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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi.

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Speaker 2: What's your name?

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Speaker 1: Zach? How's it going.

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Speaker 2: It's going good? Man, Uh, it's going fine, it's going

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Speaker 2: Uh dude, dude, fuck man, you know, fuck, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I'm I don't feel fuck. Who cares? Zach? Yeah, Zach,

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Speaker 2: you're texted me and you said I stole my best

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Speaker 2: friend's girlfriend and two kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that happened. So I was friends with this

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Speaker 1: guy for a very long time and he was I

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Speaker 1: knew he was kind of an asshole to his girlfriend

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Speaker 1: or whatever, but I don't know. I've known him for

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Speaker 1: a long time. I try to move past it, but

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Speaker 1: it didn't really work out. And then one time I

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Speaker 1: was at their house and and things got a little

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Speaker 1: crazy and I had to get him out of the house.

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Speaker 1: And then that happened another time. So they broke up

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Speaker 1: and she was lonely with the two kids. So we

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Speaker 1: started hanging out as friends, and then you know, that

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Speaker 1: escalated and now I am with her and stepdad to

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Speaker 1: the two kids. How's that going, Well, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's pretty fun. I'm twenty one, so it's a little crazy.

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Speaker 1: But whoa.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how old is your Okay, So it happened to

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Speaker 2: your boy I guess he's not your boy anymore.

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Speaker 1: No, well, I mean I can't hang out with someone

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Speaker 1: acting like that, you know what I mean. And it

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Speaker 1: was weird for a while because like he's pretty volatile.

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Speaker 1: Things were pretty crazy just between the two of them,

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Speaker 1: and so we didn't really want to tell him for

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Speaker 1: a while. But then, you know, one of them's three,

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Speaker 1: and she sees him pretty often, and she sees me

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Speaker 1: all the time, so we knew that she would end

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Speaker 1: up saying something, so we had to get ahead of that.

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Speaker 2: So what is this guy's deal? What was he doing?

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Speaker 2: Was he like, was he like yelling at her?

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Speaker 1: Was her well the night? The night so he on

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Speaker 1: the last night that they saw each other in person,

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Speaker 1: I was also there and he you know, like shoved

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Speaker 1: her and screamed at her, just saying nasty shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah jesus.

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Speaker 1: And then so the cops ended up getting called that

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Speaker 1: night because I got him out of the house and

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Speaker 1: then he proceeded to try and break back into the house.

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Speaker 2: Fuck man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So that was that was that, And then well

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Speaker 1: we ended up telling him, and I expected like violent,

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Speaker 1: but he took it surprisingly well, and you know, things

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Speaker 1: have been smooth since then.

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Speaker 2: Wait, things have been smooth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for the most part. You know, we don't talk anymore.

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Speaker 2: But but he okay, so you guys don't talk anymore.

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Speaker 2: But he's not like things are smooth in the sense

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Speaker 2: that like he's not like sending you guys fucking.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah exactly. I thought there was a good chance

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Speaker 1: he would try to, like just set her house on

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Speaker 1: fire or something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing like that. So he left you alone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, damn, bro, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wow, holy shit. Okay, how old is she.

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Speaker 1: Like my girlfriend? Yeah, she's twenty around twenty one? Damn.

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Speaker 2: How old are your kids?

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Speaker 1: Three and one?

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Speaker 2: Wow? Man? Whoa man?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead?

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Speaker 2: How do you feel, dude? What's how do you feel?

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Speaker 1: Ah? You know, it's a lot. I mean at first,

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Speaker 1: I felt like kind of a bad person. I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna lie, but I feel like I've justified it to

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Speaker 1: myself enough at this point. Why I feel like the sorry,

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Speaker 1: you're go ahead, go ahead. The craziest part, honestly about

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Speaker 1: the two kids is the one year old has a

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Speaker 1: bone disease, and I guess he's the only kid in

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Speaker 1: our country with it. It's oh I type five, So

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Speaker 1: he has bones that break really easy. So that's also

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 2: Why do you feel like, why do you feel guilty?

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Speaker 2: Why do you feel like a bad part you are?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I saw guilty at first because we had been

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Speaker 1: friends for so long, and then like I knew he

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Speaker 1: cared for this girl, but I for a long time

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Speaker 1: I liked her as well. But I try to get

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Speaker 1: over it because you know, friend's girlfriend. But then after

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Speaker 1: seeing him like act like that towards her, it was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, the only person who loses in this

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Speaker 1: situation is the one acting a fool.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, damn, dude, you really stepped the fuck he

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Speaker 2: really you, dude, he really stepped the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm doing my best.

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Speaker 2: You're taking care of that kid with the bone? Does

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Speaker 2: he just stepping the fuck up?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, you're just stepping the fuck up. I have

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Speaker 2: my utmost respect to you, my friend.

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Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate that.

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Speaker 2: And so he does he ever see the like what?

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Speaker 2: So he's just gone. He never tries, He doesn't even

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Speaker 2: try to get custody in the kits.

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Speaker 1: Well, he's got a no contact order with their mam,

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Speaker 1: so the only way he really gets to see them

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Speaker 1: is when Jack and my girlfriend her mom will bring

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Speaker 1: them to his house and so he sees them every

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Speaker 1: now and then. He doesn't make too much of an

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Speaker 1: effort to be honest though, And.

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Speaker 2: So you're in these are your kids now? Yes, Dan Dode,

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Speaker 2: I have so much respect for you. That's awesome. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So do they call you dad?

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Speaker 1: No, not yet, it's only been a couple of months.

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Speaker 1: Melve a three year old. She calls me my Zach,

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Speaker 1: so that's cute. And then THEO he's one. He doesn't

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Speaker 1: talk quite yet.

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Speaker 2: So what do you do for a living?

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Speaker 1: I'm a taper in Drywall.

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Speaker 2: Cool. What city are you in?

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Speaker 1: Calgary?

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Speaker 2: Oh you're in Canada?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Cool? Does your wife girlfriend work?

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Speaker 1: Uh no, she's looking for an at home job right

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Speaker 1: now though, because with the bone situation, he's not actually

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Speaker 1: able to go to daycare.

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Do I Does he need like extra medical care

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Speaker 2: and all that that for all that stuff?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, every six months he has to go and

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Speaker 1: get IV treatment and they do lots of blood work

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Speaker 1: on him and stuff. But because of his age, it's

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Speaker 1: actually really difficult. One year olds aren't big fans of

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Speaker 1: getting poked with needles and whatnot. And our healthcare here

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Speaker 1: isn't great. We don't have the best doctors and nurses.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I thought you guys were known for like.

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Speaker 1: No, we got free healthcare. Not good healthcare is free.

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Speaker 1: But then kind of actually makes it. It makes it

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Speaker 1: a little shitty because our all of our good doctors

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Speaker 1: that are actually like well trained and can make a

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Speaker 1: lot of money, they just move to America and start

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Speaker 1: private businesses.

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Speaker 2: Damn all right, Well, I guess at least it's free.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly we're paying for is shitty service outside.

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Speaker 2: So, uh, what's up with the family? What's up with

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Speaker 2: your Are your parents involved in any of this? Are

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Speaker 2: her parents involved in all of this?

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Speaker 1: Well, her mom is. At first, she thought it was

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Speaker 1: a little crazy, but she's she's more comfortable about her now.

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Speaker 1: We spend a lot of time at her house with

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Speaker 1: her mom, so she's cool with it. My mom at

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Speaker 1: first too, was like, what the fuck are you talking?

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Speaker 1: And I thought I was being retarded. But yeah, now

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Speaker 1: now she's met Jacqueline and hung out with her a

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Speaker 1: bit more. She likes her a lot, but she likes

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Speaker 1: the kids. So everybody's kind of At first, they just

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Speaker 1: thought I was making a silly decision and putting myself

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Speaker 1: in a bad spot. But yeah, we're more now.

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Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, how's your relationship with this woman? Like,

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Speaker 2: are you guys really tight? Do you guys have a

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Speaker 2: good partnership.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, No, we're great together.

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Speaker 2: I think that's great. That's great. And you like to get.

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Speaker 1: Very happy to kids. Oh I love the kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, damn man, Fuck, I'm truly oozing with respect for you,

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Speaker 2: just because this is crazy, man, because you're twenty one. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're twenty one. You're like a fucking you might as

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Speaker 2: well be like just a seasoned ass adult. Yeah, what

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Speaker 2: do you eat all day? What do you eat?

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Speaker 1: What kind of Actually I'm trying to fix my day

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Speaker 1: for for a couple of like last year or two. Now,

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Speaker 1: I kind of don't eat you in the day, and

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Speaker 1: then I'll just kind of feast at night. But I've

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Speaker 1: been trying to fix that because I was a bigger

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Speaker 1: guy and I lost a bunch of weight and then

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Speaker 1: I've kind of plateaut and I've been doing some research

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Speaker 1: and I think that's probably the problem, not eating all

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Speaker 1: day and feasting too much at night. No, you know,

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Speaker 1: at work, I tried, I don't bring full launches or

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Speaker 1: nothing because I got it's not many problems and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: but I'll eat peanuts and things for protein throughout the day,

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Speaker 1: hard boiled eggs and stuff.

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Speaker 2: So uh oh, actually, okay, I got a question about

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Speaker 2: the So okay, so you were homies with these kids? Dad? Right?

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Speaker 2: And it is he so and he's just gone. You

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Speaker 2: don't talk to him. He sometimes sees the kids, but

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Speaker 2: he don't. He don't really make an effort. Yeah, were

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Speaker 2: you guys in a group of friends?

