1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Laala, Hello, gorgeous, 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Untraditionally, Lala. I have officially become a 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: fan of the Mormon Wives show on Hulu. And there's 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: a reason for that. So Miranda, who just recently was 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: added to the cast. And it's crazy because Utah is 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: definitely a small place. So I know of Miranda because 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: of Easton, my brother, and Miranda was dating one of 8 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: Easton's best friends. So when she entered the mix of 9 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: Mormon Wives, I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta 10 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: get her on the pod. So please give your loudest 11 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: warm welcome to Miranda from Mormon Wives. Hello, Miranda Hope. 12 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: How are you, my love? 13 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 2: I'm so good. How are you? 14 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: I'm good? You look stunning. Love the cross necklace? 15 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you. True Mormon fashion, right. 16 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: True Mormon fashion. How is Utah these days? 17 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 2: It's good? I mean, probably better than it used to be. 18 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: I would say, really, why do you say that? I 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: don't know. 20 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 2: I just feel like, I mean, I'm from Idaho, which 21 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 2: is kind of like an extension of Utah. I would 22 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 2: say it's like a little a little more diverse, not 23 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 2: by much, a little bit. 24 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where we would go to get the kegs 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: for parties, is I see. 26 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the liquor laws that are a little better, 27 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 2: for sure. But yeah, I feel like growing up and Idaho, 28 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 2: I still had a lot of the same you know, 29 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: cultural cultural things that you deal with growing up in Utah. 30 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 2: But I feel like Utah just feels in Idaho too, 31 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: just feels a lot more diverse. I think, you know, 32 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: maybe it's because a lot of people have left the 33 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 2: church and a lot of people have moved into the state. 34 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,279 Speaker 2: You know. I think there's a few factors that plays 35 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 2: play a role in it. But I feel like it's 36 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 2: different than it used to be for sure. 37 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. I left Utah when I was twenty three and 38 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:02,639 Speaker 1: I'm thirty five now, and growing up there was such 39 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: a strange It was a wonderful place to grow up. 40 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: I would not have had it any any differently, but 41 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: there I was looked at as kind of like the 42 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 1: black sheep, where it was like, oh, we don't hang 43 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: out with Lauren because she's not a part of the church. 44 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 1: So actually, when people say was it hard to make 45 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: friends there, it was like no, because the non Mormons 46 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: kind of gravitated toward each other. 47 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, the. 48 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: Few that there were, we were like, we're all We've 49 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: got right. And so it is interesting to me because 50 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: when I first learned about this, this Mormon show that 51 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: was going to be on Hulu, I was like, I 52 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: don't know that I can watch. It's a little too 53 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: close to home, and I think that there are things 54 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: that they're going to show that may be a bit 55 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: triggering because my dad grew up in the Mormon Church. 56 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: So my family members were like a little quirky, right 57 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: to put it, kind of Yes, So how long had 58 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: you been in the mix without being on the. 59 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 2: Show like mom Talk and everything? 60 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, Mom Talk? Were you there from the beginning? 61 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 2: Yeah? So it was me and Taylor who was during 62 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 2: the pandemic, we had been friends. Haya and I became 63 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: friends and let's say, let's say it was probably twenty eighteen, Okay, 64 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: think it was probably about twenty eighteen, and then during 65 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 2: the pandemic, we you know, that's kind of when TikTok 66 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 2: started taking off and we just started making videos together. 67 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 2: And then a few months after that that's when we 68 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: met Camill and then started making tiktoks with Camill. She's 69 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: the other like blonde friend that she's actually not on 70 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: the show, but okay. She the three of us started 71 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 2: making tiktoks together. We would joke that like we were 72 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 2: because people think we're twins, me and camel We would 73 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 2: joke that like Taylor was our mom. That gained a 74 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: lot of traction, and then it just kind of like 75 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,839 Speaker 2: took off from there, and then obviously with the whole 76 00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 2: Swinging Scandal, that's when everything like fell apart, then had 77 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 2: a bit of a hiatus, and then came back. 78 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: So when you guys, were you part of the Swinging Scandal? 