WEBVTT - Michelle Buteau Is Done With Suffering in Silence 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:05.920 Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.680 in partnership with I Heart Radio. Dear kids, think you're funny, 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:14.200 I don't know. I think so because they laugh at 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:16.320 me when I'm trying to be strict with them. You know, 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:18.720 I don't know what it's like having someone else like 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:29.920 a lion, just like yell at you. Hi, everybody, and 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:36.640 welcome back to Katie's Crib. This week's guest is ha Hilary. Yes, 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:39.680 if you don't know where you should. Her name is 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.960 Michelle Buteau and she is a mom of twins. She 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:49.840 had an incredibly wild, five year long journey to parenthood 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.279 that she shares all on this podcast, as well as 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:57.360 all of her amazing stories about parenthood in a pandemic 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.400 with a Dutch husband. We talk a lot about our 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.480 foul mouths. You're gonna enjoy it, but let me tell 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.959 you first about Michelle. She's a stand up comedian, she's 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:06.920 an actress, she's a podcast host. She's one of the 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.160 stars of the TV remake First Wives Club on b 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:13.760 ET Plus, and the host Slashed the voice of the 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:17.560 popular Netflix competition series The Circle. Michelle can also be 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:19.840 seen stealing scenes in some of your favorite shows in 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:23.240 films like Happiest Season, Always Be My, Maybe, Russian Doll, 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:26.920 Someone Great, and the upcoming Marry Me with Jennifer Lopez. 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:30.200 She also recently published her first book called Survival of 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.760 the Thickest. It's hilarious. Get it now. She also has 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:37.520 a one hour comedy special, Welcome to Beutopia. I Love 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:40.400 It so much and streaming on Netflix now, and the 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.559 special recently won the Critics Choice Television Award for Best 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.520 Comedy Special. We are so lucky to have Michelle on 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:54.360 Katie's Crib. This interview is going to make guys laugh. Michelle, 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:57.800 thank you for coming on to Katie's Crib today. I 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.640 mean wow, I am a huge fan of yours, like 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:04.160 you have no idea. That is so nice. Thank you 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:07.600 for those words. I am also a huge fan. Okay, 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:11.799 you have two year old twins, Hazel and Otis. Yeah, 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:15.400 did you know you always wanted to be a mom? Like, 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:17.840 were you a kid that wanted to do this? Yeah? 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.680 I oh, I knew that. I always wanted to be 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.959 a mom and work before I even knew I wanted 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.240 to get married. I never even thought about getting married. 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.320 I couldn't picture who that person would be because I 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:31.720 never liked people past three weeks and I'm like, I 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.160 don't know what that is, but I know what motherhood 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.399 is and I'm down for that. My uncle's the archbishop 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:42.280 of Jamaican and he does more baptisms than weddings. So 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:45.000 people are just out here having babies, but like not together. 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:47.320 So I was like, yeah, that's what I want. But 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:53.160 you know, wow, it's been a zay because the twins 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.760 just started daycare a couple of weeks ago, haven't been 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:59.720 sick for a year because they've been home, got another sick, 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:03.280 then they have to be home with me this week. 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.360 But I also come into my husband to take a 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.679 boy's trip to Tijuana this week because he needs to 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.080 get the funk out of the house because I'm like, 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:12.720 I need to miss you. You need to go, Like, 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:14.840 you know, it's bad when you can't even stand the 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.320 way your husband breathes and I'm like, I'm glad he's 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.079 got breath in his body. I don't need to hear it. 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:24.320 I know, let's talk how has having your twins in 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:28.280 a pandemic? How old are they there too? And just 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:33.440 a couple few January so too yeah, I don't know. 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.920 I know they're not paying taxes. They don't need to know. 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:43.120 How was pandemic twindom for you? Yeah, We've had an 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:47.320 amazing nanny who specializes in twins, so she basically taught 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:50.240 us how to be parents, which is amazing. Um. But 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.880 with the pandemic, she had to go on quarantine. We 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.760 had to go on quarantine. There's always been people in 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:58.480 the house, friends or family to help us, so I 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.160 was like, how are we going to do this? It 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.720 was scary at first because it was like snorkeling, you 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.320 know where it's like it's beautiful, but I can't read. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.760 But then we just like it was all scheduled, so 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:13.680 I was like, husband has in this hour. I have 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.680 in this hour. We tag team to take a ship. 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:17.520 Depending on what the day is, we go to this 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.839 corner of the house. At eleven twelve o'clock, we go upstairs, 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:23.200 you know, so we try to like make it fun 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.520 for all of us. UM edibles help definitely after four o'clock. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.240 I timed it out with their bathtime and by the 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.039 time they go to bed, no big deal. I don't 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.320 do them all the time. I just did the whole 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:35.600 bedtime routine, like on a really nice buzz and I 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:39.400 was like, oh, this is so much more fucking fun, 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.279 Like what have I been doing? Like why have I 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:44.799 not been doing this? Um? Yeah, but it's true. It's true. 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:48.400 So there are so many aspects of your memoir, survival 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.440 of the thickest that did you read it? It's so 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.760 fucking I've told you I'm a huge fan. What are 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:58.360 you talking about? Damn it. I'm honored to get you. 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.640 I think you're amazing. You know not everyone is very 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:07.160 open um about their fertility experience, about their motherhood experience, 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:11.320 And when someone is, I'm like, very very excited for 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:15.440 me and for our Katie's Cript community, because I think 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:18.960 a lot of women are. We suffer in silence. We suffer. 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.159 We're supposed to be perfect and it's fucking not. We 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:24.800 have really heavy periods, put on a tight dress, go 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.000 to work, try to keep up with everybody else better 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.679 than everybody else, making less money, doing all the things, 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:31.880 have to apologize for being the smartest person in the room. 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:34.080 So yeah, we suffer in silence. It's how we've been 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.600 taught in almost in every country for thousands of thousands 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:41.560 of years, and now I'm just like fun yeah, funck 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:45.240 the noise, Fuck the noise. You were on a very 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:49.320 long fertility journey, which is a part of your act too. 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.440 I've seen you talk about like it was five years, 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:57.880 five years, um, four miscarriages, countless needles. The way I 0:05:57.920 --> 0:05:59.520 look back on it is the way people look back 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.479 on corn teen, where people are like, God, I didn't know. 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.760 I was so busy, like running away from my family, 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:07.479 like always doing this, always doing that, And so for 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.719 me looking back on those five years, I'm just like God, 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.080 I can't believe I'm still you know, I just had 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:15.480 a d n C and then like hosted for Rosie 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:18.200 O'Donnell like three days later, just because I needed some 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:22.080 sense of normalcy. But also, like Base, you could barely walk. 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:27.200 So your miscarriages were they far along? No, they were 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:30.600 all between six and nine weeks. And I'm sure a 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.320 lot of your listeners know with IVF it's like you're 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:37.279 prepping your body for so many months to think it's pregnant. 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:41.920 So all four of them were IVF. Also, yeah, every yeah, 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:46.840 I've been a project that is also so expensive. It 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:50.159 was beyond and out of pocket, because God forbid, you 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:53.039 want to try to have a family going down an 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:56.920 alternative route because just old white man, please stop. No, 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.640 it's really bad our insurance, our health care system. It 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.039 is a fleet disaster. Or the only country in the 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:04.919 world that has no paid maternity leave. Great, isn't that 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.960 so great? And my husband from Holland, these women get 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.080 a whole year and when they come back to work, 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:12.920 they can come back to work three days a week 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:18.520 and still get paid for five because they appreciate parenthood 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:22.760 motherhood so much. And that's why these motherfuckers live longer, 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:28.240 all riding bikes, eating fish oil. They're riding so many bikes. 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:32.360 It's too much. It's too much. It's unbelievable. So okay 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:35.800 for miscarriages, And then how did you finally come to 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.160 the decision that a surrogate was going to be your road? 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.840 And then tell me about I think there was surrogacy 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.240 loss situation because you were doing this in New York 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.200 and there was probably a ton of barriers. I mean, 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:51.080 I say, wasn't legal in New York unless you're related 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.800 to the person, And I'm like, that is And it 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:57.400 only became legal I think last year. Yeah, June was 0:07:57.520 --> 0:07:59.720 last year. So when I sort of went through this 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.440 n and started talking about it. I was on Wendy 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.840 Williams talking about it, and Andy Cohen saw the interview 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.160 and he reached out to me and he's like, I 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.880 have been trying to lobby for surrogacy in New York. 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.920 It's in the budget. I need people on board. They're 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:16.320 trying to make it like a rich thing, a gay things, 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:20.200 just like so ridiculous. And so I went to all 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:22.920 of me with him and a bunch of other fears, 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:28.880 asked people just the stories. You know. It wasn't exhausting 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.640 being out for eight hours just talking to people. It 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:35.360 was exhausting, like living through people's grief all over again. 