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Speaker 1: Well, so, me and him knew each other in high

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Speaker 1: school and then he met my now girlfriend and they

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Speaker 1: started dating. And that's how I met her, was through him,

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, we would spend a lot of time

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Speaker 1: with her and one another.

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Speaker 2: I guess I mean this to say, like, was there

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Speaker 2: any like besides your girlfriend, was there anyone else in

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Speaker 2: the gang who was like like it's like in the rift?

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Speaker 2: Is there any was there anyone else in the gang

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Speaker 2: who like.

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Speaker 1: No, not really with kind of just the three of us?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Do you have a lot of friends?

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Speaker 1: No? No, I got now it was three nuts, two

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Speaker 1: and one lives in another city.

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Speaker 2: Who's the who's the one that lives in another city?

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Speaker 1: Uh, it's my friend he's just my friend. Noah, he

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Speaker 1: moved to Vancouver.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so your you said your mom I thought you're

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Speaker 2: you were crazy. Yeah, And but she's come around to it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she thought At first she was just like, well, like,

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Speaker 1: have you thought this through? Like she I think she

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Speaker 1: thought I was being like, uh, just thought I was

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Speaker 1: doing this for sex with Jack and to be honest.

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Speaker 1: And then so i'd like explained to Arler, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I love her and the two kids very much

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Speaker 1: and I'm willing to do it and whatnot.

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Speaker 2: Man, do you have a good relationship with your parents?

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Speaker 1: With my mom? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What's up with your dad? I mean, you don't have

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Speaker 2: to talk about if you want to.

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Speaker 1: No, it's all good. He he's just an alcoholic and

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Speaker 1: a meth head and whatnot. So lots of problems there.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's on drugs anymore. But we don't.

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Speaker 1: We don't talk too much.

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Speaker 2: Damn, you're so fucking cool man. You're gonna be the

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Speaker 2: dad and the dad wasn't a so fucking.

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Speaker 1: Cool Yeah, working on it.

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Speaker 2: I think that's so fucking cool.

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Speaker 1: Mmm.

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Speaker 2: And has her relationship with her parents, Oh, the same.

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Speaker 1: Thing pretty much with her mom. They're pretty tight. I

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Speaker 1: mean her and her dad don't talk too too much.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 2: Al right, so one kid is one? Which which which

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Speaker 2: is then the okay so and then the three year old?

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Speaker 2: Uh are they both two boys? Two girls? Boy and

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Speaker 2: a girl?

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Speaker 1: One girl and one boy?

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Speaker 2: Okay, older older kid a boy and girl?

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Speaker 1: The older one is me like she's a girl.

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Speaker 2: And is she like has her personality developed at all? Like?

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Speaker 2: Can she? Oh?

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Speaker 1: She is a fucking menace. Really, she just she's just terriosts.

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Speaker 1: She likes to see you website. If she doesn't like

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Speaker 1: if you're having a nap on the couch around her.

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Speaker 1: That pisses her off a lot, things like that. She

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Speaker 1: terrorizes her little brother mm hmmm.

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Speaker 2: And so they don't call you, what do they call you?

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Speaker 1: So Mila is the only one who can talk, so

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Speaker 1: she just calls me my Zach right now because it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to stress her ound. It's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to explain.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not so yeah yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then they talk yet, so we'll see how that goes.

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Speaker 2: Do they ask uh? Well, okay, so I guess I'll

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Speaker 2: focus on the three year old. Does she ask about

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Speaker 2: her dad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she likes to see her dad. Her and her

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Speaker 1: dad are pretty cool. He's he's good with the kids

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Speaker 1: when you guys see them, for sure, Okay, or at

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Speaker 1: least with yeah, with Mila there.

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Speaker 2: All right, okay, so so so she So he's good.

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Speaker 2: He's he's gonna be around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, at least someone. He was talking recently

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Speaker 1: about wanting to move maybe to a different province, so

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Speaker 1: that would kind of be nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do you not. I that's tough. That's tough for

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Speaker 2: you because it's like, fuck, you know, like I mean,

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Speaker 2: this little girl, like of course she wants like to

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Speaker 2: be with her dad. You don't want to deprive her

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Speaker 2: of that. That's fucking tough. That's sad man for you,

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Speaker 2: because it's like, you know, she wants to be with

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Speaker 2: her dad, but you also know that her dad is

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Speaker 2: like fucking crazy. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely a little weird. Like today I brought home

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Speaker 1: like little ice cream streets because you're doing like a

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Speaker 1: Valentine's party with her or whatever, and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my dad got the ice cream too, and it's like wow,

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Speaker 1: that's nice.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, dude, what so this just like this just

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Speaker 2: like happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like really fast.

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Speaker 2: And you're not like you just seem you just seem

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Speaker 2: so fearless.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely not worried about it. I hearst there was.

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Speaker 1: I was definitely pretty anxious, but I don't spent as

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Speaker 1: much time as I have with them now. It's like

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Speaker 1: like there's no doubt in my mind. It's just what

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Speaker 1: I want.

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Speaker 2: So wow, that's cool. What did you want when you

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Speaker 2: were like in high school?

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Speaker 1: Well, in high school, I was a little shithead. I

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Speaker 1: was just on drugs and stuff, so I wasn't really

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Speaker 1: thinking about the future.

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Speaker 2: Uh, do you still do any drugs?

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Speaker 1: No? I smoke weed and that's it.

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Speaker 2: That's cool.

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Speaker 1: I had I had a seizure from benzo diazepene withdrawal,

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Speaker 1: so I quit there after that. Really yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: probably two years ago now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I I mean I haven't like, I'll take all

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Speaker 2: I've got prescribed uh diazpam you know what that is.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I'll take one now and then, uh, you know, nothing

300
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Speaker 2: crazy with it. But like were you were you doing

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Speaker 2: a lot of that kind of ship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll applause Aram, Because we don't have like the

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00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,480
Speaker 1: brands X here, so we take all bad ram and

304
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Speaker 1: then sometimes you get something that's says X on it,

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Speaker 1: but who knows. And yeah, I was taking a lot

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Speaker 1: of those every day. It was like I always kind

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Speaker 1: of like in school and stuff. I fucked around with

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Speaker 1: drugged a little bit, but I never got like hooked

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Speaker 1: on anything. And then I was staying with this girl

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Speaker 1: and she had a lot of disposable money. We just

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Speaker 1: started doing a lot of drugs and it was probably

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Speaker 1: like a two month period where I was doing drugs

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Speaker 1: every day mostly the next but then whatever else I

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Speaker 1: could get my hands on. And then yeah, I had

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Speaker 1: the seizures and realized that I was being ridiculous and

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Speaker 1: quit doing that.

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Speaker 2: And so you're just a weird guy now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, trying to work on that.

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Speaker 2: But how often are you smoking the gun job?

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Speaker 1: First thing in the morning, right when I get home

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Speaker 1: from work, and then before bed. That's usually this how

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Speaker 1: it goes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I'm I'm in every night. Sometimes if I

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Speaker 2: wake up and I'm just like fuck the day, I'll

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Speaker 2: do it in. They do sometimes, like sometimes you want

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Speaker 2: to trick your like, dude, sometimes you just want to

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Speaker 2: trick yourself with the think and you're dreaming.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's like it'll make the day go by easier.

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Speaker 1: Especially if you go out in public. Yeah, a little scary.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, dude, that's like the whole the weird paranoia

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Speaker 2: thing is like, uh, I I love it because I'm like,

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00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 2: you know, go into the grocery store to buy something,

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00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 2: it's too easy. What if it was hard?

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Speaker 1: I did this to myself cut egg the grocery store, Like,

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00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 1: ah fuck, I might have moved a little too much

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Speaker 1: before coming in here, and these people are looking at me. Funny.

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Speaker 2: What if having a normal interaction was actually very difficult

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Speaker 2: for no reason, just because I just because I wanted

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Speaker 2: to up the difficulty. It's just stupid. Uh, cool man,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I have any other questions for you.

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Speaker 1: All right, fair enough, thank you very much. I've been

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 1: listening to you for so long.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm ruding.

345
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Speaker 1: Never had anything interesting enough to talk about him to him? Now?

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00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 2: Just how okay? How recent is this by the.

347
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 1: Way, Uh like Christmas time we got officially together.

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Speaker 2: It's been two months. Yeah, and you're like, I'm and

349
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 2: you're just in it. You're committed. I can feel that

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Speaker 2: you're committed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like I said, I've liked her for

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Speaker 1: for a long time. I've known probably five years now. Yeah,

353
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,680
Speaker 1: you here almost every weekend for those five years. So

354
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: once we got together, it all kind of like started

355
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 1: happening pretty fast.

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Speaker 2: Did I have no I got man, that's so cool.

357
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 2: I have no no. You you definitely I can say

358
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Speaker 2: to tell that you're committed. I hear it in your voice.

359
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, give me your name one more time. That

360
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 2: could be a fit one, Zach. Good luck to you,

361
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,879
Speaker 2: my brother. God, I'm rooting for you. Is there anything

362
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: else you want to say to the people of the

363
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 2: computer before we go?

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00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,400
Speaker 1: I just want to ask you think I might make

365
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,399
Speaker 1: it on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Or yeah, of course you're gonna make it on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'll be listening to that at work when

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Speaker 1: it comes out. We'll oh, dude, that's exciting, Thank you

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00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 1: so much.

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Speaker 2: We'll make you the title I recorded, and I actually

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00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 2: I recorded a phone call before this phone call, which

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00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 2: was a great phone call, and I'm going to play

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Speaker 2: it right after this phone call that I was gonna

374
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 2: make that the title, but now you should still listen

375
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 2: to that one because it's a good folk I'm gonna

376
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 2: play it right after this but this will be this

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00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 2: will be the title.