79 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: Were you in the mix? 80 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I it wasn't entirely forthcoming about my involvement 81 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: in the beginning for sure, but I think at the 82 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 2: place that I was coming from back then though, was 83 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 2: definitely because the way that Taylor was portraying it was 84 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 2: that was very much in a light that wasn't what 85 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 2: I felt like was reality at all, that there were 86 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 2: other couples that were involved in way more and with 87 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 2: me and then my husband at the time, it was 88 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 2: like the length and I say this in the show, 89 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 2: but the length the furthest we ever went was when 90 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 2: we played spin the bottle and like kissed people, but 91 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 2: there was no like real like swinging or switching. And 92 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 2: so to me, I'm just like even now, like I 93 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 2: think it's funny because sometimes people will be like, that's 94 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 2: kind of like a like laughable version of swinging, but 95 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: also like for Mormons, like it's crazy, you know what, 96 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 2: it's a huge deal, yeah, big deal. And also like 97 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 2: the thing is I'm like, yes, I wasn't swinging per se, 98 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 2: but it was still weird, still like a weird thing 99 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 2: to be involved in. And then also your super Mormon 100 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 2: parents and like finding that out, and my parents didn't 101 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 2: even know really at the time. I think they had 102 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 2: a hunch, but they didn't really even know the time 103 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 2: that I was in the midst of a faith crisis 104 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 2: as well. So then I just had such a it 105 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 2: was it was it was hard. It was really heavy 106 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 2: dealing with Okay, well, now I'm having to confront the 107 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 2: fact that I don't know that I believe in the 108 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 2: church anymore, and I don't know if I want to 109 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: be a part of this. On top of by the way, 110 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,239 Speaker 2: I'm supposedly a swinger, and right they were just falling apart. 111 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 2: So it was just a lot all at once. 112 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: Was did you find that you were kind of shunned 113 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: from the Mormon community when because you taught I'm I'm 114 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 1: from there, and I know that people talk and things 115 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: are very like when something happens within the church and 116 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: in your ward, it's like they can't get enough of 117 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: the gossip. But they almost some people thrive of, you know, 118 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: pushing you out, which kind of goes against the entire 119 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: point of the religion, which is like love and acceptance 120 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: and like forgiving people. Did you find that people started 121 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: treating you differently? 122 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: I mean, to be honest, I kind of feel like 123 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 2: I already was like ostracized to a degree a little bit, 124 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 2: just because like at that point I wasn't super active. 125 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 2: I think like sometimes like little things that I would 126 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 2: post here and there would maybe be like a little 127 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 2: controversial or like problematic to some people. So I think 128 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: there was already a little bit of talk. But yeah, 129 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 2: when the whole swinging thing like came out, for sure, 130 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 2: like my hometown, I know was having an absolute hey day, 131 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 2: And I think for me it was more so like 132 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 2: I didn't care as much about that. It was more 133 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 2: so like just my family, like I have a very 134 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 2: close relationship with my family. Like I feel like at 135 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 2: the time too, I had a really deep fear of 136 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 2: disappointing my family and my parents and and you know, 137 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 2: we've worked through a lot, and I give them great 138 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 2: for you know, the work that they've done to be 139 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 2: accepting of me and like where I am now. But 140 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 2: I yeah, I think that was probably the hardest part 141 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 2: for me, as far as like, you know, people that 142 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 2: I went to high school with, or people in my 143 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 2: own neighborhood that I'm kind of like, what difference doesn't 144 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 2: make to I'm not going to see you either way, 145 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: so right, whatever, But yeah, for sure, you definitely you 146 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 2: hear whisperings and like later on. It is interesting because 147 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 2: I feel like once I actually joined the show, and 148 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 2: it was like at first it's like talk of the town, 149 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 2: you're a harlot basically, and then it goes from