Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And
Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
Speaker 1: York City, Philly and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,
Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 2: Hi, Chelsea, are you in Croatia?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 1: Hi, I don't know where I am. I'm getting bounced
Speaker 1: around Europe like a party favorite. That's what I feel like.
Speaker 2: Are you so you look freshley showered? Are you like
Speaker 2: direct from the beach? Where have you been today? Because
Speaker 2: I know it's later for you.
Speaker 1: I was just at the beach. I was in the water.
Speaker 1: I actually took a water slide or I was on
Speaker 1: a water slide. I don't think I took a water slide, yes,
Speaker 1: And then I just came I came home, and I
Speaker 1: took a show show, and I'm getting ready for our
Speaker 1: group dinner.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 2: That's like the best part of the day during a
Speaker 2: education is like you're all warm and toasty from the sun.
Speaker 2: You're getting all cleaned up to go out. I love
Speaker 2: that part of the day.
Speaker 1: And I'm reading the best book for our readers. I'm
Speaker 1: reading The Calamity Club by Catherine Stockett, which is fucking
Speaker 1: awesome and a page turner. So if people are looking
Speaker 1: for a book and haven't read that, get that. You
Speaker 1: will like it. It's a plus for everybody. What's it about?
Speaker 1: She wrote The Help and so she is like from
Speaker 1: the South, and it's about a girl who is in
Speaker 1: an orphanage and her mother abandons her, and like the
Speaker 1: saga of what happens, and then this other family, this
Speaker 1: other woman kind of ends up crossing paths with the
Speaker 1: girl and the orphanage while she's volunteering at the orphanage,
Speaker 1: and it blooms into this bigger, bigger saga.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of twists and turns, and it's really compelling.
Speaker 1: I just I don't want to give anything away because
Speaker 1: I'm only like three quarters of the way through, so
Speaker 1: I don't know what plot points to give away. But
Speaker 1: it's a great read, so I highly recommend.
Speaker 2: I'm reading The Strangers by Bellbird, and on your recommendation,
Speaker 2: I believe right. Oh yeah, we're about the It's like
Speaker 2: the memoir that's popping off right now and the husband leaves.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: Even though I haven't read that book, I listened to
Speaker 1: her interview on Oprah, and I felt like I had
Speaker 1: read the book just from that interview. So no, I
Speaker 1: didn't read the book, but everyone's reading it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's great. Highly recommend. Well, our guest today
Speaker 2: was very fun.
Speaker 1: Yes, our guest today is an Emmy nominated actress, you know,
Speaker 1: from The Good Place, A League of their Own and
Speaker 1: our newest project which is called Five Star Weekend. It's
Speaker 1: out today on Hulu. Please welcome Darcy Carden. We have
Speaker 1: Darcy here today. Darcy Carden is our guest today. I
Speaker 1: watched the first two episodes of your newest show, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: which is called Five Star Weekend with I watched two
Speaker 1: episodes last night, and then they only sent me Peacock
Speaker 1: does this kind of shit.
Speaker 3: All that damnit Peacock.
Speaker 1: Whenever I have a guest on, you know, I get
Speaker 1: a special link and then I get to watch it,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, I go to watch the third
Speaker 1: episode and they only gave me two episodes, so I
Speaker 1: have to watch like regular people when it comes out.
Speaker 1: What's the point of having a podcast if it's act
Speaker 1: like a regular person?
Speaker 3: Two episodes is like worse than zero.
Speaker 1: No, but it's great. It's really good, and it made
Speaker 1: me wonder. It made me think because so it's a
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner is a widow in this show. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to give anything away because I don't think I
Speaker 1: have anything to give away. And all of you girls
Speaker 1: come together. She brings five girlfriends or four girlfriend girlfriend
Speaker 1: four girlfriends from every different phase of her.
Speaker 3: Life childhood, her college best friend, or mom best friend,
Speaker 3: and like her new best friend.
Speaker 1: She's kind of like a Martha Store influencer type. Right. Yeah, So,
Speaker 1: and you guys all kind of come together, and I
Speaker 1: like this concept a lot. Ay, these are kind of
Speaker 1: the shows of the moment. Yeah, you go to a
Speaker 1: like a beautiful location for had you been to Nantucket
Speaker 1: now before we shot this? Okay, so Nantucket is a
Speaker 1: very very specific slices slice of Americana.
Speaker 2: I am very curious, though, do people really call it
Speaker 2: the tuck?
Speaker 3: I don't think. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think that was the first time.
Speaker 3: This is just my character say it? Or do other
Speaker 3: people say it? One other person?
Speaker 1: Two of you say it? Yeah, I like the way
Speaker 1: my laundry smells. Well, I did your laundry, so you're welcome.
Speaker 3: I have no problem.
Speaker 1: I can continue doing it. I do it about once
Speaker 1: a month, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think my character Brook, who's sort of like a
Speaker 3: little like desperate and a little like uncool, she keeps
Speaker 3: calling it.
Speaker 1: The Is that how you play that as like desperate
Speaker 1: and uncool? That what you were thinking.
Speaker 3: I think she's just like she's trying so hard. She's
Speaker 3: really trying, like she she wants to fit in. She
Speaker 3: loves Jen Garner's characters named Hollis, and she just sort
Speaker 3: of like worships her and wants to fit in and
Speaker 3: cannot believe that she got the invite to this weekend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so excited that even though and you have your
Speaker 1: own personal story that I'm sure will be uncovered as
Speaker 1: the series. I can't imagine what might happen there. But
Speaker 1: on the subject of going on girls trips with strange
Speaker 1: girls that you don't know, yo, let's discuss that. I
Speaker 1: have a couple of friends that will not go on
Speaker 1: all girls' trips. They're like, I won't do that, it's
Speaker 1: too much drama every single time, and I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 1: As a I'm a I think at this point, a
Speaker 1: semi mature woman who can pretty much. I like like
Speaker 1: the unknown. I like dipping into a situation where I
Speaker 1: don't know anyone for a short period of time, but
Speaker 1: I don't need to know anyone. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I don't have any anxiety around that.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 1: If someone annoys me, I just to avoid them, you know.
Speaker 1: And I would never be a person that would get
Speaker 1: involved in like drama, the drama.
Speaker 3: I just wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I would just I would removed myself from that situation.
Speaker 3: I'm totally with you. And yeah, I think I think
Speaker 3: that trips like that can really stir up a lot
Speaker 3: of anxiety for people. But yeah, I think it is
Speaker 3: like I'm exactly the same as you, like, like I
Speaker 3: wouldn't get involved in the drama. If it happens, I
Speaker 3: can just sort of like, step, God, have I ever
Speaker 3: gotten involved in the drama?
Speaker 1: I mean, of course, yeah, right. We're women, right, we're human, right,
Speaker 1: so at some point we were involved in the dra
Speaker 1: at least.
Speaker 3: We like chose a side, or you like just kind
Speaker 3: of don't like someone like they rub you the wrong way.
Speaker 3: That happens. That can happen. But yeah, when I think
Speaker 3: of girls' trips, if anything, like, if there is someone
Speaker 3: that's rubbing you the wrong way, you probably bond with
Speaker 3: someone else over it, and it like strength exactly right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But in present day, if you were invited on
Speaker 1: a trip, if you're like, say one of somebody you
Speaker 1: admire a lot, okay, but didn't spend a huge amount
Speaker 1: of time with, and she's like, okay, five of us
Speaker 1: are going away. You won't know any of the other
Speaker 1: and you won't know any of the others. What would
Speaker 1: be your reaction, I would.
Speaker 3: Okay, the fact that you said, like someone you admire
Speaker 3: a lot, somebody that I like, somebody I love, somebody
Speaker 3: I want to spend more time.
Speaker 1: Dion called you, She's like, hey, I have four girlfriends,
Speaker 1: and I loved your work in this and I thought
Speaker 1: you'd be a great addition.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I would totally go for the story for the like,
Speaker 3: it's not going to be even if I get there
Speaker 3: and it's a weird three days or whatever, it don't
Speaker 3: be not worth it.
Speaker 1: Yea. So maybe that's too much of a right, right, But.
Speaker 3: Okay, So even if it's like even if it's like
Speaker 3: somebody that's in your life that maybe you don't know
Speaker 3: that well, but you're like, I like this person or
Speaker 3: I want to get to know them better, which I
Speaker 3: feel like I've been in that situation. I did go
Speaker 3: on a girl's trip with like four best friends and
Speaker 3: I was like the other one and it was great,
Speaker 3: but it was I definitely was like, I, you know,
Speaker 3: I was like a late invite. I was like, it's
Speaker 3: kind of scary, yeah, and it was somebody else may
Speaker 3: have cancer exactly totally and definitely yeah, I felt like
Speaker 3: an outsider, but not in a way that was that
Speaker 3: like ruined the trip. I was just sort of like
Speaker 3: getting to know them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have to get up to speed on
Speaker 1: their personal stories and side jokes.
Speaker 3: And kind of figure out who I really close and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I like that position too. I like the study of
Speaker 1: kind of like sociology in those situations. And I like
Speaker 1: pairing up, you know, like finding like if it's a
Speaker 1: larger group, like I like finding your little clique me too,
Speaker 1: and like having Like I went on this trip to
Speaker 1: Antarctica and like five of us formed this like group.
Speaker 3: I love it, like a huge and it.
Speaker 1: Was like one hundred and ninety people, but just five
Speaker 1: of us were like, oh, you know, and that was
Speaker 1: really fun.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: I mean I haven't spoken to any of those people
Speaker 1: well actually one yeah, yeah, that's all you mean, or
Speaker 1: two too, actually, but but I love it. Right now
Speaker 1: we're like, like what other text?
