WEBVTT - School In The Future 0:00:00.270 --> 0:00:02.390 One of the greatest decisions you'll ever make as a 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:05.600 parent is where you send your children to school. 0:00:06.540 --> 0:00:09.920 I think that is an absolute fact, deadass. And I 0:00:09.980 --> 0:00:12.730 think we need to stop asking the question, is this 0:00:12.789 --> 0:00:16.010 a good school, but is this a good school and 0:00:16.030 --> 0:00:17.690 a good fit for my child? 0:00:19.170 --> 0:00:19.590 Deadass. 0:00:22.220 --> 0:00:25.240 It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest, and straight 0:00:25.260 --> 0:00:27.320 from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become 0:00:27.340 --> 0:00:30.660 Webby Award winning podcasters and New York Times bestselling authors. 0:00:30.820 --> 0:00:33.490 Deadass was more than a podcast for us. It was 0:00:33.610 --> 0:00:36.210 about our growth. A place where we could be vulnerable, 0:00:36.390 --> 0:00:36.950 be raw. 0:00:37.409 --> 0:00:39.510 But most importantly, be us. 0:00:39.670 --> 0:00:42.650 But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we. 0:00:42.750 --> 0:00:46.380 And through it all, one thing has never changed. This 0:00:46.740 --> 0:00:47.779 is Ellis Ever After. 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:48.699 Deadass. 0:00:48.979 --> 0:00:50.660 Because we got a lot to talk about. 0:00:52.140 --> 0:00:52.740 Story time. 0:00:53.900 --> 0:00:57.820 So I'm actually going to tell you about something I'm 0:00:57.860 --> 0:00:58.860 dealing with right now. 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:03.490 And that's competition. All right. 0:01:03.810 --> 0:01:10.510 I'm a dad that believes that competition is how you 0:01:11.270 --> 0:01:14.030 treat young people or teach young people how to become 0:01:14.970 --> 0:01:17.240 adult people, for lack of a better word. 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:19.340 Doesn't matter if it's a male or a female. How 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:19.800 to compete. 0:01:20.220 --> 0:01:22.310 The reason why I say competition is used that way 0:01:22.330 --> 0:01:25.050 is because sports can be a metaphor for so many different. 0:01:24.770 --> 0:01:25.350 Things in life. 0:01:26.330 --> 0:01:29.610 And not that your child has to grow up to 0:01:29.650 --> 0:01:33.170 be a Division I, II, III athlete or a professional athlete. 0:01:33.590 --> 0:01:35.390 It's just learning how to compete, learning how to win, 0:01:35.410 --> 0:01:37.860 learning how to lose, learning how to practice, learning teamwork, 0:01:38.230 --> 0:01:39.690 learning how to communicate. 0:01:39.220 --> 0:01:41.140 With leaders and other people. Discipline. 0:01:41.180 --> 0:01:44.319 Those are all things you learn in a competitive environment. 0:01:46.020 --> 0:01:51.150 We moved our kids from one school to another. because 0:01:51.210 --> 0:01:54.870 of competitive environment. You know, we felt like they were 0:01:54.890 --> 0:01:58.350 lacking that. At one point, I was coaching. And, you know, 0:01:58.870 --> 0:02:00.770 because I like to compete and like to win, I 0:02:00.830 --> 0:02:03.870 guess I was a little bit too assertive with some 0:02:03.950 --> 0:02:06.710 of the practice schedules and things that we were planning 0:02:06.750 --> 0:02:08.830 to do. And some of the parents were just like, 0:02:08.889 --> 0:02:10.060 I don't know if this is going to be good 0:02:10.090 --> 0:02:12.030 for my son. So I and the other coaches will 0:02:12.060 --> 0:02:14.780 let go. And I was like, cool, I'm not for everybody. 0:02:14.820 --> 0:02:17.739 And every coach or every plan isn't for everybody. So 0:02:17.860 --> 0:02:20.130 not only did I not coach no more, but We 0:02:20.180 --> 0:02:22.840 moved our sons to a different school and we found 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.200 out that it was the same thing in a new school. 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:29.900 And I'm starting to realize that school isn't the place 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:33.560 for you to decide whether or not your child is 0:02:33.580 --> 0:02:36.120 going to be competitive because it doesn't matter where you are, 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:38.800 what school you go to. If you have personal ideas 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:40.480 that you want to put for your kids, that's your 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:45.340 responsibility as a parent. And Kadeen and I have four 0:02:45.380 --> 0:02:49.160 children ranging from the ages of 15 all the way 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.650 to four. And I can tell you right now, we 0:02:52.690 --> 0:02:56.180 do more parenting to supplement what goes on in the 0:02:56.220 --> 0:03:00.160 schools than I think our parents ever did when we 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:00.959 were going to school. 0:03:03.020 --> 0:03:05.940 Absolutely. Karaoke. 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:08.579 This is one of my favorite songs of all time, 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:11.750 mainly because of the message, but also because of the chorus. 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:14.440 I know I can. 0:03:14.460 --> 0:03:15.600 I know I can. 0:03:15.620 --> 0:03:16.780 Be what I want to be. 0:03:16.860 --> 0:03:17.900 Be what I want to be. 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:19.180 If I work hard at it. 0:03:19.300 --> 0:03:20.320 If I work hard at it. 0:03:20.419 --> 0:03:21.480 I'll be where I want to be. 0:03:21.660 --> 0:03:22.500 I'll be where I. 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:23.200 Want to be. 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:24.480 La, la, la. 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:25.739 La, la, la, la, la. 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.160 La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. 0:03:28.590 --> 0:03:29.470 Shout out to Nas. 0:03:29.530 --> 0:03:30.380 Shout out to Nas. 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:33.190 That song stands the test of time, clearly. 0:03:33.389 --> 0:03:35.110 Yes, when I was in Prototype, that was a song 0:03:35.150 --> 0:03:36.810 I put on a lot of highlight tapes. I put 0:03:36.850 --> 0:03:39.490 on a lot of videos because it was just about determination. 0:03:39.510 --> 0:03:41.560 It was about will. And it was just about the 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.440 power of the mind. I know I can. 0:03:43.530 --> 0:03:43.850 Right. 0:03:44.190 --> 0:03:44.830 I know I can. 0:03:44.930 --> 0:03:46.270 And part of the reason why I wanted to sing 0:03:46.310 --> 0:03:49.050 that song is because I think that's the biggest issue 0:03:49.070 --> 0:03:50.510 that we're dealing. 0:03:50.250 --> 0:03:53.270 With as parents. I've always been an overachiever. 0:03:53.850 --> 0:03:54.110 Always. 0:03:54.170 --> 0:03:57.360 You've always been an overachiever. And we're raising a house 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:01.120 full of overachievers. And I'm realizing that us wanting to 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.460 overachieve is starting to make people uncomfortable. 0:04:03.700 --> 0:04:04.060 Oh, yeah. 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:05.120 Yeah. 0:04:05.380 --> 0:04:07.300 Mediocrity is not accepted in this house. 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:08.260 Not at all. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:09.220 It's just the standard, man. 0:04:10.380 --> 0:04:15.100 Who's making it uncomfortable? Who y'all making it uncomfortable? That's 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:15.960 not like a personal problem. 0:04:17.860 --> 0:04:19.900 If I tell you the conversations, if I tell you 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.260 the conversations that I've had, and matter of fact, I'll 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:22.779 go into it. 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:24.610 I'll go into it. We can talk about it. I'll 0:04:24.620 --> 0:04:26.110 be the villain. 0:04:28.450 --> 0:04:29.970 I'll be the villain, man. If I'm the villain in 0:04:29.990 --> 0:04:31.950 your life story, it is what it is. But we're 0:04:31.970 --> 0:04:32.729 going to take a quick break. 0:04:32.750 --> 0:04:34.470 I'm going to come back and I'm going to explain 0:04:34.490 --> 0:04:35.450 to you exactly. 0:04:35.070 --> 0:04:35.440 What it is. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:37.180 Well, we're going to do Op or No Op first, 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:38.460 and then we'll get into the meat of the show. 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:39.640 Don't be jumping around, all right? 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:40.040 My bad, my bad. 0:04:40.060 --> 0:04:41.940 Don't be hopscotching all over the front of the show. 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:42.520 My bad. 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:47.260 We'll be back. All right, we're back. Time for Op 0:04:47.300 --> 0:04:50.620 or No Op. Tribble. I never get it right. 0:04:51.460 --> 0:04:51.739 Tribble. 0:04:52.100 --> 0:04:52.560 What we got? 0:04:53.850 --> 0:04:54.260 Okay. 0:04:54.810 --> 0:04:58.430 I think I was telling y'all a while ago about how. 0:05:00.430 --> 0:05:04.590 Israel was able to blow some people up using their phones. 0:05:04.610 --> 0:05:05.270 Did I tell y'all this? 0:05:06.020 --> 0:05:09.590 No I don't think so yeah so I don't remember 0:05:09.610 --> 0:05:17.910 the in 1995 a company Israel made this phone chip 0:05:18.670 --> 0:05:20.190 they gave it to a guy he gave it to 0:05:20.230 --> 0:05:22.980 his nephew his nephew was gonna be near a guy 0:05:23.060 --> 0:05:28.140 that they suspected of certain things I don't know and. 0:05:28.060 --> 0:05:29.960 They told the guy they gave the phone to they 0:05:29.980 --> 0:05:31.920 were like we're gonna use it just to listen to 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.240 his conversation so that we can then take action so 0:05:34.260 --> 0:05:37.330 he's like alright fine So his nephew gets near the 0:05:37.370 --> 0:05:44.970 guy and Israel sees that he's near him. And what 0:05:45.010 --> 0:05:47.570 they didn't tell him is that the chip in the 0:05:47.630 --> 0:05:49.760 phone had RDX. 0:05:49.460 --> 0:05:53.099 Explosives in it. They detonated it and they blew it. 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.400 When was this? 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:55.859 1995. 0:05:55.860 --> 0:05:57.620 Oh, wow. That's 30 years ago. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:58.700 That's 30 years ago. 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.380 Yeah, this was like, it could have been, I guess 0:06:01.420 --> 0:06:02.919 it was a cell phone. It could have been a pager. 0:06:02.940 --> 0:06:04.350 Yeah. 0:06:05.190 --> 0:06:08.890 So now there's a concern because the United States is 0:06:08.950 --> 0:06:12.750 about to start equipping cell phones with chips that are 0:06:12.830 --> 0:06:17.589 made by an Israeli company. So there's this creator who 0:06:17.630 --> 0:06:20.450 was saying, we got to be very concerned about this 0:06:20.510 --> 0:06:26.380 because we're already concerned about surveillance. And things that the 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.160 government are doing is. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.560 Getting a little bit out of hand. You guys seen 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.000 the taser gloves? 0:06:32.020 --> 0:06:32.089 Yes. 0:06:32.850 --> 0:06:34.589 No, I didn't see the taser glove neither. 0:06:34.810 --> 0:06:36.270 Oh my God. Somebody died. 0:06:36.930 --> 0:06:38.830 So people were saying, oh, this is a safe way 0:06:39.029 --> 0:06:42.610 to apprehend. And they're using it for ICE. This isn't 0:06:42.650 --> 0:06:45.750 even for criminals. This is for immigrants. They're using it 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:49.900 for ICE. Their gloves, they look like black rubber gloves. 0:06:50.460 --> 0:06:51.880 They look like just regular gloves. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:53.020 But they have an electric charge. 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:55.560 When you touch somebody, they tase you. 0:06:55.779 --> 0:06:56.560 That's crazy. 0:06:56.620 --> 0:06:59.330 And they just killed somebody. They used it for over 0:06:59.330 --> 0:07:02.150 99 seconds on a man and he died. 0:07:02.170 --> 0:07:02.730 Wow. 0:07:02.790 --> 0:07:04.870 People are saying, you know, defending it because they're saying 0:07:04.890 --> 0:07:07.870 you can't die. But actually people have died from taser guns. 0:07:07.910 --> 0:07:11.500 So of course you could die from the gloves. So anyway, 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.360 I bring out op on whether or not you think 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.480 the government will try to explode us with these phones. 0:07:19.550 --> 0:07:21.610 I mean, do we have... I'm putting that in the past. 0:07:21.630 --> 0:07:24.610 That's what I'm saying. Like, this actually doesn't surprise me. 0:07:24.650 --> 0:07:25.730 Right. It's just like. 0:07:25.950 --> 0:07:26.690 Considering the fact. 0:07:26.710 --> 0:07:27.970 One more thing to add to it. 0:07:28.050 --> 0:07:28.590 Pile on. 0:07:29.210 --> 0:07:31.300 I'm just saying, considering the fact that we just found 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:33.960 out that, I think it was Fauci took the Fifth 0:07:34.020 --> 0:07:37.560 Amendment for like, it was like 140 consecutive Fifth Amendment 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:39.640 something because he wouldn't speak about COVID. 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:40.140 COVID, yeah. 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:41.460 And the vaccine. 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:44.620 And it's like, at this point, do we really think 0:07:44.660 --> 0:07:47.230 that they care enough about us to not try to 0:07:47.250 --> 0:07:50.410 kill us? They don't want to save us. So, I mean, 0:07:51.170 --> 0:07:54.070 I think we are... One of my favorite movies is 0:07:54.150 --> 0:07:57.570 Enemy of the State. We've been talking about this for 0:07:57.570 --> 0:07:58.610 30 years. It's just happening. 0:07:59.390 --> 0:08:01.750 And I feel like, yeah, we should be concerned, but 0:08:01.770 --> 0:08:03.230 we should have been concerned before this. 0:08:03.270 --> 0:08:05.500 We should have been concerned years ago. And I do 0:08:05.510 --> 0:08:07.080 honestly think that we're going to get back to a. 0:08:07.060 --> 0:08:09.160 Flip phone era. I think people are going to stop 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:10.520 trusting this and these devices. 0:08:10.580 --> 0:08:12.280 I mean, we were talking about even in our house, 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:16.020 all of these smartphones and these smart TVs... And these 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.530 smart devices have cameras so they can watch and listen 0:08:18.550 --> 0:08:20.250 to everything that we say. So I think it's going 0:08:20.270 --> 0:08:21.190 to come to a point where people are going to 0:08:21.210 --> 0:08:24.000 be like, you know what, I'm over it. So, yeah, 0:08:24.060 --> 0:08:25.920 I do think that they're capable and possible of that. 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.540 Going back to the turn dial TV. Do you remember 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.020 having to get up and turn the dial? 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:31.120 Nah, we ain't doing that. 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:31.940 We're not doing that. 0:08:32.020 --> 0:08:33.640 If I gotta get up to change the channel, we 0:08:33.660 --> 0:08:34.420 gonna have a problem. 0:08:34.450 --> 0:08:36.850 How you wanna change the episode on Netflix? 0:08:37.260 --> 0:08:40.770 I had one of those in my bedroom, y'all. And 0:08:40.790 --> 0:08:42.670 it had the antenna that you had to pull up. 0:08:43.070 --> 0:08:44.930 And I used to have to like turn the antenna 0:08:44.950 --> 0:08:45.429 different ways. 0:08:45.450 --> 0:08:46.690 Oh, you was rich. Yo, we old. 0:08:46.710 --> 0:08:47.650 I had a hanger. 0:08:48.510 --> 0:08:51.510 Oh my God, rich? You used to have to shut 0:08:51.530 --> 0:08:52.189 your TV a box? 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:55.939 Why you not working, man? 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:57.040 Oh, there it go. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:57.520 There it go. 0:08:57.520 --> 0:08:58.160 It be snowing. 0:08:58.200 --> 0:08:59.300 It be snowing on your channel. 0:09:00.470 --> 0:09:03.070 Any time I tried to get channel 13 because that 0:09:03.090 --> 0:09:04.190 was kind of like an off channel. 0:09:04.350 --> 0:09:06.069 The regular channels were fine, but I used to like 0:09:06.110 --> 0:09:08.530 to watch PBS as a kid. 0:09:08.590 --> 0:09:10.650 You such a nerd. Who says that? I was trying 0:09:10.670 --> 0:09:12.570 to get to 13, man. I wanted to watch Roots again. 0:09:12.590 --> 0:09:13.590 No kid ever, bro. 0:09:13.630 --> 0:09:14.390 Reading Rainbow. Lamb Chop. 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.480 Lamb chop play on none of y'all. 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:25.740 Watch lamb chop channels two seven nine eleven thirteen sometimes 0:09:25.780 --> 0:09:26.280 thirty one. 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:31.580 Here's the video music box too sometimes. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.100 Video music box. 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:34.240 Was a jam that was. 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:36.900 We didn't even tv was a privilege to us you 0:09:36.940 --> 0:09:39.300 had to go outside my grandmother used to say to 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:40.920 me you're not gonna be inside watching this tv all 0:09:40.940 --> 0:09:44.240 day this idiot box Just go outside. And I see 0:09:44.260 --> 0:09:46.140 myself saying the same thing to them. Get off them iPads. 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:47.920 I ain't going to be watching that idiot thing. Oh, 0:09:47.940 --> 0:09:48.540 my God. 