1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: I'm trying through Reform Sports to help people make the 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: most informed decision. So you talked about bucking the system, Like, 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,399 Speaker 1: what would give someone the confidence to feel good about 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: that because they're getting that pressure up and my kid 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: gonna miss out or you know I'm being told this. Well, 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: let me listen to these fifty episodes. Let me read 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: this newsletter. I need to have the information to be 8 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,440 Speaker 1: able to know what's the best case scenario for myself 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: and my child. This is the Reform Sports Project, a 10 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all areas 11 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: of sports through education and advocacy. Ah this is Nick 12 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: Bonacor from the Reform Sports Podcast. Today marks are one 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: hundredth episode and exciting milestone for Reform Sports. I want 14 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: to thank the Reform Sports podcast team, are incredible guests 15 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: and all of our listeners for their continued support and 16 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: passion for helping to reform youth sports. To celebrate our 17 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: one hundred episode, we're mixing things up a little. I'm 18 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: proud to say that Peter Carlisle, Managing director of Olympics 19 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: in Action Sports for O and co founder of Reformed Sports, 20 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: is returning to the podcast. This time to interview me. 21 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: Peter and I discuss our shared commitment to advocate for 22 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: a better future for our kids. While the pushback I 23 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: received when I initially started speaking out about today's youth 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: sports culture further motivated me to start reform sports and 25 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: my advice for parents look at a buck the system 26 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 1: and step outside the youth sports cultural norms. Back at it. 27 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: One hundredth episode, Man, this is really special. We're kind 28 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: of flipping the script on it today. I'm going on 29 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: the other side of the mic. I have my man 30 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,960 Speaker 1: and partner from Octagon Olympics and Action Sports, Peter Carlisle 31 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: some Meyer kind of stalked all over the country for 32 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: about three years before. I think borderlines strong army him 33 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: are guilt tripping him into getting involved. But now he's 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: him and his team Brooks shand Or, Drew Johnson, a 35 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: man of Silver, and everyone over at Octagon. Megan as Well, 36 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: thank you so much for all your help, and it's 37 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: just I'm excited to be able to kind of be 38 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: on the other side and let Peter kind of take 39 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: the reins and let's see what this looks like for 40 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: one hundredth episode. It's exciting. 41 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 2: Thanks Nick, Well First off, congrats on the one hundredth episode. 42 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,799 Speaker 2: Come a long way over a fairly short period of 43 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 2: time and pretty exciting. You've grown the audience to about 44 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 2: five million per month, which is fantastic. And I'll tell 45 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 2: you I'm excited today to not just flip the roles 46 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 2: in terms of you being interviewed, but I think your 47 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 2: audience would love to know more about your story. You 48 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 2: spend one hundred episodes or ninety nine anyway getting into 49 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,239 Speaker 2: their stories and sort of figuring out what makes them 50 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 2: tick and how that feeds into the whole youth sports 51 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 2: movement that you're trying to address. And you know, you're 52 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: one of the most passionate, driven people I've known, and 53 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 2: I'd like to get at what's behind that because I'm 54 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 2: sure it informs the work you're doing now through Performed 55 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 2: Sports Project. So when do you start by just, you know, 56 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 2: take us way back to your childhood, take us back 57 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 2: to your experience in youth sports. 58 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: Thank you, Peter. God. When I when I think about 59 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: and it's kind of all ties into to why I 60 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: became so passionate about, you know, youth sports and all 61 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: that is that you know, I grew up in in 62 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: a in a in a very blue collar part of 63 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 1: the northeast and Waterbury, Connecticut. You know, two awesome parents. 64 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 1: I had two older brothers. Sports was the big part 65 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: of our life. My wife always kids with me because 66 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: you know, she's from Ohio and you know, her parents 67 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: were very much entrenched and making sure that the foundation 68 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: in school was like, hey, let's do academics first and 69 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: and all of that. And you know, for me, it 70 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: was kind of like, uh, you know, both my parents, 71 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: God bless them, it was about being a great person 72 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: first and then sports is kind of going to be 73 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: the trump card and everything in our life and just 74 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: do fine in school and uh, and be a good person. 75 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: And why that's so important to me is because it 76 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: helped me get a college education. I would have never 77 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: gone to college. I hated school. I hated the academic 78 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: pece of it. Of course, I love the socialization piece 79 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: of it. But to bring it back to youth sports, 80 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: it was a big thing in my house. I have 81 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: two older brothers. One is eight years older than me, 82 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: one of six years older than me, so growing up 83 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: watching them play youth sports and high school sports, I 84 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: was the little kid brother, you know, the bat boy 85 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: the ball boy at all their you know, football and 86 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: baseball events, and you know, that was a big deal 87 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: in our house and in our city. They were good athletes, 88 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: and at the time, when I was seven, eight, nine, ten, 89 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: eleven years old, in my mind, I might as well 90 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: have been living with like Tom Brady and you know 91 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: whoever the best line back. I thought they were the 92 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 1: they were on the cover of the paper, they were 93 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: winning state championships. So to me, I was like, oh 94 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: my god, I live with these two superheroes, superhuman people, 95 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: and I just admired my older brothers so much. So 96 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: for me, it was a big deal. Sports was a 97 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,799 Speaker 1: big part of my life. As I said, my parents 98 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: did everything they could. They didn't have a lot of means, 99 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: but it was a big deal for them to have 100 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: us involved being part of teams. For me, it's like 101 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: this holy grail when I look at youth sports, I 102 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: look what it provided for me and my brothers. Neither 103 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: of my parents were college educated. Me and my brothers 104 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: all have college educations. My older brother has a master's degree. 105 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: So that all was a direct result of us playing 106 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: sports growing up. None of us were, you know, big 107 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,039 Speaker 1: time scholarship athletes. Going to Power five schools or anything. 