Speaker 3: And I don't. I hope this doesn't sound like toxic
Speaker 3: or whatever. But one thing I love about trips like
Speaker 3: that is finding your person or your five people or
Speaker 3: whatever where you can kind of like look at them
Speaker 3: and be like yeah, like roll oh, this is a podcast,
Speaker 3: so like roll your eyes at the person that's maybe
Speaker 3: being annoying or whatever. I mean, you know, like that
Speaker 3: not trauma bonding, but that thing where you're you have.
Speaker 1: You're commiserating together about the nonsense, loves coming out yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that too. I like when you can look
Speaker 1: at it. It's like when you're in church. Not that
Speaker 1: I've been to church recently, but when you're in you
Speaker 1: can remember and the pastor says something absolutely ridiculous, and
Speaker 1: I'm okay, that's nothing to do with present day society.
Speaker 1: And you lock eyes with someone else and you're both like,
Speaker 1: what are we doing? I love that?
Speaker 3: Like marry that, yes exactly, that's like bonding.
Speaker 1: But you're already married. Well, yell, that's not legally yet,
Speaker 1: although I'm sure polygamy will become legalized in this administration.
Speaker 1: So just hold on tight, hold onto your pants. You're married,
Speaker 1: but you don't have any children.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: Okay, so.
Speaker 3: Dog, dead dog, dog but dead no children, dead dog.
Speaker 1: You get another dog to replace.
Speaker 3: The dead dog. Well we were thinking too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in pursuit of my second dog right now,
Speaker 1: just because Doug has no social life. I mean he does,
Speaker 1: but it's limited, right. He wants someone, and he wants
Speaker 1: a lot of action, and he has a lot of energy,
Speaker 1: and I like, you know, I can throw something about
Speaker 1: three or forture and then yeah, and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to the park with him. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean, let's be realistic.
Speaker 3: So tiny p s A.
Speaker 2: If you do get two dogs, don't get lettermates because
Speaker 2: this is actually huge in okay, right because everyone thinks, oh,
Speaker 2: their siblings. I was thinking out we did this and
Speaker 2: apparent like they when they were little they had like
Speaker 2: sibling rivalry, like littermate syndrome, and they would be these
Speaker 2: tiny cute puppies and then like trying to rip each
Speaker 2: other's throats out. But now they're fine and they love
Speaker 2: each other. But we called multiple trainers and they were like, oh,
Speaker 2: you could just get rid of one of them. There's
Speaker 2: not really anything you can Oh my god. And Bernice,
Speaker 2: they were they bonded pair, a bonded pair already.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were together. So I got them they were
Speaker 1: because I went to get one and they were like,
Speaker 1: well we have a brother sister combo pladder.
Speaker 3: That's kind Yeah, we're like looking for we're already bonded.
Speaker 3: But even if they're older, Like we keep thinking, if
Speaker 3: we want to, and how often do you see like
Speaker 3: a bonded pair, Please don't split them up? But so
Speaker 3: often people are just looking for one. So we figure
Speaker 3: if we want to, we might as well, wait for
Speaker 3: a bonded pair, but maybe not mates. Avoid avoid litter mates.
Speaker 3: But if they already are bonded.
Speaker 1: Them well, Also, somebody told me not to get two
Speaker 1: males since Doug is such an off a male. Don't
Speaker 1: get another male, get a female. So, Darcy, you don't
Speaker 1: have any children. But I read that you ate your
Speaker 1: pieces hair. What is this about?
Speaker 3: That's so funny. I'm gonna cry my niece, whom I
Speaker 3: love so much. My like, I have some really great
Speaker 3: nieces and nephews.
Speaker 1: How many do you have?
Speaker 3: I have on my side my side, I have two
Speaker 3: for six and on my husband's side, I have two four, six, eight.
Speaker 1: Wow, and they're great. So you have fourteen nieces and nephews. Yes, wow,
Speaker 1: that trumps me. I only have eight. Well that's a lot,
Speaker 1: but it is a lot. Yeah, but I'm not married
Speaker 1: because great, you would have more. That's my main reason. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So my little niece. Okay, but let me just think
Speaker 3: of what this was. I love her so much, I
Speaker 3: need her, I love her. I'm like I want to
Speaker 3: eat her or was she now? But this was like
Speaker 3: this was like it is the best age. I'm going
Speaker 3: to see her this weekend. But okay, so like little
Speaker 3: tiny baby infant, and she she kept getting this one
Speaker 3: little knot in the back of her head like this
Speaker 3: one little these hairs that would just like not up
Speaker 3: and you couldn't rush through them. And so my sister
Speaker 3: and her husband this was her first haircut. It was
Speaker 3: just like not even a haircut. It was truly like
Speaker 3: like that bing and so they cut it off and
Speaker 3: then I think truly just to like there's something about
Speaker 3: wanting to eat her, and then there's also something about
Speaker 3: wanting to make my sister laugh. I just put it
Speaker 3: in my so you just okay, I got it. But
Speaker 3: I mean that's kind of gross.
Speaker 1: Well I mean, how gross can a four year old's
Speaker 1: hair be?
Speaker 3: No, and this was like her face, So then it's
Speaker 3: like it's pure she's like six months old or that's
Speaker 3: your hair. And I'm sure, like we do weirder things
Speaker 3: to like, you know, we what are we putting in
Speaker 3: our skin? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Oh? No, our hair is dirty even but at least
Speaker 1: kids are protected like their skin and their hair, their breath,
Speaker 1: everything is fine for a couple of years, you know,
Speaker 1: so too, and that's nice.
Speaker 3: I agree, Yes, like you could eat like if a
Speaker 3: doctor was like, just drink the baby's pea, I'd be like, okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 3: there's nothing.
Speaker 1: There's nothing exactly, there's nothing strong enough in there that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I'm gonna get sick or like that
Speaker 1: is going to be too strong of a flavor or taste.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that. No, I don't even want to go
Speaker 3: down this road, but I'm sure there's like health benefits.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think we need to be talking about
Speaker 1: drinking children.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You brought that up, brought that up, and you can
Speaker 1: cut that out. Well, I think we're going to leave it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I want to so with fourteen nieces and nephews fourteen,
Speaker 1: right or eight and eight to sixteen, but eight and
Speaker 1: six fourteen, Okay, great, So that's that's like a lot
Speaker 1: of responsibility, like I feel, or I did initially, I
Speaker 1: would say, this feeling is starting to wane.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I felt like very serious about becoming like about being
Speaker 1: an A plus v ant, like I'm the one I
Speaker 1: will take care of you forever you come to me
Speaker 1: with any real problems. That feeling has faded.
Speaker 3: For me because of like just they're getting older or
Speaker 3: just so many of them.
Speaker 1: I guess. So yeah, I guess because they're getting older,
Speaker 1: not because of the volume of not because of the number,
Speaker 1: just because they're getting older. And then they develop their
Speaker 1: own opinions about things. I start to lose interest one
Speaker 1: they have like their own like if they're if they
Speaker 1: if they say like I guess, display idiocy. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like, you're done.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, whoa, I didn't spend all this time
Speaker 1: with you. You didn't have access to our family and
Speaker 1: are all of our democratic values, which is usually my
Speaker 1: big issue to to end up like this, right, like
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 3: I didn't raise you like this?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I didn't spend money to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're to have this be the end of your totally totally.
Speaker 3: Where is is most of your family in California?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, they're in New Jersey. Where did you grow up
Speaker 3: in the Bay Area?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's where one of my sisters lives. I
Speaker 1: love the Bay Area too. That's like one of my
Speaker 1: favorite places to not only perform.
Speaker 3: I bet they love you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. San Francisco is a great city for comedy because
Speaker 1: I used to start there. Like when I have a
Speaker 1: great city for comedy like Cobs, Cobs the punchline, and
Speaker 1: then Cobbs got they redid it and it was really
Speaker 1: even better than the first Cobs. But San Francisco is
Speaker 1: a great city just for a bevy of reasons. And
Speaker 1: I think that's a great place to live.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we grew up, you know, outside of San Francisco,
Speaker 3: but but that's that was our city.
Speaker 1: Where outside of San Francisco.
Speaker 3: I grew up in a town called Danville, which is
Speaker 3: like next to Walnut Creek, which is next to Berkeley,
Speaker 3: if that rings any bells, And almost all of my
Speaker 3: family is still there. And I'm I'm a I'm one
Speaker 3: of four, you're one of six, six, you're one of four.
Speaker 3: Four Look at us, look at us, and none of
Speaker 3: us are procreating.
Speaker 1: Look at us, look at us, three of us coming
Speaker 1: from huge families, and we're like not.
Speaker 3: So okay. So this weekend I'm going to a cousin's
Speaker 3: wedding in Portland and Oregon, Oregon, and staying in a
Speaker 3: big house with mom, dad, sister, her kid's husband, my husband, aunt, uncle,
Speaker 3: two cousins, and down the street from my sister who
Speaker 3: has two kids. It's gonna be like a very family fan.
Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. Though, it will be fun, but
Speaker 1: you know why because it's a weekend. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: a week right, That week's the case. Yeah, two forty
Speaker 1: eight hours, seventy two hours and that's it and then
Speaker 1: get fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. It doesn't even sound overwhelming to me,
Speaker 3: Like I think a lot of people would be like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're gonna need some alone time. I'm like, I want more.
Speaker 1: And are you the fancy person in your family because
Speaker 1: of your because you're on TV and you're an actress
Speaker 1: and if I am, do they treat you that way?