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Speaker 1: Awesome. All right, all right, enjoy the rest of your show.

379
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Speaker 2: Thank you man, you take care of good luck.

380
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Speaker 1: Thank you Bye Zack, bye O.

381
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 2: Sure I recorded it. Sometimes i'll record them and i'll

382
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: put them in a different order. That's why I did

383
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 2: for this episode. So this next phone call I actually

384
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 2: recorded before the phone call. The phone call I just took.

385
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,920
Speaker 2: Both good phone calls. You'll hear, you'll you'll understand by

386
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 2: the end of this. But this has been a very

387
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:24,959
Speaker 2: good session of phone call taking. I feel shout out

388
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 2: to Zach. Zach's a fucking what a legend, dude, goddamn truly,

389
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: truly the father that's stepped up. Hello, Hello, what's up? Man?

390
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 2: What's your name?

391
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,399
Speaker 1: My name is Carlo Carleo. I think it's fuck.

392
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Speaker 2: What's up, Carleo? How's life man?

393
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 1: Pretty good, man, it's pretty good. Just passing some time. Uh,

394
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: Is I'm about to throw a house show tonight?

395
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 2: Is they're on a house show tonight? Who's playing? What's

396
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 2: the name of your band?

397
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: My man's not playing. I'm hosting it in my living room.

398
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Speaker 2: Okay, who's playing?

399
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 1: Right now? It's going to be shot with a gun,

400
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 1: socially constricted and fuck Colidria.

401
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 2: Ooh, Collegria sounds like they play very ethereal spacey type

402
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 2: of shit. The other guys seem like they just kind

403
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 2: of tear the house down with you know, yelling, yeah.

404
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 1: That's what I'm playing.

405
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Speaker 2: I'm happening, cool man. I love that. I love they shit,

406
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 2: I really do. So you're just hosting?

407
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, this is the second show I've done, but

408
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 1: I threw one back in December and two of my

409
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: bands played.

410
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Speaker 2: How come you're not in the band anymore?

411
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 1: No, I am in the band. We're just not playing

412
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Speaker 1: the show.

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00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,640
Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, how come you're not playing the show?

414
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: Oh uh? One of my friends he doesn't like to

415
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,719
Speaker 1: play that often, and what and my other friends are

416
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 1: busy because it's Valentine's Day?

417
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 2: Do you think that, yes, today is this episode will

418
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 2: come out on Sunday, but today is Valentine's Day. As

419
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 2: I'm recording it, do you think that a lot of

420
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 2: the people coming to this will be uh, single people

421
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 2: who did not have Valentine's Day plans?

422
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: No, because I invited a lot of my friends and

423
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, bring your girl out to the fucking

424
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: hardcore show.

425
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but is that really is that? Is that really

426
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 2: a good Valentine's Day date?

427
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're really in the music scene and

428
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: like you really like this kind of stuff, you like

429
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: mashing and like just hanging out with a shows and stuff,

430
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: and yeah, I think it's a great date.

431
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Speaker 2: All I do you have a girlfriend?

432
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Speaker 1: Not right now?

433
00:21:53,760 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: No? Not right now? What happened with the one before? Oh?

434
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 1: It was just like it was a whole thing. I Uh,

435
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: I just got really weird and uh I was going

436
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 1: through a rough time, Like I went through the hurricane

437
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 1: in Asheville and so I had to move to Atlanta

438
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: because I lost my job in my house for a bit.

439
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 2: Mm hmm yeah, okay, so you so you you let

440
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: you guys broke up because you had to move.

441
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: Well, we uh moved together, but we had only been

442
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: together for like six months, and so it wasn't like

443
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 1: a great thing.

444
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 2: Why did that? Why why did moving together deteriorate the relationship?

445
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,959
Speaker 1: Uh? We weren't ready because I mean, uh, we're as

446
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: much as similar as we were we were, like still

447
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,159
Speaker 1: like not we conflicted a lot when it came to

448
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: like living together.

449
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, what were the main conflicts?

450
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: Mainly cleanliness or like just not even like uh clearlyon es,

451
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: but like just like keeping stuff organized and like because

452
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: I'm very like OCD about like where things are supposed

453
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: to go. Ooh yeah yeah yeah.

454
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 2: Okay, as the DIY punk rocker, I am sorry because

455
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 2: I assumed you were the type B person.

456
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: No, that's funny though, I mean I.

457
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 2: Always I tend to assume that. Uh, in situations like these,

458
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: it's the guys that are less cleanly than the girls.

459
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,439
Speaker 1: No, I just like i'd really really like having like

460
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 1: a clean space like today because I have I'm gonna

461
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: have a bunch of people in my house. I've just

462
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: been cleaning the whole fucking day.

463
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 2: How often do you host these shows?

464
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 1: Uh? Well this is only the second one, but I

465
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 1: also still have a third one planned in March, so

466
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: it's looking around like every either once or every other month.

467
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 2: Are you ever afraid that people will like steal ship?

468
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: I kind of am, but like I got pretty good

469
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: hiding spots for the stuff that I actually care about.

470
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 2: I tell us them this will this will air, it

471
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 2: will air by the time the show is over.

472
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's gonna be more shows.

473
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you can change them. No, no, no, no,

474
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: give me one. Give me one of your hiding spaces.

475
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: Uh. Really up in the back of my closet.

476
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 2: I don't know the way, Like without what are you

477
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: hiding there? Like your wallet? Your phone? Like, what's so important.

478
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: That my liquor in my cool rocks?

479
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: Your liquor and your cool rocks. Yeah, tell me about

480
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 2: these rocks.

481
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: Brother, I wanted to tell you. I've been trying to

482
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: call you for so long. Man, I didn't think it

483
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: was real. I thought it was your voicemail again and

484
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: told me that Alaska is not a state.

485
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: Rather, tell me about these rocks. What kind of rocks

486
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 2: you got back there?

487
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: I got this really really big cluster of rocks with

488
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: a bunch of milky and clear courts. I went mine

489
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: in Central Arkansas and I found this big ass rock

490
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: when I was out there.

491
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 2: Bro, I love it. You're a rock guy and a

492
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 2: rock guy.

493
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? What can I say? Man?

494
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: Okay, so you like rocks?

495
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: Are you?

496
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 2: How old are you?

497
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four?

498
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: Twenty four? Can I ask you a question and you

499
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 2: can answer nothing if that's the answer, But I just

500
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 2: want to true you answer. What is wrong with you?

501
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: Oh? Man? There's so much I think one of the

502
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: big things is that I don't go to actual therapy.

503
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 2: That's not I don't think that that's something to inherently

504
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: be wrong with you. I don't got to.

505
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: Think I really I mean, yeah, it's more of a

506
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 1: a domino in the effect of everything else wrong with me.

507
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: Okay, if you did go to therapy, what would you

508
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 2: be talking to them about?

509
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: A bit to do with my anger issues, for sure,

510
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: because I definitely struggle with that pretty often.

511
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: What makes you angry.

512
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: When people don't understand me? Or there's like or vice versa.

513
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: When I can't understand people and like either party just

514
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: keeps saying like the same thing over and over again.

515
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: It gets really frustrating.

516
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:57,239
Speaker 2: Okay do you mean, like, okay, you don't feel Do

517
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 2: you feel in general to be misunderstood?

518
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: Not as much as I used to. I definitely could

519
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: understood now as an adult, but I don't know how

520
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: that is in comparison to anyone else.

521
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 2: You know, do you have certain people in your life

522
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 2: that you can think of and be like that person

523
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 2: understands me.

524
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, that's great. Uh.

525
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: Do I understand you? Do you think I understand you?

526
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, It sounds like you've got a

527
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: pair of social relationship with me right now.

528
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 2: Well I don't. I've We've only been talking to you.

529
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 2: I actually can I try? Can I try to understand you?

530
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: It's only been eight and a half minutes so and

531
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: we've had a pretty surface level conversation. So I want

532
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: to see if I can understand you. So let's do this.

533
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 2: What aspect of you do you feel like? Is most

534
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 2: commonly misunderstood.

535
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: It has to do with how I communicate, like my words,

536
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: because I'm not very good at turning the thoughts in

537
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: my brain into words that come out of my mouth.

538
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

539
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: Because when I try to think, I think in very

540
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: very specific ways. I guess, and it's like hard because

541
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: like the vocabulary have doesn't match what I think inside.

542
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

543
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 2: Tell me the last time that you were really angry.

544
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 1: The last time I was really angry when I was

545
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: wrongfully arrested, like last year. What were you arrested for

546
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: the charge that they tried to get me with was

547
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: resisting a public officer. So what happened was there's this

548
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: guy downtown and he was getting beat the fuck up.

549
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 1: And of course it's some black dude by like five

550
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: different cops, and I'm like trying to get close to

551
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: make sure these cops aren't like abusing your power them,

552
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,479
Speaker 1: and then they started like yelling at me to back up,

553
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: and I'm like probably like twenty yards away from the guy,

554
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: so like I'm a safe distance where I can like

555
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: watch what's going on and still be fine, like I'm

556
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: not impeding on anything. And they keep threatening me over

557
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: and over again. So I'm like whatever, and I try

558
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: to go to my car because at this time I'm

559
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: living in my car and I'm trying to just trying

560
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: to go to sleep. But a different fucking cop sees

561
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: me trying to cross the street thinks I'm trying to

562
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: get closer to the dude, and then immediately puts me

563
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: in handcuffs, and I'm like and I sat there for

564
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: like two hours before they put me in the fucking

565
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: tank to go to the jail. Yeah.

566
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 2: Wait, so you tried to fucking leave and then they.

