WEBVTT - 250 Questions To A Better Relationship

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<v Speaker 1>This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin,

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<v Speaker 1>Texas today. Well, like many of these days, we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to talk love. We're talking love with an amazing author,

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<v Speaker 1>Lindsey Jill Roth. She's dropping a book called Romances and Practicalities. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of books about dating and love, but

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<v Speaker 1>this one really struck me because this is you know again,

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<v Speaker 1>I usually don't read right off of the press release,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm going to with this because this is really

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<v Speaker 1>the hook got me. The synopsis of Romances and Practicalities

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<v Speaker 1>that drops January twenty eighth. Pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell

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<v Speaker 1>and the humor of Kerrie Bradshaw come on right there.

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<v Speaker 1>That got me. I'm a huge Malcolm Gladwell fan. I

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<v Speaker 1>like the way his brain thinks. In reading what Lindsay

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<v Speaker 1>had to say, it is a lot of her personal

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<v Speaker 1>journey to love, but with the psychology and the introspection

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<v Speaker 1>of Malcolm Gladwell, who so brilliantly always articulates life in

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<v Speaker 1>a very interesting way. So when I saw this, I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to dive in with Lindsay about her book

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<v Speaker 1>and weaving her own story through a maze of two

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<v Speaker 1>hundred and fifty questions of how to find love or

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<v Speaker 1>if you already are in love, how to make it better,

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<v Speaker 1>how to make that intimacy and the communication even more

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<v Speaker 1>intentional and more intense. And so it is a great

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<v Speaker 1>honor to have author and TV producer Lindsey jill Roth

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<v Speaker 1>on the show today. Joining me now is Lindsay Jill Roth, author,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm was just in the intro. I was just

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<v Speaker 1>saying how intrigued I am by this book because of

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<v Speaker 1>what I did obviously for twenty years in love and romance,

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<v Speaker 1>but then also being single and finding romance again in

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<v Speaker 1>my life not so recently, and having he'd been in

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<v Speaker 1>the dating scene. I get I related so much to

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<v Speaker 1>what you were saying in the book. It makes so

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<v Speaker 1>much sense to me that you think you're getting to

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<v Speaker 1>know somebody, you think you're making a connection, but we're not,

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<v Speaker 1>and some of us are really bad at this, And

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<v Speaker 1>so I love where this book is going.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's easy to mistake connection for connection.

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<v Speaker 2>It's easy to mistake sex and intimacy for romance. And

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<v Speaker 2>I think unless you are really open and honest and communicative,

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<v Speaker 2>cutive with someone. Yeah, you don't really get to know someone.

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<v Speaker 1>Where are you today? Where am I talking to you from?

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm kind of giving away a bit of the

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<v Speaker 2>book here, but it's dark for me and light for you.

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<v Speaker 2>I've London, England.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yes, because you know part of the book is

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't know if this is a spoiler, but

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<v Speaker 1>the impetus was this as you fell in love with

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<v Speaker 1>this charming Englishman but things didn't work out, So it's

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<v Speaker 1>not the fairy tale ending that led to the book.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, it's funny. You have to read the

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<v Speaker 2>book and it is beat read meets this book that

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<v Speaker 2>everyone who is embarking on finding healthy love meets. So

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<v Speaker 2>it's a great story meets a tool for how to

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<v Speaker 2>communicate to find healthy love. So spoiler alert, it did

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<v Speaker 2>end up working out with the brit You know, we

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<v Speaker 2>met in New York. We had a transatlantic, very up

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<v Speaker 2>and down love story, which makes for some great fodder

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<v Speaker 2>throughout the book. And you know, it made for a

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<v Speaker 2>great romance, It made for a great story, it made

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<v Speaker 2>for communication, and it made us better partners. I like

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<v Speaker 2>to say, you know, I met this man after feeling

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<v Speaker 2>like I dated all of New York. No one was

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<v Speaker 2>flying me around the world to meet people, or putting

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<v Speaker 2>me in a room with twenty four other women.

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<v Speaker 1>No hot air balloons, weird group dates.

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<v Speaker 2>No No. I was left to my own devices, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was sifting through these men, and I realized there

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<v Speaker 2>was no tool to help me get through what I

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<v Speaker 2>really really needed. And I needed to understand myself better.

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<v Speaker 2>I needed to learn how to communicate better, and I

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<v Speaker 2>needed to not be afraid. So when I was dating

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<v Speaker 2>this very charming englishman who I liked for more than

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<v Speaker 2>just his accent, he was very shortly sent back to

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<v Speaker 2>London after we met, and we really had to double

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<v Speaker 2>down on how we got to know each other. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>we only had two of our five senses, right. We

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't smell each other, we couldn't touch each other, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, we really had to communicate. So I created

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<v Speaker 2>a tool to help people be comfortable in finding love

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<v Speaker 2>and finding healthy love and thinking of a way to

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<v Speaker 2>open up pathways to partnership. You know, the thesis of this

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<v Speaker 2>book is that communication is sexy, and if you want romance,

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<v Speaker 2>start with some practicality.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Lindsey. I mean, there's so many places I want

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<v Speaker 1>to jump in, and for every time I said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I just first of all, I can't. It's how healthy

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<v Speaker 1>you are of your self realization. And I think that

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<v Speaker 1>is one of the biggest stumbling blocks for most people

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<v Speaker 1>is you looked in the mirror and you found fault

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<v Speaker 1>in the mirror in yourself. You weren't going, oh my gosh,

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<v Speaker 1>as you said, sifting. That's a very interesting word. I

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<v Speaker 1>was sifting through all these men. And this can go

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<v Speaker 1>for men or women, by the way, but we all

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<v Speaker 1>do this right in our dating life and it's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>he's not right, she's not right, he didn't fit check

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<v Speaker 1>off the boxes in this Very rarely are we looking

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<v Speaker 1>in the mirror like you just said. And that is

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<v Speaker 1>a tough thing to do. It's easier said than done.

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<v Speaker 1>So kudos to you for saying, you know what, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not doing something. I need to fix this if I

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<v Speaker 1>want to go deeper.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I was going down a slippery slope. I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I was becoming less and less myself because I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>finding the partnership I thought it would. So I this

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<v Speaker 2>was born out of fear. This was not me at

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<v Speaker 2>the top of the mountain saying I've created something. This

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<v Speaker 2>is I'm afraid and I'm unsure of myself and I

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<v Speaker 2>need to get back to who I am and I

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<v Speaker 2>like who I am, and how can I be the

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<v Speaker 2>best partner as me? And you know, what does the

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<v Speaker 2>mean now? Really need? Right? Not what's on a piece

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<v Speaker 2>of paper that might be on my list, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>because at the end of the day, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, we all have the boxes.

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<v Speaker 2>We do have boxes, and some boxes are okay, but

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<v Speaker 2>actually figure out what those boxes are. If you want

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<v Speaker 2>someone spiritual, dig into what spiritual means just saying someone's spiritual? Right,

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<v Speaker 2>what does that mean to you? Put it into action words? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>And the way you've described And I mentioned this and

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<v Speaker 1>this is I don't often read, you know, off a

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<v Speaker 1>press release because I'm like, okay, let's go deeper. But

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<v Speaker 1>there was a line. So whoever wrote this, maybe it

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<v Speaker 1>was you, Okay, So this is brilliant, Okay, So I

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<v Speaker 1>love this. The whole synopsis of the book starts off

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<v Speaker 1>with with the pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell and the

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<v Speaker 1>humor of Carrie Bradshaw Romances and Practicalities, which of course

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<v Speaker 1>is the book combines these, you know, the kind of

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<v Speaker 1>the psychology and the romance of it all. Okay, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's because I'm a geek and I love Malcolm Gladwell

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<v Speaker 1>and I am obsessed with his podcast and everything he does.

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<v Speaker 1>But also Lauren got me more obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw

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<v Speaker 1>and watching Sex in the City. Obviously I was aware

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<v Speaker 1>of it, it's one of the biggest shows ever, but

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<v Speaker 1>I never really dove into Carrie Bradshaw, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>find those two very interesting because my theory on Carrie

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<v Speaker 1>Bradshaw for watching is she is not really healthy and

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<v Speaker 1>she's not very good at this at all, and she's

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<v Speaker 1>not doing what you're doing, which is self help and

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<v Speaker 1>self realization of her shortcomings.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, when you keep putting yourself in to the same

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<v Speaker 2>situation over and over and over with different people, something

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<v Speaker 2>has to give, right and when you legitimately it's.

