Speaker 1: My colleagues. We'll stop commenting on everything I need at
Speaker 1: people and meeting? Why does my coworker keep taking credit
Speaker 1: for all my ideas? Have any wisdom for me? Hi?
Speaker 1: I'm Alison Green. Welcome to the Aska Manager podcast, where
Speaker 1: I answer questions from listeners about life at work, everything
Speaker 1: from what to say if you're allergic to your coworkers
Speaker 1: perfume to what to do if you drink too much
Speaker 1: at the company party. Let's get started. Hi, and welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. Our first question today is from someone
Speaker 1: who is worried that her boss is burning out. Hi, there,
Speaker 1: I need some advice. Over the last nine months or so,
Speaker 1: I have been slowly burning out at my job. But
Speaker 1: that's not the problem. I am taking steps to combat
Speaker 1: my own burnout. The problem is that over this time
Speaker 1: I've been watching my company add more and more work
Speaker 1: to my boss. It's like the higher ups to have
Speaker 1: asked them, so what else can we burn thoughs out?
Speaker 1: Than they do what they think of find her to
Speaker 1: tie consuming projects, only to pull her off of them
Speaker 1: midway through, essentially wasting her time. We've had three other
Speaker 1: supervisors quit. Instead of factilling their positions, the powers that
Speaker 1: be just assigned the abandoned teams to my supervisor, increasing
Speaker 1: her workload again. I am part of her original team
Speaker 1: of seven and she's up to now direct reports, and
Speaker 1: each of us on that original team wants to have
Speaker 1: her back as much as possible. She's a stellar boss
Speaker 1: and goes to bat for us time and time again
Speaker 1: when we need help getting our work done or meet
Speaker 1: resistance from the other departments. So my question is what
Speaker 1: can I and the rest of our team do to
Speaker 1: support her. I have taken on all the little projects, assignments,
Speaker 1: and tasks she's turped out to me to lighten her load.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else? None of us want to lose her,
Speaker 1: and many of us would probably jump ship with her
Speaker 1: if it ever came to that. I would really appreciate
Speaker 1: your input here. Well, first, you're so kind to be
Speaker 1: thinking about this, because being the US can be a
Speaker 1: really thankless job, and not everyone would look at the
Speaker 1: situation and think to have the reaction that you're having.
Speaker 1: So your boss is really lucky to have you. I
Speaker 1: think the thing to know here is that there are
Speaker 1: some things that you can do that will make your
Speaker 1: boss's life more pleasant right now, probably and we'll talk
Speaker 1: about what those are, but you aren't going to be
Speaker 1: able to solve the big fundamental problem, which is her
Speaker 1: workload and the way she's being managed from above. For
Speaker 1: the record, having twenty five direct reports is insane. The
Speaker 1: number of direct reports that one person can handle effectively
Speaker 1: is somewhere around six or seven. In some cases, maybe
Speaker 1: we're the people being managed or doing very road work
Speaker 1: or very independent work. It could be more, but twenty
Speaker 1: five is well beyond anything that is reasonable. So the
Speaker 1: fact that she is still coming across to you as
Speaker 1: a stellar boss while managing that many people and stretch
Speaker 1: that then is really impressive. And then you throw in
Speaker 1: all the rest of her workload because it sounds like
Speaker 1: she is doing her own projects on top of all
Speaker 1: of that management, and it's pretty exhausting to contemplate. So
Speaker 1: back to you and how you can help. I think
Speaker 1: a really important thing to realize here is that the
Speaker 1: best thing for her to do might be to get out,
Speaker 1: to leave the situation, and to find a better, more
Speaker 1: manageable job for herself. So I don't want you to
Speaker 1: think of your role as needing to figure out how
Speaker 1: to keep her or as the best case outcome that
Speaker 1: you somehow make this just bearable enough that she decides
Speaker 1: to stay, because it might be best for her if
Speaker 1: she does leave. So instead, I would focus on making
Speaker 1: sure that she knows that you appreciate her and that
Speaker 1: you want to pitch in and help make her life easier.