108 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: But it helped us along the way. More importantly, it 109 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: helped us to develop the skill sets that we have 110 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: that help us in life. So for me, you know, 111 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: to bring it back my experience as I became a 112 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: parent and my kids got involved in as a lot 113 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: of the audience knows, I have six kids, sports became 114 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: a big part of my children's lives and my life 115 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: as a youth coach, and I started to just see 116 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: that the youth sports you know, culture that we see 117 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: today was different than what I experienced growing up. It 118 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: wasn't about the community. It wasn't about so much as 119 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: the community and the things that you extract from. It 120 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: was more about, you know, performance driven, keeping up with 121 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: the Joneses, early specialization, like all of these like ideology, 122 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: jeez that were never talked about, at least I never 123 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,599 Speaker 1: heard growing up. And I actually got sucked into it 124 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 1: a little bit before you get to that, what was 125 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: it like when you were a kid? 126 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 2: I mean, were you you're playing football and baseball or 127 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 2: were you playing other sports. 128 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: I played organized football from the time I was seven 129 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: years old. I played organized baseball from the time I 130 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: was seven years old. Just recreation. So with seasonal of course, 131 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm in the Northeast, so everything was seasonal. Basketball was 132 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: just something I played in the backyard. It was something 133 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: I played in the neighborhood at the parks. I loved basketball. 134 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,239 Speaker 1: I wasn't particularly the greatest at it. Baseball, I always 135 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: knew right away was my favorite sport. I loved it. 136 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 1: I think I performed well at it. Same thing with football, 137 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 1: But I didn't necessarily love the physicality of football, even 138 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: though I played it all the way through high school. 139 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: I was a quarterback. I didn't particularly love getting smacked 140 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 1: around a little bit. So I never really had a 141 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: desire to go beyond high school basketball. While I loved 142 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 1: so much and I played at CYO in high school, 143 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: I think I loved it so much because there was 144 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 1: no expectations I can like go out there and be athletic, 145 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: be a rebounder and kind of facilitate and just have fun. 146 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: And I really looked forward to after football season kind 147 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: of I always looked at basketball as like this downtime. 148 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna play, have fun, I'm gonna stay 149 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: athletic and competitive as simultaneously gear up for baseball. Was 150 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: always like this mindset of I gotta get ready for 151 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: the baseball season. So you know, looking back on it, it 152 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: was this free play, this recreation, this stuff. But I 153 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: also learned playing basketball as like a rec player, like 154 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: how to be a just a team guy. You know. 155 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: In football, was always the starting quarterback from the time 156 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: every team I ever played on, I was a starting quarterback. 157 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: And in baseball was always a starting catcher. So I 158 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: felt like I always had these expectations, not put on 159 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: me by anyone else, but intrinsically, like I wanted to 160 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: be the guy and all of that. Whereas basketball I 161 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: didn't care as much about that. It was all about 162 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: having fun. So that was my life, my entire life. 163 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: It was either I was either following my brothers around 164 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: to watch them play football and baseball, and then when 165 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: it was my time, it was like all right. And 166 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: I remember one of the biggest things is they want 167 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: the state championship in high school was the first one 168 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: in the city for like fifty years, and it was 169 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: like a big deal, and and and and no one 170 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: in our city had ever won a high school baseball 171 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: state championship. There was six high schools in the city. 172 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: No one ever won. So my goal was I got 173 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: a match with my brothers. By the time I graduated, 174 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: I gotta be on a team that wins the first 175 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: state championship. And I swear to god, that was like 176 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: something I thought about from the time I was like 177 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: in sixth grade all the way through and then we 178 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: ended up, you know, my senior high school winning one, 179 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: and that was a big deal today still to this point, 180 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: it's why I'm such a big believer in the importance 181 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: of high school and scholastic sports. It's like, those are 182 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 1: some of the most I shouldn't even say some there 183 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: are probably the most enjoyable moments of my athletic time. 184 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: Even though I played in college and even a year 185 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: overseas professionally in baseball, like that senior year in particular 186 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: of high school, I still have good friends, but yeah, 187 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: just had the bantering, the camaraderie, the relationships that I developed. 188 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: Those are so sacred to me. So all those pieces 189 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: kind of you know, really spawned my ideology once I 190 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: saw my kids getting into sports and the importance of sports. 191 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 1: So that's I mean, that's high level, you know, high 192 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: school sports for sure, and yet you had the space 193 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: to play three sports through high school, essentially including pickup. 194 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: And I think that's different than what we see now 195 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, and I'm older than you are, 196 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 1: I'm fifty five, and you know, every athlete played three 197 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: sports and then played other sports pick up, and there 198 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,719 Speaker 1: was plenty of space to do that. But that's different now, 199 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: isn't it. 200 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 2: I mean, as a parent, how do you see those differences? 201 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 2: And I presume that's part of why you grew frustrated 202 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 2: and decided, hey, I got to do something about this. 203 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up. Everyone I ever competed against, 204 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: whether it was a football, baseball, or basketball, the best 205 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: of the best, you know, played other sports. I could 206 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: think of you know Tony Ortiz, guy who was the 207 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: Gatory player of the Year in football, who who went 208 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,839 Speaker 1: on a play linebacker at Nebraska. He was a track 209 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 1: All American, played basketball, played everything. Steve Coughlin, who you 210 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: know a lot of people may know from you know, ESPN, Stanford, Steve. 211 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: I played against him in football and Sonia High School. 212 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 1: To dude was he was a freak and every sport 213 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: he ever played, basketball, baseball, football, So that was just 214 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:18,439 Speaker 1: what everyone did. And today everything's turned into year round, right, 215 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: everything's turned into year and now I can't I like 216 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: to go on the record and just say I can't 217 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: tell you that if I grew up in the Southeast, 218 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have played fall baseball like I might have, 219 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: you know, by the time I got to high school. 