WEBVTT - #71 La Fortitudo

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<v Speaker 1>Pushkin. Yeah. Hey, do you remember that commercial about how

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<v Speaker 1>many lakes it takes to get to the center of a.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm going to get off the phone right now

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<v Speaker 2>because I just got to the fish store and I

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<v Speaker 2>have to go inside.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, why are you going to a fish store?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I'm going to.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do you think I'm going to a fish store?

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea.

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<v Speaker 2>To buy a side of beef?

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<v Speaker 3>Like, what am I doing at a fish store?

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<v Speaker 1>I was just making conversation. I'm buying some fish. What

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<v Speaker 1>kind of fish are you getting? Salmon.

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<v Speaker 4>What?

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<v Speaker 5>Salmon.

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<v Speaker 6>What?

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<v Speaker 1>Salmon.

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<v Speaker 6>What?

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<v Speaker 5>God.

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<v Speaker 3>What?

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<v Speaker 1>What? From Pushkin Industries, I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's episode, La Fortitudo. right after the break. Even I

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<v Speaker 1>can see the beauty.

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<v Speaker 3>There is just no better feeling and no better sound

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<v Speaker 3>on this earth as far as I'm concerned. There is

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<v Speaker 3>a crack that is so resonant, so absolutely gorgeous, and

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<v Speaker 3>it's the most ethereal feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you actually have a memory of the very first

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<v Speaker 1>time you hit a baseball?

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<v Speaker 3>I remember it perfectly. I'm 13 years old. It's towards

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<v Speaker 3>the end of the game, two outs. And I got

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<v Speaker 3>the bat on the ball pretty good. I remember standing

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<v Speaker 3>on second base feeling like I belonged.

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<v Speaker 1>From the time Dan started playing baseball, his life mission

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<v Speaker 1>was set.

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<v Speaker 3>I was going to become a major leaguer. I just

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<v Speaker 3>had to make it happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Dan attended baseball camps and watched VHS tutorials. He spent

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<v Speaker 1>hours dissecting hitting manuals from cover to cover. The only problem?

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<v Speaker 3>Despite all that instruction and study, I was lousy.

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<v Speaker 1>As an underclassman, Dan played for the JV team.

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<v Speaker 3>I got cut from the JV.

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<v Speaker 1>As a junior, he tried out for varsity.

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<v Speaker 3>They cut me.

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<v Speaker 1>And then, as a senior, he tried out again.

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<v Speaker 3>They cut me.

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<v Speaker 1>Finally, Dan got the message.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing was going to happen, and the dream was done.

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<v Speaker 1>Or so Dan thought. Because even though he'd given up

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<v Speaker 1>on baseball... baseball hadn't given up on him. Baseball's return

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<v Speaker 1>to Dan's life is a twisty tale. While he was

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<v Speaker 1>away at college, Dan's parents fell on hard times and

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<v Speaker 1>were forced to move in with his grandparents. After graduating,

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<v Speaker 1>Dan moved into their tiny two-bedroom condo. And about a

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<v Speaker 1>year and a half later, his grandfather suffered a stroke

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<v Speaker 1>and died.

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<v Speaker 3>About six weeks after he died, I told my parents

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't take it anymore. It was just too hard.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm taking off. I'm going to go to Italy.

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<v Speaker 1>In college, Dan had grown friendly with a boy named

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<v Speaker 1>Giovanni who came from Florence. The way he spoke of

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<v Speaker 1>life there sounded romantic. So Dan bought a one-way ticket,

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<v Speaker 1>moved in with him, and started looking for work.

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<v Speaker 3>When I say seven days a week, I mean seven

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<v Speaker 3>days a week I pounded the pavement of Florence, Italy,

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<v Speaker 3>trying to find a job. I think I lost about

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<v Speaker 3>20 pounds just from walking. Like, every single day.

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<v Speaker 1>This went on for three months, until one day, after

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<v Speaker 1>yet another fruitless job interview, Dan saw a small flyer

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<v Speaker 1>pinned to a bulletin board in the train station.

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<v Speaker 3>And it said something about a baseball team in Bologna

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<v Speaker 3>and the season is starting.

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<v Speaker 1>The team was called La Fortitudo, meaning the courage, the strength. Dan, desperate,

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<v Speaker 1>saw a chance to wet his childhood dream of joining

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<v Speaker 1>a professional baseball team with his more recent dream of

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<v Speaker 1>getting a job, literally any job.

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<v Speaker 3>So I fabricated a resume about my baseball experience.

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<v Speaker 1>All these years later, Dan still has the fake resume.

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<v Speaker 3>So let's see here. Um, I think I had some

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<v Speaker 3>help with the Italian at this point. Um, prima base,

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<v Speaker 3>which means first base, University of California, Davis, Division II,

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<v Speaker 3>giocatore allenatore, which means player, coach, woodland Phillies. I said

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<v Speaker 3>I won the California championship for semi-professional baseball.

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<v Speaker 1>What does semi-professional mean?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think it means anything. I came up with

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<v Speaker 3>Fake batting averages. I hit 401, 415, and 310.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's really good.

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<v Speaker 3>But I didn't do that. I made it up.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, did this kind of lying come easy to you?

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<v Speaker 3>Absolutely not. I was really quite the opposite, kind of

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<v Speaker 3>a Boy Scout. But in that moment, I was so

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<v Speaker 3>desperate not to go home. I was so desperate to

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<v Speaker 3>make this work that I just didn't care. I said, well,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to go for it because I'm out of

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<v Speaker 3>money and I just cannot go home.

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<v Speaker 1>Dan was called back to interview for a batting coach position.

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<v Speaker 1>And perhaps simply because he was American, he was hired

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<v Speaker 1>on the spot. And with that, baseball was back. But

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<v Speaker 1>almost immediately, panic set in. Dan remembers the first time

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<v Speaker 1>he stepped onto the field to watch the team warm up.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh, shit.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, these guys are real. These guys can really play.

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<v Speaker 1>What Dan hadn't known was that La Fortitudo was one

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<v Speaker 1>of the best and oldest teams in the Italian Major League,

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<v Speaker 1>essentially the New York Yankees of Italy. What could Dan,

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<v Speaker 1>a guy who got cut from junior varsity, possibly teach

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<v Speaker 1>the Italian Yankees? Were you in constant fear of being

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<v Speaker 1>found out Constant.

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<v Speaker 6>Constant.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was walking this fine line between being a

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<v Speaker 3>coach and just fading into the background.

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<v Speaker 1>And the fact that you couldn't speak Italian, that didn't

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<v Speaker 1>enter into it?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, it actually worked in my favor. Because if there

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<v Speaker 3>were ever any probing questions that made me nervous... No, no.

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<v Speaker 1>A speaker di Italiano.

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<v Speaker 6>Right. Exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>When I would help with the batting, it was just

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of pantomiming. Dan felt like an imposter. A

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<v Speaker 1>real scaramouche. Until one day, mid-season, when he had a

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<v Speaker 1>chance to step up. Lafortitudo was playing a team from

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<v Speaker 1>Rimini called Ipirati, the Pirates.

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<v Speaker 3>And on the mound walks an American pitcher named Dennis Rasmussen.

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<v Speaker 3>And my jaw hits the floor.

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<v Speaker 1>Rasmussen had been a major league baseball player who'd played

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<v Speaker 1>on the Padres, the Cubs, the Reds, the Royals. And

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<v Speaker 1>for four years on the New York Yankees, Dan used

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<v Speaker 1>to root for him. And now, here Rasmussen was, pitching

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<v Speaker 1>against Lafortitudo, and pitching well.

