1 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. It is Sunday, March twenty ninth. It 2 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 1: is spring, and for all of you single folks out 3 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: there who are looking for love, we've got the top 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: new dating trends of twenty twenty six. And I don't 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: know why it's fun for us coupled up folks to 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: even maybe just look at all the folks looking for 7 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: love and seeing what's hot, what's not what. 8 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 2: People are looking for these days. 9 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 1: I get a big kick out of looking at these 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: dating trends and the words that folks come up with 11 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: to describe them. Maybe it's just me, but without everyone, 12 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 1: welcome to this episode of Amy and DJ. 13 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: I don't know, Baby, do you get into it too? 14 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: Do you get as tickled by some of these trends 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,959 Speaker 1: and how they name them as I do? 16 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 3: I get concerned that the person I'm engaged to marry 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 3: is so interested in dating trends. That's where I am 18 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 3: on this whole. Then I don't find it. Maybe I 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 3: would find it cute or funny if it wasn't my 20 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 3: fiance who keeps bringing these things to me. But sure, 21 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 3: let's go have a good time talking about what it'd 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 3: be like to date these days. Hmmm, sounds fun. 23 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: I think I look at it through this lens. He 24 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: went through a lot to be together. We went through 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: lots of other relationships and made a ton of mistakes 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: along the way. And I think it's interesting from a 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: sociological standpoint to take a look and see how people 28 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 1: try to find their one and what works, what doesn't, 29 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: and how things change and evolve. 30 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 2: You know, in our kids. 31 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: My daughters are obviously in the middle of that era 32 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:40,919 Speaker 1: in their. 33 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 2: Lives, and your young one is about to enter it. 34 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 3: Okay, that's just that's okay, now you you're going too far. 35 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 3: Now she's thirteen. 36 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 2: That's when it starts. I know you started to hear 37 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 2: way that. 38 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: Boy, it's not as a father. 39 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: You need to know this. 40 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 3: I need to know what the dating trends are. 41 00:01:59,520 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: You might. 42 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 2: No, this is fun. 43 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: This is fun because Cosmo actually explained why why there 44 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,839 Speaker 1: were so many new terms, and I thought this was cool. 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 2: They said it creates a shared. 46 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: Language that we can all use to talk about the 47 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: confusing and sometimes even frustrating. 48 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 2: Parts of looking for love. 49 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: I think that is isn't that part of the goal 50 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: for most people? Maybe they don't even realize it, but 51 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: that is what we tend to do. We spend our 52 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: lives looking for love, looking for that relationship. 53 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 3: Why though we're looking for is that really the purpose? 54 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 3: When people go out there and they start dating, they 55 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 3: get on these dating apps, are you really looking for love? 56 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 3: I don't know what people are looking for necessarily these days. 57 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 3: That was just an article it wasn't in the Times 58 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 3: today about how people have turned on marriage, the idea 59 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 3: of marriage these days. I don't know dating these days, 60 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 3: I don't know what people are looking at yet. 61 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: Well, there might not be a shared goal, and that's 62 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: part of some of these new trends. But I do 63 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: think everyone wants to feel loved, to feel seen, to belong, 64 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: to have a partner, to have someone to go through 65 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: life with. 66 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, as many people don't necessarily admit that. 67 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 3: That's just human nature. It is just in us. You 68 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 3: don't want to be alone. Nobody does. Even if you 69 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 3: tell yourself that mentally, man, nobody wants that. So yeah, 70 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,359 Speaker 3: it's a struggle for a lot of people. And it's 71 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 3: I mean, it could be a challenge, it could be frustrating, 72 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 3: but it is rewarding, it is fulfilling. So and you 73 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 3: talk about all these the names they give. Isn't that 74 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 3: just social media? These bigs it is? 75 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 2: It's TikTok and social media. 76 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: But I do think there is something cool about having 77 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: a shared experience with someone where you can actually relate 78 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: to it with the term yeah, I want that or 79 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: that happened to me. And I just think that it 80 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: creates a sense of belonging. When you have a shared experience, 81 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: you put. 82 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: A name on it. 83 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: It's kind of funny and somehow it just it makes 84 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: it all make a little more sense maybe, And this 85 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: whole notion of not feeling alone, that other people are 86 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: experiencing or want the same things. 