WEBVTT - Ep. 44 — Sometimes you just need a sad nap 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:18.759 And we're back. 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:21.279 So this is Brown Ambition, Right, We're trying to be 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:24.200 more mature and actually name the podcast before we start 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:24.880 to start talking. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.160 Right, this is Brian Ambition. Welcome. We will be your 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:31.400 host today and every day. 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:32.280 All right. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.000 I am Tiffany and this is Mandy. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:36.760 So we have a lot to talk about. 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:41.200 I feel like we should start with a good. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:41.400 I could use some good news. What do you what 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:41.880 do you have? 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:42.599 Well? 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:46.480 I just came back from essence Fest and it was amazing. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.760 Everybody was at essence Fest book but me, I feel 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:52.760 like I had severe fomo. 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:56.920 It was honestly, like like severe, It was just. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.360 It was just I don't know, all all good black things, 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:05.400 like everything from like the best food OMG. 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:06.760 Like oh, I just love my people and some food 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:08.959 we know how to throw down. I was like, dang, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.720 New Orleans. Honestly ten pounds. I guess. 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:13.920 I love New Orleans and what. 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:16.280 I love about people is there every year? Yeah, it's 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:16.880 there every year. 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.000 Okay, good because why be anywhere else exactly? 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:21.880 And there's just so so much soul in the city. 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:23.880 Because what I really loved about New Orleans and the 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:27.080 people there is that like they take so much pride, 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.560 especially in their food. I mean, you can't ask anybody 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:32.959 where to eat without getting like ten suggestions or specific things. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:33.560 They're like, oh, for. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.560 Oysters, you need to go here, but if you want 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.319 five chicken, you need to go here. 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:38.560 But if you want. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:44.240 And so the food was amazing, the like the empowerment 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.800 sessions were awesome. The convention center, I was like, I've 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.800 never seen like literally some companies. It's like it's like 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.360 they tore down the building and rebuilt it in the 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:56.000 convention Center, like they're they're they call them, I guess 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.520 activations like their booze. Like I can't even call them 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.600 a boost. I feel like to call them booze would 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:01.600 be like disrespectful. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.600 Can you just real quick, just for me and everybody else, 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.000 just what is Essence Fest? 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:11.040 And like a nutshell, So Essence Fest is a music 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:16.280 festival and a mixture of like empowerment and entertainment. So 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.160 half of it is like this awesome music festival that's 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:21.560 three nights and all these big acts, and then the 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.200 other half are all these empowerment. 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:27.640 Like workshops and stuff. It's specifically geared toward women. 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:31.040 Of color, right, and it is awesome because you have 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:34.840 like every brand that has anything to sell toward women 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:38.760 of color that are there, And honestly, it's just awesome, noness. 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:40.960 It's just like one big party for three days or 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:42.160 four days, three nights. 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.120 Yeah. I always thought it was music, but then after 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.120 like knowing people like you that have been going there, 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:48.960 I thought, what is it at a conference? Is it 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:53.200 like soul sessions? What's happening? And I saw this this 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:55.880 year seem like I don't know if I've just followed 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.320 more people who were going this year, but I feel 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:00.680 like this year was bigger than any other year in 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:01.120 the past. 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:03.120 Yeah, they had a lot of news, so this is 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.320 the first year they did like money and power like that. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:08.400 They had like a special stage for it because Yeah, 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.600 so that was really cool because they're starting to understand that, 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:13.720 like we need to talk about personal finance and entrepreneurship 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:14.720 and ways to make money. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:16.320 So that was new. 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:20.800 We had some of our friends, Patrese Washington, it's been 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:22.079 on the podcast. 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:26.959 She was there, Tanya of my Fab Finance, Marsha of 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:27.839 the Finance Bar. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.120 So it was like squad was so in the building. 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:32.880 Len Calforn wasn't Lynette there? 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:35.440 Yes, And I totally missed that. I was like, Lynette, 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:38.040 whey are we disconnecting? Yes, Lynnette was there killing it 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:41.240 as usual. She's a regular at Essence honestly, right yea, 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.000 she should be right exactly. 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:44.760 She's like the fairy godmother of all that we do. