Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Donald
Speaker 1: Trump is now getting into bed with a convicted pedophile, figuratively.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump has already cut a deal with a pedophile,
Speaker 1: a two day deal to protect a pedophile, to protect
Speaker 1: Glane Maxwell from being prosecuted. And I don't care if
Speaker 1: that's standard for people in jail for twenty years for
Speaker 1: the sexual abuse of children. It's two days of immunity.
Speaker 1: It's immunity. It is immunity, and the direction of Donald Trump. Immunity.
Speaker 1: What may be a precursor to a deal, what may
Speaker 1: be a precursor to a pardon, what may be a
Speaker 1: precursor to her walking out of jail any time earlier
Speaker 1: than the year two thousand and thirty seven. The latest
Speaker 1: from the Trump's teen disaster is Donald Trump is figuratively
Speaker 1: getting into bed with a pedophile. You're not making a
Speaker 1: deal with You're not giving brief immunity. Two. You're not
Speaker 1: maybe pardoning a Paul Manifort for vague financial crimes that,
Speaker 1: as bad as they are, you have to look them
Speaker 1: up because the only vibe you get is vague financial crime.
Speaker 1: You are not pardoning Denesh Desuza for being stupid while Republican.
Speaker 1: You're not commuting the sentence of Rod effing Bologoyevitch or
Speaker 1: promising to pardon Pete Rose even though it's three months
Speaker 1: and he still hasn't pardoned Pete Rose. So if you
Speaker 1: bet the under you lose. This is sending the Attorney
Speaker 1: General's deputy, previously one of your own personal scumbag sleezebag
Speaker 1: Trump shill lawyer mouthpieces to meet with a convicted sex
Speaker 1: trafficker and child rapist who is not eligible to be
Speaker 1: released until she is seventy six god damned years old,
Speaker 1: and giving her two days worth of temporary immunity in
Speaker 1: which she can't be further prosecuted for anything she said
Speaker 1: to him. Trump, you have already cut a deal with
Speaker 1: a pedophile. You, Todd Blanche, You are already figuratively in
Speaker 1: bed with a pedophile. You, Donald Trump, are already figuratively
Speaker 1: in bed with a pedophile. And you Trump supporters and
Speaker 1: blind Maga cult slaves and Republicans in the House and
Speaker 1: the Senate, you are all already figuratively in bed with
Speaker 1: a pedophile. Two weeks ago, two weeks ago today, one
Speaker 1: of Trump's other personal scumbags sleezbag Shill lawyer Mouthpieces. The
Speaker 1: now Solicitor General of the United States, John Sour told
Speaker 1: the Supreme Court to reject Glaine Maxwell's appeal of her
Speaker 1: twenty year sentence. Trump's attorney reminded the Supreme Court that
Speaker 1: the former prosecutor had said, Gallaine Maxwell is guilty of
Speaker 1: one of the worst crimes imaginable, facilitating and participating in
Speaker 1: the sexual abuse of children. That was two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: But sure, make a deal. Art of the deal. Trump's
Speaker 1: the great deal maker. Make the deal with the rapist
Speaker 1: of children, of the woman who essentially held the girls down.
Speaker 1: Make the deal with the woman who sold the children
Speaker 1: to the rapists. Make that deal, Trump, deal maker. And
Speaker 1: you know Trump what that deal is called. It is
Speaker 1: called selling your soul to the devil. If you had
Speaker 1: any soul left to sell you, Donald Trump and all
Speaker 1: of you who support him, stand on the precipice. This
Speaker 1: is not the effing access Hollywood tape. This is not
Speaker 1: even the January sixth Pardons. You are figuratively getting into
Speaker 1: bed with Gallaine Maxwell, and by extension, with Jeffrey Epstein.
Speaker 1: You are figuratively getting into bed with pedophiles right now.
Speaker 1: You are figuratively getting into bed with the process of
Speaker 1: covering up pedophilia. Your shoes are already off. I don't
Speaker 1: care who under prosecuted this in the past and which
Speaker 1: political group demanded prosecutions when and then went silent as
Speaker 1: MAGA did. This is about now and today and now
Speaker 1: and today. Trump has already made a deal with a
Speaker 1: pedophile about pedophilia, and Trump's deputy attorney general has already
Speaker 1: made a deal with a pedophile about pedophilia, and Trump's
Speaker 1: supporters have thus already made a deal with a pedophile
Speaker 1: about pedophilia. There is now no way out of Trumpstein
Speaker 1: for Trump. The only question remains is there a way
Speaker 1: out of Trumpstein for Trump's supporters? And this will only
Speaker 1: get worse because if Trump tries to hide behind Gallaine
Speaker 1: Maxwell in some way, Gallaine Maxwell lying or Gallaine Maxwell fabricating,
Speaker 1: or Gallaine Maxwell telling the truth, Trump becomes pro pedophilia.
Speaker 1: We who abhor him always have to remind ourselves to
Speaker 1: treat Trump as if he is carry White from the
Speaker 1: movie Carrie dead and buried and still reaching out to
Speaker 1: try to drag Amy, irving to hell with her. He
Speaker 1: could have some plan we can't see, it's the only
Speaker 1: thing he's good at. He could have some plan. We
Speaker 1: can't see, some plan to use Elaine Maxwell in some
Speaker 1: way that clears him and implicates I don't know Jerome Powell.
Speaker 1: But if not, all Trump will get out of Todd
Speaker 1: Blanche's two day trip to see her is a whole
Speaker 1: new series of octopus tentacles, or to stick to just
Speaker 1: one analogy, here a whole new set of Carrie's arms
Speaker 1: reaching up from hell to take Trump with her. And
Speaker 1: even if he has some plan, he is his administration
Speaker 1: is right now on Gallaine Maxwell's side, and anything from
Speaker 1: here other than totally repudiating her is Trump walking blindfolded
Speaker 1: through a live minefield. Because, apart from the court of law,
Speaker 1: uselessness of Gallaine Maxwell, so useless that one expert remarked
Speaker 1: that we're Jeffrey Epstein, still alive and trying to defend
Speaker 1: himself today, and Maxwell was I's going to help him
Speaker 1: defend himself. His lawyer would never let her testify. She
Speaker 1: isn't just damaged goods, but legally she is burnt to
Speaker 1: a cinder goods. She is a proven perjurer. But this
Speaker 1: is not a court of law. This is Trump's existential
Speaker 1: trump Stein crisis unlike anything he has been through in
Speaker 1: at least the last ten years. It could dry up
Speaker 1: this week, it has still done damage to him that
Speaker 1: nothing else previously has done, not even January sixth. This
Speaker 1: is Trump's existential crisis and his desperate effort to win
Speaker 1: back any any of the eighty three percent of Americans
Speaker 1: who are not approving how he is handling trump Stein.
Speaker 1: And it blows up those landmines, blowho up. Trump blows
Speaker 1: himself up with these simple truths, the first of them
Speaker 1: underscored yesterday my Michael A. Cohen, not the ex Trump lawyer,
Speaker 1: the guy from the Center for Strategic Studies at Tufts.
