: their young. They play like other animals play. It's been
Speaker 1: proven in fact that like cows, they produce more milk.
Speaker 1: They're generally healthier when they have not just other cows,
Speaker 1: but specific I'd like cows pick out other cows that
Speaker 1: they bond with, like it's described and yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: they're friends, like that is how it's described in like
Speaker 1: the literature studying this, that like cows just kind of
Speaker 1: have buds, and I think a lot of animals actually
Speaker 1: do that sort of thing, just like how basically every
Speaker 1: animal actually likes getting pet like many different animals surprising
Speaker 1: kinds of them if they get to experience getting scritched
Speaker 1: behind the ears or like this is pretty dope. That's
Speaker 1: not fear and pain, that's just like comfort, Like it's nice,
Speaker 1: it feels good.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm very much enjoying the idea that like,
Speaker 2: don't tell Scott yeah this because much like Turkey, it
Speaker 2: will explode his fucking mind when he finds out that
Speaker 2: there are cows with more friends than him.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, at way more friends.
Speaker 1: And by the way, having lived with cows for a
Speaker 1: chunk of my youth, I would much cows are a
Speaker 1: much nobler creature than the Scott Adams. But yeah, someone's
Speaker 1: going to show Scott that video of like a coyote
Speaker 1: and a badger hunting, and he's again his brain is
Speaker 1: going to spin out of his head.
Speaker 2: What if all that would have like stopped this degeneration
Speaker 2: of his brain was like some someone sends him some
Speaker 2: videos of animal best friends, like he could have we
Speaker 2: could have stopped you know, Dilbert from turning into the
Speaker 2: guy he did.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Fun, So it's tragic. If I had a time machine,
Speaker 2: I'd go back in time. I wouldn't kill Hitler. I
Speaker 2: would show him a duck being a best friend with
Speaker 2: a pig.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a duck and a pig hanging out. Yeah, or
Speaker 1: like yeah, one of those birds that like chills out
Speaker 1: on like the back of a crocodile's neck. Yeah, cleans
Speaker 1: it off. Like, no, it's not just fear and pain.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you're motivated by another thing that makes you feel good.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, anyway, it's because it's also like I
Speaker 1: don't know, I do actually reject what Scott is kind
Speaker 1: of in co compoinitely doing the idea that like, human
Speaker 1: beings and animals have like fundamentally wildly different motivations. Right,
Speaker 1: there's there's every now and then you get some asshole
Speaker 1: on like Twitter who will be like, oh, your cat
Speaker 1: and your dog don't love you. They just know that
Speaker 1: you provide like shelter and comfort and security, And it's like,
Speaker 1: why do you think we like each other? Exactly, as
Speaker 1: if like that's not a profound thing, taking comfort and
Speaker 1: feeling secure in the presence of another.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, nothing is there. Anyone could offer that to anyone,
Speaker 2: just willy nilly, just.
Speaker 1: Little robots making you know, the world bearable through their presence.
Speaker 2: And there's not fuck you for just being like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know what, the cat relationship is very transactional, like
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up, yeah, Jonah hill ass it's weaponizing
Speaker 2: therapy talk. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I fucking hate all these because again I am I
Speaker 1: am not a believer that human beings and animals are
Speaker 1: experiencing fundamentally different things. We just have words and animals
Speaker 1: have you know, I don't know whatever Echo the Dolphin
Speaker 1: is doing in that Echo the Dolphin video game anyway,
Speaker 1: whatever we could we could we trudge on? So what
Speaker 1: motivates God? Asks the delivery boy? Do you have an
Speaker 1: answer to that question? Or are you just yanking my chain?
Speaker 1: I can conceive of only one challenge for an omniptant,
Speaker 1: being the challenge of destroying himself. You think God would again,
Speaker 1: potentially an idea you can have some fun with in
Speaker 1: a sci fi book, right, the idea that like God. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also the way to make that fun is not
Speaker 1: spoiler God's debris as God murders himself at some point
Speaker 1: in the past and like now we're we're we're all
Speaker 1: living in like the shattered remnants of God trying to
Speaker 1: reconstruct himself. Right, that's what intelligence is. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think a more interesting version of that is, like you.