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.360 If you're new to the show we talked, you should 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.040 definitely go back and check out our interviews with Lynette 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:54.440 with Patrese on the podcast. We got to have Tanya 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:55.680 and Marsha on Someday. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.120 I was thinking that when I just said their name. 0:03:58.280 --> 0:03:59.960 So I was really fortunate. And then so for the 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.520 last three years I've been wanting to speak at Essence Fest, 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.680 and my Papa says, Drina has been like pitching me, 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.640 but it just has not been a fit. And then 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.720 this year Essence reached out to her. They were like, 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:11.360 you know, I think we'd like to have Tiffany this year. 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.720 You think she'd be interested. Rina's like, I can speak 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:14.280 for both of us. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.320 Hell, yeah, let me take my schedule. 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:21.280 Yes exactly. I'm like, oh, the birth of the baby. Sorry, 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:22.839 I'll be Essence No. 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.080 And so it was awesome because one I got to 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:28.160 do cut a keynote at the on the Money and 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.760 Power stage, and then Prudential hired me to do a 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:34.839 panel and like two panels, and then Ford came through 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:36.839 and hired me to do a panel. 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:38.640 So it just was awesome and awesome every day. 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:40.719 I spoke every day, and so it was great to 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:42.680 see the different crowds and to like speak to the 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:45.720 kind of different audiences every day. So I went from 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:51.120 like no essence to like essence overload. 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:53.000 And my sisters came, which was so fun, that's right cool. 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.640 Yeah, it was because the essence gives you, like, you know, 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.840 like passes to like the concerts and this and that. 0:04:58.080 --> 0:04:59.760 So it was just fun to be able to like, 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:02.720 here's VIP for you. There's a little VIP for you. 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:06.520 So yeah, it was just awesome. Honestly, it was like 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.359 is this how the other half lives? Because you know, 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:11.640 I'm just a regular girl. So usually when I go 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.160 to a concert, I'm in the newsweed just like everybody else. 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.720 So to get like floor tickets and you're like they're 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.159 like escorting you to the stage, You're like, wait, the 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:20.480 first day, I didn't even know how to use the 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:22.720 VIP ticket. I just I'm just so used to being like, 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:26.240 you know whatever, enjoying like regular everyday life at a 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:28.119 conference and someone was like, why are you in front? 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:30.080 You know you can go backstage and you can go here, 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.200 And I'm like, I can't. 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.040 Get the snacks I know, right, you know that's the 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:37.839 first thing I don't even drink. But I was like, 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.960 I'll take a Shirley Temple, which is really just soda 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.200 and like red syrup. 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.880 How many? How many goodies ended up in your bag? 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:47.880 Tell the truth? 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.679 Honestly, we left half of them for like the woman 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:52.359 that like took care of our room, because I was 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.760 just like, I just don't need any more any more things, yes, 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.440 and because a lot of it didn't really apply to me, 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.480 so it was like hair stuff that like that didn't 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.000 apply to my kind of hair, and so yeah. So 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:06.880 but just honestly, the biggest and best part of Essence 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:10.240 was Oprah Lady Oh for the first time spoken Essence 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:12.760 Fest and I got floor tickets three rows away. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:14.240 I could have given her a high five. 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:15.920 Oh my god, what did she smell? 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:16.080 Like? 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:18.400 Ah? She just was like I could just see. 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:20.440 I was like, this is why, Like there was a 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:24.560 light that shone on Oprah and she just said exactly 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:26.680 what I think. We all needed to hear, which is 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:29.320 that to make sure that you were actually living what 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:32.000 your purpose is, what your passion is, and not what 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.720 someone has has picked out for you. And when you 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:37.599 do that, you'll be amazed at the door set opened. 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:38.880 Like that was her core messaging. 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:43.120 Meanwhile, I was strung up on a on a light 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:46.120 pole at a rope's course in the mountains all weekend. 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:49.320 I saw the pictures. Was it glamping? Was it really glamping? 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.880 Or did you really just it's so far removed from camping. 