Speaker 1: Michael A. Cohen notes, if Gleainne Maxwell had had any
Speaker 1: information that could have reduced her sentence for child sex trafficking,
Speaker 1: why didn't she provide it before they prosecuted her, before
Speaker 1: they convicted her, before they sentenced her to twenty years,
Speaker 1: before she eliminated herself as a possible witness in Epstein's defense,
Speaker 1: before Epstein saw no other way but suicide. Oh, I'll
Speaker 1: just hold this other information back and go to the
Speaker 1: penitentiary for three years. Three years. Last Friday. By the way,
Speaker 1: I'll just wake them all out. That'll show them I'm
Speaker 1: playing the long game. Three years in the big house,
Speaker 1: much better than telling somebody what I know that could
Speaker 1: keep me out of the big house. She has nothing
Speaker 1: both new and true. The second truth, as mentioned two
Speaker 1: weeks ago, Trump's DOJ argued against her appeal Trump's DOJ
Speaker 1: two weeks ago to the Supreme Court two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: The third truth. She is convicted of committing heinous crimes
Speaker 1: against children. The official Department of Justice records dating back
Speaker 1: to the first Trump administration brand her a perpetrator of
Speaker 1: sexual crimes against children. These people are by definition not
Speaker 1: just no longer credible. Nobody wants to be in the
Speaker 1: same room with them. The fourth truth. In her own defense,
Speaker 1: Gallainne Maxwell refused to even entertain the possibility of testifying
Speaker 1: against anybody else. Suddenly she's entertaining that Trump's critics will
Speaker 1: put holes through her on this point alone. She put
Speaker 1: holes through herself about this, And guess what happens to
Speaker 1: Trump if he's standing behind somebody like that. The fifth truth,
Speaker 1: She has already repeatedly lied under oath perjury. Why on
Speaker 1: earth would anybody believe she would not lie while not
Speaker 1: under oath. On top of the moral degeneracy of just
Speaker 1: Trump sending somebody to meet with this scum, apart from
Speaker 1: the moral degeneracy of Trump immunizing her even just for
Speaker 1: two days, she has no credibility even within the Q
Speaker 1: and on trump Ist circles. She is not just one
Speaker 1: of humanity's villains. She is not just one of reality's villains.
Speaker 1: She is one of the q andon fantasy world's villains.
Speaker 1: She doesn't improve Trump's case, she manages somehow to tarnish
Speaker 1: Trump's already human garbage reputation. But go ahead, jump into
Speaker 1: bed with her. Trump, You should figuratively jump into bed
Speaker 1: with this child rapist as many times as you can.
Speaker 1: Good call that Trump will certainly stop the Trump's Steen scandal. Now,
Speaker 1: this doesn't even factor in the reality that in each
Speaker 1: of his desperate attempts to change this subject, Trump has
Speaker 1: managed to incriminate himself in some other way Before he
Speaker 1: left for Scotland. While trying to clear himself by incriminating
Speaker 1: others in the pedophilia end of the Trumpstein scandal, Trump
Speaker 1: managed only to clear others in the cover up end
Speaker 1: of the Trumpstein scandal and incriminate himself in the cover
Speaker 1: up end of the Trumpstein scandal. How how did nobody
Speaker 1: else hear this SoundBite and not say wait, Trump is
Speaker 1: not only admitting there is an Epstein list, and he
Speaker 1: is admitting he has this Epstein list, and he is
Speaker 1: boasting that he could easily release this Epstein list, and
Speaker 1: that he is boasting he could give it to you
Speaker 1: right now. And he is incriminating himself in the cover
Speaker 1: up by implying he will not give you this Epstein
Speaker 1: list that he confirms exists. You know, you should focus
Speaker 1: on Clinton. You should focus on the president of Harvard,
Speaker 1: the former president of Harvard. You should focus on some
Speaker 1: of the hedge funds. Guys. I'll give you a list.
Speaker 1: These guys lived with Jeffrey Epstein. I sure as hell did.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'll give you a list. There's a list.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a list. I mean, forgive me for
Speaker 1: going out on a limit inferring things here. But when
Speaker 1: he says I'll give you a list, that makes me
Speaker 1: think there's a list. And when he says I'll give
Speaker 1: you a list, that makes me think he can give
Speaker 1: me that list. And when he says I'll give you
Speaker 1: a list that it makes me think he's not giving
Speaker 1: me the list. And that is the essence of the
Speaker 1: trumps Steen gover up to which he just confessed guilty.
Speaker 1: There's a list, I'll show you a list. I'll give
Speaker 1: you a list. I won't give it to you. This
Speaker 1: is my point. This slob can't move. He is so
Speaker 1: guilty in so many different ways in this one story
Speaker 1: that as he tries to de incriminate himself in one
Speaker 1: part of this continent sized quicksand pit, he only manages
Speaker 1: to sink deeper into a different part of the same pit.
Speaker 1: And whichever illegal, immoral move he makes with Glaine Maxwell,
Speaker 1: he will only multiply his game of choose your adventure
Speaker 1: and guess what he can't survive, and of the adventures,
Speaker 1: And on top of all that, something else that seems
Speaker 1: to have gone by unnoticed, the details of what there
Speaker 1: is of Trump in the Epstein files. Excuse me, in
Speaker 1: the Epstein list, Trump confirmed last Friday exists and he
Speaker 1: could give it to you. The details of where he
Speaker 1: is in them are being leaked out so methodically and
Speaker 1: at such regular intervals that I am beginning to suspect
Speaker 1: this has all been planned, that somebody is torturing Trump
Speaker 1: with this drip drip drip of pedophilia and child trafficking
Speaker 1: and Epstein and Galaine Maxwell and blackmail and a Trump
Speaker 1: conspiracy to cover all of it up, the cover up
Speaker 1: which he has to admit to in hopes that you'll
Speaker 1: only think about other people on the list and not
Speaker 1: the fact that he has the list and is covering
Speaker 1: up the list. This has to have been planned. Somebody
Speaker 1: is doing this to him. It's too well organized. Who's
Speaker 1: torturing him? On one level? Who cares? Give him a
Speaker 1: Nobel Peace prize? See if anybody shows up to claim it.
Speaker 1: But if you had to guess who was that? On
Speaker 1: June fifth of this year, who tweeted time to drop
Speaker 1: the really big bomb. Trump is in the Epstein files.
Speaker 1: That is the real reason they have not been made public.
Speaker 1: Have a nice day, DJT, who on July sixteenth called
Speaker 1: Trump's actions about the files quote a cover up obviously,
Speaker 1: who wrote on July twenty second that Speaker Mike Johnson
Speaker 1: sent the House of Representatives home before in Epstein vote
Speaker 1: for quote only one reason. Who the next day, the
Speaker 1: twenty third, responded to the refusal of Trump's Department of
Speaker 1: Justice to unseal the Epstein grand jury testimony by writing
Speaker 1: a one word accusation, Why and who had almost unfettered
Speaker 1: access to every computer in every branch of government every
Speaker 1: day for four months, including all of them at the
Speaker 1: Department of Justice. Who had a small group of computer
Speaker 1: nerds and hackers slavishly devoted personally to him, accessing everything.
Speaker 1: Who had Trump's ear Who seemingly had control of many,
Speaker 1: if not most, of the tools of Trump's administration, And
Speaker 1: I do mean tools until they broke suddenly and dramatically,
Speaker 1: like psychopathic narcissists always eventually do break. Who has been
Speaker 1: overtaken by waves of embittered, irrational, uncontrollable revenge, not just once,
Speaker 1: but after he tried to clean up the first one,
Speaker 1: a second one, a second wave. Who could have walked
Speaker 1: out of the White House with anything the Department of
Speaker 1: Justice had on Epstein, without Pam Blondie or Donald Trump
Speaker 1: ever knowing that it was gone. Who could have walked
Speaker 1: out with all the Epstein stuff and oh, all the
Speaker 1: Epstein trump Stein stuff. Two First Axios reports that Trump's
Speaker 1: administration has done a one tot eighty. There's no list
Speaker 1: Epstein killed himself, sorry QAnon July sixth, five months after
Speaker 1: Bondi said the was a list and it was on
Speaker 1: her desk at that moment. At that moment, the DOJ
Speaker 1: releases its video of the Epstein suicide minute to prove
Speaker 1: he killed himself. That was July seventh. Countless reporters are
Speaker 1: tipped to the oopsie in that that video is missing
Speaker 1: the Epstein suicide minute. The dog then has to explain
Speaker 1: all of its tapes are missing that particular minute of
Speaker 1: the day, all July seventh. Trump is then so rattled
Speaker 1: he attacks his own supporters for asking about Epstein on
Speaker 1: July eighth. On July eleventh, sources tell Wired Wired is
Speaker 1: a computer and tech magazine that now the DOJ tape
Speaker 1: it's actually several tapes edited together, and that the metadata
Speaker 1: on the tape says metadata that stuff computer people traffic
Speaker 1: in that the original one doesn't have one minute missing,
Speaker 1: it has two minutes in fifty three seconds missing, like
Speaker 1: the Watergate gap. July fifteenth, somebody at ABC News, Catherine Falders,
Speaker 1: knows enough to ask Trump in a gaggle on the
Speaker 1: lawn about everything else, to ask him just randomly out
Speaker 1: of the blue, if Pam Bondy told him in a
Speaker 1: briefing that he is in the Epstein files. Just out
Speaker 1: of nowhere. She thought of that question. She's a good reporter.