567
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: Come, Yeah, exactly, because they'd get they were getting really

568
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 1: strict out here because there was this one bar that

569
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: like always got crazy on the weekends, like sometimes there's

570
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: like shootings every once in a while, so I understand that,

571
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: like they're like on edge or whatever, but they don't

572
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,479
Speaker 1: need to be beating people up on the streets and

573
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 1: then arresting anyone who like even cares about this bro

574
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: Like one of the guys I got arrested with, he

575
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: got punched like five times in the face because they

576
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: were arresting the guy right inside his car and he

577
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: was just trying to get in his car.

578
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: Where are you at? What city you in?

579
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: I live in Asheville, North Carolina.

580
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you mentioned Ashville, North Carolina. Mmm. I've heard

581
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 2: a lot about Ashville. I want to go there. It

582
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: seems like an interest you should. Okay, let's get back

583
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: on track, all right, you were wrongfully arrested. Yeah, I understand. Again,

584
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: in jail understandably made you very upset. Did you when

585
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: you were in jail, did you like cuss anyone out?

586
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: Did you like lash out on any No? No, no, no.

587
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: I was other than the guys who got beat up

588
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: with me by the cops. Uh. I was mainly in

589
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: there with a bunch of like mathe addicts and so like,

590
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: they were all like fucking tweaking in there.

591
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: Okay, So the guy who you were watching get beat

592
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 2: up was in the sun you.

593
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: Got put in the same holding cell?

594
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you talk to him? Were you like, bro,

595
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: what's up?

596
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

597
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 2: What was that conversation? Was that conversation? Uh?

598
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: He was talking about like he found out his girl

599
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: was like cheating on him or something or some weird

600
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: like crazy drama. And then he's like, next thing, I know,

601
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of cops telling me to get down.

602
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: So I just start running and they teased me. He said,

603
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: I fell down, but he was like so drunk he

604
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: like took the shit off and then just started fucking

605
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: like running again, and like three more cops like tased

606
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: the climultaneously. He was down.

607
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 2: Dude, what that's crazy?

608
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: It was insane, dude. There's some crazy shit that happened here.

609
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 2: Okay, so wait, did you like, okay, did you become

610
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: homies with this guy?

611
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: Not really that much. I mean we were like tight

612
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: in like when we were in the holding cell, but

613
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: I got out like pretty fast because I had some

614
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: friends who bailed me off.

615
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I got a question when you, uh, is

616
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 2: that awkward when it's like you're kind of bonding over

617
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,959
Speaker 2: the fact that you're both to sell and then you

618
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: get out. Are you like all right, man?

619
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: Well, no, not really. I don't think it was awkward

620
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: because like everyone's like trying to get out, So like

621
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 1: if anyone, you know, especially if it's someone that you

622
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: like fuk with, it's like, I'm glad you're getting out.

623
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 2: You know that's good. Are your friends bail you out?

624
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 2: And then fuck? We still have I Okay, that's an

625
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 2: interesting story. I'm glad you told me that story, but

626
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 2: I feel like I still don't know a lot about you. Actually, no,

627
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: I feel like I do know a little bit about

628
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: you based on that story. Let's see here. Okay, you're

629
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 2: wrongfully arrested and your friends bailed you out, the friends

630
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 2: that bailed you out. Earlier, I asked you if you

631
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 2: felt understood by anyone in your life, and you said, yes,

632
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 2: are these friends people who you feel understand you?

633
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: One of them? Yeah? Because it was two of them.

634
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: It's like one of my old roommates and uh her fiance.

635
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: Now okay, so are they are both of them your friend?

636
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: Or is one of them like a friend?

637
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, we're still homies. But I just think

638
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: that the other one doesn't fully understand me as a person.

639
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: And one kind of does.

640
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: Okay, the one who doesn't fully understand you as a person.

641
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: What's going on there?

642
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's just a bit of difference in

643
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: like our rulers and stuff. And it's not anything that's

644
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: like worth like fighting over or like not being friends.

645
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: But there's just a few things. But yeah, I don't

646
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: really agree with that. I don't think you really understand

647
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 1: the way of like thinking that I do kind of thing.

648
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 2: Sure, and then the other girl and then the girl

649
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 2: you uh you guys know the opposite. Oh okay, it's okay, Okay,

650
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 2: your roommate she doesn't understand you, and then but her

651
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 2: fiance you think understands you.

652
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's the homie. We like, I've gone on like

653
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: three vacations with these people, like all three of us.

654
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: That's cool. Wait, okay, is there more people or are

655
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: you just third wheeling on these this couple's vacations.

656
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: Uh well kind of yeah, but like it's also just

657
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 1: like help me shit because we usually go to Florida

658
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: and like meet up with other friends while we're out there.

659
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, all right, Am I any closer to understanding you?

660
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 2: I feel like I we haven't really gotten into.

661
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: It maybe a little bit. I think I think you

662
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 1: understand me a little bit more for sure.

663
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 2: All right, let's keep going.

664
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 1: All right, what else you want to know?

665
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: What are you afraid of?

666
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, I'm afraid of a lot, to be honest,

667
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: I think the thing I'm the most afraid of is

668
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: like isolation, like forced isolation.

669
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: Oh do you feel isolated?

670
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: No? I have a pretty good community around me. I

671
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: have like a lot of good friends who like actually

672
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: care about me.

673
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: That's great. Forced isolation. What's an example of forced isolation?

674
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: Uh? Imprisonment and solitary confinement? Yeah? Have you ever been

675
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,800
Speaker 1: in being lost that sea?

676
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: Yes?

677
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah?

678
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 2: Have you ever been in a situation? What's the closest

679
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 2: situation you've been in to forced isolation?

680
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: Forced isolation? Probably kind of recently? Uh, there was a

681
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: pretty good snowstorm that came through and a lot of

682
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: places closed, and the day it starts snarling, I lost

683
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: my phone and my keys, so I couldn't go anywhere

684
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: and I couldn't talk to anyone and that kind of STUFFT.

685
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: Dude, interesting, all right? So that you felt isolated when

686
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 2: your phone was gone.

687
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 1: Well, because I couldn't even like go to like a bar,

688
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: or a restaurant to like see my friends or anything,

689
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 1: because like everything was closed, you know, and I couldn't

690
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: like meet up with people because I didn't have my

691
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: phone to text them. I did hang out with my

692
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: roommate and stuff.

693
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 2: Though you weren't fully isolated, you hung out with some people.

694
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 2: It's just they weren't.

695
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there was definitely some like at nights. I

696
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, it's also cold as fucking my appointment.

697
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like I don't fully understand you yet. Uh,

698
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 2: what can you tell me? Is there anything that you're

699
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 2: willing to tell me right now, like publicly that you've

700
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: never told anyone else?

701
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 1: I've never told anyone else.

702
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: It's okay, a lot of stuff.

703
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can try to think of one. Give me

704
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 1: a set. Okay, I don't know, man, I can't think

705
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 1: of it on the spot, to.

706
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: Be honest, that's all right. Uh well, okay, what about

707
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: something you've only told a few people.

708
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: Okay, this is gonna get dark for sure. I got

709
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 1: one and loaded in my mind ready.

710
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,439
Speaker 2: Yeah.

711
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: A lot of the times I have a night terrors

712
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: where I shoot my mom in the face and then

713
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: I just like stare at her like face like all

714
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: like blown out by a shotgun show.

715
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, what is that?

716
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: Like?

717
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 2: Now, I'm by the way, I don't mean that, like

718
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: I'm not phrasing I when I say, dude, what is that?

719
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 2: I'm not phrasing that question to you. I'm phrasing that

720
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: question to like intelligent design, you know what I mean, Like,

721
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 2: whoever the fuck made the brain science?

722
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 1: What? Like?

723
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 2: To I asked that question to God? I'm like, what

724
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 2: the fuck is that?

725
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: You know?

726
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: Because that's not your fault, you know what I mean?

727
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 1: That's just like no, Yeah, I mean, I just I

728
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: just like I've always had night terror since like I

729
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: was a little kid. Man. I mean, they're not as

730
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: bad now, but like when I was a little kid,

731
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: I'd like wake up screaming. Yeah.

732
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: How often do you have that dream about your mom?

733
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 1: It usually gets worse the more depressed I am. But

734
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: I haven't had that dream in like maybe like three

735
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: and a half months, maybe four.

736
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 2: This reminds me of do you know who Jack Stober is?

737
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? I do, I do.

738
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 2: He has it. He has a skit that's exactly like

739
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 2: that dream. Well it's not, it's similar. Do you know

740
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 2: what I'm talking about?

741
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: Which which song are you talking about?

742
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 2: Fuck man? I think it's called library or something library

743
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 2: while Jack stubor, Yeah, it's called library. Yeah, if he

744
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,240
Speaker 2: just starts the library Jack Stouber, You're fine anyway, whatever.

745
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:02,720
Speaker 2: I Okay. The the more depressed you get, the more

746
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: likely likely you are to have that nighttare about shooting

747
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 2: your mom.

748
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, or just in general, have nighttairs that one like

749
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: comes around like every once in a while.

750
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are you depressed?

751
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: Like?

752
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: Okay, in the aggregate of the past seven days, have

753
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 2: you been depressed.

754
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: The past seven days? I've been feeling pretty good because

755
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: I like, I decided I'm not gonna drink in February. Cool,

756
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: So I've been like waking up early and like drinking

757
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: a shit ton of water. So I feel pretty good.

758
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 2: Cool. Uh, Okay, when's the last time you were depressed?

759
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:46,280
Speaker 1: Probably like a week ago before stop drinking.

760
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: Could you pin it to anything or was it just

761
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 2: a general depression, just.

762
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: A general kind of thing, because it's like depression for me,

763
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: It is just like it's always gonna be there no

764
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 1: matter what. It's just like how intent or like how

765
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: uh I can like kind of ignore it.