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<v Speaker 1>The definition of insanity. And we'll just keep doing it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, right, and you're you're you know, look, you found Lauren, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and you seem to have a great partnership with her.

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<v Speaker 2>And if if a long term partner is what you want,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to get married. You don't have to tie

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<v Speaker 2>the knup. But finding that person, if that's what you want,

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<v Speaker 2>it can be incredible, right.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I will say kudos to Lauren who is

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<v Speaker 1>a far better communicator than I am. And I thought

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<v Speaker 1>I was good, and you know, considering, and I hate

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<v Speaker 1>to say this publicly, but considering what I did for

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<v Speaker 1>twenty years, you think I would be a much better

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<v Speaker 1>communicator because of all that I watched and the mistakes

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<v Speaker 1>that were made. But Lauren actually opened my eyes to

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<v Speaker 1>being so much more intentional. And I feel like that

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<v Speaker 1>is this book. It is not just communicating. We can

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<v Speaker 1>all talk, we can all laugh, we can all do that,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's your questions. These two hundred and fifty questions

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<v Speaker 1>that we throughout this book, they are intentional communication, which

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<v Speaker 1>is very different.

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<v Speaker 2>It's also about being or finding someone who you are

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<v Speaker 2>comfortable speaking about anything and everything with, so right. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not about getting an answer right, because then someone else

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<v Speaker 2>is wrong. Right. It's also about you know, if you

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<v Speaker 2>bring something up at the beginning of a relationship, it's

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<v Speaker 2>a lot easier to bring that up again and to

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<v Speaker 2>revisit something than it is to be three four years

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<v Speaker 2>in and think, God, we've never talked.

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<v Speaker 1>About this right. Oh, by the way, I slept with

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Hey.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I tell you something? I don't know how to

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<v Speaker 2>bring this up. There shouldn't be that moment. There should

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<v Speaker 2>be a hey, this feels a little awkward, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>but I know we're comfortable with each other, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And you can see that when you first start seeing someone,

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<v Speaker 2>if you don't have to run their texts by friends,

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<v Speaker 2>if you can be one hundred percent yourself, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when you're communicating with this person, that's indication. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>If you bring up these questions and you say, I

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<v Speaker 2>read this great book, blame it on me. I read

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<v Speaker 2>this great book, and I want to ask you some questions.

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<v Speaker 2>If the person you're with is a little hesitant and

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't want to go there with you, maybe that's an

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<v Speaker 2>indication of something. But if someone's willing to jump in

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<v Speaker 2>and say, you know, I'm not the best communicator, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'll try.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's the thing is I think you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>find for those listening, probably one or the other is

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<v Speaker 1>a better communicator. It's very rare that you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>just have two great communicators in a relationship. It's wonderful

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<v Speaker 1>if you have that, but usually one has to beget

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<v Speaker 1>the other and you have to help and teach. And

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<v Speaker 1>I will give Lauren a lot of credit. I think

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<v Speaker 1>there are things that I've done for Lauren, but I

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<v Speaker 1>definitely one thing she did for me was definitely help

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<v Speaker 1>me with communication. And so if that is the case,

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<v Speaker 1>as you have found, how can the person that's read

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<v Speaker 1>your book, the person that is the communicator, or how

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<v Speaker 1>can they be of assistance and trying to bridge that

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<v Speaker 1>gap with someone who's maybe a little tentative and a

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<v Speaker 1>little stand offish with being open with our feelings so.

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<v Speaker 2>You can start light. I mean, the person you're asking

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<v Speaker 2>these questions too, doesn't actually have to know that they're

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<v Speaker 2>being r and pied if you will, right, So the

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<v Speaker 2>first chapter.

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<v Speaker 1>Doesn't have to be an interrogation.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, it doesn't, and it can be done in

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<v Speaker 2>various stages. So, for example, the first chapter in the

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<v Speaker 2>book is about animals and pets. And I purposely did

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<v Speaker 2>this because talking to someone about animals or pets is

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<v Speaker 2>a gateway into how this person takes care of others.

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<v Speaker 2>Are they afraid? Did they have pets when they were

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<v Speaker 2>growing up? So you can learn a little bit about

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<v Speaker 2>their childhood. So this innocuous question about oh do you

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<v Speaker 2>like dogs? Are you a cat person? Oh? God, I

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<v Speaker 2>hate cats? Is like, oh, okay, let's dig into that, right,

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<v Speaker 2>And it's so harmless, but it really if you listen

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<v Speaker 2>to their answer, it's such an.

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<v Speaker 1>Indication lead you into children their thoughts about having living

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<v Speaker 1>things in their life and taking care of them. For sure,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a good medical right.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you have pet insurance? Do you? Or do you

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<v Speaker 2>believe you know in treating you know, giving your pet

0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.480
<v Speaker 2>antidepressants if they're a little anxious. I mean, it opens

0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.120
<v Speaker 2>up so many, so many doors, you know. And then

0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:24.040
<v Speaker 2>there's sort of the hey, I read this book, or hey,

0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:25.800
<v Speaker 2>I just thought it'd be fun if we ask some

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.240
<v Speaker 2>questions of each other, you know, we have a glass

0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 2>of wine or some ice cream, and look, I have

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.240
<v Speaker 2>to tell you, Chris, I hear this all the time.

0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.960
<v Speaker 2>People get three four questions in and they're having sex

0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 2>on the floor. Because communication can be super intimate, and

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.960
<v Speaker 2>especially for women. Let's use a heterosexual relationship just in

0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:52.240
<v Speaker 2>this case. So I'm I'm feeling really comfortable because I'm

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.440
<v Speaker 2>communicating with the man that I really care about. He's

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.240
<v Speaker 2>making me feel safe because I'm listening to his answers

0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.160
<v Speaker 2>and he's listening to mine. Times in with a question,

0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:05.800
<v Speaker 2>and suddenly the intimacy kind of overwhelms the situation. And

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I really I hear about this more often than not

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.840
<v Speaker 2>of like WHOA, what just happened? I get texts like

0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.400
<v Speaker 2>wow that worked. Yeah.

0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:18.840
<v Speaker 1>No, I think communication is incredibly intimate. I e incredibly sexy.

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.959
<v Speaker 1>I think there that is an unbelievable direct correlation. And

0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:27.000
<v Speaker 1>that is something I saw often on the show, those

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.960
<v Speaker 1>that communicated and really got each other and hit on

0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.600
<v Speaker 1>that level. Just that's you could see the sparks fly

0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.040
<v Speaker 1>when you say people have that instant chemistry. A lot

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:38.120
<v Speaker 1>of times that's what that is.

0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:42.160
<v Speaker 2>It is, and they feel open enough to start communicating

0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:46.160
<v Speaker 2>right and to you know, part of this book is

0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:51.720
<v Speaker 2>showing people what you can talk about when you're getting

0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 2>to know someone. It's okay to go there. And some

0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:59.040
<v Speaker 2>people don't always know. You know, Should I ask about

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:03.720
<v Speaker 2>your childhood or how you argue, or who you feel

0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:07.040
<v Speaker 2>comfortable speaking with, or what your hobbies and rituals are,

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 2>what do you like to do? That's great, but then

0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:12.600
<v Speaker 2>you can get deeper. And it's okay to go deeper

0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.560
<v Speaker 2>because it only gets you closer to people.

0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:22.080
<v Speaker 1>Two things. Number one, what are the mistakes? The biggest mistakes?

0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 1>And you were committing them yourself? For those that you know,

0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm a pretty intelligent guy. I'm a caring guy.

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 1>I like to listen, I like to talk, whatever. So

0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.840
<v Speaker 1>let's take the average person, like you or like myself,

0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 1>what are the what's the biggest mistake we're making thinking

0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.320
<v Speaker 1>we're good communicators, but we're not.

