1
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,319
Speaker 1: Do you say thank you a lot you feel I do?

2
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 1: I do too. Do you were raised to say thank you? Yes?

3
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,800
Speaker 2: Yes, I would have to say if that sounds so heavy,

4
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,160
Speaker 2: I like this about us. Yes, I was raised like

5
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,440
Speaker 2: if my mom dropped me off at ballet practice, I

6
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,479
Speaker 2: said thank you, even though it's like who else was

7
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,079
Speaker 2: going to take me.

8
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,520
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you still say thank you.

9
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,680
Speaker 2: And I've had people say to me, you say thank

10
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 2: you too much, and I'm like, it's just how I

11
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 2: was raised. And I'm like, if you had to choose

12
00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,040
Speaker 2: between me not saying thank you enough and saying thank

13
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,720
Speaker 2: you too much, we would go say thank you.

14
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:40,640
Speaker 3: Yes, all right?

15
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,800
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I noticed on my text chain like if

16
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 4: I'm you know, I'm constantly thanking someone and then they'll

17
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,199
Speaker 4: like write one thing back, and then I'll say thank

18
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,120
Speaker 4: you again, and I'll look back at the chain and

19
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 4: like there's just so many things.

20
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,880
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay.

21
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,360
Speaker 2: The other thing I was going to say, Randall is

22
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,680
Speaker 2: I'm just noticing, for the first time ever, you have

23
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:01,279
Speaker 2: a tattoo.

24
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm on a tattoo kick right now.

25
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,600
Speaker 3: Well they're very like thin and small for shame. Yeah, yeah,

26
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,840
Speaker 3: but it's yeah, my this is my wife's name and

27
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,680
Speaker 3: my daughter's name. Oh that's so cool.

28
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,760
Speaker 1: Did you get him the same day?

29
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 3: I did? I did.

30
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,480
Speaker 1: Were you worried you were going to get in trouble

31
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 1: with your parents?

32
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:24,280
Speaker 3: No? No, because because I'm a adult, there are those thoughts.

33
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,479
Speaker 1: But everyone well you know, okay, to have your parents

34
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:27,920
Speaker 1: seen them.

35
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,039
Speaker 4: Well, my brother has like full sleeves. Oh really, so

36
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,959
Speaker 4: I could really do anything at this point?

37
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,639
Speaker 1: Is your brother older or young older? Okay? Yeah, Usually it's.

38
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,120
Speaker 2: The youngest who kind of goes like, I'm the youngest

39
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,759
Speaker 2: and I've gone down a different path. And usually it's

40
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 2: the youngest who whiles out shout out to your brother.

41
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

42
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,280
Speaker 1: Was that rough when you first got a tattoo? Or

43
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:49,800
Speaker 1: was he also?

44
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:50,560
Speaker 2: He?

45
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,360
Speaker 3: I think he was older. He was older.

46
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,240
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm not super older, but but I think he

47
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,640
Speaker 4: didn't live in l a.

48
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,320
Speaker 1: Oh.

49
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, he lived away, so he was able to kind

50
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 4: of live with it and then slowly unveil it.

51
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,000
Speaker 1: Yes, because he'd wear long sleeves or something around.

52
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,040
Speaker 4: The family, and when one was like a hundred degrees out,

53
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,079
Speaker 4: he'd be in like something.

54
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,600
Speaker 1: What's going on with your brother?

55
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:15,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

56
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:15,760
Speaker 1: Is he sick.

57
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 2: Does he have a fever? Okay, hi, guys, I may

58
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,760
Speaker 2: go out him and welcome to Thanks Dad.

59
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:21,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the intro now.

60
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,239
Speaker 2: Sure, I was raised by a single mom and I

61
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 2: don't have a relationship with my dad. And here's the thing, guys,

62
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,799
Speaker 2: Not only do I not have a relationship with him,

63
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,480
Speaker 2: I'm never going to have one. And I know we're

64
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,200
Speaker 2: not supposed to speak in absolutes, but here's the thing.

65
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 2: He's actually dead now, so it's not possible unless there's

66
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,800
Speaker 2: an afterlife. I like to believe in one, but I

67
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,640
Speaker 2: feel like if there is one, I'll probably still not

68
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,120
Speaker 2: have a relationship with him. Randall doesn't like the sound

69
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:53,400
Speaker 2: of the Randall furrows his brows at the thought. What

70
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 2: gave you pause? You think in the afterlife I would

71
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,200
Speaker 2: have one?

72
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know.

73
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,119
Speaker 3: I don't know, so I would say I wouldn't roll

74
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:01,519
Speaker 3: that out.

75
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,560
Speaker 2: Okay, that's true. Okay, that's fair, No absolutes, that's the

76
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,960
Speaker 2: whole point. I won't have a relationship with him on earth.

77
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,640
Speaker 1: That's fair, yes.

78
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,160
Speaker 4: Because he's gone unless who knows, unless we're back on earth.

79
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 3: I don't know what.

80
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,800
Speaker 1: Fair enough in my mind? Once we go.

81
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:20,080
Speaker 4: We definitely not here reincarnated into well, you know, a

82
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,000
Speaker 4: horse and another hor who.