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:49.819 You know what's funny? 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:53.630 You say go outside. I was watching a video from 0:09:53.910 --> 0:09:58.170 a pediatrician and she said that children nowadays lack common 0:09:58.230 --> 0:10:01.750 sense and they lack compassion. sense because they are not 0:10:01.870 --> 0:10:06.860 outside enough. Children are supposed to be outside in their environments, 0:10:07.100 --> 0:10:11.160 daily discovering different things, looking and using their five senses 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:12.320 around to see what's. 0:10:12.140 --> 0:10:14.040 Around them to absorb and be aware. 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:16.640 Kids are not aware. Kids have no common sense. And 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.880 it's all because a lot of that they're inside on devices. 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.059 I don't blame them because adults don't got none either. 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:24.520 You watched that video with. 0:10:24.420 --> 0:10:29.040 That lady chasing that car. You remember that? 0:10:29.059 --> 0:10:29.780 That was crazy. 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.040 Common sense ain't so common. 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.160 The video was like two and a half minutes long. 0:10:34.179 --> 0:10:36.710 And I'm like, at some point, like, oh, and then 0:10:36.750 --> 0:10:37.160 who was it? 0:10:37.170 --> 0:10:40.030 Was it Tribble? It wasn't Tribble or was it Tiff? 0:10:40.650 --> 0:10:41.830 That was just like, man, she was trying to get 0:10:41.850 --> 0:10:43.930 that insurance money. She wasn't trying to save that car. 0:10:43.950 --> 0:10:45.530 She was trying to make it look like she. 0:10:45.460 --> 0:10:49.460 Was saving it. That's believable though. She's like, record this. 0:10:49.500 --> 0:10:52.300 She did an interview. So what happened was she, a 0:10:53.190 --> 0:10:55.309 squirrel was in her car. And she was scared to 0:10:55.350 --> 0:10:57.890 get back in the car because the squirrel was there. 0:10:57.910 --> 0:11:00.179 She was terrified of it. Oh. 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:00.820 Okay. 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:02.900 I mean, now it's how crazy she looks. She said 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.000 her friends sent it to her. All girls, like, sent 0:11:05.020 --> 0:11:05.719 it to her and all that. 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:06.500 I get it, though. 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:06.900 Crazy. 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.860 I get it, though. Like, if a squirrel's in your car, right? 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:10.520 That's crazy. 0:11:10.540 --> 0:11:11.340 She jumped out. 0:11:11.540 --> 0:11:14.320 That's a rat. That's a rat with a fuzzy tail. Hell, 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:14.980 thank you. 0:11:15.140 --> 0:11:15.719 Thank you. 0:11:15.820 --> 0:11:17.600 I've been missing it for a year. 0:11:17.620 --> 0:11:21.089 Absolutely. But in my mind, right, because I don't think 0:11:21.170 --> 0:11:24.620 I lack common sense. Squirrels are scared of All right, 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.250 like squirrels are absolutely terrified of me. Until they're trapped 0:11:28.290 --> 0:11:30.630 in a car with you. No, but she had the 0:11:30.670 --> 0:11:35.440 door open. but the squirrel didn't come out you get. 0:11:35.380 --> 0:11:37.040 Back in the car and the squirrel think you coming 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.819 back to attack it now you and the squirrel in 0:11:39.860 --> 0:11:41.830 the ocean where did the car. 0:11:41.610 --> 0:11:45.110 Fall off of I don't know the interpad or freeway 0:11:45.190 --> 0:11:47.190 I don't know that car went away. 0:11:46.950 --> 0:11:49.850 Could you imagine if it fell on into a freeway 0:11:49.870 --> 0:11:51.250 bro what do you tell Geico. 0:11:51.070 --> 0:11:53.270 At that point the car went away my car went 0:11:53.330 --> 0:11:53.890 away and. 0:11:53.809 --> 0:11:55.390 The squirrel in my car y'all it's gonna be you 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:55.980 at fault. 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:58.780 So, but I mean, he does make a good point though, 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:00.599 but I will say this part. She probably grew up 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.980 watching a lot of TV. So my grandmother was right. 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:04.849 You watch the idiot box and now you think of 0:12:04.890 --> 0:12:06.510 squirrels in your car. You can't save your car. 0:12:06.750 --> 0:12:08.350 She's watching the Flintstones. Then she could stop it with 0:12:08.370 --> 0:12:08.709 her foot. 0:12:09.250 --> 0:12:11.090 That's looked like she was trying to do it. And 0:12:11.130 --> 0:12:12.780 the only thing that made me think she wasn't trying 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:14.380 to get money is when the car rolled over her. 0:12:14.740 --> 0:12:15.500 You don't plan that. 0:12:15.780 --> 0:12:16.959 Nah. 0:12:16.980 --> 0:12:20.140 First of all, you don't plan nobody recording you getting 0:12:20.179 --> 0:12:21.540 run over by a car. 0:12:21.620 --> 0:12:22.590 And they didn't even help. 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:24.309 They just recorded their life. 0:12:24.550 --> 0:12:25.490 That's what I'm saying. 0:12:25.830 --> 0:12:29.270 Who's recording this? Nothing. Calm. Steady. 0:12:29.530 --> 0:12:29.870 Steady. 0:12:29.890 --> 0:12:31.310 Shout out to the cameraman. 0:12:31.910 --> 0:12:33.710 I just saw a video of a little boy that 0:12:33.730 --> 0:12:35.559 was like, I'm going to get stung by this bee 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:37.720 on purpose just to see how it feels. 0:12:38.300 --> 0:12:41.540 And somebody commented, Maybe give this one a tablet. 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:47.679 That's funny. 0:12:47.900 --> 0:12:48.420 That's funny. 0:12:48.460 --> 0:12:51.040 That's good. Well, he's out there experiencing nature, huh? 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.880 Well, I mean, I will say this, though. I've done 0:12:54.900 --> 0:12:55.370 that before. 0:12:56.130 --> 0:12:58.610 Okay. But hopefully you knew that you weren't allergic to 0:12:58.650 --> 0:12:59.170 bees before. 0:12:59.190 --> 0:12:59.569 Yeah, I did. 0:12:59.590 --> 0:12:59.929 I did. 0:12:59.990 --> 0:13:00.230 I did. 0:13:00.290 --> 0:13:02.070 Because I'd already been, like, stung before. 0:13:02.090 --> 0:13:03.650 Oh, I thought you done give the kids a tablet. 0:13:03.670 --> 0:13:04.949 You done got stung on purpose. 0:13:05.510 --> 0:13:07.690 Yeah, because we was, yo, this is the truth. My 0:13:07.730 --> 0:13:10.230 grandmother's like, take your ass outside. So we was outside. 0:13:10.270 --> 0:13:12.780 There's nothing to do. It's hot, right? And then you 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:16.540 find a little beehive and you 11 years old. 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:18.980 And then your friends is telling you like, yo, yo, yo, 0:13:19.020 --> 0:13:21.340 the bee stings, bee stings. And you trying to be tough. 0:13:22.020 --> 0:13:23.620 So you like, man, it don't sting that bad. So 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.050 you go to put your hand in there until you 0:13:25.070 --> 0:13:27.750 get stung by that bee and that shit stings and 0:13:27.830 --> 0:13:29.290 it swells up a little bit, but. 0:13:29.860 --> 0:13:31.819 Bruh. DeVal was bad as fuck. 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:32.660 Yeah. 0:13:32.940 --> 0:13:33.900 That's bad kid activities. 0:13:33.950 --> 0:13:34.870 That's bad kid activities. 0:13:34.970 --> 0:13:35.830 I'm going to go find out. 0:13:35.850 --> 0:13:36.120 Is it bad? 0:13:36.150 --> 0:13:38.130 I'm going to stick my hand in a beehive. I 0:13:38.170 --> 0:13:39.429 didn't stick it in the beehive. 0:13:39.690 --> 0:13:41.210 I stuck it over there and a bee was on 0:13:41.230 --> 0:13:43.370 there and I was just like, I'm going to wait 0:13:43.390 --> 0:13:45.150 until it stings me to see how it hurts. 0:13:45.190 --> 0:13:46.470 And this shit hurt. It does. 0:13:46.490 --> 0:13:46.670 Yeah. 0:13:46.690 --> 0:13:49.110 I got stung in the face when I was in Vegas. 0:13:49.130 --> 0:13:49.410 Not the face. 0:13:49.470 --> 0:13:52.589 I didn't even know they had bees in Vegas. That 0:13:52.610 --> 0:13:53.550 shit hurt so bad. 0:13:53.610 --> 0:13:54.130 Bee stings hurt. 0:13:54.150 --> 0:13:57.670 Remember I got stung in the foot in Jamaica? I 0:13:58.030 --> 0:14:00.230 felt something like scratching my foot. So I used my 0:14:00.270 --> 0:14:02.550 other foot to brush it off. And I felt the 0:14:02.570 --> 0:14:05.710 stinger go straight through. I looked down and I was like, oh, 0:14:06.530 --> 0:14:07.220 cuspide wood. 0:14:07.500 --> 0:14:09.680 Yeah, I got stung in Jamaica too. I actually met 0:14:09.860 --> 0:14:12.920 the devalent bee form. The bee flew up my dress 0:14:14.020 --> 0:14:16.120 and stung me right on my inner thigh. 0:14:16.580 --> 0:14:19.120 And I felt it. Of course, it stung so bad. 0:14:19.230 --> 0:14:22.210 And then when I looked down, I remember Kaz's godmother, Joan, 0:14:22.230 --> 0:14:23.930 was like, wait, the stinger was still in there. 0:14:23.950 --> 0:14:25.810 So she had to use her nail to pull the 0:14:25.830 --> 0:14:28.130 stinger out. and it swole up, it got red, but 0:14:28.150 --> 0:14:29.070 it itched so bad. 0:14:29.090 --> 0:14:30.330 Do you know what it's like having an itch down 0:14:30.370 --> 0:14:30.830 in your crotch? 0:14:30.890 --> 0:14:33.010 So it's not devout, because I don't give you itches 0:14:33.070 --> 0:14:35.450 in your crotch. See, I was trying to see where 0:14:35.510 --> 0:14:36.810 it was going. I don't give you no itches in 0:14:36.830 --> 0:14:37.090 your crotch. 0:14:37.110 --> 0:14:38.530 I just don't know what the location where the bee 0:14:38.550 --> 0:14:41.030 was at. I'm like, why you up my dress? It 0:14:41.050 --> 0:14:42.030 was a smart bee. 0:14:42.070 --> 0:14:43.130 It was so bad. 0:14:43.270 --> 0:14:46.320 It was a smart bee fast, man. Close your legs. 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:48.780 And did you see what I'm saying, Josh? Now you 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:53.040 victim shaming. You see, John? You wrong. It's the bee's 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:54.180 fault at all times. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:55.479 It's so stupid. 0:14:56.410 --> 0:14:56.970 Oh, my God. 0:14:57.110 --> 0:14:58.750 All right. Was that all you had for the. 0:14:58.990 --> 0:14:59.650 I had one more. 0:14:59.690 --> 0:15:02.220 All right. 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:05.960 Speaking of kids not having common sense, I think that 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:10.860 the phones, the Internet, AI are making kids even dumber. 0:15:11.380 --> 0:15:14.280 There was a case recently in Mason, Ohio, which is 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:18.850 just outside of Cincinnati, where one student created AI generated 0:15:19.430 --> 0:15:21.830 porn of one of his classmates online. 0:15:22.260 --> 0:15:22.580 What? 0:15:23.020 --> 0:15:24.000 Yeah. 0:15:24.620 --> 0:15:27.660 And I think he was sending it to other people. 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:31.120 And she became aware of this. Her dad became aware 0:15:31.140 --> 0:15:33.260 of this. Now this kid, they put him in a, 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:35.680 he just got sentenced to four and a half months 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:40.490 at a residential treatment facility where it's a merit-based program 0:15:40.570 --> 0:15:44.670 where he'll undergo treatment for problematic sexual behaviors before he's 0:15:44.710 --> 0:15:45.290 placed on probation. 0:15:45.330 --> 0:15:46.030 How old is he? 0:15:46.690 --> 0:15:49.390 He was 15 when he did this. He's 16 now. 0:15:49.470 --> 0:15:51.920 So this is my question, right? I don't understand how 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.239 AI makes you create porn. There was a picture of 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.340 K in a bikini, and I was trying to make 0:15:56.380 --> 0:15:58.140 it look like a Boondocks character because that's the things 0:15:58.180 --> 0:16:00.780 I was doing. And ChatGPT told me we cannot do 0:16:00.830 --> 0:16:03.250 this because it goes against our guidelines. 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.760 Just because she had on a bikini. What app was 0:16:05.830 --> 0:16:07.470 he using? Grok. 0:16:07.850 --> 0:16:08.070 What? 0:16:08.350 --> 0:16:11.850 Grok. Twitter's AI. Can you do that on Grok? I'm sure, 0:16:11.910 --> 0:16:15.210 because if you see some of the stuff that it generates, yeah. 0:16:15.630 --> 0:16:16.670 There's a couple other ones. 0:16:16.690 --> 0:16:19.210 See, I ain't going to lie, but I've been off. 0:16:19.650 --> 0:16:20.100 I post.... 0:16:21.450 --> 0:16:23.150 But I'm not a consumer of social media. 0:16:23.510 --> 0:16:25.870 I didn't even I don't even know because and to 0:16:25.890 --> 0:16:27.990 be honest, you don't know what what's real and what's 0:16:28.010 --> 0:16:30.750 not like you don't. So sometimes I'm looking at stuff 0:16:30.770 --> 0:16:32.739 and I'm like, the first thing that kind of got 0:16:32.780 --> 0:16:34.120 me scared of me, put my phone down. 0:16:34.180 --> 0:16:36.020 It's an old lady at a football game. 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.140 It's an old lady sitting at a football game and 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.680 a kid passes her and she shouts out something. The 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.040 kid turns in like 300 kicks her in the chest. 0:16:45.020 --> 0:16:45.440 And it's like, boom. 0:16:45.460 --> 0:16:47.660 And I was just like, yo, like, and then I 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.350 looked at it and I was like, this ain't even real. 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.990 But I'm like, nah, bro. At this point, I'm not even, 0:16:53.090 --> 0:16:53.810 you know what I'm saying? 0:16:53.830 --> 0:16:55.710 The fact you're at the second guest, you're like, nah, 0:16:55.730 --> 0:16:56.410 I need to get off of this. 0:16:56.570 --> 0:16:56.810 Yes. 0:16:56.870 --> 0:16:58.590 And I was like, how did they even create this? 0:16:58.650 --> 0:17:00.290 And then the more you look at it, you realize 0:17:00.330 --> 0:17:02.890 how not real it is because you see little things. 0:17:02.930 --> 0:17:04.810 But at first glance, you like, and I was like, 0:17:04.830 --> 0:17:05.890 you know, I need to get off this thing. 0:17:05.950 --> 0:17:07.490 You see how difficult it is for you to tell? 0:17:07.850 --> 0:17:09.910 Imagine how difficult it is for all the older people 0:17:09.950 --> 0:17:13.649 on Facebook. And Facebook is nothing but AI stuff. I 0:17:13.690 --> 0:17:16.209 done seen some crazy iterations of y'all on Facebook. Oh, 0:17:16.230 --> 0:17:17.570 I done seen AI develop. 0:17:17.630 --> 0:17:19.710 I'm going to just close this. It's worse than. 0:17:19.510 --> 0:17:20.190 That thing up there. 0:17:20.450 --> 0:17:23.800 I done seen AI. You talking about my creation? Let 0:17:23.820 --> 0:17:24.240 me show them. 0:17:26.780 --> 0:17:28.400 They did not use AI for that. 0:17:28.540 --> 0:17:29.859 I think we talked about this before. 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.020 I sent a picture that I wanted this to look 0:17:32.060 --> 0:17:34.359 like me and K for our anniversary. Bruh. 0:17:34.380 --> 0:17:35.340 And they used Chad GPT. 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:36.970 I don't know who either of them people are. 0:17:36.980 --> 0:17:40.960 I don't know who. I don't know. That look like. 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:45.580 I don't even know who that look like. Either one 0:17:45.619 --> 0:17:47.000 of us. I'm going to leave this here, though, so 0:17:47.020 --> 0:17:48.399 y'all can figure it out and tell us who this 0:17:48.420 --> 0:17:48.659 looks like. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:49.800 You can tell us who that looks like. 0:17:49.820 --> 0:17:52.600 It looks like Michael Jordan's son and Larsa Pippen. 0:17:54.340 --> 0:17:55.050 It does, though. 0:17:55.830 --> 0:17:56.370 Don't it, though? 0:17:57.010 --> 0:17:59.550 It looks like Michael Jordan's son and Larsa Pippen. 0:17:59.609 --> 0:18:01.889 I'm so baffled. Every time I see it, I be 0:18:01.910 --> 0:18:02.449 so confused. 0:18:02.470 --> 0:18:03.369 It look like Steve. 0:18:04.030 --> 0:18:04.510 Steve who? 0:18:04.530 --> 0:18:05.070 Steve Harris. 0:18:06.369 --> 0:18:07.750 That's funny. 0:18:07.970 --> 0:18:11.710 It does, Deval. That's how you be talking to me. Deval. 0:18:12.590 --> 0:18:13.590 Shout out to Steve, my boy Steve. 0:18:13.609 --> 0:18:15.250 I love you, boy. Workaholics, baby. 0:18:15.290 --> 0:18:16.370 But this does look like you, Steve. 0:18:16.390 --> 0:18:17.130 Bon Bon. 0:18:17.410 --> 0:18:18.149 Y'all wrong. 0:18:18.190 --> 0:18:21.330 This looks like our interior designer, Monet. 0:18:22.010 --> 0:18:22.150 Monet? 0:18:22.170 --> 0:18:23.129 Let's say Monet. 0:18:23.150 --> 0:18:23.990 So Steve and Monet. 0:18:24.010 --> 0:18:25.710 Steve and Monet. It ain't me and you. 0:18:26.060 --> 0:18:26.880 It ain't me and you. 0:18:27.130 --> 0:18:29.600 But they couldn't create this, but on AI, they got 0:18:29.700 --> 0:18:30.780 full porns of people. 0:18:30.859 --> 0:18:31.080 Yeah. 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:31.620 Listen. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:33.220 Let me ask a question. What would you do? You 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:36.180 got daughters. What would you do? If someone created a 0:18:36.220 --> 0:18:38.080 porn of your daughter. 0:18:38.100 --> 0:18:39.940 You know what I do? I have no idea. 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:40.420 In high school. 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:42.980 I can't even process that right now. What can you do? Yeah, 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:43.700 that's insane. 