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 2>So I think a lot of people make the mistake

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.400
<v Speaker 2>I certainly did. Of you know, the term deal breaker

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.560
<v Speaker 2>of saying well this is a deal breaker for me, Yeah, right,

0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 2>and but not actually understanding actually is it a deal

0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 2>breaker for me? And if so, why? Right? So I

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 2>don't mean like, do you want to have kids or

0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.680
<v Speaker 2>do you not want to have kids, because that's actually

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 2>a pretty concrete thing. But you know, I had a

0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:11.560
<v Speaker 2>a I wrestled with a lot of questions about my

0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 2>religion when I was dating my now husband, And you know,

0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.960
<v Speaker 2>I like to say we're different religions, but I really

0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:22.000
<v Speaker 2>started to understand more about my faith and what I

0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:25.160
<v Speaker 2>cared about because I was with someone who is the

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:28.800
<v Speaker 2>opposite religion, and I feel really lucky for that because

0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:32.000
<v Speaker 2>I really dug into what was important to me about

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:34.560
<v Speaker 2>the rituals that I would ask us to do together

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 2>versus not. But I find a lot of people take

0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.560
<v Speaker 2>trivial things that they're holding on too for whatever block

0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 2>they are, and they hold on to that when they

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:47.520
<v Speaker 2>don't realize actually does that really matter? And so I

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:52.040
<v Speaker 2>think these questions they bring you back to you. So

0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:54.640
<v Speaker 2>they're not like what do you think is the hottest

0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:59.160
<v Speaker 2>part of my body? Or what what do you like

0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.680
<v Speaker 2>when I do to you sexually? Which is a great question,

0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 2>but they start with I answers. So if I understand

0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 2>this about myself, I can be a better partner to you.

0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:26.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you know, I think there's probably levels to this.

0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 1>As you said, don't start off date one with all

0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.280
<v Speaker 1>of these questions. These are things that need to come

0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 1>out over time. Correct.

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and no, I think you can feel the pace,

0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.920
<v Speaker 2>you know. It's everyone goes at their own pace and

0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:45.840
<v Speaker 2>is in a different situation. So like after your first marriage,

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 2>did you reflect on if you were going to get

0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.440
<v Speaker 2>married again sort of what was important to you the

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:52.360
<v Speaker 2>second time around?

0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? For sure, I mean and at first I thought,

0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, I had the knee jerk reaction of number one.

0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be the guy that immediately fall

0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, gets right back into relationship. And I haven't

0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.920
<v Speaker 1>dealt with this seventeen years of baggage, and I have

0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:07.879
<v Speaker 1>two beautiful kids and I'm trying to be a dad.

0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.919
<v Speaker 1>I mainly just was like self restraint of don't be

0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.439
<v Speaker 1>that person that just rebounds right into a relationship. But

0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:18.520
<v Speaker 1>then initially my I wouldn't say it was a deal breaker,

0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:19.840
<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I don't know if I'll ever

0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.240
<v Speaker 1>get married again. And I'm okay if I don't get

0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.520
<v Speaker 1>married again. And Lauren and I talked about that, and

0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.359
<v Speaker 1>the beautiful thing about Lauren is that she kind of

0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.240
<v Speaker 1>felt the same way because she had been married before,

0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.119
<v Speaker 1>and so again we had those talks that if we

0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:37.359
<v Speaker 1>didn't get married, it wasn't the biggest thing in the world.

0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.720
<v Speaker 1>And I'm actually the one that felt like the relationship

0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:43.640
<v Speaker 1>progressed to the point where I wanted to take it there.

0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:46.680
<v Speaker 1>So it got there naturally. And I think maybe your point,

0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 1>and it struck me earlier when you say, oh, this

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:51.560
<v Speaker 1>is just a deal breaker, I am not getting married again.

0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Dive deeper into that. What did that mean really and

0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.000
<v Speaker 1>was that really a deal breaker? And it turns out

0:17:58.000 --> 0:17:58.399
<v Speaker 1>it was not.

0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or like when people say she needs to be

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.200
<v Speaker 2>shorter than me, or he has to be tall, right.

0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.359
<v Speaker 1>And they must be Jewish or Catholic or that's a

0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:11.000
<v Speaker 1>big one. I hear a lot about religion.

0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:16.720
<v Speaker 2>I've heard they can't come from the family of divorced parents.

0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:20.919
<v Speaker 1>Oh gosh, well there's there's seventy five percent of the population.

0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.280
<v Speaker 2>But why does that mean they have unresolved stuff? Maybe

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 2>they're more evolved because of it, but you need to

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:30.399
<v Speaker 2>ask them about it. Don't rule them out because of

0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:31.800
<v Speaker 2>something they couldn't control.

0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:34.359
<v Speaker 1>You know what I find interesting and I'd love to

0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:38.440
<v Speaker 1>get your take on it is the you know, when

0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.399
<v Speaker 1>you start putting those those boxes up of like they

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:44.840
<v Speaker 1>must be taller, or they must be Jewish, or they

0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.000
<v Speaker 1>must be and again some of those I get it,

0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.240
<v Speaker 1>some of those boxes belong. But man, when you consider

0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:54.040
<v Speaker 1>the swath of population you're cutting out, it's hard enough

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.040
<v Speaker 1>to find the one. But if you're saying, Okay, they

0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.320
<v Speaker 1>can't come from a divorce family, well there's fifty to

0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.040
<v Speaker 1>sixty percent of the population. Can't be this can't be

0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:04.359
<v Speaker 1>this well, net, where are you going to find this

0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 1>four percent that you've left in the world that you're

0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.959
<v Speaker 1>going to go try and find. You're just not So

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:11.960
<v Speaker 1>you got to do a deeper dive. And that's what this,

0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:13.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, one of the things you talk about. You

0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.639
<v Speaker 1>got to do a deeper dive of what does this

0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:16.480
<v Speaker 1>stuff really mean?

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.720
<v Speaker 2>You know? And people ask me write a book your

0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.560
<v Speaker 2>TV producer, right, the first question, just like me, The

0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:25.760
<v Speaker 2>first thing you talk about when you create a show

0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 2>or you're you're fixing something is who's the audience? Who

0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:32.040
<v Speaker 2>are we appealing to here? Right? So not every show,

0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 2>not every book can appeal to every single person. But

0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:37.680
<v Speaker 2>what I love about this is that if you're single,

0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, you can flip through this read the story.

0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.240
<v Speaker 2>The story is great, right, I mean, it is such

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.480
<v Speaker 2>a fun, great story. I happened to live it. It

0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:49.359
<v Speaker 2>was not always fun living it, but it's a great read,

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, and then learn from it. Learn from all

0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.760
<v Speaker 2>the other people. You know. I interviewed more than one

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.920
<v Speaker 2>hundred people for this book, right, So learn from their

0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:01.320
<v Speaker 2>stories and then dig in a single person and think, gosh,

0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:05.200
<v Speaker 2>I've never thought of that before. Wow. My parents used

0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.040
<v Speaker 2>to freak me out when they argued, maybe that's why

0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:11.880
<v Speaker 2>I have trouble, you know, bringing up something that's uncomfortable

0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:15.119
<v Speaker 2>to me. That's so normal, right, So that's that. And

0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:17.159
<v Speaker 2>then you know, certainly when you're on the cusp of

0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 2>something pivotal, you should be asking these questions. And then

0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:22.800
<v Speaker 2>just today, so you know, the book's not out yet,

0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:26.680
<v Speaker 2>but I'm it's press is starting to read it and

0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.199
<v Speaker 2>people are interviewing me, which I'm so grateful for. And

0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 2>I got an email from someone who just wrote a

0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:33.840
<v Speaker 2>story on me and the book, and she said, look,

0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I just have to tell you question number twenty five

0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:41.240
<v Speaker 2>blew my husband and me away. She was like, we

0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:43.760
<v Speaker 2>had this issue that we weren't talking about. You know,

0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:47.879
<v Speaker 2>he heard my sister complaining about her marriage to me,

0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:50.800
<v Speaker 2>and he was horrified that we speak to each other

0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:52.880
<v Speaker 2>like that. And we had to have a real sit

0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:57.200
<v Speaker 2>down about how much do we share with our family

0:20:57.480 --> 0:21:00.919
<v Speaker 2>with our friends. And he was supremely pro so he

0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:04.040
<v Speaker 2>was really uncomfortable with that, and it was festering in him.