Speaker 2: Actually the Dilbert guy. Yeah, not written by the Dilbert guy.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You can do a lot with You could do a
Speaker 1: lot with the idea of like a God who maybe
Speaker 1: is playing different religions off of each other in order
Speaker 1: to like somehow kill himself, like trying to fit in
Speaker 1: like people uncover that mystery and you've got to I
Speaker 1: don't know, there's a fun like vaguely kind of fucking
Speaker 1: gnostic work of fiction that you can.
Speaker 2: Wear out of that where credit is due. Yeah, every
Speaker 2: I guess on average, it sounds like three hundred pages
Speaker 2: at Scott Adams writes, he writes one half good idea
Speaker 2: that he uses terribly. It's a guy who has uh,
Speaker 2: you know, the the In the last book it was
Speaker 2: a general who had a guy falling around with a
Speaker 2: gun to kill him if he ever gets too powerful.
Speaker 2: And in this one it's a fucking, I don't know,
Speaker 2: suicidal god who kills himself.
Speaker 1: Scott Adams is pretty good at coming up with half
Speaker 1: of a good idea. Like if he was a TV
Speaker 1: pitch man, you know, he'd be like.
Speaker 2: So this.
Speaker 1: So this therapist moves to Seattle, you know, from his
Speaker 1: from his old home on the East coast, and he,
Speaker 1: let me tell you, this guy hates the Irish.
Speaker 2: You think you don't like the Irish. Boy he's made.
Speaker 1: It cut out everything he said. After therapist moves to Seattle,
Speaker 1: we gotta banger, Adams, you did it again.
Speaker 2: Well he left out the whole thing where the the
Speaker 2: rolicks nose. He's got a drunk nose. You're gonna cut
Speaker 2: the hole. That's the whole point. I do want to
Speaker 2: see Scott Adams Fraser too.
Speaker 1: It is funny because like Fraser is basically a parody
Speaker 1: of the kind of guy Scott Adams is. But yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: very funny, good stuff, all right anyway, angel and yeah,
Speaker 1: and r I p Kelsey Grammar who died right after
Speaker 1: that show and has gone on to do nothing else.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you know he played Beast.
Speaker 1: He did play that was actually really I I always
Speaker 1: thought was good cast.
Speaker 2: I thought it was a great choice. It was like,
Speaker 2: its a good beast. Yeah, it's a good beast.
Speaker 1: Although I having seen the hell Boy movies too, I
Speaker 1: kind of want to see David Hyde Pierce's beast. I
Speaker 1: know he didn't wind up being the but he's I
Speaker 1: think he could have done it. I think he would
Speaker 1: have been great. Ah, I love me. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: not excited about the trade. The Fraser reboot.
Speaker 2: Is that, like, what there's a Fraser reboot? Yeah, they're
Speaker 2: doing a reboot.
Speaker 1: He's back in Chicago, I think it is, or not Chicago,
Speaker 1: and where the fuck he came from?
Speaker 2: I think he's back the Seattle is where he's at.
Speaker 1: Seattle's where he's at. But when the Fraser series ended
Speaker 1: he was moving to Chicago, I think, and I think
Speaker 1: this this new one's supposed to start with him leaving
Speaker 1: Seattle back for Boston. For like the next where is
Speaker 1: the Cheers Bar? It's in Boston, Like presumably we might
Speaker 1: see it. Okay, I think they did film something at
Speaker 1: part of the episode there, although maybe I'm getting that wrong.
Speaker 1: But like my frustration with the show idea is that,
Speaker 1: like I think, because this is all Kelsey Grammar's baby,
Speaker 1: it's been confirmed that like David Hyde Pierce isn't back.