83
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:25,040
Speaker 2: Knows you never know. I the other day just feeling

84
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,840
Speaker 2: very spiritual. And I'll probably say cut this out. I

85
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,400
Speaker 2: say that probably ten times when I was maybe shouldn't

86
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 2: be hosting a podcast. I just feel like a freedom

87
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,240
Speaker 2: here because I'm not on a live TV show.

88
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,520
Speaker 1: We're going to cut that out and cut that out

89
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,040
Speaker 1: and cut all. There's no pod podcasts.

90
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just brought you here to talk to me

91
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 2: in front of mics, that's all. But the other day

92
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,080
Speaker 2: I was feeling very woo woo. And I have a dog.

93
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,600
Speaker 2: His name is Chief. He is a little over a

94
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 2: year old, and I don't know why. Maybe I was

95
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,040
Speaker 2: crying about something. I don't think so, I don't I

96
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,760
Speaker 2: don't think so. And I looked at him and I

97
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,520
Speaker 2: was like, is this my grandmother? So I was like, Mama,

98
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,040
Speaker 2: is this mama reincarnated? And then he immediately walked away

99
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 2: from me, and I go, Okay, that was a weird moment.

100
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,840
Speaker 1: But I didn't need to tell anyone to pout.

101
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:10,160
Speaker 2: Wait.

102
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,840
Speaker 4: So what fascinates me about what you just said is

103
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,520
Speaker 4: that you were crying. Yeah, but you didn't remember what

104
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 4: it was about, which makes me wonder do you cry often?

105
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 2: I am a crier, but I wasn't always. I used

106
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 2: to think crying was weak. I was like a sign

107
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,719
Speaker 2: of weakness. And then when I realized it wasn't a

108
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,800
Speaker 2: sign of weakness and it's actually quite healthy. Yeah, I

109
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,760
Speaker 2: feel like I went too hard in the other direction.

110
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,720
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'll cry because i'm happy. I'll cry

111
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,600
Speaker 2: because something's funny, I'll cry because i'm sad, I'll cry

112
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,599
Speaker 2: because something's touching. I think last week I cried multiple times,

113
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 2: nothing to do with my life, just touching stories.

114
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:46,120
Speaker 1: Or touching moments, making beautiful thank you.

115
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:46,440
Speaker 5: Yeah.

116
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 2: But now I'm like, it's not weakness. What a cool

117
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,839
Speaker 2: thing to cry.

118
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,480
Speaker 3: You're alive.

119
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm alive, and I'm feeling things.

120
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,400
Speaker 3: Right, and you're seeing people in your pets, yes, and my.

121
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,080
Speaker 2: Pet's And I'm thinking, then immediately I go, is that you?

122
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,160
Speaker 2: And they go, no, bitch walk away from me.

123
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,920
Speaker 3: Unless your grandmother was one to walk away.

124
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,560
Speaker 2: And then I was thinking, and I go, okay, I'm

125
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,159
Speaker 2: trying to remember was that her thing? And I don't

126
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 2: recall that figure. Okay, Okay, we were really close, But anyway, Randall,

127
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,440
Speaker 2: on this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who

128
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,040
Speaker 2: are old enough to be my dad. No offense, Randall,

129
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 2: no offense. I'm twelve, So I'm twelve and I have

130
00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,760
Speaker 2: this crazy career in life. Or men who are just

131
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,560
Speaker 2: dads themselves, you know, or people who are just dads themselves.

132
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,359
Speaker 2: I'm going to get to ask the questions I've always

133
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,640
Speaker 2: wanted to ask a dad, Like how do I know

134
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,080
Speaker 2: if the guy I'm dating is right for me?

135
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 1: What's the like dead giveaway?

136
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,120
Speaker 2: Or what should I look out for when I'm buying

137
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,760
Speaker 2: a car so I don't get bamboozled by the car salesman?

138
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,360
Speaker 2: Or can you teach me how to change my oil?

139
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 2: Could you teach me how to change my oil if

140
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,080
Speaker 2: we went outside right now?

141
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,880
Speaker 4: No, but I could take you to I could show

142
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 4: you where you can get your oil change from.

143
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,839
Speaker 1: A trustworthy person. I don't you don't even know that

144
00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:03,080
Speaker 1: there's they could tell you any number.

145
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 3: Right, I'm pretty much one of those.

146
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,479
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I will say this.

147
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,240
Speaker 2: Today I was talking to my friend and she was

148
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 2: talking about how she had a contractor come to her

149
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,440
Speaker 2: house or repairs a bunch of repairs regularly, and it

150
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,599
Speaker 2: was always like, oh, this is a really big problem.

151
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,239
Speaker 1: This is going to cost eight thousand dollars.

152
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,360
Speaker 2: And then someone overheard that conversation once and told her, like,

153
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,880
Speaker 2: you should reach out to my contractor.

154
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 1: Same problem.

155
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,440
Speaker 2: That new contractor comes and is like, oh, that'll be

156
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,200
Speaker 2: like I think three hundred and fifty bucks. Yeah, yeah,

157
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 2: Are you getting taken advantage of my contractors?