Speaker 3: No? No, no, yeah, I don't know what. Maybe because
Speaker 3: it came to me later. I don't know, maybe because
Speaker 3: they're all kind of like, whoa, you're on TV. Like
Speaker 3: it's not like I've been on TV since I was
Speaker 3: like a young, hot twenty year old.
Speaker 1: Well when you came, when it came to you later,
Speaker 1: I mean you're all over though, Like you're on all
Speaker 1: sorts of different shows. You've been on the good place
Speaker 1: for so many years, Like.
Speaker 3: You're on as many things as Nicole Kidman right now.
Speaker 1: Imagine you are too, Nicole Kidman. Because there's no way
Speaker 1: that Nicole Kidman can do every way.
Speaker 3: Do you do the math on how long things take?
Speaker 1: Possibly? I mean that would actually answer a lot of questions.
Speaker 3: Really, I could see that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: First I want to talk about so Sunday nights right,
Speaker 1: That's where I thought that was related to always Sunny
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia.
Speaker 3: For I know, I know if you like take Ship
Speaker 3: right totally, that's like a spin off and you got
Speaker 3: to shoot that in Australia and you want to go
Speaker 3: back to Australia.
Speaker 1: I want to shoot a season two.
Speaker 3: I love Australia.
Speaker 1: I do too.
Speaker 3: We shot in Sydney, we lived on the beach. We
Speaker 3: just like it was a really good life. I know,
Speaker 3: it's a beautiful lifestyle, really is, and you can kind
Speaker 3: of see yourself just staying there. Yeah, and I've shot
Speaker 3: I've shot a lot of things in a lot of
Speaker 3: different places that I've loved, but I've never wanted to
Speaker 3: I always am sort of like ready to go back home.
Speaker 3: And with Australia, I was like Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I know, and I've looked into it. It's quite expensive,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it's more expensive than LA and
Speaker 1: you're rich. It's just yeah, but if you go there,
Speaker 1: then like you know, coming back and forth is a
Speaker 1: big is a big issue right right right, because that's
Speaker 1: not an easy time skip. That's the worst jet like
Speaker 1: I've ever had is going. Usually I can go to
Speaker 1: Europe and I'm fine, like I can adjust. But Australia,
Speaker 1: you like it two days You're like.
Speaker 3: Fuck, it almost seems impossible, Like it almost seems like
Speaker 3: like getting to Australia seems like well that's I can't
Speaker 3: get there, like there's nowhere. And the friend of mine
Speaker 3: who was the showrunner of that show, Trent O'Donnell, he
Speaker 3: shoots a lot of things in Australia and a lot
Speaker 3: of things in America, so he is like he's got
Speaker 3: that trip down. He will come to LA for like
Speaker 3: forty eight hours. Doesn't that seem nuts?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That does, yeah, because it takes like fifteen hours.
Speaker 1: I know, right from here to la or to Australia's
Speaker 1: in a fifteen hour flight.
Speaker 3: But it was it was just great. I loved living there.
Speaker 3: I loved we like went in the ocean lite I
Speaker 3: sort of I sort of became a beach person and
Speaker 3: then came back here and like went to Santa Monica
Speaker 3: and I was like, like, we don't.
Speaker 1: Go in the it's just yeah, I know it's there,
Speaker 1: but nobody's really in it, right, So tell me what
Speaker 1: you thought of going to nets. So this show that
Speaker 1: we're talking about, how long did you spend in Nantucket?
Speaker 3: We were there for like a month.
Speaker 1: And were you guys all in some house together we
Speaker 1: were in.
Speaker 3: I feel like you probably know Nantucket pretty well.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 1: I know Martha's Vineyards well because I grew up on
Speaker 1: Martha's vineyards. But I've only been to Nantucket I think
Speaker 1: three or four times.
Speaker 3: There's like a place called the White Elephant.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's kind of all over the place
Speaker 3: where it's like, you know, apartments and little homes and that's.
Speaker 1: So fun though it would go isn't that so fun?
Speaker 1: It's so fun go with a bunch of cast members.
Speaker 1: It is a little bit like White Lotus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like we had spent the summer in
Speaker 3: La shooting and we were doing it was like not
Speaker 3: a hard shoot, but we were doing six day weeks,
Speaker 3: which I had never done before, and we were just
Speaker 3: like it was like work work, and then we got
Speaker 3: this little vacation at the end, which still was work,
Speaker 3: like we kind of kept. We would be on set
Speaker 3: in Nantucket like looking around and we're being wait, I
Speaker 3: thought this was any vasion, but it was a vacation.
Speaker 3: It was like when you're on location, you know this,
Speaker 3: Like when you're on location, it's so different than shooting
Speaker 3: in your home. When you're shooting in your home, you
Speaker 3: go home afterwards and you like go to the doctor's
Speaker 3: appointment and you have to go grocery shopping or whatever.
Speaker 3: But when you're on vac when you're on location, you
Speaker 3: really are like, well, what are we going to do tonight?
Speaker 3: When you wrap, You're like, let's go to dinner, Let's
Speaker 3: get a drink, let's see.
Speaker 1: And that's so fun. There's like really sleep away camp.
Speaker 3: It's so sleepway camp. And with these women too. With
Speaker 3: so it's it's Jen Garner, Chloe Seventy, Regina Hall, Gemma
Speaker 3: Chan and then like Judy Greer and Timothy Olephant and
Speaker 3: like just an amazing cast. These are also like really professional,
Speaker 3: accomplished people that are you know, every They're like they've
Speaker 3: got families and we're not like partying in la or whatever.
Speaker 3: And so it was so fun to go to Nantucket
Speaker 3: with them and like, really, you know, really really live
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 3: It was great.
Speaker 1: Timothy Olephant. I want uh someone When Timothy's Shalame was
Speaker 1: becoming fan, this was years and years ago, someone had
Speaker 1: reached out and said, can you get a birthday message
Speaker 1: from Timothy Schallomey? And I thought they meant Timothy Oliphant.
Speaker 1: So I forwarded the message from my friend to my
Speaker 1: agent and I said, is there anywhere you can get
Speaker 1: a birthday message to this girl from? I just forwarded
Speaker 1: the email, so I assumed it was Timothy Oliphant because
Speaker 1: that was the only Timothy I knew, and I had
Speaker 1: just seen him, and I was like, he'll do it.
Speaker 1: He's a totally nice guy. And then I got a
Speaker 1: video back of Timothy Shallomey and I was like.
Speaker 5: Who's this?
Speaker 1: Who the hell is like, who's this little pip squeak?
Speaker 1: And this is when he was like, you know, even
Speaker 1: littler and he and but he was so sweet. He
Speaker 1: had sent this whole birthday message. And when I sent
Speaker 1: it back to my friend, she was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you got that. And I'm like, who
Speaker 1: is this? And she's like it was right before called
Speaker 1: me by your name. I was his first big movie anyway,
Speaker 1: But I was like, I saw Timothy after that and
Speaker 1: I went to go thank him and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to thank you for that birthday and I'm like, actually, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the story of my life.
Speaker 3: Getting celebrities can confused and the access you have to
Speaker 3: them is so funny.
Speaker 1: Y yeah, I know, because it's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: meet celebrities all the time. I think I'm meeting for
Speaker 1: the first time, and then they'll be like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: we met you interviewed me, And I'm like, well, that's impossible.
Speaker 3: You remember, I think that must be insane to have
Speaker 3: to have interviewed everyone. You've met everyone. But also it's
Speaker 3: like a blur on a different level. Yeaheah, it's a blur.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and especially Yeah, So anyway back to you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so is this a kind of trip that you would take,
Speaker 1: like with in real life? Would you go on a
Speaker 1: trip with five girlfriends let's.
Speaker 3: See, Yeah, I would. I mean, you know what, because
Speaker 3: I'm really close with my two sisters and we take
Speaker 3: trips together. If someone handed me a trip, I'd be like,
Speaker 3: I'd probably say to my sisters, let's go. But you know,
Speaker 3: there was there was a while where let's see, this
Speaker 3: is pre COVID, there was like every in between, let's say,
Speaker 3: like every New Year's week, a big group of friends
Speaker 3: would go on these kind of like extravagant vacations together.
Speaker 3: It was six couples. Holy shit, wow, six couples. Somehow
Speaker 3: we made this work. No one had kids yet. It's
Speaker 3: all people that like we came up together at UCB
Speaker 3: in New York and then everyone is sort of like
Speaker 3: working in TV and starting to get like a little
Speaker 3: bit of money. So we were like, let's nobody has kids.
Speaker 3: Let's like blow it out and go on these amazing
Speaker 3: vacations because someone will start having kids next year and
Speaker 3: we want to we won't be able to do it again.
Speaker 3: And people just kept not having kids. So we did
Speaker 3: it for like five years, and we went to like
Speaker 3: Bora Bora and Paris and Hawaii and Costa Rica and
Speaker 3: we did these like really fun vacations and those were
Speaker 3: like some of my favorite life memories.
Speaker 1: Bora Bora was one of the if it was one
Speaker 1: of the top five trips of my life. It's it's
Speaker 1: not real. It's the whole time. I was like is
Speaker 1: this man made felt the same way.
Speaker 3: I was like, am I at Disney like a offshoot
Speaker 3: of Disneyland? Like it's so it looks like it's created
Speaker 3: by imagineers, and I do want to go back, like
Speaker 3: like I haven't had enough.