220 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm glad I didn't because it was just too damn 221 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,079 Speaker 1: cold to play baseball up in the Northeast at that time. 222 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: But once I got to high school, I probably if 223 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: I had that option, I might have, you know, at 224 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: that point. But yeah, I mean that was the norm. 225 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: And it's tough today to navigate with your kids. And 226 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: my wife and I not that we buck the system, 227 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: you know, because I gotta tell you, man, initially, I 228 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: never I never felt pressure to like do that. I 229 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,439 Speaker 1: took it personally, I guess, you know, when I started 230 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: hearing and this is what happened. I was coaching, you know, 231 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: my kids teams, and I was voted to be like 232 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: the all Star coach at seven, U, eight, U nine, 233 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: you And that was a lot of fun. But that's 234 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: when the intensity kind of picks up. It's kind of 235 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: a commitment over the summer, Like the kids get voted 236 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: to the All Star team, and the intensity is it's 237 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: about trying to compete to win at that point, and 238 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 1: that's what kind of everyone signs up for, Like it's 239 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: more of a commitment for All Stars, which was great, 240 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,599 Speaker 1: great experience, but that's when you kind of start. I 241 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: started hearing the the chirping about, well, let's take this 242 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: to the next level, and let's keep this team together, 243 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: and in order to get to the next level, you 244 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: got to play one sport year round. That I would 245 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: hear parents saying that's what I'm being told, and I'd 246 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: be like, well, who the hell is telling you that? 247 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: Because I played with guys who who got to the 248 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: big leagues, who who never did that? And I started 249 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: reaching out to coaches and guys that I know from 250 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: my experience who still are out there right now, and 251 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, am I the only one that sees 252 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: some really interesting ideology? And it was just echoed to 253 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: me like, yeah, we're seeing it, We've been seeing it 254 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 1: for years, You're spot on. We're seeing at the collegiate level. 255 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: It's like transforming of like really opened my eyes to 256 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: these feelings I was having about something not being right 257 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: in youth sports. It validated it, and I'm the type 258 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 1: of person where so what ended up happening was I 259 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: wasn't really on social media at all until like twenty 260 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: fifteen or sixteen. So my wife and I, you know, Amy, 261 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,319 Speaker 1: got connected and she's like, get on Facebook. I'm like, 262 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 1: all right, whatever, and then I started posting and I 263 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: whoever hears this, they may be like shit, I didn't 264 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: realize he was doing that. I intentionally posted some things 265 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: that I knew people were going to see who were 266 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: kind of close to me, that I was probably gonna 267 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: maybe piss off, you know. I started putting some opinions 268 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,319 Speaker 1: out there, and it was it was intentional. I wanted 269 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 1: to see if I was going to get a reaction 270 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: quite frankly, but it was calculated and it got some 271 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: some people hot, and I was like, man, there's something 272 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: to this. Like I'm gonna keep pushing this, and then, 273 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: you know, I once I hear the pushback, that's all 274 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: I need is a little gasoline, and I'm like, well, screwed, 275 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: And this is in my head. I'm going screw you. 276 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna prove everyone wrong and I'm just gonna no 277 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: one's gonna stop me. And and that's kind of what happened. 278 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 1: And then of course, when I have those things going 279 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: on in my head, I need validation, so I reach 280 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: out to people who I know no more than me, 281 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: and when they validated it, it's guns blazon And that's 282 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: kind of what I did. I had no idea, So 283 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: talk about a one hundredth episode. I don't know if 284 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,839 Speaker 1: I ever listened to a podcast before I started this, 285 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: So it's pretty crazy. 286 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, in ninety nine of them, you know, 287 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 2: talking to you know, real stakeholders in the sports industry, 288 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 2: like you know, the best of the best athletes, the 289 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 2: best coaches, and you know, the overwhelming majority seemed to 290 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 2: be agreeing with your perspective. I mean seemed to be 291 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,960 Speaker 2: you know, encouraging diversified you know, sports activities, time and 292 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 2: space to play other sports and cross training and so 293 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 2: on and so forth, not only for you know, the 294 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 2: healthy balance as a person, but also because these athletes 295 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: and coaches actually think that it produces, you know, better performance. 296 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 2: And I think that's that's the irony, because all of 297 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 2: you know, these players and coaches that are at the 298 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 2: level that these parents you're describing are hoping their kids 299 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 2: get to. They're saying don't specialize, and yet this whole 300 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 2: youth sports movement is accelerating towards specialization, and there's just 301 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 2: this massive disconnect. And I think that's sort of what 302 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: brought us together in terms of like trying to shed 303 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 2: some light on that disconnect and trying to trying to encourage, 304 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 2: you know, the restoration of balance basically. 305 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: You know, as you were just describing that, I made 306 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: me think, like, I'm not someone who played at the 307 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: highest of highest levels, right, I'd played with guys who 308 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: got to the highest level. But to me, it's almost 309 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: a common sense thing. Like I was the youngest of three. 310 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: I graduated high school when I was seventeen. I didn't 311 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: turn eighteen, so I was already a freshman, you know, 312 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 1: on campus at college. So in hindsight, I'm like, and 313 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 1: I wish, you know, I wish I was a year 314 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: older or whatever, But it ended up being a blessing. 315 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 1: I guess the reason I'm saying that is like, there's 316 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 1: so many people out there trying to create this narrative, 317 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: you know, this narrative of you know, one way, and 318 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: there's there's something to be said about leaving something in 319 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: the tank. I mean, I think everyone that listens to 320 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 1: this remembers, whether it's their baseball experience, the wrestling experience, basketball, football, 321 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: doesn't matter, that kid who was the best kid in 322 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: their mind in the country at ten to eleven years old, 323 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: and by the time they get to high school they 324 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: weren't even playing anymore. And I specifically remember several in 325 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: baseball who were throwing harder than everybody else, and unfortunately, 326 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: back in the late eighties early nineties, and you know, 327 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: there wasn't as much education on armcare, and the best 328 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: pitchers would throw like every game and their arms would 329 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: blow out, you know. So I'm glad that we've caught up, 330 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: you know, from a baseball standpoint to arm care and 331 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: monitoring pit pitch counts and all that. But everyone remembers 332 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: that kid that was the stud at that early age 333 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: who phased out. So to me, it was just normal 334 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: to think, like if I'm a college coach and I 335 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: never coached a day in college, but it's like, why 336 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't I want a kid who has this broad, diversified 337 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: competitive background, who's excellent in this sport but has never 338 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: locked in on it. What happens when I get here 339 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: or she here and they do lock in on it, 340 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: how much? How much is still left in the tank 341 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: from an upside perspective, So to me, that just made 342 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 1: so much sense. And more importantly than that, I've known 343 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: kids who have burnt out, you know, who got tired 344 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: of it, who were doing it all year own, who 345 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: had external pressure, you know, who had parents that were 346 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 1: really bearing down on them, or you know, whoever was 347 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: bearing down on them, and they got tired of it, 348 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: and they were so talented. And then the more of 349 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: these conversations I had, I realized that that was a 350 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: common theme, and it was like, how is this not 351 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: common sense? But it's it's really not. I actually remember 352 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: when I first started posting the whole you know, the 353 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: importance with multi sport, and someone would always commat I 354 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: don't remember who it is, but anyway, he would always say, 355 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: you're just pushing the agenda, or you're you're trying to 356 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: help the multi sport you know, revenue stream, you know 357 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: you're trying to you You're wrong, You're simply pushing an agenda. 