158
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,120
Speaker 4: Rand now, No, because I get a lot of estimates.

159
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,200
Speaker 4: Oh you do, okay, I always get.

160
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,279
Speaker 2: A lot of estimate okay, Henry David Thureau, Yes, okay,

161
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,120
Speaker 2: that's me. Therew spelled a different way, not French. I

162
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,600
Speaker 2: look up reviews a lot of everything. I feel like

163
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,600
Speaker 2: I won't make a decision without being like, what are

164
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 2: the people saying?

165
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's reviews, it's getting options okay, and it's the

166
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,240
Speaker 4: vibe okay.

167
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,840
Speaker 1: Vibe is big, Randall. Yeah, this is maybe basic, but

168
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 1: maybe not.

169
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,359
Speaker 2: And I'm not calling you basic now, but I've lately

170
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,520
Speaker 2: been like, oh, I can just go off of gut

171
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,599
Speaker 2: and energy and instinct.

172
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,920
Speaker 3: Vibe is big in everything.

173
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 1: Yes, but when did you learn that? By the way, Uh, well, I.

174
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,000
Speaker 4: Think it's different for different people too, though, because I

175
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,400
Speaker 4: think some people maybe they're there. I don't know, ability

176
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:25,040
Speaker 4: to feel and read. People can be easily compromised by whatever.

177
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,200
Speaker 4: But I think for me, I've always been pretty good

178
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,320
Speaker 4: at it, and I think I've gotten better as i've

179
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,000
Speaker 4: gotten older.

180
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is your sign? I'm an a and Aries,

181
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,800
Speaker 2: which is hold on. I'm always like, I'm not into

182
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 2: astrology because I once knew nothing about it. But then

183
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,080
Speaker 2: I'll be like, now i still say that thing, but

184
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I am into it, but I'm still

185
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 2: owning that I'm a Pisces. So I know, Aries is

186
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,640
Speaker 2: you're like late March April, right, this is cool. This

187
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,880
Speaker 2: is growth for me because I once knew nothing about it.

188
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,880
Speaker 2: But that means you're like a little fiery, right. You

189
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,200
Speaker 2: don't seem fire.

190
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,480
Speaker 4: No, I'm not, but I think inside that there's a

191
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,360
Speaker 4: fire and there.

192
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:14,000
Speaker 3: I think aries are passionate, their.

193
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:20,640
Speaker 4: Leadership skills involved there somewhere. Yes, and yeah, it's like

194
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:21,600
Speaker 4: the first sign.

195
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:26,000
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, yeah, Randall, we've worked together once, we

196
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,120
Speaker 2: met another time at a conference. I do feel like

197
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,319
Speaker 2: if I was in a situation where it was like apocalypse, yes,

198
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 2: and I saw you out in the wild, yes, and

199
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:37,800
Speaker 2: there were zombies or something.

200
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,360
Speaker 1: I feel like I would go like I can trust Randall.

201
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,520
Speaker 3: I really appreciate that.

202
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 2: I really mean, yeah, you've got a good spirit. See

203
00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:48,080
Speaker 2: my vibe says that your vibe is good, which is

204
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,400
Speaker 2: perfect because you're my dad for the day. You've seen

205
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,600
Speaker 2: my next guest, who I've spoken to at length already

206
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,480
Speaker 2: in Fresh off the Boat, Always Be My Maybe. I

207
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,400
Speaker 2: loved that and one of vision, which is not to

208
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,760
Speaker 2: say I didn't like the other two.

209
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,120
Speaker 1: It's okay, Oh boy, I'm really.

210
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,000
Speaker 3: Okay.

211
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,880
Speaker 1: Please welcome my dad for the day, Randall Park.

212
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm so happy. How do you feel about

213
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:15,640
Speaker 3: the other two though?

214
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,080
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm so glad you asked fresh off the boat.

215
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 3: Just be honest.

216
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,199
Speaker 2: You're fishing, you're fresh off the boat, and you're fishing.

217
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,680
Speaker 2: I'm going to say I loved them all.

218
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,600
Speaker 3: You didn't watch it either, which is fine.

219
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,840
Speaker 1: I've actually never seen any of these. That's not true.

220
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,000
Speaker 1: That's not true. I love them all.

221
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:31,680
Speaker 3: I've seen.

222
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,400
Speaker 2: I've seen some of all. I've seen Always Be My Maybe,

223
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,319
Speaker 2: and I've seen.

224
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:35,559
Speaker 1: Some of all.

225
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,200
Speaker 3: That's the truth.

226
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:41,600
Speaker 2: You okay, Oh my goodness, I just started sweating. I

227
00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:45,079
Speaker 2: was sweating. No, Randall, I'm so glad you're here. This

228
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,839
Speaker 2: is a huge, gigantic honor, truly.

229
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,040
Speaker 3: Right back at you. Oh my goodness, I sit here

230
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,679
Speaker 3: with you and to be your dad the day for

231
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,120
Speaker 3: the day.

232
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,320
Speaker 1: This is cute for me.