Speaker 1: Right now, however you can so, yeah, if you have
Speaker 1: room on your own plate, volunteer to take some work
Speaker 1: off of hers and be easy to work with. You know,
Speaker 1: have your own house in order, don't let or slip
Speaker 1: through the cracks, keep her proactively apprised about where things
Speaker 1: stand and when you need things from her streamline. It
Speaker 1: make it as fast and as easy as possible for
Speaker 1: her to give you input or approve something or otherwise
Speaker 1: get you what you need, because being easy to manage
Speaker 1: will make her life easier. And then this is really important.
Speaker 1: Be explicit with her about appreciating her. You said you
Speaker 1: think she's a sellar boss and that she's gone to
Speaker 1: bat for you over and over, that she helps you
Speaker 1: get what you need when there's problems with other departments,
Speaker 1: And I wonder does she know that you think that?
Speaker 1: From what I have seen, oftentimes, when people like and
Speaker 1: appreciate their managers, it doesn't always occur to them to
Speaker 1: tell the manager that they think it's unneeded or that
Speaker 1: it won't be a big deal to the manager to
Speaker 1: hear it. But it is always a great thing to hear,
Speaker 1: and I am onecent sure that your manager would be
Speaker 1: really happy and really grateful to hear you say that.
Speaker 1: Based on what you described about her workload, I bet
Speaker 1: she thinks she's barely holding things together, so hearing the
Speaker 1: opposite from you would be really nice. Or maybe she
Speaker 1: is aware of how much she's doing to hold things
Speaker 1: together and doesn't know if anyone other than her sees it.
Speaker 1: So let her know that you do. Basically tell her
Speaker 1: what you said in your call, that you see how
Speaker 1: much she does, you love having her for a boss,
Speaker 1: and you appreciate her. The times I can think of that,
Speaker 1: employees have told me that it's meant an incredible amount
Speaker 1: to me. So definitely tell her, but don't get too
Speaker 1: attached to hoping that she'll stay. Of course, you don't
Speaker 1: want to lose a good boss, especially in a situation
Speaker 1: that sounds pretty difficult to navigate. But if we're talking
Speaker 1: about what is good for her, it sounds like it
Speaker 1: might be a good thing. For her if she does
Speaker 1: decide to leave. And that's okay, Okay, here's the next question. Hi, Alison,
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you. I've worked for
Speaker 1: nonprofit for over four years and during that time it
Speaker 1: did artwork for a lot of their events, never when
Speaker 1: I was working on the clock of my day job,
Speaker 1: but as a freelance artist it was always paid. It
Speaker 1: was a pre agreed amount, but we never wrote anything
Speaker 1: down as to who owned the images or the specific
Speaker 1: use for them. So, after an extremely bad year, I
Speaker 1: was unfortunately let go by a bad manager. Um And
Speaker 1: like I re kind, it doesn't still hurt and make
Speaker 1: me angry. I really love that job and I put
Speaker 1: a lot of heart and soul into it. So now
Speaker 1: it's been almost a year and I discovered that the
Speaker 1: Halloween illustrations I created for the organization are being used again.
Speaker 1: I don't want to demand if they stopped using my
Speaker 1: artwork because they paid they commissioned it. But when I
Speaker 1: was an employee, it was openly acknowledged that I was
Speaker 1: the artist and credited for it, and a lot of
Speaker 1: people knew um just by talking around the organization. So
Speaker 1: my question is, do you think it would be unreasonable
Speaker 1: to ask for credit for any future use of my work,
Speaker 1: or would it just seem like a retaliation from a
Speaker 1: bitter ex employee. So the answer here is that unless
Speaker 1: you had a written agreement that they would give you
Speaker 1: credit whenever they use the images, they probably do have
Speaker 1: the right to use them without crediting you. It is
Speaker 1: possible to have a written agreement that says they have
Speaker 1: to credit you whenever those images appear, But if you
Speaker 1: did not arrange that, what they're doing is likely fine.