358 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: And I would go agenda like this is how. It 359 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: never dawned on me that that can actually be someone's perspective, 360 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: because to me, it just made so much sense, like balance, 361 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: and why would you want your kid? You know they 362 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,359 Speaker 1: say early to early to ripe, early to rot, you 363 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like the longer the delay. 364 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,439 Speaker 1: And then I found out from all these interviews like 365 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: David Epstein, all these different coaches, like there's science, there's 366 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 1: actually science behind like delaying gratification, like from a physical standpoint, 367 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 1: from a mental health standpoint, like allowing. And it's tough. 368 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: You know, it's tough as a parent because your kid 369 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: will say to you, I really want to do this, 370 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: But I always go back to the quote I read 371 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,919 Speaker 1: about no more Garcia Para. My kids want to eat 372 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 1: ice cream every meal, but I have to be the 373 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,919 Speaker 1: one to tell them no, you know, I can't let 374 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: him do it. And I think the same thing is 375 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: said needs to be done and approach in sports. 376 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, you see posts occasionally where you know an eight 377 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 2: year old has committed to a college program. I mean, 378 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 2: how can an eight year old know that he wants 379 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 2: to go to college, where he wants to go to college, 380 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 2: or even what sport he may want to play in college. 381 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 2: I find that to be unrealistic. And so to your point, 382 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 2: if you're a coach, a college coach, and you're you know, 383 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 2: you're valuing different approaches at the youth sports level. I 384 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,120 Speaker 2: think when you get to the age of eighteen and 385 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,439 Speaker 2: you know why you want to play a particular sport 386 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 2: and you know what drives you to get better at 387 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 2: that sport, then that is much more reliable than the 388 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 2: kid who has only played the one sport was told 389 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 2: that that's what you ought to do. And you know 390 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 2: you've mentioned burnout for sure, burnout, but also just in 391 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 2: terms of the drive that you have understanding what you're 392 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 2: going to get out of that sport. I think an 393 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 2: athlete that has come to it on his or her 394 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: own is going to be I think much better position 395 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 2: to you know, play at the collegiate level or just 396 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,719 Speaker 2: to take the sport as far as they can. You know, 397 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 2: I think we all have seen maybe not all I 398 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 2: know you have because your client is Michael Phelps, but 399 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 2: like and I'm sure you've seen it in your own, 400 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 2: you know, athletic career yourself. We've all seen the outliers. 401 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: You know, I saw and competed against kids from an 402 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,200 Speaker 1: early age and now even as a father, my kids 403 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: will compete and I'm like, oh my god. We all 404 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: know when we see a kid that's different, you know 405 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: that really at like twelve, thirteen, fourteen, you're like, wow, 406 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: that just looks different, that sounds different. But those kids 407 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: are outlined my kids. You know, my son Mark's who's 408 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,679 Speaker 1: going to be seven, he takes piano lessons, right, he 409 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: just likes it. Right, He's taking little piano lessons. You know, 410 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,960 Speaker 1: he's not the next Beethoven, right. But my point is 411 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 1: how many parents take their kids to piano lessons or 412 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: gymnastics lessons or sign them up for baseball and get told, wow, 413 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: your kid might be special. You know your kid if 414 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 1: we do this at this year, you know whatever it is, 415 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 1: if we start coming in for private lessons and doing 416 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: this like there's a chance that they can go like 417 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: that's I'm sorry. But the outliers aren't that they're outliers 418 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,199 Speaker 1: for reason. There's not that many kids that are the 419 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 1: next Michael Phelps, that are the next you know whoever, 420 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: Walker Jenkins who got just drafted down here from from 421 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: you know, Southport, North Carolina, who we had on the podcast, 422 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 1: who got drafted fifth overall in the Major League Baseball Draft. 423 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 1: You know, a month or two ago. Everyone knew at 424 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 1: twelve or thirteen, when you saw that kid, it was different. 425 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 1: You know, they're different. Now it's easy to sell a 426 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: parent that their kid can be different. And got I 427 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 1: got to tell you, man, I know a little bit 428 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,639 Speaker 1: about selling. I know a little bit about marketing. Like 429 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: if I wanted to go into that business, that's exactly 430 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 1: what I would do. And so so cautionary tale parents, 431 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: like that's what I would do. Like I would tell everyone, man, 432 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,719 Speaker 1: if you lock in on you know Seth Pepper, right, 433 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 1: he was a guest on our on our podcast. He's 434 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: my brother in law. He was, I guess a millisecond 435 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: away from being Olympian. He's a Hall of Famer University 436 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: of Arizona swimmer, all these things. He brings his daughter 437 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: to gymnastics, and you know, a couple of years ago 438 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: he told me, I think he mentioned on the podcast. 439 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: He's like, they pulled me aside and he goes, Nick, 440 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 1: they started telling me like, hey, she's special, and he 441 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: stopped him. He goes, hey, I know, and he said 442 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 1: I wasn't rude, but I let him know, like I 443 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: know what it's like to be in this arena and 444 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,919 Speaker 1: to know, like, my child is going to have a childhood. 445 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 1: I know it, you know, and I appreciate what you're saying. 