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.360 It was like, we rented this beautiful ski shallotte, like 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.520 a little cottage that looked like a legitimately looked like 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.520 a gender cake house, like I could have put icing 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:02.800 on it and taking a bite. It was so adorable, 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:04.440 and it was just it was ten of my friends 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:06.480 and we do it every year. But yeah, one of 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.599 my friends had a hookup one of his, one of 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.960 his friends owns a house and it's on air and 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.440 bb for like two hundred something dollars a night, but 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.840 she gave it to us half off, so it ended 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.040 up being like the whole weekend all together. I think 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.720 between ten people it was two hundred bucks each. Awesome 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.480 food because we always cook together, we go maybe we 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.880 make one big Walmart trip, and then we we each 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:30.600 take a night. So they were happened to be couples, 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:34.360 so each couple took a night to cook and we 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.320 split it up and it was it was it was nice. 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.560 But so on Saturday, we always tried to do one 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:42.320 crazy excursion and we never ever plan it beforehand because 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.720 we're just not it's like a miracle that we even 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:46.920 get together at the house, so we don't really we're 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.320 bad at planning. So it's always something. And we went 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:50.840 back and forth, are we gonna go there's a lot 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.520 to do in the Poconots. Are we gonna go to 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.800 a water park? Are we gonna go roller coastering? Or 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:59.440 like whatever? And finally my friends found this adventure course 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:03.920 which was it's called Treetop Adventures, and it's like I 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:05.720 thought in my head, I was like, oh, that it'd 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:09.760 be neat, and then when we got there, I was like, oh, 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.360 that'll be five courses that take nearly five hours to complete, 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:17.040 and you are doing the most ridiculous things like jumping 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:22.000 off of like heights as high as like three telephone poles. 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:26.960 You're climbing trees, your you're tarzan roping onto nets and 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:30.040 like you're swinging from swing to swing, and it was 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.160 like the most challenging thing I've ever done. All of us, 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:34.719 like halfway through we were like, what. 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:38.600 Who made this choice? 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:41.400 Why it was only fifty bucks each? And I just 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:43.839 looked at my friend Brian because he was pushing hard 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:45.480 for the water park. He's like a big he's a 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.600 big he's a big kid. And I was like, Brian, 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:53.079 I'm so sorry. And you could hear the screams of 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.000 joy from the water park because it's in the same 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:57.559 like the same area. 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:03.360 Sounds amazing, Yeah, sounds great. Yeah no, but you guys 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:05.400 looked like you had fun. I saw pictures. It was. 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.280 It was really fun. And you know, they get me 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:09.720 to do crazy stuff every year. Oh, I didn't even 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:12.760 mention that morning we had the bright idea to do 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:16.320 a five k run. Oh my gosh, because half of 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:19.120 the group is training for the New York City Triathlon okay, 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:20.880 and I was like sure, I've done a half marathon 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.880 over a year ago. So we did a five k 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:28.640 that morning and then a five hour wow. Needless to say, 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:31.560 on actual fourth of July, we did not go anywhere 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.319 we did not do anything. We saw not one firework, 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:36.600 just sat around the house and I. 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:40.439 Can't imagine your body was like, so we're just gonna. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:41.000 Relax right now. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:46.880 So whole different world from the glamour of Oprah and 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:48.200 your face on billboards. 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:49.959 Honestly, I have not even processed. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:51.760 I have not I need to like go to the 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:53.559 park and like lay and look at the sky and 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.760 just like let it soak in, like that this amazing 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:58.800 weekend actually happen in real life. 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.880 Like, yeah, honestly, I just need to. 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:03.840 It's just it's been hard because I got back and 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.240 it's been busy, and then like all the foolishness was like, 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:08.920 you know, the killings started and I just. 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:13.080 Oh, we're here now, okay, Yeah, it's been yeah, you know, 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:17.760 I actually got into a So the killings obviously, well 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.640 as of yesterday it was just one and then last 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:26.079 night there was another two more black men senselessly violently killed, 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:30.120 and yeah, I don't I don't know what to say. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.960 I texted a couple of my friends. We have a 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:36.760 group text going, and I like I texted something, you know, 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.160 kind of joking, just to sort of break the tension 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:40.880 in the group text. And then my friend was like 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:42.960 chewed me out a little bit. She's like, I can't 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:44.680 believe we're joking at a time like this, and we 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.920 had to, like we were texting back and forth, and 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.880 I could tell she is she was she was lashing out, 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:54.040 but she was, you know, frustrated and angry, and I 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.640 was I could just feel her stress, and I was like, 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.680 you know, I feel like you have to sort of 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:04.200 take a step away and take care of your mental 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.440 health a little bit. And all this stuff happens, and 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.439 it's hard to do when you feel like you want 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.640 to talk about it but it's so painful and you 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:16.440 kind of just talk yourself in circles and don't know 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:16.959 what to do. 