766
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 2: Oh, so you feel it? You always feel that its presence.

767
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, but sometimes it's not as.

768
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 2: Harmful it's malignant.

769
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's pretty tame. Yeah, mm hmm.

770
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 2: Interesting.

771
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 1: I feel like you're starting to give me, you know, meat,

772
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: a little bit.

773
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I am too. Okay. What's your

774
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 2: favorite color?

775
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: Mmm? I really like a like a deep forest green.

776
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 2: Oh you're not just saying that, are you?

777
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 1: No?

778
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 2: I'm not okay because you know I'm green right?

779
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 1: Well, I know you're green, but you're not deep forest green.

780
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 2: What do you mean I'm a deep forest green?

781
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: It's like that really dark like pine green.

782
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 2: You're right, I'm not. I'm not a pine green, and

783
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 2: I don't care if I'm not a pine green. I

784
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: don't need to be any other green.

785
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: That's okay, You're still green green. Thanks, No, you don't

786
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:00,479
Speaker 1: have to, you know.

787
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: All right? You broke up with your girlfriend?

788
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: You are you?

789
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 2: Have you ever been in love?

790
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,439
Speaker 1: I think I was in love with my ex for sure?

791
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 2: What made you feel like you were in love with her?

792
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, they didn't make me like have to explain things.

793
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: They just kind of try to understand me a lot,

794
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: and like someone ever loved me like that? And I

795
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: think I love them because I felt very similarly, because

796
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: like there was a lot that I just kind of

797
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: understood about them, or like things that they would hate,

798
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: I'd like, for some reason, would love about them, you know,

799
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: like they almost they had their flaws, but I still

800
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: love their flaws.

801
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 2: Do you think you'll ever fall in love again?

802
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: I hope so.

803
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 2: Do you think anyone will ever love you again?

804
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so. I think I'm pretty cool.

805
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: That's good. That's all you need. Yeah, that's all you need.

806
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 2: That's all you need. Not that.

807
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: Uh.

808
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 2: I don't mean that in like a Beatles love is

809
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 2: all you need type of shit. I mean that in

810
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,399
Speaker 2: the sense of, like, you know, hope is all you need.

811
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: You seem like, okay, so you're so you're like, okay,

812
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 2: so you're a little fucked up. I mean everyone's a

813
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 2: little fucked up. Yeah.

814
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: No, I mean yeah, I've definitely had like a pretty

815
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: crazy like childhood dealing with a lot of racism and shit.

816
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:27,720
Speaker 2: But you, uh, but you're not. So you're not fucked

817
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: up beyond repair repair because you're because you're latimistic, because you.

818
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: Have Yeah, you think there's a chance for.

819
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,320
Speaker 2: Me, Yes, you have the faith. That's all By the

820
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: way that said that it's all you need is the faith.

821
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just hard to change your ways, especially when

822
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 1: you're so stuck in you habits. You know.

823
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: Uh, okay, you said you had a bad childhood. Do

824
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 2: you want to talk about it? We don't have to,

825
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 2: but we're we're going to do a whole thing.

826
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 1: We can talk about it a little bit. Like I'll

827
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 1: give I'll give you like some like uh, what are

828
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: they called, like the flash words or whatever?

829
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 2: They're called flash cards?

830
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 1: No? No, no, but like the words you can say

831
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: that like I don't know, you'll give me the spark notes? Yeah, sure,

832
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: so I am.

833
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: Wait, do you know what spark notes is?

834
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: No?

835
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 2: Okay, how old are you? Twenty four?

836
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

837
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 2: Okay did you you didn't? Have? You remember like when

838
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 2: they would tell you to read a book when you

839
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 2: were a kid, and then instead of reading the book,

840
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 2: you would I mean not with AI, nobody uses this

841
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 2: shit anymore, but like instead of reading the book, you

842
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 2: would just go on spark notes and they would like

843
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 2: give you a summary of the book.

844
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: No, I usually just read the book to be honest.

845
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 2: All right, tell me about your childhood.

846
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: So I grew up in like rural North North Carolina

847
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: and uh, my great grandfather because I'm half Hispanic and

848
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 1: half white and my mom so her grandfather was in

849
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:11,760
Speaker 1: the clan. Oh wow, yeah, so that it's weird growing

850
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: up when your great grandfather hated the people that you like,

851
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:16,919
Speaker 1: know and love.

852
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: All right, So great grandfather was in the clan on

853
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 2: your that's on your white side, yes, and then it's

854
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 2: somewhere down the line his that guy's grandson, grandson, grand granddaughter, granddaughter.

855
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 2: Mary's a Hispanic man.

856
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

857
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 2: And what were your grandparents like? Were your grandparents clanny

858
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 2: or just the great grandmother?

859
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: They were just like regular racist, but it was still pretty.

860
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 2: Bad, I would say regular.

861
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: Actually, actually, you know what, I think they were very racist.

862
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: I'm just now remembering that my grandfather used to keep

863
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: a noose from the yard.

864
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's what I think. That's what I meant

865
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 2: when I said clanny, Like I think that, I think, right, yeah,

866
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: I think it.

867
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, they were pretty bad.

868
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 2: Okay, But is your mom racist?

869
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 1: She was a little bit when I was a kid,

870
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: but like I kind of helped educate my mother about

871
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: what things are okay when things are not. So she's

872
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: she's actually, uh pretty chill now.

873
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 2: That's cool. Is your dad racist?

874
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: No?

875
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:39,359
Speaker 2: Okay. Do you have any siblings? I do two young

876
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 2: Are they racist?

877
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: No? They're both brown.

878
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 2: Do you have a dog?

879
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 1: No, but I do have a cat named Otis.

880
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 2: Is your cat racist?

881
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: Sorry? He actually kind of is?

882
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 2: You know, wait, really you really? How is your cat racist?

883
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 1: I can just feel it, you know, he just kind

884
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:08,879
Speaker 1: of gives you He just gives racist vibes. It is funny, though.

885
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: My neighbor's cat has a little Hitler stash.

886
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: Because you can't because animals can be racist.

887
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 1: You know.

888
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: There's like dogs, Oh.

889
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: I know, I know dogs Like if you like bring

890
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,439
Speaker 1: like a brown verson around for the first time ever,

891
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 1: they go crazy. One of my friends dogs is like that.

892
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: You said you how many siblings? Did you say you

893
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 2: have two? What's your relationship like with them?

894
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: Uh, it's not too bad. I don't talk to them

895
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: too often, but I like text him and call them

896
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: like maybe like every other week.

897
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: It do you not? Do you not talk to them

898
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 2: too often? On purpose or just because you're all adults

899
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 2: with busy lives?

900
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: We're all adults, okay, time.

901
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 2: What's your relationship like with your parents?

902
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: Kind of the same thing. I'd like call them every

903
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: once in a while of them know what's going on

904
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: in my life, and they fill me in on the

905
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: tee of what's going on in my hometown.

906
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 2: That's cool, that sounds fun. Wait, what's good? Give me

907
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 2: the give me the latest update. What's the latest tea

908
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 2: on your hometown?

909
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, No, I don't think I could say it's

910
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 1: a little crazy.

911
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 2: Wait you you should have said that. You should have

912
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,879
Speaker 2: just said it was like a different, a random thing

913
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 2: that unrelated to you, and then you could say that.

914
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: I guess I could have too late.

915
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 2: Now what can I guess what it is?

916
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can try to guess.

917
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 2: Is your aunt dating a dog?

918
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 1: No?

919
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 2: All right, you can't tell me what it is.

920
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,240
Speaker 1: No, I think that's a little too far for privacy

921
00:47:59,320 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 1: state sake.

922
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 2: All right, that's fair, I understand. Okay, whatever, this isn't

923
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 2: about your own We're trying.

924
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 1: To feel like I've given you some pretty good juice

925
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: for the U for the title of this podcast.

926
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 2: I'm not listen. I'm not I'm not thinking about the

927
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 2: title of this podcast until we're like, see here's the thing.

928
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 2: Let me what's your name again? Uh, Carlio, listen all

929
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 2: that ship, like what I I'll think about it as

930
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 2: right now. I'm in the moment of having this conversation

931
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 2: with you, so I'll think about the title later. But

932
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 2: all right, all right, I forget, I forget what your

933
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: name is already. But that's okay, because I feel.

934
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: You're I understand I'm I do the same ship and

935
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: every person I've ever met at the bar?

936
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 2: Do you remember my name?

937
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: Of course it's Lyle.

938
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: That's crazy that you know my fucking name. I'm just some.

939
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: Random You're just some random dude in New York, Yeah,

940
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: I know.

941
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 2: All right, yeah, all right, all right, all right, all right,

942
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 2: all right, all right, hold on always Okay. You sounded

943
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 2: like you had a okay, why was your childhood so bad?

944
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: As?

945
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 2: It sounded like you have a good relationship with your parents,

946
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:13,320
Speaker 2: you have a good relationship with the siblings.

947
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, but it really sucked as a child because, like,

948
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 1: things are not the same. I was raised by teenagers,

949
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: like my mom was sixteen when she got pregnant.

950
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how old.

951
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 1: Yeah eighteen, that's tough. Yeah exactly. It was like a

952
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: whole thing.

953
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 2: Mh Okay, and you're twenty four and you're optimistic about life.

954
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: That's pretty good.

955
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: The most part. I try to be Yeah, let.

956
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 2: Me think here, what's next? What's your ultimate dream?

957
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 1: Ultimate dream being able to quit my job and just

958
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: play music.

959
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I forgot. We got so deep into your life.

