WEBVTT - Part Two: God's Debris, by Scott Adams (with Matt Lieb) 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:08.000 Uh, I'm finishing my many taco from Trader Joe's OJS. 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:11.320 You know, sponsor us, dude, I wish. 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:14.360 That we could get sponsor protruders. I've never even seen 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.240 them like nod. 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:18.600 Because they gave all that money to the LAPD when 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:22.400 the LAPD opened fire wildly into one of their stores, 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:26.040 murdering an employee. Why can't we get some of that cash? 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:27.400 Oh yeah, Trader Joe's. 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.280 Was that in la Uh huh I remember that? 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.360 Yeah, there was like a criminal on the loose, and 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:36.040 the LAPD decided, you know what will help this situation, 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:40.320 emptying our ar fifteens into a glass storefront. And then 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.920 Trader Joe said, thanks guys, here's a donation. Matt Leeb, 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:49.879 what's the hull, Matt? This is part two. I don't 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.040 know if it'll be airing the same week or months later. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:54.640 We'll probably slot this in around Thanksgiving or some ship 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:57.880 when we've got some anyway, there we're doing a little. 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:01.040 Pinhitmry to be filler, put me down podcast sweeps week. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:03.160 I don't want anyone to hear this shit. 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.320 We're reading some books because I need a little bit 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.400 of a break. Well, actually, I just need to get 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.240 ahead up on production. I'm still writing episodes this week, 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.639 but this helps out. So I'm going to be reading 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:20.520 you a story, another little book, a canticle for Matt Lebowitz, 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:26.080 Matt Libowitz, I'm do you get my canticle for Lebelwitz, Joe. 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:27.480 It's not bad. 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:29.320 That's a pretty good little referenced. 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:35.880 There we go, thank you. I don't have the jar Jr. Soundboard. Uh, 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.280 it's just I got a new thing and now it's 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:40.440 just all kind of boring ones. So I won't be 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:42.720 doing it, you know what, because this is the in between. 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:46.120 Thetweens, and people are still people are still going to 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.120 be pedants. Someone's going to be like, actually, a canticle 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:51.280 is like a hymn or a psalm or something like that, 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:54.080 it's not a book, And to which I would say, 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:57.920 we're reading another Scott Adams book, and his prose is 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:01.760 both musical and holy, like the text of a psalm. 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:07.559 You know exactly. Yeah, what I was there to say, Matt, Matt, Matt, 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.320 Matt what So. 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:12.000 I was just out in between recording the first episode 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.760 on Scott's Terrible Novels in the second checking on my 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:17.440 goats because I castrated one of them the other day, 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:18.160 which I. 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:20.200 Wanted to hear more. I wanted to hear more about 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:21.600 why did you do that? 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:26.639 Well, you can't have too many bulls or whatever rams 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.400 with the testicles hanging out, like you don't really want 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.240 to have more than one because they'll like hurt each other, right, 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:34.639 And we're not going to breed this one. So he's 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:36.640 going to live a long, happy life, but he just 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:38.760 is not going to have testicles. It's like your cat, 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.359 right or you know, Like I had somebody get get 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:44.440 all unrey at me online about this. I'm like, I 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.520 don't know, man, like you do it to your animals, 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.280 Like if you have a pet, it's just like it's 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:51.280 not going to breed, it's going to get hurt, hurt anyway. 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:51.560 Whatever. 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.960 I don't care what people feel about it. What's interesting 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:55.200 to me about it is that the way we do 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:58.480 it is with rubber bands. Right, there's like a whole setup, 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.040 yeah where and you basically just kind of you know, 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.400 there's a little pain for an hour or so, and 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:06.120 then the nerves kind of deaden and then eventually the 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:07.240 test Like. 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.560 When BuzzFeed they'll do a live stream where they put 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.000 a bunch of rubber bands on a watermelon and they 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:13.760 keep putting it on until it explodes. 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.560 No, that would be a crime, I believe use we 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:20.440 use a specific device and specific rubber bands meant for castration. 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:23.239 But what's interesting to me about this, Matt, is that 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.960 the first real powerful moment that I had as a 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.400 young child on the internet. I think this occurred around 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.160 ninety nine, might have been his late as two thousand 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:36.480 and two thousand and one is I'm hanging out. I'm 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.880 sure I found it through something awful, and I wind 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:43.400 up on this web forum for gay men who are 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.400 in a very specific kind of I think you would say, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.720 like pro like dom sub relationship oka. And it was 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:53.920 a subset of these guys talking about auto castration, which 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.080 is how to castrate yourself. And they also used rubber 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.440 bands on themselves to kill their testicles and then eventually 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:04.160 remove them. And anyway, isn't it beautiful that as a 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.760 little boy I learned that about the world I read. 