Speaker 1: I That's what I said. I was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna rent this place out for my fiftieth and
Speaker 1: then I didn't. So I have to figure out a
Speaker 1: time where I can do that, because I remember crying
Speaker 1: the day I left Bora Bora because it's so beautiful
Speaker 1: and the volcanic rock, like the way the water is,
Speaker 1: you can actually see it change color if it's like
Speaker 1: bifurcated by volcanic rock, so it goes from like dark
Speaker 1: blue to medium blue to light blue to lavender to
Speaker 1: dark purple, and you can just see the ridges. Like
Speaker 1: you go over and you're like it's a completely different
Speaker 1: color of water. It's so gorgeous, kind of.
Speaker 3: Like never seen anything like it. It feels like you
Speaker 3: are in just sort of a state of joy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's just like your eyes feel good and it really
Speaker 3: it's it's it's not even like there's that much to
Speaker 3: do there. It's just there isn't it just feels so good.
Speaker 1: It's just beautiful. It really is a slice of heaven,
Speaker 1: and it takes you a long time to get there.
Speaker 1: So once you get there, you can park it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, park it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, said you could do it for fifty two fifty three.
Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't have to be a special number.
Speaker 3: That's true, that's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to throw everybody off. What do you think, like,
Speaker 1: since you have two sisters that you sound like you're
Speaker 1: pretty close with, who is one of them? Like if
Speaker 1: I if you, if I asked you who was the
Speaker 1: biggest influence in your life, would it be one of
Speaker 1: your sisters?
Speaker 3: Mmmm? Biggest influence in my life? Like my immediate answer
Speaker 3: is my dad?
Speaker 1: Oh great?
Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like as a kid, I really like
Speaker 3: looked up to him in a way where I was like,
Speaker 3: I want to be like him.
Speaker 1: You know what was it about him that you admired?
Speaker 3: He was like, I mean is he like what? Growing
Speaker 3: up with him? I felt like, I mean so smart, fun,
Speaker 3: like I think vivacious is maybe a word that describes women,
Speaker 3: but very like full of life and friendly, like every
Speaker 3: you know, friends made friends wherever he went. I would say,
Speaker 3: like everybody described him the same, which is like I
Speaker 3: love him, like, oh, Dennis is your dad? I love Dennis.
Speaker 3: Or he owned a music magazine, so he had all
Speaker 3: these like cool employees that would always say like he
Speaker 3: was the best boss. I don't know, there's just like
Speaker 3: I feel like very positive about him, and he just
Speaker 3: sort of like went for what he wanted and I
Speaker 3: just admired him. He also gave me and my siblings
Speaker 3: so much confidence.
Speaker 1: How okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: I really in my mom too. They really okay, So
Speaker 3: three daughters and a son, they really made us feel
Speaker 3: like we could do whatever the goddamn hell we wanted
Speaker 3: to in the entire universe. Like I really grew up
Speaker 3: thinking that maybe I would be like a major league
Speaker 3: baseball player because my dad was just like, you can
Speaker 3: do that, right, And he would say this thing, Meanwhile,
Speaker 3: you can't. Meanwhile, don't forget. They won't let you not
Speaker 3: ye yeah barely. I mean it's truly so far away.
Speaker 3: But he would say this thing to me and my
Speaker 3: siblings before like a sports game or before a play
Speaker 3: or something. A sports game. Okay, I would say that, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, where he would he kind
Speaker 3: of like rubbed my shoulders and you go. You are
Speaker 3: the best. You are the king of the world. There's
Speaker 3: nobody better than you, and you'd like say it over
Speaker 3: and over like a mantra or like, you know, it
Speaker 3: did something to me. It really I really.
Speaker 1: Took it on well, because I think we take on
Speaker 1: not I think it's pretty obvious that whatever like the
Speaker 1: most hurtful things your parents have ever said to you
Speaker 1: and the most loving things are the things that stick
Speaker 1: with you. The mont is so true when they're constantly
Speaker 1: instilling support and love in you, like the reason why
Speaker 1: it adds up. It's kind of like the marble jar
Speaker 1: like right you they keep telling you and like you,
Speaker 1: little by little you believe it, and like what what
Speaker 1: does a little child need more than that to believe
Speaker 1: in themselves?
Speaker 3: Totally, Like when I think of sort of like the
Speaker 3: best compliment or something I've ever received sieved in my life,
Speaker 3: it would just be my parents saying like we're proud
Speaker 3: of you, right, you know, and they're not even they're
Speaker 3: not stingy with it, but like, you know, it really
Speaker 3: means something.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember looking at my father thinking I he
Speaker 1: motivated me in the exact opposite way, Like I was like,
Speaker 1: I will not be anything like you, even though I
Speaker 1: am a lot like him in my drive and kind
Speaker 1: of personality. I'm out there and I'm outspoken and all
Speaker 1: of those things, his whole like kind of moral compass
Speaker 1: was off, and I didn't like that. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be a cheater or a liar or
Speaker 1: that's why I'm so passionate about being direct and being
Speaker 1: honest even when the situation doesn't golf for it, because
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure that.
Speaker 3: I'm on the level side.
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, I'm not a liar, You'll never catch
Speaker 1: me in a way, like if there's something bad I've done,
Speaker 1: I'll come forward with it, well, thank you. But it
Speaker 1: was more of like watching him as a deterrent yah
Speaker 1: and me being like, oh, I'm going to be you know,
Speaker 1: different than that.
Speaker 3: That's so interesting that we almost did like the same thing,
Speaker 3: but the opposite. I'm like, I want to be what
Speaker 3: I will make of my life, and the person that
Speaker 3: I will be is like directly related to my dad,
Speaker 3: and you're like me too, but the opposite.
Speaker 1: But it's still true that regardless of those differentiations, you
Speaker 1: really all you want as a child is for your
Speaker 1: parents to be proud of you, especially when you're a
Speaker 1: girl your dad, and I guess probably if you're a
Speaker 1: boy too, but there's something about your father saying I'm
Speaker 1: proud of you, and you know that we're all striving
Speaker 1: for no matter how old you get.
Speaker 3: Totally, and he was also like he would he would
Speaker 3: dabble in acting. He would do like the like community theater,
Speaker 3: play here and there. He was on stage a lot.
Speaker 3: He was like a he was like a showman, and
Speaker 3: it really made it feel possible for me too. I
Speaker 3: was like, I want to do that. That's what I
Speaker 3: want to do.
Speaker 1: You're also in Loot, which is on Apple with Maya Rudolph,
Speaker 1: who's one hundred, one hundred and as one hundred. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just one of your shows. And your Handmaid's Tale also,
Speaker 1: which is wild. It's just wild to be able to
Speaker 1: toggle and also very admirable to be able to toggle
Speaker 1: back and forth between comedy and drama in that way.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. That like important to me. You know,
Speaker 3: I love doing comedy and I really like found myself
Speaker 3: in comedy. But my I mean not to say like
Speaker 3: my education, but but my foundation is in like all
Speaker 3: you know, Shakespeare and like the straight plays and the
Speaker 3: classics and stuff like that, and then sort of realized
Speaker 3: that I kept getting cast as like the funny girl
Speaker 3: in those things, and then really like dove into comedy
Speaker 3: in New York. But I love doing all of it.
Speaker 3: Had I had like a friend an early okay, in
Speaker 3: New York, when I was like a struggling actor. I
Speaker 3: had an older woman friend who actually the story is
Speaker 3: too weird, but who actually like used to be my
Speaker 3: high school teacher. And then we ran into each other
Speaker 3: in New York and she was like divorced and young
Speaker 3: and was like, let's hang out. Yeah that it was weird.
Speaker 3: It was I like it, I know, and then we
Speaker 3: like really hung out a lot. But because she was
Speaker 3: because she had been my teacher, she was always like
Speaker 3: giving me advice and she was like, you need to
Speaker 3: pick a lane. She was like, you are all over
Speaker 3: the place, like you need to be the comedy girl.
Speaker 3: You need to be this, or you need to be that.
Speaker 3: And I remember being like, I know this is good advice,
Speaker 3: but like I really don't want to do that. I
Speaker 3: really don't want to I want to, like I'm so
Speaker 3: afraid of picking a line. I'm so afraid of like
Speaker 3: being pigeonholed. I guess as one thing. Yeah, so so
Speaker 3: I didn't do that. You know, so you didn't take
Speaker 3: her I didn't take her advice.
Speaker 1: Are you still friends with that woman?
Speaker 3: No? She actually was kind of toxic.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say it. It had the makings of
Speaker 1: a toxic relationship. But I like when somebody gives you
Speaker 1: unadulterated advice about something they know nothing exactly based on
Speaker 1: what are you giving me?
Speaker 3: A total When you're younger, when an older person is
Speaker 3: giving you advice, you always think it's like impactful, and
Speaker 3: then when you are older than that person giving you
Speaker 3: the advice.
Speaker 1: You're exactly you are. Yeah, so what's it like to
Speaker 1: be on the set on the Handmaids tend Maids till.
Speaker 3: You know what's funny that you asked that is that
Speaker 3: I also wondered that, like in the years of watching it,
Speaker 3: the years of watching I.
Speaker 1: Blame that show for the situation where you're giving all
Speaker 1: of these Republicans these ideas. I know that these ideas
Speaker 1: have been Jerman quite some time. Yeah, and it's not
Speaker 1: a new thing, but I feel like that show showed
Speaker 1: us what the absolute worst outcome could be and then
Speaker 1: they're like, let's try.
Speaker 3: It right, like, oh it worked, yeah, yeah for the
Speaker 3: moon God. When I was on the Good Place, I
Speaker 3: remember watching Handmaids.
Speaker 1: Which is the exact opposite vibe of.
Speaker 3: And that was kind of my thought was like, every
Speaker 3: day on the good Place is a good day. I'm
Speaker 3: like so happy. I'm surrounded by the most wonderful people.