Speaker 1: You know, it's him and a new cast of characters,
Speaker 1: and I think they've like convinced themselves that, well what
Speaker 1: we all the core of the show was always Fraser,
Speaker 1: and you know we can always have we can just
Speaker 1: move him to It's like no, no, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: was a fun side character in Fraser. We were there
Speaker 1: because of Martin and Niles. Like that is that is
Speaker 1: what brought our asses into the honest Edie and Edie
Speaker 1: great dog actor man that's also look up fucking uh
Speaker 1: what's his name? The guy the Fraser actor. He gets
Speaker 1: so angry when people call the dog an actor because
Speaker 1: he's like, it's just memorized the series of tricks.
Speaker 2: Like, that's not what acting is. Let's be real. Acting
Speaker 2: is memorizing a series of tricks. Cry, look hawk, I
Speaker 2: get it, speaking of a series of tricks. H it's
Speaker 2: time for some ads. Oh I love ads, Thank you,
Speaker 2: thank you so do I.
Speaker 1: Ah, we're back. We're thinking about how disappointing the Fraser
Speaker 1: reboot's gonna be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, doesn't have any of our favorite characters, and in fact,
Speaker 2: the few of them are no longer with us.
Speaker 1: Scott is promising in this terrible book about God to
Speaker 1: wrinkle our brains and like spin them around, uh pleasantly.
Speaker 1: Whereas the biggest shock to my mind, the thing that
Speaker 1: like most like shook my fundamental belief of about reality,
Speaker 1: was hearing that Martin from Fraser was played by a
Speaker 1: British man. What yeah, oh man, Yeah, that accent is
Speaker 1: all like acting. Not one break. There's not a second
Speaker 1: in that show where you don't believe he's a fucking
Speaker 1: street smart cop from the fucking working class Seattle neighborhood.
Speaker 1: It's amazing, crazy, Oh my god, it's so cool.
Speaker 2: British people are really good at doing the accent. I
Speaker 2: really yeah, we just yeah, I can't do that. It's
Speaker 2: like in reverse. It wouldn't work. I could never be
Speaker 2: on peaky blinders, you know.
Speaker 1: No, no, nor.
Speaker 2: Can I.
Speaker 1: Em hul voice hlorious boy, he boasting not you will
Speaker 1: put doctor as big as a house saw him.
Speaker 2: That's what that shows about. He's a very big doctor. Boy.
Speaker 1: I bet that we probably lost about a third of
Speaker 1: the audience with that little spree of accent work.
Speaker 2: Zvie shows up just shaking and livid, furious. Let's continue,
Speaker 2: Let's finish this last bit of Scottish we got to finish.
Speaker 1: Through flawless logic that we're all totally convinced of. Scott
Speaker 1: has gotten us to believe that all the only reasonable
Speaker 1: thing for God to want to do is commit suicide.
Speaker 1: You think God would want to commit suicide, I asked.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying he wants anything. I'm saying it's the
Speaker 1: only challenge I think that God would prefer to exist,
Speaker 1: then not to exist. That's thinking like a human, not
Speaker 1: like a god. You have a fear so like I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to say what God thinks, but you're thinking
Speaker 1: like a human, not like a god. And I know
Speaker 1: how a God would think. You have a fear of death.
Speaker 1: So you assume God would share your preference. But God
Speaker 1: would have no fears. Existing would be a choice, and
Speaker 1: there would be no pain of death, nor feelings of
Speaker 1: guilt or remorse or loss. Those are human feelings, not
Speaker 1: God feelings. God could simply choose to discontinue existence. There's
Speaker 1: a logical problem here, according to your way of thinking.
Speaker 1: I said, if God knows the future, he already knows
Speaker 1: if he will choose to end his existence, and he
Speaker 1: knows how he will succeeded it. So there's no challenge there.