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:44.760 Sick. 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:46.960 But somebody going to get hurt. Yeah. I mean, if 0:18:46.980 --> 0:18:49.120 I can, if I can, I might want to take 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:50.680 it there. I mean, whatever. 0:18:50.700 --> 0:18:51.020 I feel you. 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.280 I want to find out who put in that input. 0:18:53.380 --> 0:18:53.620 Right. 0:18:53.660 --> 0:18:56.740 That person's going to get in trouble, like, ultimately. 0:18:58.500 --> 0:19:01.200 See, I don't even know what the precedent is. Because, 0:19:01.220 --> 0:19:03.840 for example, if you make... If you make a sex. 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.620 Tape with somebody and you share the sex tape, that's 0:19:05.660 --> 0:19:07.390 both of y'all on the sex tape. That's one thing. 0:19:07.730 --> 0:19:09.790 But you took your time to create a porn about 0:19:09.830 --> 0:19:11.270 somebody you've never had a relation with. 0:19:11.310 --> 0:19:12.650 It's a different level of evil. 0:19:13.250 --> 0:19:15.190 That's not even revenge porn at this point. That's a 0:19:15.230 --> 0:19:15.890 different time. 0:19:15.910 --> 0:19:17.490 That's what I'm saying. What's the precedent for that? 0:19:17.510 --> 0:19:20.920 It's like the rule and regulations constantly evolved as technology evolves. 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.879 You have to now implement more rules and laws and regulations. 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:24.560 She just said it. 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:27.160 It's child porn. And that kid, to me, he should 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:30.280 have been more harshly punished. If he was black, He 0:19:30.300 --> 0:19:33.100 definitely would have been more harshly punished. And I feel 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:35.520 like the girl's dad should have beat the shit. They 0:19:35.540 --> 0:19:38.850 should have been like, your sentence is the girl's dad 0:19:38.869 --> 0:19:41.109 gets to beat the fuck out of you right now 0:19:41.170 --> 0:19:42.670 and for the rest of the year. 0:19:42.970 --> 0:19:44.489 Every time he thinks about it, he could just come 0:19:44.510 --> 0:19:45.570 to your house and punch your ass. 0:19:45.609 --> 0:19:47.710 Because of the humiliation that she's going to have to 0:19:47.750 --> 0:19:49.530 endure from that, even though it's not real, but still. 0:19:49.550 --> 0:19:50.230 Yeah, that's it. thing. 0:19:50.270 --> 0:19:51.330 That's the thing, yeah. 0:19:51.470 --> 0:19:53.470 And he should be expelled. I hope he got expelled. 0:19:53.730 --> 0:19:57.040 I second-guessed myself because I'm like, it's not actually my daughter. Like, 0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.940 I'm sitting here thinking it's like, that's not her. But 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:01.120 the reality is. 0:20:01.140 --> 0:20:02.180 It seems real. 0:20:02.420 --> 0:20:03.000 It's her likeness. 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:05.199 And she has to deal with the fallout from that. 0:20:05.220 --> 0:20:06.820 Because nobody cares that. 0:20:06.780 --> 0:20:07.399 It's not real. 0:20:07.540 --> 0:20:08.720 Yeah, that's a violation. 0:20:09.230 --> 0:20:10.709 And then some people not going to know that it's 0:20:10.750 --> 0:20:11.170 not real. 0:20:11.330 --> 0:20:11.770 Correct. 0:20:11.910 --> 0:20:12.550 You know what I'm saying? 0:20:12.630 --> 0:20:13.370 That's the worst part. 0:20:13.830 --> 0:20:14.050 Yeah. 0:20:14.270 --> 0:20:16.810 They need to start having harsher penalties for people who 0:20:16.830 --> 0:20:18.410 do stuff like that and create stuff online. 0:20:18.430 --> 0:20:19.850 It got to be one of their kids first. That's 0:20:19.869 --> 0:20:21.210 the only way the rule going to go in place. 0:20:22.470 --> 0:20:24.590 You know, and it does have to literally be one 0:20:24.630 --> 0:20:26.520 of their kids because I did see a report that 0:20:26.540 --> 0:20:27.449 kind of pissed me off. 0:20:27.950 --> 0:20:29.320 The young man, and I don't even want to call 0:20:29.340 --> 0:20:31.859 him a young man, in Oklahoma who raped the two girls. 0:20:34.880 --> 0:20:38.750 Young white man raped two girls. One girl, he... Broke 0:20:38.790 --> 0:20:40.850 her neck. She has lifelong injuries she's going to have 0:20:40.869 --> 0:20:41.149 to deal with. 0:20:41.170 --> 0:20:42.830 The other girl, he beat her so bad. And his 0:20:42.910 --> 0:20:45.570 mom was in the room listening to it. And he 0:20:45.650 --> 0:20:49.690 beat her so bad. And then he got sentenced to 78. 0:20:48.950 --> 0:20:49.990 Years in prison. 0:20:50.090 --> 0:20:54.010 And then the judge gave him, I think, a year 0:20:54.130 --> 0:20:56.590 probation and 150 hours. 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:57.020 Of community service. 0:20:57.060 --> 0:20:58.820 Yeah, he didn't know what to serve, no jail time. 0:20:58.859 --> 0:21:00.680 And now he's on his way to go to college 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:01.040 right now. 0:21:01.460 --> 0:21:02.260 Oh, yeah. 0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:04.000 And that's why I said, and these was two white 0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:06.510 girls and this was a white boy. So it's like 0:21:06.550 --> 0:21:06.889 this is. 0:21:06.930 --> 0:21:10.510 One of their choices. Not once but twice. And he 0:21:10.570 --> 0:21:13.409 still gets to live his life. Which to me is 0:21:13.430 --> 0:21:15.810 like they really don't care. Same thing with school shootings. 0:21:16.590 --> 0:21:19.429 Most of the school shootings that happen don't happen in 0:21:19.510 --> 0:21:22.570 urban areas. They happen in suburban white areas. How come 0:21:22.590 --> 0:21:25.150 they haven't changed gun reform? Because they don't care. 0:21:25.170 --> 0:21:27.929 They want to take away my rights to hold my guns. 0:21:28.580 --> 0:21:29.199 That's all you hear. 0:21:29.210 --> 0:21:32.139 I feel like in that case, you don't have a 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:35.700 choice as a parent but to like kill the dude. 0:21:36.420 --> 0:21:37.980 He's got to die at this point. 0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:40.470 Listen, I'm not upset that you tripled. Y'all ever seen 0:21:40.510 --> 0:21:41.870 the movie Law Abiding Citizen? 0:21:42.710 --> 0:21:43.010 Mm-hmm. 0:21:45.330 --> 0:21:46.510 It's on Netflix right now if you haven't. 0:21:47.290 --> 0:21:49.989 Go watch Law Abiding Citizen. And the funny thing is, 0:21:50.150 --> 0:21:52.520 the father didn't get away with it. The father ended up, 0:21:52.550 --> 0:21:55.180 I don't want to give the movie away, but he 0:21:55.260 --> 0:21:58.740 ended up having to watch his wife get sexually assaulted 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:02.679 and his child murdered. And he ended up getting the 0:22:02.720 --> 0:22:04.520 two people who did it, but he didn't only just 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:05.659 get the two people who did it. 0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:09.480 He went after the detective, the attorneys, the. 0:22:09.420 --> 0:22:12.780 Judge, anyone who found a way to circumvent those men 0:22:12.820 --> 0:22:16.679 being released from prison. He went after everybody. It's one 0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:18.840 of my favorite movies of all time, Gerard Butler and 0:22:18.859 --> 0:22:22.300 Jamie Foxx. Go watch Law Abiding Citizen. If you don't 0:22:22.340 --> 0:22:24.619 understand what Tribble talking about, go watch that. You don't 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.119 understand it. You don't understand it because I feel as 0:22:27.180 --> 0:22:30.680 a parent and Tribble, you don't have kids yet. I 0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:31.740 don't know if you want to have kids, but I 0:22:31.740 --> 0:22:32.919 don't want to say you don't have kids because you 0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:36.060 may want to. There's something about having children. It's like 0:22:36.100 --> 0:22:41.660 your heart is now out on this living person with legs. 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:43.920 That's your heart. And if you watch. 0:22:43.740 --> 0:22:46.729 Someone deliberately do something to your child and then get 0:22:46.790 --> 0:22:49.950 away with it, it's not only just the person who 0:22:49.990 --> 0:22:52.350 did it. It's everyone else who made them get away 0:22:52.390 --> 0:22:55.150 with it that is going to become like a product 0:22:55.230 --> 0:22:56.730 of your revenge tour. 0:22:56.810 --> 0:22:59.790 And I, bro, I pray. I'm a knock on wood. 0:22:59.850 --> 0:23:03.070 I pray and I hope. that nothing like this ever happens. 0:23:03.109 --> 0:23:04.910 Cause I'm with you. I don't know how I would respond. 0:23:05.310 --> 0:23:07.850 It's easy for people to say, if it's not them, 0:23:08.109 --> 0:23:11.369 they know how they would respond. You don't know until you, 0:23:11.390 --> 0:23:12.750 you just don't, you don't know. 0:23:12.770 --> 0:23:18.930 I pray. I pray that I pray that that never happens. Yeah. 0:23:18.950 --> 0:23:19.300 For real. 0:23:19.450 --> 0:23:19.910 That part. 0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:21.720 All right. 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:24.600 Well, speaking, I also say this too. I just want 0:23:24.619 --> 0:23:25.859 to cut this off. I have four boys. 0:23:25.920 --> 0:23:28.480 I'm making it very clear to my four boys and, 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:31.330 In the book that I'm writing, there's a segment that 0:23:31.369 --> 0:23:35.090 talks about protecting the queen. And it's also about understanding 0:23:35.130 --> 0:23:38.409 that when you lay down with a young woman, you 0:23:38.450 --> 0:23:40.550 have to understand who she is as a human before 0:23:41.210 --> 0:23:43.330 you lay down with her, right? She's not just her 0:23:43.369 --> 0:23:46.469 body and she's not going to be, um, relegated to 0:23:46.510 --> 0:23:47.730 the act that you just committed. 0:23:47.770 --> 0:23:50.690 You have to teach young people how to respect other people. 0:23:51.310 --> 0:23:53.430 If we, if we as parents just start doing that, 0:23:53.550 --> 0:23:56.930 like consistently and having these conversations, We wouldn't. 0:23:56.710 --> 0:23:59.669 Be having the conversation before this. You know what I'm saying? 0:24:00.109 --> 0:24:02.210 Like we have to start viewing each other as people 0:24:02.650 --> 0:24:03.810 so that we can respect. 0:24:03.970 --> 0:24:04.190 Yes. 0:24:04.270 --> 0:24:07.280 As parents, please be proactive about teaching your young men 0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:10.000 and young women about consent, you know, and about just 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:14.060 respecting each other because the world has become hypersexual because 0:24:14.100 --> 0:24:16.929 of social media. Like, you can pick up your phone 0:24:17.250 --> 0:24:19.030 and see anything. When back in the day, we were 0:24:19.050 --> 0:24:21.440 talking about the old rotary phones. If I wanted to 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:23.200 watch porn, I had to go to a friend's house 0:24:23.220 --> 0:24:24.960 who had the Spice Channel or Playboy. 0:24:25.260 --> 0:24:26.619 Then there was a secret code. 0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:28.179 There was a magazine. You know what I'm saying? 0:24:28.200 --> 0:24:30.380 There's so many things you had to do. Don't ask 0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:31.770 me how I knew all these things you had to do. 0:24:32.150 --> 0:24:33.710 But there's a lot of things, you know? 0:24:34.410 --> 0:24:35.390 Or a couple of blue movies. 0:24:35.930 --> 0:24:37.750 Are Playboy magazines still around? 0:24:38.230 --> 0:24:39.389 Magazines was a thing back then. 0:24:39.410 --> 0:24:39.990 Playboy's still around? 0:24:40.310 --> 0:24:40.730 Yeah, man. 0:24:41.010 --> 0:24:41.570 Playboy ain't. 0:24:41.990 --> 0:24:44.379 I mean, with technology and social media now, it's like, eh, 0:24:44.640 --> 0:24:45.699 nobody really cares probably. 0:24:45.960 --> 0:24:48.000 The funny thing is, I told Josh when he first 0:24:48.040 --> 0:24:50.200 walked in, I was just like, yo, I got something 0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:52.020 on my phone that's going to go viral, right? 0:24:52.140 --> 0:24:53.360 And he was like, what is it, a sex tape? 0:24:53.400 --> 0:24:54.639 And I was like, I don't think sex tapes would 0:24:54.660 --> 0:24:57.530 even go viral anymore. You open up Twitter right now 0:24:57.609 --> 0:25:00.050 or X, and it's just porn. That's why I don't 0:25:00.070 --> 0:25:02.510 even have X on my phone anymore. The minute you 0:25:02.570 --> 0:25:03.609 open it up, it's just porn. 0:25:03.630 --> 0:25:06.570 So if you have a young person and all they 0:25:06.630 --> 0:25:10.190 see is just the hyper-sexualization of the opposite sex, their 0:25:10.230 --> 0:25:12.369 mind now thinks that that's all it is. 0:25:12.530 --> 0:25:14.210 Well, all those AI pages are with women. 0:25:14.330 --> 0:25:17.630 Grok is the AI of X. Elon Musk. It's built 0:25:17.670 --> 0:25:18.350 into Tesla. 0:25:18.369 --> 0:25:22.169 So now I see why you said, now it makes 0:25:22.190 --> 0:25:24.359 sense why he says that Grok is probably the app 0:25:24.380 --> 0:25:26.020 that they used for that. 0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:30.060 Because X is crazy. Like, one thing I told Jackson, 0:25:30.100 --> 0:25:31.540 I was like, no, you can't get that. 0:25:31.619 --> 0:25:35.000 And he asked me which apps he could get, and 0:25:35.020 --> 0:25:35.850 I said, you can't get X. 0:25:35.880 --> 0:25:37.260 And he was like, why? And I was like, no. 0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:39.960 I said, first of all, it should have a parental 0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:42.280 advisory on it, and it should be 25 and up. 0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:44.740 It shouldn't be 18. It should be 25 and up 0:25:44.780 --> 0:25:45.399 to be on X. 0:25:45.600 --> 0:25:47.090 Damn, I haven't been over that. 0:25:47.180 --> 0:25:49.090 I'd be looking at it like, what the hell? What 0:25:49.210 --> 0:25:49.510 is this? 0:25:49.670 --> 0:25:52.489 I seldom delete apps on my phone. I had to 0:25:52.510 --> 0:25:53.030 delete X. 0:25:53.170 --> 0:25:53.929 I did, too, bro. 0:25:53.970 --> 0:25:54.630 It didn't make no sense. 0:25:54.850 --> 0:25:55.230 I did, too. 0:25:56.380 --> 0:25:58.040 Never really been on it anyway, which is good. 0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:00.800 But there's the pages now with women now, AI women, 0:26:01.380 --> 0:26:03.239 that you've shown me that, like, I'll be. 0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:03.980 Looking at sometimes on scroll. 0:26:04.020 --> 0:26:04.900 Man, I want to make one of those. 0:26:05.109 --> 0:26:05.609 Bruh. 0:26:05.790 --> 0:26:07.570 And I'm just like, oh, look at her physique. Like, 0:26:07.590 --> 0:26:09.609 I look at women all the time for, like, you know, physique. 0:26:09.630 --> 0:26:11.230 And I'm like, oh, that, you know, she works out. 0:26:11.310 --> 0:26:11.830 Nah, it's AI. 0:26:12.130 --> 0:26:12.650 Nah, it's AI. 0:26:12.770 --> 0:26:13.290 I'm like, oh. 0:26:13.510 --> 0:26:16.530 Yeah, I want to make an AI Instagram girl. 0:26:16.550 --> 0:26:20.110 I can't be a baddie. It's too much. It's too 0:26:20.130 --> 0:26:20.709 much work. 0:26:20.750 --> 0:26:21.600 Too much comes with it. 0:26:21.869 --> 0:26:23.580 Yeah, it's like, I don't feel like doing it. 0:26:23.580 --> 0:26:24.100 It's a lot. 0:26:24.840 --> 0:26:27.280 I can sit on my couch and make an AI lady. 0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:29.550 And you'll get a lot of people to follow you too. 0:26:29.580 --> 0:26:30.420 Hell yeah. 0:26:30.460 --> 0:26:30.960 You sure would. 0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:33.040 Why do you want to sit on your couch and 0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:34.180 make an AI person? 0:26:34.830 --> 0:26:35.379 To do what? 0:26:35.420 --> 0:26:36.270 To live your wildest days? 0:26:36.290 --> 0:26:37.730 To make money off. 0:26:37.990 --> 0:26:38.650 The virtual space. 0:26:38.690 --> 0:26:39.070 Yeah. 0:26:39.369 --> 0:26:40.410 Oh, okay. All right. 0:26:40.570 --> 0:26:42.429 Make an AI OnlyFans? That'd be tight. 0:26:43.130 --> 0:26:44.610 I'm sure somebody already doing that. 0:26:44.730 --> 0:26:47.710 I wouldn't be surprised if there was an audience for that. 0:26:47.850 --> 0:26:48.170 A market. 0:26:48.190 --> 0:26:49.369 Because there's a foot market. 0:26:50.230 --> 0:26:52.790 That's the fact that there is a market for that. 0:26:52.810 --> 0:26:53.450 Yeah, definitely. 0:26:54.320 --> 0:26:55.020 Get on it, Trips. 0:26:55.460 --> 0:26:56.180 Absolutely. 0:26:56.200 --> 0:26:58.920 Get a hell of a wave. 0:26:58.980 --> 0:26:59.880 Trips and A.I. 0:27:00.900 --> 0:27:01.359 Trips and A.I. 0:27:01.380 --> 0:27:03.220 Be like, I don't feel like taking my clothes off today. 0:27:04.880 --> 0:27:07.639 Trips, if you had A.I., would you shave your A.I. 0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:08.020 's legs? 0:27:08.780 --> 0:27:09.840 Nigga, no. 0:27:11.440 --> 0:27:14.750 Maybe not. Maybe not. It depends on who the audience is. 0:27:15.150 --> 0:27:16.700 Depends on who the audience is. Somebody might like it, 0:27:17.250 --> 0:27:17.550 you know. 0:27:18.570 --> 0:27:18.870 All right. 0:27:18.890 --> 0:27:23.550 So as we transition out of this conversation... Let's get 0:27:23.590 --> 0:27:25.250 back to the meat of the show today. So we're 0:27:25.290 --> 0:27:28.690 talking about selecting the proper schools for your children, what 0:27:28.750 --> 0:27:31.250 that looks like. Just because a good school doesn't mean 0:27:31.270 --> 0:27:33.040 that it's a good school for your child. If you 0:27:33.080 --> 0:27:35.899 have multiple children who are growing up in the same household. 0:27:35.540 --> 0:27:38.120 Together, it's clear that each child. 0:27:37.940 --> 0:27:41.760 Is an individual and their wants, their needs, their learning capacity, 0:27:41.800 --> 0:27:45.790 their learning method is different and can be different. 0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:47.300 So I think that's something. 