Speaker 1: I always doubt it when a reporter just suddenly has
Speaker 1: a light bulb go off and say, listen, let me
Speaker 1: ask you about something that hasn't been talked about in weeks.
Speaker 1: July sixteenth, Trump, aware that something is up, calls anybody
Speaker 1: asking about Epstein a quote former supporter, and says he
Speaker 1: doesn't want their support. That night, July sixteenth, the Wall
Speaker 1: Street Journal reports Trump is in the Epstein file and
Speaker 1: had composed a body letter cryptically referring to Epstein's beautiful secret.
Speaker 1: The Wall Street Journal a paper that billionaires like to
Speaker 1: read about themselves. In July twenty second, CNN publishes videos
Speaker 1: of Trump and Epstein together and images of Epstein at
Speaker 1: Trump's wedding with his second wife, Marla. July twenty third,
Speaker 1: The Wall Street Journal again that would be a money newspaper,
Speaker 1: reports Bondi did tell Trump in May that he's in
Speaker 1: the file, eight days after somebody thought maybe I should
Speaker 1: ask him if Bondi told him he's in the file.
Speaker 1: July twenty fourth, The New York Times publishes a picture
Speaker 1: of the Epstein birthday book and a reference to Trump
Speaker 1: in that picture. Wherever did they get that? July twenty fourth,
Speaker 1: Trump is so rattled he again insists that the entire
Speaker 1: Epstein story is a Democratic plot and that as the
Speaker 1: files are revealed quote, we'll see that it is another
Speaker 1: Democratic con job, again underscoring that that can't be true,
Speaker 1: because if it were, he should be revealing all of
Speaker 1: it immediately because it would exonerate him and implicate the Democrats.
Speaker 1: And last Friday, as he leaves for Scotland, Trump tries
Speaker 1: to prove he is innocent by saying there is a
Speaker 1: list of people who lived with Epstein and he could
Speaker 1: show it to you, proving he's guilty of lying about
Speaker 1: the list, and proving he won't release the list, which
Speaker 1: by definition is a cover up. And then Friday, when
Speaker 1: he gets to Scotland, he is again asked about what
Speaker 1: Pam Bondi told him in their briefing in May, and
Speaker 1: now he denies she briefed him at all. This is
Speaker 1: not Woodward and Bernstein here. This could be random, good
Speaker 1: journalistic work, except for two things. Two things that every
Speaker 1: detail in this story has in common all the details concerned, videos,
Speaker 1: scans of documents, scans of photographs or other stuff that
Speaker 1: would have been in Department of Justice computers, and so
Speaker 1: far all of it has dated to May twenty eighth,
Speaker 1: or earlier. May twenty eighth, the day Elon Musk left
Speaker 1: the White House, eight days before Elon Musk tweeted and
Speaker 1: deleted Trump is in the Epstein files. But sure it
Speaker 1: could be somebody else, somebody else with access to the
Speaker 1: Justice Department computers and videos and scans and records of
Speaker 1: Pambondi's briefings of Trump that are in those comput us,
Speaker 1: and records of everything in the government up until May
Speaker 1: twenty eighth. Could anybody with that kind of access could
Speaker 1: be the person torturing Trump, anybody with total access to everything.
Speaker 1: So it may be Musk torturing Trump over trump Stein.
Speaker 1: And Trump is metaphorically getting into bed with a convicted pedophile.
Speaker 1: And as Trump discovered yesterday in Scotland while announcing his
Speaker 1: latest bullshit tariff deal with whoever the EU I guess,
Speaker 1: as Trump discovered yesterday, trump Stein is never ever ever
Speaker 1: going away. The Don's o JVC story, How you gotta
Speaker 1: be kidding with that. No, I had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with it. Only you would think that not had no
Speaker 1: thing to do with this little else rises to the
Speaker 1: level of trump'steen But I would be derelict in my
Speaker 1: duties if I did not fill you in on Ryan
Speaker 1: Walters and the basketball scoreboard theory of being a pervert
Speaker 1: or miscreant. Ryan Walters is the superintendent of Education for
Speaker 1: the state of Oklahoma and a class one a Bible thumping,
Speaker 1: maga fascist nut job. He is that psycho who demanded
Speaker 1: that videos be shown in all Oklahoma public schoolrooms of
Speaker 1: him praying for Trump before the election. Ryan Walters is
Speaker 1: the theocrat who demands the teaching of the Ten Commandments
Speaker 1: in public schools. He's the one who demanded the use
Speaker 1: of the Trump endorsed ninety dollars Bibles because the free
Speaker 1: Bibles aren't good enough. He is the lunatic who is
Speaker 1: screening job applicants in Oklahoma based on whether or not
Speaker 1: they're woke. Ryan Walters is the idiot who put the
Speaker 1: libs of TikTok Witch on his state education board. He
Speaker 1: is the head of public education in one of the
Speaker 1: statistically stupidest states in the Union and in the world.
Speaker 1: Ryan Walters, Superintendent of Education of Oklahoma, who had porn
Speaker 1: playing on a TV screen in his office during Thursday's
Speaker 1: meeting of the Oklahoma State Board of Education. According to
Speaker 1: two of its members, you should excuse the use of
Speaker 1: the word members. But two members of that board tell
Speaker 1: the media that they saw video featuring two naked women.
Speaker 1: One says he thought he saw them on a chiropractic
Speaker 1: table in the video playing on a TV in Walter's office,
Speaker 1: the video, not the women while they were in there
Speaker 1: attending the executive session portion of their meeting in Ryan
Speaker 1: Walter's office taxpayer funded State of Oklahoma office space. The
Speaker 1: story was broken by non DOC short for non doctrinaire,
Speaker 1: the news outlet of the Sustainable Journalism Foundation of Oklahoma.
Speaker 1: Non DOC quoted member Becky Walters, who was there, quote,
Speaker 1: I was like, what am I seeing? I was kind
Speaker 1: of in shock, Honestly. I started a question whether I
Speaker 1: was actually seeing what I was seeing. I was like,
Speaker 1: is that woman naked? And then I was like, no,
Speaker 1: she's got a body suit on. It happened very quickly.
Speaker 1: I was like, that is not a body suit. And
Speaker 1: I hate to even use these terms, but I said,
Speaker 1: those are her nipples. Yes, And then I was looking
Speaker 1: closer and I got a full body view and I
Speaker 1: was like, that is pubic hair. Even right now, I
Speaker 1: couldn't even tell you what I was watching as in aside,
Speaker 1: it sounds like an animated version of Trump's drawing for Epstein,
Speaker 1: doesn't it. Back to the quote, I was so disturbed
Speaker 1: by it that I was like, very loudly and boastfully,
Speaker 1: like I was a parent or a teacher. I said,
Speaker 1: what is on your TV? What am I watching? He
Speaker 1: Walters was like, what what are you talking about? He
Speaker 1: stood up and saw it. He made acknowledgment that he
Speaker 1: saw it, and I said, turn it off now, and
Speaker 1: he was like, what is this? What is this? So
Speaker 1: he acknowledged it was inappropriate just by those words. And
Speaker 1: he was like, I can't get it to turn off.
Speaker 1: I can't figure out how to turn it off. And
Speaker 1: I said, get it turned off. So he finally got
Speaker 1: it turned off and that was the end of it.
Speaker 1: He didn't address it, he didn't apologize, nothing was said.
Speaker 1: The implication here is the naked women video was on
Speaker 1: a loop in Ryan Walter's office on a TV or
Speaker 1: monitor permanently adjusted to make sure you couldn't stop it.
Speaker 1: The President pro Temporary of the Oklahoma Senate says, an
Speaker 1: investigation into Ryan Walters has begun. Quote. This is a
Speaker 1: bizarre and troubling situation that raises serious questions about the
Speaker 1: events and what took place during Thursday's executive session at
Speaker 1: the Oklahoma State Board of Education's meeting. Director Walters says,
Speaker 1: everybody's lying but him. You know how this turns out.