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<v Speaker 3>No one can hit him. I mean, no one can

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<v Speaker 3>even hit a foul tip. They were winning like 4-0,

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<v Speaker 3>and Dennis was a left-hander. And up comes our hitter

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<v Speaker 3>who was supposed to face him, who was also a left-hander.

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<v Speaker 1>From his many years spent studying and analyzing the game,

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<v Speaker 1>Dan knew that when facing a left-handed pitcher, a right-handed

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<v Speaker 1>batter had a better shot.

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<v Speaker 3>So I went up to the manager and I said,

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<v Speaker 3>let's pinch hit. Let's put in a right-hander. And I

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<v Speaker 3>point to this player named Mamo, Mamo Morselli.

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<v Speaker 1>Mamo was someone the coaches didn't play much. In this

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<v Speaker 1>particular moment, though, Mamo had one qualification that recommended him.

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<v Speaker 1>When it came to pencils, salad forks, and baseball bats,

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<v Speaker 1>Mamo favored his right hand.

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<v Speaker 3>So we put in Mamo. He hits a double and

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<v Speaker 3>drives in a run. I am the happiest I've ever

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<v Speaker 3>been because it's about as close as I could conceivably

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<v Speaker 3>ever get to facing a major league pitcher and getting

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<v Speaker 3>a hit.

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<v Speaker 1>Was that your greatest success as a coach?

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<v Speaker 6>100%.

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<v Speaker 3>100%. That's one of my greatest successes as anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Dan is in his 50s. He's lived a life. He

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<v Speaker 1>knows what success feels like. And yet, nothing has come

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<v Speaker 1>close to that day in 1996 when Mamo hit the double.

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<v Speaker 1>In the movie version of this story, the one in

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<v Speaker 1>which Dan is portrayed by a young Tom Hanks, He

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<v Speaker 1>would redeem his having conned his way onto the Italian

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<v Speaker 1>Yankees by leading them to the Italian World Series, where

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<v Speaker 1>he'd be carried off the field and soaked in whatever

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<v Speaker 1>the Italian version of Gatorade is. A bucket of scalding espresso,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm imagining. But none of that is what happened.

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<v Speaker 3>We lost.

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<v Speaker 6>Regularly lost.

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<v Speaker 1>So regularly, in fact, that that... season, La Fortitudo ended

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<v Speaker 1>up in last place. And in Italy, last place meant

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<v Speaker 1>getting relegated to the minor league. It's like if all

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<v Speaker 1>the Yankees were simultaneously demoted to their farm team, the

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<v Speaker 1>Scranton Wilkes Bar Rail Riders in Musick, Pennsylvania.

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<v Speaker 3>I left them in last place. I was so ashamed

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<v Speaker 3>of myself and have been carrying that shame ever since.

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<v Speaker 1>So for Dan, it's complicated. That year, he wore a

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<v Speaker 1>professional baseball uniform, spent time on the field with real players,

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<v Speaker 1>made game time calls. He realized a dream.

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<v Speaker 3>I have my jersey framed in my living room. I

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<v Speaker 3>follow the team online, and it's still very much alive

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<v Speaker 3>in my head.

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<v Speaker 1>But at the same time, it was all based on

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<v Speaker 1>a lie. And because he lied and was unqualified for

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<v Speaker 1>the job in the first place, Dan wonders, do I

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<v Speaker 1>bear responsibility for the team's failure?

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<v Speaker 3>If I don't, who does? I was dressed up like

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<v Speaker 3>a coach. I was acting like a coach. I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I was the coach. But I was a coach under

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<v Speaker 3>false pretenses.

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<v Speaker 1>Dan is finally ready. after 30 years, to come clean

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<v Speaker 1>to his old teammates. Maybe if Lafortitudo forgives him, he

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<v Speaker 1>can keep the good memories uneclipsed by the shame of

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<v Speaker 1>having lied.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that they deserve to hear the truth. I

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<v Speaker 3>hope it can allay some of the shame I feel.

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<v Speaker 3>I just need to know I did my best to

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<v Speaker 3>put this lie to bed.

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<v Speaker 1>After the break, going to bat for Dan. But before that,

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<v Speaker 1>heads up, some amazing products to help you cover all

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<v Speaker 1>your bases and provide a home run of savings. That

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like I know baseball, right? Did Dan really tank

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<v Speaker 1>the team? As Robert De Niro, as Al Capone in

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<v Speaker 1>The Untouchables said, just before driving a bat through someone's skull,

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<v Speaker 1>baseball is about teamwork. So how much damage, I wonder,

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<v Speaker 1>could one little old fake coach have caused an entire team?

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<v Speaker 1>Since asking his teammates if Dan destroyed their team, with

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<v Speaker 1>Dan on the line, might potentially be awkward, I decide

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<v Speaker 1>to make the initial calls on my own. But no

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<v Speaker 1>sooner do I start thumbing through the Italian white pages

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm confronted by the fact that I neither read

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<v Speaker 1>nor speak Italian. What I'll need is an interpreter.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi. How are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm great.

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<v Speaker 1>And so, Cynthia.

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<v Speaker 6>Cinzia.

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<v Speaker 1>Cinzia. Cinzia, okay. Cinzia lives in Italy.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm based in Mexico City.

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<v Speaker 1>But the main thing is, she's an interpreter. Through talk

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<v Speaker 1>or translating on paper?

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<v Speaker 2>None of them. I'm a masseuse.

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<v Speaker 1>Cinzia is a masseuse. Wait, why is my interpreter a masseuse?

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<v Speaker 1>A masseuse? Yes, I'm a massage therapist.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>But, she says, she has a degree in foreign languages

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<v Speaker 1>and is unofficially translating all the time. Still, this will

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<v Speaker 1>be her first time doing it professionally. Cinzia is willing

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<v Speaker 1>to try new things.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to look at my life like it's a

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<v Speaker 2>big puzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>A big puddle?

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<v Speaker 2>A puzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, a puzzle.

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<v Speaker 6>A big puzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>That's better than a puddle. We begin with a player

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<v Speaker 1>named Roberto Radaglielli, or Rada as he's known. Hello.

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<v Speaker 6>Hello.

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<v Speaker 4>Ciao.

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<v Speaker 6>Come stai?

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<v Speaker 2>Come stai, Roberto?

0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:15.429
<v Speaker 1>Rada was La Fortitudo's pitcher in 1996. When I set

0:14:15.470 --> 0:14:18.570
<v Speaker 1>up the interview, I kept it vague, never bringing up

0:14:18.630 --> 0:14:24.910
<v Speaker 1>Dan's name. I wanted to ask what he remembers about

0:14:25.010 --> 0:14:25.810
<v Speaker 1>the 1996 season. Allora.

0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:35.460
<v Speaker 3>Sinceramente mi ricordo solo purtroppo cose non belle.

0:14:35.900 --> 0:14:39.180
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't remember a lot and what he remembers are

0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:52.200
<v Speaker 2>not really pleasant things. So during that year, he says

0:14:52.260 --> 0:14:57.020
<v Speaker 2>that it was a big disappointment because he was a

0:14:57.060 --> 0:15:01.540
<v Speaker 2>really good player and this loss kind of marked a

0:15:01.580 --> 0:15:07.490
<v Speaker 2>little bit his career. And he says that because of

0:15:07.570 --> 0:15:11.250
<v Speaker 2>this vibe, let's say, that there was in the team,

0:15:11.270 --> 0:15:16.030
<v Speaker 2>he wasn't feeling as he could train in his best way.