0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:07.000
<v Speaker 2>She said, and without being this question in your book,

0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.880
<v Speaker 2>I would have never sort of had the courage to say, Okay,

0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 2>we've been married for five years. We have two kids.

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Let's sit down and talk about this.

0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and guys, just know, if they're sisters involved, there

0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:24.560
<v Speaker 1>are no secrets, right, just Lauren has you know, between

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 1>her mom and her sister, there there's nothing that I

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 1>assume they don't know about me or our life. So

0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:33.480
<v Speaker 1>just get over it, guys, that's just sister's trump all.

0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:34.040
<v Speaker 1>That's it.

0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:37.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think I think that's safe to say. I

0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:40.760
<v Speaker 2>have a question for you, actually, Chris and I've always

0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:43.399
<v Speaker 2>wondered this. I've never produced a dating show. I don't know.

0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:45.639
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you and I can come up with something great

0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:49.800
<v Speaker 2>for the future. But you know, for the couples that

0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:52.920
<v Speaker 2>have made it, and that doesn't mean everyone's walking down

0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:54.800
<v Speaker 2>the aisle, but for the couples that have made it,

0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:59.439
<v Speaker 2>you've been a part of their journey. Is there a

0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:05.320
<v Speaker 2>signal significantly more amount of communication that goes into them

0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.679
<v Speaker 2>becoming a success than with others? And clearly, Lee, you

0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:10.280
<v Speaker 2>have to cut this out of the podcast.

0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:12.840
<v Speaker 1>If it's a no, no, it's no for sure. And

0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.720
<v Speaker 1>that's that's what made me kind of when I started thinking,

0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:18.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, going over you know, getting ready for this interview.

0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:21.159
<v Speaker 1>Obviously I relate everything back to like my days on

0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:25.000
<v Speaker 1>the show and about love and romance, and for sure, fine,

0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:28.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, the whole show from my producer standpoint, is

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:31.679
<v Speaker 1>trying to create chemistry and trying to find those connections,

0:22:32.000 --> 0:22:36.119
<v Speaker 1>and you do that through you know, all our questions

0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:40.919
<v Speaker 1>were nonverbal, you know, they weren't written tests. It was

0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:46.080
<v Speaker 1>let's put you in an extreme situation. She's afraid of heights.

0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:49.119
<v Speaker 1>How are you going to comfort her and react in

0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:53.400
<v Speaker 1>this situation? So basically we were asking questions without asking questions,

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:55.680
<v Speaker 1>we were doing the same thing, which is that's how

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I love the correlation between the book and the show.

0:22:58.600 --> 0:23:00.760
<v Speaker 1>We would do those things. Putting someone on a group

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:05.320
<v Speaker 1>date with someone who you hate, are you going to

0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:07.040
<v Speaker 1>start a fight? Are you going to make it all

0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:09.439
<v Speaker 1>about yourself and this other guy instead of making it

0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:12.680
<v Speaker 1>all about you? You know that's you know, I had

0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:15.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot of bachelorettes would walk in the room and

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:18.800
<v Speaker 1>say how about me? Like, you guys haven't said anything

0:23:18.840 --> 0:23:21.639
<v Speaker 1>to me all night. You've been fighting with yourselves. So yeah,

0:23:21.680 --> 0:23:26.840
<v Speaker 1>it's there is an unbelievable correlation between what your theories

0:23:26.880 --> 0:23:28.959
<v Speaker 1>are on these questions and what we were doing for

0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:31.400
<v Speaker 1>so many years. I just didn't think about it maybe

0:23:31.440 --> 0:23:33.479
<v Speaker 1>as technical now as your book.

0:23:33.880 --> 0:23:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, in a perfect world, right, someone's going

0:23:36.560 --> 0:23:38.960
<v Speaker 2>to be in a hot air balloon with a glass

0:23:39.000 --> 0:23:41.960
<v Speaker 2>of wine and the most beautiful meal in front of them,

0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:44.080
<v Speaker 2>and they're going to look into the eyes of the

0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:50.199
<v Speaker 2>other person and say, what pivotal relationship in your life

0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:51.920
<v Speaker 2>do you want to emulate?

0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:55.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but what if you're in that hot air balloon

0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:59.679
<v Speaker 1>and the person you're with lost a parent in a

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:03.720
<v Speaker 1>hot air balloon accident. You know, like that's then they.

0:24:03.680 --> 0:24:06.399
<v Speaker 2>Really have to focus on their answer right now.

0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:09.240
<v Speaker 1>But now that that whole date, everything takes on so

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.200
<v Speaker 1>much more meaning. But you're right asking though, that that

0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:17.720
<v Speaker 1>big question that really dives in is huge. And you know,

0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:20.480
<v Speaker 1>to your point, a lot of the conversations you see

0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:22.639
<v Speaker 1>are so superficial of like what kind of food do

0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:25.960
<v Speaker 1>you like? You know, where's your favorite Italian place in

0:24:26.119 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 1>la It's like, okay, and those aren't horrible questions, but

0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:31.880
<v Speaker 1>that's not going to get us anywhere.

0:24:32.040 --> 0:24:34.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you have to start somewhere, and if you're comfortable

0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:39.400
<v Speaker 2>enough going deeper, then that's certainly indication, right.

0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:41.000
<v Speaker 1>But if you can't go deeper, if it doesn't go

0:24:41.080 --> 0:24:43.399
<v Speaker 1>beyond that. And if you run out of things to

0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:46.320
<v Speaker 1>talk about, and you should never really run out of

0:24:46.359 --> 0:24:48.720
<v Speaker 1>any questions. I mean there's there's a million. I mean,

0:24:48.800 --> 0:24:50.440
<v Speaker 1>you have two hundred and fifty just in your one

0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:52.440
<v Speaker 1>just in books, just two hundred and fifty.

0:24:52.440 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 2>People people thought I was crazy initially when I was

0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:57.880
<v Speaker 2>sort of describing the book and then think, how many

0:24:57.960 --> 0:24:59.800
<v Speaker 2>questions are you going to say, you know, fifty and

0:24:59.840 --> 0:25:04.120
<v Speaker 2>I well, it's two hundred fifty questions And they were like, oh.

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I bet. Publishers were like, should we break this up

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:07.719
<v Speaker 1>into ten books?

0:25:08.200 --> 0:25:11.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Right, talk about a franchise.

0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:14.639
<v Speaker 1>And so, but that is an interesting thought of you

0:25:14.720 --> 0:25:16.800
<v Speaker 1>decided to put all two hundred and fifty and this

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:20.280
<v Speaker 1>story because it all kind of encapsulated throughout with your story.

0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:23.879
<v Speaker 2>It's a journey, and look, I am not interesting enough

0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:29.200
<v Speaker 2>to carry this whole journey, right. So that's why there

0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:32.720
<v Speaker 2>are a couple stories throughout, many different couples. I interviewed

0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 2>many who did the questionnaire, celebrities, subject matter experts. You know,

0:25:37.119 --> 0:25:40.280
<v Speaker 2>I created this great system and it's been validated by

0:25:40.320 --> 0:25:46.479
<v Speaker 2>all these respected people. Psychologists, social psychologists, sex therapists. You know,

0:25:46.560 --> 0:25:49.639
<v Speaker 2>they're all behind it because it does work.

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Lindsay, in one sentence, you just told me you're not

0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:56.359
<v Speaker 1>a reality show contestant. You produced television, and that is

0:25:56.840 --> 0:25:58.959
<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not interesting enough to carry this.

0:25:59.440 --> 0:26:02.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not, but I really can tell a good story.

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Most reality contestants are like, no, I am so interesting.

0:26:06.480 --> 0:26:09.400
<v Speaker 1>People want to know what I'm going to eat for breakfast.