that 150 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 2: to then when there's a level of like fame that 151 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 2: comes with it, then there's like a little bit of 152 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 2: a switch up sometimes where it's like, hey, sorry for 153 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 2: everything that like I said about you or whatever, which 154 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, I appreciate, but it's also like interesting timing, 155 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 2: you know what. I mean, and so I think there 156 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 2: was a little bit of that, But all in all, 157 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 2: I feel like I don't feel like I let like 158 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 2: the outside noise affect me too much. I think it 159 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 2: was really just mostly my really close relationships that I 160 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 2: was trying to protect and worry about, worried. 161 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: About are you still active in the church? 162 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 2: No? 163 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: Okay? And has that affected your relationship with your family? 164 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 2: Yes? And no, Like I would say no now, at first, 165 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 2: it was difficult, like there were definitely a lot of 166 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 2: hard conversations, and you know, there are certain things that 167 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 2: I know that like my parents and I might never 168 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 2: really see eye to eye on. But at the end 169 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 2: of the day, I feel like they've they've realized work 170 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 2: that they need to do in order to be really 171 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: like accepting and loving of me, because I know that 172 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: their love is unconditional, and they've really made an effort 173 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 2: to make me feel like it is. And so I 174 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 2: really commend them for that, and I feel like because 175 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 2: of that, we've been able to maintain a really good relationship. 176 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: That's amazing because there are so many parts of the 177 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: Mormon religion and many religions, you know, I think coming 178 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: from Utah religion, now scares me in any capacity, no 179 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,439 Speaker 1: matter what it is. Organize religion I just don't want 180 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: any part of. But there are so many things that 181 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: come with the Mormon religion that are so beautiful, right, So, 182 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure having a daughter who kind of decided to 183 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: take a different path taught your family a different level 184 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: of acceptance totally. 185 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that that. You know, when when you 186 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 2: grow up one way and then you are you stay 187 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 2: around the same area and you're surrounded by people that 188 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: are like minded, it kind of you automatically are going 189 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 2: to have you know, you're not going to really think 190 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 2: outside the box, and it's hard for you to really 191 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 2: like develop opinions of your own. And I think that's 192 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 2: something I, you know, through my faith crisis, really realized 193 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 2: that I was important to me. And you know, that's 194 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 2: something that I'll give my ex credit for too, is 195 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 2: that he actually left the church prior to me like 196 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 2: really diving into things. But he, I think has always 197 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 2: been a really free thinker, and I feel like while 198 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 2: I was going through my faith crisis, I think it 199 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 2: really really taught me to trust myself. And I think 200 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,319 Speaker 2: that's also been you know, eye opening for my family 201 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 2: as well. Because at the end of the day, I'm 202 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 2: like I told my parents, I'm like, you didn't raise 203 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 2: a daughter that is Mormon. You raised a daughter that 204 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 2: has good morals. And obviously, yeah, have I made mistakes 205 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 2: along the way in my life, of course, but also like, 206 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, like I know that 207 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 2: I have a strong sense of self. I know that 208 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 2: I have good morals and good ethics, and like, to me, 209 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 2: that should be more important than my activity level within 210 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 2: the religion that you're part of. And I think they 211 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 2: see that now, and you know, they see that even 212 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: though I might live differently and think differently than they do, 213 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 2: that I still am a good person and I'm still 214 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 2: who they raised me to be. And I feel like, 215 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,559 Speaker 2: you know, that's validating for them. And overall, just having 216 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 2: that mutual respect has been really great, and I've been 217 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 2: really grateful to see them kind of flourish and think 218 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 2: outside of the box. And whether it be like religion 219 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 2: or politics or or just like really anything, I feel 220 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 2: like they're a lot more open to a lot of things. Really, 221 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 2: Ever since the beginning of my faith crisis, which I 222 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 2: really appreciate. 