233
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,040
Speaker 2: We have to start by talking about origin stories. Yes, yes,

234
00:09:59,200 --> 00:09:59,760
Speaker 2: what was your.

235
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,680
Speaker 3: Dad like my dad was?

236
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,360
Speaker 4: And I say it was because he just passed away recent, yeah,

237
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 4: a few months ago.

238
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,360
Speaker 3: But he was a I think on the outside, a very.

239
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,960
Speaker 4: I won't say stereotypical dad, but he was kind of

240
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,520
Speaker 4: that stoic Asian father, you know, like he didn't he

241
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:25,280
Speaker 4: wasn't big into conversation. He was, yes, man a few words.

242
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 4: He worked very hard, very hard. He loved his family

243
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,959
Speaker 4: so much, particularly his two sons and my brother. And

244
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,559
Speaker 4: it wouldn't he wouldn't tell us that he loved us. Sure,

245
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 4: but he we just knew it. We just knew it,

246
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,680
Speaker 4: and we would and you know, people would, people who

247
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 4: were around him would always tell us how much he

248
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,679
Speaker 4: loved his boys and how he would brag about us

249
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,360
Speaker 4: and something that I never was privy to.

250
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but you could feel that love in action, right. Yes,

251
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,480
Speaker 2: I'm presuming I say this because I introduced to my

252
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,440
Speaker 2: nuclear family. I don't want to speak for the rest

253
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,760
Speaker 2: of my family saying I love you. I heard a

254
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 2: song in college, and this, again I'm judging myself, sounds basic.

255
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,240
Speaker 2: But I heard a song in college and I actually

256
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,079
Speaker 2: going to say what the song was. I was reticent

257
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,080
Speaker 2: to say the song because everyone hates this person now,

258
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:26,320
Speaker 2: but it was Kanye West. I think Big Brother by Kanye.

259
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 1: Our graduation is about jaz.

260
00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,240
Speaker 2: For j Z, a great song, but he said people

261
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,320
Speaker 2: never get the flowers while they can still smell them.

262
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,800
Speaker 2: So I don't know if it was necessarily right after college.

263
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 2: I could have been in college. I'm anywhere from like

264
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,600
Speaker 2: nineteen to twenty two, and I hear that and I go, oh, yeah,

265
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,640
Speaker 2: that is an insane way to live. And I know

266
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,199
Speaker 2: my mom loves me. I feel it in action. I'm

267
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,920
Speaker 2: so provided for, I feel so protected by her.

268
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,600
Speaker 1: But why don't we say it so that we can

269
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:55,400
Speaker 1: be sure.

270
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's nice to hear it, and so I

271
00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,920
Speaker 2: take responsibility for introducing that.

272
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,920
Speaker 3: Yeah that's beautiful, that's beautiful. Yeah yeah, did.

273
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,960
Speaker 1: Your mom say I love you? Was she wanted to say?

274
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,080
Speaker 3: She didn't when we were real little growing up.

275
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,920
Speaker 4: But I would say, once we started to get out

276
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,800
Speaker 4: of the house and you know, we were going to

277
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,320
Speaker 4: college and stuff, she would say it, yeah, yeah, and

278
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,160
Speaker 4: we would say it back.

279
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,680
Speaker 1: What do you think that was a function of that?

280
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 2: Like when you were little, you didn't hear it from her,

281
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 2: but like the older you got and you were out

282
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,120
Speaker 2: of the.

283
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,800
Speaker 3: House, do you think it's just cultural? You know, I

284
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,840
Speaker 3: think it's just cultural.

285
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,040
Speaker 4: And my you know, both of my parents are immigrants

286
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,760
Speaker 4: that came here, my dad in the late sixties, my

287
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,120
Speaker 4: mom in the early seventies, and and it just wasn't

288
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:40,080
Speaker 4: something I guess in their mind needed to be expressed

289
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,440
Speaker 4: because it was just it was what it was.

290
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:42,920
Speaker 3: You know.

291
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 1: Then they just yeah, and you knew and then yeah.

292
00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,360
Speaker 4: But growing up as a kid, it was like I

293
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,560
Speaker 4: didn't know, you know, I was just like, yeah, you know,

294
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,120
Speaker 4: why can't they view like my friend's parents, you.

295
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,360
Speaker 1: Know, where did the immigrate from?

296
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 3: Just for clarity, from Korea?

297
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 1: From Korea.

298
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,400
Speaker 2: I feel a lot of that too, where you go

299
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,800
Speaker 2: when you're younger. I don't know if this is accurate

300
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,640
Speaker 2: to say. The sense I get is we're like in

301
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:07,280
Speaker 2: a time where first gen or second gen people whose

302
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,720
Speaker 2: families are from different cultures. But living in the States,

303
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,760
Speaker 2: I feel like there's an embrace of our identity in

304
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 2: a way. Now, yes, yes, was not reflected when we

305
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,160
Speaker 2: were younger. I think when we were younger, we were

306
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,320
Speaker 2: trying to assimilate to like I just want to be

307
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:25,880
Speaker 2: like everyone else. Sure, yeah, I resonate with that so

308
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,040
Speaker 2: so much. Now you said your dad like really loved his.