0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.860
<v Speaker 1>I can't help wondering if the vibe, short for vibration,

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.710
<v Speaker 1>that kept him from training in his best way was Dan,

0:15:25.170 --> 0:15:28.410
<v Speaker 1>short for Daniel. But when I ask Rada if he

0:15:28.470 --> 0:15:32.870
<v Speaker 1>remembers a batting coach named Dan, Rada says no. Okay,

0:15:32.910 --> 0:15:33.330
<v Speaker 1>thank you.

0:15:33.350 --> 0:15:34.150
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:15:34.650 --> 0:15:37.490
<v Speaker 1>Roberto, thank you, Roberto. It was very, very nice to

0:15:37.530 --> 0:15:39.250
<v Speaker 1>talk to you. Ciao, ciao.

0:15:39.450 --> 0:15:40.410
<v Speaker 2>Ciao, buona serata.

0:15:40.810 --> 0:15:41.810
<v Speaker 6>Great. Very good.

0:15:41.850 --> 0:15:46.250
<v Speaker 1>Very good. Bye. After the call and the awful beating

0:15:46.310 --> 0:15:50.460
<v Speaker 1>my long-distance calling card took from all those goodbyes, Cinzia

0:15:50.590 --> 0:15:51.490
<v Speaker 1>expresses doubts.

0:15:52.100 --> 0:15:55.280
<v Speaker 2>That's actually weird that he doesn't remember. Like, that sounds

0:15:55.300 --> 0:15:56.220
<v Speaker 2>a little bit shady.

0:15:57.220 --> 0:15:58.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh, interesting.

0:15:58.500 --> 0:16:00.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but it just sounds a little bit.

0:16:01.100 --> 0:16:02.060
<v Speaker 7>Okay.

0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:07.660
<v Speaker 1>I respect your suspicion. I like that. Could it be

0:16:07.820 --> 0:16:12.000
<v Speaker 1>that just as the suspicious masseuse suspects, Dan was so

0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:16.710
<v Speaker 1>sus that Rada refuses to remember him? Before getting off

0:16:16.750 --> 0:16:20.090
<v Speaker 1>the phone, Rada passed along the name of another teammate,

0:16:20.530 --> 0:16:28.440
<v Speaker 1>one he thought might remember more, Stefano Landuzzi, or Bidi.

0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.780
<v Speaker 1>Bidi was Lafortitudo's catcher. I make an ill-advised attempt at

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.780
<v Speaker 1>trying to match his joie de vivre. Oh, hello, hello.

0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:43.880
<v Speaker 1>The joie catching in my throat. Where are you? There's

0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:44.900
<v Speaker 1>a feeling of excitement.

0:16:46.950 --> 0:16:48.510
<v Speaker 2>He's at the field, he's at the game.

0:16:48.870 --> 0:16:54.030
<v Speaker 1>Bidi started playing at eight years old in La Fortitudo's

0:16:54.110 --> 0:16:57.550
<v Speaker 1>junior league and then played 18 seasons in the Italian

0:16:57.590 --> 0:17:01.820
<v Speaker 1>major league. He retired in 2010, but still coaches a

0:17:01.940 --> 0:17:04.720
<v Speaker 1>youth league in Bologna. I love baseball.

0:17:07.490 --> 0:17:09.840
<v Speaker 2>It's a sport that gets into your blood.

0:17:10.859 --> 0:17:13.800
<v Speaker 1>A different journalist, the kind that wears a lanyard around

0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.399
<v Speaker 1>his neck, might next ask, what is the proudest moment

0:17:17.500 --> 0:17:22.630
<v Speaker 1>in your legendary 18-year career? But instead, I ask, what

0:17:22.649 --> 0:17:29.810
<v Speaker 1>do you remember about the 1996 season? I ask about

0:17:29.850 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 1>the single most embarrassing year of his professional career. When

0:17:35.100 --> 0:17:38.850
<v Speaker 1>I ask you what you remember about that season, you

0:17:38.909 --> 0:17:42.470
<v Speaker 1>start to laugh. Why is that? That year, it was

0:17:42.649 --> 0:17:45.729
<v Speaker 1>kind of sad because Portitudo was relegated and it didn't

0:17:45.750 --> 0:17:46.309
<v Speaker 1>happen for 30 years.

0:17:46.330 --> 0:17:50.970
<v Speaker 2>From 1966 to 1995, everything was fine. Then came 1996.

0:18:03.449 --> 0:18:06.390
<v Speaker 1>Or, put another way, then came Dan.

0:18:06.409 --> 0:18:12.219
<v Speaker 3>That year for the Fortitudo was like touching rock bottom.

0:18:13.199 --> 0:18:17.020
<v Speaker 1>But Bidi tells me, the Fortitudo came back strong, winning

0:18:17.060 --> 0:18:19.100
<v Speaker 1>the Italian Cup the very next year.

0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:27.150
<v Speaker 2>And Fortitudo what is today, it started in 1997.

0:18:27.149 --> 0:18:32.429
<v Speaker 1>Wow, so it was doing great. Until 1996. 1996, bad year.

0:18:32.730 --> 0:18:35.030
<v Speaker 1>And then 1997, good again.

0:18:35.050 --> 0:18:35.109
<v Speaker 5>Si.

0:18:38.709 --> 0:18:43.730
<v Speaker 1>Dan's year, in fact, was Lafortitudo's single relegation in its

0:18:43.750 --> 0:18:50.019
<v Speaker 1>73-year history. I wonder if you remember a man named Dan.

0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:57.399
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember him at all? Me.

0:18:57.869 --> 0:18:58.129
<v Speaker 5>Dan.

0:18:59.109 --> 0:19:04.789
<v Speaker 2>With Dan, it was the first time for La Fortitudo

0:19:04.810 --> 0:19:06.810
<v Speaker 2>to have a batting coach.

0:19:07.869 --> 0:19:12.289
<v Speaker 1>And then, Bidi explains, after the troubles of 1996, La

0:19:12.310 --> 0:19:16.530
<v Speaker 1>Fortitudo stopped having batting coaches. It would take another three

0:19:16.619 --> 0:19:18.139
<v Speaker 1>years before they tried it again.

0:19:19.820 --> 0:19:20.200
<v Speaker 6>Va bene.

0:19:20.399 --> 0:19:20.679
<v Speaker 1>OK.

0:19:20.780 --> 0:19:21.119
<v Speaker 3>Great.

0:19:21.340 --> 0:19:21.820
<v Speaker 6>OK.

0:19:21.919 --> 0:19:22.439
<v Speaker 4>Ciao, Jonathan.

0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:22.980
<v Speaker 1>OK.

0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:23.450
<v Speaker 4>Ciao.

0:19:23.740 --> 0:19:24.740
<v Speaker 3>Ciao, Jonathan.

0:19:25.020 --> 0:19:25.129
<v Speaker 7>OK.

0:19:25.169 --> 0:19:29.290
<v Speaker 2>Ciao, Jonathan. Va bene, Ste. Ciao.

0:19:29.330 --> 0:19:29.590
<v Speaker 5>OK.

0:19:29.609 --> 0:19:30.030
<v Speaker 7>Bye-bye.

0:19:30.290 --> 0:19:30.689
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

0:19:30.850 --> 0:19:32.689
<v Speaker 1>No, no, that's great. That's great.

0:19:32.970 --> 0:19:33.370
<v Speaker 6>OK.