223 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: Do you ever have guilt? Because I know that my dad. 224 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: He left the church when he was gosh, I want 225 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: to say twenty two, so well before I was even born, 226 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 1: And there were moments of him being in his fifties 227 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: where he would have some sort of internal battle because 228 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: you know, he was raised in that environment for so 229 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: long that there were times that he would feel guilt 230 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 1: over some like the strangest things. 231 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm just now getting to 232 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: a point where I've dropped almost all of that. And 233 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 2: who's to say, right, Like I could be much like 234 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 2: your dad were down the line, maybe I have something resurface. 235 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 2: I think obviously growing healing, it's obviously like an ever 236 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:09,680 Speaker 2: evolving experience. But I think that I before and for 237 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 2: a while at first after I chose to step away 238 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: from it, I it was really hard, especially because my 239 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,839 Speaker 2: dad came from a background where he was really the 240 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 2: only religious one, and he had siblings that made decisions 241 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 2: that landed them in really tough situations, and he just 242 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 2: he had had a rough upbringing in a lot of ways. 243 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 2: And so I think for him, he his personality type 244 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 2: like clung to it, and I think for him it 245 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 2: like saved him in a lot of ways. And so 246 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 2: I think I held guilt because I felt like I 247 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 2: was responsible for his feelings. I didn't want to like 248 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,719 Speaker 2: set him off by you know, me choosing to think 249 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 2: differently and believed diferently. And something my dad always took 250 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 2: pride in was the fact that, you know, all of 251 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 2: his daughters because I'm the youngest of four girls. Oh wow, Sun, Yeah, no, 252 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 2: it's so great, but that we all, you know, were 253 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 2: such great and like valiant women and members of the church, 254 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 2: and you know, we married a term missionaries and got 255 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 2: sealed in the temple, like you know, all the boxes 256 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 2: were being checked, and so I felt like I was 257 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 2: stripping him of that like badge of honor that I 258 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 2: felt like he had that like my parents had. And 259 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 2: so I feel like I carried a lot of guilt 260 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 2: for that. And you know, I think throughout my journey, 261 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,559 Speaker 2: I've realized that obviously I'm my own person and that 262 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 2: I'm not responsible for everybody's feelings all the time. And 263 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 2: that's like something that I've I've taken upon myself a lot, 264 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 2: like throughout my life and my relationships and friendships, and 265 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm now at a point where I 266 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 2: don't feel like I do that and I realized that 267 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 2: it's okay to be a little bit selfish and necessary 268 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 2: into said boundaries, and and that's something that like they've 269 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 2: also you know, it was difficult at first, and yeah, 270 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 2: I felt a lot of guilt and shame. But I 271 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 2: think that like, because my parents like do respect me now. 272 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 2: I think I probably would still feel that way if 273 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 2: they treated me poorly because of my accasion, But because 274 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 2: they'd still respect me and have love for me, I 275 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 2: think it makes it a lot easier for me to 276 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 2: drop that guilt for sure. 277 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,959 Speaker 1: Of course, So when when did you decide or I 278 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: guess when did they approach you to say, hey, we 279 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 1: think you'd be great for the show on Hulu Secret Lives? 280 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 2: Oh it was in twenty twenty two. 281 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: Okay, because I remember, you know, my brother Easton, Yes, 282 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: and he's friends with Jake, your ex. Yes, And I 283 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: and correct me if I'm wrong. I remember you being 284 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: approached or I had heard you had been approached, like 285 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 1: at the very beginning of the show, and you were 286 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: not really into the idea. It was like, I'm kind 287 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: of good on that. Yeah, So was that just because 288 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 1: you didn't know? So the direction was life chaotic at 289 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: that point? In time. 290 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was still married and I at that 291 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 2: point in our marriage, we were kind of like I 292 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 2: was like already one foot out, but like trying to 293 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: like make it work, not really sure what I wanted. 