446 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: But he stopped because of his experience, he was able 447 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,159 Speaker 1: to stop them in their tracks and kind of not 448 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: take the bait. Not to say that that person was 449 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: coming at him with bad intentions, because that's not always 450 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 1: the case, But how do we know who do we 451 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: have to weed people out? There are people with a 452 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: that aren't in your kid's best interest, and as a parent, 453 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,360 Speaker 1: it's very easy to take debait. And what parent wants 454 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: to be the one to not give their kid the 455 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 1: best opportunity. So I think that's what people are juggling 456 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 1: is the bad apples, right, those who don't have their 457 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: kids or their family's best interests in mine versus those 458 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 1: who who really are trying to look out for the 459 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 1: best interest. And it's borderline like it's very easy to 460 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: pray on a parent's emotions. And that's what kind of 461 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: pissed me off in the very beginning. I'm like, man, 462 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 1: if there's one place we don't want to taint, like, 463 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: don't taint youth sports because it was so important to me. 464 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 1: When we return, I open up about a time I 465 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: took my son's youth baseball game a little too seriously 466 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: and reflect on what I would do differently with the 467 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: knowledge and tools I have today. Where we left off, 468 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,479 Speaker 1: Peter and I were about to talk about empowering parents 469 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: to make informed decisions and the positive impact these choices 470 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: can have not only on your kid, but also on 471 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,120 Speaker 1: your entire family. 472 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that you know, as a culture, 473 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 2: we don't ask ourselves frequently enough what's the point of sports? 474 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 2: What's the purpose? What's the value? We just assume that 475 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 2: if if you can, if you're if you're the parent, 476 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 2: and a coach comes up to you and says your 477 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 2: kids special, then you should throw everything aside and that 478 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 2: becomes the priority. But why, I mean the clients that 479 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,399 Speaker 2: I have, these are clients that actually can make a 480 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 2: living by being that good at sports. But they're like, 481 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 2: if you look at the statistics, I mean, it's it's 482 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 2: not the wisest choice to take that path because so 483 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:39,439 Speaker 2: few athletes can get a college scholarship, can be paid 484 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 2: to play that sport. And so if you think about it, 485 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 2: whether it's you know, gymnastics or hitting a baseball or whatever, 486 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,880 Speaker 2: those skills only have you know, such a lifespan, right, 487 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,439 Speaker 2: I mean, when was the last time you, you know, 488 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 2: derived any value out of hitting a baseball? 489 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: Right? 490 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 2: But you had an amazing experience. You learned these lessons, 491 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 2: you applied it to your life, and as you say, 492 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,400 Speaker 2: it helped you to get an education, even though that 493 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 2: might not have been a scholarship situation because it was 494 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 2: D three. But for baseball, maybe you wouldn't have gone 495 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 2: to college. There are many different reasons why sports is valuable, 496 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 2: but I don't think we think about those things and 497 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 2: really reflect upon them. In my and this goes to 498 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 2: sort of how we came together. But to me, I 499 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 2: don't know anybody that has gotten more out of sports 500 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 2: than me. I'm sure that there are plenty of people 501 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,400 Speaker 2: out there that would say the very same thing, which 502 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 2: is terrific, right, But for me, there's nothing I enjoy more. 503 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 2: I enjoyed it as I was a kid. I played 504 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,160 Speaker 2: competitively all the way through college, and then I kept 505 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 2: on playing sports. I still play sports now and I've 506 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 2: made a living in sports. And so when I had kids, 507 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 2: what I wanted for them was a similar experience. And 508 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,479 Speaker 2: so you know, that meant playing multiple sports. That meant 509 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 2: you know, exposure to all sorts of different things, and 510 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 2: it didn't mean, well, let's see how far you can 511 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 2: go in any particular sport and let's specialize. And what 512 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 2: I found was that you had to buck the system 513 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 2: in order to do that. It was very, very hard. 514 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 2: Up here in Maine, I played ice hockey. My kids 515 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 2: were into ice hockey. Had I built the rink in 516 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 2: the backyard, I mean it was it was great. And 517 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,959 Speaker 2: because hockey up here is probably it dominates the schedule. Mean, 518 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 2: it's like nine months out of the year, and you 519 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 2: can you can do twelve months, but even at the 520 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 2: age of like seven, it's you know, it starts up 521 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 2: in August and you're not done until like May. And 522 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 2: because my kids wanted to play soccer as well, and 523 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 2: I wanted them to play soccer, like I had to 524 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 2: basically battle with the hockey program in order to, you know, 525 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 2: create space for them to play soccer. And and it 526 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,159 Speaker 2: was really impossible because even if you were able to 527 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 2: do that, the kids were going to be disadvantaged within 528 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: the hockey program. And so so I found that to 529 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 2: be like completely nonsensical that like what I saw to 530 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 2: be a very healthy approach to sports, and and what 531 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 2: my athletes and the coaches that I work with, many 532 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 2: of whom you know, are at the level of the 533 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: people that you've spoken to for the ninety nine episodes 534 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 2: of your podcast. They would all say, yeah, that's what 535 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 2: you want. You want you want them to play at 536 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 2: that age, certainly multiple sports. And despite you know, my perspective, 537 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 2: I really was very very hard to like provide them 538 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,400 Speaker 2: that experience. And in the end, because they did love 539 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,120 Speaker 2: to play hockey, you know, and they played with these 540 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 2: other sports. What was the sport that they bailed on 541 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 2: in high school hockey? And when you asked why, they 542 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: were burnt out, they were over it. The fun was gone. 543 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 2: It was because you had to do it. Fortunately, they 544 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 2: found other sports. But I think we're doing our kids 545 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 2: a massive disservice in just reflexively like jumping into the 546 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 2: flow and saying, okay, well, they have to specialize. This 547 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 2: is what we're being told, this is how the system 548 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,959 Speaker 2: is set up, and forcing these kids to choose between 549 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 2: sports at the age of seven. And unfortunately, because that 550 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 2: is the momentum of the system, we've got to advocate 551 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 2: for change. We've got to like change the mindset of 552 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 2: the parents, of the coaches, of the administrators, of the leagues, 553 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 2: of the schools, and it's a real uphill battle because 554 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 2: as I've seen it all the way through, you know, 555 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,080 Speaker 2: the high school level, that imbalance is just baked into it. 556 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 2: Would you agree with that? 557 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean absolutely, And I think it's 558 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: important to understand, like there's not one way, and that 559 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: was one of my main driving forces starting event. There's 560 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: not one way to go about this, right, Everyone's situation 561 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: is different, and we're not I'm not trying to shove 562 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 1: an agenda down someone's throat. However, just to your point, 563 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: and you kind of mentioned it earlier, like we're trying. 