0:19:33.609 --> 0:19:34.850
<v Speaker 1>OK. Ciao.

0:19:35.050 --> 0:19:36.750
<v Speaker 6>Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Ciao, ciao.

0:19:37.510 --> 0:19:40.150
<v Speaker 1>To the question of how much damage one little old

0:19:40.230 --> 0:19:43.710
<v Speaker 1>fake coach might have caused, it seems, after speaking with

0:19:43.750 --> 0:19:47.290
<v Speaker 1>Beattie and Radha, that the answer might be, a lot?

0:19:48.300 --> 0:19:51.969
<v Speaker 1>I talked to a couple of the baseball guys and

0:19:54.189 --> 0:19:57.959
<v Speaker 1>anytime that year was brought up, it was like, oh boy.

0:19:58.240 --> 0:19:59.059
<v Speaker 3>Does the guilt make a little.

0:19:59.230 --> 0:20:02.850
<v Speaker 1>more sense not only that but beady actually said that

0:20:02.869 --> 0:20:07.070
<v Speaker 1>they were doing great until 1996 and then they did

0:20:07.169 --> 0:20:11.329
<v Speaker 1>great after 1990 did you know that this is what

0:20:11.369 --> 0:20:16.790
<v Speaker 1>i'm saying But there was one player I reached out to,

0:20:17.169 --> 0:20:20.310
<v Speaker 1>who finally, after weeks of back and forth, agreed to

0:20:20.369 --> 0:20:24.050
<v Speaker 1>speak with me. Thank you so much for doing this.

0:20:26.959 --> 0:20:27.549
<v Speaker 2>It's a pleasure.

0:20:28.199 --> 0:20:31.840
<v Speaker 1>Mamo, the right-handed batter Dan put in to pinch hit.

0:20:32.919 --> 0:20:36.399
<v Speaker 1>Mamo is now a 50-year-old cafe owner in Bologna. He

0:20:36.439 --> 0:20:39.639
<v Speaker 1>hasn't played baseball in many years. When I ask him

0:20:39.679 --> 0:20:45.889
<v Speaker 1>about 1996, Mamo makes this sound. Oof. Mamo calls that

0:20:45.949 --> 0:20:49.609
<v Speaker 1>whole year traumatic. The following year, he even took a

0:20:49.649 --> 0:20:52.970
<v Speaker 1>whole season off baseball. But when I bring up Dan,

0:20:53.250 --> 0:20:58.220
<v Speaker 1>Mamo has fond memories. Mamo recalls Dan as young and enthusiastic,

0:20:58.639 --> 0:21:02.400
<v Speaker 1>always on the field, giving advice about batting stance. Does

0:21:02.439 --> 0:21:06.979
<v Speaker 1>he remember there was a game where the pitcher on

0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:11.529
<v Speaker 1>the other team, a guy named Dennis Rasmussen, he was

0:21:11.629 --> 0:21:12.570
<v Speaker 1>on Rimini.

0:21:14.020 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember? I remember.

0:21:16.859 --> 0:21:17.660
<v Speaker 1>He remembers.

0:21:18.139 --> 0:21:18.540
<v Speaker 4>Really?

0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:19.679
<v Speaker 3>I remembered that one.

0:21:27.310 --> 0:21:31.669
<v Speaker 2>I didn't play often, but I do remember that time

0:21:31.730 --> 0:21:37.250
<v Speaker 2>that I hit the ball and I brought home that point, basically. However,

0:21:37.570 --> 0:21:40.149
<v Speaker 2>I don't think we won that game.

0:21:41.109 --> 0:21:45.649
<v Speaker 1>But you do remember that moment 30 years later.

0:21:47.770 --> 0:21:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I remember that specific moment, the adrenaline and the enthusiasm

0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:52.979
<v Speaker 2>of that point.

0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:57.759
<v Speaker 1>Wow. Then, Mamo confesses something about that point that he's

0:21:57.780 --> 0:21:59.900
<v Speaker 1>been holding onto for 30 years.

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:07.319
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was Dan convincing the first coach to

0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:07.959
<v Speaker 2>put me in.

0:22:08.320 --> 0:22:12.639
<v Speaker 1>Really? I thought about that. Dan wants to apologize for

0:22:12.679 --> 0:22:15.799
<v Speaker 1>his lie, and Mamo, because he and Dan share that

0:22:15.840 --> 0:22:18.820
<v Speaker 1>same happy memory, is the right person to receive it.

0:22:19.659 --> 0:22:22.190
<v Speaker 1>It'll be like the gift of the Magi, without any

0:22:22.209 --> 0:22:27.450
<v Speaker 1>of the cruel irony. Bada bing, dare I say, bada boom.

0:22:29.290 --> 0:22:37.019
<v Speaker 3>A few days later, we all get on a video call.

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:40.340
<v Speaker 1>Dan and Mamo catch up, and as a wind-up to

0:22:40.379 --> 0:22:44.459
<v Speaker 1>his confession, Dan brings up Mamo's hit against Ramini, what

0:22:44.500 --> 0:22:46.159
<v Speaker 1>that moment has always meant to him.

0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:47.819
<v Speaker 3>So I want to say thank you.

0:22:49.260 --> 0:22:55.909
<v Speaker 2>He makes me really happy. We should have talked before.

0:22:55.929 --> 0:22:59.590
<v Speaker 2>You've waited too long.

0:23:00.470 --> 0:23:03.549
<v Speaker 3>I didn't have the courage. I thought you would be upset.

0:23:03.570 --> 0:23:07.859
<v Speaker 1>Dan then offers Mamo the reason he thought he'd be upset.

0:23:08.679 --> 0:23:12.139
<v Speaker 3>It is very hard for me, and I am very ashamed.

0:23:12.939 --> 0:23:18.149
<v Speaker 3>When I got the job as the hitting coach... I

0:23:18.230 --> 0:23:24.570
<v Speaker 3>lied about my background. I never played for the Phillies

0:23:24.629 --> 0:23:27.649
<v Speaker 3>in the minor leagues, and I was never a coach.

0:23:28.149 --> 0:23:31.419
<v Speaker 3>I only played two years in high school.

0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:35.440
<v Speaker 1>On screen, Mamo laughs quietly to himself.

0:23:39.770 --> 0:23:43.429
<v Speaker 2>You came for a good experience in Italy, for an adventure,

0:23:43.709 --> 0:23:48.070
<v Speaker 2>even if it didn't end well. What happened is.

0:23:48.310 --> 0:23:48.949
<v Speaker 6>Not your fault.

0:23:50.109 --> 0:23:53.770
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:23:54.050 --> 0:23:56.430
<v Speaker 2>You're not sure, you're not convinced about.

0:23:56.290 --> 0:23:56.770
<v Speaker 6>What I've said?

0:23:56.790 --> 0:24:05.659
<v Speaker 2>I don't really have a way to tell you don't

0:24:05.709 --> 0:24:06.409
<v Speaker 2>worry about it.

0:24:10.959 --> 0:24:13.649
<v Speaker 6>Thank you. Thank you, guys.

0:24:13.980 --> 0:24:14.649
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Mamo.

0:24:14.949 --> 0:24:16.070
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. Thank you, Mamo.

0:24:16.209 --> 0:24:17.149
<v Speaker 2>Ciao, Mamo.

0:24:18.090 --> 0:24:19.050
<v Speaker 5>Ciao.