0:26:09.880 --> 0:26:11.639
<v Speaker 1>There were so many they were contestants. They would come

0:26:11.680 --> 0:26:14.280
<v Speaker 1>on the show and they don't realize that the show

0:26:15.040 --> 0:26:17.359
<v Speaker 1>is what's giving you this glow and this fame and

0:26:17.400 --> 0:26:20.800
<v Speaker 1>all this, and they would leave the show and assume

0:26:20.920 --> 0:26:24.600
<v Speaker 1>that people just really cared so much about them their

0:26:24.640 --> 0:26:26.639
<v Speaker 1>everyday life. I'm going to do a you know, like

0:26:26.680 --> 0:26:29.119
<v Speaker 1>the Kardashians ruined everything for everybody. I'm going to do

0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:32.240
<v Speaker 1>a Kardashian type show where cameras just follow me around

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:35.560
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, Okay, what's what's the catch, What's what

0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:37.600
<v Speaker 1>are you producing? It's like, oh, nothing, They just I

0:26:37.600 --> 0:26:39.280
<v Speaker 1>think people just want to know what I'm doing. And

0:26:39.320 --> 0:26:41.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, sweetheart, good luck with that.

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Wasn't that so funny? People must they do this with

0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:46.480
<v Speaker 2>me too? They come up to me all the time.

0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:49.520
<v Speaker 2>I got the best idea for yes, and you hear

0:26:49.560 --> 0:26:50.200
<v Speaker 2>it and you're like.

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:54.240
<v Speaker 1>And and where's the television? Yeah?

0:26:55.320 --> 0:26:56.919
<v Speaker 2>So what are people watching?

0:26:56.920 --> 0:26:59.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, my family, my brother and I are so wacky.

0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:01.879
<v Speaker 1>Man following us around. You should follow us when we

0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:04.240
<v Speaker 1>go to a football game. It's crazy. And I'm like,

0:27:04.480 --> 0:27:07.639
<v Speaker 1>that's yeah. You're just describing Instagram and TikTok to me.

0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, one hundred percent. And you know what, there's a

0:27:10.640 --> 0:27:13.080
<v Speaker 2>place for that, and there's a place for anything. And

0:27:13.440 --> 0:27:16.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, I love I'm like you. I heard you

0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:19.560
<v Speaker 2>say recently, you know you were doing some some prep

0:27:19.600 --> 0:27:21.800
<v Speaker 2>for this interview. I was as well, and I just

0:27:22.040 --> 0:27:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I heard you say so many times that you love love.

0:27:24.760 --> 0:27:25.040
<v Speaker 1>I do.

0:27:25.800 --> 0:27:31.399
<v Speaker 2>I love love. I love dating shows. I love watching people.

0:27:31.480 --> 0:27:34.520
<v Speaker 2>I love watching their eyes and that moment where you're like, oh,

0:27:35.160 --> 0:27:38.719
<v Speaker 2>it's there. I love meeting someone on the street and

0:27:38.760 --> 0:27:40.800
<v Speaker 2>they tell me they're single. My husband wants to like

0:27:40.880 --> 0:27:43.679
<v Speaker 2>pull me away at that very moment because he's like,

0:27:43.920 --> 0:27:46.440
<v Speaker 2>oh god, because I want to set them up if

0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:50.560
<v Speaker 2>that's what they want, because it's beautiful and healthy love.

0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Have you watched the Adam Brodie Kristen Bell.

0:27:54.080 --> 0:27:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, I swear I was just getting when

0:27:56.000 --> 0:27:58.359
<v Speaker 1>we got into the religious part, I was like, nobody

0:27:58.440 --> 0:28:00.840
<v Speaker 1>wants this is the new Kristen Bell Show. It's on

0:28:00.920 --> 0:28:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Netflix and I can't recommend it enough.

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:06.120
<v Speaker 2>If you want to see a hot rabbi and Kristen Bell,

0:28:06.200 --> 0:28:10.199
<v Speaker 2>it's like your dream past, you know. And people, so

0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:13.440
<v Speaker 2>it's all over Instagram. Obviously. It's a great show and people.

0:28:13.200 --> 0:28:15.800
<v Speaker 1>Are a lot. It's just such a simple rom com.

0:28:15.840 --> 0:28:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I love that it's like, Okay, let's not think too hard.

0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:21.040
<v Speaker 1>It's so finally and it doesn't have to be so

0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:24.359
<v Speaker 1>serious and so like I feel like everything I watch

0:28:24.440 --> 0:28:28.480
<v Speaker 1>now is so intense and like negative and dark intense.

0:28:28.800 --> 0:28:33.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And so that's why this show celebrates people communicate

0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:37.480
<v Speaker 2>and people who are figuring out their lives together. And

0:28:37.560 --> 0:28:41.280
<v Speaker 2>I love that there's this sort of healthy love movement

0:28:41.880 --> 0:28:43.360
<v Speaker 2>going on. Do you know what I mean?

0:28:43.640 --> 0:28:47.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, what I love is they they literally talk about

0:28:47.440 --> 0:28:50.520
<v Speaker 1>what you probably went through is you know, spoiler alert.

0:28:51.040 --> 0:28:54.280
<v Speaker 1>He's Jewish, he's a rabbi, she's not, and they're they're

0:28:54.320 --> 0:28:57.880
<v Speaker 1>dealing with that and trying to overcome that and having conversations.

0:28:57.920 --> 0:29:00.959
<v Speaker 1>And I'll be honest, sometimes they can unicate well about it.

0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes they don't, and that's that's real life, which is

0:29:03.560 --> 0:29:05.520
<v Speaker 1>what I like about watching the show.

0:29:06.080 --> 0:29:08.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and there's there are moments in it too where

0:29:08.320 --> 0:29:11.240
<v Speaker 2>you have to think about is this the right relationship

0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 2>for me? But is it also the right relationship for him?

0:29:15.400 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 2>And if I bring this to his life, is that

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:20.480
<v Speaker 2>going to be okay for him? And is this going

0:29:20.560 --> 0:29:22.240
<v Speaker 2>to be okay for me too? It's like, is there's

0:29:22.240 --> 0:29:25.400
<v Speaker 2>a greater good here too? It's a it's a it's

0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:29.200
<v Speaker 2>a bit the stereotype, but it's it's a it's a

0:29:29.240 --> 0:29:32.560
<v Speaker 2>great show with a great cast, and you start, you know,

0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:35.479
<v Speaker 2>you reflect and actually one of the things that I

0:29:35.520 --> 0:29:38.560
<v Speaker 2>love to bring it back to my book of course.

0:29:38.480 --> 0:29:42.600
<v Speaker 1>Let's do It. Romances and Practicalities comes out January twenty eighth.

0:29:42.840 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Find it where you find all great books.

0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes, exactly, just go on the on your computer or

0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:52.600
<v Speaker 2>your phone. People read it and they love to talk

0:29:52.640 --> 0:29:59.160
<v Speaker 2>about themselves. It opens something up in people, and I

0:29:59.240 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 2>love that because, again, like you, I'm happy to step

0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:06.520
<v Speaker 2>in talk about it and then step back and let

0:30:06.560 --> 0:30:11.920
<v Speaker 2>the magic happen. Yeah, and it happens differently for everyone,

0:30:12.880 --> 0:30:15.920
<v Speaker 2>but it happens, and it's incredible.

0:30:15.960 --> 0:30:18.400
<v Speaker 1>And when you see it work. And when I say

0:30:18.440 --> 0:30:21.760
<v Speaker 1>I love love, I mean that was when people said

0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:23.800
<v Speaker 1>I did a good job on the Bachelorts. I did care.

0:30:23.920 --> 0:30:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I cared about these people. I wanted it to work. Yes,

0:30:26.320 --> 0:30:28.720
<v Speaker 1>I wanted ratings. And I know we were making television

0:30:29.160 --> 0:30:30.800
<v Speaker 1>and we were good at that too. But I really

0:30:31.080 --> 0:30:34.360
<v Speaker 1>loved seeing these people get married and now going to

0:30:34.440 --> 0:30:38.680
<v Speaker 1>weddings and seeing children being born, and you're like, this works.

0:30:38.800 --> 0:30:42.080
<v Speaker 1>This really is a beautiful thing when it works, and

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:46.000
<v Speaker 1>it's hard and it's a it's not always perfect. And

0:30:46.600 --> 0:30:49.960
<v Speaker 1>I have always relished that too, of watching the awkward

0:30:50.160 --> 0:30:52.320
<v Speaker 1>and seeing the crash and burn we all do.

0:30:52.520 --> 0:30:56.000
<v Speaker 2>Awkward is not bad though, actually it has awkward. No,

0:30:56.080 --> 0:30:59.720
<v Speaker 2>but we've just gotten into like a life of thinking

0:31:00.400 --> 0:31:01.640
<v Speaker 2>awkward is bad.