0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:37.160 And we've all been on this other side of it 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.120 where we're like, Okay, now we can look back and 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.439 talk about it. And now you have like this elevator 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:45.199 pitch for your your trauma, which is what you need 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:47.400 to go into these rooms to make sure happen. And 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.120 it was like just fucking bananas, because I was like, yeah, 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.199 I've narrowed it down to six sentences or less to 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.720 try and keep people's attention. So I was like, I 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.240 see all of you, and it was really bananas. And 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.480 I even you know so hard not to cry every 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:01.880 damn and but I was like, God, where were you 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:05.280 people when I was going through this because there was 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.120 no one to talk to, which was so crazy for 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:10.800 me because I know way too many people. How do 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.360 I have not one person I could talk to about this, 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:18.599 not even my therapist. Why it's really, it's so ridiculous 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:21.839 and it and it happens more than we know. Oh yeah, 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.880 and and honestly, it's why I'm so appreciative of you 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.480 being so open. Gabrielle Union was on last year and 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:32.880 she had a surrogate, but she has U dinometriosis and 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:37.559 she got the help that she needed because Lena Dunham 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.400 has the same thing and posted something about it. So 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.360 Gabrielle reached out to Lena and was like, please help, 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.920 and Lena like and so it's like you keep paying 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.320 it forward, you know what I mean. Now that you've 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.320 made this step, it's like, now you influence other people. 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:56.080 So oh of course, oh my gosh, of course you do. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:00.240 Um Okay, So how did you find your surrogate? How 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:04.559 was the pregnancy experience? Was it insane? Like Ted, tell 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.000 tell me about that, Tell me about the whole journey. 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:15.760 Of like actually getting her pregnant. All of this, um well, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.560 um well, when you do I V f right. You 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.560 have to go to the clinic at least three days 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:29.000 a week for sonogram's blood tests, pay for your medicine 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.240 out of pocket. You just feel like you're Carmela Soprano 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:35.440 and you're like Tony any money, you know, and it's 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:41.800 just like ridiculous. And so after the last miscarriage, my doctors, 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.040 who are amazing, We're like, we want you to walk 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.360 out of this office pregnant far along and they were 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:51.000 so great, but my body was just so tired that 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:53.280 I was like I can't do this anymore and I 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.320 don't know what to do. And then they sit you 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.520 down and give you the pamphlet with surrogacy and you're 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:04.760 like what is this? And my doctor worked with a 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.920 couple of surgacy agencies that he really trusted, and so 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.559 I just I was like the girl who just got 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.520 the license at the car dealership. I'm like, tell me 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:14.000 where to go and tell me what to do. I 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:17.520 can't make any more decisions for myself, and so I 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.280 just called up this agency and it was really hard 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:21.959 to just even get an appointment. I was like, oh 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.040 my god, how long is this gonna take. It's still 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.160 a whole step. And as things started to happen and 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.440 we were meeting and they were like, do you have 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.800 any more questions? It's sort of like going back to 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.679 work with COVID. I can't think of questions for something 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.920 that's never happened before. So it's really just as we 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:44.439 go along, and then there's some questions. It's so personal 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:49.880 you're like, am I even allowed to ask? As you know, 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:58.680 it is a very weird, wild emotional experience um going 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.280 through surrogacy without even knowing anyone that's done it. It 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:06.560 feels like you're on a roller coaster ride in the dark, 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:10.600 but people keep telling you it's gonna be beautiful, don't worry, 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:12.920 keep holding on, but you don't know when the next 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.920 thing happens. It's a it's a huge miracle of fact 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.560 that anyone is born. Remember that when you have grown rage. 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:23.960 The fact that anyone if born is crazy, you know 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.920 what I mean. It's just like, oh damn, mo, I'm 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.400 went through something I know and I'm so I'm sitting 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:33.200 here just thinking, like my god, like this is a 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:37.080 fucking journey. It was weird and everyone I know who's 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:41.520 had IVF or even just egg freezing, the hormonal ship 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:45.120 of Yeah, like getting your drugs and then having your 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.080 partner or yourself or whoever putting them into your body 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:51.520 and then feeling sick and bloated and all this, and 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.520 you did that so many times, and then to go 0:12:54.640 --> 0:13:00.280 through a surrogacy um agency, I mean unbelievab Well, so 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.480 how did you check in with your surrogate? We spoke 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.080 every day. I would check in with her every day 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:08.120 to see how she was feeling. Because at this point 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.120 when the babies were born, I felt like I had 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:14.840 already met them. When I was like going through IBM, 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:19.760 between the miscarriages and everything, I was like, I need 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:24.079 to meet these souls. You know, did you everything twins 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:27.680 was a possibility? How did that information come your way? 