1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight, we got it for it 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: is the strawberry. Let this ignorant show right here all right? Subject? 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: Have I been acting bad and bougie? I did not 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: write this letter is not about me, Stephen Shirley. I 5 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: am a hair stylist, and in the last few years 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: I've built up a great clientele and I'm enjoying the 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: fruits of my labor. I was able to buy a 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 1: new car, and I purchased my first home, a nice home. 9 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: I also have found love again with a great supportive man. 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 1: So here's my problem. My professional life and my love 11 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 1: life are going great, but my friendships are suffering. I've 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: lost a lot of girl friends in this past year. 13 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: They are friends that I've known for a long time, 14 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: and I thought they would be happy to watch me 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: as I finally got my life on track. At first, 16 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: I thought that maybe I was doing something to turn 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: them off, but I never brag or throw my success 18 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: in their faces. We used to meet up for lunch, dinner, 19 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: and girls night out, but I've noticed that they've been 20 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 1: doing a lot of stuff without me. I'm not sure 21 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: what I've done to make them exclude me. Even my 22 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: best friend became distant, so I invited her over and 23 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: asked her what was going on. She told me that 24 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: I think I'm better than everyone else. Now, anyone that 25 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: knows me knows that I am very humble and I 26 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: have a very big heart. I was shocked when she 27 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: told me that, please help me understand what could possibly 28 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: be going on with my friends. Maybe it is me. 29 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: I am proud of my accomplishment and I was hoping 30 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: my friends would be too. My man is supportive, but 31 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: I need my girlfriends. How can I fix this? Listen, 32 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: bad and Bougie, I'm proud of your accomplishments too, I 33 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: really am. Uh, this is what you're supposed to be 34 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: doing with your life. This is what success looks like. 35 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: How sakara prospering business, et cetera. You're in a great 36 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: relationship now. I love how you say. You're still humble, 37 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: You're not braggadocious. You don't throw your success in their faces. 38 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: I mean, what more do they want? You sound like 39 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: a young woman who's doing all the right things. Uh. 40 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: And you are, like you said, enjoying the fruits of 41 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: your labor. You work hard. Uh, Your your friends are haters. 42 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you they're haters. Hate just doesn't 43 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: look good on them. No, it is not you, it's them. 44 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: They are jealous because you're doing well and they cannot 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 1: bring themselves to be happy for you. Uh you know. 46 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: I just say it's times like this when you find 47 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: out who your real friends are, especially you're supposedly best friend. 48 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: What's that about? She's a hater too. So this is 49 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: a decision you're going to have to consider. Um, you know, 50 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: do you still want these women around you that? Um? 51 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: When they meet and they don't invite you, Please know 52 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: that they're talking about you. You're the entire topic of conversation. 53 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: How you think they're you're better than them and all that. 54 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: I say. Times change, circumstances change, people change, so you're 55 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: going to have to change as well. Don't let these 56 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: people make you doubt yourself. Don't make them feel badly. 57 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: It is okay to be successful as long as you 58 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: stay humble. Steve, Uh uh, well, it's so many ways 59 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: to go. First of all, Sherley, I agree with everything 60 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: you've said. That's for starters. You've pointed it out very eloquently, 61 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: and they all haters. But the first thing you gotta 62 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: learn is these not your friends? These just ain't your friends. 63 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: They were your friends as long as you were in 64 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 1: the same predicament they were in. Now we're friends. You know, 65 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: birds of a feather flock together. Misery love company. As 66 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: long as you was in misery, they was glad to 67 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: be in your company. But the moment you have started 68 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: prospering moving up, now here they come. They got problem. 