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Speaker 1: Sam Angela yee, I'm Maguire, I'm Laurville, I'm Kim Osorio,

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Speaker 1: and hey, Casia. So you know, I'm glad that all

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Speaker 1: the ladies are here because everybody's going through different things

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Speaker 1: in their life right now. So raise your hand. If

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Speaker 1: you are getting back together with an ex, oh boosh,

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Speaker 1: make me talk about this hunt. And if you're in

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Speaker 1: the way, I'm supposed to raise my hand for that too.

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Speaker 1: You're not getting back together with an ex. Kim, who

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Speaker 1: are you dating? He was a guy. She was in

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Speaker 1: a new relationships. I didn't know it was an So

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Speaker 1: you're in a new relationship with an X. And why

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Speaker 1: are you trying to give you so from how long ago?

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Speaker 1: Cause you've been married for how long? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do this. I was married, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I don't consider myself married anymore. I was married for

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Speaker 1: seven years in a relationship with thirteen Okay, so this

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Speaker 1: is somebody from before thirteen years ago. Jesus, why did

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Speaker 1: you reconnect? Yeah? Instagram for Instagram? So, hey, did you

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Speaker 1: hit him or did he hit you? Not at hit him? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so he hit you and said how did this work?

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Speaker 1: Like the big head so you're still married, damn, get

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Speaker 1: right to not really? And I did say something like

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Speaker 1: not really married? I did, I mean, yeah, And that's

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Speaker 1: how we started talking. So what was his situation? Was

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Speaker 1: he coming out of something too? I don't know what

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Speaker 1: he was doing. I mean, I is he married. I'm older,

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Speaker 1: so it's like he wasn't married. So whatever situation he

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Speaker 1: was in, I hope he's not in it anymore. It's

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Speaker 1: just like a rebound situation, you think. I don't think so,

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Speaker 1: because I remember I was separated for a year before

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Speaker 1: I started, you know, dating, so you had a rebound already.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have. AM was my own Damn. I was

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Speaker 1: like dating myself, sleeping alone. Think that's where I'm at

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Speaker 1: all right now he's gonna get to this guy in

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Speaker 1: the room now, So Larry, how you are happily dating? Yes?

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Speaker 1: And how's that going? You're enjoying yourself? I mean some

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Speaker 1: days I'd be like I don't want to sunk with anybody,

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Speaker 1: and I want to delete everybody's phone number. And then

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Speaker 1: some days I'm just like this is fun. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're not a Gemini. Like a Gemini, I think I'm bipolar,

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Speaker 1: Like what about you? So you said you're no, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm I don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm

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Speaker 1: just I'm having fun. But I'm not dating. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: call it dating because i'm not. I'm not I can't

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Speaker 1: take anyone serious, so I can't date. I can't call

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Speaker 1: it dating. So what do you call it? That's dating now? No,

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Speaker 1: because it's like I'm not, I'm not there, I'm not

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Speaker 1: engaging that way. I'm taking them serious. Happened to you

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Speaker 1: that you're in this predicament now that you don't take

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Speaker 1: anyone seriously. I'm just focused on my business. So it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't have time for to invest into a guy,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not really I don't know how to show emotions.

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Speaker 1: So they get a little frustrated. They get a little frustrated.

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Speaker 1: They get annoyed with me after a while because I'm

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Speaker 1: not I'm not about to be on someone's back, so

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Speaker 1: I like to be on my back. Yeah, I think it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you have to be on somebody's back,

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Speaker 1: and hard of a show that you cared out. You

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Speaker 1: don't like doing cute things. You don't cuddle, No, No,

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Speaker 1: you don't cuddle, not right now? Not right now, check

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Speaker 1: and leave when it does happen. That is how it

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Speaker 1: kind of goes right now. But like what is that?

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Speaker 1: Are you trying to protect yourself from? Yeah, like, I

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Speaker 1: just don't want to drama. I don't want anyone trying

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Speaker 1: to control me. I don't want anyone trying to tell

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Speaker 1: me what they think or how they feel, or them

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Speaker 1: being jealous. I don't want to deal with that. So

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Speaker 1: I kind of just want to be by myself until

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys like that that wanted situation like

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Speaker 1: that where they're married. Yeah, but no I do are

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Speaker 1: Like there's guys that are also just dating and they

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Speaker 1: might just want to Yeah, they might just want to

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Speaker 1: go out on a date and have something like once

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Speaker 1: in the blue. If it's once in the blue, isn't

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Speaker 1: really like still called dating? Yeah, okay, I'm dating, but

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Speaker 1: that's dating. Okay, So I'm dating. You're not in a

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Speaker 1: relationship with these people. You just go out to eat

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Speaker 1: here and there and maybe people, Yeah they feed me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's called dating. Have you ever felt like you got

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Speaker 1: so lost in your work that it was hard for

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Speaker 1: you to date, Like you know how we say like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm just working concentrating on my business right now, and

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Speaker 1: that's my number one priority. That's kind of where you are,

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Speaker 1: right Yeah. I think it's a combination of things, but

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Speaker 1: that's definitely where I am. I just feel like I

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Speaker 1: want to be so self sufficient that it's just better

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Speaker 1: for me to just focus on what I'm doing without

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Speaker 1: the distractions in my head. But you do have needs

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Speaker 1: as a woman, so once in a while, you do

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Speaker 1: get a little hot and then you got to eat

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Speaker 1: my pussy and get out. I think that's where I'm at.