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.960 I did not know what was in store. I knew 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:36.920 that we had um some embryos bank. I knew that. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.360 In terms of being safe about it and being sure 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:45.640 about it, it's like, let's put it, yes, exactly, let's 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.800 put in a few because the chances and the odds, 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:53.599 and you know, one takes, one might not take ex exactly. 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.200 It's kind of gross how people think we just wake 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.320 up and we're just like, I don't want to ruin 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.520 my body and I have money to spend. It's either 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.960 kids or a boat, So let's get a kid with 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.439 curly hair and make sure it's like that's not what 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:09.760 we're out here doing. This is like a last ditch 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:13.400 effort of I really hope I get to make this 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.720 family happen and meet these souls that we've worked so 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:20.000 hard to have, right, and so yeah, I mean it 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:24.120 was just so crazy, like proper educated people asking me 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:29.160 was like plaques on the wall making important decisions, asking 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:33.080 me stuff like that, you know, like you know, it's 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:38.560 just so crazy. Yeah, people are people just don't understand 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:42.480 what it is or how it works because we're people 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.240 are so selfish and never think outside of their like 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.000 five mile radius in their head to say, oh, I 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.880 don't want that, but you do, so it's still worthy 0:14:51.160 --> 0:15:08.200 and it's like, what the fuck? So when did you 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.880 get the call that it was twins? Was it around 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.000 the twelve week mark or something? Yeah, I think it 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.120 was a couple of weeks, but it was because there 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:18.240 was some bleeding. You We're like, oh no, in my mind, 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:21.120 I'm like, here we go again. But when we did 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:24.080 an ultrasound, there was two heartbeats and I was like what. 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.400 But like, even up until the second they were born, 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.200 I was like, I don't want the other shoe to 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:33.320 fucking drop right right, because you've had you been through 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.960 such trauma that you were like, there's no way this 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.200 is going to work out. There's no way. It hasn't 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.920 worked out up until now. So like at some point 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.480 some ship is going to hit the fan that is 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.120 unexpected or whatever. I have felt that so many I mean, 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:50.440 I had miscarriages and stuff like that before. Um does 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:55.520 it ever leieve you though? I mean you, yes, yes, 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.480 for sure. I mean and even going through this year. 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.040 I pregnant during the pandemic and it was just hard 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.320 being pregnant and isolated and even my labor, I was like, 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.360 something's going to go horribly wrong, right, Like, something's gonna 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:15.880 go horribly wrong. There's no way that like you know, um, hello, 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:20.080 here's my child. Hey, Albi, I'm busy talking to my 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:24.600 friend Michelle. Okay, okay, we love you. Have a good 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.400 day at school. All be just started school too, Oh 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.080 my goodness, two weeks ago. I'll be this is my 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:38.880 friend Michelle. Hi, ok are you what did he say? Hi? 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.600 Poopy Michelle, You're welcome. We're big at the body talk 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:45.640 right now. I had a good poopy too, Thanks for asking. 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.840 She had a good poopy too, Thanks for asking, she said, yeah, 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:56.240 I'll come tune. You can't. Started school also, and in 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:01.000 two days was sick. Two days, I hold, my husband 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.160 got a cold, my baby got a cold. I was like, 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.040 is this a joke? This is what we're and also 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:08.239 is it COVID? And are we freaking out? And what 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:11.280 are we doing? And everyone told me, your kid's gonna 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.440 get sick in the first two weeks. Oh my goodness. 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.280 So it's for as far as school is concerned, Like, 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:18.720 how did your kids adjust to being in school with 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.760 other kids being around? It was so hard And this 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.720 is the personal decision for me. But I was trying 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.040 to find a daycare where they weren't required to wear 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.800 masks because they're two years old. I'm in the same 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:33.080 boat his his doesn't require masks either. Yeah, So the 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.320 fact that I found one, I'm like dope. And then 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.239 it was a whole kitten caboodle of just like they 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:40.400 better be nice to my children. Are there are there 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:42.639 cameras But they weren't cameras, but they sent you updates 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:44.920 and there's an I'm like, send me updates all the time. 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.639 So I was like that bitch, and I was like, 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:49.800 oh they like it. Look at them porn stuff and 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:55.000 listening and doing yoga and um yeah. They were the 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:56.560 only two in the class, and I was like, where 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:58.800 the rest of the kids. They're like, oh, this is it. 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.520 The whole point was for them to be socialized. No way, 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.840 there are no kids in the class. There's no kids 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.600 in the class. And like, why am I saying there 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:08.760 with no peanut butter if there's no kids in the class. 