Speaker 1: I know that you said you were doing this as
Speaker 1: a sort of freelance thing for pay, on top of
Speaker 1: your regular work for them. It's very likely that this
Speaker 1: was what's called work for hire, which means that they
Speaker 1: hired you specifically to create images for them that they
Speaker 1: would then own so they can use those. They can
Speaker 1: probably use them without crediting you. You probably can't demand
Speaker 1: that they stop, and I know you weren't proposing that
Speaker 1: you do that, but just to give you some background
Speaker 1: in that, it is also true that sometimes organizations will
Speaker 1: give bylines to current employees but not to former ones.
Speaker 1: You see this more with writing. If you're working for
Speaker 1: an organization and you write some thing, they might give
Speaker 1: you the byline while you're there, but once you leave,
Speaker 1: they might just credit the work to the organization more generally,
Speaker 1: so they're not necessarily doing this despite you, or to
Speaker 1: try to erase your contribution. It might just be standard
Speaker 1: practice for them to not put people's names on things
Speaker 1: if they're no longer working there. But that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you can't still try to make the request. You
Speaker 1: can definitely ask, and you know, the worst they can
Speaker 1: do is they know, I don't think you'll sound like
Speaker 1: a bitter X employee as long as you frame the
Speaker 1: request in the right way. You don't want to contact
Speaker 1: them and say, hey, those are my images, so you
Speaker 1: need to give me credit, because that will just invite
Speaker 1: them to point out that actually those are their images
Speaker 1: now because they bought them from you and or you
Speaker 1: did it as work for higher and they don't need
Speaker 1: to credit you. But you could say something like, I
Speaker 1: saw that you're using the illustrations that I created, and
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that they're still in use. I had
Speaker 1: a lot of fun making them. Would it be possible
Speaker 1: for you to still credit the images to me the
Speaker 1: way that you used to. I'm proud of the work
Speaker 1: and it would mean a lot to me to be
Speaker 1: credited for them. With that approach, you're not demanding anything.
Speaker 1: You don't sound better, You're explaining what your interest is,
Speaker 1: and who knows. Maybe they'll say yes, but it's possible
Speaker 1: they'll say now, and if they do, it's probably not personal,
Speaker 1: So just respond graciously if that does happen. One other
Speaker 1: thing I will say is, before you do this, think
Speaker 1: about what is driving it. If it's something like you're
Speaker 1: working to build a portfolio of illustration work and it
Speaker 1: would be professionally helpful to have your name on that work,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, although keep in mind that you can
Speaker 1: still put that work in your portfolio even though your
Speaker 1: name doesn't appear on it. It's pretty normal for designers
Speaker 1: to have work in their portfolio that doesn't carry their
Speaker 1: name once is published, and you can still claim it
Speaker 1: as yours when you're trying to get future jobs. But
Speaker 1: if your motivation is more emotional than that, if you're
Speaker 1: hurt by being fired and it stings to see them
Speaker 1: using your work even though they let you go, and
Speaker 1: this feels like a way to somehow ease some of that,
Speaker 1: you know, to vindicate yourself. Like look if I was
Speaker 1: bad enough to be fired. Why are you still using
Speaker 1: my work? If that is more in line with your thinking,
Speaker 1: I would strongly consider not pursuing this because while it
Speaker 1: is very emotional to you, to them, it's really just
Speaker 1: business and whether or not they do credit those images
Speaker 1: to you, it's not going to change your feelings about
Speaker 1: what happened, and I worry about you pursuing it in
Speaker 1: an attempt to soothe that hurt. So just give that
Speaker 1: some thought before you decide whether or not to get
Speaker 1: in touch with them. Let's take a quick break here
Speaker 1: and come back with more questions. Hi, Alison, I was
Speaker 1: hoping to get your input on an issue that I
Speaker 1: encountered at work recently. So. I am a female manager
Speaker 1: in her late twenties who throughout with ofly new to managing,
Speaker 1: and one of my reports, who is male and around
Speaker 1: my age, has since I've been since I was promoted
Speaker 1: to this position, been having performance issues. So as we
Speaker 1: went through this, I pointed out instances where I saw
Speaker 1: the issues. I had a bigger conversation with him a
Speaker 1: few months ago where I told him what the expectations were.