69 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: Now they're not your friends. I can't tell you how 70 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: many people out have met like this. I can't count 71 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: the people. Man who was cool with me long as 72 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: I was paying them. Oh, man, you're the greatest man. No, man, 73 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: Steve Man, you this man? You know. Yeah, they're getting 74 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: their check. The moment they stopped doing what they want 75 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: to do in that checkstop. I ain't heard from him. 76 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: I ain't heard man. I love you, You're my boy. 77 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: I appreciate you now. I wish you the best. I 78 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: love your family. Ain't heard from him. Don't hear from him. 79 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: Don't ever hear from him. So you you, you're you're 80 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: going through what a lot of us go through. All 81 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: of us have gone through it. It's called seasons of life. 82 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: They were in your life for a season. This season 83 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: is over. It's winter now. Yeah, you saw the movie 84 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: game and throw were coming when they're coming on the 85 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: White Walkers too. Shirley was right. Crap in the bowl, 86 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: that's all it is. You know everybody ain't gonna be 87 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: happy for yourself. Shirley was right again. See the one 88 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: thing I've learned about six says, it's not me who changes. 89 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: It's people's opinion of me who has changed. People now 90 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: think I think I'm all that? No, Doc, you think 91 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: I think I'm all that, because that's how you act 92 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: if you was here. Quit tripping with them girls. It 93 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: is time for you to move on in your life. 94 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: You should not get yourself a new set of friends. 95 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: Association brings on participation. I have found in my life 96 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: I have had to get different types of friends. I 97 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: had to go find me some friends that don't want 98 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: nothing every time I turn around. I had to find 99 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: me some friends that go, hey man, I got to check. 100 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: I had to find some friends and say, hey man, 101 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: you ain't paying for that. I'm gonna pick that up. 102 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: Instead of somebody standing around me, always waiting on me 103 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: to get to check, always waiting on me to buy everything, 104 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: always sitting around to my man. Where We're gonna go 105 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: ain't playing it, no golf trips, ain't telling my ay man, 106 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: let's go here. I got this with none of that, 107 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: none of that. You are in the same spot. It's 108 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 1: not that you've changed, it's that people's opinion of you changed. 109 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: They now thank you, thank you all that, and you don't. 110 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: It's just that's how they are. That's how they are. 111 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: And your best friend, I'm gonna tell you come back 112 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,799 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you what did happened to huh? 113 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna give you a solution. Alright, Alright, 114 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: it is time for part two of Steve's response to 115 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letters subject have I been acting bad? Or 116 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: and bougie? Whatever? Jay? Alright, come on, Steve, let's recap. Alright, 117 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 1: So Steve, this young lady wrote in she's a hairstylist. 118 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,119 Speaker 1: She's um just really come up in the last few years. 119 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: She has a great clientele, her business is booming. She 120 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: brought a new car, a new home, she's got a 121 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: new man in her life. Uh, and things are going 122 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 1: well and she's happy. But her friends, Steve, especially her 123 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: best friend, they think, you know, she thinks she's better 124 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: than everyone now, So there they're getting And I've told 125 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: you all what I thought about it earlier. But now 126 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: let me let me focus on this best friend for you. 127 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: Your best friend is sitting around with your other friends, 128 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: and her mind set towards you has been contaminated by 129 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: your other friends. So the girl you consider your best friend, 130 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: it's really your less friend and just just like all 131 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: the rest of them, because they're not happy for your success. 132 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:47,679 Speaker 1: And it ain't just your business. Oh it's that new 133 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: man you got to all the lonely helpless sitting around 134 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: ain't got nobody, or ain't in a healthy relationship, or 135 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: ain't in no relationship ship. Now you're in a relationship 136 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: and your business turned around. God didn't bless you? Now, Well, 137 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: what's wrong with her? She thinks she all that? Now, No, 138 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: you don't. And I can tell everybody you letter that 139 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: you're a humble person and this has really hurt your feelings. 