294 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 2: And so you know, you hear like what reality TV 295 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 2: is about and how toxic it can be, and really 296 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 2: like and it's true if you have skeletons in your closet, 297 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: like be prepared for those to come out, Like that's 298 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 2: for sure accurate, and it wasn't it's for me. I'm like, 299 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 2: am I wanting or willing to put everything we're going 300 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 2: through like under a microscope when I already had Just 301 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 2: like the way I was thinking was like I was 302 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 2: already kind of exploited online, like without my consent, Like 303 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: why would I willingly put myself in a position to 304 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 2: do that again, like you know, my own doing it 305 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: didn't really make sense, and I just like I kept 306 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 2: trying to justify it, and it just like did not 307 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 2: feel good to me, Like my like gut was telling 308 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 2: me no. And so ultimately I decided that it wasn't 309 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 2: for me. And also too, like Taylor and I were 310 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 2: not in good standing at that point either, and so 311 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, do I want to go be around this 312 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 2: person too? That like doesn't make me feel good, that 313 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 2: like disturbs my peace and doesn't make me feel great 314 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 2: about myself. And there's a lot of trauma still there 315 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 2: that I'm trying to work through. It just like did 316 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 2: not seem like it would be a good idea, and 317 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:38,080 Speaker 2: so I decided against it. They like filmed the pilot 318 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 2: obviously with some like with Taylor's arrest and everything, they 319 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 2: like paused everything for a while, and then then they 320 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 2: ended up filming and then yeah, it was released, and 321 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 2: it was like two days after season one aired. I 322 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 2: got a call from one of the producers and he 323 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 2: was like, hey, have you reconsidered? And at this point 324 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 2: I had already I was divorced or okay, split separated. 325 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 2: He had moved out, but like my mind was made 326 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 2: up on that, and so at this point I'm like, 327 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 2: I'm a single mom. You know, obviously I do social 328 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 2: media already, and I'm like, maybe I do reconsider this 329 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 2: in a different light. And at that point I just 330 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,919 Speaker 2: felt completely different about it, and in fact, like everyone 331 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 2: around me was like I just don't think it's like 332 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 2: the best idea, and I like I just felt so 333 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,679 Speaker 2: differently about it. I was like, I actually like, I 334 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 2: don't have that pit in my stomach now. I don't 335 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 2: feel like I feel like I need to do this, 336 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 2: and so I you know, ultimately I signed my contract 337 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 2: the day before I my first day of filming because 338 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 2: I was so back and forth. 339 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: And do you have any regrets doing it? 340 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 2: No? 341 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: So you had, you had a blast, it was. 342 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 2: Honestly, I would say that I think it's been you know, 343 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 2: knock on wood. I think it's been a lot more 344 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 2: positive than I think I was imagining. I think that 345 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: I think there is a lot you have a lot 346 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 2: more in your in control than I thought I would have. Okay, 347 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 2: And and maybe that's just like the way that our 348 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 2: production works. Maybe that's you know, I'm sure it's different 349 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 2: across all shows. Maybe like you feel differently with vander Punt. 350 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 2: But I think there's you know, obviously you have like 351 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 2: editing and everything that goes into it. But all in all, 352 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 2: I feel like, I, you know, I feel like so 353 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 2: far I've been able to like show up as my 354 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 2: authentic self and like whatever you you have to give 355 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 2: them enough to like spin something out of you know 356 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like I think Whitney, for example, like 357 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 2: with season one being the villain, it wasn't like Whitney 358 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 2: was just rainbows and butterflies and sunshine the whole time, 359 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 2: and they like made her out to look like a villain, right, 360 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,439 Speaker 2: Like you have to have some villainesque qualities, and I 361 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 2: not to say that I haven't. You know, I'm like 362 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 2: definitely not perfect. 363 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: And everyone has their day. You You're you're the angel 364 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: one year and the next year you're exactly. 