0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:50.729 That we have discovered having four boys here and just 0:27:50.770 --> 0:27:52.990 looking at the way they absorb information, the way they 0:27:53.010 --> 0:27:55.090 retain information is totally different. 0:27:55.109 --> 0:27:58.050 So the strategy and the approach has to be different. 0:27:58.070 --> 0:28:01.020 And if you add the layer of AI and technology 0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:04.720 onto this conversation, it's finding not only the right school, 0:28:04.740 --> 0:28:07.060 but what is that schooling system going to look like 0:28:07.100 --> 0:28:09.840 for our kids in the future? as things continue to 0:28:09.900 --> 0:28:13.790 progress and continue to evolve, you know, what are the 0:28:13.890 --> 0:28:16.470 majors they're going to be looking to major in, in school, 0:28:16.650 --> 0:28:19.649 especially as they get older with Jackson starting his freshman 0:28:19.690 --> 0:28:21.730 year of high school, you know, what are you looking 0:28:21.770 --> 0:28:23.790 to major in? That's going to garner you some sort 0:28:23.810 --> 0:28:27.100 of job that can be lucrative in four years as 0:28:27.230 --> 0:28:30.960 rapidly as things are evolving. So any thoughts on that? 0:28:31.420 --> 0:28:33.920 Anybody here, let me open the floor with this question. 0:28:35.560 --> 0:28:37.720 Any of you, when you went to school, felt like 0:28:37.820 --> 0:28:41.000 your school environment was not the right environment for you? 0:28:41.340 --> 0:28:44.960 Meaning that you didn't absorb information properly. You did not 0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:47.420 like the teaching style. You didn't feel like you were 0:28:47.440 --> 0:28:50.760 a traditional learner. You thought that you needed more creativity 0:28:50.800 --> 0:28:53.040 or more movement. Any of you felt like you were 0:28:53.080 --> 0:28:55.860 in the wrong environment for your style? 0:28:56.440 --> 0:28:56.680 Yeah. 0:28:56.900 --> 0:29:02.200 I mean, I feel more post-mortem that I left. But absolutely. 0:29:02.220 --> 0:29:08.140 I mean, you feel uncomfortable. Not prepared, anxious. I mean, 0:29:08.160 --> 0:29:12.540 for me, my first semester in college was absolutely terrible. 0:29:12.580 --> 0:29:14.760 I didn't know how to pick classes. And when I 0:29:14.820 --> 0:29:17.040 did pick my classes, I picked them late. So you 0:29:17.060 --> 0:29:20.120 pick late. All the good ones are full. You either 0:29:20.160 --> 0:29:22.620 got like a 6 a.m. on a Monday and you 0:29:22.660 --> 0:29:25.610 got like a 5 a.m. on that same day. And 0:29:25.670 --> 0:29:26.990 like the middle of your day, you just got to 0:29:27.170 --> 0:29:30.720 manage that properly. It was absolutely, I was not prepared 0:29:31.440 --> 0:29:33.780 for what I went into. Partly it was my fault, 0:29:33.820 --> 0:29:36.750 but partly my environment around me, my parents didn't go 0:29:36.790 --> 0:29:38.290 away to college. They didn't know what to do. 0:29:38.310 --> 0:29:41.020 You think it was for lack of knowledge? Do you 0:29:41.040 --> 0:29:43.000 think you were coddled a bit too much in that environment? 0:29:43.020 --> 0:29:44.880 Oh, it was definitely lack of knowledge. I don't think 0:29:44.900 --> 0:29:49.020 I had any... I would say it's split, but I 0:29:49.060 --> 0:29:51.760 would favor more of lack of knowledge than anything else. 0:29:53.080 --> 0:29:55.480 You didn't have to pick your classes in high school? 0:29:56.970 --> 0:29:57.090 No. 0:29:57.110 --> 0:29:57.170 No. 0:29:58.150 --> 0:30:00.290 Yeah we didn't we didn't pick classes y'all pick classes 0:30:00.350 --> 0:30:01.950 in new york city public schools no. 0:30:01.910 --> 0:30:04.730 I think i just picked my foreign language as a 0:30:04.950 --> 0:30:08.710 preference and then i picked the type of like physical 0:30:08.750 --> 0:30:10.310 education so i didn't want regular gym i did like 0:30:10.330 --> 0:30:11.850 aerobics but other. 0:30:11.710 --> 0:30:13.570 Than that gym or dance i went to high school 0:30:13.610 --> 0:30:16.030 high school for art so our electives we pick like 0:30:17.050 --> 0:30:20.520 cartooning or painting or photography or architecture that. 0:30:20.430 --> 0:30:22.980 Sort of thing but Did you do photography in high school? 0:30:23.180 --> 0:30:24.040 That's where I found photography. 0:30:24.060 --> 0:30:24.900 That's where you found photography. 0:30:24.920 --> 0:30:27.000 Yeah, I went there for cartooning and then I did photography. 0:30:27.180 --> 0:30:29.680 Ah, dope. Jackson's doing a photography like this. 0:30:30.530 --> 0:30:31.010 Oh, nice. 0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:33.310 Yeah, this semester. So we'll see how that goes. 0:30:34.210 --> 0:30:35.450 I talk about this a little bit in the book, 0:30:35.470 --> 0:30:37.360 but learning styles because of what you brought up. 0:30:37.530 --> 0:30:38.170 What book is that? 0:30:38.990 --> 0:30:40.930 Oh, it's a book that I'm writing called Raising Kings. 0:30:41.550 --> 0:30:42.090 Oh, how nice. 0:30:42.110 --> 0:30:43.670 Yes, called Raising Kings. It's going to be coming out 0:30:43.750 --> 0:30:47.190 April 2027. Okay, now. I'm excited about it. 0:30:47.190 --> 0:30:47.860 For your birthday? Yeah. 0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:49.980 No, it's not coming out on my birthday. 0:30:50.010 --> 0:30:52.090 It's coming out for Father's Day, but before Father's Day 0:30:52.110 --> 0:30:53.190 so people can have it for Father's Day. 0:30:53.210 --> 0:30:54.070 So people can pre-order. 0:30:54.490 --> 0:30:54.730 Yes. 0:30:54.970 --> 0:30:56.170 Pre-order for DeVell's birthday. 0:30:56.410 --> 0:30:58.370 There you go. Oh, it's going to be a big 0:30:58.410 --> 0:30:59.290 birthday point. 0:30:59.310 --> 0:31:00.750 Pre-order for my birthday. 0:31:01.250 --> 0:31:03.790 It's called Raising Kings, What Fatherhood Taught Me About Manhood. 0:31:04.850 --> 0:31:07.880 And there's a whole chapter in there about early childhood education. 0:31:08.150 --> 0:31:10.540 And the things that I've learned because I have four 0:31:10.600 --> 0:31:13.180 sons and all of their learning styles are completely different. 0:31:13.700 --> 0:31:14.680 And I had to learn how. 0:31:14.600 --> 0:31:17.160 To pivot and adjust depending on which child I was 0:31:17.220 --> 0:31:20.830 talking to And it just made me like rethink everything 0:31:20.890 --> 0:31:23.030 I know about early childhood education. 0:31:23.050 --> 0:31:26.130 For example, you get in a class and you're seven 0:31:26.150 --> 0:31:28.410 years old. Say you cast seven, eight years old. There's 0:31:28.410 --> 0:31:30.209 30 kids in the class with one teacher. 0:31:30.890 --> 0:31:35.130 And 30 people is 30 different personalities, 30 different learning styles. 0:31:35.170 --> 0:31:38.570 But they create a curriculum and a standard that everyone 0:31:38.610 --> 0:31:39.310 has to follow. 0:31:39.390 --> 0:31:42.630 And if you don't fall underneath that standard, you're often 0:31:42.670 --> 0:31:46.640 put aside as a learning deficiency. When the truth is, 0:31:46.760 --> 0:31:49.219 I may not just learn that way. And what we 0:31:49.240 --> 0:31:52.260 learned with our kids is that you can't put any 0:31:52.320 --> 0:31:54.630 child in an environment just because you think this is 0:31:54.650 --> 0:31:57.190 the environment they should learn. She and I grew up 0:31:57.410 --> 0:32:00.590 in a very strict Baptist school, Bethlehem Baptist Academy. 0:32:01.110 --> 0:32:02.750 So strict that if you stepped out of line, you 0:32:02.790 --> 0:32:04.650 get beat once in a while. I'll tell you this 0:32:04.690 --> 0:32:07.020 right now. I needed that. Like I was the type 0:32:07.060 --> 0:32:08.160 of child who needed that. 0:32:08.040 --> 0:32:09.640 Structure because if I didn't and you put me in 0:32:09.680 --> 0:32:12.220 a Montessori school back then, I'd have ran the whole school. 0:32:12.460 --> 0:32:15.760 You would have been the president. 0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:16.350 Of the Montessori school. 0:32:16.590 --> 0:32:18.630 I would have did everything. I would have found ways 0:32:18.710 --> 0:32:20.970 not to do work. I would have finessed my way. 0:32:20.890 --> 0:32:21.150 Out of things. 0:32:21.170 --> 0:32:22.270 The child didn't feel like learning today. 0:32:22.930 --> 0:32:23.950 And that would have been okay. 0:32:24.010 --> 0:32:25.730 And that would have been, yeah, exactly. For me in 0:32:25.770 --> 0:32:27.470 that school, I just used to always like to walk 0:32:27.510 --> 0:32:28.990 the straight and narrow. People used to call me goody 0:32:29.010 --> 0:32:30.520 two-shoes or whatever it is. But I wasn't trying to 0:32:30.540 --> 0:32:33.340 get beat. Like my parents signed off on that corporal 0:32:33.380 --> 0:32:34.380 punishment situation. 0:32:34.420 --> 0:32:34.540 Yeah. 0:32:34.880 --> 0:32:36.500 And I wasn't trying to have that kind of smoke, 0:32:36.520 --> 0:32:38.040 so I just used to walk the straight and narrow. 0:32:38.380 --> 0:32:40.000 You were a habitual line stepper, weren't you? 0:32:40.020 --> 0:32:40.380 I was. 0:32:41.040 --> 0:32:41.280 I was. 0:32:41.300 --> 0:32:42.120 That's why I needed that. 0:32:42.280 --> 0:32:42.480 Yeah. 0:32:42.640 --> 0:32:45.810 Because I would have found any little way to start it. Like, ah, 0:32:45.850 --> 0:32:47.290 so wait, I don't got to play with blocks. I 0:32:47.330 --> 0:32:49.610 can go outside again today. I think I'm going to 0:32:49.630 --> 0:32:49.910 do that. 0:32:50.030 --> 0:32:51.490 But you left them with the second and third grade. 0:32:51.770 --> 0:32:53.330 Montessori's not that lenient now. 0:32:54.190 --> 0:32:58.010 Some of them are lenient, though. Like, all of the 0:32:58.030 --> 0:32:59.150 Montessori's aren't lenient. 0:32:59.190 --> 0:33:00.730 But we've had, for example. 0:33:02.110 --> 0:33:03.910 What Montessori method was it where they said they don't 0:33:03.950 --> 0:33:05.510 even take no tests until third grade? 0:33:05.710 --> 0:33:06.170 Where were we? 0:33:06.210 --> 0:33:07.490 We're in California. 0:33:07.510 --> 0:33:10.010 We're in California. And they were just like, yeah, we 0:33:10.030 --> 0:33:12.650 don't do any testing or anything. And we were asking, like, 0:33:12.670 --> 0:33:13.710 they don't have a curriculum. 0:33:14.520 --> 0:33:15.120 To third grade? 0:33:15.380 --> 0:33:17.740 To third grade. And we asked, we said, what's the curriculum? 0:33:18.100 --> 0:33:21.100 And they were like, well, we have certain things, certain 0:33:21.140 --> 0:33:25.520 milestones we want each child to meet. So depending on 0:33:25.540 --> 0:33:28.660 the year and things like that, we'll, you know, try 0:33:28.700 --> 0:33:31.290 to direct them in. the area so that they can 0:33:31.330 --> 0:33:33.070 meet the milestone by third. 0:33:32.850 --> 0:33:33.990 Grade, which is eight years old. 0:33:34.960 --> 0:33:36.460 And I, you know, now that I have four sons 0:33:36.500 --> 0:33:39.160 and I'm looking at Dakota, who's four and I'm like, 0:33:39.180 --> 0:33:40.800 so for four years, you're going to try to let 0:33:40.840 --> 0:33:41.800 him figure that out. 0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:44.860 And you, Dakota's a lot like me. He going to 0:33:44.900 --> 0:33:46.940 finesse that. You know what I'm saying? And I was 0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:48.340 just like, there's no, he needs to be. 0:33:48.300 --> 0:33:50.660 In a school with structure. Yeah, absolutely. 0:33:50.680 --> 0:33:52.410 You know, like that's, that's him. Like he needs to 0:33:52.430 --> 0:33:53.630 be in a school with structure. The only one I 0:33:53.650 --> 0:33:56.630 think that would be okay in the Montessori would be Cairo. 0:33:57.540 --> 0:33:59.420 Because Kyra was very aware, right? 0:34:00.140 --> 0:34:01.840 I know what you're saying in your head, no, because 0:34:01.860 --> 0:34:05.020 Kyra liked to finesse too. But think about the rest 0:34:05.060 --> 0:34:08.390 of our kids, right? Jackson, he needs to be told 0:34:08.430 --> 0:34:10.129 deliberately what to do and where to be. And when 0:34:10.170 --> 0:34:11.270 he's told that, he excels. 0:34:11.469 --> 0:34:12.330 Kaz, the same thing. 0:34:12.350 --> 0:34:15.270 He likes structure, competition, clear expectations. 0:34:15.810 --> 0:34:17.330 Kyra was going to look up and be like, oh, 0:34:17.370 --> 0:34:18.569 this is what we're doing. I think I can find 0:34:18.590 --> 0:34:20.270 the best way to do this. But then he'll use 0:34:20.330 --> 0:34:23.440 his mind. to kind of put pieces together. I think 0:34:23.500 --> 0:34:26.560 Montessori works for kids like that. Observing kids that can 0:34:26.580 --> 0:34:28.819 figure things out, it challenges them in a different way 0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:31.180 because Cairo is also like me where he don't like 0:34:31.219 --> 0:34:33.660 to be told exactly what to do. Remember when I 0:34:33.680 --> 0:34:35.359 said I was the bad kid? Oh, you can't stick 0:34:35.380 --> 0:34:36.259 your hand in? I'm going to stick my hand in 0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:38.080 and show you I can do it. Cairo has a 0:34:38.100 --> 0:34:38.799 lot of that in him. 0:34:38.860 --> 0:34:40.719 But Cairo also has discipline that you taught him. 0:34:41.700 --> 0:34:42.299 I mean, it is. 0:34:42.550 --> 0:34:44.450 He's kind of like the mixture of the two because 0:34:44.489 --> 0:34:47.469 he does have structure. He knows what he wants to do, 0:34:47.489 --> 0:34:49.360 how he's going to achieve it. He just has to 0:34:49.400 --> 0:34:51.359 know what the goal is. And he's going to find 0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:51.700 his way. 0:34:52.020 --> 0:34:53.600 Of all of them, I think he's the only one. 0:34:53.640 --> 0:34:55.299 I can't say yet for Dakota because he's only four. 0:34:55.660 --> 0:34:57.400 I'll be able to tell by the time Dakota gets 0:34:57.420 --> 0:35:01.020 to be eight. But Jax and Kaz need structure. 0:35:01.180 --> 0:35:04.649 They need discipline. They thrive off of that. If we remove. 0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:05.910 That from them, they'll just be sitting there like, well, 0:35:05.930 --> 0:35:06.790 you ain't tell me what to do. 0:35:06.830 --> 0:35:08.750 That was me as a kid, too. And as a. 0:35:09.850 --> 0:35:10.130 What? 0:35:11.410 --> 0:35:14.110 You got to keep me disciplined and structured. 0:35:14.150 --> 0:35:14.450 Bro. 0:35:14.790 --> 0:35:15.870 Moment of truth. 0:35:15.910 --> 0:35:20.610 Let me tell you. Sagittarius to me would be like, Whatever. Spontaneous. 0:35:20.660 --> 0:35:22.719 Let's go travel today. I don't care what we do. 0:35:23.060 --> 0:35:24.100 You know what? That is the truth. 0:35:24.160 --> 0:35:25.480 Yeah, but if you give me a playbook, that's why 0:35:25.500 --> 0:35:27.360 I was such a good student, I think. Because I 0:35:27.440 --> 0:35:31.460 knew what the curriculum was. I knew what the syllabus said. 0:35:31.500 --> 0:35:33.839 I was able to plan my stuff out. I was 0:35:33.890 --> 0:35:36.170 able to excel from that. Yeah, I could have essentially 0:35:36.210 --> 0:35:38.330 been like a professional lifetime student. 0:35:38.350 --> 0:35:40.090 If somebody had paid me to be a student lifetime, 0:35:40.170 --> 0:35:41.489 I would have been great at that. 0:35:41.910 --> 0:35:42.569 Some people do that. 0:35:42.590 --> 0:35:44.670 Some people do that. Yeah, just keep getting degrees because... 0:35:45.130 --> 0:35:46.670 Give them something to do. That's what they do. 0:35:46.670 --> 0:35:48.509 They like the structure. And the thing is, I don't 0:35:48.550 --> 0:35:48.930 mind that. 0:35:48.969 --> 0:35:50.759 I just feel like when you're a parent and you 0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:53.319 have children, you have to figure out the best thing. 0:35:53.760 --> 0:35:55.980 All of our kids don't go to the same school. Like, 0:35:56.000 --> 0:35:57.339 they're going to be moving to different places. 0:35:57.360 --> 0:35:58.759 Remember when we first got there, they all went to 0:35:58.800 --> 0:36:00.420 different schools for different learning styles. 0:36:00.540 --> 0:36:00.719 Right. 0:36:00.980 --> 0:36:02.970 And I'm seeing the value in that now. But there 0:36:02.989 --> 0:36:06.750 was a question Josh asked me about competition. And he 0:36:06.790 --> 0:36:09.810 was like, well, that seemed like a them problem. Remember 0:36:09.830 --> 0:36:11.190 when I said, you know, you go places and you 0:36:11.210 --> 0:36:12.529 want to compete or you want to do things and 0:36:12.550 --> 0:36:17.319 people have issues? You would be surprised, Josh, because your 0:36:17.340 --> 0:36:21.050 daughter doesn't play sports. When it comes to sports and 0:36:21.090 --> 0:36:23.359 you have a child who excels in the sport, not 0:36:23.410 --> 0:36:25.950 because he's super gifted, but because he. 0:36:25.910 --> 0:36:28.730 Practices the sport more and more and more, and then. 0:36:28.670 --> 0:36:31.750 The child starts to excel, you start to see parents 0:36:31.969 --> 0:36:34.610 ask questions like, so is this person going to be 0:36:34.650 --> 0:36:36.710 the only person that gets the ball? Or is this 0:36:36.770 --> 0:36:38.670 person going to be the only person that's like, well, 0:36:38.690 --> 0:36:41.089 this is the only person that practiced every day this week. 0:36:41.170 --> 0:36:45.550 While your child wasn't here... My son came to everything. 0:36:45.890 --> 0:36:48.469 And then it becomes a rift between parents because it's 0:36:48.489 --> 0:36:50.969 like you expect to get the same exposure and the 0:36:51.010 --> 0:36:53.799 same opportunities as my child when my child came here 0:36:54.200 --> 0:36:57.239 during the winter break when you were on vacation. And 0:36:57.260 --> 0:36:59.319 then the parents say things like, well, if I'm going 0:36:59.340 --> 0:37:00.520 on vacation, I need my vacation. 0:37:00.580 --> 0:37:02.180 My child's going to come. They're not going to stay back. 0:37:02.200 --> 0:37:02.780 That's okay. 0:37:03.100 --> 0:37:05.739 And that's my thing. It's fine. But don't try to 0:37:05.760 --> 0:37:05.960 take away. 0:37:05.980 --> 0:37:06.799 That don't translate over here. 0:37:06.820 --> 0:37:07.300 Right. 0:37:07.320 --> 0:37:10.080 But they take opportunities away from kids like that. They do. 0:37:10.200 --> 0:37:14.020 Everything has to be fair. That's why there's no mvps 0:37:14.080 --> 0:37:18.340 anymore there's no first place ribbons anymore so everybody played 0:37:18.550 --> 0:37:20.870 he averaged 30 points and there's no mvp. 0:37:21.290 --> 0:37:23.310 That's why kobe said he's not passing the ball because 0:37:23.330 --> 0:37:25.230 because you ain't work for it yeah. 0:37:25.150 --> 0:37:28.149 Yeah that's and essentially team sports become like a self 0:37:28.190 --> 0:37:31.009 thing yes unfortunately. 