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.280 I spent hours. I didn't know why, but I spent 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:12.720 hours reading all of these detailed discussions about the best 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.480 way because these guys, there's not like there was like 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:18.400 a book how to castrate yourself right, like there was 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.960 I think people had back in the Catholic Church days 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:22.799 when you'd had to do it to like sing better. 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.160 People had learned a lot of this stuff, but I 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:26.839 think it was like an oral tradition. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.520 No, and also were probably in Latin too, so it's 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:31.480 like you got to learn Latin to learn how a 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.240 couple of round balls off? What is I thought this 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:34.719 was America. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.479 Much like in a canticle for Lebowitz. These people had 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:42.160 to rediscover, you know, the knowledge of the past. And 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.560 I spent hours and this is like I can remember 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:47.839 one time like reading just like I'm going through this 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:49.760 and stuff. It's like early on a Sunday morning, I've 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.040 gotten up early to check read the Internet. Before my 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:53.960 dad takes the dial up. We've got to like go 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:56.240 to church, and so I go to church. Just like 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:59.720 thinking about these descriptions of how men castrated themselves using 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:03.000 reb bands, which I love about the Internet. I credit 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:05.440 that with a lot of the you know, just learning 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:07.320 the vast had a lot. 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:11.320 Of sense that that is like an early memory for you. Powerful. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.880 It's weird how much that probably dictated where you're at 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:15.440 right now. 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:19.960 Yeah, absolutely, it had no impact on me castrating a goat. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:23.440 I did that because my neighbors who are more experienced 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:24.880 with this sort of thing do it that way. 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:26.560 Oh, I thought it was because it's just love of 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:26.960 the game. 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.080 You love the game. That's why I got that ABC tattoo. 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.400 Baby always be castraighting. 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.359 Yeah yeah, man, No, Like I was also like, I 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:38.599 feel like goatsy had a huge influence. Oh, absolutely, yeah. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.680 It just it showed me that humans are capable of 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.680 remarkable feats. 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:44.880 Humans are capable of remarkable feats. It also taught me 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.200 a lot about storytelling. If you go back to and 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.680 if you're not, if you're if you're young right, or 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:53.080 you just weren't terminally online goat See was like one 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.840 of the very first online memes, and it was really 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.640 the most influential early online meme. And the basics of 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:02.840 it is that it's a photo some fellow took with 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.960 a prolapsed rectum of himself bending over and spreading his 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:10.440 ass cheeks so that you can see what his prolapsed 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:15.160 rectum looks like. And it is biologically a fascinating photo. 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:17.880 And because it was just kind of like one of 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:21.400 the more horrifying I thin guess how most people found 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.799 it things being passed around the early Internet, it became 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:27.839 like a shorthand. For I am a very online person. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.600 The way you would express this shorthand is you would 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.920 trick people into looking at the picture of this man's 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.760 rectum by being like, Wow, there's a fire at the 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.599 power plant nearby. Check out this photo of it or 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:39.120 something like. 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.960 That, this hyperlink, you know, and then it would just 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:46.280 be goatsy guy stretching out his asshole hello wide, yeah, 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:48.200 and you'd be like, oh no, not again. 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:50.520 All of these different bits of Internet culture when they 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:54.560 come down to normies, right, they get sort of softened. 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:58.359 Like the softening of Goatsy was rickrolling right, yeah, you know, 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.360 it's just a video this bad song, right, instead of 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.720 this man's like confounding anus. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.200 Yeah. Well, to be fair, the guy doing Goatsy was 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:09.000 Rick Astley. 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:09.640 Yeah. 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.960 That's why he's got the ass right in there right there. 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:14.520 The name. 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:16.480 That's good. That's good stuff. 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.760 Well, it's also fun because I think Goatsy taught me 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.000 everything that you really need to know about good storytelling 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.800 right open obviously you want to grab them right away, 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:29.960 and that prolapsed rectum is like a great intro paragraph. Right, 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:32.560 you're immediately in the story, but you also want to 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.360 you want to set up like mysteries, you want to 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.520 set up aspects of the plot they're going to be 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:40.600 relevant later, because that's just kind of satisfying as a reader. 