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:19.040 Yeah, it just. 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.640 I don't know, like to I didn't even watch like 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.480 of course, you know, like little clips have like I've 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:27.280 seen little clips, but not kind of purposefully as they 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.920 like came across my timeline on social media. 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:32.679 But I'm like, I don't want to watch the video of. 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:36.800 Them murdering, like you know, I just and just like 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:40.960 I did see the video of the press conference. I 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:44.560 did see the video of the press conference where like 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.240 the first gentleman, mister Sterling, right, is that his last name. 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:51.480 I know his first name is Alton because that's my 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:52.360 dad's first name. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:57.880 So I did see the video where his son at 0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:01.800 the press conference just like an rightfully so obviously breaks down. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.680 Yeah, and that was like, oh my gosh, because what 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:08.840 do you even Yeah, what do you even say? 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.880 I mean, if that were my dad, and you know 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.280 my dad, I don't. I've always wanted to have this 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.360 conversation with him, and I haven't yet. But my dad 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.200 is like, and I mean, you probably relate to my 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.480 dad's dark skinned. He's six, I don't know, six one, 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:23.880 six two. He's not a small man, especially before so 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.240 he had gastric bypass surgery and before that he was 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.240 like close to four hundred pounds, So he's tall. He's big, 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:32.520 you know. And he drives around Atlanta all the time, 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:37.559 and I always I should ask him, like it's it's 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:41.240 a miracle. He's never been pulled over for anything. All 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.120 he says is like his driving is perfect, so he 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.640 would never get pulled over. But one of the things 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:49.800 I did notice about my dad, especially over the last 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:51.680 over the last few years, when everyone has sort of 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:55.200 been hyper vigilant of like violence, police violence against black 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:58.280 men and black women. Is how nice he is to everybody. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.280 How when he watch in a room, the first saying 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:01.920 he does is talk to everybody, Hey, how you do 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.200 and how you doing, ma'am, how you doing, sir? And 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.680 I feel like when he's doing that, it's almost a 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.120 survival thing. It's like, I'm a human, I'm a person. 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:14.000 I'm not here to hurt you don't don't be intimidated 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:15.040 by me. I'm a nice guy. 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.080 My friend Mark does that, he said, unconsciously, so because 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.760 Mark the same thing. It's dark skinned, six one six 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.960 two to something, big guy, you know, not huge, but 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.920 like you know, so, he says, honestly, Tiffany, That's one 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.040 of the things that my dad taught me is that 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:32.040 like when you enter a room or situation to make 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:35.640 yourself known as friendly, which is so crazy. 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:37.559 I you know, I don't think about that. 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.880 Hell know I you know, I really I we have 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.280 the ability to or I have the ability to, you know, 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:49.880 be rude or ignore people or just walk in and 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:52.160 not you know, just beating myself and not have to 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:53.280 think about that kind of thing. 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:53.840 Yeah. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:55.600 I mean, I've been told I have resting bitch face. 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.680 I'm like I'm sure I do, because my natural face 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.880 is like, you know, like course I'm a happy person, 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.320 but if I'm not purposefully smiling, it's just kind of 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:08.120 like whatever and so to, And I don't think about it, 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.840 but like I can remember distinctly, like when Superman had 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:17.480 had the he had aneurysm surgery, and he or he 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.720 was supposed to have anneurism surgery, and he had to 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.400 just get a note from his doctor saying I'm legitimately 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.680 out of work because I have this life threatening thing 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:25.240 in my head. 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:27.120 And the doctor wasn't there. 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.240 It was like he was on vacation and he had 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.960 like some junior doctor there who like apparently was not 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.280 blessed with common sense. So I'm telling her, like, okay, 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:38.960 you know, here's the note from the hospital. We just 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:42.119 need a note. But the hospital can't give us extended 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:44.880 time or whatever. You have to just write a note saying, yeah, 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.960 he's not just goofing off, you know, he just might die, 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:50.760 so he can't come to work for a few days 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.640 until after the surgery. Then after the surgery they give 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.400 you some other special notes. So anyway, we're in there 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:59.280 and he's like the woman was just being so difficult 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.640 and dream like Superman look like he wanted to pass 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:02.840 out because he was in so much pain. 