Speaker 1: I told him how he was falling short of those
Speaker 1: and I told him that if you continued to fall
Speaker 1: short of them, we would have to put him on
Speaker 1: a performance improvement plan. So we continued to see those issues,
Speaker 1: and I followed through and put him on a thirty
Speaker 1: day PISS and during that time continued having our weekly
Speaker 1: one on one and throughout all of us my losses
Speaker 1: in the loop and supported me. So as the end
Speaker 1: of the PIP approach, we're having our final one on one,
Speaker 1: and I told my report that we hadn't seen sufficient
Speaker 1: improvement yet and that it was very likely, based on
Speaker 1: what we've seen so far, that we would have to
Speaker 1: let him go at the end of the plan. So
Speaker 1: he was of course understandably upset. But after that conversation,
Speaker 1: I thought it went about as well as these things can.
Speaker 1: What I didn't know was that after we had that conversation,
Speaker 1: he turned around and called my boss and he told
Speaker 1: my boss that I had a personal vendetta against him
Speaker 1: and that this plan was not long enough to show improvement,
Speaker 1: to allow him to show improvement, So my boss told
Speaker 1: this guy that needed to talk with me about it.
Speaker 1: But what he's now telling me is that we need
Speaker 1: to extend the PIP because this employee is in California,
Speaker 1: where the employee protections are relatively strong, and my boss
Speaker 1: is afraid that this guy will file a lawsuit, not
Speaker 1: even necessarily that held successful, but just that we don't
Speaker 1: want to deal with the time or expense of this lawsuit.
Speaker 1: So my questions are, first of all, is there something
Speaker 1: that I should have done differently over the course of
Speaker 1: this particularly should I have tried to give this employee
Speaker 1: a headset that I didn't think things were working out. Secondly,
Speaker 1: what should my boss ideally have done in this scenario?
Speaker 1: And thirdly, how do I handle this situation going forward?
Speaker 1: Because even if this employee fixes his issues, at this point,
Speaker 1: I am concerned about his judgment and also just annoyed
Speaker 1: that he would go over my head. So I'm not
Speaker 1: quite sure what to do going forward. So i'd really
Speaker 1: appreciate your input. Thank you very much. I am frustrated
Speaker 1: with your boss here because you did everything right in
Speaker 1: this situation. From what you've said, you had multiple conversations
Speaker 1: with your employee about the problems in his work. You
Speaker 1: clearly laid out the expectations for him and where he
Speaker 1: was falling short. You gave him a formal improvement plan
Speaker 1: with benchmarks he would need to meet to show improvement,
Speaker 1: and a specific period of time to do it in,
Speaker 1: and you kept your boss in the loop the whole time.
Speaker 1: This is exactly the way to handle performance problems. You
Speaker 1: said you're a new manager, so first kudos to you
Speaker 1: forgetting this so right, because performance problems can be really
Speaker 1: hard to handle, even for more experienced managers, but especially
Speaker 1: for new managers. And it sounds like you nailed it,
Speaker 1: and he did something that's really important. You kept your
Speaker 1: boss informed while it was happening, and you made sure
Speaker 1: that he supported what you were doing. I don't know
Speaker 1: if your boss has acknowledged to you that he messed
Speaker 1: up here, but if not, he should. It's one thing
Speaker 1: for him to realize, oh, we really should give this
Speaker 1: longer than thirty days. And I will say, I don't
Speaker 1: even know if that is right in this case. There
Speaker 1: are some performance issues that take longer than thirty days
Speaker 1: to be able to know if the person should remain
Speaker 1: in the job or not. But for the vast majority
Speaker 1: of situations, thirty days is a very reasonable amount of time.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that someone will vastly improve their skills
Speaker 1: in that time, but it is enough time to tell
Speaker 1: what kind of trajectory the person is on. Are they
Speaker 1: clearly on the path to getting better or are they not?