Speaker 1: You've known how this turns out before you heard the story.
Speaker 1: I've explained previously what a psychiatric professional friend of mine
Speaker 1: explained to me when I asked about people like this,
Speaker 1: the public face private reality people. You know the types.
Speaker 1: The homophobe who's a customer of gay prostitutes, the anti
Speaker 1: abortion protester and bomber who has paid for a dozen
Speaker 1: abortions in his lifetime. The say Bible thumping, anti porn
Speaker 1: fascist head of education who has video of naked women
Speaker 1: playing on a loop in his office during an official
Speaker 1: state meeting of the Board of Education. I call my
Speaker 1: friend's explanation the basketball scoreboard theory of such rationalization. If
Speaker 1: you are, say Ryan Walters, there's somebody like him, and
Speaker 1: you have decided porn or atheism or wokeness or democrats
Speaker 1: are evil and you must fight them. And then it
Speaker 1: turns out you collect porn and you frequent I don't know,
Speaker 1: transgendered prostitutes, and you commit these sins in your own life,
Speaker 1: and you decide you've been a bad boy, and this
Speaker 1: makes you anti God and woke and maybe even a
Speaker 1: democrat in your mind. In your mind, you are in
Speaker 1: a kind of moral basketball game, and each one of
Speaker 1: your sins is two points scored against you. So obviously
Speaker 1: the solution is not to stop committing what you think
Speaker 1: is a sin. That wouldn't work and it could never
Speaker 1: be enough. You just must score more points on the
Speaker 1: anti sin scoreboard. Then you give up on the sin scoreboard,
Speaker 1: so you start shooting threes. You demand the purge of
Speaker 1: gays and banning transgender care and banning abortion and putting
Speaker 1: up the Ten Commandments in the schools and pimping for
Speaker 1: libs of TikTok and Trump, and you point up at
Speaker 1: that scoreboard and it's suddenly anti sin one hundred sin
Speaker 1: ninety eight. You won, And that means you haven't committed
Speaker 1: any sins, because the net effect of your life is
Speaker 1: anti sin one hundred to ninety eight two points doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: If it's two points, you can't be guilty of sin.
Speaker 1: Look at all those anti sin points. In fact, my
Speaker 1: friend went on, if you've done so much anti sin
Speaker 1: campaigning my term again, that the scoreboard says anti sin
Speaker 1: two hundred points, pro sin ninety eight points, you may
Speaker 1: very well say to yourself, great, I can go out
Speaker 1: and commit eighty more points of sin now, and I'll
Speaker 1: still be anti sin. You see God, see Mommy, see Daddy,
Speaker 1: see my own conscience. I'm still more anti sin than
Speaker 1: pro sin. I covered the spread. Oh god, don't say spread.
Speaker 1: In this construction. The Ryan Walters kind of guy just
Speaker 1: gave up about ten pro sin points playing porn on
Speaker 1: a loop in your office during your Board of Education
Speaker 1: executive session. That's at least ten points. In fact, you
Speaker 1: may have just blown the lead. Oh god, don't say blown.
Speaker 1: That's another two points. Exit Ryan Walters. Also of interest
Speaker 1: here the Colbert blowback continues, And all I can tell
Speaker 1: you is, while you are still worried about how he's
Speaker 1: being silenced, well how he will be silenced when his
Speaker 1: show goes off the airth three hundred days from now,
Speaker 1: by which time ABC and NBC might have already canceled
Speaker 1: their shows. Hadn't thought of that, had you? While you're
Speaker 1: still worried about Colbert, you may have missed that part
Speaker 1: where CBS and the Ellisons and new boss Jeff Shell
Speaker 1: of the CBS Whorehouse have committed a real Goebels level
Speaker 1: assault on the First Amendment. They have agreed to a
Speaker 1: point and in how censor to make sure CBS News
Speaker 1: doesn't do anything Trump wouldn't like. Never mind Colbert, never
Speaker 1: mind Late Night TV, never mind comedy the news f
Speaker 1: Stephen Colbert. This is what we should be goddamn rioting about.
Speaker 1: That's next. This is Countdown. This is Countdown with Keith
Speaker 1: Olberman still ahead on this all new edition of Countdown.
Speaker 1: So I worked last week with a delightful movie director
Speaker 1: with whom I last worked in nineteen eighty seven, the
Speaker 1: man who put me in the golf movie Dead Solid Perfect.
Speaker 1: I think it's the greatest golf movie of all time.
Speaker 1: But it starred Randy Quaid. I swear, and I loved
Speaker 1: working with Randy Quaid. He was great our reunion as
Speaker 1: my old friend Bobby Roth is doing a documentary on
Speaker 1: saving democracy. Next in things, I promise not to tell.
Speaker 1: First of all, eve it or not, there's still more
Speaker 1: new idiots to talk about. The roundup of the miss Grants,
Speaker 1: morons and Dunning Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's other
Speaker 1: worst persons in the world. Honorable mention. I don't know
Speaker 1: who to cite here. Did the Astronomer company pay Gwyneth
Speaker 1: Paltrow to do their self mocking video about the cold
Speaker 1: Play canoodling or did she pay them? She was, of
Speaker 1: course married to the lead singer of Coldplay, and there
Speaker 1: were stories about irregularities in the marriage. And once again,
Speaker 1: if you think that the ex CEO and the x
Speaker 1: HR person are being unfairly treated and now being unfairly
Speaker 1: treated by their former employer, they went to a Coldplay concert.
Speaker 1: Their lives were all ready over any who there goes
Speaker 1: Chris Martin as a subscriber. The nominees runner up were
Speaker 1: Scott McKay. Who is Scott McKay. He claims to have
Speaker 1: a source close to high level Trump administration figures he's
Speaker 1: a QAnon conspiracy theorist, So those sources could be invisible,
Speaker 1: or they might be brownies and elves. Yatt. McKay tells
Speaker 1: his audience, fellow morons, whatever they are. That Hillary Clinton
Speaker 1: was executed at Guantanamo in twenty eighteen. So what you're
Speaker 1: seeing now, that's a different Hillary Clinton. And there were
Speaker 1: five or six different people portraying Joe Biden and the
Speaker 1: quote fake Obama is going to be arrested soon. This
Speaker 1: is the best damn news all day. Multiple Hillary Clinton's,
Speaker 1: six Joe Biden's, extra Obamas, all of them there to
Speaker 1: kick Trump's ass. Let's go the runner up. There is
Speaker 1: a senator dumber than all the other ones, even dumber
Speaker 1: than Josh Hawley, even dumber than Ted Cruz, even dumber
Speaker 1: than Roger Marshall. We we have Ambry nine, dumber even
Speaker 1: than the dumbest congressman or congress woman, dumber than Bobert
Speaker 1: and Luna and Marjorie Taylor Green And how great was
Speaker 1: that tweet with a picture of Marjorie Taylor Green and
Speaker 1: the caption hul Cogan dead at seventy one. Dumber than
Speaker 1: all of them, Senator Mike the Internet ate my brain
Speaker 1: and my hair. Lee. Mike Lee writes, no executive branch
Speaker 1: officer should ever harbor, much less display severe contempt for
Speaker 1: any president of the United States. Yet j Powell clearly does.
Speaker 1: And there is a clip of Jerome Powell undressing Trump
Speaker 1: metaphorically thank God, at that building site last week. The
Speaker 1: FED is a no executive branch officer, the chairman of
Speaker 1: the FED. That's not part of the executive branch, Senator Lee,
Speaker 1: the Federal Reserve is not part of the Federal of
Speaker 1: the executive branch. That is the point of having the FED.
Speaker 1: The other point is Mike Lee is also dumber than
Speaker 1: a balding fifth grader who just flunked out of social
Speaker 1: studies class. But the winners, the FCC chairman and those
Speaker 1: who are still complaining about the cancelation of the Stephen
Speaker 1: Colbert Show next May, Yeah, he silenced him. It's a
Speaker 1: criminal conspiracy against Stephen Colbert. You can only say whatever
Speaker 1: he wants for the next nine months. Doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: me to be a very effective way of silencing somebody.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to defend the Trump administration on this,
Speaker 1: but stop giving them goddamn credit for pulling this off.