365 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, like one season you can be great the 366 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 2: next season like, yeah, you're the villa, And so I 367 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 2: think that. Like for me though, I'm like I'll be 368 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,920 Speaker 2: the villain as long as I feel like I'm showing 369 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 2: up authentically. I'm like, if I feel like I'm being 370 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 2: true to who I am and like people don't love that, 371 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 2: I like I I'll take it on the chin, like 372 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 2: I love that. 373 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: That's like the ultimate reality TV star though, because you're 374 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,880 Speaker 1: you have to go to bed with yourself at night. 375 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,440 Speaker 1: So like, no matter what the comment section says, I 376 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,439 Speaker 1: know that the moment I walk in the door, I 377 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: have to know that I stand behind everything that I said. 378 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: And I didn't do it because I wanted the comment 379 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: section to look a certain way, or I wanted people 380 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: to like me. I did that because that was my truth, and. 381 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 2: I would do it again exactly. 382 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 1: And you know what, if it doesn't land and I 383 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,360 Speaker 1: have regrets about it, then how hard is it to say, 384 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,480 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I wish I could redo that exactly. Not 385 00:19:48,560 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: a big deal. Did you enjoy doing the reunion with 386 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: Nick Vile? 387 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was good. I think that there, 388 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 2: you know, I feel like it was kind of the 389 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 2: wholesome addition. You know, not that all of it was wholesome, 390 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,159 Speaker 2: but it was kind of the wholesome edition that I 391 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 2: feel like we needed, you know. I think that like 392 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 2: it added more depth and like more it allowed people 393 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 2: to see other sides of a lot of our casts, 394 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 2: and it you know, opened the door to having empathy 395 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 2: and like people realizing that we are real people with 396 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 2: real feelings that go through real things. Yeah, and so 397 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 2: I feel like that was that was good. I think 398 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 2: I did my I did a podcast with Nick last season, 399 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 2: and I feel like he was great with that and everything, 400 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 2: and so overall, like I feel like it went well. 401 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: And that was your guys' first reunion, like they hadn't 402 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: done one for the first season. No, no, nothing better 403 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: than a reunion. 404 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,920 Speaker 2: Man, Oh my gosh, it just. 405 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: Ties it all up in a boat. I was so 406 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 1: happy to hear that you guys were doing that. I 407 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: have to ask, and people sometimes think I'm nuts when 408 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: I say this. I find reality TV to be at 409 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: times very therapeutic and it allows me to in normal life, 410 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,679 Speaker 1: when a camera's not on, I very much pick my 411 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,719 Speaker 1: battles right, And I think people would be shocked by this, 412 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 1: but I can become a doormat very quickly because I 413 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,239 Speaker 1: just don't want to deal when there's a camera up 414 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, I now get to say everything 415 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: that I always want to say, and it allows me 416 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 1: to say, Okay, i can set a boundary in this moment, 417 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: I'm not going to pick my battle. I'm going to 418 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 1: defend myself. Do you think that once, once you started filming, 419 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 1: that you were allowed to make amends with people, hash 420 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: things out to get to a better place. I don't 421 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: know what the upcoming season is, so I don't want 422 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: to ask, like are you and Taylor good? But like, 423 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: so in a more kosher way, did you find that 424 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 1: you did that? 425 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 2: Yes, I could not possibly agree more with you. I 426 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 2: think you know, more than any other materialistic benefit that 427 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 2: has come from the show. I think that, like gut 428 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 2: feeling that I had for when it came to deciding 429 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: on season two was more about coming into myself and 430 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 2: becoming my most authentic self than anything else. And I 431 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,199 Speaker 2: think that you're one hundred percent right where I and 432 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 2: you can't even kind of see it in season one, 433 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 2: like obviously I'm like coming in walking on eggshells, you know. 434 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, I know that I'm walking into the into 435 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 2: the lions Den. I know that I'm like in a 436 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,639 Speaker 2: situation where you know, there's daggers on me. I know 437 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 2: that I'm not being welcomed with open arms entirely. And 438 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 2: so I think that obviously kind of made me a 439 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 2: little weary of being super vocal and one hundred percent 440 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 2: speaking my mind all the time, taking a back seat 441 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 2: in