Speaker 3: I get to do the most fun, lovely scenes. And
Speaker 3: then I was like watching the show which I loved,
Speaker 3: The Handmaid's Tale, but I was thinking, like, that's not
Speaker 3: a good day on set. That is like a bad
Speaker 3: day at work. And I ran into Bradley Whitford on
Speaker 3: an airplane. I love brad love him the best.
Speaker 1: He's the cute. Yeah, I love him.
Speaker 3: He truly is so west Wing.
Speaker 1: He's so hot in west Wing and west Wing. Oh
Speaker 1: wes Wing. I mean that is a show worth watching
Speaker 1: every Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I do every night as my husband falls asleep.
Speaker 5: Oh you do.
Speaker 3: It's like his full comfort show. But yes, so I
Speaker 3: were you like looking up lest Wie, Yes, a little bit. Okay,
Speaker 3: that wasn't when I watched that wasn't one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the Wire. I didn't watch that until
Speaker 1: somebody made me watch it and then I tried like
Speaker 1: three times. It was like breaking bad. There are like
Speaker 1: three shows that I've taken it, like it's taken me
Speaker 1: three fall starts to get into and then once I
Speaker 1: got in, I watched them all within like once week,
Speaker 1: and you understand. And then I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to Brian Cranston. I can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I do. But so he had just
Speaker 3: done his first season on Handmaids, and so I got
Speaker 3: to ask him basically like what is that set, like
Speaker 3: it seems so like dark, and he he was like,
Speaker 3: it's actually the opposite. We're like dancing, we're joking. It's
Speaker 3: like there there's like it's very light, which I was
Speaker 3: almost like, yeah, right, like you're lying, and it is that.
Speaker 3: It's really they keep it light. They keep it there's
Speaker 3: like I think intentional, you know what I mean, Well,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, the subject matter is too dark, is too dark.
Speaker 3: And the I mean I came on it in the
Speaker 3: last three episodes of the last season, so they it
Speaker 3: was like a well oiled machine. But they really are
Speaker 3: these like some some of the most amazing actors I've
Speaker 3: ever worked with that can really just like.
Speaker 1: Well, Lizzie is ridiculous. She does scenes by her, she's
Speaker 1: basically acting alone and half of the show like she
Speaker 1: does scenes where there's not another person in them and
Speaker 1: the other person is like five minutes the camera that's right, yes,
Speaker 1: And her face, facial expressions and the look of fear,
Speaker 1: Like what that woman can accomplish in just like I mean,
Speaker 1: it's she should be teaching acting. I'm aking she's like
Speaker 1: she is on another level. She is, she can the
Speaker 1: way she can like pop in and out of it
Speaker 1: is I've never seen it in my life. We're talking
Speaker 1: about Elizabeth Moss. Yeah, yeah, she.
Speaker 3: There was like I remembering a scene where she's like
Speaker 3: walking out to this isn't a spoiler, well whatever, She's
Speaker 3: like walking out to be hung, which doesn't end up happening.
Speaker 1: But she yes, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: And and I'm like in with a noose around my
Speaker 3: neck like watching her come out. It's so dark, so dark,
Speaker 3: and the camera is an inch away from her face,
Speaker 3: and she's also directing this episode and she's like tears
Speaker 3: in her eyes. She's about to be murdered and she
Speaker 3: can see in the reflection of the camera that her
Speaker 3: little like I want to call it a habit, but whatever,
Speaker 3: the like the like you know, their Heandmads and headcover.
Speaker 3: Everything is like off and she like giggles and fixes
Speaker 3: it and then just like drops back in, doesn't break stride,
Speaker 3: doesn't like have to reset, doesn't need to start over,
Speaker 3: knows what the edit will look like well enough to
Speaker 3: be like they're not going to be I mean, she
Speaker 3: just is like a machine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty impressive.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Who's somebody that you've worked with besides Liz Moss, Lizzie
Speaker 1: Moss that you have learned so much from?
Speaker 3: You know, like Ted Danson really pops into my hand. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean Ted.
Speaker 1: He's a smooth operator.
Speaker 3: Is a smooth operator. He's been doing it so long.
Speaker 3: He's so grateful, he's he is his I mean, he's
Speaker 3: he's a couple of things. He's like a good time
Speaker 3: on set, he's everybody's best friend. But he's also such
Speaker 3: a fucking good actor. And it's almost like you almost
Speaker 3: forget that because he's Ted dancing.
Speaker 1: Ye, it's true. As you were saying that, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess he is a good actor because it's always
Speaker 1: Ted Dance Totally.
Speaker 3: He's so open and receptive and as a person as
Speaker 3: an actor, he really just he's listening, he's reacting, he's like,
Speaker 3: he's not he's just he's just kind of perfect. He's
Speaker 3: kind of like your perfect scene partner, and he's the
Speaker 3: type of guy. And also Henry Winkler's like this too,
Speaker 3: where they really they've been doing this a long time
Speaker 3: and they remind you, like how lucky we are.
Speaker 1: I'm surmising from what you're telling me and from knowing
Speaker 1: both of them that they are good at making sure
Speaker 1: you everyone else on set feels really afterble totally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're both so good at that. Yeah, they they
Speaker 3: don't take their position lightly. I think, do you take
Speaker 3: acting pretty seriously in a way, like, not in a
Speaker 3: method sort of way, yeah at all, but my god,
Speaker 3: but in a like I really feel like it's my
Speaker 3: life's purpose and so every time I get the opportunity,
Speaker 3: I'm like, don't waste this, and I fucking love it.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great piece of advice for anybody
Speaker 1: and anything and anything they like, don't waste this opportunity, right,
Speaker 1: because it's sometimes it's easy to just be like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: let me just get through something. Not necessarily with an
Speaker 1: acting gig, but sort of. But perhaps if you have
Speaker 1: a lot of other things going on in your life,
Speaker 1: or if it's a weak job and you're like a
Speaker 1: fuck it, let me just man this and I've got
Speaker 1: other things to deal with whatever. But I think that's
Speaker 1: good advice. Yeah, when any opportunity. I read something the
Speaker 1: other day that hit me and I don't know maybe
Speaker 1: I said this on the podcast, but like, it's not
Speaker 1: about the outcome of your opportunities. It's about the shot
Speaker 1: that you get. I agree, like you got the shot.
Speaker 1: It's a shot to shoot your shot right, and instead
Speaker 1: of attaching yourself to what will result from the opportunity.
Speaker 1: And I loved that because it's just a reminder to
Speaker 1: stay in the moment that you're in and don't get
Speaker 1: ahead of yourself.
Speaker 3: I've been really feeling like that with with with like
Speaker 3: career and acting stuff, which is that I think in
Speaker 3: the beginning it was it was so outcome based. It
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, you know like this, I don't know, like, well,
Speaker 3: this industry is outcome back based. And then I started
Speaker 3: realizing that like the days on set, the days like
Speaker 3: doing the acting with the people was actually all I
Speaker 3: gave a shit about. Like I have a hard time
Speaker 3: like watching it afterwards, like I'm not really you know,
Speaker 3: if this show is a hit or not, it's like interesting,
Speaker 3: but it's not the thing, you know, and that Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just I that has really really hit me lately,
Speaker 3: and like Australia is a perfect example of that because
Speaker 3: when we did it, it wasn't on Hulu yet. It
Speaker 3: was it was going to just be in Australia and
Speaker 3: on Stan Love You Stand, Love You Stan.
Speaker 1: But they have great shows. Yeah, I watch a lot
Speaker 1: of crime shows from Yeah, great crime show. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: they have real actors. Yeah, you know, not everybody's beautiful.
Speaker 3: And I appreciate that. I totally agree. God I love
Speaker 3: those acts. They would be Yeah, but I was like,
Speaker 3: if this doesn't it was I was enjoying it so
Speaker 3: much that I was like, if this doesn't even go
Speaker 3: to America, I kind of don't care, Like I wouldn't
Speaker 3: have done it right right right, you know, America.
Speaker 1: Did you bring her the Land of the Free?
Speaker 3: The place?
Speaker 1: Did you bring your short king husband?
Speaker 3: Yes, Australia, thank you. He came with me for like
Speaker 3: half of it. So I was there for like four months.
Speaker 1: Is he an actor as well?
Speaker 3: He's a producer. He runs Seth Meyer's production company. So
Speaker 3: we're both sort of in like the same circle. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're certainly in the same circle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are in the same circle.
Speaker 3: But he came out for like half of it, the
Speaker 3: last half, and he would wake up at like four
Speaker 3: in the morning and work and then go to the beach.
Speaker 3: It was like a really good life. He would he
Speaker 3: would work like whatever America's schedule is, New York schedule
Speaker 3: and then yeah, and then he would like the second
Speaker 3: half of the day, he would just be like an
Speaker 3: Australian dude.
Speaker 1: I wonder if Australia is ready and has the capacity
Speaker 1: to absorb half of America. We're there, because how many
Speaker 1: people do I just learned that La County is only
Speaker 1: four or not La County, La propers only four million people.
Speaker 1: County is like eleven or I thought it would be
Speaker 1: way more than four million.
Speaker 3: I mean, Australia has a lot of room, right, It's
Speaker 3: just like you want to yeah, yeah, the momental.
Speaker 1: We want to put the snakes on one side of
Speaker 1: the island. And because it is kind of surprising when
Speaker 1: you go to Australia, because I've gone there touring several
Speaker 1: times in my career, and you forget that it's basically
Speaker 1: the same like distance as America. Like if you go
Speaker 1: from Perth to Sydney, it's like a five hour flight, right,
Speaker 1: And you're like, wait, what right? I thought this was
Speaker 1: a little place.