564 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,679 Speaker 1: I'm trying, through reformed sports to help people make the 565 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,640 Speaker 1: most informed decision. Right, So you talked about fucking the system, 566 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: Like what would give someone the confidence to feel good 567 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 1: about that, right because they're getting that pressure of and 568 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: my kid gonna miss out or you know, I'm being 569 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: told this. Well, let me listen to these fifty episodes, 570 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 1: let me let me, let me listen to what Nix says, 571 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: let me read these blocks, let me read this newsletter, 572 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: so I can make the most informed decision, Like I 573 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: don't have to listen to to Johnny uh, Johnny X 574 00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: minor leaguer, Who's who's strong arm And I say strong army. 575 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: It's probably not, but he could be strong arming me 576 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,399 Speaker 1: into making me feel as though I need to do 577 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 1: baseball year round, whatever the sport is, it's every freaking sport. 578 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: It's like I need to have the information to be 579 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 1: able to know what's the best case scenario for myself 580 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: as a parent and my child and my family. And 581 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: I know my wife and I we have six kids, 582 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 1: so like we are limited to what we can do 583 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,360 Speaker 1: from a time management perspective. Now, our oldest, you know, 584 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: just went to college and is wrestling there, and my 585 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 1: others are like entrenched in youth sports. Right now, I've 586 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: got two again, a five and a seven year old 587 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: that are just doing little kid soccer, and then my 588 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: son's gonna my nine year old's gonna do fall baseball. 589 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: He'll he loves basketball, baseball, across everything. But like we're limited, right, 590 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 1: so we can't do all into one kid, and I 591 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: don't want to. The minute we start feeling like really overwhelmed, 592 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: and we're overwhelmed because we have a lot of kids 593 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: that should be a signal. Like I see people all 594 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: the time who once their kids get to middle school 595 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: and they can play at least down here in wimingto 596 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: North Carolina, they can start playing middle school baseball. So 597 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 1: now they're on this is like a normal situation. They're 598 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: on a rec baseball team, they're on a travel baseball team, 599 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: and then they start playing middle school baseball. They're on 600 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 1: three teams at the same that's three different schedules. That's 601 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: three different you know, practice schedules, game schedules, you know, 602 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: running around less than two each his own. But at 603 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: some point, if it's gonna make you miserable, make it 604 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: like you got to think about it, and that might 605 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: be okay for somebody, but it also might run someone 606 00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: into the ground. So the point is is knowing that 607 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: coaches at the collegiate level, professionals have the information that 608 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: we've talked about in podcasts that can tell you you 609 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: don't need to feel the pressure, you don't need to 610 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: play year round, you don't have to play baseball whatever 611 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: the sport is, all year long, from the time that 612 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: you're ten pill whatever. And then there are some that 613 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: will say once you get to a certain age, once 614 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: you get into high school. Once you get into freshman's 615 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 1: sophomore year, as you're getting closer and you really have 616 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: a desire to playing college, that may be a time 617 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: to hey, I'm playing three sports, now it's time to 618 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: go down to two, you know type thing. Or maybe hey, 619 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: I might get drafted or I might have a chance, 620 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: like I'm going to start training during the year and 621 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: playing baseball year round, And there's data and science behind that. 622 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: So it's important for people to understand, like we want 623 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: you to make the most informed decision. How many times 624 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 1: you go buy a car and you're shopping, you're looking 625 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 1: at the fact checks and all this stuff and pricing 626 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: and do the same thing like like look up this organization, 627 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: Like look up that organization, find out what are they about? 628 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,080 Speaker 1: Are the coaches about development? Like what are they about? 629 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: You know, I think it's important for people to make 630 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: an active interest and vetting the folks who are going 631 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: to be leaders of their child throughout their their sport process. 632 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense making 633 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 2: an informed decision. I mean, so many parents, will you know, 634 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 2: complain to me about this, the pressure that they feel 635 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 2: to do all, you know, to play on three different 636 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 2: teams to spend the money to do the travel program, 637 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 2: and that they have no time to go on a 638 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 2: family vacation, let's say, and that they're afraid that if 639 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 2: they don't do that that their kid's going to be disadvantaged. 640 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,640 Speaker 2: I mean, what advice do you have, you know, to 641 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 2: those parents, because if they're trying to make an informed decision, 642 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 2: that decision is like do I disadvantage my kid so 643 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 2: that this coach, you know, he's out of favor with 644 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 2: this coach that also coaches maybe the school team, or 645 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 2: has some other involvement in the community, and there's there 646 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 2: is a tremendous pressure. It's tough to make that decision. So, 647 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 2: having been through it, what's your advice to those parents? 648 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: That's a question. But my perspective is skewed from my 649 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 1: personal experience. And why is that because I grew up 650 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,239 Speaker 1: in the Northeast, Because I'm going to be forty four 651 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: years old in a couple of weeks. I didn't grow 652 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: up with endless amounts of time to play sport. I 653 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: wasn't on multiple teams. So for me, like I remember 654 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: we were on a we went to like I don't 655 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 1: even know where this is Hampton Beach and now we're 656 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: on this little vacation. It's like a boardwalk there or something. 657 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: That was like big living for me. But anyway we're there. 658 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: My brother had you know, my brother is going to 659 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: be a senior. They were starting like spring football or 660 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 1: something like that or summer football whatever, and it was 661 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 1: important in my family. You're going home like you're going 662 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,320 Speaker 1: you're going to be a captain. You're gone like you're 663 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,280 Speaker 1: going to football. And my brother wanted to so from 664 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 1: for us the way I grew up, if you were 665 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: on a team. Now, well again, we didn't take vacations. 