309
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,520
Speaker 1: Boys, right, really loved his boys. Did you have sisters?

310
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,560
Speaker 4: No, No, just just the two because.

311
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,800
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my goodness, the girls must have

312
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,480
Speaker 2: felt left, but no, no they did.

313
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,480
Speaker 1: They were no girls.

314
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:40,160
Speaker 3: Okay, girl.

315
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,480
Speaker 1: Now you said on the outside he seemed one way.

316
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,720
Speaker 2: What's the sense you got of him on the inside, Like, yes,

317
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,320
Speaker 2: really loved his boys.

318
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,200
Speaker 3: Really really loved these boys, really really proud of us.

319
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:54,720
Speaker 4: But you know, wasn't overly excitable about our achievements. You know,

320
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,199
Speaker 4: it's just like what was very strict in terms of

321
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:03,360
Speaker 4: just like education, education, education, you know, very kind of dependable,

322
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,640
Speaker 4: and you know he was he was a great dad.

323
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,439
Speaker 4: He was, Yeah, just a real real great dad. I

324
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,880
Speaker 4: wouldn't say in the traditional sense. You know, it wasn't

325
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,880
Speaker 4: like he you know, threw a baseball with us or anything.

326
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:14,960
Speaker 1: We are we coming up with that?

327
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,360
Speaker 2: You know, sorry, I said, because this is part of

328
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,320
Speaker 2: what I want to have the podcast. I'm like, we

329
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 2: have TV dads, yes, And I guess some people do

330
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 2: actually have TV dads, but it doesn't seem like many

331
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 2: people do or did.

332
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:27,880
Speaker 1: What do you feel about that?

333
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:28,720
Speaker 3: What do you mean in.

334
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 2: Terms of the like throwing the baseball in the doing

335
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,400
Speaker 2: those things, people's dads are a little more for sure.

336
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 1: I don't know.

337
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 3: I don't know.

338
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,240
Speaker 4: I felt like my growing up in La I had

339
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,880
Speaker 4: a very diverse set of friends, and I would say

340
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,720
Speaker 4: a lot of my white friends, they, at least in

341
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 4: my head growing up, their dads were so much like

342
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 4: the TV dads, you know, like yeah, And I'd always

343
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,160
Speaker 4: be like, why can't my dad be more like them?

344
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 3: You know, why can't my mom be more like their moms?

345
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:58,480
Speaker 3: You know?

346
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 4: But it now that I'm older, I just have a

347
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 4: totally different perspective on it. You know, they were they

348
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,360
Speaker 4: loved us just as much, and they and they sacrificed

349
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:15,960
Speaker 4: just as much, you know, and if not, if not more?

350
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, being immigrants and and and learning a language

351
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,160
Speaker 5: and and somehow finding work and making a living and

352
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,800
Speaker 5: U and you know, my.

353
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 4: Dad was he he worked in he had a one

354
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000
Speaker 4: hour photo store.

355
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, for for many many years.

356
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 4: And and uh and then after that he worked at

357
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,400
Speaker 4: a souvenir shop on Hollywood Boulevard.

358
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,400
Speaker 1: Oh really did he ever retire?

359
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 3: He did?

360
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,320
Speaker 4: He did shortly before he passed. Oh really, yeah, I

361
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 4: mean he was he just he was a worker. He

362
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 4: just loved to work.

363
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 1: He loves to work. Do you think he was passionate

364
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,040
Speaker 1: about his work.

365
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,440
Speaker 4: I think his passionate about his family, you know, so

366
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,440
Speaker 4: like the work wasn't you know, probably like you know,

367
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,000
Speaker 4: I don't know what his dream job was. That was

368
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,280
Speaker 4: never like a question that we had. But he's human.

369
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 4: I'm sure he at some point he had a dream job. Sure,

370
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 4: he had a dream life, and I don't think that

371
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 4: was the life he necessarily led.

372
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,240
Speaker 3: But he did have his dream family.

373
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that's incredible.

374
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

375
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,280
Speaker 2: You said he emphasized education for you guys. Yes, yes,

376
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 2: and now Randall, you're an actor, yes, yes, which you

377
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 2: don't necessarily have to go to school for I can relate. Right,

378
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: What was that conversation like, telling him that you wanted

379
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 2: to be an actor?

380
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 3: It was, well, it came later.

381
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 4: So I was when I was at UCLA I kind

382
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 4: of discovered writing and acting, and and out of college,

383
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 4: I kept doing it kind of on the side for fun,

384
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 4: but I was working these full time jobs, and at

385
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 4: a certain point in my mid to later twenties, I

386
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 4: decided that I wanted to do this professionally. And I

387
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 4: did bring bring it up to them pretty early, maybe

388
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 4: like mid twenties, and.

389
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,680
Speaker 3: Both of my parents were like, what are.

390
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 1: You talking about?

391
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you? Are you insane?

392
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 2: Our son has lost his mind At UCLA they put

393
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,000
Speaker 2: something in the water.

394
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 1: Yeah he's talking crazy.