960
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,839
Speaker 2: I forgot about the house show that you're putting one. Yeah,

961
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 2: tell me more about your band. What kind of music

962
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:09,439
Speaker 2: you guys play?

963
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 1: Well, I got two bands that are playing right now.

964
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: One of them Sluggle, and it's like, I guess you'd

965
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 1: call it post progu punk music. It's kind of a

966
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: bunch of like old school like eighties core lifts, but

967
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: it's kind of a bunch of like, uh, kind of

968
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,479
Speaker 1: proggy kind of shit from like two thousand and eight.

969
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 1: It's really fun to music. I like it a lot

970
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: people seem to as well.

971
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 2: Uh, prague means progressive rock.

972
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Prague like uh, just like weird sounds and like

973
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 1: all the like kind of Matthew, but not all the

974
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 1: way deep into that kind of shit.

975
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: You know what's funny For a guy who says that

976
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 2: he has a hard time taking the thoughts in his

977
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: brain and putting them into words, you figured out how

978
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 2: to take like sounds like this intangib music and ascribe

979
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:09,879
Speaker 2: and you've you've taken these intangible feelings and you've ascribed

980
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 2: words to them.

981
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I guess I am better at communicating

982
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 1: through like music and stuff like. That's just like that's

983
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: its own thing. And it's like it's not always like

984
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 1: one hundred percent either. There's still like a lot of

985
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: uh fucking pretentious people about what is exactly what found

986
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: and all that shit.

987
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 2: What's your favorite song of all time?

988
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, there's so many good ones. Yeah. Let me

989
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 1: look at my recent so I can think of everything.

990
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 2: Wait, look at your recent Are you a Spotify guy?

991
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 2: You're an Apple Music guy?

992
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 1: Who are YouTube music?

993
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 2: YouTube music? Do you pay for that?

994
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? To get no ads? So recently I've been listening

995
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 1: to this one demo eph by this band eight Ate.

996
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: There's this grindcore band from New York and they're fucking sick.

997
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 1: I saw them because I was in Philly for Halloween

998
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 1: and they played a grind show out there.

999
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 2: Did you go to the yeah prison in Philly?

1000
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: No? I was mainly just hanging out with my friends

1001
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: out there. Wow.

1002
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: Is it what Eastern State Penitentiary is?

1003
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 1: I think it's called What's so special about it?

1004
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 2: They have they have. There's like scare act they do,

1005
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 2: like they open it up and it's like a haunted prison.

1006
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 2: It's a local Philadelphia thing in case if anyone gives

1007
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:54,240
Speaker 2: a fuck.

1008
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: Okay, well I do now because I have friends that

1009
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 1: live up there, so that'd be kind of cute.

1010
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 2: Okay, give me your name one more time. I don't

1011
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:06,320
Speaker 2: remember it this time. I'm gonna try to Carleo. Carleo. Okay,

1012
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 2: I got that down now, like.

1013
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 1: Carlito, but without the tea Carlio.

1014
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 2: It sounds like the name of a candy.

1015
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 1: It could be what do.

1016
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: You eat every day?

1017
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 1: Uh? Usually a chicken sandwich or a chicken grilled a fry,

1018
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 1: usually pan fried.

1019
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 2: Pan fried?

1020
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 1: Ye're in there?

1021
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 2: Do you make it?

1022
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,879
Speaker 1: Or do I usually make it?

1023
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 2: What else is on the sandwich?

1024
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: If I have all the stuff that I want, I

1025
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 1: get some of that fucking oil, some sub oil. I

1026
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:55,240
Speaker 1: get pickled halopenos, spinach, banana peppers, and then some mayo

1027
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 1: and mustard and maybe a slice of cheese. If I'm

1028
00:53:59,040 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: feeling it.

1029
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 2: How do you think you will eventually die?

1030
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 1: Oh dude, there's so many ways I could die. I

1031
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 1: make so many bad decisions.

1032
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 2: Well, what was the most recent you came to dying

1033
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 2: based on your bad decisions, the most.

1034
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 1: Recent, like like a near death experience kind of thing. Sure,

1035
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 1: I did some drugs that were bad a while ago.

1036
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that'll get you.

1037
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. I did some bad drugs and I felt like

1038
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 1: I was gonna die. This is why I lose in

1039
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 1: my car too. I die alone in my car.

1040
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, Yeah, you don't want that. What all right?

1041
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 2: So what were the drugs you thought you were doing?

1042
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: And then what were the drugs he ended up doing.

1043
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: I thought it was cocaine, ended up being fitting off.

1044
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:56,919
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. You don't want to be doing fentanyl alone

1045
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 2: in your car, man.

1046
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it's scary. I mean I keep it marking

1047
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: on me at all the times, just in case because

1048
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: there's a lot of druggies out here because I lived

1049
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 1: like near downtown to like they walk around my like

1050
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: they like on the street. I can hear them like

1051
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: arguing sometimes out of my window at like seven in

1052
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: the morning.

1053
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,879
Speaker 2: O guess you thought you were doing cocaine? Yeah, where

1054
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 2: did you? Where did you get the cocaine from? I'm

1055
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 2: not in an arc. I'm just you don't have to that.

1056
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 2: It was a friend okay, you got it for a friend.

1057
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know elaborate story you went on. No,

1058
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 2: all right, So did you go to the friend and say, hey,

1059
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 2: what the fuck I did?

1060
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 1: And he was like, who? I don't know. I thought

1061
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 1: it was cool, it's cool, Like, well, it's fine. And

1062
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,399
Speaker 1: now I've never bought from home.

1063
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 2: Do you still do cocaine?

1064
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,399
Speaker 1: I'm okay. I used to have a problem with it,

1065
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: but uh, I'm pretty good about it now I have

1066
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 1: good self control.

1067
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: I How did you end up living in your car?

1068
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 1: I've lived in my car like three different times, but

1069
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 1: this most recent one, uh is because me and my

1070
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: girlfriend we both moved up to uh Atlanta or down

1071
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,479
Speaker 1: to Atlanta, Yeah, and broke up all right out there,

1072
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 1: and then we moved back. They moved in with their parents.

1073
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 1: But so I just like lived in my car and

1074
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 1: was like working for a full time until I could

1075
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: get an apartment.

1076
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 2: Cool. How does it? How do you like when you're

1077
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 2: when you're living in your car? Are you like, all right,

1078
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 2: this chill, I'll just fucking do this, save up some money,

1079
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 2: or are you like, oh fuck, I hate living in

1080
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 2: my fucking car.

1081
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 1: Well, I I honestly really liked them in my car,

1082
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 1: but only when I'm like travel and I'm not like

1083
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 1: stuck somewhere at a full time job. Like taking care

1084
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 1: of myself is already kind of hard when you're like

1085
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 1: living out of your car, but when you're also having

1086
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,280
Speaker 1: a full time job. And I was working in at Kchen,

1087
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: so I was getting like smelly as buck, and I

1088
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 1: couldn't get showers all the time, so like really sucked

1089
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 1: trying to take care of myself. I was. I honestly

1090
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 1: broke down a couple of times where I just had

1091
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 1: like a break and I just fucking kind of like

1092
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: freaked out a little bit, but I made it.

1093
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: When did you move into this place that you are

1094
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 2: doing this show out?

1095
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 1: Oh July? Cool?

1096
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 2: All right, it's almost you've been there almost a year.

1097
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 2: I round up pretty like, like, well it's probably eight

1098
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 2: months ago, No, seven months ago, I could, I'll round

1099
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 2: I'll round up seven months ago to a year.

1100
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I don't know that's seven months. That's

1101
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 1: way closer to half a year. Yeah, but you round up,

1102
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 1: but it's all but you rounded down for that one

1103
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 1: half a year.

1104
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 2: Seven months has been People like to pretend like they

1105
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 2: have you know, that that a year is a long.

1106
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 2: People like to pretend that you know there's time. There's

1107
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 2: no time.

1108
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: No, no, time doesn't exist. Obviously.

1109
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:25,919
Speaker 2: What's your favorite video game? Ever?

1110
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: Uh? Tell you? Darsels.

1111
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 2: Do you anticipate that you will end up moving back

1112
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 2: into your car or do you feel pretty stable?

1113
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 1: I feel pretty stable right now. My roommate's pretty chill.

1114
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 1: I don't I pay kind of a lot, but like

1115
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:47,240
Speaker 1: I could be paying more.

1116
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 2: What do you pay?

1117
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: I'd take seven hundred without.

1118
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 2: Utilities to live in a two.

1119
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: Room? Yeah, but I have a roommate.

1120
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 2: Is your roommate your friend or your roommate?

1121
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 1: He's my homie. Uh. He was actually one of my

1122
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 1: friends who moved to Philly. He was his old.

1123
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 2: Roommate, Carmelo, Carlo Carlo. That's why I thought it was

1124
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: a candy because there's Caramelo's. Do you know what those are?

1125
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: No?

1126
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 2: I actually I don't even know if I'm saying that right?

1127
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 2: Hold on, Karamelo, Yeah, the Cadbury Caramelo. Do you know

1128
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 2: what that is?

1129
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 1: I have no idea. Dude, you don't have.

1130
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 2: To You don't have to know anything. You don't have

1131
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 2: to know anything or do anything.

1132
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: Ever. This is true, I am doing stuff.

1133
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 2: Yes, damn, Carlo can be asked with you. Yeah, you

1134
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 2: give me hope for humanity.

1135
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, man, I appreciate that there's a lot coming

1136
00:59:58,880 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: to bring.

1137
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 2: You feel like I don't I do you? Okay, we've

1138
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 2: been talking for forty one minutes. Now do you feel

1139
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 2: like I understand you at all?

1140
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I think you got a pretty good understanding.