Speaker 1: For most days, thirty days really is enough time to
Speaker 1: figure that out, and most performance plans really don't need
Speaker 1: to be longer, although a lot of organizations right very
Speaker 1: lengthy ones. But let's say that in this case, your
Speaker 1: boss actually is right and something like sixty days would
Speaker 1: have been better. Fine, but he should have thought that
Speaker 1: through earlier. And the problem with changing it now is
Speaker 1: that it is signaling to your employee that he can
Speaker 1: reverse your decisions by going over your head to your
Speaker 1: own boss when he doesn't like something that you told him.
Speaker 1: It's undermining to you and you need him to respect
Speaker 1: your authority and your decision making. And your boss is
Speaker 1: actually setting this guy up to think that maybe in
Speaker 1: another thirty days, if he hasn't passed the extended plan,
Speaker 1: he can go over your head then too, and maybe
Speaker 1: get more time or get the whole thing canceled. It's
Speaker 1: not great for him to set him up to believe that,
Speaker 1: and it's definitely not good for you as a manager. Also,
Speaker 1: for the record, California does not have any law that
Speaker 1: would prohibit you letting someone go for performance reasons. You
Speaker 1: can't fire someone in any state because of their race,
Speaker 1: or their gender, or their religion or disability or so forth.
Speaker 1: But in every state, including California, you can fire someone
Speaker 1: for legitimate performance reasons. And you are on especially safe
Speaker 1: ground when you have the kind of documentation of those
Speaker 1: issues that a performance improvement plan provides you with. Now,
Speaker 1: if your boss is worried about nuisance lawsuits, I get that.
Speaker 1: And if he just wants to double your documentation to
Speaker 1: ward that off, I get that as well. But he
Speaker 1: should at least acknowledge to you that he messed up
Speaker 1: by not figuring that out earlier. Are on, and that
Speaker 1: now he's put you in this difficult position with your employee,
Speaker 1: and he should be telling you that he will definitely
Speaker 1: have your back in letting this guy go in thirty
Speaker 1: days or whatever time period you decide if the problems
Speaker 1: do continue. Now you asked if you should have tried
Speaker 1: to give your employee a heads up that things were
Speaker 1: not working out, but you did. That is what a
Speaker 1: performance improvement plan is. Assuming that you did a plan
Speaker 1: that clearly said you've got thirty days you need to
Speaker 1: improve in the following ways during that time and if not,
Speaker 1: we may let you go. That is a heads up.
Speaker 1: That is a very clear heads up that in fact
Speaker 1: is a huge part of the point of doing an
Speaker 1: improvement plan, you know, to make sure that everyone is
Speaker 1: on the same page about what needs to change and
Speaker 1: what will happen if things don't change. As for what
Speaker 1: your boss should have done, well, he I mean, he
Speaker 1: should have thought this that earlier so that if he
Speaker 1: wanted to do a longer plan, you would know that
Speaker 1: from the outset. Or he should have told this guy
Speaker 1: when he called him that you and he had spoken
Speaker 1: and that you were aligned on the situation, and he
Speaker 1: certainly should be giving you some reassurance now that he's
Speaker 1: not going to flip flop again at the end of
Speaker 1: this extension. As for how to handle the employee going forward,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you are extending the improvement plan and
Speaker 1: like another thirty days or something like that. I'm guessing
Speaker 1: I suspect, just based on watching a lot of these situations,
Speaker 1: that he is not going to improve, not because people
Speaker 1: don't improve when they're put on improvement plans, a lot
Speaker 1: of people do, but based on the fact that he
Speaker 1: hasn't done it so far. I'm skeptical that giving him
Speaker 1: another thirty days will somehow change that. So I suspect
Speaker 1: that you will have clearcut justification to let him go
Speaker 1: at the end of the extension. So I would talk
Speaker 1: to your boss right now and just make absolutely sure
Speaker 1: that you are both on the same page now that
Speaker 1: he is on board with that plan, so that there
Speaker 1: are no surprises when you get to the end of
Speaker 1: this extension. But if I'm wrong and you do see
Speaker 1: the improvement that you need, then great. Then if he's
Speaker 1: working at the level that you need, then fine, But
Speaker 1: you would want to make it really clear that the
Speaker 1: improvement needs to be sustained over time. He can't slip
Speaker 1: back to old habits and then expect that he'll get
Speaker 1: a brand new improvement plan and start that process all
Speaker 1: over again. A condition of taking him off the plan
Speaker 1: is that everyone agrees that this performance level will be
Speaker 1: sustained and that if not, you would need to let
Speaker 1: him go. And you want to make sure that your
Speaker 1: boss is on board with that, and that you talk
Speaker 1: through exactly what that would mean in different scenarios so
Speaker 1: that he doesn't pull the rug out from under you again.