0:37:31.010 --> 0:37:33.870 And if you're a competitor like me look i tell 0:37:33.890 --> 0:37:37.470 my sons you have you have options you can play 0:37:37.489 --> 0:37:40.260 whatever sport you want to play but the discipline required 0:37:40.300 --> 0:37:42.160 to play that sport It's going to be you doing 0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:45.770 something every day. It's 1% better every day. I go 0:37:45.790 --> 0:37:49.750 to the athletic director and I'm talking about getting court time. 0:37:50.690 --> 0:37:52.029 You expect to get court time every day? 0:37:53.150 --> 0:37:56.640 Yes. We pay tuition, a high tuition to go to 0:37:56.700 --> 0:37:58.520 school here. It's available. 0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:01.960 I want the court time. That became a problem. We 0:38:01.980 --> 0:38:04.200 hadn't won a lot of games because people weren't committed 0:38:04.219 --> 0:38:07.480 to the program. So I'm voicing my opinion at the games. 0:38:07.560 --> 0:38:10.739 The question was said to me, Deval, you expect to 0:38:10.780 --> 0:38:11.490 win every game? 0:38:12.790 --> 0:38:15.850 I expect to try to compete. You see your response? 0:38:15.890 --> 0:38:17.650 I don't want to play to lose. 0:38:17.670 --> 0:38:19.969 You play to win the game. 0:38:21.070 --> 0:38:21.610 Playoffs. 0:38:21.650 --> 0:38:23.509 You'll be surprised at stuff you hear when you get 0:38:23.530 --> 0:38:26.029 to competitive environments, especially in middle school. 0:38:26.390 --> 0:38:28.969 Because middle school is where it changed. Elementary school is 0:38:29.070 --> 0:38:33.640 everybody's playing and having fun. Middle school, especially for basketball, 0:38:33.880 --> 0:38:34.680 the ball changes. 0:38:35.360 --> 0:38:38.500 In football, people get physically bigger. So for me, this 0:38:38.560 --> 0:38:41.040 is more serious. Not about the NBA or the NFL, 0:38:41.060 --> 0:38:42.640 but this is serious. Like people are competing. 0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:45.140 You going into high school, you want to learn about, 0:38:45.300 --> 0:38:47.919 you know, how to compete and stuff. And the more, 0:38:47.940 --> 0:38:50.020 I don't want to say pressure, but the more emphasis 0:38:50.120 --> 0:38:52.500 I put on those kids who were in that group 0:38:52.540 --> 0:38:54.340 where I was coaching, the parents had issues. 0:38:54.840 --> 0:38:55.720 Not even the kids. 0:39:00.290 --> 0:39:02.250 Now who would ring the bell? I know that's not Kwame. 0:39:02.469 --> 0:39:02.689 Kwame. 0:39:03.250 --> 0:39:05.049 Why would you not use the side door? It's not common. 0:39:05.070 --> 0:39:05.629 It's not common? 0:39:08.200 --> 0:39:11.160 What was it, Spill? Is it the pool? 0:39:11.239 --> 0:39:11.600 I don't know. 0:39:11.700 --> 0:39:13.680 Just say it real quick. It's a white dude. I 0:39:13.719 --> 0:39:14.420 don't know who it is. 0:39:14.900 --> 0:39:15.779 I don't know who this is. 0:39:17.100 --> 0:39:19.759 You want to hit the button to talk? Unless you 0:39:19.780 --> 0:39:20.219 want to run out. 0:39:21.910 --> 0:39:22.339 How you doing? 0:39:22.360 --> 0:39:22.910 Can I help you? 0:39:25.030 --> 0:39:25.390 Yes, sir. 0:39:25.410 --> 0:39:27.530 Somebody's here at the door. 0:39:27.610 --> 0:39:28.700 I'm here with Goodwood Pools. 0:39:28.760 --> 0:39:30.700 I'm here to take a look at what's going on 0:39:30.760 --> 0:39:31.380 with the spa. 0:39:32.280 --> 0:39:32.640 Perfect. 0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:33.100 Okay. 0:39:38.480 --> 0:39:38.900 Oh, mom is here. 0:39:38.940 --> 0:39:39.390 Mom got it. 0:39:39.400 --> 0:39:39.640 All right. 0:39:40.340 --> 0:39:40.799 Where was I at? 0:39:40.820 --> 0:39:43.040 I don't know. 0:39:43.060 --> 0:39:44.380 She's going to have to have it. She's going to 0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:49.120 take a look at it. Oh, yes. 0:39:49.140 --> 0:39:49.440 Yes, sir. 0:39:51.680 --> 0:39:55.000 Then I started to realize some of the things that happen, right? 0:39:56.760 --> 0:39:58.259 You pay to go to a private school. 0:39:58.840 --> 0:40:00.100 It's expensive, right? 0:40:01.450 --> 0:40:04.270 Everybody there expects all the kids to get the same opportunities. 0:40:05.230 --> 0:40:07.029 But then there's one or two or three kids who 0:40:07.070 --> 0:40:07.890 come in and they just. 0:40:08.170 --> 0:40:10.670 They work, work, work. So they get all the opportunities. 0:40:11.350 --> 0:40:13.630 I watched parents get upset that the kids who put 0:40:13.670 --> 0:40:15.279 in more work got more opportunities. 0:40:15.860 --> 0:40:18.219 And the things that were said were, well, I pay 0:40:18.239 --> 0:40:19.420 tuition to go to school here too. 0:40:20.320 --> 0:40:23.600 And it's entitlement. It's all entitlement. But the bottom line is, 0:40:23.680 --> 0:40:25.580 as a parent, you start to realize, I don't want 0:40:25.620 --> 0:40:27.779 to put my child in an environment where they're going 0:40:27.800 --> 0:40:29.319 to have to deal with other parents. 0:40:29.400 --> 0:40:31.160 Who want the bar to be so low that their 0:40:31.180 --> 0:40:33.239 kids get to compete too. 0:40:33.380 --> 0:40:35.480 I want to put my child in a position where 0:40:35.860 --> 0:40:39.359 the bar is so high for everybody that they have 0:40:39.380 --> 0:40:42.640 to go outside of what they normally do to be great. 0:40:42.950 --> 0:40:44.629 Because it's not just middle school and it's not just 0:40:44.650 --> 0:40:46.830 high school. We have kids too that are working towards 0:40:46.870 --> 0:40:52.129 and know the possibility to have College offers, scholarships, you know, 0:40:52.150 --> 0:40:54.270 like they can have the potential to go beyond what 0:40:54.350 --> 0:40:56.570 people think is just, oh, it's just middle school ball, 0:40:57.010 --> 0:40:59.970 you know, or middle school sports. But it's bigger than that. 0:41:00.090 --> 0:41:03.620 No, that's a real good point. There's another conversation I had. 0:41:03.780 --> 0:41:06.560 I asked him, I said, you came for money? The 0:41:06.620 --> 0:41:07.719 athletic director asked him. 0:41:07.739 --> 0:41:09.280 He was just like, yeah. 0:41:09.719 --> 0:41:12.759 And I said, well, I didn't. The families that I 0:41:12.820 --> 0:41:15.790 help train and help mentor the boys, they don't. So 0:41:15.830 --> 0:41:17.589 when it comes time to compete and stuff like that, 0:41:17.630 --> 0:41:20.489 they're looking at this as a lifestyle change. They could 0:41:20.530 --> 0:41:24.049 change the trajectory of their life by being really good 0:41:24.070 --> 0:41:27.980 at this sport, whether it's swimming, golf, basketball, football, even academics. 0:41:28.500 --> 0:41:29.860 But they have to be in a place where they 0:41:29.880 --> 0:41:33.080 can compete with the nation. Because even if you're good 0:41:33.100 --> 0:41:35.560 at your school, that don't mean you qualify for a scholarship. 0:41:36.500 --> 0:41:37.080 And he was like. 0:41:37.100 --> 0:41:40.610 And I said, what did you just want, like a 0:41:40.650 --> 0:41:42.790 country club here? And he honestly said to me, say 0:41:42.810 --> 0:41:43.630 a lot of the parents do. 0:41:44.350 --> 0:41:46.290 Yeah, they just want their kids to just do the activity. 0:41:47.050 --> 0:41:49.350 And this is where we talk about sometimes you look 0:41:49.370 --> 0:41:52.450 for upward mobility. You put yourselves in spaces because you 0:41:52.489 --> 0:41:54.310 think if I spend money for school, it's just going 0:41:54.330 --> 0:41:56.010 to be a better opportunity for my child. 0:41:56.530 --> 0:41:58.290 And we're learning now that that's not the case. 0:41:58.330 --> 0:42:00.989 We have a number of friends who are removing their 0:42:01.030 --> 0:42:04.069 kids from private schools and going to local public schools. 0:42:04.090 --> 0:42:06.660 Yeah, just to try it out and see what's different 0:42:06.739 --> 0:42:07.840 and saving their money in the process. 0:42:07.910 --> 0:42:08.440 Absolutely. 0:42:08.739 --> 0:42:09.520 And getting more opportunities. 0:42:09.540 --> 0:42:11.580 That is crazy and interesting to think of because in 0:42:11.660 --> 0:42:16.759 my mind, the... You know, Victoria's going to middle school 0:42:16.950 --> 0:42:19.880 this year. And it was so important for us to 0:42:19.900 --> 0:42:22.459 get her in the right school because the last school 0:42:22.480 --> 0:42:24.359 she had, I don't feel like she was challenged enough. 0:42:25.100 --> 0:42:25.299 Right? 0:42:25.320 --> 0:42:28.759 Like, I feel like in my mind, it was like, 0:42:28.920 --> 0:42:30.529 she got to get to private school. She got to 0:42:30.550 --> 0:42:31.830 get to private school. And if she doesn't get to 0:42:31.850 --> 0:42:35.490 private school, get to another school that at least challenges 0:42:35.550 --> 0:42:37.870 her in the way that a private school might do 0:42:37.910 --> 0:42:38.570 it similarly. 0:42:38.590 --> 0:42:39.550 Absolutely. 0:42:39.610 --> 0:42:41.710 In a way. But to hear that you guys are 0:42:41.730 --> 0:42:44.380 having that same issue And private school is flabbergasted. 0:42:44.400 --> 0:42:47.060 Yeah, private school does not mean more challenging either. 0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:47.620 It doesn't. 0:42:47.940 --> 0:42:48.340 It doesn't. 0:42:48.840 --> 0:42:51.000 Sometimes, if anything, it's way. 0:42:50.860 --> 0:42:55.910 Too lax because, again, the bar is here. Oh, you're 0:42:56.010 --> 0:42:58.549 at grade level. Oh, you're not below grade level. Oh, 0:42:58.570 --> 0:42:59.730 you're at state standard. 0:42:59.750 --> 0:42:59.810 We. 0:43:01.930 --> 0:43:03.489 Teach our kids to be above. 0:43:03.910 --> 0:43:04.589 She don't play that. 0:43:04.750 --> 0:43:05.529 And I don't play that. 0:43:05.790 --> 0:43:08.589 So you already know I'm here at home now supplementing 0:43:08.890 --> 0:43:11.520 and I'm not at all putting it off on schools 0:43:11.620 --> 0:43:12.680 or putting it off on teachers. 0:43:12.700 --> 0:43:14.840 Like it's solely their responsibility. 0:43:14.219 --> 0:43:17.840 Because I do believe that schools and parents and teachers, 0:43:17.920 --> 0:43:20.100 it's a partnership. Like we need to be working in 0:43:20.140 --> 0:43:22.200 tandem with each other to make sure that our children 0:43:22.280 --> 0:43:27.330 are excelling. But when the overarching, you know, standard is 0:43:27.350 --> 0:43:29.110 just kind of like, well, they're doing good enough. 0:43:30.440 --> 0:43:32.440 That's just not enough for us. It's a problem. 0:43:32.500 --> 0:43:34.500 So we are the ones that are the parents that 0:43:34.520 --> 0:43:36.299 are at home with our children and we're doing the 0:43:36.360 --> 0:43:39.330 extra work and we're doing the summer workbooks and we're reading. 0:43:39.390 --> 0:43:42.109 Like at this point now with Cass, for example, he's 0:43:42.150 --> 0:43:44.029 not as confident with reading. He wasn't for a while. 0:43:44.050 --> 0:43:46.450 He's getting way more confident now. But he sits with 0:43:46.469 --> 0:43:48.169 Deval to the point now where he comes to Deval 0:43:48.210 --> 0:43:50.950 and said, Dad, let's do my reading today. Dakota is 0:43:50.989 --> 0:43:54.029 sitting with me reading books that are like middle of 0:43:54.310 --> 0:43:54.810 grade one. 0:43:55.360 --> 0:43:58.180 He's four. grade one level, like reading and comprehending. 0:43:58.200 --> 0:43:58.899 They're just different kids. 0:43:58.920 --> 0:44:01.029 They're all just different kids and they just learn differently. 0:44:01.050 --> 0:44:03.110 But we're realizing that as parents. And it's been a 0:44:03.150 --> 0:44:06.310 blessing to have been home more, like being purposeful about 0:44:06.330 --> 0:44:08.830 being home more and not having to take every bag 0:44:08.870 --> 0:44:11.569 and take every job because we can really lock in. 0:44:11.750 --> 0:44:13.529 But I'm going to go back to something you said, too, 0:44:13.910 --> 0:44:15.239 that we recognize with Kaz. 0:44:15.260 --> 0:44:16.360 Kaz was a COVID baby. 0:44:17.280 --> 0:44:19.880 And remember you said most kids, they struggle, they don't 0:44:19.900 --> 0:44:22.540 have common sense because they don't go outside. 0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:22.680 Mm-hmm. 0:44:23.110 --> 0:44:27.650 When Kaz was born in 2017, his high developmental years, 0:44:28.130 --> 0:44:30.290 three to five, we were in COVID. 0:44:30.410 --> 0:44:33.230 We were locked down. We weren't taking him to the store. 0:44:33.370 --> 0:44:35.430 We didn't go camping. We weren't getting on planes. 0:44:35.489 --> 0:44:38.160 He spent like those two and a half years sitting 0:44:38.200 --> 0:44:41.010 in the house, most of the time on iPads, trying 0:44:41.030 --> 0:44:42.800 to figure out what was going to happen next. So 0:44:43.180 --> 0:44:44.859 we were going to read a book. We were going 0:44:44.880 --> 0:44:46.799 to read his book. And in the book, there was 0:44:46.840 --> 0:44:48.400 a word that came up and he just read right 0:44:48.420 --> 0:44:49.779 past the word. And he was just like, mom and 0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:51.719 dad went for the newspaper and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. 0:44:52.390 --> 0:44:53.820 And he read it and he just kept reading it. 0:44:53.850 --> 0:44:55.430 He wasn't understanding. And I said, do you know what 0:44:55.450 --> 0:44:56.190 a newspaper is? 0:44:56.770 --> 0:44:59.290 And he said, no. And I said, this ain't your fault. 0:45:00.210 --> 0:45:02.450 I can't be upset at you because you can recognize 0:45:02.469 --> 0:45:04.549 the word, read it and pronounce it properly, but don't 0:45:04.610 --> 0:45:07.719 understand the context behind a newspaper. So then I said 0:45:07.739 --> 0:45:09.880 to him, I said, a newspaper is what mom and 0:45:09.900 --> 0:45:10.819 dad used to use. 0:45:10.719 --> 0:45:11.700 Before we had iPads. 0:45:11.739 --> 0:45:12.259 It was a paper. 0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:14.120 He said, oh, so it was like a book. I said, yeah, 0:45:14.140 --> 0:45:16.440 but it has the news. So then he goes immediately. 0:45:16.460 --> 0:45:18.570 I said, oh, so when they looked over the newspaper, 0:45:18.620 --> 0:45:22.230 it was and I said, just that simple thing. of 0:45:22.290 --> 0:45:24.830 him not understanding the context of the newspaper is what 0:45:24.870 --> 0:45:27.250 a lot of young people are dealing with now in schools. 0:45:27.730 --> 0:45:29.350 If you're in a place where they don't know your history, 0:45:29.370 --> 0:45:30.850 they don't know your backstory, they don't know if you're 0:45:30.870 --> 0:45:32.520 a COVID baby, they don't know where you come from, 0:45:32.580 --> 0:45:35.200 if you've never been camping or been canoeing, they give 0:45:35.239 --> 0:45:38.020 you a test. And on the test, it talks about 0:45:38.060 --> 0:45:40.140 something that you've never done in your life. And if 0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:42.640 you can't answer the question because you've never been canoeing, 0:45:42.940 --> 0:45:43.620 they just say that. 0:45:43.550 --> 0:45:45.450 You're dumb and they put you on the side. 0:45:45.890 --> 0:45:48.830 And I'm realizing now we have to be more cognizant 0:45:48.870 --> 0:45:52.500 as parents to understand that every school isn't going to 0:45:52.540 --> 0:45:55.180 teach our son or daughter the way they need to 0:45:55.219 --> 0:45:57.340 be in order to be successful. And rather than jumping 0:45:57.400 --> 0:46:00.160 on our kids, like I did plenty of times and saying, 0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:02.089 you can't get it. We have to take a step 0:46:02.130 --> 0:46:05.109 back and realize is my child in an environment where 0:46:05.130 --> 0:46:08.750 they can thrive. Because in New York, when I was 0:46:08.770 --> 0:46:11.799 mentoring kids, I've, Mentored and coached kids that went from 0:46:11.880 --> 0:46:16.120 District 75 to regular public schools, to specialized public schools 0:46:16.140 --> 0:46:20.049 like a Brooklyn Tech, to a private school, a charter 0:46:20.070 --> 0:46:23.010 school like Success Academy, to then to a private school. 0:46:23.469 --> 0:46:25.890 And I've watched all different kids struggle. 0:46:25.550 --> 0:46:28.509 At all levels. And I've watched parents at all different levels. 0:46:28.550 --> 0:46:30.430 We had a parent that was at a District 75 school. 0:46:31.910 --> 0:46:33.750 Took their child out and just put some focus. And 0:46:33.770 --> 0:46:36.690 then that child ended up graduating with honors. 0:46:37.090 --> 0:46:39.590 We know someone that pulled their child from the school 0:46:40.010 --> 0:46:43.810 and realized, oh, goodness, he has dyslexia. So they homeschooled 0:46:43.830 --> 0:46:46.930 him for two years, got him special tutors, special instruction. 0:46:47.050 --> 0:46:50.270 And now he's like flourishing. But that wouldn't have been 0:46:50.290 --> 0:46:52.730 discovered if he was just one of 30 kids in 0:46:52.770 --> 0:46:55.029 a classroom trying to learn. It's like this kid just 0:46:55.050 --> 0:46:57.109 can't learn or this kid is just failing all the time. 0:46:57.510 --> 0:46:59.609 And I kind of understand more of the concept now 0:46:59.770 --> 0:47:02.500 of homeschooling. You know, if a lot more people, a 0:47:02.540 --> 0:47:05.200 lot more of us are homeschooling our children because we're 0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:07.580 able to curate the curriculum, but you're also able to 0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:11.080 individualize the time and the space and the method per 0:47:11.180 --> 0:47:14.100 child to see what is going to be needed for 0:47:14.160 --> 0:47:15.960 them to be able to learn and to be able 0:47:15.980 --> 0:47:19.660 to absorb information. We're also teaching kids not what to think, 0:47:19.700 --> 0:47:22.610 but how to think, asking the critical questions. That's important 0:47:22.630 --> 0:47:24.509 in any school environment. You don't want a school that's 0:47:24.810 --> 0:47:28.190 teaching your children what to think. They have to be 0:47:28.330 --> 0:47:33.379 able to develop discernment. Yeah, problem-solving skills, thinking critically. Those 0:47:33.420 --> 0:47:35.700 are things that you want to see in any kind 0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:36.840 of learning environment. 0:47:37.000 --> 0:47:37.219 Yeah. 0:47:39.920 --> 0:47:41.760 Now, stick your hand in the beehive. 