certain situations. And I feel like as time has 442 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,640 Speaker 2: gone on, I think that and as I've built real 443 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 2: relationships with the women and you know, gotten used to 444 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 2: everything and become more comfortable, I've like dropped so much 445 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 2: of that. Like I also realized how much I put 446 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,880 Speaker 2: myself in a box and by labeling myself as like, oh, 447 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,040 Speaker 2: like I'm kind of a people pleaser, like and now 448 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 2: I'm like I might have people pleasing tendencies sometimes like 449 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 2: I'm not a people pleaser. I also realized that, like 450 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,879 Speaker 2: after my marriage, I think that, like there were a 451 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 2: lot of things that I was just like, you know what, 452 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,120 Speaker 2: it's not worth it, kind of like you said, pick 453 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 2: your battles. And then you know, I think with like 454 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 2: when I was dating Jake, I realized, you know, after 455 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 2: being in my marriage and then dating somebody like Jake, 456 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,360 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm actually like way more confrontational than 457 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 2: I thought I was, and I was putting myself in 458 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: a box based on who I was like surrounded with, 459 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 2: you know. And so I feel like it's been the 460 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 2: same thing with filming, where I'm in situations where you're 461 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 2: kind of like I don't want to say like rewarded 462 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 2: for speaking up, but like it's it's like a welcome, 463 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,399 Speaker 2: you know, whether the response is great or not, you 464 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 2: know that it's like, Okay, we're here to speak our minds. 465 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, well, I guess like yeah, everyone 466 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 2: else is speaking their minds, Like maybe I should start 467 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 2: speaking my mind, and as I do that, and as 468 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 2: I have done that, and like you'll see a little 469 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 2: bit of that in season three. But as I start 470 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 2: doing that, I'm like, oh, this is actually I feel 471 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 2: so good about this, and like that's like I feel 472 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 2: like a huge weight lifted, actually, and I feel like 473 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 2: it's just helped me be so much more authentic to 474 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 2: myself and show up as who I am. And it's 475 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 2: not like I'm acting out of character because it's my 476 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,479 Speaker 2: real thoughts and feelings. I'm just finally voicing it. 477 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: Finally voicing it, I have to ask, so I at 478 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 1: times see well, by the time I see it, it's 479 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: a real But I'm sure it's a TikTok. I'm like 480 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 1: ninety years old. You seem to have like a very 481 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: healthy co parenting situation with your ex. Is it up 482 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 1: and down? Or did you just get lucky? Because I'm 483 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,399 Speaker 1: very envious. You would not catch me dead making a 484 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: TikTok with my ex. 485 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 2: Well, and I understand that it's like very unconventional, and 486 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 2: that's when people are like, well, why don't you guys 487 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 2: just get back together. I'm like, you couldn't pay me, 488 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 2: no chance, no chance will we ever get back together, 489 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 2: but I think it's a little bit of both, where yes, 490 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 2: there are times where it's ups and down, more stable 491 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 2: than it's ever been for sure, I mean amazing. And 492 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 2: I think Jake can kind of attest to this because 493 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 2: we started dating, you know, pretty quickly after our split, 494 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 2: but where it was like a lot more up and 495 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 2: down for sure, And at first I was like, oh 496 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,640 Speaker 2: my gosh, like I honestly thought that we would coprint 497 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 2: really well, this is so hard, and it was, you know, 498 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,119 Speaker 2: we were just really trying to find our footing and 499 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 2: so it wasn't like great from the beginning. But I 500 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 2: think as like we both continued to heal and work 501 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 2: on ourselves and you know, date other people and whatever. 