Speaker 1: And when I say, talk through what it means in
Speaker 1: different scenarios. I mean, really spell it out, because he
Speaker 1: might be thinking, oh, sure, yeah, that sounds fine in theory,
Speaker 1: but he might think it through more thoroughly and more critically.
Speaker 1: If you say, okay, just to make sure if the
Speaker 1: next thirty days go the same way that these last
Speaker 1: thirty days go, then on December one or whatever your
Speaker 1: date is, that means that we would let him go.
Speaker 1: Is that is that you're under standing as well? You know,
Speaker 1: just really spell it out and make sure that he's
Speaker 1: thinking it all the way through, because sometimes with managers,
Speaker 1: you'll do that and then they'll think, oh no, I'm
Speaker 1: not actually comfortable with that, and it's better to find
Speaker 1: that up now so that you can figure out a
Speaker 1: plan that he will actually be on board with the
Speaker 1: whole way through. About being annoyed with your employee for
Speaker 1: going over your head, I get it, it is annoying,
Speaker 1: but I think the way to look at it is
Speaker 1: to decide, you know, we're talking about his job here,
Speaker 1: and if he truly believed that he was being treated unfairly,
Speaker 1: it is okay for him to escalate it. I mean,
Speaker 1: if he really had been treated unfairly, we would want
Speaker 1: him to have recourse in that situation. If you felt
Speaker 1: like your boss was treating you unfairly, it might seem
Speaker 1: reasonable to go over his head to his boss, right,
Speaker 1: So I would just try to remember that. Now, if
Speaker 1: you get into a situation where he keeps doing it repeatedly,
Speaker 1: that's a problem and you would need to talk to
Speaker 1: your boss about redirecting this guy back to you. But
Speaker 1: if it's just happened the one time, and it was
Speaker 1: when his job was on the line, it's understandable. So
Speaker 1: I try to let that part of it go and
Speaker 1: move past it. Let's take a quick break here and
Speaker 1: come back with more questions. Here's our next question. I
Speaker 1: share my office with two women. Are spaces are a
Speaker 1: cubicle type area? My issue is I have a coworker
Speaker 1: who loves to eat nuts or chips while at her desk,
Speaker 1: which is fine. However, she is an incredibly loud cheer.
Speaker 1: It sounds like she's always chewing on a handful of rocks.
Speaker 1: On top of that, in recent months, she started to
Speaker 1: answer her phone and speak to our customers while chewing
Speaker 1: on these treats. I find it so rude. It doesn't
Speaker 1: really bother my other coworker, but it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: I've resorted to wearing headphones all day and listening to
Speaker 1: music or podcast. In recent weeks, things have gone downhill.
Speaker 1: She's now started belching out loud without and I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do anymore. I know
Speaker 1: in the next year or two we will be moving
Speaker 1: and all of us will get our own offices, so
Speaker 1: this is not an issue I'll have to deal with forever,
Speaker 1: But for the time being, what do I do? Although
Speaker 1: not ideal, I can deal with it with my headphones.