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Speaker 1: That's where I'm like, I can't really call it dating

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I don't even want better trash. It's just,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you just want to for real. Do

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Speaker 1: you get pleasure out of giving pleasure to him in

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Speaker 1: right now right now? No, I think I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: like a she woman. Man, that's crazy. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like when you're dating, you have those days.

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Speaker 1: Because she's been going through this full it's like eighteen months.

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Speaker 1: I've been like that. Well, I don't know, she went

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Speaker 1: through a little bit of a maybe she's a little

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Speaker 1: tramastd from Yeah, so that's what it is. Like I

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Speaker 1: was with somebody, I was engaged with somebody I was

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Speaker 1: doing a lot of foul things to me that ended

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Speaker 1: up with them causing an accident with boiling water. So

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Speaker 1: after that I kind of slow down. You've got to

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Speaker 1: be more specific when you talk about boiling water in

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Speaker 1: a situation where hell, um, we were arguing and during

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Speaker 1: the time, I can't tell you that he threw the

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Speaker 1: boiling water on me, but we were arguing, and and

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Speaker 1: during this time, I had bad nerves. That's kind of

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Speaker 1: how I started my business. That's why it's called reborn.

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Speaker 1: But um, I had bad nerves. And we were arguing,

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Speaker 1: and he used to always threaten me, like threatened to

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Speaker 1: kill me, threatened to cut my face up, all of

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Speaker 1: that stuff. So he would tell me he would kill

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Speaker 1: me and go to Persia, and it couldn't extradite him,

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Speaker 1: so like yeah, and he had enough money to do it,

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Speaker 1: so I kinda at that point believed him. So now

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Speaker 1: for me, dating is like and then a party was like,

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Speaker 1: what was wrong with you that you attracted somebody? Look, no,

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Speaker 1: don't ever blast said what happened with that boiling water?

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Speaker 1: So we were arguing, and like I said, during this time,

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Speaker 1: I had bad nerves. So whenever we would get into fight,

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Speaker 1: or he would just yell at me. My hands would

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Speaker 1: be shaking, or I get in my car and I

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Speaker 1: just start driving. I get in the car, no I

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Speaker 1: don't have gas, and still drive and be on the

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Speaker 1: side the row stuck. Like this was an everyday thing.

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Speaker 1: I'd wake up at six am throwing up jaundice just

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Speaker 1: from the mental control more than anything that he had

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Speaker 1: over me. So now that's what I mean. Like when

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Speaker 1: we were arguing this particular day, he just was like,

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Speaker 1: I used to boil fabuloso, so like because I smoke weed,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I used to boil a fabulo. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that it's not a good idea. But

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Speaker 1: we started arguing and he was like, I'm gonna make

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Speaker 1: you drop this spot. And that's exactly what ended up happening.

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Speaker 1: So naturally, I'm calling on one one, I'm screaming, I

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Speaker 1: have second and third degree burns. I spent almost them

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Speaker 1: off in the burn unit and living span, you know,

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Speaker 1: so now I've ever you know, I've a restrained or

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Speaker 1: on that person, all that good stuff. But they definitely

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Speaker 1: you know, That's why I'm like dating for me now,

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Speaker 1: like it takes a lot. It takes a lot. It

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Speaker 1: takes a lot. Do you tell that story, like when

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Speaker 1: you meet somebody. I have to. I have to because

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Speaker 1: if I don't, you don't understand why I'm so flat,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Until I tell you like

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Speaker 1: I'm good with women, but with men is kind of

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Speaker 1: like not that I hate them, but it's just like

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Speaker 1: I gotta see it. Yeah, I gotta see if you okay, sir,

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Speaker 1: you know, because you don't want that to happen again.

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Speaker 1: And he was a sociopath, so it wasn't like a

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Speaker 1: person that you just you know, you meet him and

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Speaker 1: you think nothing's wrong with him. If you met him

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Speaker 1: today and tomorrow, you wouldn't think anything was wrong with him.

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Speaker 1: But behind closed doors, it was a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: I mean to kill it. Don't have a faith, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, you you meet a person,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna give you a certain representation that they stuff

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Speaker 1: to get you. Everybody here has the wheel. You have

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Speaker 1: the wheel. The it's like how you recognize, you know,

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Speaker 1: this to certain behaviors and people. Yeah, i think I'm

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Speaker 1: just a domestic violence wheel. Yeah, I think I'm just

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Speaker 1: to the point where I'm just like I mean you

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Speaker 1: you you can. There's a lot of men out there

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Speaker 1: that you know, they initially when they come, they start

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Speaker 1: like one of the first phases of like a narcissist

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Speaker 1: or associate is love bombing, and so the way that

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Speaker 1: they get you, and he was the best and the

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Speaker 1: beginning like the best, and then it just was like

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, you know, and then the emotional first

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Speaker 1: it starts emotionally, you know, with the abuse. So the

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Speaker 1: abuse goes for a while emotionally, and then it will

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Speaker 1: eventually turn physical if it gets to that point. Most

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Speaker 1: stuff gets physical. But I'm not after the break, I

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Speaker 1: want to say I've been through that. Yeah, I guess,

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Speaker 1: I just you know, I'm still I'll have a scar