502 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,560 Speaker 2: I think that like, and we got a good situation 503 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 2: going with the kids got a lot easier. But she said, 504 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 2: I always had a good basis of friendship to where like, 505 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 2: even because our relationship was very like on and off 506 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 2: and up and down when we were dating, but like 507 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 2: even when we weren't like dating, I feel like we 508 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,679 Speaker 2: got along like fairly well. And you know, I'm not 509 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 2: really one to hold grudges. I mean that's you know, 510 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 2: part of why I feel like Taylor and I can 511 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 2: be friends again, I don't. I don't like holding onto that, 512 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 2: and so I feel like we just have given each 513 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,679 Speaker 2: other a grace and really, at the end of the day, 514 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: we prioritize the kids first, and yeah, and I think, yeah, 515 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 2: I think I still see us as a family unit. 516 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,359 Speaker 2: It just looks different obviously than it used to. 517 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 1: That is amazing. Do you want more kids or are 518 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 1: you done? 519 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,919 Speaker 2: I'm open to both. If I were to like not 520 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 2: get remarried or marry someone that already had kids or 521 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,840 Speaker 2: I would be okay with not having more okay, But 522 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 2: if I were to marry somebody who did want children, 523 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 2: I would be open to having like two max like 524 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 2: the even like what maybe. 525 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 1: It's like the Mormon starter pack four kids? 526 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 2: No literally, I know, And like I always said, I 527 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 2: was like, okay, three, Like if I were still married, 528 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,959 Speaker 2: we probably would have had like a third and then 529 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,639 Speaker 2: been done. But I'm like, I don't know, because if 530 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 2: I married someone who didn't have children and they wanted 531 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 2: two of their own, I'd be like, okay, But I 532 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 2: get really sick during my pregnancy, So I'm just like, 533 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 2: I don't know, So we'll see, But I'm open to both. 534 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, how old are you? 535 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 2: I'm twenty eight. 536 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 1: Oh girl, you got plenty of tacks. 537 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 2: Like I'm not really worried about it right now. 538 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 1: Well, and you got married so young and had kids 539 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 1: so young. So do you feel like this is your 540 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: time in life where you're like, I'm on fucking television. 541 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,679 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out and date and do whatever it 542 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 1: is that you maybe didn't get to do when you 543 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,199 Speaker 1: were young that most people do get to do. 544 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure. I think this is definitely like 545 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 2: my me era, and you know, it looks maybe a 546 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,480 Speaker 2: little bit different than most people's me era because I 547 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 2: have two children that are like my priority. But I 548 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 2: you know, I think that even you know, even after 549 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 2: Jake and I broke up, I just was like, I 550 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 2: just want to, like, I know, I need to focus 551 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 2: on myself and my kids in my career right now, 552 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 2: Like I don't. I don't have I know, I can't 553 00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: give a relationship right now what I feel like a 554 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 2: relationship needs. And even now, like I've like barely dated 555 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 2: even since then, Like it's I don't really go out, 556 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 2: I don't do dating apps, I don't like, I don't 557 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 2: do much besides work, honestly right now. But I feel like, 558 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 2: you know, I'm open and open to whatever happens, but 559 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 2: I feel like it would kind of almost have to 560 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,400 Speaker 2: fall in my lap just because I am at peace 561 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 2: with where I'm at right now. I'm not really looking 562 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 2: for anything and I'm just yeah, just focusing on my 563 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 2: kids and me and my career and we'll see where 564 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 2: it takes me. But I'm content with that for now. 565 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: What a wonderful place to be right where you're just 566 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: at peace. And I saw this thing that Lady Gaga 567 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: said the other day. She was like, if you're trying 568 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: to decide between your career and a man, just remember 569 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: your career. Your career will never wake you up in 570 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 1: the middle of the night and tell you they don't 571 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: love you anymore. 572 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And that's the thing is I'm like, 573 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 2: what a man is competing with is that like it's 574 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 2: an it's not another man. It is my piece. And 575 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 2: that is an incredibly difficult thing to compete with because 576 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 2: I can't imagine living with a man. 577 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 1: Oh. I know, once you get a taste of like 578 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: freedom and like control of the the energy and your environment, 579 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: it is it's men really do not have it easy anymore. 580 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 2: No, no, no, I mean that that male loneliness epidemic 581 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 2: has really done its thing, and thank. 582 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: God, I love it. I'm so grateful that you made 583 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: time for me today, and you guys, I want to 584 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: thank you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La. 585 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for a 586 00:29:54,160 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: bonus and again next week. Bye.