0:47:41.780 --> 0:47:44.069 Just know it's going to hurt. Use context to know 0:47:44.090 --> 0:47:44.710 it's going to hurt. 0:47:44.730 --> 0:47:45.210 There you go. 0:47:45.250 --> 0:47:47.029 And then you learn problem-solving after that. What do we 0:47:47.070 --> 0:47:49.530 do when we get stuck in the beehive? 0:47:49.550 --> 0:47:53.550 Do you think we could ever full-time homeschool any of 0:47:53.630 --> 0:47:53.989 our boys? 0:47:55.210 --> 0:47:57.250 I would love to, to be honest. I think we 0:47:57.270 --> 0:47:59.489 could do it if we curated them. like some sort 0:47:59.510 --> 0:48:00.370 of assistance with that. 0:48:00.410 --> 0:48:04.010 Like if we had, say, instead of paying for school, 0:48:04.330 --> 0:48:07.710 we were paying a person to assist with homeschooling. I 0:48:07.750 --> 0:48:11.340 think it would be effective. I think it would be. 0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:13.680 That's the thing. 0:48:13.300 --> 0:48:15.680 You said, though. You said paying someone else. 0:48:16.360 --> 0:48:18.020 I feel like to work in conjunction with I wouldn't 0:48:18.040 --> 0:48:19.719 just put it off on that person, but just to 0:48:19.760 --> 0:48:21.299 help because we have four of them to make sure 0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:24.279 that everyone's getting their undivided attention. I think we would 0:48:24.320 --> 0:48:26.319 need like an additional person, but not to say put 0:48:26.340 --> 0:48:27.400 it off on that one person. 0:48:28.010 --> 0:48:31.250 See, I'm not big on homeschool only because, and maybe 0:48:31.270 --> 0:48:33.690 this is just my perspective because of how my kids are, 0:48:34.170 --> 0:48:36.090 I feel like my boys need to hear another voice 0:48:36.219 --> 0:48:38.140 once in a while. Because once they go out in 0:48:38.160 --> 0:48:39.859 the world, they're not always going to work for dad. 0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:41.739 They're not always going to work with dad. Like, once 0:48:41.760 --> 0:48:42.960 they get used to hearing. 0:48:42.719 --> 0:48:45.400 How I solve problems and how I, that becomes how 0:48:45.440 --> 0:48:45.880 they do it. 0:48:45.940 --> 0:48:46.279 That's true. 0:48:46.340 --> 0:48:48.900 It could be very one-sided or two-sided depending on if 0:48:48.980 --> 0:48:49.879 it's two parents in the household. 0:48:49.900 --> 0:48:51.850 And that's why I like, like public schools in a 0:48:51.890 --> 0:48:53.590 way where they get to go to a different teacher 0:48:53.610 --> 0:48:55.930 for a different subject. Because now you hear to think 0:48:55.969 --> 0:48:58.730 how each, you hear how each person critically thinks about 0:48:58.750 --> 0:49:00.900 that subject. So you can take a little bit from 0:49:00.960 --> 0:49:03.299 each person. That's just my thought process. I do the 0:49:03.340 --> 0:49:03.819 same thing in. 0:49:03.800 --> 0:49:04.799 Sports, right? 0:49:04.820 --> 0:49:06.700 Like I don't want, no, I'm not, I'm not coach dad. 0:49:06.840 --> 0:49:08.779 I don't want to coach my kids in every sport. 0:49:08.860 --> 0:49:09.980 I want them to hear from someone else. 0:49:10.180 --> 0:49:10.399 Right. 0:49:10.420 --> 0:49:12.340 So that you can get a different POV because I 0:49:12.360 --> 0:49:15.950 feel like one POV just shrinks your mind. 0:49:16.170 --> 0:49:16.549 For sure. 0:49:16.770 --> 0:49:18.630 And you need other people. You need to expand a 0:49:18.630 --> 0:49:19.009 little bit. 0:49:19.050 --> 0:49:19.590 So homeschooling. 0:49:20.170 --> 0:49:20.330 Works. 0:49:20.350 --> 0:49:21.780 You're going to have to be dealing with other people. 0:49:21.820 --> 0:49:23.779 I think part of me is just selfish. I love 0:49:23.820 --> 0:49:25.560 my kids at home. I love my kids with me. 0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:29.160 I think, you know, to become a parent is to 0:49:29.780 --> 0:49:32.500 spark a constant state of worry. And I just like 0:49:32.540 --> 0:49:34.140 when my kids are with me. And I feel like 0:49:34.180 --> 0:49:37.570 we can do more in a, say, three-hour time frame 0:49:37.650 --> 0:49:39.109 and then use the rest of the day. 0:49:39.690 --> 0:49:40.930 To do things together. 0:49:40.950 --> 0:49:43.069 It would give us more flexibility if we wanted to 0:49:43.110 --> 0:49:46.250 just travel, do different things. I think there's definitely perks, 0:49:46.469 --> 0:49:49.589 of course, to homeschooling. So I understand why some people 0:49:49.650 --> 0:49:53.110 do it. But, you know, it's just an individualized basis 0:49:53.150 --> 0:49:54.150 depending on each family. 0:49:54.670 --> 0:49:58.569 Me and Josh were talking, too, about his daughter going 0:49:58.610 --> 0:50:01.270 to middle school. And we were talking about the fears 0:50:01.690 --> 0:50:04.500 of just sending your child to school. Yeah. I don't 0:50:04.540 --> 0:50:06.770 think there's a way to avoid fears. I don't care 0:50:06.790 --> 0:50:08.290 if you have a boy or a girl. I don't 0:50:08.330 --> 0:50:10.430 care if they're going to a private school, a public school. 0:50:10.550 --> 0:50:10.770 True. 0:50:10.950 --> 0:50:12.930 Every time one of my kids is getting ready to 0:50:12.989 --> 0:50:14.129 leave to go to school in the morning. 0:50:14.660 --> 0:50:17.120 In my mind, the worst-case scenarios go through, and I'm 0:50:17.160 --> 0:50:19.279 constantly reminding and checking to make sure nobody do this, 0:50:19.320 --> 0:50:20.120 make sure nobody do that. 0:50:20.160 --> 0:50:23.480 And it's like, as a parent, that anxiety is never 0:50:23.520 --> 0:50:24.080 going to leave. 0:50:24.140 --> 0:50:24.739 That's a fact. 0:50:24.780 --> 0:50:26.600 Passing that anxiety off to the kids in the morning. 0:50:27.050 --> 0:50:30.189 Make sure nobody touch you. If somebody touch you, don't 0:50:30.210 --> 0:50:30.589 do it. 0:50:30.610 --> 0:50:33.070 My mom used to be like, and don't let anybody 0:50:33.110 --> 0:50:35.230 touch you here because then we'll just have lice. 0:50:35.370 --> 0:50:36.730 And you don't want to get lice. 0:50:36.810 --> 0:50:38.810 And I'm like, okay, mom. 0:50:38.830 --> 0:50:41.260 So I used to walk around like, you know like 0:50:41.410 --> 0:50:43.839 looking at people's head like oh my god is this 0:50:43.900 --> 0:50:46.520 life my thing is I just pray over my children 0:50:46.540 --> 0:50:48.859 when they walk through the door you know when they're 0:50:48.880 --> 0:50:50.540 getting in the car when they're getting out the car 0:50:50.560 --> 0:50:53.100 that's the most you can do baby I just be praying. 0:50:52.940 --> 0:50:54.200 For my kids my mom used to be like if 0:50:54.239 --> 0:50:56.379 you let somebody touch your hair I'm gonna beat your 0:50:56.680 --> 0:51:00.620 ass that's yeah I had to fight that's the first 0:51:00.660 --> 0:51:02.300 fight I got into at school I had to fight 0:51:02.320 --> 0:51:04.220 because this girl was touching my hair yeah. 0:51:04.060 --> 0:51:05.620 You need to fight and I ain't trying to get 0:51:05.640 --> 0:51:06.360 no beat. 0:51:06.219 --> 0:51:08.700 Hell no I'm gonna either beat your ass or I'm. 0:51:08.560 --> 0:51:11.480 Gonna get my ass beat for real That was my grandmother, too, 0:51:11.520 --> 0:51:16.120 with my sister Tori. My grandmother, she old school southern black. 0:51:16.440 --> 0:51:20.370 She used to comb my sister's hair every morning, hot 0:51:20.390 --> 0:51:20.950 comb it to. 0:51:20.910 --> 0:51:23.740 Make sure that it was clean. straight, put the grease 0:51:23.820 --> 0:51:25.980 in it, put the barrettes in it, we would go 0:51:26.060 --> 0:51:27.440 out to eat, right? And people are like, her hair 0:51:27.460 --> 0:51:29.060 is so beautiful. My grandmother would be like, how it's 0:51:29.080 --> 0:51:33.620 supposed to look? They'd be going like this. My grandmother 0:51:33.640 --> 0:51:35.430 would be like, you touch that baby hair, you're going 0:51:35.469 --> 0:51:40.410 to draw back a nub. I'm cutting your hair off. 0:51:40.989 --> 0:51:44.750 My grandmother didn't play with touching my sister's hair, bro. 0:51:44.770 --> 0:51:45.890 That's how I learned how to braid. 0:51:45.910 --> 0:51:48.549 Because if my sister ever went out that house and 0:51:48.570 --> 0:51:49.670 she didn't look appropriate. 0:51:49.710 --> 0:51:50.410 It was my fault. 0:51:51.030 --> 0:51:51.930 That's crazy. 0:51:52.190 --> 0:51:54.570 And when you think about it, this is another thing, too. 0:51:54.590 --> 0:51:58.430 We should have discussed the whole bonnet situation at Tuskegee. 0:51:59.010 --> 0:52:00.670 You know, thinking about sending your kids to school, it 0:52:00.710 --> 0:52:02.860 doesn't only just go up until high school when it 0:52:02.880 --> 0:52:06.000 goes to college. We used to I remember we went 0:52:06.040 --> 0:52:08.660 to PWI and I remember saying to myself when I 0:52:08.700 --> 0:52:10.900 was 18, I think I should go to PWI so 0:52:10.940 --> 0:52:12.640 I can learn how to live amongst white people. 0:52:12.700 --> 0:52:13.900 And what's PWI again? 0:52:14.000 --> 0:52:15.140 Primarily White Institute. 0:52:16.050 --> 0:52:16.670 You knew what that was? 0:52:16.690 --> 0:52:19.810 Yeah, I did. I went to PWI too. All right. 0:52:19.830 --> 0:52:21.650 So I was of that mindset at first. 0:52:22.469 --> 0:52:25.589 And then I started doing research on HBCUs and learning 0:52:25.630 --> 0:52:26.390 about my own history. 0:52:26.410 --> 0:52:28.270 When you went to college? We're going to college? 0:52:28.330 --> 0:52:29.170 No, this is after. 0:52:30.290 --> 0:52:32.310 Going to Hofstra to me was like the best opportunity 0:52:32.330 --> 0:52:33.640 for me because I felt like I have to learn. 0:52:33.719 --> 0:52:36.680 If corporate America is predominantly white, I need to learn 0:52:36.700 --> 0:52:39.000 how to live amongst that culture or exist and learn 0:52:39.020 --> 0:52:39.560 from that culture. 0:52:39.580 --> 0:52:40.900 And I felt like that's the only way you can 0:52:40.920 --> 0:52:42.380 do it. You know, you get indoctrinated with that. 0:52:43.380 --> 0:52:45.520 And I felt like if I was going to an HBCU, 0:52:45.560 --> 0:52:48.480 I wouldn't know how to adapt to those environments. Then 0:52:48.520 --> 0:52:51.500 you get older and you meet people who've gone from HBCUs. 0:52:51.520 --> 0:52:53.259 They're like, no, that's what they talk to you about 0:52:53.300 --> 0:52:56.270 at an HBCU. They teach you how to navigate those situations. 0:52:56.350 --> 0:52:58.750 And I was like, dang, I wish I would have 0:52:58.810 --> 0:53:02.549 known that before I made my decisions. And then there's 0:53:02.570 --> 0:53:05.770 all this rhetoric going on about Tuskegee and them banning 0:53:05.790 --> 0:53:06.930 do-rags and bonnets. 0:53:07.700 --> 0:53:11.509 And they're saying it was because of respectability politics. But 0:53:11.550 --> 0:53:13.399 I'm thinking also, you know how we talked about being 0:53:13.440 --> 0:53:15.660 washed in one of the after shows? I feel like 0:53:15.700 --> 0:53:17.879 the young people feel like the older people are just 0:53:17.980 --> 0:53:19.399 washed with our ideologies. 0:53:19.719 --> 0:53:21.560 Because growing up, when I was growing up, if I 0:53:21.580 --> 0:53:23.469 stepped out of my house in a do-rag, my mother 0:53:23.489 --> 0:53:27.390 would snatch me up. Like she was just, and it 0:53:27.450 --> 0:53:29.750 didn't matter if I was going for a job interview. 0:53:29.770 --> 0:53:30.690 It had nothing to do with that. 0:53:30.850 --> 0:53:32.160 You leaving the house, period. 0:53:32.180 --> 0:53:32.379 Right. 0:53:33.060 --> 0:53:34.859 And I think those are the changes. What do y'all think? 0:53:35.210 --> 0:53:39.210 Yeah, I would have never gone to class in pajamas 0:53:39.530 --> 0:53:41.830 in college. And I used to see white people doing 0:53:41.850 --> 0:53:42.390 it all the time. 0:53:42.410 --> 0:53:44.950 Like, you dirty, nasty. 0:53:44.989 --> 0:53:47.910 Yeah, we couldn't. Like, my mother didn't play that. 0:53:48.070 --> 0:53:49.200 I see black people do it, so. 0:53:49.219 --> 0:53:52.060 Remember what we met? Like, I used to be dressed. 0:53:52.080 --> 0:53:54.560 She used to get dressed up for class every day. 0:53:54.580 --> 0:53:57.930 That on campus, too. Like, jeans, boots, like. my little 0:53:57.950 --> 0:54:00.810 guest shirts or whatever. That was a thing. Like we dressed. 0:54:00.950 --> 0:54:02.590 It wasn't a fashion show, but it was like a 0:54:02.610 --> 0:54:04.850 sense of pride that you took in yourself walking out 0:54:04.890 --> 0:54:05.750 the door that you want. 0:54:05.630 --> 0:54:06.089 To look good. 0:54:06.110 --> 0:54:08.029 For me, the only people who get a pass was 0:54:08.070 --> 0:54:10.700 the athletes. That was literally the only reason why I 0:54:10.700 --> 0:54:13.140 would wear sweats and flip-flops and be on the street 0:54:13.160 --> 0:54:13.719 and just be chilling. 0:54:13.739 --> 0:54:14.419 But do you know why? 0:54:14.920 --> 0:54:16.359 You leave practice like that. 0:54:16.540 --> 0:54:19.400 Yes, we weren't coming from dorms. I was going to 0:54:19.440 --> 0:54:20.780 class coming from a morning. 0:54:20.560 --> 0:54:22.960 Workout at 6.30. So whatever I had to wear coming 0:54:22.980 --> 0:54:25.160 from back there, I went to class. But you best 0:54:25.200 --> 0:54:26.860 believe if I came from my dorm and I had 0:54:26.880 --> 0:54:30.009 an afternoon class, I was dressed up, fitted white tee. 0:54:30.030 --> 0:54:31.069 I had a fitted hat, my. 0:54:31.030 --> 0:54:31.970 Chain on, my jeans. 0:54:31.989 --> 0:54:34.610 Like I wasn't just going to class in a do-right. 0:54:34.969 --> 0:54:37.190 But I will say that one of the most valuable 0:54:37.230 --> 0:54:40.930 lessons I learned at a PWI was one of my 0:54:41.450 --> 0:54:47.009 sorority sisters was in nursing school and she's from Cleveland. 0:54:47.239 --> 0:54:50.219 She hood, you know what I'm saying? She had every 0:54:50.239 --> 0:54:52.279 pair of Jordans. She had bullet holes in her car. 0:54:52.850 --> 0:54:56.189 And she also had the highest GPA in Ohio State's 0:54:56.290 --> 0:55:02.210 nursing program. And so the lesson, because when we we 0:55:02.250 --> 0:55:05.580 grow up in predominantly white spaces and institutions and then 0:55:05.600 --> 0:55:09.560 we go to college and we're told that our blackness, 0:55:09.820 --> 0:55:12.080 the way that we are black also means that we 0:55:12.140 --> 0:55:12.660 aren't smart. 0:55:12.680 --> 0:55:16.000 We're not good enough. We're second class. and that is 0:55:16.080 --> 0:55:16.840 not what matters. 0:55:16.900 --> 0:55:19.160 It shouldn't matter if I have on my bonnet, as 0:55:19.200 --> 0:55:22.760 long as I'm getting what needs to be done, done. So, 0:55:23.030 --> 0:55:24.630 and I feel like as black people, we have to 0:55:24.670 --> 0:55:28.190 accept that about ourselves first before we can accept anybody 0:55:28.270 --> 0:55:30.430 outside the culture to accept it about us as well. 0:55:30.910 --> 0:55:33.790 So I feel like now if they want to double 0:55:33.830 --> 0:55:39.160 down on academic, you know, stuff, like you can wear 0:55:39.200 --> 0:55:40.880 your bonnet to class, but you got to have a 3.5. Like, 0:55:42.239 --> 0:55:44.219 You know what I'm saying? As a professor, I see 0:55:44.239 --> 0:55:46.219 you with your bonnet in class and you know what 0:55:46.239 --> 0:55:48.290 I'm saying? You're doing great in this class. It's not, 0:55:48.310 --> 0:55:49.569 you know what I'm saying? 0:55:49.610 --> 0:55:50.250 It's not a problem. 0:55:50.890 --> 0:55:53.250 But I feel like we have to stop judging each 0:55:53.330 --> 0:55:57.410 other based on things that we do culturally. 0:55:57.430 --> 0:55:58.850 Right. 0:55:59.950 --> 0:56:02.029 Because we think that it makes us look like we're 0:56:02.090 --> 0:56:04.830 dumb or less than or because we think that we are. 0:56:04.850 --> 0:56:05.549 You know what I'm saying? 0:56:05.570 --> 0:56:07.770 We think if you're wearing your bonnet outside, you must 0:56:07.790 --> 0:56:08.719 be a fucking idiot. 0:56:08.739 --> 0:56:08.910 Yeah. 0:56:09.510 --> 0:56:10.370 I hear what you're saying. 0:56:10.390 --> 0:56:12.870 I'm wondering, what's the reason, too, for wearing the bonnet? 0:56:12.890 --> 0:56:14.549 For example, going to school. Is it that your hair 0:56:14.610 --> 0:56:16.020 is not done or you're trying to preserve it? 0:56:16.050 --> 0:56:16.730 Because in my. 0:56:16.630 --> 0:56:19.049 Mind, you get your hair done, it's to go to 0:56:19.090 --> 0:56:22.780 school and to look presentable and to feel good about yourself. 0:56:22.860 --> 0:56:24.560 And it's like you just wear the bonnet when you're 0:56:24.620 --> 0:56:26.060 in transit or your wig's not done. 0:56:26.100 --> 0:56:27.300 You might have a braid down. 0:56:27.460 --> 0:56:30.000 I wonder why it is. To be honest. 0:56:30.500 --> 0:56:32.760 I don't care for the look. I think it looks sloppy. 0:56:32.780 --> 0:56:35.700 That's my personal opinion. I don't care for it, right? 0:56:36.120 --> 0:56:37.839 I see somebody in the street wearing a bonnet or 0:56:37.880 --> 0:56:40.089 wearing pajamas. I don't really give them a second look 0:56:40.140 --> 0:56:42.080 because that's not really not my thing. But at the 0:56:42.100 --> 0:56:44.360 same time, I don't care. 0:56:44.900 --> 0:56:45.160 Yeah. 0:56:45.560 --> 0:56:48.859 What any other race thinks about me or mine. 0:56:49.320 --> 0:56:49.520 Right. 0:56:49.660 --> 0:56:50.580 I'm with you on that. 0:56:50.600 --> 0:56:53.779 I grew up too much with this, you know, you gotta, 0:56:53.820 --> 0:56:55.520 you don't do this. You know, our white people are 0:56:55.680 --> 0:56:56.380 going to look at you. 0:56:56.400 --> 0:56:56.820 That part. 0:56:56.860 --> 0:56:58.380 Right. But when you come to a realization. That was 0:56:58.400 --> 0:56:58.980 a sickness in our culture. 0:56:59.219 --> 0:56:59.419 Yep. 0:57:00.489 --> 0:57:02.590 You don't realize how I look at other races or 0:57:02.610 --> 0:57:04.770 other people. That also matters to me as well. I 0:57:04.790 --> 0:57:05.750 don't care what nobody thinks. 0:57:05.989 --> 0:57:06.710 Right. Right. 0:57:06.730 --> 0:57:11.469 So like, there's this, there's this, I guess, internal disagreement 0:57:11.489 --> 0:57:14.379 with myself. Like, you know, why do you care what 0:57:14.410 --> 0:57:16.800 other people wear? That's number one. Like, we're going in 0:57:16.820 --> 0:57:20.500 for education. But at the same time, you look crazy 0:57:21.040 --> 0:57:23.080 wearing pajamas to school. 