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.120 And the goats Sy version of that is this dude's 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.040 got a wedding ring right now, Like we don't know 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:45.440 much of. 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:46.920 It, but we know there's we know there's. 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:51.440 A story going on with right, Yeah, somewhere behind the scenes, 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:53.360 right and maybe you know, maybe one day we'll find 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:54.560 the answer to that mystery. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.160 We know that he took a valve before God, and 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.600 we know that you know, he's got shiny hands, so 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:02.840 you know that he's also safe when he's tearing his 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:03.680 asshole aside. 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:07.440 Absolutely, absolutely, he's careful, he cares. There's a whole world 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.880 implied in Goatsy. Speaking of people who created a whole world, 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:16.720 I want to talk about the peerless fictional crafting of 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:17.720 Scott Adams. 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.640 Now, oh yes, the Goatsy of the comic book, the 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:26.320 Coatsy of the comic book world right, the prolapsed anus 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.560 of modern discourse. 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:32.960 Yeah, I did one of my favorites. So there's this 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:37.240 thing in Vegas, the the Madison Square Garden sphere, which 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:39.679 is you've seen pictures of it all people are doing 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.120 it as like my favorite post about it is like, 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.400 you know, somebody posts like a picture of it looking 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.440 like an eyeball and was like, can't wait till someone 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.800 hacks this and we get to watch mister Hans die 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:55.440 on it. And again, if you're not an old internet had, 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.480 Mister Hands is a man who was part of a 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:03.000 gang of Zoo files who would regularly meet up in Washington, 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:06.760 I believe, and like molest a horse, and one day 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:08.640 the horse fucked him and he died as a result 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:10.800 of it. For reasons I shouldn't need to explain. 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.520 Biological and we can all put that together, and I 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:14.040 think you can anyway put it together. 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.320 It wound up. He was like a congressional aid or 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.040 some shit. He had some job in government. It was 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:19.880 like a weird or he was like a contractor. I 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:21.960 think he was like a so he he was. It 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:23.120 was like a whole black thing. 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.400 Yeah, it was. It was wild. 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.600 There's a documentary about it called Zoo that is very 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:30.960 uncomfortable to watch, but we'll give you the whole story. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:35.160 There's also a movie semi about it called The Death 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:38.679 of Dick Long and you must watch it that I 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.680 haven't seen. But my god, I wish I hadn't said 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.719 anything in fact, but now you should see this movie. 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.160 It's one of the greatest movies ever. 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.920 Now I have decided that if I ever get to 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:53.040 set up like my canticle for Lebowitz style, like like 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.920 hidden you know, a reservoir of human knowledge for people 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.959 after the apocalypse to rebuild society, you know, my version 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.440 of the foundation. Actually it's just gonna be Zoo and 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.120 that other movie. That's all they need. 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:08.920 That's all they'll need to know. What was this culture 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.160 about guy's getting fucked up by the guys were getting 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:18.360 fucked up by horses? To hard I guess you know, hey, 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:19.160 to each their own is. 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.880 Said, we're delaying the start of God's Debris. Now we 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.280 read The Religion War last time, which is actually the 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.680 sequel to God's Debris, but God's Debris takes place after 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.240 the Religion War. I didn't do this for any artistic reason. 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.840 I did it because if Scott has any sort of 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.080 pride at all as a writer, then he was very 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.680 intentional in having these books set the way they are, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.640 and I don't like Scott or respect him, so fuck him. 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:45.319 Yeah yeah, now, welcome to death, like that horse did 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:45.840 to mister. 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:47.880 Hands, like that hosted to mister Hands. Now I feel 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.920 like I should start with noting that on the inside 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.760 of this book we get the author's websites, So we 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:57.400 get Dilbert dot com. Fine, dil burrito dot com, which 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.760 is the burrito that he made that was an instant 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:03.600 failure because it made people shit themselves half to death 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:04.760 and tasted horrible. 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.640 And then the yeah, oh you didn't know about the Delta. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:11.120 We talked about it in the episode. 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:14.640 Yeah, he made a vitamin pill that was a burrito 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:15.760 and it was horrible. 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:20.040 Oh my god, God bless him, God bless aurial spirit. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:24.200 And then he started a restaurant called Stacy's Cafe, which 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.200 is the name of the cafe the super Genius works at. Yeah, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:30.360 he's got that rep that website on here too good 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.439 to see how all of Scott's projects worked. So introduction. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:38.040 This is not a Dilbert book. It contains no humor. 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:43.520 Those two are not exclusive Scott. I call it one 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.160 hundred and thirty two page thought experiment wrapped in a 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.960 fictional story. I'll explain the thought experiment part later. God's 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:53.320 Debris doesn't fit into normal publishing cubby holes. There's here's 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:54.679 the bit I was telling you about last time. There's 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.479 even disagreement about whether the material is fiction or nonfiction. 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.680 I contend that it's fiction because the characters don't exist. 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.480 Some people contend that it's nonfiction because the opinions and 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:07.080 philosophies of the characters might have lasting impact on the reader. Again, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.319 like eighty percent definition. 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:11.720 Not the definition of fiction and nonfiction. 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.440 So many of the most influential tech weirdos in the 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:18.160 country's entire version like vision of reality is based on 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:22.280 misinterpreting Doune Like yeah, like that's like what fiction is for. 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.839 But okay, okay, Scott kind of shitting on the entire 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:26.679 craft of fiction. 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:27.360 But fine. 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.079 The target audience for God's Debris people who enjoy having 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:35.320 their brains spun around inside their skulls. After a certain age, 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.720 most people are uncomfortable with new ideas, like, for example, 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:43.160 the existence of turkey. That certain age varies by person, 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.160 but if you're over fifty five, mentally you. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.360 Won't enjoy this. Get your brain spun Wait to hear 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:54.160 about Sunnis and Shia's yeah, good, Yes, dude, that's gonna 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:55.280 fuck you up. 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.199 That certain age varies by person, but if you're over 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.319 fifty five minute, you probably won't enjoy this thought experiment. 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.199 If you're eighty going on thirty five, you might like it. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.960 If you're twenty three, your odds of liking it are 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:08.760 very good. 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:12.760 Yeah, this is how you sell to this demographic. By 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:14.960 the way, he's got it down to a t. Yeah, 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.840 you got it right at the beginning of your book. Hey, 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:21.199 if you're young, this is cool, and for you it's 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.720 want to smoke cigarettes. And then you say, if you're old, 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.360 you're not gonna get this. Parents just don't understand why, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.640 my shit, that guy gets it. Man. That's why Dilbert 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.960 is a big hit with the kids these days. God. 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.240 There's so much in here too, just about like his 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.520 belief system because he's like so the story central characters 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:43.240 of you about God that you've probably never heard before. 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:45.760 If you think you'd be offended by a fictional characters 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.440 on traditional view of God, please don't read this. The 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.160 opinions in philosophy here's the best part. The opinions in 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.199 philosophies expressed by the characters are not my own except 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:57.040 by coincidence, and a few spots not worth mentioning. Pease, 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.680 please don't write me with passionate explanations of why my 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.959 views they're wrong. You won't discover my opinions by reading 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:05.600 my fiction. I beg to differ, Scott. I think I 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:07.839 think we might have picked out a couple of opinions. 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:11.920 We made it pretty clear that you are very It's 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:13.760 you know you can read him like a book, which 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:18.440 is ironic here. I love this. I love the idea 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.520 every single book so far that you've read, uh starts 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.680 out with the sales pitch to the demographic and or 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:25.800 the publisher, and. 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:27.960 Which is I do love the idea of like, if 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.680 every author did this, if Tolkien's like you might not 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:32.600 think a little guy who lives in a hole is 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:33.480 very interesting. 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.840 But let me tell you about this habit he learned. 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.560 Tell you about it. If you're just an old fogy, 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.160 you're not really going to understand this. But if you're 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.840 a kid, holy shit, hold on your brains because it's 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:47.400 about to get spun around. 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.640 If you or if you're over fifty five, you probably 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:53.520 think it's okay to craft a series of magical rings 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.480 that allow you to dominate the minds of entire races. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:02.040 But let me tell you something, it's not. Yeah, oh man, 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:05.640 I love it too, because it's not fiction, because the 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:09.440 ideas of crafting the magical ring have been like thought 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.400 about in a nonfiction world. It is you know what 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.840 I mean? Is that not what Hitler was trying to do. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.000 I want to give Frank Herbert's version of this. I 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.840 bet you guys think that fears good. No, no, no, 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:24.000 let me tell you it's the mind killer. You know, 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:32.880 it's like, does me a little bit to be honest? Yeah, okay. 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:36.720 The central character in God's Debris, that's the avatar, knows everything, 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.440 literally everything. This presented a challenge to me as a 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:41.720 writer when you consider all of the things that can 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.000 be known. I don't know much. My solution was to 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:47.640 create smart sounding answers using the skeptics creed. The simplest 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.400 explanation is usually right. 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:54.040 You know, why is he doing this? Why is he 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.720 explaining literally every aspect of this? He knows. 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.120 The key to good writing is tell, and it no 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.160 point show. Don't even write a novel, just tell people what. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.720 They should tell. Yeah, Oh my god, so funny. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.160 Like Also, so, the simplest explanation in that last book 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:13.520 was that you can stop people from believing in all 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.360 of their faiths with a single joke. 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.400 With a with a heart joke that goes viral. 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:22.160 That's the simplest explanation. You might be getting Okham's Razor wrong. 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.600 Yeah, I don't think he understand Sokham's Razor, but it's 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:31.600 you know, for him. I'm glad he's like almost humble 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.840 because he's just like, you know, listen, I'll admit that 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.480 I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.080 get around that fallacy. I get around that by like 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:46.000 saying smart things like fart joke can save people by 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:49.480 making them not believing God yeah, fart joke, brain big. Yeah, 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:50.760 fart joke, brain big. 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.960 That's that is. I'm gonna get on good Reads and 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:55.640 review this. 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:00.880 Brain big joke. 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.680 Now, man, So this does the chapter one for this 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.600 has the same name as if you were to do 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.400 a book about mister Hands the package. 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.960 Oh, here we go. That's pretty good. That's not bad, 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:12.400 not bad. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.800 Put that joke in our canticle for Lebowitz Storehouse of 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:19.480 Human Achievement. Yeah, the rain made everything sound different. The 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.640 engine of my delivery van. The traffic is it rolled 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.439 by in a film of fallen clouds, the occasional dull honk. 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:26.840 I didn't have a great job, but it wasn't bad either. 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:28.760 I knew the city so well that I could lose 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.040 myself in thought and still do the work, still get paid, 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.000 still have plenty of time for myself. So he's a 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.360 delivery man. That's our character. He's about to go meet 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:39.080 the avatar. He's gonna drop a package off. YadA YadA, YadA, 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:39.760 YadA YadA. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:40.480 Oh wow. 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:42.440 There is a fun bit about driving in San Francisco 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:44.080 here where he's like, if you think too hard, you 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:45.800 ever shoot your target and end up at the pier 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.360 the tinderloind. If you relax and let the city help, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.080 the destination does all the work for you. I don't know, man, 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:53.280 I've driven a lot in San Francisco. It's actually pretty 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:55.600 hard to accidentally wind up at the pier. 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.560 No. Yeah, you definitely will not accidentally get to the 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.800 will You will get to the pier because you mistakenly 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:03.680 thought it would be easier to do that than take 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.000 an uber or take like the mass transit, And then 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:07.760 you'll realize you. 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:10.800 Have to park at the pier, which is a fucking nightmare. Yeah, 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.040 you'll hate yourself. Stay away from the pier, avoid the 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:15.200 peer at all costs. 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:16.440 Yeah. 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:20.120 Anyway, tinder Loin's fine. He gets to the delivery. Yeah, 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.160 he knocks on the door, and he's going to meet 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:23.560 the avatar, the old man. 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:24.360 That's chapter two. 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.720 I figured I would leave the package inside the door 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:28.960 and sign the customer's name I had signed for customers 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:29.600 to before. 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:30.760 No one had complained yet. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:32.679 It was a firing offense, but that only happened if 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.120 you got caught inside. I could see a long, dark 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.600 hallway with red faux textured walls lined with huge illuminated paintings. 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:40.200 At the end was a half open door to a 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:43.160 room that hosted a flickery. Yet at god, okay. 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.399 Uh, if he's so smart, i'l come. His door is 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:46.080 already opened. 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:48.600 Yeah, come, his doors already well, because he's been expecting. 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:52.239 This guy was startling. Yeah, yeah, the avatars, like I've 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:54.080 been expecting. You you know one of those things. 0:18:54.400 --> 0:19:02.440