0:24:19.090 --> 0:24:22.050
<v Speaker 3>Buona serata a tutti. È stato un piacere. Un bacio

0:24:22.070 --> 0:24:22.949
<v Speaker 3>grande a tutti.

0:24:22.990 --> 0:24:24.470
<v Speaker 2>Have a lovely night, everyone.

0:24:24.730 --> 0:24:25.140
<v Speaker 1>Bye.

0:24:25.310 --> 0:24:26.200
<v Speaker 3>Grazie.

0:24:26.399 --> 0:24:28.600
<v Speaker 6>Ciao. Grazie, Cinzia. Prego.

0:24:28.619 --> 0:24:29.820
<v Speaker 2>Ciao, Cinzia. Grazie.

0:24:29.879 --> 0:24:31.220
<v Speaker 1>Ciao, ciao.

0:24:31.300 --> 0:24:32.259
<v Speaker 6>Buon rientro.

0:24:32.980 --> 0:24:36.780
<v Speaker 3>Jonathan, Italians can never finish saying goodbye for some reason.

0:24:36.899 --> 0:24:38.470
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:24:38.500 --> 0:24:38.930
<v Speaker 6>Bye.

0:24:39.050 --> 0:24:40.189
<v Speaker 2>Ciao, ciao, ciao.

0:24:40.209 --> 0:24:40.389
<v Speaker 5>Bye.

0:24:40.409 --> 0:24:40.970
<v Speaker 6>Thank you, Dan.

0:24:41.169 --> 0:24:41.570
<v Speaker 3>Bye.

0:24:41.649 --> 0:24:43.010
<v Speaker 6>Ciao, ciao.

0:24:46.850 --> 0:24:48.490
<v Speaker 3>See, this is what I'm talking about.

0:24:48.590 --> 0:24:49.969
<v Speaker 1>All right, ciao.

0:24:50.010 --> 0:24:50.430
<v Speaker 6>Goodbye.

0:24:52.109 --> 0:24:55.330
<v Speaker 1>After another dozen or so goodbyes, Dan and I finally

0:24:55.379 --> 0:24:58.620
<v Speaker 1>get off the call and talk. While I'm feeling good,

0:24:59.179 --> 0:25:01.939
<v Speaker 1>it quickly becomes apparent that Dan is not.

0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:06.779
<v Speaker 3>The fact that he forgave me, it almost felt too easy.

0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:11.820
<v Speaker 3>I almost don't know what to do with that. There's

0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:14.189
<v Speaker 3>a little dissatisfaction. There is a.

0:25:15.850 --> 0:25:17.050
<v Speaker 3>A little bit of it's still in me.

0:25:18.369 --> 0:25:21.429
<v Speaker 1>Dan sounds less like someone who's found closure than he

0:25:21.470 --> 0:25:24.770
<v Speaker 1>does someone who's found medical cotton in his abdomen after

0:25:24.830 --> 0:25:28.679
<v Speaker 1>a botched surgery. I don't get it. Dan got what

0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:31.440
<v Speaker 1>he wanted. He may not have been the best coach,

0:25:31.740 --> 0:25:34.080
<v Speaker 1>but he did some good, and no one is upset.

0:25:34.720 --> 0:25:37.859
<v Speaker 1>In fact, I checked with Radha and Beattie too, and

0:25:37.879 --> 0:25:40.619
<v Speaker 1>I assured Dan that they'd also said it wasn't his fault.

0:25:41.540 --> 0:25:45.169
<v Speaker 1>So why doesn't he feel better? Why didn't Mamo's forgiveness

0:25:45.290 --> 0:25:46.030
<v Speaker 1>make a difference?

0:25:47.230 --> 0:25:49.510
<v Speaker 3>I think I almost wanted him to get mad at me.

0:25:51.250 --> 0:25:53.169
<v Speaker 1>Maybe if you had spoken to him like a couple

0:25:53.209 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 1>years later when it was fresher when you were younger,

0:25:55.639 --> 0:25:58.820
<v Speaker 1>maybe there would have been that, but like... Yeah, I

0:25:58.840 --> 0:25:59.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know.

0:25:59.220 --> 0:26:01.920
<v Speaker 3>I wanted him to be angry with me.

0:26:03.220 --> 0:26:06.289
<v Speaker 1>If all Dan needs for absolution is someone to be

0:26:06.530 --> 0:26:09.949
<v Speaker 1>angry with him, I could do that. I could yell

0:26:09.990 --> 0:26:12.670
<v Speaker 1>at him over the time I spent phoning multiple Italian

0:26:12.709 --> 0:26:17.949
<v Speaker 1>baseball players, spraying long-distance minutes like an open-fire hydrant. I

0:26:17.990 --> 0:26:20.869
<v Speaker 1>could get into a rather frothy lather over the hours

0:26:20.929 --> 0:26:24.419
<v Speaker 1>spent watching my cousin Vinny with the Italian subtitles, in

0:26:24.439 --> 0:26:28.080
<v Speaker 1>the failed hopes of teaching myself Italian, and then having

0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:32.540
<v Speaker 1>to hire an interpreter-slash-masseuse. I could work myself into a

0:26:32.619 --> 0:26:36.919
<v Speaker 1>good old-fashioned Tizzy Maguire over how, for the past ten minutes,

0:26:37.350 --> 0:26:40.689
<v Speaker 1>I've had my finger anxiously hovering over the play button,

0:26:41.109 --> 0:26:43.990
<v Speaker 1>set to roll the closing theme song to convey feelings

0:26:44.050 --> 0:26:48.619
<v Speaker 1>of bittersweet resolution. But to quote Meatloaf, I would do

0:26:48.859 --> 0:26:58.539
<v Speaker 1>anything for Dan, but I won't do that. Months go by,

0:26:58.679 --> 0:27:02.019
<v Speaker 1>during which my producer Stevie and I continue to puddle

0:27:02.129 --> 0:27:07.279
<v Speaker 1>over why Dan feels dissatisfied. And eventually... we stumble on

0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:11.689
<v Speaker 1>an answer. Although Dan was done with his story, Dan's

0:27:11.730 --> 0:27:34.679
<v Speaker 1>story wasn't done with me. My producer Stevie and I

0:27:34.840 --> 0:27:37.799
<v Speaker 1>returned to the recordings we made and re-listened to all

0:27:37.820 --> 0:27:41.659
<v Speaker 1>the various conversations we had with Dan. It's while going

0:27:41.699 --> 0:27:44.519
<v Speaker 1>through the tape that we find something he expressed that

0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:48.659
<v Speaker 1>seems valuable in retrospect. It's from an early conversation he

0:27:48.879 --> 0:27:52.939
<v Speaker 1>had with Stevie, telling her about his departure from La Fortitudo.

0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:56.119
<v Speaker 1>Towards the end of the season, as the team hovered

0:27:56.159 --> 0:27:58.900
<v Speaker 1>around last place, Dan up and left.

0:27:59.419 --> 0:28:01.610
<v Speaker 3>I just bolted, kind of like I bolted from my parents.

0:28:02.619 --> 0:28:05.780
<v Speaker 1>Kind of like I bolted from my parents. It seems

0:28:05.840 --> 0:28:09.659
<v Speaker 1>that in Dan's mind, his abrupt departure from La Fortitudo

0:28:10.000 --> 0:28:12.520
<v Speaker 1>was the second time he fled a tough situation.

0:28:13.179 --> 0:28:18.219
<v Speaker 3>My parents lost everything. They were going through just hell.