Speaker 1: This is CBS doing this and market forces. You got
Speaker 1: a thousand things to complain about like this while you
Speaker 1: are paying attention to Stephen Colbert. The FCC is not
Speaker 1: doing anything about silencing Stephen Colbert ten months from now.
Speaker 1: The FCC has proved the CBS sky Dance, sky Dong
Speaker 1: Sky Paramount. Whatever the merger is, it has been approved
Speaker 1: and will be run by some of the worst people
Speaker 1: in America, the Ellisons. The degenerate ex friend of mine,
Speaker 1: Jeff Schell, who was chairman of NBC for like two weeks,
Speaker 1: then got fired and started to pursue a lawsuit because
Speaker 1: he was unfairly fired, and then dropped the lawsuit without
Speaker 1: any money. CBS, the new ownership, the Sherry Redstone Group,
Speaker 1: is installing what amounts to an in house political compliance
Speaker 1: officer inside CBS News. This is not somebody reporting to Trump.
Speaker 1: This is somebody reporting to the board of directors of
Speaker 1: the new CBS ownership, who'll be standing over the news saying, now,
Speaker 1: you can't say that it's not pro conservative. Now you
Speaker 1: can't say that favors them minorities. Quote The New York Times.
Speaker 1: In recent days, sky Dance took steps to assuage FCC
Speaker 1: chief Brendan Josef Goebel's car. Times didn't call him that
Speaker 1: I did, telling the agency that it would install an
Speaker 1: official at the news division to ensure fairness in its
Speaker 1: journalism and committing to avoiding diversity, equity and inclusion programs
Speaker 1: at the company. In his statement, mister Carr lauded these steps,
Speaker 1: and by the way, mister Carr has his job because
Speaker 1: of a DEI program which admits people with IQ's under ten.
Speaker 1: In his statement, mister Carr lauded these steps, saying they
Speaker 1: would begin the process of earning back Americans trust. Carr,
Speaker 1: the chairman of the FCC, said in a statement that
Speaker 1: the agency had approved the deal after receiving assurances from
Speaker 1: Skydance that the new company would be committed to unbiased journalism,
Speaker 1: which means, of course, Car that they will be committed
Speaker 1: to bias journalism, pro Trump journalism, pro fascism, turn journalism,
Speaker 1: pro Nazi journalism. Americans no longer trust the legacy national
Speaker 1: news media to report fully, accurately, and fairly, mister Carr
Speaker 1: said in his statement, it is time for a change.
Speaker 1: That is why I welcome sky Dance's commitment to make
Speaker 1: significant changes at the once storied CBS broadcast network. Car
Speaker 1: doesn't even realize that in his statement, he's acknowledging that
Speaker 1: after he's gotten through with it, CBS will no longer
Speaker 1: be storied except as a whorehouse. This is CBS a whorehouse. Listen,
Speaker 1: Josef Goebbels. You don't trust them because they have been
Speaker 1: since the inception in the twenties, they have been reporting fully,
Speaker 1: accurately and fairly. And if that is allowed to continue,
Speaker 1: those attributes will dethrone Trump and scumbags like you Car.
Speaker 1: And by the way, if you don't like the Gobels comparison,
Speaker 1: maybe you should stop the Gobels stuff. Asshole Brendan or
Speaker 1: if you prefer, call him Dolores Umbradge Car two Day's
Speaker 1: other worst person to the number one story on the
Speaker 1: Countdown and things I promised not to tell, and sometimes
Speaker 1: that becomes things I am all too happy to tell,
Speaker 1: and this is one of those. About a month ago
Speaker 1: I got an email from a man who said he
Speaker 1: was a documentary film producer and director and was producing
Speaker 1: and directing a documentary film, Surprisingly Enough, about democracy, about
Speaker 1: people in favor of democracy and those who had gone
Speaker 1: to some personal effort to save democracy, Tom Morello from
Speaker 1: Rage Against the Machine. He said he'd already interviewed him.
Speaker 1: He'd interviewed the great environmentalist and protester Peter Coyote, also
Speaker 1: the great actor and voiceover actor and voiceover documentarian Peter
Speaker 1: Coyote and many others on a great list, and he
Speaker 1: now wanted to interview me. And if that were not
Speaker 1: enough for me to say yes, Bobby Roth is the
Speaker 1: man's name. And Bobby was and remains the director of
Speaker 1: the only motion picture I am actually in as an
Speaker 1: actor in nineteen eighty seven. Bobby did. And this is
Speaker 1: something of a conflict of terminology here a great golf film.
Speaker 1: It is my contention that great golf films don't generally exist.
Speaker 1: Golf is to me, not a means of conveying any
Speaker 1: if you're playing it, God bless you. It's a great
Speaker 1: sport and good exercise, and not too much exercise. But
Speaker 1: it's a great sport if you're playing it. I never
Speaker 1: particularly enjoyed the long game, but the putting game is
Speaker 1: fascinating to me. I wouldn't watch golf at gunpoint in
Speaker 1: any event. He took the wonderful story of Dead Solid
Speaker 1: Perfect by Roy Jenkins, one of Roy Jenkins's golf novels,
Speaker 1: and took it and adapted it and made it into
Speaker 1: a film for HBO in nineteen eighty seven, and it's
Speaker 1: the damnedest movie you'd ever want to see about golf.
Speaker 1: A as we used to say at ESPN, moves like
Speaker 1: a rocket. It's not like golf. There's no slow play,
Speaker 1: it's not boring. It's not a bunch of guys contemplating
Speaker 1: their nabels and the exact lie of the putt. It's
Speaker 1: not like that. It's about golf as a competitive, cutthroat
Speaker 1: industry with terrible people in it and some good ones
Speaker 1: and some funny ones. And so he approached me in
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty seven, when I was a local sportscaster in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles and had dark hair and was twenty eight
Speaker 1: years old, and asked me to be announcer number one.
Speaker 1: I was to play a golf announcer, and this was
Speaker 1: going to be a stretch because I was not a
Speaker 1: golf announcer. He gave me a copy of the script.
Speaker 1: We met at the Hollywood Masonic Temple near Channel five
Speaker 1: in LA I got to watch him film a scene
Speaker 1: a press conference. I got to meet the star of
Speaker 1: the movie and a couple of the second and third leads.
Speaker 1: The star of the movie was a very good, very
Speaker 1: nice man, a very good actor whose work I had
Speaker 1: seen dating back to my days in high school, A
Speaker 1: great guy named Randy Quaid, who was one hundred percent
Speaker 1: lovely to me. This is long before things began to deteriorate,
Speaker 1: but even after they did, he was one hundred percent
Speaker 1: lovely to me. And of all the maga stuff I've
Speaker 1: ever seen, the least explicable one is what it did
Speaker 1: to Randy Quaid, also an extraordinarily gifted actor. And if
Speaker 1: you don't believe me, go see the last detail. It's
Speaker 1: Jack Nicholson's film, probably his last small part, and Randy
Speaker 1: Quaid overwhelms him. It's Randy Quaid's film. I'll leave it
Speaker 1: at that. So Bobby Roth hands me a script and says,
Speaker 1: here are your lines, and go home and learn them,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you at the Valencia Golf Club at
Speaker 1: four o'clock in the morning on such and such a
Speaker 1: date summer of nineteen eighty seven, I think July, maybe August.
Speaker 1: I get there no sleep, having carefully learned, announce your
Speaker 1: number one's lines. I'm going to be in a movie
Speaker 1: on HBO. That's when a new HBO film was a
Speaker 1: rarity and a big deal, and it usually would then
Speaker 1: get a theatrical release somewhere and it live in perpetuity
Speaker 1: on syndicated television. And it was just fun. And I
Speaker 1: did say to him, you know, I'm not a member
Speaker 1: of the Screen Actors Guild. And at that point, after
Speaker 1: the TV Actors and TV Performers Union was not merged
Speaker 1: with the Screen Actors Guild, you had to be in
Speaker 1: both separately. I said, I'm not a member. We'll pay
Speaker 1: for your initiation fee. Well, I mean they were giving
Speaker 1: me maybe five thousand dollars to be in the film,
Speaker 1: and the initiation fee was probably five thousand and two dollars.