666 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 1: Like I said, that was like a few times in 667 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: my life. I can remember going to Hampton Beach. It 668 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 1: wasn't like a luxurious vacation, but we wouldn't schedule them 669 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: if there were big things from our athletic like that was. 670 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: I will tell you, Like today kids are on so 671 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,680 Speaker 1: many teams, there's so many tournaments. Everything's watered down that 672 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 1: like who cares if you missed a timbucktoo local tournament, 673 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: Like it's different. It's different today than it was. It 674 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 1: is water down And I don't know if it's good 675 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: or bad, but I know for me, and what I 676 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 1: would be for my kids, Like my son's a wrestler, 677 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: My kids are older kids are wrestlers, Like, then that's 678 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: their sport, that's their sports that they take seriously. I 679 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 1: would never advocate for them to miss something for their 680 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: high school team, Like I would never know you're doing that. 681 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 1: So I think it's a it's a juggling act, but 682 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: I think it's finding. Like for me, it's like whatever 683 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 1: sport is in season, right, Let's say you play football 684 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 1: and baseball and you're in and it's spring, and I've 685 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: talked to coaches who have mentioned this. Or if you're 686 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: on a travel team and it's during high school, right, 687 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 1: let's say it's travel and high school baseball. Travel coaches 688 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 1: have told me, when it's high school season, high school's 689 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,719 Speaker 1: priority and they talk to their kids about that. I 690 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 1: know two coaches that have told me that, who run 691 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: pretty I've interviewed, and both have had pretty nationally known organizations. 692 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 1: Andy Parton and Jeff Petty have said when it's high 693 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 1: school season, that takes precedence over travel, and then comes summertime, 694 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: like the flip flop is there. But it's like those 695 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 1: are conversations we have with the parents. So how I 696 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 1: navigate is is like, if you're in season. What I 697 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 1: mean by in season. If I'm a parent and I 698 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: pull my kid off of a tournament and it's in season, 699 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: this is just my perspective, right or wrong. I think 700 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,840 Speaker 1: I'm screwing over the rest of the kids. That's just me. 701 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 1: Now again, I think that there's age appropriateness seven, eight, 702 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 1: nine years old, unless you're trying to get to the 703 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 1: Little League worldshit, whatever the hell. You know, if it's 704 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,799 Speaker 1: very important and you signed up for this short timeframe, 705 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: then commit to it. But if it's if you're seven 706 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,640 Speaker 1: years old and your family wants to go on a 707 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,799 Speaker 1: vacation and you're going to miss a rec ball game, 708 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 1: the freaking missed a rec ball game? Does that make 709 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: any sense? 710 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're right. High school's kind of a 711 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,719 Speaker 2: different situation. I think because to your point, I mean, 712 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 2: I think as you get through this, you know, you 713 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 2: can make an informed decision and you start to you know, 714 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 2: kids understand why they want to play a particular sport 715 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 2: over another, and you're also making a commitment to the 716 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,960 Speaker 2: team in the program. But when you're ten years old, 717 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 2: there is like there's a tendency now for ten year 718 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 2: olds even to play year round, for ten year olds 719 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,600 Speaker 2: to play on multiple teams, right, so you know, you 720 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 2: could be playing on a travel team, you could be playing, 721 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 2: you know, doing a clinic, you could be playing on 722 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 2: the school team, even if it's off season. And at 723 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 2: ten years old for a parent to be shelling out 724 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 2: that money and to feel as though if they don't 725 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 2: make that a priority and somehow accommodate this child's you know, 726 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,040 Speaker 2: three different teams at the age of ten, that they'll 727 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 2: be doing their kid a disservice and that the kid 728 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 2: will have a disadvantage in that sport. And coaches it's 729 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,279 Speaker 2: like you can say you're going to pull them from 730 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 2: you know, to go on vacation. Well, I can tell 731 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,799 Speaker 2: you the coach won't like that, right, yeah, I mean 732 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 2: other parents won't like that, Other kids won't like that. 733 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 2: So there is real pressure at that level. And if 734 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 2: you have more than one kid, you just think about 735 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:10,360 Speaker 2: the you know, the commitment required of a family to 736 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 2: accommodate that level of Frankly, it is specialization at the 737 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 2: age of ten. And I think that when what I 738 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 2: hear from parents is they take issue with that. But 739 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 2: they don't know what to do about it because they 740 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,800 Speaker 2: as parents, they want to do right by their child, 741 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:32,319 Speaker 2: and all of the signs suggests that they need to 742 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,279 Speaker 2: allow for this kid to participate on three teams at 743 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 2: the same time and to buck that system. They're afraid 744 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 2: that they're pulling their kid out of the sport essentially, 745 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 2: and I guess that's where I don't know what to 746 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,719 Speaker 2: tell them, because you know, in my mind, you have 747 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 2: to change the culture, you have to change the system 748 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 2: so that that that's not such a problem if your 749 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,160 Speaker 2: kid doesn't play three sports. But I do think that 750 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,600 Speaker 2: there's a tendency nowadays for that to be commonplace and 751 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,319 Speaker 2: for parents to feel real pressure that they need to 752 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,799 Speaker 2: allow for their kids to do that. 753 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: So I remember, hence the name reform. So I remember 754 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,759 Speaker 1: when my son Tyler was seven and it was all 755 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: he's playing wreck baseball and it's actually kind of it 756 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: doesn't bother me, but I learned from it my dad 757 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,400 Speaker 1: at Stage four camp. She end up passing away like 758 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,520 Speaker 1: five months later, but like he was down there, this 759 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,520 Speaker 1: was a vacation my brother and my whole family would 760 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 1: put together go down a Myrtle, whole family together and 761 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,799 Speaker 1: that's only an hour and a half from me. And 762 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,799 Speaker 1: we had a wreck baseball game and I wasn't I 763 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 1: was an assistant coach, but I was like, man, this 764 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 1: is a great opportunity for my dad to go see 765 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,920 Speaker 1: Tyler play. You know, chance Starr is going to pass 766 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: and YadA, YadA YadA, and you know, I remember my 767 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,200 Speaker 1: brother being like, dude, miss the game, Like what are 768 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 1: you doing? Like he's seven, Like why are you going 769 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,200 Speaker 1: to drag dad up there? I'm like, no, no, no, no, 770 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 1: he can't miss the game, like dad wants to see it. 771 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,879 Speaker 1: And my dad, you wouldn't tell me he didn't want 772 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: to trun an hour and a half to go watch 773 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: the seven you machine pitch baseball game. But rest as shirt. 