1141
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: I mean, to fully understand me, I have to see

1142
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 1: you in person, and for that happened, you got to

1143
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 1: come out to Asheville.

1144
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 2: I want I'd like to do a show in Ashville.

1145
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 2: That could be fun. Maybe I'll try to find the

1146
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 2: thing Ashville. I've heard good stuff about Asheville. I've heard

1147
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 2: it's very it's like Portland.

1148
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 1: D vibes, right, Yeah, it's like Portland like twenty years ago,

1149
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 1: is what people say. Cool hmmm, just a little bit smaller.

1150
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of racist people out here.

1151
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 2: So I thought the I thought it was like a

1152
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 2: lot of like liberal people.

1153
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: Well yeah, in actually in Ashville, but like you go

1154
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes outside of Ashevielle, there's like giant rebel

1155
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: flags like on the highway and shit, oh okay, in

1156
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 1: North Carolina.

1157
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 2: That's most of America, though, isn't it. It's like you

1158
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:00,080
Speaker 2: have a big city and it's liberals and it's like surrounded.

1159
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 1: By Yeah, that's true, that's true, I guess. But the

1160
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: circle was kind of small for the blue. But yeah,

1161
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,720
Speaker 1: you should definitely come out here, man. It's really pretty

1162
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: and if you wanted, uh, you can just reach out.

1163
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: I would show you some cool spots out here.

1164
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 2: What times the house shutting night?

1165
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: Eight pm is when it starts, all right, So you

1166
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: having thirty doors.

1167
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,200
Speaker 2: It's four twenty six pm right now. What are you

1168
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 2: gonna do for the next three and a half. What

1169
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 2: are you gonna do for the next three hours and

1170
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 2: thirty four minutes?

1171
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 1: Well, I got the bands come in around six six

1172
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 1: thirty so that we can all get set up and

1173
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 1: do maybe a little mini sound check beforehand. But other

1174
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 1: than that, probably just scroll on my phone and listen

1175
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: to music. Maybe I already cleaned up everything, you know.

1176
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, So you just you're you're I'm

1177
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you. I'm not even I'm not just

1178
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 2: saying this shit. I don't know why. I don't know

1179
01:01:56,920 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 2: why I feel this way. I don't know why we've

1180
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 2: been There's no real good reason why why I've kept

1181
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 2: you on the phone for forty three minutes other than

1182
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 2: the fact that I just feel I've enjoyed getting to

1183
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 2: know you. I feel like you're a positive for I

1184
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: only know you. I've only known you for forty three minutes,

1185
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 2: But I just feel like I like what I I

1186
01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 2: like what you've shown me about yourself. You had a

1187
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 2: weird childhood, but you have faith. I think that's exciting.

1188
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 2: You're putting on a house show. You don't seem like

1189
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 2: you're depressed, but you know it's not. You don't seem

1190
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 2: like you're like living life in despair. I find that exciting.

1191
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. I try to do stuff because doing stuff makes

1192
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 1: me feel better. Yeah, No, you're I know, it's like

1193
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: the way you're said and done, but like it, just

1194
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,320
Speaker 1: doing stuff makes me feel better.

1195
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, you're doing great. What else? Why else do

1196
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 2: I respect your Carmelo? No, Leo, Carlo? Why else do

1197
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 2: I respect you? Carlo? You play music, which it was

1198
01:02:58,800 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 2: instant to you the best.

1199
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 1: To h I mainly play the electric guitar.

1200
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 2: You play electric guitar. Yes, that's so fucking cool. Can

1201
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 2: we listen to your music? Where can we hear it?

1202
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: I don't have anything released yet, but they can follow

1203
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: my Instagram for when I do.

1204
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 2: All right, what is it? Uh?

1205
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 1: It's slug hole a v L slug whole a v

1206
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 1: L on Instagram. Yeah, slug core out of Ashville, dude.

1207
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's awesome. This is crazy.

1208
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,320
Speaker 1: You can if I shout out my fucking uh venue

1209
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: page two venue page Yeah, for my living room, like

1210
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: the DIY venue?

1211
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 2: Do you want you want to you want to dox

1212
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:49,479
Speaker 2: your home address right now?

1213
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: No? I don't know. You get to add as to

1214
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,480
Speaker 1: the address, all right.

1215
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 2: Uh you can. But just one second? Is this a picture?

1216
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 2: Is this your hand holding a beetle and a slug?

1217
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 1: It's two slugs. One of them is really fat, but yes, oh.

1218
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah look this You just have a black Your

1219
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:09,920
Speaker 2: instagram is three photos.

1220
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: Yeah we've only told yeah.

1221
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 2: Two of them. I don't know what it is. But

1222
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 2: the other one is this is just a slug? Is

1223
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 2: your is your hand holding two slugs? I'm gonna like

1224
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:24,760
Speaker 2: it and I'm gonna I liked it and I commented,

1225
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 2: I wrote, nice.

1226
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 1: Wow, you're so uh cool.

1227
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,080
Speaker 2: I'm cool. You're the one holding two fucking slugs. Look

1228
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 2: at this picture. That is sick. All right, give me

1229
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 2: the give me the venue name.

1230
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,360
Speaker 1: What is it? What's all right? It's a cystic house

1231
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 1: c Y S t I C.

1232
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 2: Dude, what ce y S T I C Cystic house

1233
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 2: like like cystic vibrosis? Yeah, exactly, okay dot com?

1234
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 1: No, just on Instagram.

1235
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 2: Oh on Instagram, Okay, cystic house, I like that. That's

1236
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 2: not taken for sure. Instagram dot com slash cistic house. Okay,

1237
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 2: sist on my house d I y punk venue in

1238
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 2: downtown Ashville d M for booking an address. Okay. And

1239
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 2: this is tonight, insight shot with a gun, socially constricted.

1240
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 2: I'm gonna write, I'll be there. I'm not gonna I'm not, but.

1241
01:05:28,200 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 1: Well, actually, insight uh dropped. I don't remember why I said.

1242
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 1: But you're still gonna be three bands tonight.

1243
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 2: Okay, crimesh. I'd come if I could, but it's all

1244
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 2: I do. It's too able to make it white.

1245
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 1: The Violent Times Day.

1246
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 2: I didn't even Yeah, you're playing, Yeah, Violent Time's Day.

1247
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 2: Holy crap. What does a VL mean Ashville?

1248
01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 1: It's the acronym uh oh like Charlotte's colt.

1249
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 2: Oh I thought it was a sh No, it's a

1250
01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 2: v O. Okay, why'd you hold on? Wait, Carlo? Yeah

1251
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 2: you post? You made one post a month ago. Who's

1252
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 2: gonna come? Oh?

1253
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 1: People have been dming me and also the other bands

1254
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 1: have been posting it. You see likes, arond there.

1255
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 2: Do you do it? That is a lot of likes.

1256
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,560
Speaker 2: One hundred and one hundred and thirty likes is a

1257
01:06:33,600 --> 01:06:37,520
Speaker 2: lot of likes for something for like a lot? How

1258
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:39,080
Speaker 2: many how many people are you expecting?

1259
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 1: Well, I can only fit about forty people in here,

1260
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 1: maybe maybe fifty like Max, Like everyone's standing sold your shoulders.

1261
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 1: So hopefully that maybe.

1262
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:56,160
Speaker 2: We will have a food pantry organization collecting funding, so

1263
01:06:56,200 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 2: please consider donating to that. That's cool. Wait, who's this

1264
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 2: food pantry? Uh?

1265
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,200
Speaker 1: It's usually just for like a lot of the holid

1266
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:06,680
Speaker 1: victims of people who still aren't housed.

1267
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 2: Wow, damn.

1268
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 1: Yeah no, there's still a lot of like reconstruction that's

1269
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 1: going on after the hurricane hit us. There's still a

1270
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 1: lot of homeless people because of it.

1271
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 2: I fuck with you, Carlio, Thanks man, I fuck with you.

1272
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:23,960
Speaker 1: I listened to you all the time at work.

1273
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 2: M hmm, Okay, this was good this one. Thanks for

1274
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 2: doing this podcast. Thanks for calling me.

1275
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 1: This was dude. Thanks for so glad I could finally

1276
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 1: get through.

1277
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:41,439
Speaker 2: Well, we'll take a couple more. But hm hm Carlo, Yes,

1278
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:44,240
Speaker 2: how do we end this?

1279
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:49,080
Speaker 1: I don't know? You got I'm waiting for the question, honestly.

1280
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 2: All right, is there anything else you want to say

1281
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 2: to the people before we go?

1282
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 1: There is? Just fucking do shit. Like I'm fucking throwing

1283
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 1: a show in my living room. You can throw a show.

1284
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm in an apartment. You guys can fucking do shit

1285
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: if you want to do it, Just fucking do it.

1286
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 2: No, that's sick.

1287
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 1: That's all I got.

1288
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,880
Speaker 2: That's fucking cool. I'll fuck with you, man, I'll fuck

1289
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 2: with you. Carli. You I just please have have an

1290
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 2: amazing rest of your life.

1291
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 1: Man. Oh, thanks you too. Man.

1292
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:17,920
Speaker 2: You take care of Carlo. Thank you for calling.

1293
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 1: All right later bye.

1294
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 2: See Carlo like out rocks everyone follow? Uh what was

1295
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:28,800
Speaker 2: the name of the fuck?

1296
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 1: All right?