0:57:23.100 --> 0:57:25.820 So it's more of a distraction, if anything. Yeah. 0:57:25.940 --> 0:57:27.880 I think the climate doesn't even... I mean, but here's 0:57:27.920 --> 0:57:31.300 the thing. Some people just don't have the clothes either. Yeah. Yeah. 0:57:31.700 --> 0:57:33.940 I feel like it is also important to me as well. 0:57:33.960 --> 0:57:35.600 Like if I want to wear sweats one day and 0:57:35.640 --> 0:57:37.800 like some flip flops, I may want to do that, too. 0:57:37.880 --> 0:57:39.860 I didn't even have sweats until the pandemic. 0:57:40.260 --> 0:57:41.700 I feel like a lot of it is a lot 0:57:41.740 --> 0:57:43.660 of it did come out of the pandemic because everybody's 0:57:43.680 --> 0:57:45.860 in the house all the time. So more people started 0:57:45.880 --> 0:57:48.420 wearing their bonnets and it became kind of a fashion thing. 0:57:48.820 --> 0:57:51.020 But I also feel like it's not just a distraction, 0:57:51.080 --> 0:57:54.770 but it also kind of speaks to how you prepare 0:57:54.930 --> 0:57:55.570 for your day. 0:57:55.750 --> 0:57:57.970 I know how serious you take. 0:57:58.690 --> 0:58:01.710 School like they always used to say like dress for 0:58:01.770 --> 0:58:05.570 success you know what i'm saying like um and you 0:58:05.910 --> 0:58:08.770 not taking the time or not yeah not taking the 0:58:08.810 --> 0:58:10.730 time to get up and get ready for the day 0:58:10.750 --> 0:58:13.220 it says a lot about like. 0:58:13.160 --> 0:58:15.340 Absolutely yeah see i did that. 0:58:15.200 --> 0:58:17.240 Was my point it feels better when you i watched 0:58:17.300 --> 0:58:18.140 put together i. 0:58:18.080 --> 0:58:21.610 Watched the discourse online and i said People are arguing 0:58:21.820 --> 0:58:24.890 and having separate conversations about the same topic. 0:58:25.490 --> 0:58:26.990 For example, I heard a. 0:58:26.950 --> 0:58:29.510 Dude say, like, I'm not going to stop wearing my 0:58:29.570 --> 0:58:32.430 do-rag so that y'all make me feel comfortable for white people. 0:58:33.030 --> 0:58:35.290 And then I heard an older black gentleman say, I've 0:58:35.390 --> 0:58:37.990 never told my son not to wear a do-rag because 0:58:38.030 --> 0:58:40.530 he needs to assimilate to white people. I tell my 0:58:40.570 --> 0:58:43.490 son not to wear a do-rag because as a military man, 0:58:43.530 --> 0:58:45.170 there's certain things you're supposed. 0:58:44.830 --> 0:58:47.010 To do when you leave the house. First thing is 0:58:47.050 --> 0:58:47.689 make up your bed. 0:58:47.750 --> 0:58:49.590 He was like, that has nothing to do with anybody 0:58:49.680 --> 0:58:52.190 else but the fact that you're preparing your mind and 0:58:52.210 --> 0:58:52.890 your body. 0:58:52.670 --> 0:58:53.590 To go about your day. 0:58:54.030 --> 0:58:55.900 And I said, you see how people are having different 0:58:55.960 --> 0:58:59.620 conversations about the same thing? Just because it affects you 0:58:59.720 --> 0:59:02.000 some way doesn't mean that it's affecting. 0:59:01.520 --> 0:59:02.740 Everybody else the same way. 0:59:02.740 --> 0:59:05.180 I actually enjoyed the discourse because I got a chance 0:59:05.180 --> 0:59:07.570 to hear what younger people felt about the bonnets and 0:59:07.570 --> 0:59:10.370 the Durags, which, to be honest, like Josh, I never 0:59:10.450 --> 0:59:14.010 cared that much. But I did hear their perspectives, and 0:59:14.110 --> 0:59:16.209 some of the things they were saying is that they 0:59:16.330 --> 0:59:18.550 feel like they want to be comfortable. 0:59:18.130 --> 0:59:21.110 In their own blackness, right? And I said, fair. You're 0:59:21.140 --> 0:59:22.660 at an all-black school. You went to an all-black school 0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:23.090 for a reason. 0:59:23.360 --> 0:59:25.840 You don't want to have to deal with respectability politics 0:59:25.920 --> 0:59:27.340 in a place that's supposed to be made for you. 0:59:28.300 --> 0:59:29.640 And I said, I understand that. 0:59:29.700 --> 0:59:31.580 But what I hope they understand is that the people 0:59:31.600 --> 0:59:33.660 who are creating this are trying to create this to 0:59:33.700 --> 0:59:36.560 help you focus on yourself, not focus on. 0:59:36.540 --> 0:59:39.180 What other people think. And I hope that they are 0:59:39.240 --> 0:59:39.600 able to at. 0:59:39.580 --> 0:59:41.560 Least come to some sort of middle ground so they 0:59:41.580 --> 0:59:44.560 can understand, like, yeah, you 18 or 22, you think 0:59:44.580 --> 0:59:44.939 you got. 0:59:44.880 --> 0:59:48.000 The world figured out, but you don't. You know what 0:59:48.040 --> 0:59:50.060 I'm saying? Like, you really don't. And I'm going to 0:59:50.080 --> 0:59:50.480 be honest. 0:59:50.900 --> 0:59:52.920 Let somebody come to my door to sell me something 0:59:52.960 --> 0:59:54.600 or give me something and they got on a bonnet 0:59:55.360 --> 0:59:59.080 or a do-rag or a hoodie or... A shower cap. 0:59:59.420 --> 1:00:01.430 I don't care what color they are. I'm like, you 1:00:01.450 --> 1:00:03.730 think I'm going to trust you wearing a bonnet? 1:00:03.770 --> 1:00:06.610 Bro, I took an Uber. It was a Lyft. And 1:00:06.650 --> 1:00:10.730 she had a bonnet on. I was like. You know, 1:00:10.850 --> 1:00:12.910 it was crazy because the car stunk. 1:00:14.210 --> 1:00:15.390 And it told me everything I needed to hear. It 1:00:15.410 --> 1:00:15.930 told you everything I. 1:00:15.890 --> 1:00:16.250 Know about her. 1:00:16.310 --> 1:00:17.690 Yeah, it told me everything I needed to hear. 1:00:17.710 --> 1:00:18.700 Her life story was in that car. 1:00:18.710 --> 1:00:20.550 And unfortunately, I had to tie the two together. 1:00:20.710 --> 1:00:22.590 You don't really want to do that because, you know, 1:00:22.610 --> 1:00:23.470 they don't really go together. 1:00:23.490 --> 1:00:23.650 But. 1:00:24.420 --> 1:00:26.979 My Uber drivers that don't wear bonnets have never smelled 1:00:27.020 --> 1:00:27.340 like that. 1:00:28.060 --> 1:00:30.580 I was in the airport just last weekend, weekend before. 1:00:30.800 --> 1:00:33.840 And there was a group of young ladies. I'm always 1:00:33.880 --> 1:00:39.460 in the airport. Full on like onesie pajamas. Like I 1:00:39.480 --> 1:00:41.160 think it was a fashion thing for them. Like the 1:00:41.180 --> 1:00:44.010 three of them had on the bonnet. They had a blanket. 1:00:44.110 --> 1:00:46.290 They had their bag, their little rolly suitcase. And it 1:00:46.330 --> 1:00:49.030 was a full on onesie fuzzy jacket. pajama first of 1:00:49.070 --> 1:00:50.550 all it's hot as hell I don't know where they 1:00:50.570 --> 1:00:52.610 were going to that was cold maybe Iceland I don't 1:00:52.650 --> 1:00:55.270 know but it was definitely and it was it was 1:00:55.310 --> 1:00:57.430 pajamas it was full on like they was about to 1:00:57.450 --> 1:00:58.610 go to a sleepover. 1:00:58.170 --> 1:01:00.710 I hope the flight was long maybe they weren't going. 1:01:00.590 --> 1:01:02.570 To Iceland maybe you never know so I was just 1:01:02.590 --> 1:01:04.650 like oh that's interesting wearing pajamas on. 1:01:04.570 --> 1:01:06.990 A flight when you taking a short flight and it's 1:01:07.010 --> 1:01:08.770 gonna be daytime when you get to the place you're 1:01:08.790 --> 1:01:10.310 going is nuts. 1:01:10.290 --> 1:01:12.880 Oh my god yeah absolutely I will say this too 1:01:12.890 --> 1:01:14.520 though you know this is the first time they've ever 1:01:14.540 --> 1:01:18.110 tried to ban something on college campuses For example, there 1:01:18.130 --> 1:01:20.410 was a moment where they were banning Uggs and leggings 1:01:21.070 --> 1:01:23.230 because they felt like it was inappropriate. Well, I had 1:01:23.270 --> 1:01:25.110 kids in college at the time, 2015, 2016. My kids 1:01:25.130 --> 1:01:28.460 that was in college was telling me like, yo, they 1:01:28.480 --> 1:01:29.260 trying to hate. 1:01:29.740 --> 1:01:31.620 That was like a uniform at one point. 1:01:31.920 --> 1:01:34.580 And they were saying it was because it became too 1:01:35.000 --> 1:01:40.110 overly sexualized. Like girls would come to class, no clothes on, 1:01:40.240 --> 1:01:43.860 just leggings and a T-shirt, no bra and Uggs. And 1:01:43.900 --> 1:01:46.680 leggings and Uggs became a thing that dudes knew. If 1:01:46.740 --> 1:01:48.439 a girl comes to your room with leggings and Uggs, 1:01:48.960 --> 1:01:49.800 she was with it. 1:01:49.900 --> 1:01:50.320 Oh, goodness. 1:01:50.500 --> 1:01:52.020 Those would be a cheap pair of leggings so you 1:01:52.040 --> 1:01:53.100 could see right through them. 1:01:53.120 --> 1:01:55.980 The athletes got in trouble, too, because the men would 1:01:56.000 --> 1:01:58.560 come into class in their spandex stuff. 1:01:59.340 --> 1:02:00.760 What the hell was going on? 1:02:00.820 --> 1:02:01.750 Like the dry fits. 1:02:01.850 --> 1:02:03.030 And this was 2015. 1:02:03.030 --> 1:02:03.970 The compression fits. 1:02:03.990 --> 1:02:05.510 With no shorts on top? Over it? 1:02:05.830 --> 1:02:08.840 Yeah, because there was... That was a thing, bro. 1:02:08.860 --> 1:02:10.280 That was crazy. 1:02:10.300 --> 1:02:11.520 What was going on? 1:02:11.560 --> 1:02:13.220 So at Hofstra, there was a time when we had 1:02:13.240 --> 1:02:13.860 pajama parties. 1:02:13.880 --> 1:02:14.660 They was freaked out. 1:02:14.700 --> 1:02:15.480 We had pajama parties. 1:02:15.500 --> 1:02:16.520 Yeah, we had pajama parties. 1:02:16.800 --> 1:02:18.360 But then you know how you give people an inch 1:02:18.400 --> 1:02:19.280 and they tend to do what? 1:02:19.580 --> 1:02:22.540 Yeah. Oh, like lingerie and pajama parties? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. 1:02:22.560 --> 1:02:24.560 Yeah, so now they going to class with this stuff. 1:02:25.240 --> 1:02:27.100 They was freaked out at Hofstra. 1:02:27.560 --> 1:02:29.180 No, we didn't go to class with that, but we 1:02:29.220 --> 1:02:32.550 did have pajama parties at Hofstra. But in 2015 and 16, 1:02:32.530 --> 1:02:33.770 my young boys are coming back and be like. 1:02:33.790 --> 1:02:34.870 Yo, they hating on us, bro. 1:02:35.240 --> 1:02:36.960 But the thing is, social media wasn't as big, so 1:02:37.000 --> 1:02:39.320 it wasn't a conversation. But the only reason why I 1:02:39.340 --> 1:02:42.820 brought that up is because leggings and Uggs isn't considered 1:02:42.860 --> 1:02:46.160 black attire, which means sometimes the attire isn't attacking you 1:02:46.200 --> 1:02:47.120 because of your blackness. 1:02:47.160 --> 1:02:50.300 Sometimes it's just like they don't think that that's appropriate. 1:02:50.620 --> 1:02:51.320 You know what I'm saying? 1:02:51.340 --> 1:02:51.960 Got you. 1:02:52.200 --> 1:02:52.860 That's what I'm saying. 1:02:52.880 --> 1:02:57.360 Because, I mean, certain women, not all women, certain women 1:02:57.400 --> 1:03:01.100 wear leggings and it's definitely going to be like no 1:03:01.160 --> 1:03:01.680 one's paying. 1:03:01.510 --> 1:03:03.280 Attention in class. You know what I'm saying? 1:03:03.300 --> 1:03:03.390 Yeah. 1:03:03.660 --> 1:03:06.730 Like, you know how it is. And I think professors 1:03:06.770 --> 1:03:09.530 got tired of it. Especially when you got athletes. 1:03:09.590 --> 1:03:10.450 I mean, think about all. 1:03:10.410 --> 1:03:12.710 The things that professors, teachers are having to contend with. 1:03:12.750 --> 1:03:15.430 Cell phones, distractions, like, there's so many things. So they're 1:03:15.450 --> 1:03:19.260 probably like, one more distraction, one more thing for them 1:03:19.300 --> 1:03:22.200 to take less serious is just more for them to 1:03:22.240 --> 1:03:22.680 contend with. 1:03:22.780 --> 1:03:24.360 I mean, I had to do it in prototype. 1:03:25.000 --> 1:03:28.460 I had to tell my athletes, male athletes, you can't 1:03:28.480 --> 1:03:29.780 wear spandex to run sprints. 1:03:31.120 --> 1:03:31.380 Couldn't. 1:03:31.760 --> 1:03:33.220 Like, I'm not going to have you out here at 1:03:33.220 --> 1:03:36.690 15 to 20 with your printout and there's young women here. 1:03:37.030 --> 1:03:38.990 Then I used to tell the track girls, you can't 1:03:39.050 --> 1:03:44.650 wear panty shorts. I just don't want any of that testosterone, estrogen. 1:03:45.210 --> 1:03:47.710 It's 60 of y'all. It's three of us. I want 1:03:47.730 --> 1:03:49.190 y'all to focus on what the task is. 1:03:49.510 --> 1:03:51.730 It had nothing to do with ethnicity because I had 1:03:51.870 --> 1:03:54.700 black and white. It was just both of y'all. Men, 1:03:54.740 --> 1:03:57.740 you get something you can't wear. Women, you get something 1:03:57.760 --> 1:03:59.800 you can't wear. To me, it was just easier because 1:03:59.820 --> 1:04:01.140 I didn't have to deal with that. 1:04:01.180 --> 1:04:02.000 I can't imagine. 1:04:02.690 --> 1:04:05.750 Going to school for seven to ten years to become 1:04:05.790 --> 1:04:09.090 a professor, to have to look at you in your pajamas. 1:04:10.650 --> 1:04:11.550 Yeah, man. 1:04:11.910 --> 1:04:13.230 I feel you, though. I feel you. 1:04:13.870 --> 1:04:16.650 We washed. This is not mine. We old. 1:04:16.670 --> 1:04:17.300 We are old. 1:04:17.350 --> 1:04:19.300 I'm not going to lie. We're old. I don't mind 1:04:19.320 --> 1:04:20.800 saying that. I'm a parent and I'm old. 1:04:21.000 --> 1:04:21.280 Yeah. 1:04:21.460 --> 1:04:23.520 When I was in my 20s, I didn't care. I 1:04:23.540 --> 1:04:25.020 wore my spandex to run sprints. We just have a 1:04:25.020 --> 1:04:25.780 different level of diversity. 1:04:26.820 --> 1:04:28.750 It was just one year where I had gained some 1:04:28.790 --> 1:04:33.210 weight and all I could wear was spandex. And I 1:04:33.250 --> 1:04:35.190 got sexually harassed that whole time. 1:04:35.330 --> 1:04:37.390 Everybody was like, dang, Trebs, I didn't know you had 1:04:37.760 --> 1:04:39.740 a butt. They was calling me BBL Trebs. 1:04:39.780 --> 1:04:40.300 What was this? 1:04:40.900 --> 1:04:43.530 This was like 2008, 2009. 1:04:43.530 --> 1:04:44.490 Oh, this is before you met us. 1:04:44.790 --> 1:04:46.930 Yeah, way before. 1:04:47.310 --> 1:04:47.990 Exactly. 1:04:48.010 --> 1:04:49.570 Triple be stacked when she ready, honey. 1:04:49.610 --> 1:04:51.290 You can tell when she start back at the gym. 1:04:51.350 --> 1:04:52.970 I have no comment. 1:04:53.050 --> 1:04:54.410 I'm going to give my girl her flowers. 1:04:54.550 --> 1:04:55.450 I have no comment. 1:04:56.470 --> 1:04:59.470 We have no HR team here. 1:04:59.490 --> 1:05:02.730 Look at Matt. I have no comment. 1:05:03.430 --> 1:05:04.970 Let's take a break and we'll be back with our 1:05:04.990 --> 1:05:25.260 listening letter of the day. All right, we're back with 1:05:25.360 --> 1:05:27.140 our listener letter. I'm going to dive in. 1:05:27.240 --> 1:05:30.780 Hey, Kadeem. You have two cards or one? Turn the 1:05:30.800 --> 1:05:31.490 back card around. 1:05:33.170 --> 1:05:34.050 Oh, they were upside down. 1:05:34.330 --> 1:05:34.610 I see. 1:05:34.910 --> 1:05:35.430 Oh, did I? 1:05:36.210 --> 1:05:36.330 Oh. 1:05:36.610 --> 1:05:39.690 Yeah, this one's upside down. 1:05:39.790 --> 1:05:40.130 All good. 1:05:40.530 --> 1:05:40.850 Cool. 1:05:41.930 --> 1:05:43.090 Wait, were they upside down the whole time? 1:05:43.110 --> 1:05:44.030 I didn't even notice until now. 1:05:44.420 --> 1:05:45.640 They might have been, Chow. 1:05:45.660 --> 1:05:47.060 They might have been. 1:05:47.120 --> 1:05:48.700 Unless you can read. 1:05:48.720 --> 1:05:50.360 Maybe if I had my bonnet on, I'd be able 1:05:50.380 --> 1:05:50.959 to think better. 1:05:50.980 --> 1:05:51.840 Facts. 1:05:52.300 --> 1:05:52.520 Facts. 1:05:53.000 --> 1:05:55.880 Hey, Kadeen DeVal and the team. Love y'all down. 1:05:56.060 --> 1:05:58.380 Firstly, thank you guys for sharing your wonderful family with 1:05:58.480 --> 1:06:02.040 us and for the insightful topics. I would like your opinion. 1:06:02.060 --> 1:06:04.410 I got back together with my high school sweetheart after 1:06:04.450 --> 1:06:08.010 we separated for five years because I messed up, in parentheses, 1:06:08.150 --> 1:06:08.930 left for a girl. 1:06:09.530 --> 1:06:12.010 When we reconnected, it was all good. But now it's 1:06:12.090 --> 1:06:13.650 like he finds everything wrong. 1:06:13.710 --> 1:06:16.360 If I look in the mirror... And for him, it's 1:06:16.400 --> 1:06:19.200 too long. He calls me self-centered. Like, God forbid, I 1:06:19.220 --> 1:06:21.340 love who I am, the clothes I wear, the people 1:06:21.410 --> 1:06:23.650 I talk to. If I want to go somewhere, it's 1:06:23.670 --> 1:06:26.870 a problem. When we reconnected, I was like, yes, I 1:06:26.910 --> 1:06:28.710 can see him as my husband and the father of 1:06:28.790 --> 1:06:32.000 my child. Neither of us have any kids. And we 1:06:32.060 --> 1:06:34.700 went on the journey to try to start our family. 1:06:34.780 --> 1:06:38.320 No luck so far. However, now it's like, nah, I 1:06:38.360 --> 1:06:40.910 can't do this. And all of that thought is now 1:06:40.930 --> 1:06:42.950 in the rearview mirror. Yes, I love him, but I 1:06:43.030 --> 1:06:45.810 can't help but feel like I'm losing myself to please 1:06:45.870 --> 1:06:48.160 him and see things his way. 1:06:48.780 --> 1:06:50.680 Nothing is wrong with that, but listen to me too. 1:06:51.600 --> 1:06:53.200 I guess she's referring to his thoughts. 1:06:54.280 --> 1:06:56.220 It's like I shouldn't have it's like I shouldn't have 1:06:56.260 --> 1:06:58.500 a life outside of him. He would go through my 1:06:58.560 --> 1:07:02.460 phone and see old instant messages from people, men who 1:07:02.540 --> 1:07:04.300 half the time I didn't even give the time of 1:07:04.340 --> 1:07:06.270 day and argues about them saying that I should have 1:07:06.310 --> 1:07:09.410 deleted them. And I don't even remember. And my focus 1:07:09.450 --> 1:07:11.939 is on you. I look forward to hearing your views 1:07:11.980 --> 1:07:14.160 and advice on whether it's worth working on or should 1:07:14.180 --> 1:07:16.640 we just go our separate ways from an island girl. 1:07:16.980 --> 1:07:18.240 Girl, go your separate ways, child. 1:07:18.400 --> 1:07:19.060 Absolutely. 1:07:19.360 --> 1:07:21.080 That don't sound like a difficult one. 1:07:21.300 --> 1:07:22.430 I'm about to say this was easy. 1:07:22.490 --> 1:07:24.050 Everybody say, okay, goodbye. Yeah, girl. 1:07:24.070 --> 1:07:25.130 What is it to talk about? 1:07:25.150 --> 1:07:27.770 You sound like a future family annihilator. 