Speaker 1: Either you're thinking is getting clearer. Yes, he will know
Speaker 1: the future of his own existence. I know normal conditions,
Speaker 1: But what do his omnipotence include knowing what happens after
Speaker 1: he loses his omnipotence or what his knowledge? This is
Speaker 1: again all like, I'm high with my fucking dealer and
Speaker 1: he won't stop talking to me.
Speaker 2: All like, I'm getting anxiety because I'm like, bro, you're
Speaker 2: definitely fired, You're definitely fined. Yeah, no, you're losing.
Speaker 1: It's okay. He becomes the avatar. That's what this avatar
Speaker 1: is doing, is he's pilling this guy to make.
Speaker 2: An asplaining that to your fucking manager. Oh okay, I
Speaker 2: was late because I became the avatar.
Speaker 1: I became the embodiment of all human knowledge and potential. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I missed my last like dozen deliveries.
Speaker 2: Bra Like, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm God shure
Speaker 2: himself real fucked up. Yeah. Did you hear the thing
Speaker 2: where God did suicides to himself?
Speaker 1: God and Hitler both both did a suicide. Hitler, who
Speaker 1: is not that bad in this version of the future
Speaker 1: because another guy didn't even worse genocide of.
Speaker 2: The Jews, Right, That's.
Speaker 1: Right, Hitler's in the number two in terms of genocides
Speaker 1: of Jewish people in this book.
Speaker 2: That's the way that Scott likes it. The way Scott
Speaker 2: likes some of this way off of Hitler. You know
Speaker 2: this guy, I think we've been misjudging him a little bit.
Speaker 2: Let him rest in peace.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make a worse Hitler and he's Muslim, Yeah
Speaker 1: much kind of Muslim, all of them.
Speaker 2: All of them, But you know, fucking I don't care
Speaker 2: if they're the shit one or the Sun one. The
Speaker 2: point is they all worship.
Speaker 1: The wrong God, which is the dead God committed suicide.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to skip ahead to the end here
Speaker 1: the chapter called fifth level? Who are you?
Speaker 2: I asked.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to phrase the question lightly. The
Speaker 1: old man certainly wasn't normal. I'm an avatar? Is that
Speaker 1: some sort of title? I thought it was your name.
Speaker 1: This man has never encountered the word avatar in his
Speaker 1: life the first time? Yeah, yeah, I never watched that
Speaker 1: cartoon or this is where I learned the word avatar
Speaker 1: from when I was eleven, played Avatar or played Eldar
Speaker 1: in third edition Warhammer forty thousand.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I learned it from you know, forums where you
Speaker 2: know you had a fucking you have a forum avatar, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: and so you have an avatar common word.
Speaker 1: Yeah, excuse me for asking this, The delivery guy asks,
Speaker 1: I don't really know how to phrase it, so I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna come out and say it. You want to
Speaker 1: know if I'm human? Yeah, I apologize. Because of all
Speaker 1: of his brilliance, he can't possibly be a mortal man.
Speaker 1: I apologize if that sounds silly, It's just that the
Speaker 1: old man waved off the end of my sentence. I understand. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am human. I'm a fifth level human. An avatar.
Speaker 1: Fifth level, he doesn't doesn't even get another feet yet.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. You can't even do two attacks if he's
Speaker 1: like a melee class.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy's barely got any XP and he thinks
Speaker 2: he's a fucking genius.
Speaker 1: What a what bullshit bullshit loser. Yeah, you can't even
Speaker 1: cat like I guess. Actually, if you're a wizard in
Speaker 1: three point five, you can cast fireball now, so that
Speaker 1: is that is when things start to get fun at
Speaker 1: fifth level is a wizard.
Speaker 2: So there you go. Get a little too nerdy for
Speaker 2: me there, buddy. But you know, I've seen a vagina
Speaker 2: before I find myself. That's good, that's good.