395
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,000
Speaker 4: Yes, they were, and you know, and now I see

396
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,440
Speaker 4: it from their side because I was a shy kid.

397
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

398
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 3: I was not like a performer.

399
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

400
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,959
Speaker 4: I was very much like that kid who would, you know,

401
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,120
Speaker 4: be really quiet in the corner, you know. So they

402
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,120
Speaker 4: never saw that side of me that was flourishing.

403
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 3: At college, you know. Yeah, And.

404
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 4: So they just thought I was crazy and really really

405
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,600
Speaker 4: were adamantly against it.

406
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: Did they seem worried once you started to go down that.

407
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:09,359
Speaker 4: Path, Yes, but they didn't really know. I didn't tell them, Okay, so.

408
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 2: You brought it to them and then they had their

409
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,719
Speaker 2: reaction to it, which was like, what the heck are

410
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,919
Speaker 2: you talking about? And they're like, maybe I'm not going

411
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,360
Speaker 2: to talk to you guys about yes, and I don't.

412
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,200
Speaker 4: And I say it was just once when I brought

413
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,160
Speaker 4: it to them, but I probably brought it up numerous

414
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 4: times over the course of you know, a year or something,

415
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 4: and every time, you know, the reaction was the same, yes,

416
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 4: and if not even more you know, adamant over time,

417
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 4: you right, right. So so at a certain point, I

418
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,880
Speaker 4: was like, if I were to do this, yeah, I

419
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,679
Speaker 4: can't lean on them for support because they're gonna you know,

420
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 4: express their you know, disdain, yeah, disdain for it, and

421
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 4: then it's gonna discourage me from you know. And I

422
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,679
Speaker 4: was very sensitive and I kind of needed as much

423
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 4: of a support system as possible. So so I just

424
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,000
Speaker 4: went after it without them knowing.

425
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, did you think they that's something they

426
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 2: did want you to do?

427
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know, that was the thing, doctor Lawyer.

428
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 2: I just asked to be sure, you know, for our listener,

429
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: who might not be privy. In my mind, I'm like,

430
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 2: I know, I know it's doctor Lawyer was engineer.

431
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,960
Speaker 1: Even an option engineer.

432
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 3: I mean, that would have been fantastic.

433
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 2: Okay, great, Okay, did your brother go into something in

434
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: that world?

435
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 1: Okay, what is your brother to make?

436
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 4: He works in an optometrist office. Okay, yeah, okay, but

437
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 4: he's not an optometrist. And so so, you know, neither

438
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 4: of us really did exactly what they want.

439
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 2: And me, especially right when our parents emigrate to the States,

440
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 2: it's like, what's the American dream?

441
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 1: They have an idea of it, and I go.

442
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 2: Ah, but coming to the Western world also means your

443
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 2: kids learn about the pursuit of happiness.

444
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: And then the passion.

445
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and it's not exactly what you think it is.

446
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think they want us to be happy, Yes,

447
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 3: for sure. Idea of happy.

448
00:19:55,840 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 4: Is financial stabilitability and respect from the community and you know,

449
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 4: doctor a doctor.

450
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

451
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,719
Speaker 3: And it took me a while to realize that.

452
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 4: I thought at the time they just don't want me

453
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 4: to pursue my dreams for whatever reason, you know. But

454
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 4: really they were concerned because they knew how difficult, especially

455
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 4: my mom.

456
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 3: Because my mom worked at u c l A.

457
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 4: And she saw all these you know, kids fresh out

458
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 4: of college who wanted to pursue acting, and she saw

459
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 4: how difficult it was for them, so she knew, you know,

460
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 4: And I remember it. One time she even showed me

461
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 4: like one of her I guess a young person who

462
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 4: worked in our office was trying to be an actor

463
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 4: and he had an acting reel and she she showed

464
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 4: it to me and and she was and she was like,

465
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 4: this guy is so handsome, he's so talented.

466
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 3: Look at his real you know.

467
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 4: And I think it was her way of discouraging me,

468
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 4: because she was like, you're not like him, You're not handsome. Yeah,

469
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,199
Speaker 4: it was just trying to be like, you're ugly, my

470
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 4: logly son, and look at this guy. Yeah, and he's having.

471
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 3: A hard time.

472
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see what you're saying. My mom actually bought

473
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 2: a VHS. Okay, so my brother, who is not a

474
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: football player now but is a spine surgeon, wanted to

475
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 2: play football. That like I'm going to place him like

476
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,679
Speaker 2: ten years old. He wanted to be a football player.

477
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 2: And even if it wasn't like I want to do

478
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 2: that professionally, it's like that's the sport I want to play.

479
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 1: I'm drawn to that.

480
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 2: My mom bought a VHS tape of the greatest injuries

481
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 2: in NFL history. I remember that being in our VHS

482
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 2: collection and her just being like, yeah, I bought this

483
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 2: to discourage him playing. I mean, he still went on

484
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: to play, and he walked on in college. But I

485
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 2: was like, the notion that you'd be like, that's what

486
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,199
Speaker 2: you want to do. I don't want you to go

487
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: down that path. Everything dark and yeah about that.