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Speaker 1: I gotta look at every day. So it's kind of like,

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Speaker 1: now that's horrifying. And he still tries little things to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, harass me or bother me. Even for you

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Speaker 1: to have gotten over it, is that what it is?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I feel like I should be

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Speaker 1: a term right now. Now. There's no time in definitely

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Speaker 1: no time, especially if you're not like opening up and

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Speaker 1: talking about it and doing things. Did you go to therapy, No,

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Speaker 1: but met these wonderful ladies. I did a market yesterday

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Speaker 1: and I'm City Line in Brooklyn, and I met these

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Speaker 1: psycho not psycho psycho therapists, say, with these Jewish ladies

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Speaker 1: or whatever. But they gave me some information, and you know,

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Speaker 1: because part of what I do is about that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm an advocate for domestic violence now, so you know,

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Speaker 1: we were talking about it and passing because they were

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Speaker 1: asking me like why each candle is the way it

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Speaker 1: is or whatever the case may be. And I got

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Speaker 1: into it with them, explaining them to them what happened,

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Speaker 1: and they gave me some information. So I'm gonna check

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Speaker 1: it out. But I kind of rehab myself. I just

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Speaker 1: meditate a lot. I have Buddhas all over the house.

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Speaker 1: I just secure my energy. So it just takes me.

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Speaker 1: I heard though, sometimes because you know, it is like

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Speaker 1: an essentially wheel. Oh, it is kind of like a

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Speaker 1: and sometimes you really can't just treat yourself, like if

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Speaker 1: you really need to get professional help, just like if

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Speaker 1: you were sick, you would go to the doctor. You know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like maybe I might be speaking wrong when

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Speaker 1: I say this, but I felt like, as like black

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Speaker 1: women or whatever, I feel like we are we try

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Speaker 1: to be really strong so we don't go to look

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Speaker 1: for help for stuff like that, because I know, like

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Speaker 1: when I've dealt with my situations, I don't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna speak for everybody, but I will say

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Speaker 1: when I've dealt with my situations, one, I don't even

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Speaker 1: talk Yeah, y'all never heard me talk about none of

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Speaker 1: that on this show. I don't talk about it. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'll kind of just deal with dealt with it, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like maybe that is a mistake we

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Speaker 1: make because there might be certain certain situations that I'm

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Speaker 1: in now or whatever, where I deal with a certain

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Speaker 1: guy and I shut down or I won't, you know,

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Speaker 1: communicate the same exactly, and I think it's probably because

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Speaker 1: my past situation. But I'll never talk to nobody about that,

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. I took to y'all and I said,

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Speaker 1: and I joke around a lot, but like, deep down

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Speaker 1: you everybody got their problem that they got to work

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Speaker 1: through or something, you know what I mean. And um,

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Speaker 1: I do feel like something like getting a little bit

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Speaker 1: of hoping somebody to talk to is not the words.

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Speaker 1: It's not you know, it's not bad. A very strong

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Speaker 1: thing to do because you're admitting that something's wrong and

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Speaker 1: you need help, because you can't really fix something if

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Speaker 1: you won't really face address it. Yeah, that's that's that's

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Speaker 1: one way. But like I feel like I addressed it

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Speaker 1: every day, Like I said, by what I what I

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Speaker 1: do now to talk about what you do with the candles.

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Speaker 1: You didn't get to smell them, but um, so all

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Speaker 1: of my candles are represented by different definitions of things

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Speaker 1: that I realized I wanted during that time. So like

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Speaker 1: I have a bliss cand or, a courage candle, refresh tranquil.

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Speaker 1: And what I did was research like the sense and

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Speaker 1: what they send to the receptors in your brain. So

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Speaker 1: like they say, citrus smells make you happy, So that's

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Speaker 1: why that's my bliss candle. Or people dealing with depression

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Speaker 1: or anxiety, they say when they send you to those

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Speaker 1: rehab facilities to treat you, they make you sit in

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Speaker 1: the woods. So that candle is oak, moss and amber.

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Speaker 1: But so all of the sense a pretty much like that,

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Speaker 1: and I need that. I got anxiety. Yeah, I'll be

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Speaker 1: like callid on the floor, just heart like my candlew Kim.

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Speaker 1: You said you feel like you had PTSD two from

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Speaker 1: your relationship. I do like diagnosed, right, and what is

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Speaker 1: that exactly? It's post traumatic stress disorder, Okay, and that

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Speaker 1: you can get that from because I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: heard that with something else you can get like like

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Speaker 1: veterans who have been to war, anything like anything happened,

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Speaker 1: you know, traumatic you know. Yeah, it's the potion after

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Speaker 1: you're still dealing with those you're still dealing with stress. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and there is they're like medicine that they say you

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Speaker 1: should take on the you know, I mean the parhouse

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Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, And I think like with me, like

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Speaker 1: I'm always looking for the natural way as well. Like

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Speaker 1: I had someone prescribed me this calm like t powder

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Speaker 1: that's just like you put it in hot water, and

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Speaker 1: that was supposed to help with the anxiety. It's called calm,

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Speaker 1: I think because I was just you know, a nervous

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Speaker 1: wreck um. But also like I'm into a lot of

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Speaker 1: the stuff that that she was talking about. I mean

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Speaker 1: the candles that I have, I carry crystals with me

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Speaker 1: so that yeah, you know, for depression for you know,

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Speaker 1: just kind of like well now I'm caring, Like now

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm out of that really dark and placed when

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Speaker 1: you do it though, like you know what, I I

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Speaker 1: don't really share that with people unless they're into it.