0:31:02.000 --> 0:31:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, because Instagram and social media, there is no awkward. Typically,

0:31:05.640 --> 0:31:08.719
<v Speaker 1>it's just perfect, right, that's right, you pick the right filter,

0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:14.040
<v Speaker 1>no blemishes, you know, No, it's everything's perfect and glossy

0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:16.520
<v Speaker 1>and it's in sixteen seventeen second clips. But that's not

0:31:16.640 --> 0:31:18.560
<v Speaker 1>life at all. Life is messy.

0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:22.960
<v Speaker 2>Life is awkward, and overcoming awkward leaves leads to awesome.

0:31:23.400 --> 0:31:27.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and so you know, I one thing about and

0:31:27.520 --> 0:31:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to promote this show, but one thing

0:31:30.960 --> 0:31:33.160
<v Speaker 1>about the show that and I hear this more and more,

0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:34.880
<v Speaker 1>and maybe it's from the show as everyone talks about

0:31:34.920 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 1>the ick, right, Oh, I got the ick. This thing

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:39.400
<v Speaker 1>gave me the ick. I just you know, you kind

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:42.200
<v Speaker 1>of go back to these deal breakers, and that, to me,

0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:47.120
<v Speaker 1>is a very dangerous mindfield to be walking through of

0:31:47.280 --> 0:31:50.680
<v Speaker 1>somebody did something awkward, or somebody did something we're like, ooh,

0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:53.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. You kind of have to get over

0:31:53.680 --> 0:31:54.640
<v Speaker 1>yourself a little bit.

0:31:55.120 --> 0:31:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I feel like the ick says so much more about

0:31:57.160 --> 0:31:59.360
<v Speaker 2>you than it does the other person. You know, whatever

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:01.800
<v Speaker 2>weird thing they did that gave you the ick, it's like,

0:32:01.960 --> 0:32:07.200
<v Speaker 2>hold on, why did this totally shut me off? Why

0:32:07.200 --> 0:32:10.320
<v Speaker 2>did this give me the eck? So that's jump on you.

0:32:10.400 --> 0:32:12.760
<v Speaker 1>Versus a lot of it, you know, I think a

0:32:12.760 --> 0:32:14.680
<v Speaker 1>lot of it in a lot of things, in relationships

0:32:14.720 --> 0:32:18.040
<v Speaker 1>and communication and conversations. Again, a lot of it. That's

0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:21.120
<v Speaker 1>why I started this off by saying, Wow, you being

0:32:21.160 --> 0:32:24.000
<v Speaker 1>so self reflective was such a healthy thing because most

0:32:24.000 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 1>of us don't. Most of us, it's so much easier

0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:29.960
<v Speaker 1>to look outward than inward. It's easy to be it's

0:32:29.960 --> 0:32:33.200
<v Speaker 1>so easy to judge, and to be judged is really difficult.

0:32:33.960 --> 0:32:36.200
<v Speaker 1>That's what makes our business so hard because you're constantly

0:32:36.240 --> 0:32:37.080
<v Speaker 1>just being judged.

0:32:37.240 --> 0:32:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Totally.

0:32:49.680 --> 0:32:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Okay, if you have is there a section in the

0:32:51.760 --> 0:32:53.800
<v Speaker 1>book and I'm going to ask you to pick a child?

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:56.120
<v Speaker 1>But let's be honest. I have two children, and I

0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:58.320
<v Speaker 1>have a favor from time to time, So I'm gonna

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:01.200
<v Speaker 1>ask you to pick a child. Is there a section

0:33:01.240 --> 0:33:03.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to ask you for one question that's impossible,

0:33:04.240 --> 0:33:08.840
<v Speaker 1>but is there a section of questions that you think? This?

0:33:09.920 --> 0:33:12.640
<v Speaker 1>To me is my favorite child? If you can get

0:33:12.680 --> 0:33:16.600
<v Speaker 1>to this stage, this is kind of that Malcolm Gladwell

0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:17.240
<v Speaker 1>tipping point.

0:33:17.720 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 2>That's such a good question. No one's asked me that yet,

0:33:21.840 --> 0:33:25.120
<v Speaker 2>so thank you for making me a little bit. As

0:33:25.160 --> 0:33:26.680
<v Speaker 2>you can see, I'm trying to think of my answer.

0:33:26.720 --> 0:33:27.760
<v Speaker 2>As I replied to.

0:33:27.760 --> 0:33:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Your question, Well, you know, I love Malcolm glad Well,

0:33:29.640 --> 0:33:31.840
<v Speaker 1>so I love that side of it.

0:33:32.360 --> 0:33:36.880
<v Speaker 2>So for me, I would say my favorite questions were

0:33:36.920 --> 0:33:42.160
<v Speaker 2>the it's the religion section because for us they were

0:33:42.200 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 2>the hardest. They were what we saved for last. They

0:33:45.120 --> 0:33:48.440
<v Speaker 2>were the ones that I didn't handle perfectly. They were

0:33:48.440 --> 0:33:51.120
<v Speaker 2>the ones that if I could redo, I would do

0:33:51.160 --> 0:33:56.040
<v Speaker 2>a little bit better, but I struggled there and they

0:33:56.080 --> 0:34:00.240
<v Speaker 2>were very hard for me. So writing that chapter, you know,

0:34:00.320 --> 0:34:03.480
<v Speaker 2>I brought in a rabbi, I brought in a priest,

0:34:04.240 --> 0:34:07.840
<v Speaker 2>I brought in religious leaders to talk about what this

0:34:08.000 --> 0:34:11.879
<v Speaker 2>means for different people, because I know it's hard, and

0:34:12.000 --> 0:34:15.960
<v Speaker 2>I know that that's something that comes from our childhood, right,

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:20.239
<v Speaker 2>how we feel about religion or spirituality. And you know,

0:34:20.320 --> 0:34:22.960
<v Speaker 2>part of this book is trying to celebrate people for

0:34:23.000 --> 0:34:27.360
<v Speaker 2>who they are, which where you come from does determine

0:34:27.360 --> 0:34:31.600
<v Speaker 2>where you are, but you know, learning about boundaries and

0:34:32.000 --> 0:34:35.400
<v Speaker 2>answering questions about religion. You know, just because you grew

0:34:35.480 --> 0:34:38.920
<v Speaker 2>up Kosher, for example, you know a lot of people

0:34:39.040 --> 0:34:42.239
<v Speaker 2>just say, oh, with someone else who's Jewish will be kosher, right,

0:34:42.360 --> 0:34:45.399
<v Speaker 2>And it's like, hold on, why it's okay if you're

0:34:45.400 --> 0:34:49.560
<v Speaker 2>doing that ritual because your family, But please understand why

0:34:49.680 --> 0:34:50.399
<v Speaker 2>that's what I ask.

0:34:50.640 --> 0:34:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Understand why that's It's fascinating, you know what hits you

0:34:55.640 --> 0:34:59.279
<v Speaker 1>the most, and that makes sense. And I bet it

0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:02.399
<v Speaker 1>was honestly tough to even watch the show Nobody wants

0:35:02.480 --> 0:35:05.040
<v Speaker 1>this because it sounds like it was loosely based on

0:35:05.080 --> 0:35:05.520
<v Speaker 1>your life.

0:35:06.120 --> 0:35:10.080
<v Speaker 2>It was so it was so fun, it was so interesting,

0:35:10.200 --> 0:35:13.000
<v Speaker 2>and this is just eye candy meets.

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:16.239
<v Speaker 1>Real life right see for us. And that's why I

0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:21.040
<v Speaker 1>think picking your favorite child is the operative word for that,

0:35:21.120 --> 0:35:23.520
<v Speaker 1>because anybody that reads your book is going to find

0:35:23.640 --> 0:35:26.239
<v Speaker 1>a different favorite child. Like Lauren and I when we

0:35:26.719 --> 0:35:29.400
<v Speaker 1>started communicating and all that, she comes from a family

0:35:29.440 --> 0:35:30.000
<v Speaker 1>of lawyers.

0:35:30.320 --> 0:35:32.760
<v Speaker 2>Why Lauren, Oh, I feel you girl?