87 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 2: We're all looking for that we all want to belong. 88 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 3: We want labels, We want an easy way to categorize 89 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 3: ourselves this or on that which is not. I don't 90 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 3: find that to be the best way to go about it, 91 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 3: but I see and social media aide. With so many 92 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 3: videos and so limited and how much you can say 93 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 3: and how much time you can say it, and how 94 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 3: many characters you can use, it's easy to have just 95 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: one word to say that this is blank and what 96 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 3: I don't even know what was it? Leg you'd have 97 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 3: me do one real light. 98 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 2: That was one of the newest. 99 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: That was when you you go someone for a bit 100 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: and then you come back and you try to make 101 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,359 Speaker 1: them think that you never left. 102 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 3: Like nothing ever happened, which is hilarious. 103 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: Okay, so see everyone ghost people might have a story 104 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: like that and they feel seen when there's a label 105 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: that it happened to other people too. So yeah, I've 106 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: been ghostly or I've done the ghost lighting, but most 107 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: people wouldn't admit that. I do think let's have some 108 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: fun here, but there are some actual interesting discussions about 109 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: where we are is a societ when it comes to 110 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: finding that person. So I think that there are some 111 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: really interesting details in the fun of giving these labels. 112 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 3: The first one, how many you got? 113 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: I picked out the ones that I hadn't heard of before, 114 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: so I've got lessie, I've got one, two, three, four, 115 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 1: five dating trends, and then I've got labels for the 116 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: type of partner you're looking for. 117 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,239 Speaker 2: So I run this is thorough. 118 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 3: I didn't even though they were five dating trends out there. 119 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: I chose the ones we haven't already talked about. We 120 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: don't already know ghost lighting was among them, but I 121 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: thought we've already been there, done that. 122 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 2: So how about this one? Schalance? 123 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 3: Chalance? 124 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 2: Guess what chalance is? This is a new dating trend chalance. Schalance. 125 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 3: Is it shalancing? Or I got chalance? Or we are 126 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 3: in a schalance like romance. 127 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: It's the type of relationship you're looking for, a chalance relationship. 128 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 3: Put them together a lance. So I'll go romance at 129 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 3: the end, and then I'll say shell so as ay'll love. 130 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 3: A relationship is a schalance. 131 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 2: You're hilarious. The opposite of nonchalance, the opposite. 132 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: So you want a partner who isn't afraid to go 133 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: all in, who isn't nonchalant. 134 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 2: It's basically the opposite of a situationship, right, use. 135 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 3: That in the sentence for me? Used the chalance in 136 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 3: a sentence Seriously, I am struggling. 137 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 2: I want a chalance relationship. 138 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: They want a partner who puts in the effort, who 139 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: goes into the relationship saying I am all in. I 140 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: want this to work. I am looking for a serious 141 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: partner versus someone who's like, eh, we'll see what happens. 142 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm nonchalant about it. We'll like, we'll 143 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: see where we end up. Okay, you want someone to 144 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: go in with an agenda and someone who's looking for 145 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: an outcome of permanence. 146 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 3: Okay, married at first sight. Those are all people who 147 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 3: would classify as shalance. 148 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 2: You just nailed it all. 149 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: You know what, you just nailed The reason why I 150 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: merited first Sight has been so successful, and we've seen 151 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: so many people show up for the auditions because they 152 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: are saying, I am ready, I am ready for a 153 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: chalance relationship. 154 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 3: And everybody who is there clearly wants to get married 155 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 3: and wants to take it seriously. 156 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 2: There you go. 157 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 3: That's coming together next one. 158 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 2: It took me a second. This is gonna be fun. 159 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: Sledging is a dating trend. It's a dating trend, sledging, 160 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: sledge sledge. 161 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 3: I immediately go to hammer. 162 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 2: I did too, but I was wrong. 163 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 3: Okay, schlepping, that's not the same. 164 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna get it because I was 165 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: kind of blown away. So think about the sled sledging 166 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: a sled. Okay, so let me I'll explain this. So 167 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: the the definition is getting into a cuffing season relationship 168 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: with the intention of breaking things off by spring. 