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Speaker 1: And so I don't walk around like my crystals, you know,

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Speaker 1: like you I got the rocks on me. She's a

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Speaker 1: very open person. Rose Courts. I have a huge Rose

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Speaker 1: Courts that I bought. It's a huge crystal. Right, it's

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Speaker 1: to the shape of a heart. I'm supposed to improve

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Speaker 1: your love life, yes, and I bought it. I bought

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Speaker 1: it for a specific purpose because it is supposed to

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Speaker 1: attract love. And I thought about it like as trying

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Speaker 1: to attract somebody back to it, but it attracted something else,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like, so yeah, be careful what you asked

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Speaker 1: for in certain ways because you did get somebody. It's

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Speaker 1: right by my bed, it's right there. How when they

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Speaker 1: were going through so many things in your personal life? Like,

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Speaker 1: how does that affect work well for me? My work

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Speaker 1: is just in terms of being creative. It's like a

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Speaker 1: period I go through when I was dark and going

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Speaker 1: through like you know what I was going through. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't write, right, I couldn't write because it consumed me.

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Speaker 1: But I just had to write certain things, so I did.

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Speaker 1: But then you come out of it, and like there's

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Speaker 1: a lot that you need to get out. So now

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Speaker 1: I'm in like super creative mode. So I just want

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Speaker 1: to write and do things. And like I'm documenting and

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Speaker 1: just kind of recording myself and I started that's a

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Speaker 1: whole another thing. I just have to get the story out.

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Speaker 1: I have to get it out of me. It's like

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Speaker 1: when I wrote the book right straight from the source.

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Speaker 1: That was because right after the lawsuit, I had to

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Speaker 1: get it out, and so I did it. As you know,

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Speaker 1: it's therapist. They like the beginning of this whole me

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Speaker 1: too movement back in the day because Kim used to

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Speaker 1: be the editor in chief of the Source and had

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Speaker 1: to deal with a lot of different things that you discussed,

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Speaker 1: and I talked about it in the book. That's why

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Speaker 1: I posted it the host before, you know, because back

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Speaker 1: then it wasn't cool. You see back then when yeah,

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Speaker 1: this was this was two thousand and six. When I

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Speaker 1: spoke up. What happened was that people felt like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like today. If somebody was to say something

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Speaker 1: and um, the people that you were speaking out against it,

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Speaker 1: well she's a whole or she slept with somebody. They'll

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Speaker 1: be like, you can't say that, you can't say that.

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Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, then that's what happened. Like the

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Speaker 1: minute I said this happened to me, right, they come

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Speaker 1: back with but you were sleeping with people like okay,

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Speaker 1: because I have a job, right, Like they had nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with nothing, But that was the ammunition, Like

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Speaker 1: that was how they tried to discredit me back then.

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Speaker 1: And yeah that was but but but it was okay.

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Speaker 1: Everybody was. Everybody was. Everybody was kind of nobody said

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Speaker 1: you can't say that, it has nothing to do with nothing.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was saying, But everybody else was like

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Speaker 1: you might even feel like you were getting blackballed after that.

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Speaker 1: After that, I did after that because only women helped

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Speaker 1: me after that, really, like only women that have been

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Speaker 1: through their own stuff that I know. It was like

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, the music industry, they knew what it was.

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Speaker 1: So they was like we're gonna we're gonna help you know.

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Speaker 1: Everybody else like come on, you're never gonna get a job.

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Speaker 1: Why are you doing this because it was publicity, Like

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Speaker 1: you up, but I know what I Usually when a

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Speaker 1: lot of times when when women speak out, always give

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Speaker 1: them the benefit of doubt and believe them, because I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, you're not going to do that just for

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Speaker 1: that because the amount of you know, different because it

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Speaker 1: has become popular and it's cool to do it now,

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Speaker 1: so now it's different. But back then when I did it,

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Speaker 1: like you couldn't tell me that. A woman would just

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Speaker 1: say that just because like, oh, she's trying to get money.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to get any money. I didn't think

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Speaker 1: I was going to get any money. The money came,

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so you didn't get that money. Well, I

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Speaker 1: didn't get that money. What state were you living in?

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Speaker 1: Because in New Jersey they make sure you well they

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Speaker 1: I was living in New Jersey. But that case, the

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Speaker 1: case was in federal court here in New York, so

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Speaker 1: you know, we we eventually settled out. So I don't

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Speaker 1: talk about, you know what, because a lot of stuff

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Speaker 1: happened back then. But I had a judgment, and so

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Speaker 1: a lot of people thought I got the money, but

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Speaker 1: they didn't have the money to give, you know, So

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Speaker 1: when that happens, and you know what, Kim, after all

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Speaker 1: of that, she ended up back at the source. I

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Speaker 1: did a different manage I did. I did after Londell

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Speaker 1: took it over. Then I went back there, it was

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Speaker 1: kind of like my you know, I get a little discouraging,

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Speaker 1: you know. So yeah, it was hard, but it was

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Speaker 1: hard back then to go through that, like you know,

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Speaker 1: when there wasn't that, there was no public support like

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Speaker 1: now for a woman says it like it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: picket signs like yes, bitch, like make some drags everything.