0:28:19.080 --> 0:28:23.010
<v Speaker 3>My grandfather died, and I picked up and left. And

0:28:23.970 --> 0:28:28.110
<v Speaker 3>I think escaping was almost like abandoning them. So when

0:28:28.169 --> 0:28:31.830
<v Speaker 3>I think about the intersection with my parents and Italy...

0:28:32.270 --> 0:28:35.890
<v Speaker 3>I guess there was a bit of a betrayal.

0:28:35.490 --> 0:28:36.030
<v Speaker 6>There, too.

0:28:37.230 --> 0:28:40.050
<v Speaker 1>Things got hard at home, and Dan fled to Italy.

0:28:40.650 --> 0:28:43.570
<v Speaker 1>Things got hard in Italy, and he fled back home.

0:28:44.590 --> 0:28:46.930
<v Speaker 1>I thought the guilt Dan was shouldering was over how

0:28:46.970 --> 0:28:50.809
<v Speaker 1>he'd arrived at La Fortitudo, with all his lies. But

0:28:50.850 --> 0:28:54.120
<v Speaker 1>maybe the guilt really lay in how he departed, with

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:57.739
<v Speaker 1>its echoes of his departure from his family. Sure, a

0:28:57.800 --> 0:29:00.750
<v Speaker 1>baseball team is like a family. But what's also like

0:29:00.790 --> 0:29:04.430
<v Speaker 1>a family, even more like a family, is a family.

0:29:04.450 --> 0:29:08.350
<v Speaker 1>And so, a year after we last spoke, I get

0:29:08.390 --> 0:29:10.930
<v Speaker 1>back in touch with Dan to ask if it's possible

0:29:11.250 --> 0:29:13.890
<v Speaker 1>that the real forgiveness he is looking for is from

0:29:13.910 --> 0:29:14.570
<v Speaker 1>his parents.

0:29:16.850 --> 0:29:22.630
<v Speaker 3>It's very possible. It's very possible. They had no one.

0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:27.320
<v Speaker 3>I was the oldest kid, and I left them alone.

0:29:28.510 --> 0:29:30.569
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if they felt anything negative towards me,

0:29:31.010 --> 0:29:31.719
<v Speaker 3>but I felt it.

0:29:32.630 --> 0:29:34.470
<v Speaker 1>And you've never talked about it with them?

0:29:35.150 --> 0:29:35.290
<v Speaker 6>No.

0:29:35.310 --> 0:29:36.190
<v Speaker 5>Huh?

0:29:36.209 --> 0:29:36.610
<v Speaker 6>I never have.

0:29:38.070 --> 0:29:41.900
<v Speaker 3>It's not something I like to talk about. I mean,

0:29:41.940 --> 0:29:44.719
<v Speaker 3>it's just hard to go back there for me.

0:29:44.740 --> 0:29:45.220
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:29:50.270 --> 0:29:53.229
<v Speaker 1>If Dan wants to absolve himself of his shame, he

0:29:53.270 --> 0:29:56.310
<v Speaker 1>has to sit face-to-face with the two people he feels

0:29:56.350 --> 0:30:01.570
<v Speaker 1>he originally abandoned. Dan didn't just need absolution from Le Fortitudos.

0:30:02.170 --> 0:30:04.630
<v Speaker 1>He also needs it from Le Famiglias.

0:30:10.590 --> 0:30:14.749
<v Speaker 3>It's a scary thought. That's funny, my heart's kind of racing.

0:30:14.810 --> 0:30:17.010
<v Speaker 3>But I don't think it's a bad idea to have

0:30:17.030 --> 0:30:17.830
<v Speaker 3>that conversation.

0:30:18.810 --> 0:30:22.130
<v Speaker 1>So, I pack up my recording kit and head to L.A.

0:30:22.610 --> 0:30:23.600
<v Speaker 1>for an away game.

0:30:33.620 --> 0:30:34.900
<v Speaker 3>Hi, how are you?

0:30:34.980 --> 0:30:36.080
<v Speaker 5>Good, this is Gordon.

0:30:36.800 --> 0:30:39.780
<v Speaker 1>I meet Dan at his home. Together, we pile into

0:30:39.820 --> 0:30:45.259
<v Speaker 1>his car and set off to his parents' house. It's

0:30:45.300 --> 0:30:50.100
<v Speaker 1>about a half-hour drive across town. Wait, this is their place?

0:30:50.660 --> 0:30:51.860
<v Speaker 3>This is their place, not that place.

0:30:51.880 --> 0:30:53.780
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it looks like they got a termite issue next door.

0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:54.269
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I think they do.

0:30:55.400 --> 0:30:57.710
<v Speaker 1>Jesus, yeah, it's like the end of E.T. with that

0:30:57.760 --> 0:31:02.610
<v Speaker 1>big tent over the house. In my own way, I'm

0:31:02.670 --> 0:31:06.150
<v Speaker 1>also like a termite, using the mandible of reason to

0:31:06.190 --> 0:31:10.060
<v Speaker 1>gnaw through the wood of shame. Also like the mighty termite,

0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:13.580
<v Speaker 1>I'm not partial to being in a tent, for camping,

0:31:13.980 --> 0:31:17.600
<v Speaker 1>or for being fumigated. This is Jonathan.

0:31:17.620 --> 0:31:18.019
<v Speaker 2>Oh, hi.

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:20.300
<v Speaker 6>This is Alan. Hi, Alan. Jonathan.

0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:21.620
<v Speaker 1>Nice to meet you.

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:22.300
<v Speaker 6>Nice to meet you.

0:31:22.620 --> 0:31:23.560
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for having me.

0:31:23.880 --> 0:31:24.320
<v Speaker 6>Oh, no problem.

0:31:24.640 --> 0:31:27.440
<v Speaker 1>We follow Debbie and Alan into their living room. They

0:31:27.459 --> 0:31:29.890
<v Speaker 1>sit close together on the couch, and I take levels.

0:31:30.580 --> 0:31:35.209
<v Speaker 1>Please tell me what you had for breakfast. Yogurt. Uh,

0:31:35.270 --> 0:31:35.690
<v Speaker 1>what else?

0:31:36.470 --> 0:31:36.840
<v Speaker 6>That's it.

0:31:38.300 --> 0:31:39.319
<v Speaker 1>And what did you have for breakfast?

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:40.140
<v Speaker 7>I had yogurt.

0:31:41.500 --> 0:31:41.640
<v Speaker 5>Uh-huh.

0:31:42.400 --> 0:31:44.120
<v Speaker 1>What are you planning on having for lunch?

0:31:44.920 --> 0:31:46.900
<v Speaker 7>Let's see, probably more yogurt.

0:31:48.540 --> 0:31:52.040
<v Speaker 1>That's a lot of yogurt. While my curiosity has now

0:31:52.130 --> 0:31:54.969
<v Speaker 1>pivoted to the amount of yogurt this family is eating,

0:31:55.470 --> 0:31:59.009
<v Speaker 1>I quickly pivoted back to the non-yogurt-related reason we're here.

0:32:00.010 --> 0:32:02.249
<v Speaker 1>I tell Dan's parents I want to talk about the

0:32:02.290 --> 0:32:05.070
<v Speaker 1>time before Dan left for Italy, how they came to

0:32:05.110 --> 0:32:09.310
<v Speaker 1>live with Debbie's parents. Well, I think it is complicated.

0:32:09.490 --> 0:32:11.430
<v Speaker 3>Allen was a partner in.

0:32:11.450 --> 0:32:12.459
<v Speaker 7>His own firm.