169 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 2: I mean this is really dark. 170 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: So basically you're sledging the other person because the other 171 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: person didn't know that the relationship had an expiration date. 172 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: And how they explain it is sledged a sled. Okay, 173 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: the sled is the act of dragging someone through the 174 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: snow in the wintertime with no intention of actually continuing 175 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: the relationship once you get to warmer weather. 176 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 3: Now are we on the same page? Do people enter 177 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: relationships with the understanding that all this is is a 178 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 3: sledge relationship? 179 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: They said that in most of these cases, the other 180 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: person has no idea they're being sledged, but someone goes 181 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: in with an agenda, Hey, I really would like to 182 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: couple up with someone during the cold months. 183 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 2: Once it gets warm. 184 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 1: I'm running, I got my tan on, I'm going to 185 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: be looking for playing all summer long. 186 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 3: Okay, isn't that just the same as a summer love 187 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,959 Speaker 3: or a flinging. 188 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,719 Speaker 1: But you've entered into a relationship during a period of 189 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: time when a lot of people get serious and start 190 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: building on a foundation of something to then carry it 191 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: into the spring and summer. 192 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 3: And you're speaking of nefarious intent, like you go into 193 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 3: it meaning to fool somebody into thinking you're going to. 194 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: I've been sledged or I am sledging someone. Yes, it's 195 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: a very negative term, but people describe relationships that suddenly 196 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: they found themselves being sledged. 197 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 3: I'm saying, but the sledge error is that person. Are 198 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 3: they suggesting that person knows what they're doing, they're going 199 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 3: into it. Okay, that's problem. 200 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,359 Speaker 2: Yes, so it's kind of like a beware of a sledge. 201 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 3: Gotcha, gotcha? 202 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 2: Okay, how about this one. 203 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 1: Another big trend of twenty twenty six is the friend 204 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: fluence romance. So according to Tinder, they have like a 205 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: big year ender. I think we might have even talked 206 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: about it. And in their year ender, they found that 207 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: forty two percent of singles say their friends are the 208 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: major influence on their love life. 209 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 2: So they let their. 210 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: Friends kind of help guide them whether or not to 211 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: date someone or not, and they say, you're gonna love 212 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: You're not. 213 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 2: A part of this trend. 214 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: Thirty seven percent of folks on tenders say they are 215 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: looking to go on double dates and group dates, like 216 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: they want to their friends into their relationship. So they 217 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: want to have somebody who fits in well with their 218 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 1: friend group, and that's a huge part of their decision 219 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: as to who they date, and then they also look 220 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: at their friends love lives as a huge source of 221 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: hope for their own. So everything they're seeing their friends 222 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: do is influencing who they pick, who they choose to date, 223 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: and why they choose to date. 224 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 3: That that sounds practical. You want somebody to fit into not 225 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 3: just your mold, but the things you have going. I 226 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 3: think I don't have that big of a problem with it, 227 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 3: but it could. It could lead you to closing the 228 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 3: door on something good or great, or quite frankly, you 229 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 3: give other people in your life too much power. They 230 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: might be the problem in your relationship and your relationship 231 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 3: not the problem in your friendships. 232 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 2: I think we've heard this on dating. We watch a 233 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 2: lot of dating shows. 234 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: If anyone who listens to our podcast knows, we love 235 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: our dating shows. But they talk about outsourcing your relationship 236 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: and basically letting your friends basically have way more of 237 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: a say than they should in terms of who you 238 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: date and why you date them because of what they 239 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,079 Speaker 1: think about them or how they fit into the group. 240 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: And they just given social media and the way people 241 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: are operating younger folks are operating these days, that's a 242 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: huge part of dating. The name of it again, its 243 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: friend sorry, friendfluence influence. 244 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 3: You're in a friend fluence relationship. 