Speaker 1: It is very funny that we've turned around from like
Speaker 1: D and D being a thing that like people shoved
Speaker 1: me into lockers when they noticed my D and D
Speaker 1: books in middle school to like people getting laid dropping
Speaker 1: D and D knowledge these days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can DM a campaign one. Yeah amazing. I've
Speaker 2: decided to stick with the bullying thing now because now
Speaker 2: it feels like I'm bullying the mainstream culture. I'm even
Speaker 2: ahead of you. I'm bullying people fork in comic books.
Speaker 1: Yes, like I see somebody like an iron Man and
Speaker 1: I just shove him and a lot of times that
Speaker 1: guy is three hundred pounds of solid muscle, and let
Speaker 1: me tell you, I get the shit kicked out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I still out of ten. But the point is,
Speaker 2: as you stood up to the big corporation.
Speaker 1: A lot of huge dudes who are into comics and
Speaker 1: better at fighting than they actually Yeah, it's become a problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sucks that they all teamed up with like
Speaker 2: the MMA guys. So they're all fucking doing keeto and
Speaker 2: lifting and reading iron Man and I'm sitting here like
Speaker 2: a lump, just going like fuck you, just thinking.
Speaker 1: In new ways to call them dorks. Yeah, oh, I
Speaker 1: bet you like it when people combine three colors in
Speaker 1: a variety of ways to make a panopoly of color
Speaker 1: in a print medium.
Speaker 2: Huh you need Yeah? Got him?
Speaker 1: So he's a fifth level avatar. People exist at different
Speaker 1: levels of awareness, and avatar, who's one who lives at
Speaker 1: the fifth level? Is awareness? Like intelligence? I asked, no,
Speaker 1: Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within
Speaker 1: your level of awareness. Your intelligence will stay about the
Speaker 1: same over your life. Awareness is entirely different from intelligence.
Speaker 1: Awareness involves recognizing your delusions, for what they are. Most
Speaker 1: people's awareness will advance one or two levels in their lifetime.
Speaker 1: What does it mean to recognize your delusions? When you
Speaker 1: were a child, did your parents tell you that Santa
Speaker 1: Claus brought presents so on Christmas Day? Yeah, I said,
Speaker 1: I believed in Santa until kindergarten when the other kids
Speaker 1: started talking. Then I realized Santa couldn't get to all
Speaker 1: those homes in one night. Your intelligence did not change
Speaker 1: from the moment you realize that Santa Claus was a
Speaker 1: harmless fantasy. Your math and verbal skills stayed the same,
Speaker 1: but your awareness increased. You were some suddenly aware that
Speaker 1: stories from credible sources, in this case your parents, could
Speaker 1: be completely made up. And from the moment of that
Speaker 1: realization you could never see the world the same way
Speaker 1: because your reality had changed. I guess it did. And
Speaker 1: in school, did you learn that the Native Americans and
Speaker 1: Pilgrims go, oh, boy, Scott, I don't want you dig
Speaker 1: it diving in it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he does. He does.
Speaker 1: To be fair, He's like, yeah, this was made up.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: You learned that a bunch of your history is made up.
Speaker 1: Awareness is about unlearning. It's the recognition that you don't
Speaker 1: know as much as you thought you did. He described
Speaker 1: what he called the five levels of awareness and said
Speaker 1: that all humans experience the first level of awareness at birth.
Speaker 1: That's when you become aware that you exist. In the
Speaker 1: second level of awareness, you understand that other people exist.
Speaker 1: You believe that most of what you were told by
Speaker 1: authority figures. You accept the belief system in which you
Speaker 1: were raised. Also, Scott doesn't really get little kids here,
Speaker 1: because like it's a little bit messier than that, because
Speaker 1: kids definitely believe you at some point. But also little
Speaker 1: kids have a period where like the only thing they
Speaker 1: want to say is no, and like reject everything you
Speaker 1: tell them. Like that's why touching a hot burner is
Speaker 1: kind of inevitable. Every kid will have some version of
Speaker 1: that experience pretty much. It's not always a burner, but
Speaker 1: like because you don't listen to what the adults tell you,
Speaker 1: because that's part of anyway.
Speaker 2: Whatever, dude, this is a full grown man writing.