488
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 4: Well, one thing I remember my mom doing was we say,

489
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 4: we just said. This was like during that year period

490
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 4: where I'd bring it up to her, you know, she

491
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 4: sat me down in front of the TV and it

492
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 4: was just like, let's wait for the first Asian face.

493
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 1: Oh savage and also.

494
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 4: At that time and yeah, and we you know, it

495
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 4: was like I don't even remember, I don't even think

496
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 4: we saw one, you know, And it was like she

497
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 4: was like, that's my point.

498
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 1: Of course.

499
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 2: Of course, there's no model for it, and there's nothing

500
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 2: linear about it. So you can't say to them, hey,

501
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this, this and this, and it's

502
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,239
Speaker 2: going to lead to this the way like going to

503
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,239
Speaker 2: medical school, it's takes step one, step two, and then

504
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 2: at the end of those steps, I'm here.

505
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 3: That's right.

506
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 2: I just can't say that, and all that uncertainty is

507
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 2: not not something that would put one's mind at ease.

508
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and those first you know, that first decade plus,

509
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,199
Speaker 3: it was like, oh my god, they're right. Yeah, this

510
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 3: is so hard.

511
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

512
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: And you didn't take any of your challenges to them

513
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: then because you're like, I don't want them to feel

514
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 2: like they're right and I don't.

515
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 3: Want to be discouraged and I want to hear and

516
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 3: I told you so yeh.

517
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 2: God no, yeah, so much of that resonates with me.

518
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 2: Do you feel like there were things you could talk

519
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,640
Speaker 2: to your dad about where it's like Mom is good

520
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: to talk to about this thing.

521
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: Dad is really good for this.

522
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 3: Thing with my dad, Mom, not really, not really, you know,

523
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 3: it was it was very I don't know, we just

524
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 3: talked about kind of the day, and you know, it

525
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 3: wasn't like there weren't like deep personal kind of things

526
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 3: that I felt like I could bring to him, right,

527
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 3: you know, right? Yeah, that was more my mom.

528
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

529
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: And when you were like pursuing acting and feeling discouraged

530
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 2: and feeling frustrated and knowing you couldn't take it to

531
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 2: your parents and knowing like, okay, Dad and I are

532
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,640
Speaker 2: not going to have some deep conversation. Were there other

533
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: male figures in your life with whom you did think

534
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 2: you could have those sorts of conversations.

535
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

536
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I was doing theater, I was

537
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 4: doing stand up for a long time.

538
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: I was doing sketch and improv, and so I had like.

539
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 4: A community of fellow actors who I really depended on

540
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 4: and who I got a lot of encouragement from. Yeah,

541
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 4: but also like teachers at acting school classes, I was

542
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 4: always in and I had teachers who were who very

543
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 4: much serve that purpose.

544
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

545
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: Does anyone stand out in particular, teachers wise?

546
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 3: Teachers wise? Oh gosh, yeah, yeah, there were, there were

547
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 3: a few.

548
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 4: But there was a there's a school out here in

549
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 4: La run by this guy named John Rosenfeld who I

550
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 4: was with for years.

551
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: I know that name.

552
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're being a young actor pursuing trying to find

553
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: an acting classroom.

554
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, And I really enjoyed his class and got

555
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: a lot from that experience.

556
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, was there like a moment you can remember though,

557
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: when you go, I feel like my dad is proud

558
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 2: of what it is I'm pursuing, So.

559
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: Like you're pursuing it behind their back.

560
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're facing your own challenges, but you have the

561
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 2: community around you. Yeah, is there a moment where it's

562
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 2: like I would say what you're doing on your own

563
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 2: connects to your family life, and they go, oh, we

564
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 2: know what he's up to, and we're proud.

565
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, think slowly that that happened slowly, Like like first

566
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 4: thing they would they saw me on a commercial, you know,

567
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 4: when they were like, oh that's that's that's cool.

568
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: Did you show it to them or did they No?

569
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 3: I did not show it to them.

570
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 1: You didn't they saw the commercial and that oh I.

571
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 4: Did not show it to them, Okay, yeah, And then

572
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 4: I would my name would pop up in the Korean

573
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 4: newspaper and that was like a big big deal.

574
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: It was that first like what jobs?

575
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 3: At first it was.

576
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 4: Like commercials and you know, and I was there was

577
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 4: a stretch when I was doing a ton of commercials.

578
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 2: I could never book a commercial to save my life.

579
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 2: It was so crazy because everyone was like commercials, that's

580
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 2: your foray into this thing, and that I should draw

581
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: my eyebrows onto aggressively, and looking back at pictures, I go, oh, yeah,

582
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: those eyebrows are very off putting. I think it was

583
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 2: the eyebrows.

584
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 4: Honestly, that's a great energy that I would buy stuff

585
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: off of it.

586
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 2: Thank you, Randall, I thank you. This is the kind

587
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 2: of stuff I want to hear from a dad. Yes, yes,

588
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: I really And.

589
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: Looking back, I go, what was it?