245 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Next one, zip coding zip Ooh and 246 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: it can have there's two different meanings of this, so 247 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: even if you get one of them, I'll give you kudos. 248 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 3: Wait a minute, they had two different means zip coding. 249 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can mean one of two things, and it's 250 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: actually really they're very different. 251 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, it just sounds like you're dating specific to 252 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 3: geographic regions for whatever purpose suits you. 253 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 2: You nailed it. 254 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: Okay, So the first one would be to date only 255 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: in a small radius for the people who live nearby, 256 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: because you want to have like just access, so you 257 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: you limit mostly like if you're on a dating app 258 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: or whatever, you really limit who you're willing to date. 259 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 3: Oh that makes it. 260 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, something does to me too. 261 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: But here's the one that I was like, whoa have 262 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: you ever heard of this? Zip coding can also mean 263 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: having a location dependent relationship. 264 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 2: I think we do know people like. 265 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: This in our lives, where you're only together when you're 266 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: in the same zip code, and when you're not in 267 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: the same zip code, you're a single. 268 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 269 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: I'm always amazed how that works. We have seen it, 270 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 3: seen it work for years. 271 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,439 Speaker 2: Actually, that's exactly what I was thinking of. 272 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, it wouldn't work for me, and 273 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: I marvel at the fact. But when I read this, 274 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: I immediately thought of some folks we know, and I 275 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,959 Speaker 1: just thought, wow, I guess it. 276 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 2: Is a thing. 277 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 3: And when you said I immediately thought of ludacrous. Do 278 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 3: you remember that song area codes? You said, zip codes? 279 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 3: We has a song, whole song I got holes in 280 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 3: different area codes. That's the first thing I thought about. 281 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: How all right, so this is an age old practice apparently, 282 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: all right, zip. 283 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,439 Speaker 3: Codes though not area codes. Zip codes on this zip codes. 284 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:00,959 Speaker 1: All right, here's the last dating trend monkey barring. Can 285 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:01,839 Speaker 1: you guess what it is? 286 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 3: It's don't please to tell me. This is not for 287 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 3: parents who hook up when they take their kids to 288 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 3: the playground, guest. 289 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: No, So this is basically laying the groundwork for a 290 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 1: new relationship before you end your current one. So they 291 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: describe it as dangling between two monkey bars, gripping one 292 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: hand on your current partner while reaching out for someone 293 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: new at the same time. 294 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, you're the only one's going to laugh at this, 295 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 3: But that immediately made me think of a line for 296 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 3: Mission Impossible to The bad guy said about Thandy Newton, 297 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 3: who was between the two guys at the time, said, 298 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 3: you know, women like monkeys. They are never let go 299 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 3: over one branch before they get a hold of the next. 300 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 2: Again, apparently this is true. 301 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: This is something that has been cemented in cinematic history. 302 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 3: That's okay, I have a weird brain. That line immediately 303 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 3: comes to mind. 304 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 2: I knew you didn't have to this. It's funny. 305 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: We sat down full disclosure before we did this, and 306 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: I said, Babe, we're just gonna have some fun with this. 307 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 2: I'm going to talk about some dating trends. You'll be fine. 308 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 2: Of course, your your memory is hilarious. 309 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: Your brain goes right in the exact perfect places that 310 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: it needs to see. 311 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 3: And if people haven't figured this out yet, I had 312 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 3: no idea about any of these dating trends. See every 313 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 3: once in a while we do these issues that he 314 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 3: got some for you. You're gonna have a good time. So 315 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 3: I hadn't heard of any of these, so I'm hearing 316 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 3: them for the first time. Say the name monkey, monkey barring. Okay, 317 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 3: do you think that is a good or bad thing, 318 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 3: a bad practice, or oh not. 319 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 2: I think it's terrible. 320 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 1: I think I think you absolutely if you have done this, 321 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: and plenty of us can admit that we have, you 322 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: have to ask yourself, why why can't I be alone? 323 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: Why can't I be in between relationships? Why can't I 324 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: take time to reflect about done this? I feel like 325 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: it's been no, not exactly but close enough. 