1297
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 2: Well, I said, I forget. I don't have the name

1298
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 2: of slug. I don't want to say the wrong name,

1299
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 2: but I go follow the stuff. He said, Well, yeah,

1300
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 2: the Cystic House. But what's the bands where he's holding

1301
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,840
Speaker 2: the slug. What's that called? Follow slug hoole av l

1302
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:50,760
Speaker 2: on Instagram and look at this picture with him and

1303
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 2: the slug dude. That's crazy. Thank you, Carleo. Hey, what's

1304
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:02,920
Speaker 2: up everybody. It's Lyle and I've decided that we're going

1305
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 2: to end today's podcast by reading one viewer email. Just one,

1306
01:09:12,280 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 2: just one viewer email. That's all for today. You know,

1307
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:22,960
Speaker 2: two great phone calls, two excellent phone calls to fantastic

1308
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 2: phone calls. Thank you again to Carleo and Zach for

1309
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,240
Speaker 2: their great phone calls. And we're gonna end this by

1310
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:36,960
Speaker 2: reading one final getmail before we get out of here.

1311
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:48,280
Speaker 2: So let's do it. Let's do a thing, all right?

1312
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:51,719
Speaker 2: Which one we only get one? Which one should we read?

1313
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:56,160
Speaker 2: I don't even know? All right, let's do no, this

1314
01:09:56,200 --> 01:10:01,800
Speaker 2: is hard. We only get one? All right? Now, we

1315
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,800
Speaker 2: only get one?

1316
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 1: All right?

1317
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:16,760
Speaker 2: We only get one? Uh, all right, let's do let's

1318
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:26,000
Speaker 2: do uh Ashton Great? This from Ashton, subject line, why

1319
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:30,320
Speaker 2: do I think like that? Hey, Gecko? I emailed you recently,

1320
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 2: but I kind of start tweaking often, so I'm having

1321
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 2: more thoughts. Do you ever wonder why you are thinking

1322
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:39,719
Speaker 2: the things you think? You have talked about this before,

1323
01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,640
Speaker 2: but sometimes I just feel so guilty of things that

1324
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 2: I think. Recently, my girlfriend was away on a weekend

1325
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 2: trip and the worst things just came to mind the

1326
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,799
Speaker 2: whole time. I know these thoughts have zero grand ground

1327
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:56,519
Speaker 2: to stand on in reality, and I have no reason

1328
01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,840
Speaker 2: to be thinking them, but I do. This isn't the

1329
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:01,559
Speaker 2: only example of this, but it's a recent one. I

1330
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:04,880
Speaker 2: hate being this way because it causes so much anxiety.

1331
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,400
Speaker 2: I can sometimes make me cry if it's really bad.

1332
01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:10,120
Speaker 2: I don't really want to talk to anyone about this

1333
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:13,000
Speaker 2: because I fear being looked at like a crazy person

1334
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,559
Speaker 2: or someone who has horrible thoughts but I can't control it.

1335
01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:19,320
Speaker 2: I'm not currently in therapy, but I have done years

1336
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:22,200
Speaker 2: of that in the past for totally different reasons. I'm

1337
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:25,400
Speaker 2: thinking about going back for general melancholy. Anyway, I don't

1338
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:27,120
Speaker 2: want to make this too long, and I don't think

1339
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,879
Speaker 2: I have to elaborate. I think you'll know what I mean. Thanks, Gecko,

1340
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 2: I know what you mean. In Ashton, I know what

1341
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:38,400
Speaker 2: you mean. I had literally, bro, you know want Ashton.

1342
01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:41,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give this to you, dude. Today I was

1343
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:45,639
Speaker 2: going crazy. I was going crazy today, Ashton. I don't

1344
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,080
Speaker 2: want to talk about why, but I was just going

1345
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 2: crazy and I was thinking, I was like, why am

1346
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:52,360
Speaker 2: I thinking these things? Why am I like this? I

1347
01:11:52,439 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 2: just want to be normal, And I'm feeling like I'm

1348
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:59,439
Speaker 2: having like weird thoughts that just like invalidate the rest

1349
01:11:59,439 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 2: of my existence and I don't like them, and I'm like, WHOA,

1350
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:05,519
Speaker 2: Where'd that come from? That's not me? So I know,

1351
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:14,120
Speaker 2: I know what this feels like. And it's okay to

1352
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:18,679
Speaker 2: have thoughts that you don't like. I think the difference

1353
01:12:18,720 --> 01:12:20,400
Speaker 2: is about whether or not you choose to act on

1354
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:24,000
Speaker 2: those thoughts and how you want to respond to those thoughts.

1355
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:27,960
Speaker 2: And uh, I think you know, bro, Like, it's like

1356
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:30,680
Speaker 2: we all have like venom in us, you know, venom

1357
01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 2: from Spider Man. That's how I feel sometimes, man, I

1358
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:36,680
Speaker 2: feel like I got venom. I feel like there's a

1359
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:42,000
Speaker 2: black gecko suit that tries to overtake my body, but

1360
01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:43,960
Speaker 2: you got to fight it back sometimes. You know, we

1361
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:47,160
Speaker 2: all got that venom in us. But it's about what

1362
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 2: you want to feed, right, So sometimes you got to

1363
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:52,280
Speaker 2: just let those thoughts like pass through you like a fart,

1364
01:12:52,479 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 2: and you just gotta fucking let let yourself have them,

1365
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,879
Speaker 2: Realize that they have no ground to stand on in reality,

1366
01:12:58,360 --> 01:13:00,599
Speaker 2: Realize that they're coming from a part of view that

1367
01:13:03,280 --> 01:13:05,320
Speaker 2: is just within you, but doesn't have to be the

1368
01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:10,840
Speaker 2: defining version of you that you look to. So, you know,

1369
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:14,479
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's helpful, but uh, you know,

1370
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:19,080
Speaker 2: just like this is this is kind of classic what

1371
01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:23,120
Speaker 2: is it called? This is like very classic meditation ship

1372
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:25,839
Speaker 2: But just like, let the thoughts pass through you, except

1373
01:13:25,880 --> 01:13:29,200
Speaker 2: that you had them, except that as a human being

1374
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:34,080
Speaker 2: with a conscious brain, your brain is gonna what's the

1375
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:38,160
Speaker 2: it's not the butterfly effect, what's the what's the like?

1376
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:40,400
Speaker 2: Anything that can be done will be done?

1377
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:41,080
Speaker 1: Thing?

1378
01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:47,000
Speaker 2: What's that fucking called? What's that effect? Anything that can

1379
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,720
Speaker 2: can go wrong will go wrong. What's that called Murphy's law? Yes,

1380
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:54,559
Speaker 2: your brain follows Murphy's law. Anything that can go any weird,

1381
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:59,000
Speaker 2: fucked up, insane, crazy thought that your brain can have,

1382
01:13:59,160 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 2: And your brain's gonna amazing tool. It's an amazing thing.

1383
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:09,360
Speaker 2: So your brain can do all of these crazy, beautiful, amazing,

1384
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:11,479
Speaker 2: wonderful thoughts, and then it can also have all these

1385
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:16,240
Speaker 2: crazy horrible thoughts that you don't like, and it'll have

1386
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:19,400
Speaker 2: all of them because it can, but that doesn't have

1387
01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:23,840
Speaker 2: to that's going on in your brain, that's not going

1388
01:14:23,880 --> 01:14:26,640
Speaker 2: on in your spirit and your soul and your essence. Right,

1389
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:28,479
Speaker 2: your spirit and your soul and your essence and your

1390
01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:31,800
Speaker 2: narrative and who you are, that you get to write

1391
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,400
Speaker 2: that story, not just your brain going crazy with its thoughts.

1392
01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:37,800
Speaker 2: So you know, accept that your brain's going to do

1393
01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:41,800
Speaker 2: what it does because it's crazy, and you're crazy because

1394
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:45,880
Speaker 2: you're a conscious human being, which inherently makes you fucking crazy,

1395
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 2: and trying not to let it seep into your idea

1396
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:52,280
Speaker 2: of who you are, because once you do that, then

1397
01:14:52,320 --> 01:14:55,439
Speaker 2: your thoughts then those starts start. Then then that's the

1398
01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 2: slippery slope to having those thoughts become your actions, and

1399
01:14:58,479 --> 01:15:01,160
Speaker 2: that's when things get out of hand. So so that's

1400
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:05,439
Speaker 2: what I would say to you, Ashton. That was a

1401
01:15:05,479 --> 01:15:07,479
Speaker 2: little bite. That was a little email that we read.

1402
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:11,120
Speaker 2: I hope it made any sense. I'm losing my voice,

1403
01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:14,400
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna end this podcast. Thank you again, Ashton,

1404
01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:21,479
Speaker 2: Zach and Carleo for talking to me. Everyone who has

1405
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:25,639
Speaker 2: contributed to this podcast today has been a very admirable soul.

1406
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,960
Speaker 2: I appreciate them. Go to therapy Gecko Tour dot com.

1407
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,200
Speaker 2: Please go to Therapy Gecko Tour dot com. I am

1408
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:35,200
Speaker 2: going all over the United States. A lot of the

1409
01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,639
Speaker 2: dates are not available yet, but a lot of them are,

1410
01:15:37,760 --> 01:15:42,360
Speaker 2: so go to therapy geckotour dot com right now and

1411
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:46,639
Speaker 2: buy tickets or RSVP for tickets to see my show

1412
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:50,920
Speaker 2: or don't. It's okay. Whatever you want to do with

1413
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:54,599
Speaker 2: your life, it's your life. Go live it, get blessed.

1414
01:15:54,640 --> 01:15:57,400
Speaker 2: Thank you again, goes on the line.

1415
01:15:57,680 --> 01:15:57,920
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1416
01:15:58,479 --> 01:16:01,840
Speaker 2: One calls every nine everything kept Goestro on his eye.

1417
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:04,519
Speaker 2: He's teaching you to how to have your life, but

1418
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:07,439
Speaker 2: he's not really an expert.