Speaker 1: This is a full grown man. I'm skipping the other levels.
Speaker 1: The fifth level of awareness is the Okay, the fourth
Speaker 1: level awareness is skepticism, So all right, I guess I
Speaker 1: should continue. The third level of awareness is that like
Speaker 1: human beings are wrong sometimes, but you can still believe
Speaker 1: in God. The fourth level is when you become an
Speaker 1: atheist on the internet and you believe that the scientific
Speaker 1: method is the best measure of what's true, and you
Speaker 1: have a good working grasp of truth thanks to science
Speaker 1: and your senses. You are arrogant when it comes to
Speaker 1: dealing with people in levels two and three. That also
Speaker 1: says a lot, because like it's certainly true that like
Speaker 1: little kids, babies and stuff are aware unaware of things
Speaker 1: that we're aware of, like the idea of like object
Speaker 1: permanence and stuff. Right, this is very basic shit. But
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not like arrogant about them. It's I
Speaker 1: think it's amazing. Actually, I got to watch the other day.
Speaker 1: I got to have this amazing moment where like there's
Speaker 1: this little baby that is effectively a roommate of mine occasionally,
Speaker 1: and you know, like on like a floor mat for
Speaker 1: doing yoga, I have these ones that like you can
Speaker 1: fit a bunch of them together like puzzle pieces. So
Speaker 1: they have these little inns that you can put on
Speaker 1: them that are shaped like zippers, like little like foam
Speaker 1: zippers three or four feet long. And this baby that
Speaker 1: I hang out with noticed that the shape of the
Speaker 1: zipper was kind of similar to the silhouette of a train,
Speaker 1: and the baby started making chew chew sounds. And I'd
Speaker 1: never seen the baby exhibit sort of a capability of
Speaker 1: abstract thought before. It was like, watching this moment in
Speaker 1: development hand happen, I was just like yeah, more yeah,
Speaker 1: instead of like I was not filled with arrogance, like
Speaker 1: look at this dumb baby. It was like, Wow, there's
Speaker 1: like the sense of wonder, of almost religious awe at,
Speaker 1: like watching a brain like change over, Like it's beautiful. Actually,
Speaker 1: I think that's why people like being parrots, you know.
Speaker 1: But now everyone's just like, look at these shitty ass kids.
Speaker 1: They don't know fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all great, I have a fucking idiot. Yes, he
Speaker 2: thinks the zipper as a train. Yeah, doesn't even know
Speaker 2: how to cook an omelet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, drink your bottle, baby, anyway. So the fourth level
Speaker 1: of skepticism, the fifth level of awareness is the avatar.
Speaker 1: The avatar understands that the mind is an illusion generator.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I love he's straight up. Just like fourth
Speaker 2: level is atheist because why because that's one away from
Speaker 2: super genius. Yeah, that's one away. Yeah, once atheist, you
Speaker 2: are only one level away from being so smart that
Speaker 2: you can talk to animals.
Speaker 1: And yeah, the avatar recognized the science is just another
Speaker 1: belief system. YadA, YadA, YadA. Anyway, this is all like
Speaker 1: second grade philosophy. Shit, that's uh, that's everything Scott Adams
Speaker 1: believes about the universe.
Speaker 2: Matt Lee, how are you feeling? I mean, honestly, I'm
Speaker 2: feeling kind of like amazed and embarrassed for him, like like,
Speaker 2: because part of me is realized. Like halfway while you
Speaker 2: were describing the levels, I was like, all, fuck, he
Speaker 2: was attempting an l Ron Hubbard thing, Like he thought
Speaker 2: for a second it might be possible that he could
Speaker 2: do a hubbard esque rift and religious Yes, that's what
Speaker 2: he's doing. And I was just thinking to myself, like, fuck,
Speaker 2: that has got to be It's got to be really
Speaker 2: embarrassing to like begin the process of writing your own
Speaker 2: dianetics but then realize you're too fucking stupid to do it.