326 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 2: For people. You needed more time on your own, You 327 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: needed to take some time. 328 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: I do think, yeah, oh my god, to be keeping 329 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 1: one person as an option while you're looking to see 330 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: if there's a better one available. That's terrible and manipulative, 331 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: not true to the spirit of what we're actually talking about, 332 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 1: which is about finding love. And it's hard and it's messy, 333 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: and it gets uncomfortable and it gets it and it 334 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: goes up and down. But if you're constantly looking for 335 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: that next thrill where you feel satiated all the. 336 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 2: Time, you're going to have a lifelong of problems. 337 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 3: It's I think about the person who is yeah, that's 338 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 3: that's not I can't find any way to endorse, to 339 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 3: be supportive of that, because it's awful. The person that's 340 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 3: in a relationship with you and you're just waiting for 341 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 3: something better to come along, Meaning you're not trying to 342 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 3: work on this one. You're not trying to improve this one, 343 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 3: You're not trying to make this a better relationship. You're 344 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 3: just buying time. And this person just happens to be here. 345 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 3: Why won't you just break up with them? 346 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: Why won't you just you need to look inward at 347 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: that point, if you are in the middle of this 348 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: or have done it before, I think there needs to 349 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: be some soul searching that goes on at least from 350 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: that point. But when we come back, we're going to 351 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: talk about the different types of partners. Do you want 352 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: a golden retriever boyfriend or girlfriend or do you want 353 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: on a black cat? 354 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 2: We'll explain when we come back. Welcome back everyone. 355 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: We are talking about the top new hilariously labeled dating 356 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: trends of twenty twenty six. 357 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 3: Is that fair? That is all these are? Is this 358 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 3: not new stuff? We just got new labels? Is that fair? 359 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 2: Probably? Yes, it's just explained you know this. 360 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: Look, there are some clever, fun moments that I think 361 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: social media has given us, and this is among them 362 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: where we can actually have some fun talking about things 363 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: we've all experienced things that have been going on since 364 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 1: the beginning of time. 365 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 2: Every I can only. 366 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: Imagine since man and woman were on the earth trying 367 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: to figure out how to couple up and how to 368 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 1: basically have a happy life together. 369 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 2: These problems are as old as the earth. I imagine that 370 00:16:59,120 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 2: is the unique. 371 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 3: Oh, that's an interesting thing. We are not Are we 372 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 3: seeing anything different? 373 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: Right? 374 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 3: Because we always thought people are dating differently. But what 375 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 3: people want and how they want it and who they 376 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 3: is that stuff necessarily evolving. And what people want, what 377 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 3: you truly desire from a partner, is that change. 378 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 1: I think it's evolved because the concept of what marriage 379 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 1: and coupling up was like. 380 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 2: It used to be a business arrangement, right, It was. 381 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: About safety, it was about survival, It was about repopulating 382 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 1: the earth or continuing to bring humans into this world 383 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: and finding a way to create order over rules and yes, 384 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: but now I think we have more options. The gender 385 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: roles are all over the place, and who we love 386 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: and what's okay in terms of relationship has changed. 387 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 2: So maybe priorities and intentions, I don't know. I think 388 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: things have. 389 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: Dusted up a little bit. At the end of the day, Yeah, 390 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: we all want to find our person. We all want 391 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 1: to find our soulmate, don't we. 392 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 3: I think so For whatever reason, I feel like it's 393 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 3: the trend is that it's not okay to admit that. 394 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 3: The trend is I need to be an individual. The 395 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 3: trend is I need to make sure that the appearance 396 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 3: that I am the strong one and this if I'm 397 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 3: with somebody, that means it. I chose that because that 398 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 3: enhances me in some way, not because I'm trying to 399 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 3: be a part of another thing or a partnership. I 400 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 3: think that thing that we have evolved in the way 401 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 3: we view sometimes these things. But deep down, I mean, 402 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 3: I don't know with anybody's heart, but I do. But 403 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 3: robes in day and day out. As much as we 404 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 3: cover news and relationships and almost any story you see, 405 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,679 Speaker 3: no matter what it's about, boils down to human relationship 406 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 3: a lot of times, doesn't it? Though? And Rose I do. 407 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 3: I think our desires are the same. We just don't 408 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 3: know how to go about it in a scary ass world. 