0:35:33.120 --> 0:35:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean dad, her dad was a great lawyer

0:35:36.239 --> 0:35:39.480
<v Speaker 1>before he passed away. Her mom, her brother's a fantastic lawyer.

0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:43.080
<v Speaker 1>They argue, they argue, and they they get after it

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:44.800
<v Speaker 1>and by the way, you better bring facts and you

0:35:44.880 --> 0:35:47.799
<v Speaker 1>better be good at it. But I didn't come from

0:35:47.800 --> 0:35:51.200
<v Speaker 1>a family that that did that, and I it was

0:35:51.280 --> 0:35:53.839
<v Speaker 1>harsh for me, and it took me aback and I

0:35:53.880 --> 0:35:56.560
<v Speaker 1>had to realize, this is their love language. This is

0:35:56.560 --> 0:35:58.480
<v Speaker 1>how they speak love. And if you can hang and

0:35:58.520 --> 0:36:02.399
<v Speaker 1>you can contend in this arena, that's how you earn

0:36:02.440 --> 0:36:04.040
<v Speaker 1>their respect and you kind of, you know, mix it

0:36:04.120 --> 0:36:08.440
<v Speaker 1>up a little bit. But for me, that felt like

0:36:08.520 --> 0:36:10.560
<v Speaker 1>there was vitriol in the air and it was mean

0:36:11.000 --> 0:36:13.560
<v Speaker 1>and contentious, and I was taking it the wrong way.

0:36:13.640 --> 0:36:15.680
<v Speaker 1>And so I had to communicate that and it was

0:36:15.719 --> 0:36:17.160
<v Speaker 1>hard for me, and so that would have been my

0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:20.960
<v Speaker 1>favorite child in your book. Having that conversation was important

0:36:20.960 --> 0:36:21.960
<v Speaker 1>for us well.

0:36:22.000 --> 0:36:26.080
<v Speaker 2>And sometimes it takes another person to help you understand

0:36:26.239 --> 0:36:28.719
<v Speaker 2>your family, right, So Lauren could have easily said, do

0:36:28.719 --> 0:36:30.719
<v Speaker 2>you right, That's how we communicate, That's how it is,

0:36:30.800 --> 0:36:33.560
<v Speaker 2>that's what I grew up with. But it sounds to

0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:37.320
<v Speaker 2>me like she was able to self reflect and understand. Gosh,

0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:40.319
<v Speaker 2>that is. That can be tough for someone who's and

0:36:40.360 --> 0:36:41.719
<v Speaker 2>you were grown up. It's not like you were a

0:36:41.760 --> 0:36:43.360
<v Speaker 2>child when you were coming into this relationship.

0:36:43.360 --> 0:36:45.239
<v Speaker 1>Oil is interesting, but I had to go back to

0:36:45.280 --> 0:36:48.400
<v Speaker 1>my childhood and Lauren and I had that conversation to

0:36:48.480 --> 0:36:51.840
<v Speaker 1>your point of being self reflective. Why didn't my family

0:36:52.680 --> 0:36:55.520
<v Speaker 1>discuss that way? Why weren't we you know, were we

0:36:55.680 --> 0:36:59.400
<v Speaker 1>just good Southern folk where we got you know, bless

0:36:59.440 --> 0:37:01.719
<v Speaker 1>your heart, bread sit under the rug and go on,

0:37:01.840 --> 0:37:04.040
<v Speaker 1>and we don't you know, don't talk about your feelings.

0:37:04.040 --> 0:37:07.160
<v Speaker 1>You swallow them, you know. And my family wasn't necessarily

0:37:07.200 --> 0:37:09.360
<v Speaker 1>like that. But those are the things you have to

0:37:09.440 --> 0:37:12.680
<v Speaker 1>question of Why didn't we talk like that?

0:37:13.120 --> 0:37:14.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, there are so many people that I

0:37:14.600 --> 0:37:18.439
<v Speaker 2>spoke to who had very you know, young people who

0:37:18.440 --> 0:37:24.359
<v Speaker 2>had very old fashion views on sex and masturbation and

0:37:25.320 --> 0:37:29.320
<v Speaker 2>monogamy non monogamy, and some of them went to Catholic school.

0:37:29.520 --> 0:37:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Some of their families never talked to them about it,

0:37:31.960 --> 0:37:36.200
<v Speaker 2>and you know, it was they had to figure something out,

0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:39.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, in these relationships.

0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Because most of the time, we just start having sex, right,

0:37:41.239 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 1>That's why you know you're in a relationship. You start

0:37:43.120 --> 0:37:46.359
<v Speaker 1>having sex, and sometimes it's good, it's sometimes it's great.

0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:48.960
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you just kind of keep going and if something's

0:37:48.960 --> 0:37:54.000
<v Speaker 1>wrong and you're not saying something that's huge, you could

0:37:54.000 --> 0:37:57.239
<v Speaker 1>get out of a great relationship. And if you had

0:37:57.280 --> 0:37:59.720
<v Speaker 1>just asked a question or two, you could have broached

0:37:59.719 --> 0:38:00.400
<v Speaker 1>that object.

0:38:01.000 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 2>There's a great story in the book about this woman

0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:08.279
<v Speaker 2>who met someone and their chemistry was incredible, right, they

0:38:08.280 --> 0:38:10.120
<v Speaker 2>did talk about stuff, and then they went to have

0:38:10.160 --> 0:38:15.600
<v Speaker 2>sex and it was horrendous, and she thought, I have

0:38:15.640 --> 0:38:17.920
<v Speaker 2>to end this relationship. I can't be with someone I

0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:22.480
<v Speaker 2>can't have sex with. And she spoke to this man

0:38:23.320 --> 0:38:25.279
<v Speaker 2>and she sort of made the decision, I'm going to

0:38:25.360 --> 0:38:30.000
<v Speaker 2>go for it, and he was receptive to learning about

0:38:30.160 --> 0:38:33.560
<v Speaker 2>how to have better sex with her. Based. You know,

0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:35.680
<v Speaker 2>he was with someone for many years. That's what he

0:38:35.760 --> 0:38:38.200
<v Speaker 2>thought sex was, and they were together for more than

0:38:38.239 --> 0:38:41.319
<v Speaker 2>a decade because they had the conversation about it.

0:38:41.560 --> 0:38:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Let's start the conversation.

0:38:43.480 --> 0:38:45.560
<v Speaker 2>And it is scary to bring up something like that.

0:38:45.640 --> 0:38:45.920
<v Speaker 2>It is.

0:38:46.000 --> 0:38:48.640
<v Speaker 1>It is. Yeah, there are things that are easier than

0:38:48.680 --> 0:38:51.520
<v Speaker 1>others and stuff that's in the bedroom and sex because again,

0:38:51.719 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 1>we've we've made it so taboo, we've made it so

0:38:55.640 --> 0:38:58.640
<v Speaker 1>off limits that You're right, it's scary.

0:38:59.640 --> 0:39:02.960
<v Speaker 2>Do you You and Lauren have various check ins with

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:05.040
<v Speaker 2>each other, do check in about certain things.

0:39:05.840 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 1>Again, Lauren is such a great communicator, one of the

0:39:08.560 --> 0:39:12.239
<v Speaker 1>many reasons why I love her. We it's impossible not

0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:12.759
<v Speaker 1>to check in.

0:39:13.760 --> 0:39:16.400
<v Speaker 2>That's amazing. She set up a great structure.

0:39:16.239 --> 0:39:19.600
<v Speaker 1>She really has. We are constantly communicating. We constantly talk

0:39:20.400 --> 0:39:22.319
<v Speaker 1>to the point where you know, she knows that, like

0:39:22.440 --> 0:39:24.759
<v Speaker 1>I know, women have a lot more words to get

0:39:24.760 --> 0:39:26.800
<v Speaker 1>out during the day. I know you might be done,

0:39:27.280 --> 0:39:30.600
<v Speaker 1>so she'll let me go to sleep. But yeah, no,

0:39:30.680 --> 0:39:34.040
<v Speaker 1>we That's one thing that's definitely different from my first

0:39:34.040 --> 0:39:37.840
<v Speaker 1>marriage was just I'm such a better communicator, and I

0:39:37.880 --> 0:39:40.560
<v Speaker 1>really thought I was. Honestly, I thought I was a

0:39:40.840 --> 0:39:46.400
<v Speaker 1>very caring, attentive, communicative guy, especially for a guy. You know,

0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:49.239
<v Speaker 1>men were not the smartest animals in the world. But

0:39:49.320 --> 0:39:51.759
<v Speaker 1>I thought I was above average and good and I

0:39:51.840 --> 0:39:53.880
<v Speaker 1>was decent at it, but not compared to what I

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:56.799
<v Speaker 1>needed to be. And that's why I think, you know,

0:39:56.840 --> 0:40:00.440
<v Speaker 1>your book is so imperative for people to die into

0:40:00.480 --> 0:40:02.560
<v Speaker 1>for their relationship. I think it's invaluable.