0:32:12.620 --> 0:32:15.320
<v Speaker 1>Debbie and Allen walk us through a series of misfortunes,

0:32:15.780 --> 0:32:19.820
<v Speaker 1>a company bankruptcy, multiple job losses, salary cuts.

0:32:20.180 --> 0:32:23.850
<v Speaker 7>I mean, we couldn't even pay our property taxes. So,

0:32:24.270 --> 0:32:25.690
<v Speaker 7>you know, I was the one who said, we've got

0:32:25.709 --> 0:32:28.069
<v Speaker 7>to get out of here. You know, we're going to

0:32:28.330 --> 0:32:30.969
<v Speaker 7>end up in debtor's prison if we don't get out

0:32:30.990 --> 0:32:34.470
<v Speaker 7>of here. We have no other choice. So he said, well,

0:32:34.490 --> 0:32:35.770
<v Speaker 7>where are we going to go? I said, we'll go

0:32:35.830 --> 0:32:36.910
<v Speaker 7>moving with my parents.

0:32:38.070 --> 0:32:41.490
<v Speaker 1>Debbie's parents' place was dark and cramped, without enough room

0:32:41.570 --> 0:32:44.830
<v Speaker 1>for all five of Dan's family members. When Dan and

0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:48.100
<v Speaker 1>his siblings were all home, one slept on a fold-away bed,

0:32:48.459 --> 0:32:51.019
<v Speaker 1>another on the long couch, and the other on the

0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:56.100
<v Speaker 1>short couch. They were there for three years. Dan remembers

0:32:56.140 --> 0:32:58.690
<v Speaker 1>his dad being at work all the time, his mom

0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:01.110
<v Speaker 1>sneaking cigarettes and sleeping in the middle of the day.

0:33:02.000 --> 0:33:04.040
<v Speaker 3>I just remember you going through a really, really hard time.

0:33:04.060 --> 0:33:04.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah.

0:33:04.380 --> 0:33:05.140
<v Speaker 6>It was terrible.

0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:08.420
<v Speaker 3>And you guys were fighting a lot. I was watching

0:33:08.480 --> 0:33:12.610
<v Speaker 3>you guys fall apart for quite a while. And then

0:33:12.670 --> 0:33:16.050
<v Speaker 3>when Grandpa had the stroke, right there in his room,

0:33:16.070 --> 0:33:21.290
<v Speaker 3>and that was that horrible, what is it, a week-long experience?

0:33:21.530 --> 0:33:22.990
<v Speaker 3>Something like that before he passed away?

0:33:23.010 --> 0:33:23.420
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:33:24.260 --> 0:33:27.520
<v Speaker 3>And then I left for Italy shortly thereafter.

0:33:27.540 --> 0:33:31.290
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. For the first time, Dan begins telling his parents

0:33:31.390 --> 0:33:33.490
<v Speaker 1>how he feels about having made that decision.

0:33:34.030 --> 0:33:35.729
<v Speaker 3>What I've been holding on to is I feel like

0:33:35.790 --> 0:33:39.100
<v Speaker 3>I abandoned you. You didn't have anyone to talk to, Dad.

0:33:39.800 --> 0:33:44.460
<v Speaker 3>And I was the only other adult. And I felt

0:33:44.500 --> 0:33:46.920
<v Speaker 3>like I ditched you and just left you hanging.

0:33:47.620 --> 0:33:47.840
<v Speaker 6>No.

0:33:48.780 --> 0:33:50.130
<v Speaker 1>Dan's parents interrupt him.

0:33:50.750 --> 0:33:52.130
<v Speaker 7>I was thrilled that you went.

0:33:52.450 --> 0:33:54.989
<v Speaker 6>No, we were happy for you. We were proud of

0:33:55.030 --> 0:33:56.070
<v Speaker 6>you and happy for you.

0:33:56.950 --> 0:33:59.590
<v Speaker 1>They try to console him. But just like with Mamo,

0:33:59.910 --> 0:34:03.749
<v Speaker 1>just like with me, Dan can't take it in. Forgiveness

0:34:03.830 --> 0:34:04.680
<v Speaker 1>feels too easy.

0:34:05.620 --> 0:34:07.959
<v Speaker 3>Even at the time I left, I thought, what have

0:34:08.000 --> 0:34:08.500
<v Speaker 3>I done?

0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:14.340
<v Speaker 4>But Dan, seeing you go off to Italy made me

0:34:14.660 --> 0:34:15.980
<v Speaker 4>feel happy for you.

0:34:16.020 --> 0:34:17.500
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I knew you wanted to go.

0:34:17.520 --> 0:34:20.980
<v Speaker 3>I don't think I did the right thing when I

0:34:21.020 --> 0:34:21.660
<v Speaker 3>left for Italy.

0:34:23.200 --> 0:34:25.600
<v Speaker 1>But Debbie and Alan, in a way that perhaps only

0:34:25.640 --> 0:34:27.840
<v Speaker 1>parents can, keep pushing back.

0:34:28.420 --> 0:34:32.540
<v Speaker 6>Oh, yes, you did. You did the right thing. For

0:34:32.580 --> 0:34:34.120
<v Speaker 6>yourself and for us.

0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:38.220
<v Speaker 1>Dan always knew he was doing it for himself. But

0:34:38.260 --> 0:34:38.680
<v Speaker 1>for us?

0:34:39.420 --> 0:34:40.440
<v Speaker 3>How did I do it for you?

0:34:40.820 --> 0:34:44.259
<v Speaker 7>Because if you had stayed to support us, that would

0:34:44.300 --> 0:34:45.060
<v Speaker 7>devastate me.

0:34:45.700 --> 0:34:48.120
<v Speaker 4>That's what parents want for their kids, is to see

0:34:48.140 --> 0:34:50.930
<v Speaker 4>their kids make their own lives in a good way.

0:34:52.030 --> 0:34:57.080
<v Speaker 4>Not to have them hanging around, dependent on being caregivers. God,

0:34:57.140 --> 0:34:58.400
<v Speaker 4>that's the last thing I want.

0:34:59.820 --> 0:35:02.240
<v Speaker 1>What Debbie and Alan are trying to tell Dan is

0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:05.260
<v Speaker 1>that even though Dan saw himself as the only other adult,

0:35:05.840 --> 0:35:09.750
<v Speaker 1>he wasn't. He was their child. I can see Dan

0:35:09.870 --> 0:35:11.070
<v Speaker 1>finally starting to bend.

0:35:11.910 --> 0:35:14.890
<v Speaker 3>I do, from your perspective, I see it and I

0:35:15.090 --> 0:35:18.430
<v Speaker 3>remember the joy you had when I'd call you. And

0:35:18.450 --> 0:35:20.570
<v Speaker 3>that's kind of coming up. I remember that.

0:35:21.590 --> 0:35:24.500
<v Speaker 1>Since he didn't have a phone in his apartment... Dan

0:35:24.520 --> 0:35:27.570
<v Speaker 1>would call home from the payphone outside the baseball stadium.

0:35:28.230 --> 0:35:30.890
<v Speaker 1>He usually phoned at night when he was alone, the

0:35:30.910 --> 0:35:35.310
<v Speaker 1>streets empty and dark. Back in California, Debbie and Alan

0:35:35.330 --> 0:35:39.700
<v Speaker 1>received Dan's calls in the grandparents' kitchen. Sometimes they huddled

0:35:39.730 --> 0:35:42.720
<v Speaker 1>together by the receiver. Sometimes one of them took the

0:35:42.780 --> 0:35:47.080
<v Speaker 1>extension in the bedroom. They listened to Dan's stories about

0:35:47.100 --> 0:35:50.020
<v Speaker 1>his new teammates, the trips they all made to the beach,

0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:53.020
<v Speaker 1>how he talked baseball with them all day long in

0:35:53.060 --> 0:35:54.080
<v Speaker 1>his broken Italian.