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.720 And I'm just like, so I'm talking. 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.680 To her and like I'm getting sassy and that's not 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:09.880 normally my nature. But by then I'm frustrated because I'm 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:12.760 advocating for him. I'm like, I'm not understand Like, sure, 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.320 if you understand what I what I'm saying, I'm not 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.200 really We're out sixteen. 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:19.320 Saying hey, can you write me a note so I don't. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:22.120 Have to go to school, Like here's an aneurysm that's 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.040 like life or death. Can we just have a note 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.520 saying that he doesn't have to go to work tomorrow 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.360 so we can go see the neurologist. I don't understand 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:28.440 what's so difficult about that? 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:29.800 And so he got up. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:32.200 I guess to confront her too, and I took a 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:35.960 look at him, and I thought to myself, like, Superman 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:39.800 is six six, like super Chocolate. He's not big as 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:41.440 far as like wide and like you know, cause he's 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:44.280 a little bit on the slim side, but he looks 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.720 like okay. And I just looked and I saw her 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.000 face and I said, go sit down because she and 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.800 I can get sassy together. I you know, cause I 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.280 could see her ten s up like oh my god, 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:55.760 oh my god. Oh got like when I was getting 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:57.680 sassy with her, she was just like what her But 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.680 I can see her look like, oh my god, it's 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.960 about to be a problem. And I thought to myself, Wow, 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:08.240 he couldn't even legitimately like advocate for himself and express 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.120 frustration without it being like a true problem. I mean, 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.200 eventually she gave us, like, you know, the note. But 0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:15.600 that's because you know, just me just kind of like, 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.120 you know, just laying into her. But I just thought 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.160 to myself, Dang, if I wasn't here, what would he do? 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.840 They probably would have called the police escorted him out. 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:27.320 You know. It's just so frustrating because. 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.680 It just and you know, I was just thinking to myself, like, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.560 you know, because I grew up in a white neighborhood, 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.000 you know, some of my most of my friends on 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.560 Facebook are fairly silent, like my white friends are fairly silent. 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:41.880 And you know, because everybody would love to tell you 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:43.600 that like, oh, things are better. I don't know why 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:47.320 people complain, but I think to myself, like, Okay, if 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.440 things are better, is that a big deal. 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.840 Would you like to trade and be black? 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.040 Meaning you could keep the same intellect, keep the same job, 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.000 keep the same family, but you're just black and you 0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:00.880 get to live the black experience in America? Like it 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:05.040 things like you know, like who exactly who would want 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.679 to change? Because you know you wouldn't want to, So 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:11.399 knowing that, don't pretend like it's not anything. You know, 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.639 just because you know you wouldn't want to trade. And 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:16.600 I'm not saying you'd have to like give up your lifestyle, 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:18.800 none of that. You can keep the same lifestyle, but 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:21.560 you would just have to live the black experience. You 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.240 wouldn't want to because you know something's not right, And 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:27.480 to pretend that it's otherwise, to me, it's criminal. 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.480 And it's just it's just so. 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.320 Frustrating because I just see too much and I'm and 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.040 you know, as a woman, I don't get nearly as 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.320 much as like what men get. And I just it 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.399 makes me afraid, like what if me and Superman have 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:39.760 a son? 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.280 Then what that's you know? 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:45.440 I've read interviews from parents and how they talk, how 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.000 they and there is a good article I think by 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.760 Nicole Hannah Jones and in the Times about how she 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:55.800 talks about maybe I'm getting the right or wrong, but yeah, 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:57.800 about how you talk to your son and your and 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.200 your child. But you know the two men who passed away, 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.440 So Alton Sterling was the first, and then Philando Castile. 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:06.480 I was reading an interview with his mom that she 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.080 gave to CNN and she's like, I know my son, 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:11.440 I've warned him about this. He knows not to talk 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:15.520 back to police. We have a whole system of how 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.439