0:40:02.840 --> 0:40:04.920
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. I mean, look by the way, I think

0:40:04.960 --> 0:40:07.680
<v Speaker 2>you're being a little hard on yourself. I think you know,

0:40:07.880 --> 0:40:10.840
<v Speaker 2>for the first relationship that you were in, you needed

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:13.560
<v Speaker 2>to be a different kind of communicator for it to succeed.

0:40:13.960 --> 0:40:15.960
<v Speaker 2>But actually you have to find the right mode of

0:40:16.000 --> 0:40:20.520
<v Speaker 2>communication for you in the partnership that you're in. Right,

0:40:20.600 --> 0:40:23.480
<v Speaker 2>so there should be a great base level. But but

0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:26.200
<v Speaker 2>don't try to be something that you're not anything.

0:40:26.400 --> 0:40:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Well, and we were children, you know, you're you know,

0:40:28.200 --> 0:40:30.359
<v Speaker 1>getting together in your teens and getting married in your

0:40:30.400 --> 0:40:33.759
<v Speaker 1>early twenties. I mean, our frontal lobes weren't even formed yet.

0:40:33.840 --> 0:40:37.760
<v Speaker 1>So we have to give ourselves some grace, yes.

0:40:37.680 --> 0:40:40.160
<v Speaker 2>And that's part of this is giving yourself grace.

0:40:40.640 --> 0:40:42.319
<v Speaker 1>Lindsay, I could go on for days on this. I

0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:44.880
<v Speaker 1>love this and I think eventually we need to work together.

0:40:45.080 --> 0:40:48.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I just all the ideas, Chris, all the ideas.

0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:52.080
<v Speaker 2>I did watch you, I watched you host, I watched you,

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:54.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, live this life. And I think what you've

0:40:54.400 --> 0:40:57.959
<v Speaker 2>experienced is is so great. And I because you've seen

0:40:58.000 --> 0:41:02.040
<v Speaker 2>so much love. I I'm just so grateful that you're

0:41:02.040 --> 0:41:05.360
<v Speaker 2>willing to explore this kind of love with me. That's,

0:41:05.520 --> 0:41:09.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, not being alone on a beach on an island,

0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:14.480
<v Speaker 2>but creating that same passion through communication. So I'm so

0:41:14.520 --> 0:41:18.600
<v Speaker 2>grateful to you for reading this book and enjoying it.

0:41:18.320 --> 0:41:20.279
<v Speaker 1>It's it's really my pleasure. And yeah, for most of

0:41:20.320 --> 0:41:22.360
<v Speaker 1>us that can't just jet off to Bora Bora and

0:41:22.400 --> 0:41:25.120
<v Speaker 1>solve all our problems. We have to live in the

0:41:25.120 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 1>real world with children and jobs and parents and things,

0:41:28.120 --> 0:41:29.719
<v Speaker 1>and we have to you know, we have to do

0:41:29.760 --> 0:41:31.560
<v Speaker 1>the work. And that's that's part of it, and so

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:33.560
<v Speaker 1>this but this book makes it fun.

0:41:33.880 --> 0:41:34.920
<v Speaker 2>The work is fun.

0:41:35.080 --> 0:41:36.880
<v Speaker 1>The work is fun. It's and by the way, as

0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:39.120
<v Speaker 1>you said, most times you dive into some of these

0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:43.719
<v Speaker 1>conversations and it gets really intimate and you you'll, trust me,

0:41:43.760 --> 0:41:49.440
<v Speaker 1>You'll you'll reap the rewards. Lindsey thank you, Thank you

0:41:49.480 --> 0:41:52.960
<v Speaker 1>so much. I appreciate it. The book Romances and Practicalities

0:41:53.000 --> 0:41:56.960
<v Speaker 1>drops January twenty fifth. Wherever books are found, and where

0:41:57.000 --> 0:41:59.640
<v Speaker 1>can we find you? To find you on socials. To

0:41:59.640 --> 0:42:01.440
<v Speaker 1>find the book on socials.

0:42:01.560 --> 0:42:05.719
<v Speaker 2>Find me on social at Lindsay Jill Roth on all socials.

0:42:05.719 --> 0:42:07.840
<v Speaker 2>You can go to my website, you can go to Amazon,

0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:10.680
<v Speaker 2>you can google my name with Chris Harrison now and

0:42:11.000 --> 0:42:12.160
<v Speaker 2>you know we're linked forever.

0:42:12.320 --> 0:42:14.960
<v Speaker 1>So we are well. And I'm glad that you mentioned

0:42:15.000 --> 0:42:16.839
<v Speaker 1>before we came on. You and I were chatting and

0:42:16.880 --> 0:42:19.440
<v Speaker 1>you and I had taught worked when I was on

0:42:19.520 --> 0:42:22.840
<v Speaker 1>Larry King Live. One of the great highlights of my

0:42:22.880 --> 0:42:25.279
<v Speaker 1>career was making it on with Larry King, one of

0:42:25.280 --> 0:42:27.320
<v Speaker 1>the great interviewers. And you worked side by side with

0:42:27.400 --> 0:42:28.400
<v Speaker 1>him for years.

0:42:28.440 --> 0:42:30.560
<v Speaker 2>And you had a great interview with him. He's such

0:42:30.600 --> 0:42:34.239
<v Speaker 2>a curious man, or he was, and you guys really

0:42:34.280 --> 0:42:35.839
<v Speaker 2>had a wonderful conversation that day.

0:42:36.080 --> 0:42:38.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love people that just dive in, like you said,

0:42:38.520 --> 0:42:40.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, he was a good, good impetus and maybe

0:42:40.680 --> 0:42:42.839
<v Speaker 1>foreshadowing for your book because he was so good at

0:42:42.880 --> 0:42:45.520
<v Speaker 1>just I'm just diving in. I'm going to ask the question.

0:42:46.400 --> 0:42:48.479
<v Speaker 2>Look, he said to me once, and I do mention

0:42:48.600 --> 0:42:51.080
<v Speaker 2>this at the back of the book. He said, you know, Lindsay,

0:42:51.920 --> 0:42:56.720
<v Speaker 2>I didn't date women, I married them, and that always

0:42:56.719 --> 0:42:57.360
<v Speaker 2>stuck with me.

0:42:57.840 --> 0:43:01.279
<v Speaker 1>Interesting. Yeah, yeah, is up.

0:43:01.160 --> 0:43:04.600
<v Speaker 2>There, please ask some questions. I don't know how I'm

0:43:04.600 --> 0:43:06.640
<v Speaker 2>married since he's been up there now, but I hope

0:43:06.640 --> 0:43:08.640
<v Speaker 2>he's asking some questions. Well.

0:43:08.640 --> 0:43:10.719
<v Speaker 1>I hope when we make that transition, we get the

0:43:10.760 --> 0:43:14.879
<v Speaker 1>wisdom to start asking the right questions. Lindsey Jill Roth,

0:43:14.920 --> 0:43:18.239
<v Speaker 1>thank you for your time. Congratulations on the book, look

0:43:18.280 --> 0:43:20.439
<v Speaker 1>forward to it dropping on January twenty fifth, and thanks

0:43:20.440 --> 0:43:23.480
<v Speaker 1>for being on the Most Dramatic podcast Ever. Thanks Chris,

0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:26.440
<v Speaker 1>thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most

0:43:26.520 --> 0:43:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a

0:43:29.040 --> 0:43:31.719
<v Speaker 1>review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you

0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:32.160
<v Speaker 1>next time.