Speaker 1: They paid both just to get me in the film.
Speaker 1: He really wanted me, he was a fan. And so
Speaker 1: I show up and I've learned Announcer number one's lines,
Speaker 1: and they introduced me to the other guy playing announcer
Speaker 1: number one and I said, no, I'm playing announcer number one,
Speaker 1: and they said, no, this is Don Morrow. You may
Speaker 1: remember Don from such TV commercials as the Shell answer man.
Speaker 1: Don Morrow had a perfect voice. Don Morrow was, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Don Morrow. And Don used to do these commercials
Speaker 1: for Shelle gasoline in which he would stand there on
Speaker 1: a road with a clipboard and a white doctor's smock
Speaker 1: down to his ankles and explain to you that you
Speaker 1: should not drive while watching television and that you should
Speaker 1: probably remember to put gas in the car and you
Speaker 1: should use shell. That was the shell answer man or
Speaker 1: mister A h of Akron, Ohio writes in and says
Speaker 1: his tires are on fire. What should he do? It's
Speaker 1: very simple. Go to here nearest shell dealer and buy
Speaker 1: new ones. Try to put the fire out first. That
Speaker 1: was the commercials. It made him a fortune, and he
Speaker 1: did thousands of other voiceovers for commercials. That was the
Speaker 1: one he was on camera for. But now I am
Speaker 1: noticing a problem even though I am operating on fumes,
Speaker 1: no sleep, and I'm terrified because I haven't acted since
Speaker 1: high school. And here I am with a professional crew
Speaker 1: and there are hundreds of them there at the golf
Speaker 1: club at that hour of the day, and they are
Speaker 1: awaiting the arrival of my new friend Randy Quaid, who's
Speaker 1: due to shoot that morning and is coming in early
Speaker 1: to visit with me. He wants to see us shoot
Speaker 1: this scene because he's a fan of mine. But a
Speaker 1: problem has arisen. I have learned Announcer number one's line. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the casting agent for the film has cast another announcer,
Speaker 1: number one, Don Morrow. I said, what do we do
Speaker 1: about this, mister Morrow. They'll figure it out, and he
Speaker 1: went back to reading his newspaper and drinking cup after
Speaker 1: a coffee after cup out of coffee. Sure enough, the
Speaker 1: second unit director comes over. She has no idea who
Speaker 1: I am. She has a large nineteen eighty seven style
Speaker 1: walkie talkie, big enough that if she hits you in
Speaker 1: the head with it you would lose consciousness. And she says, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Eileen or whatever her name was. I'm the second
Speaker 1: unit director, and we have a little bit of a problem,
Speaker 1: and it's our fault. Don't worry about it. But we
Speaker 1: have two announcers number one and zero announcers number two.
Speaker 1: How soon do you think you could learn the lines
Speaker 1: for an hournounce your number two? Because apparently that was
Speaker 1: the original intention here, and we just screwed it up.
Speaker 1: And I said, uh, you know, in high school, we
Speaker 1: did the odd couple and I did a couple of
Speaker 1: ad libs with movement that occurred to me in the
Speaker 1: moment on stage, and they got roars of laughter from
Speaker 1: the crowd and the advisor, who was also the advisor
Speaker 1: to the newspaper in the yearbook in the radio station,
Speaker 1: took me aside afterwards and said, af the sportscasting thing,
Speaker 1: you should be an actor. You have all the instincts
Speaker 1: we could never teach you. And I almost went that way,
Speaker 1: but the next time we did the show, somebody lost
Speaker 1: their lines and froze on stage and went backstage and
Speaker 1: started screaming and crying, and I never wanted to be
Speaker 1: that close to it ever again. So I haven't acted
Speaker 1: since then, but I was very good in nineteen seventy five.
Speaker 1: It's nineteen eighty seven now and I haven't done any
Speaker 1: acting in the interim, so I can probably learn announce
Speaker 1: your number twos lines in let's see what day is,
Speaker 1: this is Tuesday, by next Monday. And she looked at
Speaker 1: me and smiled and went, I'll get right back to you.
Speaker 1: And she went over and conferred with Don Morrow. How
Speaker 1: soon do you think you could learn announcer number two's lines.
Speaker 1: We'll just switch it up here and you can be
Speaker 1: the golf expert. And he went, I don't need any time,
Speaker 1: I can do it right. Well, we can do it
Speaker 1: right now, and she went really but you don't even
Speaker 1: have the lines in front of you. Well, I will
Speaker 1: need a pair of scissors, some scotch tape, and a
Speaker 1: second copy of the script, oh in a nice permanent
Speaker 1: marker please, and every room, everybody in this room where
Speaker 1: we were waiting this tent, because of course, Valencia, California,
Speaker 1: in late July early August is the only place in
Speaker 1: California at that time of year where the humidity will
Speaker 1: go up. So it's not even light yet, and it's
Speaker 1: probably ninety degrees and ninety percent humidity, which never happens
Speaker 1: in southern California, and we are already baking, and every
Speaker 1: face in that room is now contemplating the prospect of
Speaker 1: having to stay even longer in this heat because they
Speaker 1: screwed up and cast two announcers number one and no
Speaker 1: announcer number two. And Don Morrow has just saved them
Speaker 1: from this by saying all he needs is a pair
Speaker 1: of scissors, scotch tape, a second copy of the script,
Speaker 1: and a permanent magic marker. And I'm thinking, boy, oh boy,
Speaker 1: I've heard of the Lee Strasburg School in the hebel
Speaker 1: La Galienn School, And what's the thing where you inhabit
Speaker 1: the character, and there's something a couple of other ones,
Speaker 1: but I've never heard of the scotch tape and scissors
Speaker 1: school of acting. I gotta see this. We go out
Speaker 1: onto the set. There is Don, who's a lovely guy,
Speaker 1: and he's got his scissors and his extra copy of
Speaker 1: the script and his scotch tape and his marker, and
Speaker 1: we sit on the set where we're going to do
Speaker 1: this scene, which we are the golf announcers. It is
Speaker 1: if you've ever seen a golf tournament on television, even
Speaker 1: for a minute. They used to and it's less so
Speaker 1: like this now, but they used to sit in one
Speaker 1: central location out built out on the first hole or
Speaker 1: the eighteenth or somewhere prominent on a golf course, and
Speaker 1: it would be a small outdoor set that looked rather
Speaker 1: like an election night set. It was that big, that crowded,
Speaker 1: and full of that much crap and extra people sitting
Speaker 1: out there keeping track of where golfers are at various places.
Speaker 1: It's far more intricate than it looks, and to my mind,
Speaker 1: televising that main set would be far more interesting than
Speaker 1: televising a golf tournament, unless it was just putts okay,
Speaker 1: I used that joke a thousand times now. So we
Speaker 1: go out there and it's a wonderfully appointed set. It's
Speaker 1: beautifully dressed by these guys who have left no stone
Speaker 1: where it should be. There are one hundred and thirty
Speaker 1: four clipboards, there's seventeen monitors pointing in every direction. There's chairs,
Speaker 1: there's extras, there's pens, there's golf clubs, there's weather maps,
Speaker 1: there's course maps. It's just full of debris from a
Speaker 1: golf tournament. And now Don asks me to sit where
Speaker 1: I'm going to sit during the shot. And he said,
Speaker 1: will you be leaning and when you move, just lean
Speaker 1: as far forward as you think you're probably gonna move
Speaker 1: during during the two shots, and I leaned. He went, okay,
Speaker 1: got it. He now cuts out the first line of
Speaker 1: an oouncer number two, and in the left side of
Speaker 1: it writes the number one and circles it with his
Speaker 1: magic marker. He gets out his scotch tape and he
Speaker 1: tapes the line to a monitor which he can see
Speaker 1: when he looks at me. It is about head high
Speaker 1: where my head is, but behind me by about five feet.
Speaker 1: And now on it is the first line for anouncer
Speaker 1: number two. So when he has to give an Ouncer
Speaker 1: number two's first line, don is in fact reading it
Speaker 1: from a teleprompter that only has his first line on it.