Speaker 3: But there's a lot of spairs. But in that show
Speaker 3: Sunday Nights will Forte Place, my brother and his family
Speaker 3: was out there, his beautiful wife Olivia and his kids,
Speaker 3: and we really have we talk about going back there
Speaker 3: a lot, like like living there in a way that
Speaker 3: I just haven't experienced.
Speaker 1: Before, I know, And they're you know, they're just very
Speaker 1: civilized the way that they've set up their lifestyle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's bike paths in every major city in Australia. They
Speaker 1: set up like when you're in the in the in
Speaker 1: the harbor. The Sydney Harbor is one of the most
Speaker 1: beautiful harbors because they have no shipping containers, right, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, where did they put the shipping containers somewhere else?
Speaker 1: I'm not anywhere we can see them. And I appreciate
Speaker 1: it too.
Speaker 3: I know. I walked I like sort of discovered my
Speaker 3: love of just walking like walking, yes, yes, yes, yep,
Speaker 3: it's just like you just it's really it's made for
Speaker 3: people to like enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, we're going to take some callers where we
Speaker 1: give it out advice. People are going to call in live.
Speaker 1: Let's begin this portion of this episode by you can tell.
Speaker 1: You can choose to tell me either one great piece
Speaker 1: of advice that you've been given or a really bad
Speaker 1: piece of advice that.
Speaker 3: You've been giving. Okay, it's funny. I mean, I guess
Speaker 3: I told you the bad advice from my formal teacher.
Speaker 3: I guess, Like it's not funny.
Speaker 1: I just love like do you want to hang out
Speaker 1: with your former student? There's something wrong about that and
Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure what it is.
Speaker 3: And I also wanted to call her like miss whatever.
Speaker 3: I know, just like stop like I got a hot
Speaker 3: new husband. I'm not a teacher anymore. I'm an inspiring actress.
Speaker 3: It was really very funny. Okay, this is too much
Speaker 3: about acting, but it just rings. And it's from Ted,
Speaker 3: which was playing Janet on The Good Place, was sort
Speaker 3: of like basically he was like, whatever you do next,
Speaker 3: have it be the exact opposite from this and continue
Speaker 3: to do that throughout your career. And that has really
Speaker 3: like been my north star.
Speaker 1: That's great advice and it's.
Speaker 3: Helped me with like doing things I'm scared of, doing
Speaker 3: things that maybe I wouldn't want to say yes to
Speaker 3: to really like follow your gut. I guess, yeah, So
Speaker 3: that's really helped me. But that's you know, that's advice
Speaker 3: for an actor. Yeah, or maybe we're not. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 3: not it all it can.
Speaker 1: I think in any creative endeavor, it's good to shake
Speaker 1: it up and watch people don't write.
Speaker 3: Like in life, we get so stuck in our ways
Speaker 3: that we're like, I mean, I'm you know, the older
Speaker 3: we get. It's so easy to get stuck in your
Speaker 3: in your patterns and to like do things that scare us.
Speaker 3: I think is how we like live a full life
Speaker 3: and stay young. And you know, I feel like I
Speaker 3: see that too much just people sort of.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's just also good to get the adrenaline pumping, right,
Speaker 1: Like if you're so accustomed to something or you've gotten
Speaker 1: really good at one thing, it's like, okay, that's great.
Speaker 1: But also like the fear subsides, and I feel like
Speaker 1: fear is a healthy ingredient before you're about to take
Speaker 1: something on.
Speaker 3: And I'm a big like I talk to my friends
Speaker 3: a lot about like fear that you have to be
Speaker 3: a little scared of something. Yeah, if you are a
Speaker 3: little scared, that's probably a reason to do it, you know.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, why I have an actor question, So we'll
Speaker 2: just go right on your here.
Speaker 1: Okay, while Ted is here in Spirited Dancing is always
Speaker 1: in this.
Speaker 2: Podcast, totally well, Cassidy says, Dear Chelsea. I've been an
Speaker 2: actor my whole life, and I've spent the last eleven
Speaker 2: years in LA working in commercials, TV and creating my
Speaker 2: own projects when opportunities weren't there. Over the year, I've
Speaker 2: learned how to make things happen for myself. I've now
Speaker 2: produced multiple projects. I've done stand up at the Improv
Speaker 2: in the Ice House, and even have a one woman
Speaker 2: show I co wrote and am performing about choosing not
Speaker 2: to have kids and what that means for your identity
Speaker 2: and relationships, and we're putting that up soon.
Speaker 3: But I'm hitting a wall.
Speaker 2: I came out here to be a series regular on
Speaker 2: a TV show and have a work family, but the
Speaker 2: industry has changed so much over the past few years,
Speaker 2: despite everything I've built, I feel like I keep having
Speaker 2: to start over. I've never been able to fully move
Speaker 2: on from this path, even when it's been painful. But
Speaker 2: I also don't know if I'm being resilient or if
Speaker 2: I'm just stuck. Most of the advice we get is
Speaker 2: just keep going. But what if you really are that
Speaker 2: person that just keeps going? With how much the industry
Speaker 2: has shifted, how do you evolve your path without feeling
Speaker 2: like you're abandoning your original dream?
Speaker 3: Thanks Cassidy, Hi Cassidy, Hi, Hi Cassidy.
Speaker 1: Hi, we have a bona fide actor with us today
Speaker 1: on the right episode. Hi Darcy, Hi Darcy, why don't
Speaker 1: you start? Okay if you don't mind, I don't guess
Speaker 1: you are more of an act than anyone else.
Speaker 3: In this room. You're not not on the comedian, you know,
Speaker 3: like a little bit right? Not really. I really relate
Speaker 3: to this, I really like understand and I feel you
Speaker 3: so hard on this. I I know this struggle so well.
Speaker 5: You're like, I also don't want to know what to do.
Speaker 3: Well truly, I mean, for sure, the industry is changing
Speaker 3: so much, and there is this feeling of like do
Speaker 3: I need to sort of like why diden my view,
Speaker 3: Like do I need to learn how to do other things?
Speaker 3: Or you know you kind of we're in flux right
Speaker 3: now so so much I really feel that, but also
Speaker 3: just the feeling of like moving to a city and
Speaker 3: with this goal and it's not quite happening, but it's
Speaker 3: not not happening, but it's not exactly happening, like I think,
Speaker 3: you know, I lived in New York for eleven years,
Speaker 3: made five dollars as an actor, but also like was
Speaker 3: very artistically fulfilled because I was doing what you're doing,
Speaker 3: which is like putting shows up and and you know,
Speaker 3: writing and doing improv and doing sketch and stuff like
Speaker 3: that and auditioning for things. And then moved to La
Speaker 3: and it was a similar thing where I was like
Speaker 3: I had this feeling where it's like this thing that
Speaker 3: I wanted seems like it's not going to happen, and
Speaker 3: it's like do I face that reality? Am I happy?
Speaker 3: What's bringing me joy? And I sort of like realized
Speaker 3: that I was. I had to like shift my idea
Speaker 3: of what I thought my life was going to be
Speaker 3: a little bit, but realize that I was happy doing
Speaker 3: the things that you're doing. I was happy doing the
Speaker 3: things that you're doing, but do you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: like putting up your shows, it's such a struggle.
Speaker 1: It's just it's such an unpredictable business, and especially the
Speaker 1: time that we're living in, I think it's just so
Speaker 1: important to have like a couple of ducks in a
Speaker 1: row that are not just acting right and not just performing.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you do do you I've got
Speaker 1: about three jobs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're for sure the jobs. And also but
Speaker 3: like I mean, so many actors, like you're already in
Speaker 3: a dog you're already so far ahead of it, because
Speaker 3: so many actors come to LA or New York with
Speaker 3: only the goal of like auditioning to get the job.
Speaker 3: And it sounds like you are. You're doing your own
Speaker 3: thing too, write, you're writing your own shows. You're like that,
Speaker 3: That's that's the advice is like you you have to.
Speaker 1: Self produce, self create all of that stuff. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you're on top of it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm really excited about the show. And I've
Speaker 5: done other shows before, like I said, and have produced
Speaker 5: my own thing, and this one truly does feel like
Speaker 5: it's kind of my purpose on Earth amazing.
Speaker 1: It is a crazy thing to.
Speaker 5: Say, yeah, because just it's what I've gone through with
Speaker 5: unpacking that I don't want to have kids, but what
Speaker 5: that means as an identity and what does that mean
Speaker 5: for my future? Because I discovered that in my twenties,
Speaker 5: So I was like.
Speaker 3: Whoa a lot time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and most people with their older are dealing with
Speaker 5: their kids or their grandkids, and I was like, so
Speaker 5: what am I going to be doing? So it is
Speaker 5: fun in a way. And the energy shift that I
Speaker 5: think you both were talking about, I'm getting so much
Speaker 5: better at, especially over the last year, so that and
Speaker 5: I can definitely see things coming toward me because of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm happy about that.
Speaker 5: And I know it's a sort of nuanced question that
Speaker 5: nobody really knows what to say besides like just keep going.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I was wondering if there was like any
Speaker 5: in between.
Speaker 1: Because I know you.
Speaker 5: I'm sure you two in evening, including Catherine, know what
Speaker 5: I mean. When you're like, okay, cool, like let's discover
Speaker 5: this part of this medium, and then you kind of
Speaker 5: feel like you're starting over and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 5: we did that.
Speaker 1: That was fun.
Speaker 5: I did it well, actually, but it doesn't feel like
Speaker 5: something I want to do forever. And that's also what
Speaker 5: I kind of came here to do. Like I went
Speaker 5: to school for music, theater, I've done film and TV
Speaker 5: out here. I like it all. But you know, when
Speaker 5: you focus on too many things, your energy gets diffused.