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Speaker 1: So it's like it's weird the ruined things that amplifies things,

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Speaker 1: if it's a magnifying yeah, everything. But sometimes it helps,

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Speaker 1: you know, because hopefully things that are gonna really improve

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Speaker 1: now with people having the second think when they're about

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Speaker 1: to do something, they're about to do something, they have

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Speaker 1: to hold on, right, I'm not trying to get a

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Speaker 1: lawsuit against me. Put my dick away, right, he too?

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Speaker 1: He too. You believe those stories though, you think, like

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Speaker 1: you know what Cosby and hell, yeah, if you did

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Speaker 1: it one time, I'm a criminal. That's what I think too,

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Speaker 1: Even if it's just everyone is like either yeah he

377
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Speaker 1: did it or no, he did it, and I'm like

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Speaker 1: I think, I think yeah, you guys ever aggressively pursued

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Speaker 1: a man, I'm not gonna live. What do you mean

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Speaker 1: now in the bed or like just like like yeah,

381
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Speaker 1: but I'm saying, have you ever aggressively tried to like

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Speaker 1: get with somebody? Describe aggressive trying to figure out So

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Speaker 1: you're you're calling him, You're the one trying to go

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Speaker 1: where he's at. You're the one changing your hands around

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Speaker 1: to make sure that you could be available. I can't

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Speaker 1: say that there was a guy that I was interested

387
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Speaker 1: in and we were kind of just like acquaintances, and

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Speaker 1: I let him be knowing that I was interested, and

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Speaker 1: we had sex and I got what I wanted. That

390
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Speaker 1: was all you wanted. I didn't want to be with him.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to have sex with him. I'm hopeless romantic,

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Speaker 1: so I'll be faith falling in love when I'm not

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Speaker 1: snap still. And then when I was done, I was

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Speaker 1: just like, Okay, I'm done with you. And then he

395
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 1: still would text me and hit me up and I

396
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 1: would just be like, I got what I want to

397
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Speaker 1: know because it wasn't as good as I thought it

398
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Speaker 1: was gonna be. I've been there, like I've definitely tried

399
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Speaker 1: like and what is the word I'm looking for? I've

400
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: I bagged the niggas, I cat it so and like

401
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 1: after like I dealt with him, I was just like,

402
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Speaker 1: what was it? Why? Like what did I see? Like

403
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: you just wanted to It was after I was like,

404
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Speaker 1: why did I judge? Yeah, and like sometimes you know

405
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Speaker 1: what I do and it's awful. This ship is the

406
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 1: worst thing and people are definitely gonna judge me. But

407
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 1: I will act like I want to be in a

408
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Speaker 1: relationship with somebody and then you don't, and now I'll

409
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 1: just thiss the like, but maybe you did want to,

410
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Speaker 1: you know, like I'll get to the point where they're

411
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Speaker 1: like I'm all the time. I get to the point

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Speaker 1: where they'd be like, okay, you want to, like you

413
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Speaker 1: want us to be to get less, be together and

414
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Speaker 1: please the chase. At that point, it's all about the

415
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: chase for you. Chase you, chase you, chase you, and

416
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Speaker 1: then once they get you, they get comfortable like yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's how I know. I don't even get comfortable. I

418
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Speaker 1: get disgusted, like the person can't touch me. I'll be like, oh, yeah,

419
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Speaker 1: you want to be my boyfriend. I just honestly thought

420
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Speaker 1: was gonna be better than it was. Well, maybe it

421
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: used to give it one more shot. We had more

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Speaker 1: sex more than one. It was a couple of times,

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Speaker 1: and I still hand I gave me some great advice

424
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 1: in the time, like I have sexy back, and it

425
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: was it was all for the first time, and it

426
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: was terrible because I really like size matters. No, you

427
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 1: know what's interesting, somebody sent me up the subject. They

428
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: wanted us to actually address this on the service about size,

429
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: because I'm assuming this person must be small, and that's

430
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: like sometimes small penises can be He was trying to say,

431
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: d anybody ever told you that? Like one time I

432
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: told the guy I was like, feels a little small.

433
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: He was like, I told him, I'm honest. So he

434
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: was like, it's not about the whatever. I got a

435
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: lot of girth. Guys were small penises usually suff really nice.

436
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: It's very nice that the guy said, um, oh no,

437
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: this is a different question. So it's interesting too. This

438
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: person said, um, I have one bone to pick about

439
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 1: lip server side. Enjoy listening to you guys. He said,

440
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: A lot of the ladies tend to think that a

441
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: man who was experimenting is flat out gay. I'm a

442
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 1: gay man and had a lot of experience with heterosexual

443
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 1: men and know this not to be true. What makes

444
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: the person gay is who they want to be romantically

445
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 1: involved with. Sex is just that set. There was a

446
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: study that was done back in the day that study

447
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 1: texuality behavior, so it's called the Kinsey Reports. So he's

448
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: trying to tell us as a gay man, just because

449
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 1: somebody wants to have sex, it's just sex. It doesn't

450
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: make a man gay if he experiments. What makes him gay.