409 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 2: That's so true. And I think with. 410 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: I do think that the empower of women is amazing. 411 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: I am I've raised to women, You've raised your daughters. 412 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 3: You about to make a great point. Go ahead, I 413 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 3: know what you're businessing, but I think it's your point. 414 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: We've lost our way because we need to win and 415 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: we can't ever be like to submit is to be weak, 416 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 1: and that is a problem because we get that in 417 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:18,439 Speaker 1: our heads. 418 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 2: I certainly had it in mind. I have to win. 419 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 2: I have to be in charge. I have to rule 420 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,400 Speaker 2: the nest. I have to be the one. And that 421 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,639 Speaker 2: flies in the face of a lot of tradition and 422 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 2: a lot of things that have been set up. 423 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 1: And so now you've got this big powder keg of 424 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: competing interest. Who's in charge, who's the house head of 425 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: the household, who gets to make the decisions? 426 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 2: Who has to say? Who has to go along with it? 427 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's a big old mess right now, 428 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: and we haven't figured it out. And so yes, we've 429 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 1: got these labels and we're trying to figure out who 430 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: we mesh best with. 431 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 2: I think it's so individual. 432 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 1: I think it's so individual based on the partnership, and so, yes, 433 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: who we choose, man, does that have an impact on 434 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: our happiness? 435 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,639 Speaker 2: We laugh because we know, yes we do. 436 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 3: And it took us a long time in life to 437 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 3: figure that out. And we didn't realize it at the time, 438 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 3: or I didn't speak for myself decisions that we are 439 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 3: making early on how there might be bad decisions because 440 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 3: we get in our head what's supposed to be important, 441 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 3: what's supposed to be right, how you're supposed to love, 442 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 3: when you're supposed to get married, when you're supposed to 443 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 3: have kids, and then after that, whoops, nope, you're not 444 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 3: supposed to make a mistake, you're not supposed to get divorced, 445 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 3: and all these things get there, and it gets in 446 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 3: the way of what we all really want is just 447 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 3: to be happy with somebody else. I want a partner, 448 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 3: I do. I don't want to go through life alone. 449 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,479 Speaker 3: Obviously not, but but ros I've been told, we are 450 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:51,479 Speaker 3: all being told, if this isn't working out, it's okay. 451 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: And find someone else who you can potentially work with, 452 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 1: and it is. 453 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 3: Okay to do that. I agree with that one hundred percent. 454 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 3: That I do find that in the partnerships and the 455 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 3: conversations we have with younger folks, including kids, our kids, 456 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 3: what how they go about finding partners there, how they 457 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 3: talk about marriage, how they talk about submitting to a 458 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 3: certain degree, I say, submitting but robes. I find so 459 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 3: many folks I have conversation stations with under the age 460 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 3: of twenty five find it offensive that the suggestion they 461 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 3: would change or compromise any bit of who they are 462 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 3: for the sake of a relationship. 463 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: And yet that is absolutely what is required for a 464 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: relationship to be successful. And I think that is something 465 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:44,479 Speaker 1: that you said it required. That is not necessarily okay 466 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: to say out loud, but it is the key. Both 467 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: people have to sacrifice, both people have to compromise, and 468 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: if you aren't willing. 469 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 2: To do that, yeah, you probably should not be in 470 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,480 Speaker 2: a long term relationship. 471 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: And that's okay if you don't want to, but you 472 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: need to understand what that may lead to. So they 473 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 1: have these labels put on the type of partner people 474 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 1: are looking for, right, and one of them is the 475 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: Golden Retriever. Boyfriend, I think it's pretty self evident what 476 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 1: that is, what. 477 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 3: You said me, Golden Retrieve, the other those black cat Yes, okay, 478 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 3: so Golden Retriever, I don't know, you know, I don't 479 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 3: know dogs, well, you know, I don't know dog breeds, 480 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 3: so I don't know what the Golden Retriever is known for. 481 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: Okay, they are loving, yes, positive, energetic, loyal. And here's 482 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 1: the big one, uncomplicated, which I think translates to goes 483 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: with the flow. Whatever you want, dear, Yes, dear, the 484 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: Golden Retriever boyfriend is a yes, dear boyfriend. 