Speaker 1: He now tapes line number two about, oh, I don't know,
Speaker 1: eight nine degrees clockwise of there, so that it's out
Speaker 1: towards where I would look if I look slightly to
Speaker 1: my left. Line number three he now cuts out and
Speaker 1: marks and tapes right in front of me so that
Speaker 1: he can sort of look at me and then look
Speaker 1: forward towards the course, and on the monitor in front
Speaker 1: of me is his line number three, and so on
Speaker 1: and so on, until in like a sprinkler pattern around
Speaker 1: this set, all of his twelve lines as Announcer number two,
Speaker 1: which he didn't learn and I didn't learn, are in
Speaker 1: an array that goes from left over my shoulder to
Speaker 1: right over where I would be looking when I looked
Speaker 1: at Dawn genius, I tells you, and I said, so
Speaker 1: you've done this before? Oh? Yes, Many times I said,
Speaker 1: have you done this before where they've screwed up and
Speaker 1: they've changed the lines at the last minute. Many times
Speaker 1: I said, I'll have to ask you, did they ever
Speaker 1: do this? On the shell? Answer Man commercials you bet
Speaker 1: your ass. I learned a lot about the entertainment industry
Speaker 1: that day that I had not known. In any event,
Speaker 1: Randy Quaid came by and said hello, and as I said,
Speaker 1: he was one hundred percent wonderful to me and was
Speaker 1: a fan and was delightful and had comments about some
Speaker 1: of the sports casts I did and the bits that
Speaker 1: I'd done that bordered on acting. He went, have you
Speaker 1: ever considered being an actor? I mean, you really probably
Speaker 1: could follow it off, I went, I'm not going down
Speaker 1: this path again. The last time I did this, another
Speaker 1: actor wound up screaming and crying in the back of
Speaker 1: the set. Okay, okay, you're doing a great job. Don't
Speaker 1: tell you, don't change anything. I'll look for you at
Speaker 1: the premiere. So now I leave, and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: that's Hollywood. I don't know how much money they have
Speaker 1: spent to get me to play a part I was
Speaker 1: not supposed to part a play. I don't know what
Speaker 1: they've spent on Don Morrow. But now I've met Don
Speaker 1: and he's become a friend of mine, and maybe now
Speaker 1: I can start my career in the voiceover industry, which
Speaker 1: he mentions in passing is kind of lucrative, and the
Speaker 1: months go oh by, and Bobby goes and edits it,
Speaker 1: and apparently it's going to make its premiere on HBO
Speaker 1: sometime around Christmas, and at some point in November, the
Speaker 1: inevitable call comes, can you make it to a sweetening session?
Speaker 1: Sweetening session is very simply what happens when they decide
Speaker 1: some of the lines in the film are not audible,
Speaker 1: and since we shot outdoors, many of the lines were
Speaker 1: not audible. We had to go and re record Don
Speaker 1: and I some of our golf parlay. And I go
Speaker 1: to this studio in North Hollywood, where I meet the
Speaker 1: engineer who I wound up going out on a couple
Speaker 1: of dates with. She was really nice and very pleasant.
Speaker 1: And we go there and I'm waiting to see my
Speaker 1: new friend Don Morrow, and is Randy going to be here? Now? Oh?
Speaker 1: I like Randy, And in comes Don Morrow. Only it's
Speaker 1: not Don Morrow, who was a substantial guy with a
Speaker 1: great voice, a great set of pipes, but probably about
Speaker 1: five nine, one hundred and thirty five pounds, And instead
Speaker 1: of him, I'm introduced to the guy who's going to
Speaker 1: do his lines for him. Hi, I'm Phil and Phil
Speaker 1: Ish six eight three eighty and I might be understating this,
Speaker 1: but Phil looked like two Dons standing on each other's shoulders,
Speaker 1: And I went, how in the hell does this work?
Speaker 1: Where's Don? Don's at his villa in Spain and I said,
Speaker 1: done as a villa in Spain, because yes, he didn't
Speaker 1: like the one in Switzerland the weather was too cold.
Speaker 1: What yeah, the voiceover job. If you get the echelon
Speaker 1: upper echelon stuff, it pays really well. I have a
Speaker 1: villa in Paris. I was like, what the hell am
Speaker 1: I doing? I'm doing this wrong. I have a one
Speaker 1: bedroom in Beverly Hills and I pay too much for
Speaker 1: that and it's in Beverly Hills. What am I doing wrong?
Speaker 1: While I'm still doing it wrong? But that's besides the point.
Speaker 1: Phil explains that he covers for Don when Don is
Speaker 1: out of the country or unavailable and they need to
Speaker 1: do sweetening or other events in which they have booked
Speaker 1: Don Morrow or want to and he's not there and
Speaker 1: they want the shell answer man. So now they have
Speaker 1: contacted him. And I said, how does this work? You
Speaker 1: do sound or nothing like Don Morrow? And he goes, no,
Speaker 1: and Don doesn't sound anything like me. But he fills
Speaker 1: in for me when I'm not there. Sure enough, we
Speaker 1: go into the studio, comes time for me to read
Speaker 1: a line. I read a line. I look over and
Speaker 1: I go, I don't know how this could possibly work.
Speaker 1: And Phil the Giant, the lumberjack of a man, promptly
Speaker 1: reads Don Morrow's line as if Don were speaking through
Speaker 1: him in some kind of esp thing, in some kind
Speaker 1: of possession thing where he is speaking from a villa
Speaker 1: in Spain via this guy's mouth, and he sounds exactly
Speaker 1: it's the same. And after I get through this existentially
Speaker 1: challenging experience, how could anybody do this impression? I said it?
Speaker 1: And he can do you. Yes, he's probably a little
Speaker 1: better at doing me than I am at doing him.
Speaker 1: And we go home and that's the end of it.
Speaker 1: And the next thing I see is the movie on
Speaker 1: the premiere night. And as I said, this is really
Speaker 1: worth your time. This film, it really is. It's a
Speaker 1: great funny film. Jack Warden, the great actor, is in it.
Speaker 1: The score, one of the first they ever did, was
Speaker 1: by the group Tangerine Dream, So that score alone keeps
Speaker 1: the movie moving. HBO ran it forever and ever, and
Speaker 1: it was very successful. And I think it got a
Speaker 1: couple of cable awards, and Bobby, when I saw him
Speaker 1: last week, was really proud of it and kept wondering
Speaker 1: why it's not being streamed. It's still funny, it's still
Speaker 1: it's a Roy Jenkins novel. It's still wonderful, and we
Speaker 1: go and see the film and it's hilarious. And it
Speaker 1: has and Bobby mentioned this last week. It has not
Speaker 1: only lots of scenes that real golfers think are really good,
Speaker 1: but it has the scene Bobby said that for decades,
Speaker 1: every golfer he's ever met who's found out that he
Speaker 1: did Dead Salva perfect it said, you have the greatest scene,
Speaker 1: the greatest individual scene in any golf movie, never mind
Speaker 1: that crap Billy Madison or whatever the hell that Adam
Speaker 1: Sandler film is. And Adam Sandler is a lovely guy.
Speaker 1: But I didn't laugh once in that first film, which
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be in but got sick and
Speaker 1: couldn't go. And I imagine I'm not going to laugh
Speaker 1: at anything in the second one because I'm not going
Speaker 1: to go see it. But all the other golf films
Speaker 1: Tin Cup not funny. There was some serious golf movie
Speaker 1: and something about you know, a golfer with no limbs
Speaker 1: and push shot the ball with his nose. I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is a fun movie that happens to be about golf,
Speaker 1: and Randy Quaid is god damned terrific in it. And
Speaker 1: the woman playing his wife is Catherine Harold, a great
Speaker 1: underrated actor of the eighties who is on the Larry
Speaker 1: Sanders Show. Just outstanding from start to last. But the
Speaker 1: one scene that all the golfers liked was with the
Speaker 1: actress who was playing the woman. Randy Quaid's golf character
Speaker 1: is having an affair with Krinn Borr, and the scene
Speaker 1: sounds like nothing. In the scene, Krin Borr runs down
Speaker 1: the hallway at the hotel that she and the Randy
Speaker 1: Quaid character are canoodling at, runs down the hallway to
Speaker 1: get some ice. The scene involves an ice machine, an
Speaker 1: ice bucket, some ice, but it does not involve Kurin
Speaker 1: wearing any clothes. Now it's shot top up, but nevertheless,
Speaker 1: this is for twelve over fifteen second scene, quite a
Speaker 1: dramatic thing, especially for golfers. I cannot reveal what Bobby
Speaker 1: revealed about Corinn and Randy Quaid in real life, but
Speaker 1: you probably can guess why the scene was so authentic.