451
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: It's if he chooses to romantically be involved. And everybody

452
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: has opinions and sometimes they're shitty, just like as whole being,

453
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: that's gay. If we have the double standard of a

454
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: man of a female being a slut, prostitute whore and

455
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: she decides to freely have sex with whoever she wants

456
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: to have many people or times, then men have to

457
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: accept the fact that if you try paintings, you're gay. Yeah,

458
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: I can't understand what he's saying, but you're still gay.

459
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: Like no, like if the guy is having sex with

460
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: another man, you're gay. Like I get what he's saying,

461
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: though he's saying who they choose to because he's say

462
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: people experiment, Right when you're younger, people experiment, they do

463
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: things they might not gone gay. Can you go You

464
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 1: can't that's like the insecure your ass. You talked about

465
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: this a few times. It's like the insecure scene where

466
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: he told her like back in college, I try having

467
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: sex with a guy once and I like a head.

468
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: I don't even think he had sex. This is my problem.

469
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: Doesn't want to get sucked in? So why you a

470
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: man getting sucked in? As that's your game because that's

471
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 1: where the g spot is. Doesn't matter if it's bottom

472
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 1: or top, and then like if you go through the top,

473
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,719
Speaker 1: then maybe and you're not game to the bottom. Like

474
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: any sexual contact with man on man is considered almost

475
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 1: discussing this and guess what. That's my opinion. A lot

476
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: of people end up getting stuff stuck in there. But

477
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 1: I was reading this article in Men's Health about one

478
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: man who put the shower head up his butt in

479
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 1: hand to actually get his surgically like my nigga shower

480
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 1: head though, fam like, that's like it was a shower head.

481
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: It was shower head, said you did it with No,

482
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 1: I never got one stuck in my butt, but the

483
00:25:52,480 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: shower Yeah, I was actually the one, the actual in

484
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: the hot you said, my brother in law. My brother

485
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: in laws a surgeon and um in Portland, and he

486
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 1: has stories about you know, I wonder if about like

487
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: surgically removing objects. But people's like what kind of objects?

488
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: Like apples? He's got them apple, the whole apple. He's

489
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: somebody came in the doctor with the apple stuff bananas

490
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 1: getting kicky, and they in the bedroom. You never played

491
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 1: with food in the bed, not a whole apple in

492
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 1: my butt, but the slice of your funny experience. But

493
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,239
Speaker 1: she just stuckup. No, my mom, so my mom, she

494
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: she told me about this thing with jolly ranches. You

495
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: guys ever did this. Nope, you put the jolly rancher

496
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 1: in you like my mama. My mom is open. So

497
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: you know, you put the jolly rancher and you like

498
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 1: a depository, and you take a warm shower, and you're

499
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: supposed to taste like candy, right because it melts. This

500
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: doesn't sounds very like. It's not. It melts. It melts.

501
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: But the bad experience was, no, it melts. But if

502
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: a person, some guys just want to taste pussy. They

503
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: don't want to taste candy and its flavor. But Saturday,

504
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 1: that was experience. You ever played candy? But when you

505
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 1: suck at somebody's dick like a wintergreen life saver. You

506
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 1: know they always need to do that. No, not, I've

507
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: done it with a hall like I really go and

508
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: then so I'm like I'm trying to die. That should

509
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 1: get stuck right here, you die, not from There was

510
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: a new thing around on Facebook, right a woman who

511
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: I think if you google it you can pull it

512
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 1: up like a woman who's eating like side giving head

513
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: you see what I mean? You know what I mean,

514
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if it was fake news or what,

515
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 1: but it was like she died. Oh my god, imagine

516
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:25,919
Speaker 1: something your head giving heads. Yeah, like I guess maybe

517
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: he was you know whoa and she you know, let

518
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: me out like you know what. She don't know. I've

519
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: been there before. I challenge because it was like damn

520
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: their choked like for like I couldn't breathe, like the

521
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: nigger guy so into it like when pu head down,

522
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: let me do it. It's more like no, but it

523
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: just got crazy and it's like I cann't breathe. Yeah,

524
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 1: he sucked my mouth thrusting. Yeah, but I was like

525
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: at him. I wanted him to like until that. I

526
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: was like I wanted until you couldn't know the corpse perfect,

527
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: I died and then I was like, no, I think

528
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: I'm done alright. So the moral of the story on

529
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: the service this episode is don't suck dick. You could

530
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: die from now on, ladies, no one's doing this anymore. Remember,

531
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: you can't die for meeting pussy. So guys, don't worry

532
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: about It's gonna check back in with both of you, ladies. Kim,

533
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: congrats on your new relationship, your new old thing, my

534
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: new old thing. Yeah, and my seven says my ex

535
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: to the next I would like that up the same topic. Now.

536
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: I think you're trying to be circus. It's not my

537
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: fun that you keep doing the same thing, you know. So,

538
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: how did you and oh boy get back together? This

539
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: is just crazy? Are you guys back together? Is it official?

540
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: I think when you go on to Grammar's official Okay,

541
00:29:54,960 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: I honestly was just living my Life's go like it's golden,

542
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: n you know it's. Here's the thing, even when we

543
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: ain't together, we are together, like y'all, y'all both know us. Everybody, No,

544
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: but the last time I really was done, like you

545
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: already know. The last time, wait, I never believed you. Wait, wait,

546
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: the last time I said I was done. I was

547
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: really done. I had moved on and had a whole

548
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: new bay. Right, No, I still had I had a

549
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: new back, but that was more like a rebound, more

550
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: like a keep me occupied, try to take my thoughts away.