Speaker 5: But then you also don't want to focus only on
Speaker 5: one thing exactly betting on that. So there's all this
Speaker 5: sort of I think in the opposite end of the
Speaker 5: spectrum advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's really discerning, like where you want
Speaker 1: to put your energy and focus and writing that down,
Speaker 1: you know, like what gives you the most feedback, payback,
Speaker 1: enjoyment out of all of the things that you're doing,
Speaker 1: and then narrow it down to like the three things
Speaker 1: that A are providing you with income and the stability
Speaker 1: to live and be safe, you know, and feed yourself obviously,
Speaker 1: and then get to the second tier of things like
Speaker 1: which ones do you enjoy, which ones give you life,
Speaker 1: which ones which which aspects of this industry because the
Speaker 1: industry is always going to be shifting. Like I did
Speaker 1: Howie Mandel's podcast a couple of weeks ago, and he
Speaker 1: was saying, if you're doing comedy the same way you
Speaker 1: were doing it fifteen years ago. You're missing the whole boat,
Speaker 1: like everything has changed. And I was like, I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure I'm doing comedy the same way I was fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago. He's like, no, Chelsea, you have a whole
Speaker 1: social media platform that you didn't have fifteen ye And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, you're right, and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're on what are you on? I was like all
Speaker 1: of them? Probably, you know, and you're doing a podcast
Speaker 1: like you're adapting. So like that's something that I stood
Speaker 1: out to me that he said is like you do
Speaker 1: see the difference between people who adapt versus people who
Speaker 1: resist totally, Like, yeah, and he's coming. It scares the
Speaker 1: shit out of everyone, but you can't. You have to
Speaker 1: deal with it, Like, we can't just be like I'm
Speaker 1: not going to use it. That's not helpful either. And
Speaker 1: live performance is also something that you know is not
Speaker 1: going to be easily replaced. Right, people don't want to
Speaker 1: go see a hologram performing, right, I'm sure some people do,
Speaker 1: but most people don't.
Speaker 3: I heard something interesting recently which was we were very
Speaker 3: excited in the like seventies and eighties about a computer
Speaker 3: being able to win at chess until it actually beat
Speaker 3: a person, and then we didn't care anymore and we
Speaker 3: just watched people play chess. I mean, if you're into
Speaker 3: that sort of thing, right, right, right, So yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3: I okay. One thing that like stuck out to me
Speaker 3: is you said like you feel like this show is
Speaker 3: your purpose on Earth. I think, like follow that feeling, right,
Speaker 3: like like that is so attractive, and I think just
Speaker 3: you know, it's it might not be tomorrow that the
Speaker 3: like the thing happens from the show or whatever, but
Speaker 3: you having that feeling of not the desperation of like
Speaker 3: this is going to bring me something, but just more
Speaker 3: like I love what I'm doing right now. That is
Speaker 3: so attractive, totally right, and so then it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: I think good things will come from that. So I
Speaker 3: think in like loving what you're doing and following your passion.
Speaker 3: I know this maybe sounds a little like duh, but
Speaker 3: it's like that is you're doing it right and then
Speaker 3: and then you know, yeah, you have to have this
Speaker 3: job and that job that pays the bills, but that
Speaker 3: can start changing tomorrow. I don't know, it's hard.
Speaker 1: I think absolutely, I think that's true. I think everything
Speaker 1: you're saying it's right. It's very hard to live an
Speaker 1: artist's life. It's very unpredictable. So like that's what you
Speaker 1: signed up for and this is just part of that.
Speaker 1: And so when you think about it that way, like
Speaker 1: it just kind of comes with the territory. You get
Speaker 1: to do what you love to do with also the
Speaker 1: side of instability, right, so you just kind of have
Speaker 1: to warm up to that idea and do everything that
Speaker 1: you can to protect all of the things that are
Speaker 1: going to keep you safe housed, clothes and fed.
Speaker 3: I know you know this also, but like you get
Speaker 3: the show tomorrow, you get the TV show, and it
Speaker 3: lasts for one season and then you're like right back
Speaker 3: and this, yeah, you're right back to the same feeling
Speaker 3: that you had before. This business is so up and
Speaker 3: down and I don't I mean, even even someone that's
Speaker 3: been doing it as long as you, like you, I'm
Speaker 3: sure you feel that, you know, like, yeah, like the
Speaker 3: you're on top, you're on bottom, you're on it's just
Speaker 3: it's it's not it's not for the faint of heart.
Speaker 3: So whatever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I decided a while ago to stop.
Speaker 1: Putting energy into quitting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I tried to quit so many times, and
Speaker 5: I just kept coming back to it.
Speaker 1: That's something good and it's a part of the energy shift.
Speaker 6: I think too. Though, there's like, you know, you want
Speaker 6: to have goals, and you're supposed to have goals, and
Speaker 6: of course I have because you want to know where
Speaker 6: you're going. But then a lot of the things that
Speaker 6: have been a part of I would have never been
Speaker 6: able to put down, and they've been some of my
Speaker 6: happiest days.
Speaker 5: So there's that weird in.
Speaker 3: Between, yeah, being open, like want to have a vague goal,
Speaker 3: but you're supposed to have a specific goal.
Speaker 1: I'm not a real goal oriented person. I'm just more
Speaker 1: of a like I kind of fly by the seat
Speaker 1: of my pants a little bit, so I can understand
Speaker 1: the goal aspect and why people do that. But I
Speaker 1: also think just like, welcome the challenges, you know, like
Speaker 1: you're talking about shifting your energy and part of that.
Speaker 1: There's a great podcast that I just listened to. Ezra
Speaker 1: Client had pimas chowdron on She's not a monk? What
Speaker 1: is it called when you're a female monk?
Speaker 3: A monk?
Speaker 1: Guess a monket It's like a smurfet but Anyway, it
Speaker 1: was a lot about not resisting the reality of a situation, right,
Speaker 1: and when we are challenged, like in whatever industry you're in,
Speaker 1: you're talking about this specific entertainment industry, it's good to
Speaker 1: just kind of look at it and like move towards
Speaker 1: the challenge rather than move away from it, and and
Speaker 1: like and then that that also becomes like an energy
Speaker 1: vibe that you're giving out where you are attracting different
Speaker 1: things and things are coming your way because you're not
Speaker 1: resisting the fact that the situation is changing or becoming
Speaker 1: challenging in a different way. You just kind of embrace it,
Speaker 1: you know, like, and you could apply that to anything
Speaker 1: in life, Like you just kind of embrace the difficulty
Speaker 1: of the moment and move towards it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's interesting. I'll be thinking about that.
Speaker 3: Well, Cassidy.
Speaker 2: Will you send us a link to your show and
Speaker 2: if it's up by the time this goes out, we'll
Speaker 2: put a link in the bio.
Speaker 1: Love that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, for sure, Thank you all and everybody behind
Speaker 5: the scenes.
Speaker 1: Thanks Cassidy, thanks for calling in. Bye bye. Do you
Speaker 1: have time for one more?
Speaker 2: Okay, great, Okay, Well this is a pretty important one.
Speaker 2: It's a pretty big one. So we have Ashley calling in.
Speaker 3: She's twenty six.
Speaker 2: She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six year old
Speaker 2: straight woman freshly graduated from medical school.
Speaker 3: Later this summer.
Speaker 2: I'm about to move several states away from my family
Speaker 2: to start my career. I'm currently engaged to the guy
Speaker 2: I've been with since I was seventeen, and we've overall
Speaker 2: been really happy. He supported me throughout school, and we're
Speaker 2: supposed to get married next year. However, there's this guy
Speaker 2: from my medical school class who've had a crush on
Speaker 2: since the first day of school. In the last few months,
Speaker 2: I finally ended up telling him how I felt, and
Speaker 2: it turns out he felt the same way all along.
Speaker 2: When I'm around him, it's electric. I'm nervous, I'm shaky,
Speaker 2: my heart races. I've never wanted somebody like I want him.
Speaker 2: When graduation came, we essentially said our goodbyes, and he
Speaker 2: made sure I knew that while he's not rooting against
Speaker 2: my future happiness with my boyfriend, if anything happens where
Speaker 2: I end up single, give him a call, whether he's
Speaker 2: in a relationship or not.
Speaker 1: It's a cow, it's a couple.
Speaker 2: Weeks since graduation, and I hate the thought of never
Speaker 2: seeing him again. I can't stop thinking about him, and
Speaker 2: I'm sadly thinking about ending my marriage before it starts.
Speaker 2: I love my fiancee and he's a really good guy,
Speaker 2: and he loves me so much, and we've been happy,
Speaker 2: but there are some feelings in me now that weren't
Speaker 2: there before. If he's still everything I want in a husband.
Speaker 2: I'm also feeling like, if I'm having these thoughts, I
Speaker 2: have to break it off. But this is like the
Speaker 2: scariest decision ever, and I don't know if I'll regret it.
Speaker 2: I just have a couple weeks to figure it all
Speaker 2: out and tell my fiance if I decide to break
Speaker 2: it off. What do you think I should do? Do
Speaker 2: I give up what I know is good for something
Speaker 2: that could or could not be great? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley,
Speaker 2: you got stuff going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is your wedding date set?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Next year?
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. I feel like you have an opportunity to
Speaker 1: like look into this situation that you have going with
Speaker 1: this guy. Like, I don't think you have to tell
Speaker 1: your fiance everything right now. I think you can just
Speaker 1: simply say I need a couple of weeks to myself
Speaker 1: to really think about this decision that we're making. I
Speaker 1: love you, I care about you, like, but I really
Speaker 1: just need some time. I'm having all sorts of feelings
Speaker 1: and I just want to take a break. I really
Speaker 1: don't think you need to difulge what it is that
Speaker 1: you're doing and at this juncture.