Speaker 1: I'm just more concerned with her talking to our customers
Speaker 1: while eating. I just don't know how to go about
Speaker 1: this situation. Please help, well, you have my sympathy. Is
Speaker 1: I know how aggravating it can be to be trapped
Speaker 1: next to someone who is making a sound that grates
Speaker 1: on your nerves all day long. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it makes you feel any better or not, but my
Speaker 1: inbox is full of letters from people whose coworker sits
Speaker 1: nearby and make some kind of annoying noise all day long.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's loud chewing, sometimes it's drumming their fingers. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's talking to themselves or having lead phone calls. There
Speaker 1: are a bunch of different ways that this happens, and
Speaker 1: it is slowly driving a large portion of office workers
Speaker 1: crazy from what I can tell from my mail. I
Speaker 1: know it can sound like a small thing when you're
Speaker 1: not the one who's dealing with it, and I do
Speaker 1: think it's true that some people just aren't that bothered
Speaker 1: by these types of sounds. But if you're someone who is,
Speaker 1: it can be so aggravating, especially because you're a captive
Speaker 1: audience when you're at work and you can't easily get
Speaker 1: away from it. The thing is, though there might not
Speaker 1: be a lot that you can do about it, using
Speaker 1: headphones to block it out is smart, and if you
Speaker 1: don't feel like having headphones in all day long, you
Speaker 1: could also try white noise if the coworkers around you
Speaker 1: will agree to it. If it were something like humming
Speaker 1: or drumming her fingers, you could just ask her directly.
Speaker 1: You know, Hey, you probably don't realize that you're doing this.
Speaker 1: It's pretty distracting. Could I ask you to stop? But
Speaker 1: with eating, it's harder to say, hey, you're allowed cheer
Speaker 1: and it's gross, please stop. Well, maybe you could actually,
Speaker 1: with some relationship, if you got along really well and
Speaker 1: you had good rapport, you actually could kind of joke
Speaker 1: about it, you know, say, good lord, you're allowed tour.
Speaker 1: You've got to keep that down, or I'm going to
Speaker 1: confiscate your chips. If you have that kind of relationship
Speaker 1: where you like each other and you joke together, maybe
Speaker 1: you could do that. But it won't go over well
Speaker 1: with everyone. And some of this may just be realizing
Speaker 1: that working around other humans means working around noises. It's
Speaker 1: just part of the package because we are a loud
Speaker 1: and gross species, some of us more than others. But
Speaker 1: there is that thing about her talking to clients with
Speaker 1: her mouthful, and that one, honestly might not really be
Speaker 1: your business, even though I get why you're annoyed by it.
Speaker 1: If you have a really good relationship with her, it
Speaker 1: is possible that you could say something like, Hey, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you realize, but if I were your client,
Speaker 1: I could probably tell that you were chewing while you
Speaker 1: were talking to me just now, and I probably would
Speaker 1: not be thrilled. But if you don't have a close
Speaker 1: relationship with her, or a relationship that allows for that,
Speaker 1: then I think you've just got a figure. It's not
Speaker 1: your problem to solve. It's something her boss might want
Speaker 1: to address, but it doesn't really rise to the level
Speaker 1: of something that you should be tipping her manager off about. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's do one more. I have a question for you
Speaker 1: about a somewhat sensitive work subject. So I began a
Speaker 1: new job about three weeks ago, and it since comes
Speaker 1: my attention through two separate conversations with two separate employees
Speaker 1: that I work with, that there were three people in
Speaker 1: the office who left around the same time, about three
Speaker 1: months ago, so this is prior to me starting, and
Speaker 1: they left rather abruptly, and both of my colleagues at
Speaker 1: different points have said to me that there is confusion
Speaker 1: about why they left, but that it is a sensitive
Speaker 1: subject and they're not a hundred percent sure what the
Speaker 1: reason is that they left or why they left abruptly.