551
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: Another thing is Another thing is I've come to the

552
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: conclusion that I'd rather deal with his ship than deal

553
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: with a new nigga ship. Everybody got shipped with that exactly.

554
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: If I'm gonna put up with this ship that comes

555
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: with a whole new man and gotta get to know

556
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: him and know his ship, I'd rather just deal with

557
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: the ship that I've been dealing with for the past

558
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: eight years. That's like him when back to don't do that,

559
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: but decades ago? Decades is right? Five years ago? That crazy?

560
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 1: But did you whatever, We'll see what did you really

561
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: have that same mind frame as Gail? Because because she

562
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: says she was dealing with him throughout the course of right,

563
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Every time we broke connected.

564
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: We you know, even from the first time in the

565
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: beginning of lip service, when I moved out and moved

566
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: back to Philly. You know, the first time I moved

567
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: out of our house, I moved back to Philly, and

568
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: within four months we were back together. I was back again,

569
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: even up and even and even throughout these months where

570
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: we haven't been together. You know, it's always a little

571
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: something going on, whether there's unofficial or official or whatever. Assholes.

572
00:31:54,440 --> 00:32:02,719
Speaker 1: That's how you but that name changes and they being

573
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: to change it, but I'm not going to change it

574
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: because he's an asshole. You're gonna change it, She's gonna

575
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: change it, and she's gonna have to change it right back.

576
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: So what about you? Now, what's gonna happen with you?

577
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: Because we gotta check back in with you. I'm gonna

578
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna day I guess, like y'all said, I'm dating,

579
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna just keep doing I'm gonna keep doing

580
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: that and then we'll see what happens there. I think

581
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: you're open to it n till you find in love

582
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: one day. I don't think you like closed all the

583
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: way out. I just think that. I just think that

584
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: right now, you're taking your time and you know it's

585
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: okay to do that. Yeah, I think that's what we

586
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 1: can People find the candles too O Reborn Body and

587
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: Home dot com. You can follow us at reborn nyc

588
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: um and it's r E b oh you are and

589
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: e so it's not like R A B O r N.

590
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like born actually after my great grandmother,

591
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 1: so her name was born and then the ninth seen

592
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: fifty two is my grandmother's birth year. So the significance

593
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: of that is that when I was going through all

594
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: of this stuff, my grandmother started to be more vocal

595
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: about certain things, and she told me that she was

596
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: dating uh when child she had my mother and my

597
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: my mother and my uncle with a heroin attic and

598
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: before him, she witnessed her mother be murdered by her

599
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: dad when they were like twelve, and then they became orphans.

600
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: So she didn't let me know any of this until

601
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: she was me, and then she started to be more open.

602
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: And that's how I just was like, you know what,

603
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it reborn, you know. And it also

604
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: came after you went through Yeah, so I was like

605
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: leaving him knew that. But that's how I know about

606
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: those New Jersey domestic violence was. And now I'm just

607
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: like a free hot pocket at least able to speak

608
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: on it. Though now like before, I used to like booh,

609
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: cry and all of that, and now it's like it's regular,

610
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: but I'm more like a dude now, Like, but you

611
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: don't never want to affect your future blessings by being

612
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: closed off because somebody was an asshole to you. Yeah,

613
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: but I think it just still takes it. Yea. But

614
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: but and then you know, person comes, they will they

615
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: will open right, and when you understand it, it's kind

616
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: of like, I don't you know, I know I'm not

617
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: really there for a person right now, so I can't

618
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: do it to you. Only thing I can do I

619
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 1: can't have fund with you. We could fuck. I'm happy

620
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 1: to work on yourself, work on your business, and you

621
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: feel like yourself as a person is whole. Maybe, but

622
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: for now we just I mean, in order to grow anything,

623
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: you got to have a strong foundation, and in order

624
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: to be able to be there for somebody else, you

625
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: got to be there for yourself. Right. And then it's

626
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,240
Speaker 1: also like what you said, like learning a person is hard,

627
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: so it's like you got to teach a person how

628
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: to touch you, how to do all of that stuff

629
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: you like done to you. And it's like that is

630
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: one thing about me, But everybody needs stop and not

631
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: you guys, here. You need to stop staying in relationships

632
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,240
Speaker 1: too long when they know it's past its expiration. They

633
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 1: you know it's not good for you, and you know

634
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: it's hurting you. It's not when you know that that's

635
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: something that's just happy. You know, I feel like you

636
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: Sometimes we just say to be comfortable. I've been in

637
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 1: that situation where I did not want to leave and

638
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 1: I was not happy, miserable, And it's also fear like

639
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:31,959
Speaker 1: you're afraid of in alone, but you have to realize

640
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: that it's I mean, you could be alone ship the

641
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: person can tell you'll something else. UM, y'all know forever,

642
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: I've been talking about writing this book, so I finally started,

643
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: and I have somebody helping me, like a ghostwriter. And

644
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: what she made me realize because we talked about like

645
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 1: my past relationships. When she made me realize that and

646
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: all of the relationships I've been and I've never really

647
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 1: been in love until this person that I'm with or

648
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: was with or how do y'all want to put it

649
00:35:56,239 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: back with back with whatever? Um, And part of that

650
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: made me also be like, let me just try to

651
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: work it out because I am in love and I've

652
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: been in love and even when I want to hate him,

653
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: I can't stop loving him. And I've said this on

654
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: the show a million times, through all of the breakups

655
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 1: and back together again, and I just really like she

656
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,720
Speaker 1: really put that in my head, like helped me realize,

657
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: like Dan, because she asked me, like, well, to this person,

658
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: that person, that person, who were you in love with?