Speaker 2: So instead you invent a guy. You make it fiction,
Speaker 2: and you invent a guy who's this you label the
Speaker 2: smartest guy in the world, and then he says all
Speaker 2: the things that you thought of as your religion, Like
Speaker 2: that is I mean, you know, it's uh, it's great writing,
Speaker 2: it's great compelling story. Does it end with him eventually.
Speaker 1: Becomes the avatar, the avatar disappears, whatever, this guy is
Speaker 1: the new avatar, YadA YadA.
Speaker 2: YadA, avatar convincing the Delivery gotta suck his dick, because
Speaker 2: that's kind and what I would use it for.
Speaker 1: This would be one of my favorite books if like
Speaker 1: it was. The review at the end was that he
Speaker 1: was just trying to fuck just Delivery. Now you get
Speaker 1: to hit you're a fourth level now after her socratic dialogue,
Speaker 1: but to hit fifth gotta my dick, you gotta.
Speaker 2: Set my dick. Honestly, if it had gone that level,
Speaker 2: I would have been like, dude, maybe this is this
Speaker 2: is the best novel.
Speaker 1: This is like, yeah, he's fuck Dostoyevski up in here
Speaker 1: of a modern era.
Speaker 2: Absolutely choose this way of doing the story. You might
Speaker 2: as well start it off with like a guy comes
Speaker 2: over to fix the cable or clean the pool, like
Speaker 2: you're starting it off on a porno premise. You're not
Speaker 2: gonna end it.
Speaker 1: That would be That would be so and the next
Speaker 1: and then it's thirty pages.
Speaker 2: Of hardcore pornography that would.
Speaker 1: Like he is like walking you through Like how when
Speaker 1: this when the avatar busts in this delivery boy's mouth,
Speaker 1: he gets that first taste of salt. That's the first
Speaker 1: experience and it takes him back to being a child
Speaker 1: seeing the coast for the first time, the spray of
Speaker 1: the ocean in his face, transported through time by the
Speaker 1: taste of the avatars. Come, Matt, you have anything to plug?
Speaker 2: Oh dude, you know if you like come, you're gonna
Speaker 2: love pod yourself a gun, which is a Sopranos and
Speaker 2: the Wire Rewatch podcast were gotten through all of the Sopranos,
Speaker 2: and now we're at season three of the Wire, so
Speaker 2: check it out. By the time you hear this, we
Speaker 2: may be starting season four, which is the best season. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you know, fucking follow me on Instagram at Matt
Speaker 2: Lee jokes. Oh right, I almost forgot. If you are
Speaker 2: in the San Francisco Bay Area or any of the
Speaker 2: surrounding areas, on Tuesday, October seventeenth, at eight pm, specifically,
Speaker 2: my wife Francesca, if Youreantini and I are going to
Speaker 2: be headlining the San Francisco Punchline Comedy Club, So yeah,
Speaker 2: please come out to that. It is a Tuesday at
Speaker 2: eight pm October seventeenth, where at Voice, my wife and
Speaker 2: I are going to be co headlining. There's going to
Speaker 2: be some other great comedians coming out. It's gonna be
Speaker 2: a lot of fun. You can get your tickets at
Speaker 2: Punchlinecomedyclub dot com and Yeah, October seventeenth, please come out.
Speaker 2: It's going to be so good. I swear to God.
Speaker 2: I mean, at the very least, you're going to get
Speaker 2: to see my wife and I kiss, like live on stage.
Speaker 2: It's a sex show. Anyways, come out to that.
Speaker 1: Follow Matt Leeb on the gram. Yeah, and the next
Speaker 1: time you see a person who believes a religion, tell
Speaker 1: them tell him a fart joke and a.
Speaker 2: Fart joke and then you'll end war.
Speaker 1: Yeah Yeah.
Speaker 3: Behind the Bastards is a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 3: For more from cool Zone Media, visit our website cool
Speaker 3: Zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.