Speaker 1: In fact, one of my colleagues said to me that
Speaker 1: she was away on vacation and when she returned, there
Speaker 1: were a lot of meetings behind closed doors and then
Speaker 1: those employees were gone. So my question is this, is
Speaker 1: this something that I should raise to my supervisor. Should
Speaker 1: I say to her that two of our colleagues have
Speaker 1: spoken to me about this and that it concerns me,
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering if she can reveal a little bit
Speaker 1: about what happened and how it will affect the work
Speaker 1: culture of our office. Thank you. I would not, especially
Speaker 1: as a new employee, because the thing is, there are
Speaker 1: all kinds of reasons that this could have happened. It
Speaker 1: could have been that they were laid off because of
Speaker 1: budget cuts. It could have been that they were fired
Speaker 1: even for different reasons for each of them, and the
Speaker 1: timing was a coincidence. Or maybe there had been long
Speaker 1: running issues with all of them in your office decided
Speaker 1: to deal with it all at once. Or they could
Speaker 1: have been fired for the same reason. Who knows. They
Speaker 1: could have been doing something shady together or all involved
Speaker 1: in something that was firable, or they could have all
Speaker 1: resigned in protest over something to make a point. There's
Speaker 1: no way to know what it was, but any of
Speaker 1: these would definitely have resulted in the closed door meetings
Speaker 1: that your coworkers saw. If you were a long time
Speaker 1: employee and you had concerns about what had happened, it
Speaker 1: would be reasonable to talk to your manager and ask
Speaker 1: if there was anything that she could share with you.
Speaker 1: She might not be able to because often things like
Speaker 1: firings are confidential and with good reason, But it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be out of line to ask. But as a new
Speaker 1: employee who has only been there for a few weeks
Speaker 1: and who wasn't there a few months ago when this happened,
Speaker 1: it's going to look a little odd to ask about it.
Speaker 1: You risk it coming across as gossipy or otherwise. It's
Speaker 1: just not really being clear what your stake is in
Speaker 1: finding out now. Certainly, if you had heard specifics that
Speaker 1: you wanted to ask about because of a concrete concern
Speaker 1: it raised for you, like if there had been harassment
Speaker 1: or discrimination, as she is, and you wanted to know
Speaker 1: how those would be handled going forward, that would be
Speaker 1: something you could ask about. Or if it was something
Speaker 1: like one of the people who left used to do
Speaker 1: part of your job and now there are questions about
Speaker 1: how that work will be handled, you could ask about that,
Speaker 1: Or if there were things that you potentially really did
Speaker 1: need to know to be able to do your job,
Speaker 1: like if one of them had worked closely with a
Speaker 1: client who you now handle and you needed to know
Speaker 1: if there was any sensitive history for you to be
Speaker 1: aware of, that's something that you could ask about. But
Speaker 1: if it's really just I heard people left under mysterious
Speaker 1: circumstances and I want to know why, it's not really
Speaker 1: something that you have a lot of standing to ask about,
Speaker 1: especially when longer time employees haven't been told either. Now,
Speaker 1: if you are worried that maybe the says something problematic
Speaker 1: about the culture, the best thing to do there is
Speaker 1: to reserve judgment and pay attention to what you are
Speaker 1: seeing firsthand. You know, how does your manager manage what
Speaker 1: is the culture on the team. Are you getting clear
Speaker 1: expectations for your role and useful feedback and the support
Speaker 1: that you need to do your job? Is your manager approachable?
Speaker 1: I put the most weight on that stuff, the stuff
Speaker 1: that you see happening now, and not get too caught
Speaker 1: up and worrying about something for before you were there,
Speaker 1: unless and until you see it playing out in more
Speaker 1: concrete ways that would make it more relevant to you. Well,
Speaker 1: that is our show for today. If you would like
Speaker 1: to hear your question answered on a future episode, I
Speaker 1: would love to answer it. You can record it on
Speaker 1: the show voicemail at eight five five two six work.
Speaker 1: That's eight five five two six nine six seven five,
Speaker 1: or you can record it in a sound file on
Speaker 1: your phone and email it to podcast at Aska manager
Speaker 1: dot org. That's it for today and I will be
Speaker 1: back next time with more questions. M