140 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: So you're trying to find a way to deal with it. 141 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: But this is how, this is how gardeners get the 142 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: best and the most out of shrubbery and trees. Every tree. 143 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: To get the best out of it, you have to 144 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: prune it. You have to cut some branches off that 145 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: look like they live branches, but they're actually prohibiting the 146 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: nutrients from getting into the upper levels of the tree. 147 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: So you prune them, You cut them back. It's what 148 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: gardeners do. And God gives us this opportunity in our 149 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: life to cut back, to prune, to get rid of 150 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: so he can take you and let you flourish to 151 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: be the best bush tree plant you can be. But 152 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: you got a lot of dead weight around you, and 153 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: they are called your friends, and we all have them. 154 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: We all have them. So now this is your opportunity 155 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 1: to start associating yourself with some more like minded people. See, 156 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,559 Speaker 1: you all got along fun because before, because you all 157 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: were like minded, you all made the same kind of money, 158 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: had the same kind of problems. Now a couple of 159 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,719 Speaker 1: your money problems and got solved, and a couple of 160 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: your other problems and got solved. So now boom, you 161 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: ain't in the group no more. And they don't like that. 162 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: If you're the smartest person in your group, you need 163 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: a new group. It's time for a new group. Period. 164 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: They're not your friends. It's all, it's all good, and 165 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: don't forget. She has a new man you got your 166 00:09:51,600 --> 00:10:01,959 Speaker 1: new many lonely better in a relationship that stink cheating 167 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: on him, boyfriend, ain't ask him to mail always ugly 168 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: man a nobody touching him? Yeah, gotta be touched. Got 169 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: you're getting hell and all here. Now, you got your beers, 170 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: you got a salon, hairplan, it's health. He dropping by 171 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: the shop slapping that wood stuff like that? Why you would? 172 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: That's what they mad about. That's what they're upset about. 173 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: What she does say? Her man is supportive? How you 174 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: got that out of that? Like, I don't let I'll 175 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: be back later baby anyway. But she's doing well. She's successful. 176 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: That's what success looks like. Come on now, and that's 177 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: when we find out. You find out your real friends are. 178 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:55,559 Speaker 1: That's true. Make it or lose everything. Become extremely successful 179 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: or lose everything. Those are two ways to find out 180 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: who your friends. Yeah, exactly, you're exactly right, do extremely badlyrics. Man. 181 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: You know I had a partner. Uh, we'll just ask 182 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: me for some money. And I really just kind of 183 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: forgot because he's never asked me for money before. I 184 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: ain't really talked to him in years, right, Well, we 185 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: talked text, but we ain't really seen each other in years. 186 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:32,719 Speaker 1: So dude asked me, Wow, you people do that easy? Man? Man? 187 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: How your mother to ask the one? Sir Shirley, I 188 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: got a whole business for posting, so none of it, man, 189 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,439 Speaker 1: So I kind of send it to me in an email. 190 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: Then he texts me saying, man, if you considered my idea, 191 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: I really need that fifty thousand by Friday. Not damn 192 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: dog tells me Monday. But you need it by Friday. See, 193 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:07,199 Speaker 1: and ain't no bank. The bank don't even give you that, man. 194 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: You can't go do that at the bank. You can 195 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: get the loan officer. Look, I need this friend, I 196 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: have an idea. Can I get it down? I don't 197 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 1: work like that, you know, man, Look I've had friends 198 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: do that to me. You know you can't. Look, you 199 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 1: just got getting new set of friends. Just got some money, 200 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: wouldn't me. I just wanted a job. And he said 201 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 1: he hadn't spoken spoken to him. So are you gonna 202 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: send it to him? You're holding the boy up, man, 203 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: you're slowing up production. Well, I mean that's just wondering. Yeah. 204 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: That's different though than picking up the phone and saying 205 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,599 Speaker 1: to a friend saying, hey, can I borrow fifty g 206 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: that's different. That's crazy. At least he did how to 207 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,080 Speaker 1: have a business plan attached to it, but that's crazy 208 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: either way. Yeah, have you looked at the plane? Gotta go? Alright, 209 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Email as her Instagram 210 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: I short thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey 211 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: f M dot com. Okay, you're listening to the Steve 212 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.