659
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: And I honestly wasn't in love with anybody until I

660
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: fell in love with him. I may have loved someone

661
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: or wanted to be with someone, right, but I was

662
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 1: never really in love until this person. And again it's

663
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,399
Speaker 1: we're nine years and you know it's kind of hard

664
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 1: to just break free of that, and especially again when

665
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: the families are involved, and you know, it's just so

666
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: much connectivity amongst you guys, it's hard to just let

667
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: go of that and just say it's over, even how

668
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: bad you wanted to be over. I wanted to be

669
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: over so many times and still went back. And it's

670
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: because you know, we kind of have that connection and

671
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: the comfortability, like nobody knows him the way I know him,

672
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: and vice versa, you know, with intimacy and just I

673
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 1: ordered his drinks from him already. Know we wouldn't eat,

674
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: and you know, we're just so comfortable with each other.

675
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: It's just like, it's kind of stupid to not make

676
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: it work at this point. And Kim, you fell out

677
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 1: of love. I was forced out of love. My love

678
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: was interrupted, you know, so, uh, there's I didn't have

679
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 1: a choice. But you know what I realized after everything

680
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,399
Speaker 1: was that I wasn't being loved enough. So how could

681
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:29,720
Speaker 1: you love someone like that when you know they don't Yeah,

682
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 1: it's not being reciprocated. Yeah, you know it was hard

683
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: for me to accept that. Like I didn't want to

684
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: accept it, because when you walk down the out and

685
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: you take vows with someone, you trust that they're going

686
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: to love and protect. And so I take that seriously.

687
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: Right now, I look at it. I can't wait to

688
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: get divorce paper. But you know, when he initially left,

689
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: that was shocking to me because it was unexpected. I

690
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 1: didn't think he would just leave. I didn't think he

691
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 1: would make the decision, you know, like, oh, and you

692
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: know it was just like you ever seen the comedy special.

693
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 1: I think Chris Rocket was just like that when he

694
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 1: talks about like if a dude getting mad over everything? Right,

695
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: like you made chicken again? You know that chicken. That's

696
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 1: how it was like for years in our relationship, it

697
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: was like any little I was walking on rap right,

698
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: So it's like anything I did was never right. And

699
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: then to that and you and and that's like I

700
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: was so trained to like just you know, for him

701
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: to react to everything I do so negatively right, like

702
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: he didn't like it, so I was defensive. You know.

703
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: The relationship became that it was just you don't enjoy

704
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: each other anymore. And for years, like you could see it,

705
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 1: he was walking with that darkness. But because of the marriage,

706
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: I was okay with that. Like sex, definitely, it just

707
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: stopped at a certain point, it just stopped. And that's

708
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 1: when you know, you know, because when you share that

709
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: intimacy with someone and you're into them, you like you

710
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: understand that that, oh, this is what it's supposed to be,

711
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: Like I supposed to want to enjoy each other and

712
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: the other person is supposed to make you feel comfortable

713
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: about feeling good so that you let go of everything.

714
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: So you forget that in a marriage sometimes because the

715
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: other person is has stepped out and is sharing that

716
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: with somebody else. So when you you don't, you don't

717
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: realize it. And I think that a lot of women

718
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 1: even accept cheating, right. And I think there was a

719
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: point where I would have accepted that, like, okay, if

720
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: you cheat, but you are remorse when you come back.

721
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 1: We're still married, You're still my husband, and so I'm

722
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 1: gonna get, We're gonna get, we're gonna get through it together. Right.

723
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: But if you do that, then you don't want to

724
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: be here. And and and I you know, I went back

725
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: and forth on this, I think in my marriage, just

726
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,879
Speaker 1: like listening to other women who have stuck by their man,

727
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: let them cheat and allow them to do you know,

728
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: I was okay, but but no, if you need to

729
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 1: go somewhere else for it, if you feel then then

730
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 1: go the chicken. You sick of them, go chicken. You

731
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: know what's funny, That's what I used to say, like that,

732
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: And I took pride in that. You know, like a

733
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: bitch ain't cooking Thanksgiving? You know, like me, you know,

734
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: but you you just you you You lose yourself when

735
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: you don't accept you know what the reality of the

736
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: situation is. You lose yourself completely. And I lost myself

737
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: for like a year, but I'm back now. I got

738
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 1: all these different perspectives today on lift service and relationships,

739
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: on dating, on actually having to cut things loose, but

740
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: actually for Gig having to bring it back. I mean,

741
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,240
Speaker 1: everybody has different situations. For Keisha, who is now trying

742
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: to your survivor, yes you are, yeah, that's what they

743
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 1: call it. And you're reborn, yes, so we're looking forward

744
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 1: to the next chapter, you know. And Loria who's out

745
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: here having a great time blowing around in my best life,

746
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 1: living her best life. Heep, doing it because they're doing

747
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: it to us, so keep doing it. That's a big fact.

748
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: You know. Guys that just be all over the place,

749
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: take one for the team. Alr Right, this lift service