Speaker 1: It's a great scene, It's a great movie. Me. I
Speaker 1: could have gotten an award from the National Association of
Speaker 1: lumber Distributors. I am so wooden. There is no one
Speaker 1: who did not know my work who would have seen
Speaker 1: that film and said that guy's a golf announcer. Hell,
Speaker 1: there's nobody who would have seen that film and not
Speaker 1: known my work and said that guy must be a
Speaker 1: real sportscaster. I come across as some sort of stuffed
Speaker 1: animal who has come to life for this scene and
Speaker 1: not very much to life. And the other thing that
Speaker 1: I learned from this scene that we did and then sweetened,
Speaker 1: where we went back and fixed the audio and fill
Speaker 1: the six foot eight lumberjack did. Don's voice for him
Speaker 1: is that I can't tell which lines are pill and
Speaker 1: which lines are done. That's how good he was at
Speaker 1: doing an impression of down Morrow. A limited role in
Speaker 1: the entertainment firmament, but apparently a lucrative one. So the
Speaker 1: film runs and it's a big hit, and I'm in it,
Speaker 1: and I'm twenty eight years old, and by the time
Speaker 1: the film was premiering, my first gray hair started to
Speaker 1: come in so it is a record of me when
Speaker 1: I still had some baby fat and all black, shiny hair.
Speaker 1: At some point, not long after it premiered in late
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty seven, Tribune, the company that in fact owned
Speaker 1: the station I was working for at the time, Channel
Speaker 1: five in LA, bought the rights to this film to
Speaker 1: run on all of its stations nationwide, and at least
Speaker 1: twice a year they would run it, say on a
Speaker 1: Friday night, and then on a Saturday afternoon, and then
Speaker 1: on a Sunday night on all of their stations. It
Speaker 1: would get like three plays in three days. So if
Speaker 1: you were twisting almost anywhere in the nation, you saw
Speaker 1: this film and me. And the older I got and
Speaker 1: the more prominent I got, And by the time I
Speaker 1: was in Sports Center in nineteen ninety two, we were
Speaker 1: five years removed from the recording of this thing. I
Speaker 1: didn't look quite so much as I did in this film.
Speaker 1: Plus I did this film without my glasses. They said,
Speaker 1: can you do it without the glasses? And I went sure,
Speaker 1: because I could still see you without my glasses. And
Speaker 1: there I am with no glasses and dark hair. And
Speaker 1: I once got a call from a girlfriend about nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety four who saw me on a tribune station in
Speaker 1: the Midwest and said, do you have a son? And
Speaker 1: I said no. He goes guy. She says, I saw
Speaker 1: some guy on TV in a movie. I swear to god,
Speaker 1: this guy looks like your son. Do you mean you
Speaker 1: can tell me I won't break up with you. I'll
Speaker 1: still be your girlfriend. But what do you have a son?
Speaker 1: An adult son? I went, no, that's that's me. How
Speaker 1: long ago was this filmed? Like eight years? Holy cow,
Speaker 1: have you aged? But there was a check involved in
Speaker 1: this and it ran well into the late nineties. And
Speaker 1: I think I last saw somewhere on cable about two
Speaker 1: thousand and three. And Bobby Roth asks a great question
Speaker 1: as he goes out to do his documentary. This is
Speaker 1: now his thing. He's no longer an entertainment movie maker.
Speaker 1: He's a documentarian, a filmmaker about democracy, and he's doing
Speaker 1: his part to try to save democracy too. And that's
Speaker 1: what we talked about. He asked me to introduce myself.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm the podcaster, the original anchor of MSNBC
Speaker 1: and a commentator, and I was the seventeenth male lead
Speaker 1: in the movie Dead Solid Perfect. There is, as always
Speaker 1: a punchline to this two of them, Correne Borr, the
Speaker 1: ice bucket lady. About fifteen years after we recorded this,
Speaker 1: I put on my TV and there's a commercial in
Speaker 1: which a mom is driving her new car to go
Speaker 1: pick up their kids at the school, and it's Krinborer.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to shout at the characters in the commercial,
Speaker 1: Hey do you know about her and the ice machine?
Speaker 1: And soon Krin Borer, who had a lovely, kind of decent, calm,
Speaker 1: long suffering mother face that had grown out of her
Speaker 1: running down a hallway naked to get ice face, she
Speaker 1: was suddenly the mother in every television commercial for maybe
Speaker 1: ten years, ending around twenty eleven or twelve, every damn
Speaker 1: commerce hundreds and hundreds. It's like, and there's the mother
Speaker 1: of the nation, Corin Borer. And nobody ever brought up
Speaker 1: the ice bucket scene would have seemed to me natural
Speaker 1: that they gave her a job for some hotel chain
Speaker 1: somewhere in which she runs down the aisle to get
Speaker 1: ice fully close oh, then followed by her six children
Speaker 1: under the age of five, but who listens to me?
Speaker 1: And then the punchline of all punchlines, apart from the
Speaker 1: fact that I saw Bobby Roth last week for the
Speaker 1: first time in thirty seven years, and he was great
Speaker 1: and we had a great time. And now I will
Speaker 1: have been in two films, basically consecutive films, both of
Speaker 1: them made by Bobby Roth in different centuries. The punchline
Speaker 1: is maybe two thousand and eight or nine. I was
Speaker 1: flying back from Los Angeles to New York, and I
Speaker 1: thought I saw him as we sat down on the plane,
Speaker 1: but wasn't sure and didn't want to get up and
Speaker 1: go looking for him in the plane. But we get
Speaker 1: to JFK Airport and I wait for the other passengers
Speaker 1: to come off, and after a few minutes and just
Speaker 1: about to give up and go and get my bag
Speaker 1: and go home, there he is. And he sees me
Speaker 1: and lets out a shout, Hey, my co star. It's
Speaker 1: Randy Quaid. And he was already beginning to go a
Speaker 1: little towards where he is now, and he was again
Speaker 1: just lovely to me. And I don't know what happened.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the lesson of dead solid perfect.
Speaker 1: I tend to think maybe these bad things happened to
Speaker 1: him because because of the current border running down the
Speaker 1: hall with the ice cube scene. I've done all the
Speaker 1: damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. I
Speaker 1: don't even think there's a DVD of Dead Solid Perfect.
Speaker 1: It's a damn shame. It's a great film. Most of
Speaker 1: our countdown music was arranged, produced, and performed by Ryan
Speaker 1: Ray and John Phillip Schaneil our musical directors have Countdown.
Speaker 1: It was produced by TKO Brothers. Mister Ray was on
Speaker 1: the guitars, bass and drums. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards.
Speaker 1: Our satirical and pithical and pithical. Our satirical pithical musical
Speaker 1: comments are by the bestical baseball Stadium mccoal organist ever,
Speaker 1: Nancy Faust. The Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by
Speaker 1: Mitch Warren Davis Curtisy of ESPN is the sports music.
Speaker 1: Other music not including the love theme from Dead Solid Perfect,
Speaker 1: and there is one. It was arranged and performed by
Speaker 1: the group No horns allowed by anouncer Today is my
Speaker 1: friend Dennis Leary. Everything else was as always my fault.
Speaker 1: That's countdown for today. Day one hundred and ninety of
Speaker 1: America held hostage again just two hundred and eighty one
Speaker 1: days until the scheduled end of his lame duck and
Speaker 1: lame brain term, unless he is removed sooner by MAGA
Speaker 1: and Jeff TH's epstein and that fully credible witness Glain Maxwell.
Speaker 1: The next schedule of Countdown is Thursday. Until then, I'm
Speaker 1: Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.
Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production of iHeartRadio. For
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