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:14.760 So finally there's another kid, but he's only there, he's 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.720 there part time. Where are the children? Where are they are? 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:20.760 They all sick with the same cold that you gave 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:23.560 your kids and they'll be back next week. No, there's 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:26.640 you know, it's so fun. There's like a twenty four 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.160 month cut off and then like a two year old thing, 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.240 so all the kids, I have a fun twenty four 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.919 months under That's why I'm like, this month is bullshit, 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:39.479 that's not true. I I mean, I'm really whatever my school. 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:41.080 I'm not trying to be like my school's better, but 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.879 it's not. But I'm just saying probably it's mixed age 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.960 and I and I fucking love it because my child 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:52.760 is such like needs um. Although God like you have twins, 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.919 they had each other during the pandemic. My child became 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.760 a nightmare. But it was alone the entire pandemic, and 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.439 the sun moon stars sets on this fucking kid and 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.240 it's like he is needs to go to school, like 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:08.200 he got bit yesterday, and I was thrilled about it. 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.440 I was like for a little boy. They were fighting 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.280 over a toy and a little boy like used his 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:15.120 teeth not he didn't even break this like it wasn't 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.520 a bad one. But I was like, yes, like my 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:21.240 child needs to get out there and learn this ship 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:24.120 like you can't hit your friends, you gotta fight over toys. 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.720 You gotta learn to use your words, like I can't 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.360 teach you that by yourself. That's you know what. I'm 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.680 the only child, and I was I was just like, 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:35.440 I hope to have siblings because it was so much 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:38.800 I had to figure out by myself on that playground. Okay, 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:41.679 you find out it's twins even on their birth you 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:43.480 were like this ship is not going to work out. 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.520 Something's gonna go something. I hope this ship works out, 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:49.480 is what I was saying. But like baby girl came 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.280 right out, Baby boy was reached. You know. Even then 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:55.360 after like you don't sleep in the in the hospital, 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:57.440 You're just looking at them and then like you fall 0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:01.199 asleep standing up like a horse. Started getting like all 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.399 these like ailments. My ankles hurt, my knees hurt. You know, 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.359 I had sciatica, and my husband's like, we have to 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:11.240 put them in their room and you need to fucking sleep. 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:14.480 I just was so paranoid. I had to like look 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.720 in the crib every noise they made to make sure 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:20.159 they're gonna be okay. Of course, of course, did you 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:22.600 do the first bunch of weeks alone? Did you have 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.560 a night nurse? Did you have any help? We were 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:27.840 alone and I was doing like the adult NG podcast, 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:30.520 and I did like a Drew Barrymore movie, and weren't 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:33.639 you doing? Um? I think you were doing Always Be 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:36.040 My Maybe, which I've also seen, and you were amazing 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:40.160 and your character was fully pregnant. It was literally that 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:44.080 week that the surrogate was getting transferred with the embryos, right, yeah, 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:48.600 it was the week where I shot the scene where 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:51.800 I had given birth where she was getting her transfer, 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:56.679 and I was like, wow, this is crazy. I was 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.600 like just so wild and thank god weed's legal and 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:01.600 bank over and not like I bought it, but I 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:03.320 was like, it's good to have options. I just got 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:08.080 a seafood tower and cried it's here. So how did 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.760 you feel when you first laid eyes on them? Was 0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:15.240 it an immediate love at first sight? Did it feel real? 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:18.000 Did you feel outside of yourself? It still doesn't feel real. 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:22.200 It's such a weird combination of like, I love you, 0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:25.119 your mind, I don't know you, who are you? You 0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.080 picture them when you like are in the cute phase 0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:30.399 with your partner, and then you see them, You're like, 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:32.800 what the funk? That's not what I thought. But it's 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:35.200 still so much better, But also what the So it's 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.399 still I still feel like no one can do it 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:38.800 better than me, and I still feel like I have 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:41.080 no idea what I'm doing, Like all at the same time, 0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:43.480 and I don't know how to describe it any other 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:47.240 way was pretty perfect. I know you, but I don't 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.000 know you at all. And I know what I'm doing, 0:21:50.400 --> 0:21:52.119 but I don't know what I'm doing at all, Like 0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:56.160 it's really that is it? It's really what it is? Now? 0:21:56.200 --> 0:22:02.000 How um, how was it taking care of wins? You know, twins, 0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:05.440 no matter how old they are, you never really feel 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:11.320 like you're giving them enough attention because um one, like 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:14.920 baby girls definitely more outgoing than baby boy, but because 0:22:14.920 --> 0:22:17.560 we're always like clapping for her because she's doing a dance, 0:22:18.040 --> 0:22:19.880 like I want to make sure that baby boy knows 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:25.120