0:35:54.670 --> 0:35:58.150
<v Speaker 4>And I thought, wow, because I had my own wonderful

0:35:58.210 --> 0:36:01.170
<v Speaker 4>memories of my time serving in Europe, two years in

0:36:01.210 --> 0:36:05.210
<v Speaker 4>the army in France. And I thought, wow, he's going

0:36:05.230 --> 0:36:07.890
<v Speaker 4>to have a taste of another life in another land,

0:36:07.910 --> 0:36:10.180
<v Speaker 4>doing something that he loves.

0:36:11.880 --> 0:36:14.040
<v Speaker 3>And maybe, I mean, actually, as long as I'm thinking

0:36:14.060 --> 0:36:17.680
<v Speaker 3>of it, maybe that was what I gave you. Maybe

0:36:17.700 --> 0:36:18.080
<v Speaker 3>that was the.

0:36:18.060 --> 0:36:21.259
<v Speaker 1>Support I gave you. The kind of support a 22-year-old

0:36:21.300 --> 0:36:26.340
<v Speaker 1>should give having a great adventure, and allowing his parents

0:36:26.460 --> 0:36:27.900
<v Speaker 1>to share in his delight.

0:36:28.520 --> 0:36:29.560
<v Speaker 6>Oh, absolutely.

0:36:29.640 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 7>Oh, sure.

0:36:30.080 --> 0:36:32.880
<v Speaker 6>We felt it. Are you kidding? We felt it.

0:36:33.920 --> 0:36:35.380
<v Speaker 3>Do you remember when I called you to say I

0:36:35.420 --> 0:36:37.630
<v Speaker 3>got this job with the team?

0:36:38.230 --> 0:36:39.550
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I remember that.

0:36:40.250 --> 0:36:43.030
<v Speaker 1>How did he sound? Did he sound excited? Excited, yeah.

0:36:43.310 --> 0:36:45.270
<v Speaker 6>When I heard it, I remember I was excited.

0:36:45.690 --> 0:36:46.090
<v Speaker 4>Oh, really?

0:36:46.110 --> 0:36:46.970
<v Speaker 1>You're a baseball fan?

0:36:47.410 --> 0:36:58.420
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm a fan of my son. Do you feel better?

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:00.820
<v Speaker 3>I do feel a little bit better, actually.

0:37:00.840 --> 0:37:01.360
<v Speaker 6>Good.

0:37:01.380 --> 0:37:03.120
<v Speaker 7>You shouldn't feel bad at all.

0:37:03.220 --> 0:37:03.800
<v Speaker 6>No.

0:37:04.180 --> 0:37:06.520
<v Speaker 7>I'm glad you went to Italy because it's a great

0:37:06.580 --> 0:37:07.259
<v Speaker 7>place to go.

0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:08.480
<v Speaker 6>I'm glad you came back.

0:37:16.590 --> 0:37:17.990
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so what do I do here?

0:37:18.010 --> 0:37:19.110
<v Speaker 3>So you'll need two hands.

0:37:19.290 --> 0:37:22.330
<v Speaker 1>Okay. After leaving his parents, Dan and I head back

0:37:22.370 --> 0:37:26.100
<v Speaker 1>to his place, where, in his living room, Dan hands

0:37:26.140 --> 0:37:26.370
<v Speaker 1>me a bat.

0:37:27.150 --> 0:37:28.470
<v Speaker 3>So what you're going to do is you're going to

0:37:28.670 --> 0:37:33.030
<v Speaker 3>hold the bat real gently. Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart.

0:37:33.730 --> 0:37:38.240
<v Speaker 1>From where I stand, legs shoulder-width apart, Dan is a

0:37:38.260 --> 0:37:38.820
<v Speaker 1>good coach.

0:37:39.160 --> 0:37:41.160
<v Speaker 3>And now just twist your hips.

0:37:41.840 --> 0:37:42.120
<v Speaker 4>Boom.

0:37:42.320 --> 0:37:42.740
<v Speaker 5>See that?

0:37:43.760 --> 0:37:45.580
<v Speaker 3>I've heard my this.

0:37:45.410 --> 0:37:46.370
<v Speaker 1>Foot, my right foot.

0:37:46.570 --> 0:37:47.410
<v Speaker 3>Yes, your right foot.

0:37:47.430 --> 0:37:48.790
<v Speaker 4>That's a swing.

0:37:48.890 --> 0:37:50.730
<v Speaker 1>That's the baseball swing.

0:38:25.930 --> 0:38:35.750
<v Speaker 5>Now that the last month's rent is scheming with the

0:38:35.910 --> 0:38:42.780
<v Speaker 5>damage deposit, take this moment to decide if we meant.

0:38:42.260 --> 0:38:43.160
<v Speaker 6>It, if we tried.

0:38:58.050 --> 0:39:00.870
<v Speaker 1>This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Stevie Lane and me,

0:39:01.150 --> 0:39:01.980
<v Speaker 1>Jonathan Goldstein.

0:39:02.160 --> 0:39:03.160
<v Speaker 6>God, is that, really?

0:39:03.220 --> 0:39:05.860
<v Speaker 1>Is that what I always say? Yeah.

0:39:06.740 --> 0:39:07.420
<v Speaker 6>Okay, no, no, no.

0:39:07.480 --> 0:39:09.920
<v Speaker 1>It's just that I'm losing my mind, I think. That's all.

0:39:10.500 --> 0:39:10.820
<v Speaker 5>All right.

0:39:11.520 --> 0:39:14.670
<v Speaker 1>This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Stevie Lane and me,

0:39:14.890 --> 0:39:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Jonathan Goldstein, along with Lisa Wang. Our senior producer is

0:39:18.960 --> 0:39:23.330
<v Speaker 1>Kalila Holt. Editorial guidance from Emily Condon. Special thanks to

0:39:23.390 --> 0:39:28.410
<v Speaker 1>Phoebe Flanagan, Ben Natif-Haffrey, Nadia Raymond, Luke Malone, and Jackie Cohen.

0:39:28.890 --> 0:39:32.210
<v Speaker 1>Emma Munger mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows,

0:39:32.350 --> 0:39:36.460
<v Speaker 1>John K. Sampson, Emma Munger, and Bobby Lord. Additional scoring

0:39:36.500 --> 0:39:44.850
<v Speaker 1>by Blue Dot Sessions, Boxwood Orchestra, Bubble, Thank you. Follow

0:39:44.910 --> 0:39:48.730
<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at heavyweightpodcast and subscribe to our free

0:39:48.850 --> 0:39:54.270
<v Speaker 1>newsletter at patreon.com slash heavyweight. We're always on the lookout

0:39:54.310 --> 0:39:57.610
<v Speaker 1>for new stories, so if you have one, a heavyweight

0:39:57.630 --> 0:40:02.460
<v Speaker 1>of your own, send us an email at heavyweight at pushkin.fm.

0:40:02.940 --> 0:40:07.200
<v Speaker 1>We'll be back next week with a new episode. I

0:40:07.220 --> 0:40:07.940
<v Speaker 1>should see a doctor.

0:40:07.960 --> 0:40:09.760
<v Speaker 6>I should see a doctor.