485 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 3: That's what it's saying. Yes, that's not a positive, then 486 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 3: is it? 487 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,200 Speaker 2: Well? It does workforce. 488 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 1: Look, if you have somebody who wants to just please, 489 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: and you have somebody who just wants to be pleased, 490 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: maybe that works out really. 491 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 3: Well and it works and that's okay. That's the thing. 492 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 3: We're so quick to judge somebody else's relationship that we 493 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 3: don't understand if it works for them. 494 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,200 Speaker 1: Like you said, you might actually get I had a 495 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 1: lot of joy in pleasing someone else. That brings you happiness, 496 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,120 Speaker 1: And someone else may say having someone who. 497 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: Pleases me brings me joy. And if those two people 498 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,920 Speaker 2: come together and work out well, Mazeltov. 499 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 3: I always learned something when we do these episodes. I 500 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 3: had no idea how was your Golden Retriever? I learned 501 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 3: something every time we do the see. 502 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 1: The funny thing is I would describe you as the 503 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 1: next as a black the black cat, the black Cattcist No, 504 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know where we were going here. You know, 505 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: I've told you you have cat and I think we 506 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 1: all but you do have cat like tendencies. 507 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 3: Cat like tendency. That's what I want to be left alone. 508 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 2: And you have to kind of earn your trust. 509 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 3: No, that's not okay, go ahead, tell me what black 510 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 3: cat thing first? 511 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: All right, here's the black cat boyfriend. Yes, in fact, 512 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 1: they actually distinguished this one. 513 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 2: For whatever reason into boyfriend and girlfriend. 514 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 3: Wait, can't ask a question. The golden retriever thing could 515 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 3: apply to men and women. 516 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: I guess it could, but mostly it's maybe Cosmo who 517 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,640 Speaker 1: put this list together with. 518 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 2: Thinking more of the women. 519 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: But they did say a black cat boyfriend, and then 520 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: they did describe a black cat girlfriend. 521 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 3: You're not a black hat girlfriend, though, but you think 522 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 3: I'm a black hat boyfriend. 523 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 2: I might be a black cat girlfriend. I want to 524 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:04,919 Speaker 2: hear what you think I am. 525 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,640 Speaker 1: Right, All right, here's how they describe a black cat boyfriend, mysterious, 526 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:15,119 Speaker 1: slightly moody counterpart to the golden retriever boyfriend. They are independent, intellectual, 527 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 1: could seem cold and stand offish, but actually affectionate on 528 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: his own terms and selective with his romantic attention. 529 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 3: Very very true. 530 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: That is you two eighteen? 531 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 3: Oh, that's true. I think about your uh aunt Ann right, 532 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 3: didn't wasn't she the one that saw me? We're at 533 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 3: a funeral and she saw this first time I was 534 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,199 Speaker 3: meeting a lot of your family. And wasn't she the 535 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 3: one that said, I didn't know he seems so stand 536 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 3: off as or cold or whatever else. Wasn't she the one? 537 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: She my aunt Leslie, and she's sorry because you were 538 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 1: look a no one had met you yet. But yes, 539 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,120 Speaker 1: you're very put together. You're you're a gorgeous man. Let's 540 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: just be honest. And so there might be an intimidation 541 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,200 Speaker 1: factor just by how put together you are and how 542 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: and just they're like, oh, look there's TJ and then 543 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: you have Yeah, that might be intimidating to a lot 544 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:02,639 Speaker 1: of folks. 545 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 2: And so but when she came up to you, you 546 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 2: know what you said. 547 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: To her, I'm a hugger, yeah, and you hugger And 548 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: she was surprised. 549 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 3: And everything broke down after that to where what you're 550 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 3: describing here is they may seem a certain way, but 551 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 3: I'm actually as warm as if anytime somebody says, oh, 552 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 3: you're from Arkansas. I thought you were from Manhattan. You like, 553 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 3: what do you know something you don't know about me? 554 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 3: But yes, you've said this and explain this to me 555 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 3: plenty of times that from a distance or across the room. DJ. Yeah, 556 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,160 Speaker 3: you're you're intimidating, and I think I'm just the warmest arcans. 557 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 3: I'm from Arkansas. It's like this. 558 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,400 Speaker 1: Beautiful black cats, stylish and sleek, and yet I don't 559 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: know is he gonna bite me? 560 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 2: Is he gonna purr? I'm not sure? 561 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: But see that's to me, that's very attractive, that's very inviting. 562 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 2: I want to find out more. I want to learn. 