774 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: I clearly I'm talking about it because it bothers me. 775 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,440 Speaker 1: But yeah I did that, you know what I mean? 776 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,760 Speaker 1: And for no other reason than I thought, like you don't. 777 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 1: But like my perspective has changed. I would never do that, 778 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,560 Speaker 1: not just because my dad was sick with cancer, but 779 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 1: because no one gives a shit about a seven U 780 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 1: baseball game. No one cares about an eight U baseball game. 781 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,359 Speaker 1: No one cares like I have a seventeen year old. Now, yeah, 782 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,920 Speaker 1: when you're in that moment, it's a little bit different, 783 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 1: you know, especially your first kid. I know, I made 784 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 1: my most mistakes with my older kids, right, think, you know, 785 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:35,800 Speaker 1: in many ways, Thank god I get a chance to 786 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: write the ship a little bit in some ways. Right, 787 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: But that's a good example of me taking it a 788 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 1: little bit too serious. And I'm not the only one. 789 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,479 Speaker 1: Like I thought I was doing the right thing, Like no, no, 790 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,000 Speaker 1: we made a commitment. We got made a commitment to 791 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 1: a seven game. My son played like an inning, like 792 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,640 Speaker 1: it wasn't even a big deal. But the point is 793 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: there has to be rational perspective. If I am jeopardizing 794 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 1: a vacation, you know, that incorporates my entire family, and 795 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,759 Speaker 1: it's disruptive, Like that's probably making it more about me. 796 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 1: And that's what I did. Wasn't my son beaten down 797 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:06,759 Speaker 1: the wall? Go I really want to go to this game? 798 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 1: No idea. So that's to me as an example of 799 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 1: kind of the distorted thinking that you can get wrapped 800 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,640 Speaker 1: up in and kind of living vicariously through your kid. 801 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,760 Speaker 1: You know, like my ego at one point was tied 802 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: into it, and that's a hard thing to recognize. When 803 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 1: you're caught up in it. But it's a stupid story. 804 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,239 Speaker 1: But to give it, I would never do that again. 805 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 1: I'll put it do that one. 806 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 2: Well, when nine year olds are committing to play in college, 807 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 2: you know, as a parent, you've got to be able 808 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 2: to say, well, that's great, but I don't need to 809 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,320 Speaker 2: feel as though something that my kid should be doing. 810 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's the thing. You look on social media, 811 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,760 Speaker 1: it's like, well, so and so is getting offer at twelve, 812 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 1: like we can't miss this eight nine new game, And 813 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 1: you know, it sounds as we're now with my perspective, 814 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,759 Speaker 1: it's like, it sounds kind of ludicrous to think that, 815 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,040 Speaker 1: but it's very, very real and it's emotion that people 816 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 1: are feeling on a daily basis. 817 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 2: So yeah, and I think that, you know, my advice 818 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:04,720 Speaker 2: on that would be listen to reform sports podcasts. Listen 819 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,160 Speaker 2: to them, listen to the coaches, listen to the athletes, 820 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 2: and from all of that you will understand why it's 821 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 2: not important for your child to commit to play a 822 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 2: particular sport at a particular school at the age of twelve. 823 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,520 Speaker 2: And that's available now. I mean, it's like I think 824 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 2: that you know, going back to Reform Sports Project. I 825 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,319 Speaker 2: think that that's the work that you've done. 826 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,320 Speaker 1: I mean, that's. 827 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:36,319 Speaker 2: Ninety nine podcasts, ninety nine perspectives, and it's available, and 828 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 2: to me, that's a great service to parents, to kids, 829 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,520 Speaker 2: to coaches, and you know, all you have to do 830 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,560 Speaker 2: is listen to these you know, these are people that 831 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,440 Speaker 2: have lived it, that understand it, and you can, I think, 832 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,120 Speaker 2: derive some I don't know, some strength, and it'll empower 833 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 2: parents to make that hard decision, even though in the 834 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,640 Speaker 2: moment it may feel as though you know you're sort 835 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 2: of disadvantaging your child because all of the other parents, 836 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 2: you know, are signing their kids up for three different 837 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 2: teams and pouring all of their time and money into 838 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,480 Speaker 2: those programs. You can make an informed decision based on 839 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 2: a different perspective, and I think that's really important in 840 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:21,880 Speaker 2: terms of what you've done through Reformed Sports Project. You know, 841 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,680 Speaker 2: it's funny, this is a question I would ask to 842 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,600 Speaker 2: a parent. You know, obviously we're not going to get 843 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,120 Speaker 2: an answer her, but it's something to think about it. It's 844 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,319 Speaker 2: like you're bringing your kids to a school. You know, 845 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,759 Speaker 2: maybe you're choosing which school to you send your kids, 846 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:33,880 Speaker 2: and maybe you have to send them to. 847 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: A certain school. Who knows? But do you do some 848 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,040 Speaker 1: due diligence? You know, do you figure out the pros 849 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 1: and cons of that school? You know a lot of 850 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: people are very conscientious of their diet, especially the food 851 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,799 Speaker 1: they give their kids. Is that something? Do you look 852 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,880 Speaker 1: up the data? Do you find out the information? Do 853 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,719 Speaker 1: you try to figure out so you can make the 854 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,200 Speaker 1: most informed decision? Can you make a house purchase, you 855 00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 1: make a car purchase? You know, you make it a 856 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 1: financial decision of any sort. I would think most people 857 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,000 Speaker 1: who are concerned about the result of that, or I 858 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,319 Speaker 1: have a vested interest, would try to gather as much 859 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:08,280 Speaker 1: information to make the most informed decision. Don't just sign 860 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,400 Speaker 1: your kid up for a team because you know, Johnny 861 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,440 Speaker 1: Appleseed's parents said, you know, oh the coach is great. 862 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,880 Speaker 1: Like do your homework, do your due diligence. Listen to 863 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,239 Speaker 1: the pod find out perspective. Because the guests that we 864 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 1: have on have resumes, they have legit resumes at the 865 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:29,759 Speaker 1: highest levels. That would give you insight for free, you know, 866 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: So why wouldn't you take advantage of that? You know, 867 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 1: why wouldn't you want access to that information to just 868 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: if anything else, be able to have a perspective and 869 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,120 Speaker 1: the opportunity when you get to a crossroad, you know, 870 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,359 Speaker 1: to be able to know which way you should turn, 871 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 1: because you only get one shot. And let's face it, 872 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,320 Speaker 1: it all starts at home, you know, with parents and guardians. 873 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 1: You know, with the influence that we have on the kids. 874 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: But what are the next people that are around it? Right, 875 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:59,800 Speaker 1: they're teachers, their coaches. Don't ever underestimate the impact of 876 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,600 Speaker 1: a it could make or break. I have some coaches 877 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,839 Speaker 1: that have unbelievable relationships to this day twenty five thirty 878 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 1: years later, and I have some I wouldn't want to 879 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,040 Speaker 1: be within a half a mile of And that's okay, 880 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,880 Speaker 1: But don't underestimate the impact a coach can have on 881 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:19,480 Speaker 1: a kid. Find out the information, find out the data, 882 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,279 Speaker 1: and I think we have a library of content that 883 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,840 Speaker 1: can help you do that. Thanks for joining us for 884 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:28,040 Speaker 1: our one hundredth episode. Peter and I continue our conversation 885 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: next week, where we dive further into our goals for 886 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,760 Speaker 1: reform Sports and the future of the youth sports industry. 887 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,879 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Reform Sports Podcast. If you've 888 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,279 Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode, we would appreciate it if you took 889 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,440 Speaker 1: a moment to rate and review our podcast. As we 890 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 1: work to grow our community of supporters and advocates for 891 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,840 Speaker 1: more reform sports content, please subscribe to our newsletter and 892 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 1: blog at Reformsports Project dot com. You can also follow 893 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,920 Speaker 1: us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.