1:07:27.790 --> 1:07:30.890 Yo. You see how she said left for a girl? 1:07:30.930 --> 1:07:34.390 He insecure because of that. So he keeps checking her 1:07:34.470 --> 1:07:36.610 phone because she left for a girl. And no matter 1:07:36.670 --> 1:07:38.930 what he do, he's never going to be a girl. 1:07:39.190 --> 1:07:41.220 So he's worried that he's not going to be able 1:07:41.240 --> 1:07:43.400 to fulfill whatever need it is that she want. 1:07:43.780 --> 1:07:45.940 Going through somebody's phone to me is like, if I 1:07:45.980 --> 1:07:47.860 got to do that, if I got to do that, 1:07:47.940 --> 1:07:48.340 I'm done. 1:07:48.420 --> 1:07:49.980 You need a gym membership, big dog. 1:07:50.200 --> 1:07:53.030 He's going for stuff that ain't nothing there and he 1:07:53.050 --> 1:07:55.390 look he finding the old stuff and they get mad 1:07:55.410 --> 1:07:57.300 that she not deleting the old. 1:07:57.140 --> 1:07:59.880 Stuff deleting the old stuff insecure insecure oh my. 1:07:59.860 --> 1:08:02.580 God it's easy low-key abusive too. 1:08:02.440 --> 1:08:04.740 Right like you can't go nowhere you can't talk to 1:08:04.780 --> 1:08:05.320 nobody you. 1:08:05.280 --> 1:08:07.160 Can't do things like control are you happy do. 1:08:07.120 --> 1:08:09.590 You want a marriage or a warden strike carry you 1:08:09.620 --> 1:08:11.730 down telling you you self-centered. 1:08:11.230 --> 1:08:13.590 When you look in a mirror right that's abuse that's 1:08:13.610 --> 1:08:17.150 abuse all that could be true right but that's not 1:08:17.189 --> 1:08:19.900 his job It ain't got nothing to do with going 1:08:19.920 --> 1:08:22.219 through a phone and not being happy and not listening. 1:08:22.240 --> 1:08:25.060 Be self-centered in pieces. Be proud of who you are. 1:08:25.120 --> 1:08:26.960 You wearing a bonnet? That's the question I want to do. 1:08:27.120 --> 1:08:28.000 Here's my thing, though. 1:08:29.820 --> 1:08:31.060 That's what I'm doing. 1:08:31.100 --> 1:08:35.770 Here's my thing about being self-centered, right? If you can't 1:08:35.810 --> 1:08:37.770 be self-centered with the person you're going to build a 1:08:37.790 --> 1:08:39.309 life with, who are you going to be self-centered with? 1:08:39.330 --> 1:08:40.470 You can't look in the mirror. 1:08:40.650 --> 1:08:41.270 That's right. 1:08:41.370 --> 1:08:42.630 And he should be hyping. 1:08:42.270 --> 1:08:44.240 You up like, yeah, baby, yes. 1:08:44.250 --> 1:08:44.850 Like, come on. 1:08:44.870 --> 1:08:45.390 Yes. 1:08:45.650 --> 1:08:47.690 Yeah, that's my girl right there. Yeah, let me see that. 1:08:47.710 --> 1:08:48.150 That part. 1:08:48.189 --> 1:08:49.330 Like, I was going off at the other night. I 1:08:49.330 --> 1:08:51.350 was like, nah, don't look right. Put that back on. 1:08:51.430 --> 1:08:51.830 Okay. 1:08:51.870 --> 1:08:54.370 I'm like, I want your opinion on that. It's not controlling. 1:08:54.390 --> 1:08:55.690 It's like, give me your opinion. 1:08:55.750 --> 1:08:57.230 Yeah, I want you to look good when you go out. 1:08:57.270 --> 1:08:58.630 You know what I'm saying? I want it to be 1:08:58.650 --> 1:09:00.560 a thing where it's like, yeah, you comfortable. being who 1:09:00.580 --> 1:09:00.979 you are. 1:09:00.920 --> 1:09:03.200 You know what it is well what I think it 1:09:03.280 --> 1:09:06.099 is um Anika looks at herself in the mirror way 1:09:06.120 --> 1:09:08.060 more than I do like I don't look at myself 1:09:08.080 --> 1:09:09.660 in the mirror I have to but I it don't 1:09:09.680 --> 1:09:12.150 bother me it just bothers him. 1:09:12.250 --> 1:09:13.990 Everybody tune in for the after show we got a 1:09:14.010 --> 1:09:14.389 joke for. 1:09:14.330 --> 1:09:17.210 You I can't wait. 1:09:17.250 --> 1:09:18.670 Josh, what were you wearing? 1:09:18.750 --> 1:09:20.189 You have to be at the after show. Now I 1:09:20.189 --> 1:09:20.750 can't wait. 1:09:20.870 --> 1:09:25.170 What were you wearing, Josh? Something out of the chest? 1:09:25.410 --> 1:09:27.059 Out of the trunk? 1:09:27.080 --> 1:09:30.460 Trust me, it's funny. Tune in for the after show. 1:09:30.520 --> 1:09:31.260 Now I can't wait. 1:09:31.340 --> 1:09:33.240 We're going to talk about it after the show. But 1:09:33.300 --> 1:09:37.200 I just think it's corny, honestly. I just think if 1:09:37.260 --> 1:09:39.800 he's doing what she says he's doing, it's just corny. 1:09:40.140 --> 1:09:40.920 She needs to leave. 1:09:40.979 --> 1:09:42.160 I have a bigger question, right? 1:09:42.470 --> 1:09:44.470 Where are we in the world now where all of 1:09:44.510 --> 1:09:48.100 these signs come up and people need advice on that? Like, 1:09:49.380 --> 1:09:51.000 at some point, it's like we as people got to 1:09:51.040 --> 1:09:53.099 start realizing for ourselves, like, you know what? This ain't 1:09:53.140 --> 1:09:53.920 a good situation. 1:09:54.000 --> 1:09:54.860 I think she knows, though. 1:09:55.140 --> 1:09:57.090 But why write in and ask us? If you know, 1:09:57.150 --> 1:09:58.070 it's like, let me disconnect from it. 1:09:58.070 --> 1:10:02.269 Because sometimes you just need that confirmation. But why? Because, listen, 1:10:02.410 --> 1:10:05.300 she might not have people in her life. I don't know. 1:10:05.860 --> 1:10:07.800 that can give her the advice, right? 1:10:08.060 --> 1:10:08.320 That's true. 1:10:08.340 --> 1:10:09.710 We had the forum for it. 1:10:09.720 --> 1:10:11.200 That's true. She's using the tools. 1:10:11.220 --> 1:10:13.939 That's true. And thankfully she is because I got a job. 1:10:14.479 --> 1:10:15.700 Keep riding in. 1:10:15.820 --> 1:10:16.479 Keep riding in. 1:10:16.780 --> 1:10:18.420 But the point, but I get what you're saying, right? 1:10:18.439 --> 1:10:21.049 Because to me, that's a no brainer. Yeah. If we're 1:10:21.090 --> 1:10:23.030 not seeing eye to eye on the basic things and 1:10:23.050 --> 1:10:24.070 you going through my stuff. 1:10:24.770 --> 1:10:25.830 Imagine when big things arise. 1:10:25.850 --> 1:10:28.450 I've already seen my life, what it was with you 1:10:28.470 --> 1:10:31.210 that I enjoyed. Now I'm in a part in my 1:10:31.250 --> 1:10:33.830 life where I'm with you and I do not enjoy it. 1:10:33.870 --> 1:10:34.350 That part. 1:10:34.860 --> 1:10:38.090 She's now looking for an out. And she just wants 1:10:38.530 --> 1:10:39.330 Kadina to tell. 1:10:39.210 --> 1:10:41.490 Her to leave. 1:10:41.550 --> 1:10:45.290 That's my issue, Josh. We talk about discernment all the time. 1:10:45.350 --> 1:10:47.879 Sometimes you got to use discernment at a time where 1:10:47.900 --> 1:10:50.260 you don't have a forum to ask people. And some 1:10:50.300 --> 1:10:52.670 people need to start saying, like, man, I keep making 1:10:52.729 --> 1:10:55.269 poor choices over and over again and blaming the people 1:10:55.290 --> 1:10:56.090 that I'm making. 1:10:55.850 --> 1:10:56.689 The poor choices with. 1:10:56.729 --> 1:10:58.870 We have to start trusting the God in us and 1:10:58.990 --> 1:11:00.370 using discernment to say, you know what? 1:11:00.410 --> 1:11:03.090 This don't feel right. I don't need Kadeem to tell me. 1:11:03.479 --> 1:11:06.520 I agree. But I also think I think as human 1:11:06.580 --> 1:11:11.220 beings and and sometimes we are vulnerable and we can 1:11:11.380 --> 1:11:14.360 we understand that we can make mistakes. This might just 1:11:14.420 --> 1:11:17.080 be something that she's fearful of doing because it might 1:11:17.100 --> 1:11:18.680 just even change the trajectory of her life. 1:11:19.320 --> 1:11:20.740 Well, and I don't want to make it just about 1:11:20.780 --> 1:11:23.040 her because I actually do appreciate her writing in. I'm 1:11:23.060 --> 1:11:27.660 just saying in totality, when we constantly tell people to 1:11:27.760 --> 1:11:29.590 use discernment, how do you build discernment? 1:11:29.870 --> 1:11:32.230 I write about this in the book as well. Me 1:11:32.290 --> 1:11:33.130 and Brian. 1:11:32.790 --> 1:11:34.610 Struggled a little bit when we were growing up because 1:11:34.670 --> 1:11:36.750 Brian never had to really use discernment. 1:11:36.350 --> 1:11:38.490 Because he had an older brother two years older. I 1:11:38.530 --> 1:11:40.570 hold your hand as we walk home from school. I'm eight. 1:11:40.610 --> 1:11:41.070 He's six. 1:11:41.500 --> 1:11:42.979 We go in this way because I know where we live. 1:11:43.400 --> 1:11:45.099 As he got older, it was just kind of like, well, 1:11:45.140 --> 1:11:47.440 I'm used to devout making the decisions. So you got 1:11:47.460 --> 1:11:50.100 to kind of step back to allow people to make 1:11:50.120 --> 1:11:52.559 their decisions, fall, figure it out or make the right 1:11:52.600 --> 1:11:54.890 decision and realize like, ha, I can use my discernment. 1:11:55.290 --> 1:11:56.910 If we always fall and I got to ask my 1:11:56.990 --> 1:11:58.930 friend or I got to ask my mom, then it's 1:11:58.950 --> 1:12:01.490 just like you're always looking for affirmations from people who 1:12:01.590 --> 1:12:03.290 aren't living the life you live in. We got to 1:12:03.310 --> 1:12:05.850 start trusting our own discernment. And OK, I made a 1:12:05.890 --> 1:12:08.770 bad decision one time. I learned from it. The next decision, 1:12:08.790 --> 1:12:09.650 I'm not going to do it again. 1:12:09.680 --> 1:12:09.940 I agree. 1:12:09.950 --> 1:12:11.200 You know what I'm saying? 1:12:11.260 --> 1:12:12.440 Look at the camera and tell her that. 1:12:12.880 --> 1:12:14.800 Yeah, I'm not just talking about you. I'm talking about 1:12:14.880 --> 1:12:15.759 in general. 1:12:16.180 --> 1:12:18.460 We all just have to use better discernment and trust 1:12:18.500 --> 1:12:21.019 the morals and the things that we've been brought up with. 1:12:21.040 --> 1:12:21.560 You know what I'm saying? 1:12:21.580 --> 1:12:23.120 And on top of that, I think here's a good 1:12:23.160 --> 1:12:26.610 question that I think anybody can ask themselves when they're 1:12:26.650 --> 1:12:29.450 maybe in a relationship or a situation where they're unsure 1:12:29.490 --> 1:12:31.309 and it's like, damn, I wish I had some advice. 1:12:31.890 --> 1:12:35.490 Ask yourself, do I love who I am? Do I 1:12:35.590 --> 1:12:37.910 like who I am when I'm with this person? 1:12:39.520 --> 1:12:39.920 And if the. 1:12:40.160 --> 1:12:42.639 Answer is no, because chances are if someone is here 1:12:42.700 --> 1:12:45.260 trying to, you know, bash you every second they get, 1:12:45.320 --> 1:12:46.900 it seems like put you down, control you. 1:12:46.920 --> 1:12:49.580 Do you feel good like that? It's a good way. 1:12:49.760 --> 1:12:53.560 Okay, Dr. Phil Dean. Yeah. 1:12:54.280 --> 1:12:54.660 Dr. 1:12:54.700 --> 1:12:55.560 Phil Dean. 1:12:55.640 --> 1:12:57.240 I think it can apply to anybody. 1:12:57.280 --> 1:12:59.480 It's like, do I like and love this scenario that 1:12:59.500 --> 1:13:02.270 I'm in with this person? And if nothing were to change. 1:13:02.990 --> 1:13:05.090 if nothing were to change, would I want to live 1:13:05.130 --> 1:13:07.340 my life moving forward with this person for the rest 1:13:07.400 --> 1:13:09.360 of my life, making major life decisions? 1:13:09.540 --> 1:13:12.100 She just got to write her story and then change 1:13:12.120 --> 1:13:12.560 the names. 1:13:13.000 --> 1:13:13.700 Read that over. 1:13:13.720 --> 1:13:15.120 And if it sounds like. 1:13:15.140 --> 1:13:16.740 That's a fact. That's a good one. 1:13:16.780 --> 1:13:17.860 That is a good one. 1:13:17.900 --> 1:13:18.599 Yes. 1:13:18.740 --> 1:13:19.559 Wow. 1:13:19.680 --> 1:13:20.519 I like that. 1:13:20.550 --> 1:13:20.700 Right. 1:13:20.729 --> 1:13:21.740 Make that shit fictional. 1:13:21.970 --> 1:13:22.729 I like that. 1:13:22.930 --> 1:13:26.970 Now, my therapy office, my unlicensed therapy office of one 1:13:27.030 --> 1:13:29.030 just became triple and associate. 1:13:29.250 --> 1:13:29.820 Ha ha ha. 1:13:30.490 --> 1:13:31.730 Y'all are the associates. 1:13:31.770 --> 1:13:34.070 We're taking new clients. 1:13:34.250 --> 1:13:37.340 I'm the ass. It was leg day today. 1:13:37.360 --> 1:13:41.160 You better stop playing with me. You better stop playing. 1:13:41.380 --> 1:13:43.920 I'm famished. I actually do like that. That was a 1:13:43.939 --> 1:13:44.150 good one. 1:13:44.160 --> 1:13:46.160 Write down the story and change the names and read 1:13:46.240 --> 1:13:47.650 it to yourself and see if you like it. 1:13:47.660 --> 1:13:48.939 See if you like it. I like that. 1:13:49.060 --> 1:13:50.080 That's fabulous. 1:13:50.100 --> 1:13:51.979 That's a good way to figure out discernment. 1:13:52.020 --> 1:13:53.120 That is fabulous. 1:13:53.420 --> 1:13:55.880 Oh, my goodness. All right, y'all. Time for the moment 1:13:55.960 --> 1:13:57.540 of truth. Oh, first off, if you want to be 1:13:57.580 --> 1:13:59.349 a listener, please continue to write in. I know we 1:13:59.360 --> 1:14:00.660 mentioned to her, like, girl, you know the answer to 1:14:00.689 --> 1:14:02.849 this question, but write us because we want to know 1:14:02.970 --> 1:14:06.030 and we in y'all business all the time anyway. TheEllisAdvice 1:14:06.130 --> 1:14:07.150 at gmail.com. 1:14:07.250 --> 1:14:13.220 That's T-H-E-E-L-L-I-S-A-D-V-I-C-E at gmail.com. All right. 1:14:13.300 --> 1:14:14.200 Time for the moment of truth. 1:14:14.220 --> 1:14:16.850 Today we're talking about school in the future, what schooling 1:14:16.890 --> 1:14:18.389 looks like for each child. 1:14:18.890 --> 1:14:21.290 Our school experience is growing up. What are the takeaways 1:14:21.310 --> 1:14:22.190 from today? Moment of truth. 1:14:22.350 --> 1:14:23.310 I'll start. 1:14:23.910 --> 1:14:25.670 So yeah, I opened my eyes to the fact that 1:14:26.010 --> 1:14:30.230 public schools isn't always what private school isn't always what 1:14:30.260 --> 1:14:32.500 it's cracked up to be. And while you guys were 1:14:32.520 --> 1:14:35.560 saying that reminded me of a conversation that Barack Obama 1:14:35.600 --> 1:14:38.679 had a few years ago when he talked about being 1:14:38.700 --> 1:14:41.389 in a room with people with high status and and 1:14:42.290 --> 1:14:45.550 realizing that they're not necessarily always the most intelligent people 1:14:45.590 --> 1:14:50.500 in the room. So understanding that. Actually, also, Jalen Brown 1:14:50.600 --> 1:14:53.540 spoke about it as well earlier this year, who's a 1:14:53.560 --> 1:14:58.639 basketball player for the Philadelphia 76ers, I guess now. He 1:14:58.720 --> 1:15:02.000 talked about, you know, sometimes people aren't just that smart. 1:15:02.860 --> 1:15:07.729 And my moment of truth is, for me to be 1:15:07.790 --> 1:15:10.720 steadfast in the things that we're doing, educating our child, 1:15:10.760 --> 1:15:12.540 because knowing that she's going to be in rooms that 1:15:12.580 --> 1:15:17.040 we might think should be pouring into her, realizing that 1:15:17.240 --> 1:15:20.300 those same rooms might be only trickling into her. And 1:15:20.600 --> 1:15:22.740 our job is to continue to pour into her from 1:15:22.960 --> 1:15:23.840 our vessels. 1:15:24.439 --> 1:15:25.140 Yeah, I agree with that. 1:15:25.160 --> 1:15:27.150 That's a good one. That actually spiraled into part of 1:15:27.189 --> 1:15:27.930 my moment of truth. 1:15:27.970 --> 1:15:31.160 In addition to What I said earlier, is this a 1:15:31.180 --> 1:15:33.080 good school or is this a good school for your child? 1:15:33.100 --> 1:15:34.969 I think you need to also pay attention not just 1:15:35.010 --> 1:15:37.710 to the curriculum in a school, but the culture of 1:15:37.729 --> 1:15:40.290 the environment that they're in. Because ultimately you want an 1:15:40.350 --> 1:15:45.450 environment that's going to foster and nurture that learning of 1:15:45.470 --> 1:15:51.370 your child, developing in different ways, socially, academically, mentally, physically. 1:15:51.710 --> 1:15:54.750 So paying attention to not just the curriculum and if 1:15:54.790 --> 1:15:56.879 it's a good school, but the culture and the environment. 1:15:56.900 --> 1:15:58.100 I like that. 1:15:58.490 --> 1:16:00.660 Use discernment when you're picking the school, not just the 1:16:00.700 --> 1:16:01.800 school ranking on the boards. 1:16:02.520 --> 1:16:03.400 That's a good one, too. 1:16:06.360 --> 1:16:08.380 Who cares? You know, that's how I feel. I don't 1:16:08.439 --> 1:16:09.000 have no kids. 1:16:10.240 --> 1:16:13.089 That's why I just remix off of what she just said. 1:16:13.920 --> 1:16:15.200 I got one though. I got one though. It's a 1:16:15.200 --> 1:16:16.180 good one too. Check this out. 1:16:17.000 --> 1:16:19.740 Don't pick a school based on your aspirations as an adult. 1:16:20.180 --> 1:16:22.040 It may not be the best school for your child. 1:16:22.600 --> 1:16:25.320 So often as parents, we're always like upward mobility, upward mobility. 1:16:25.360 --> 1:16:26.920 I got to get my kid here. Private school, I 1:16:26.920 --> 1:16:28.580 got to get my kid here. It's this type of school. 1:16:29.040 --> 1:16:29.260 Nah. 1:16:30.160 --> 1:16:32.640 Nah, that's all the things you want. Your child may 1:16:32.660 --> 1:16:33.800 not have asked for any of those things. 1:16:34.420 --> 1:16:36.939 So stop picking schools based on your aspirations and pick 1:16:36.960 --> 1:16:38.620 schools that are best for your child. 1:16:39.479 --> 1:16:39.809 All right. 1:16:40.910 --> 1:16:42.610 I want to rewind the tape, first of all, and see, 1:16:42.710 --> 1:16:44.510 were my cards upside down like this the whole time? 1:16:44.570 --> 1:16:46.870 I don't know, because, you know, it's okay. A little 1:16:46.890 --> 1:16:48.950 snafu here, but I just flipped it over, and I'm like, wait. 1:16:48.990 --> 1:16:50.310 Sorry, y'all. 1:16:50.400 --> 1:16:50.960 I can't read. 1:16:51.479 --> 1:16:54.560 Y'all know what it says. It's Ellis Ever After, all right? 1:16:54.760 --> 1:16:55.389 Come on. 1:16:55.420 --> 1:16:55.969 Be sure to find us. 1:16:56.640 --> 1:16:59.580 Focus on the details, okay? Find us on social media. 1:16:59.600 --> 1:17:02.900 The Ellis Ever After podcast. You can find me at 1:17:02.920 --> 1:17:03.560 Kadeen I.M. 1:17:03.580 --> 1:17:04.760 I am DeVal. 1:17:04.900 --> 1:17:06.080 I'm underscore Matt.Ellis. 1:17:06.340 --> 1:17:13.969 And I'm it. And I'm Tribs the Cool. That's T-R-B-B-Z. 1:17:14.610 --> 1:17:15.190 The Cool. 1:17:16.490 --> 1:17:17.099 On everything. 1:17:17.110 --> 1:17:21.040 On everything. You want to do Josh with Dwayne, Tribs? 1:17:21.540 --> 1:17:26.120 And I am. Crazy. That is Josh with Dwayne. That 1:17:26.200 --> 1:17:26.879 is for Dwayne. 1:17:28.810 --> 1:17:31.130 And I'm at Tribs the Cool. T-R-I-B-B-Z. 1:17:31.189 --> 1:17:31.910 The Cool. 1:17:32.310 --> 1:17:32.750 On everything. 1:17:33.410 --> 1:17:37.910 And if you're listening to Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, Review, subscribe, download. 1:17:37.930 --> 1:17:39.980 Make sure you watch the after show because you're about 1:17:39.990 --> 1:17:42.480 to get this story. It's hosted by Kadeem and Deval. 1:17:42.540 --> 1:17:43.750 And I can't wait to hear it. 1:17:43.780 --> 1:17:44.840 Come on, Patreon. 1:17:44.880 --> 1:17:45.300 Gang, gang. 1:17:45.340 --> 1:17:45.700 Love y'all. 1:17:45.720 --> 1:17:50.139 Video production by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis. Video editing 1:17:50.300 --> 1:17:51.220 by LaShawn Rowe. 1:19:37.380 --> 1:19:37.640 Thank you.