Speaker 3: And what she's doing is fucking that guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be my advice. I would start dating
Speaker 1: this guy, have sex with him, and see if what
Speaker 1: you're because listen, we've all had crushes and one of
Speaker 1: the most intoxicating things about them is that you don't
Speaker 1: know what would happen. And that's why we're so dazzled
Speaker 1: by this, Like, you know, the idea of someone new
Speaker 1: and the idea, and when you put pen to paper,
Speaker 1: you might just go and find out, oh, you have
Speaker 1: like no sexual chemistry or it doesn't feel good, and
Speaker 1: then you'll be even more able to double down on
Speaker 1: the relationship that you are in. But if you don't
Speaker 1: explore this, you're gonna regret it for the rest of you.
Speaker 3: You might regret it for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 3: And I think like this is a tricky one because
Speaker 3: I think this might be a little bit about hot
Speaker 3: guy and a little bit about like it sounds like
Speaker 3: high school boyfriend is lovely and wonderful and my parents
Speaker 3: met in high school. But like, other than that, the
Speaker 3: idea of meeting your soul mate at seventeen is tricky,
Speaker 3: like you will grow and change so much. And I'm
Speaker 3: not saying like he sounds wonderful, and I think he is.
Speaker 3: Otherwise you probably would have gotten rid of him already.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it would be easier if he wasn't I.
Speaker 3: Know, I know, Listen, I actually really understand this situation,
Speaker 3: like like on a deep, deep personal level from my
Speaker 3: high school boyfriend, just like a lovely guy, just like
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with him, but just not quite quite. And
Speaker 3: I do think if I had married him, I think
Speaker 3: I would be in a situation where I was like
Speaker 3: thinking about the medical school guy.
Speaker 1: Is there any scenario where you can say to your fiance,
Speaker 1: I need like a month to myself.
Speaker 4: So I've been thinking about like how to approach it,
Speaker 4: because we're supposed to move away together at the end
Speaker 4: next month, so like five six weeks from now, and
Speaker 4: I don't want to do that. I think I have
Speaker 4: to move regardless, but I think I need to like
Speaker 4: sit down and talk to and tell him that I
Speaker 4: don't want him to move with me at least just yet.
Speaker 3: Ashley, I think you might want to take a break
Speaker 3: from this guy from boyfriend. Yeah, I think it might
Speaker 3: be more than a month. I think you might need
Speaker 3: to like really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're already thinking about that moving in with
Speaker 1: him and then postponing that, I think that it would
Speaker 1: be in your best interest. Listen, when women have feelings,
Speaker 1: you need to pay attention to them because we've come
Speaker 1: from generations of women who have been taught to ignore
Speaker 1: what they feel. So in pursuing what you want, even
Speaker 1: if it doesn't lead to anything exactly, you're listening to yourself.
Speaker 1: And then you're like breaking the cycle of women that
Speaker 1: came before you and for the women that come after you.
Speaker 1: Like you, really I think about those kinds of things
Speaker 1: When I have a big decision, I just think about
Speaker 1: how does this decision affect all women? Yeah, And like,
Speaker 1: I know that sounds crazy, but it's really it's worthwhile
Speaker 1: to think about how you're in you know, how you're
Speaker 1: standing up for yourself. You would give this advice like
Speaker 1: to a friend, right, you would say, go explore this
Speaker 1: and see what's there, right, And even if it's nothing,
Speaker 1: you were true to yourself and you examined it and
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, and maybe you're going to fall out
Speaker 1: in love with this guy and maybe this is the
Speaker 1: guy and maybe he's not. But either way, you should
Speaker 1: follow your heart and follow your emotions because you're young
Speaker 1: enough to do it. Right.
Speaker 2: My big question in this scenario is this guy who
Speaker 2: feels very exciting. Sometimes those people are it's exciting because
Speaker 2: they're chaotic, right, or they're messy, or.
Speaker 3: You're unavailable, and that's one of the room sins yea.
Speaker 2: And there's like a love bombing situation. So is that
Speaker 2: what's going on at all? Or you don't feel that
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think he's like just in it for
Speaker 4: the chaos of it. I mean, like over the last
Speaker 4: few weeks months, he was very much on the side
Speaker 4: of like you need to like try not to cross.
Speaker 1: Any lines right right right, which is respectful, nice, and
Speaker 1: if you were toxic, he would have been like yeaeah.
Speaker 1: And he was.
Speaker 4: Really keeping me like bron and that. And then when
Speaker 4: it was time for like to say goobye and hand
Speaker 4: to lead. He was like, you have to figure out
Speaker 4: what you want to do, like for you and like
Speaker 4: highly be out of this, like if you end up
Speaker 4: sayingle I'll be there. But he was just like, you can't.
Speaker 4: You can't just swap us out, Like you gotta figure
Speaker 4: out what you really want.
Speaker 3: When you think about your fiance, do you feel like
Speaker 3: you're like in love with him for life or do
Speaker 3: you feel like this is you feel safe with him?
Speaker 3: Or what? What do you think? Is it just sort
Speaker 3: of like this, you know, this is like the natural
Speaker 3: progression of a relationship is like you date and then
Speaker 3: you move in together, and then you get married.
Speaker 4: I felt very in love with him. I just feel
Speaker 4: like like a part of that is ron yeah, but
Speaker 4: I mean no, I was very happy and like very
Speaker 4: excited to marry him.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like now.
Speaker 4: I've been thinking things differently, and with all these changes,
Speaker 4: I feel different.
Speaker 2: I also think if you take the space and you decide,
Speaker 2: like I actually do like this person.
Speaker 3: I'm with now is the person I want to be
Speaker 3: with long term.
Speaker 2: I also don't think that you guys need to talk
Speaker 2: about anything that happened in the interim.
Speaker 1: I think that's like, I just think you need yourself, yeah,
Speaker 1: like more than anything else. I agree how you want
Speaker 1: to handle like the intricacies of it. You need to
Speaker 1: listen to yourself as a woman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you kind of know already.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 4: I just I don't know how to do it, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I think you just have to sit down with him
Speaker 1: and be as gracious and as possible, knowing this person's
Speaker 1: in love with you, sit down with him and be
Speaker 1: like listen. And I would be lying if I didn't
Speaker 1: say that I had some misgivings and I'm getting really
Speaker 1: nervous about being married and I really need to like
Speaker 1: slow it down. Yeah, I need some time, I think
Speaker 1: for myself. I owe it to myself, and I want
Speaker 1: to honor these feelings that I'm having that this I
Speaker 1: don't think this has anything to do with you. This
Speaker 1: is me, and I'm starting to feel panicked about the wedding.
Speaker 1: I'm just I just want some time to really like
Speaker 1: clarify or gain some clarity about how I'm feeling. And
Speaker 1: any real guy, like, of course he's gonna not love that,
Speaker 1: but if he really loves you, he's gonna respect that.
Speaker 1: And you just have to be very respectful of him
Speaker 1: when you're telling him. I mean, obviously you're not going
Speaker 1: to tell him that I'm interested in fucking this other
Speaker 1: guy from college, but you can just be like, listen,
Speaker 1: I have some things, I have some unanswered questions. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that means. Maybe you're going to talk
Speaker 1: to a therapist for a month. Maybe you're gonna just
Speaker 1: like explore life what it's like without him in it
Speaker 1: for a month, but putting it in a way that
Speaker 1: there's nothing he can do, you know, and not leaving
Speaker 1: him hanging, being like, listen, just give me some time
Speaker 1: and I will come back to you with.
Speaker 3: A more more realized Yeah.
Speaker 1: But right now, just like, I don't like the way
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, and I would never want to enter into
Speaker 1: a partnership or a living situation feeling this way. Right
Speaker 1: so I have to clear my thoughts and I need
Speaker 1: to do that without you.
Speaker 3: And you do you need it for you? It's not selfish,
Speaker 3: like depending on his response to this, also can kind
Speaker 3: of inform you about how you guys are as a couple. Yes,
Speaker 3: and it's it's not like selfish. You have to do
Speaker 3: it for you and he should also understand that you
Speaker 3: will never sort of forgive yourself or or stop thinking
Speaker 3: about this. And I don't even mean the guy. I
Speaker 3: mean you being alone for a little while here. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so that's huge. Like if he if he doesn't understand
Speaker 3: that, that says a lot about y know, absolutely him and
Speaker 3: you guys as a couple. All right, Ashley, will you
Speaker 3: check in with us, give us the scoop? Yeah, I'll
Speaker 3: email you all right, good luck.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thanks for calling, Ashley. Good luck
Speaker 1: with everything.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Okay you too, wait until you're thirty to
Speaker 3: get married.
Speaker 1: We like your shoulders.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, shack on.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that was awesome, Darcy. That was our hour
Speaker 1: with Darcycard and you gave great advice.
Speaker 3: Compassionate you guys.
Speaker 1: You can watch her on Five Star Weekend among all
Speaker 1: the other places you can see or you can see
Speaker 1: her in a league of their own. Nobody wants this
Speaker 1: Loote Sunday Nights with Will Forte and The Good Place
Speaker 1: and Handmaidsdale. But her newest project is Five Star Weekend
Speaker 1: and all episodes are out today on Hulu. Baby, Hey, yay,
Speaker 1: we did it.
Speaker 3: Woo wootoot.
Speaker 2: If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
Speaker 2: podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
Speaker 2: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
Speaker 2: Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find
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