563 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 2: I learned things about you every day. 564 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 3: Wow, what'd you learn today? Sorry? Just push it on 565 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,400 Speaker 3: the spot and know how that was gonna work. 566 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 1: Okay, the black Cat woman is the same as above, 567 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: but they added this that the women who are black 568 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: Cat girlfriends value their alone time, tend to be introverted 569 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,959 Speaker 1: and have a slightly aloof yet intimidating quality about them 570 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,680 Speaker 1: that does draw people in. 571 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 3: I don't think that's draw people in. 572 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: It does draw people in because you're like a black 573 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 1: a woman, you know, just they said, slightly aloof, slightly 574 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: intimidating and that draws people in and they do value 575 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: their alone time and they are slightly introverted. 576 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 2: I don't think that describes me at all. 577 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 3: Introverted No, a loof, No, the. 578 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 2: Other introverted aloof and value alone time. 579 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 3: No, you can't stand being alone. 580 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,439 Speaker 2: I'm working on it. 581 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: You're right, I don't, and I know that that is 582 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: an issue and it is something that I have been 583 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: working on. 584 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 3: It scares me. Scared me like, oh my god, I 585 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 3: better not have a business trip. 586 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 2: No, I would never not want you to. And that's me. 587 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 3: That's on me. Okay, I was, But yeah, you do 588 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 3: struggle with that anytime. If I might have like forty 589 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 3: five minutes I need to go do something, you'll go 590 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 3: book a SPA treatment, just so you can make sure 591 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 3: you are not sitting in a place by yourself in 592 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 3: home for whatever reason. That feels yeah, crazy to you. 593 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 2: You know what, I think. 594 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: I spend a lot of time alone in my room 595 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: growing up, and I just felt like, man, when I 596 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 1: get older, I am never going to do this. And 597 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,640 Speaker 1: so for me, it's interesting. Everyone's got their different reasons why. 598 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: But I yes, I like to be out. I like 599 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: to be about I like to be around people, and 600 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: I do try to do that. But I don't know 601 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: what I am. 602 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 2: I'm not a golden retriever either. 603 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if there's how would you describe me 604 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: as a I'm a fiance now, but as a girlfriend? 605 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,159 Speaker 2: Is there a label? 606 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 3: As far as an animal goes whatever? You're like a 607 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 3: like the zoo monkey, like the little ones that you 608 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 3: can't quite get in. You can't quite see. He's hiding 609 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 3: behind some of the trees and the branches, and you 610 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,959 Speaker 3: keep going trying to get a look, trying to get 611 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 3: a cat, trying to look at the monkey, and the 612 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 3: mokey seems so happy, and then you make eye contact 613 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 3: with the monkey. Oh my god, the monkey loves me. 614 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 3: And then there it goes off doing its own thing again. 615 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 3: You're a I don't know what type of monkey that is. 616 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 2: I'm a playful monkey. 617 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 3: You're a playful monkey, is what I would discribe. Yeah, 618 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 3: so this is a playful monkey relationship. 619 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 2: A playful monkey with a black cat. Yes, do they 620 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 2: get along? 621 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: Do? 622 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 2: I amuse you? 623 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 3: Cats don't give a damn what the monkey's doing. 624 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,439 Speaker 2: And that's the sad state of our relationship. Now I'm kidding. 625 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 2: This is fun though. 626 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: This is fun talking about it, and really we're just 627 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 1: talking about how we all figure things out. We can 628 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: put whatever label we want on it, but I do 629 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: think that at the end of the day, we're all 630 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 1: looking to find our person, and for each person it's different. 631 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 1: Everybody wants different things, everybody needs different things. But I 632 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: do think that these all teach us the most important 633 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: thing is to have the best relationship with ourselves. 634 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 2: I need to do and I'm working on it. 635 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 1: To be alone, to enjoy my own company, and to 636 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: not need someone else, but to enjoy someone else and 637 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: to give to someone else. And it's not about what 638 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: you're getting from some of what you're giving to them. 639 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 2: That's the goal. That's the goal, to be thinking of others. 640 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 3: You say to your golden retriever, Okay, you. 641 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 2: Are so not a golden retriever. 642 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 1: And with that everyone, thank you for listening to us 643 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 1: on this Sunday. I may be roboch alongside my black 644 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: cat of a fiancee TJ. 645 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 2: Holmes. We will talk to you soon.