590
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: Because all my friends were booked commercial and it's how

591
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 2: people were like subsidizing their life, pursuing acting to get

592
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 2: in TV and film, and it just could not happen

593
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 2: for me. And I ended up looking at a cholesterol

594
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 2: medication commercial nine years into my time in LA, months

595
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 2: before I got SNL air that did air, and it

596
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 2: was airing while I was on SNL, and I remember

597
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 2: someone tweeted at me, like, are you in a cholesterol

598
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,199
Speaker 2: medication commercial?

599
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 4: I mean those could potentially keep going so long and

600
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 4: it takes for my life.

601
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 2: It was like little six figure Mama. That year, I

602
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I broke for the first time.

603
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 1: So there were commercials and then what was.

604
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 4: And then they saw that I was, like you just said,

605
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 4: not broke for the first time. They saw that I

606
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 4: was making a living, that I was like eating like

607
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 4: healthy food for one now and taking care of myself

608
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 4: a little better, and I think they slowly started to

609
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 4: kind of be okay with yes.

610
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 2: And they're not saying it, but you're noticing them ease

611
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 2: up around the top. I guess my guess, yes, for sure,

612
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 2: for sure. Did you have to borrow money from your

613
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: parents during your pursuit?

614
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 3: I did early, early on.

615
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 1: Can you help paint that picture for me?

616
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: Is this like they know you're pursuing it, or do

617
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 2: you tell them like I need to borrow money because

618
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 2: like my job's direct deposit didn't hit well.

619
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 4: There were periods where I would lose a job and

620
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 4: be unemployed, and I'd have a share an apartment with somebody,

621
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 4: and you know, and I would need help and they

622
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 4: would like, help me out.

623
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: There's a job, like an acting job, or like a

624
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 1: day job, a day job.

625
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 4: Got yeah, okay, And then there was a period where

626
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 4: I would move back home, so they helped me in

627
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 4: that way, you know. Yeah, And there was you know,

628
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 4: into my thirties, I was living with my parents.

629
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 2: I was just going to ask you, how old were

630
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 2: you when you were maybe like still living at home?

631
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, into thirties.

632
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: Hard to pursue a career in this There are harder things.

633
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 1: I know.

634
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 2: I'm not going to pretend it's the hardest thing in

635
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,360
Speaker 2: the world, but it is.

636
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: Such a peculiar path to pursue.

637
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 4: It is, I think statistically, I mean, it's got to

638
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 4: be one of the hard jobs to make a living act,

639
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 4: just because so many people want to do it.

640
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,159
Speaker 2: So many people and so few jobs, especially at the

641
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 2: time you're pursuing. I'm not trying to age you again, guys, Randles,

642
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: what you're thirty seven now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you

643
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: know you don't want to say you.

644
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 3: Really in my early thirties, thirties, Randall, you look great,

645
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 3: you so much?

646
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 2: Okay, So they wouldn't help subsidize your life, say you

647
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 2: lost a day job or you have to move back

648
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: and was moving back in with your family.

649
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: How did that feel for them?

650
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 3: They loved it.

651
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: That's what I think.

652
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 2: If I told my mom today that I was I

653
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 2: need to move back home into her house in Baltimore,

654
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: she wouldn't go, oh, I'm ashamed of my adult daughter.

655
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm just happy my daughter's home.

656
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 2: Like there's this like desire to have family totally.

657
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so they were happy, you know, whenever I'd

658
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 4: moved back, you know, and yeah. It always baffled me

659
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 4: when parents are like, you're you know, you're eighteen, you're

660
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 4: out of the house.

661
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you right now, not the Nigerian

662
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 2: experience either. It was like my mom just feels responsible

663
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: for me until the day she does.

664
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, absolutely, that's what it seems.

665
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: Like it would be. Now did your dad did you

666
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: ever get to see him upset?

667
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, okay, yeah, growing, like.

668
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: Crying upset when we talked about tears and me so crying.

669
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 4: Once once what was well, no, once from from like heartache,

670
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 4: just when his sister passed.

671
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 3: I saw it. I don't think I was supposed to

672
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 3: see it.

673
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: I saw wow. Yeah, it was it like in the room.

674
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 4: He was in the kitchen that you know, the door

675
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 4: was closed and I came in and he was he

676
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 4: was crying.

677
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 2: Did you retreat? What did you do in that moment?

678
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: Did you think, Okay, I don't think I'm spposed to

679
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 2: see this, I'm going to leave.

680
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 4: I think I, like, you know, put my hand on him,

681
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 4: and then and then I you know, yeah, and then I.

682
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 3: Let him be you know yeah. Yeah.

683
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 4: And then then many years later, I got I got

684
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 4: an Alumni of the Year award at U c L

685
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 4: And I invited my family and uh and I gave

686
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 4: the speech and then the speech, I really kind of

687
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 4: just thanked them, you know. Yeah, and and my dad

688
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 4: was was crying, I.

689
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: Have chose now.

690
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 2: I genuinely full body chills. That's beautiful. I think when

691
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 2: a parent gets to see their child accomplish want a dream,

692
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: especially if they're like, we're not into the whole dreamer

693
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: of it all. We want you to have stability, but

694
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 2: you got to accomplish your dream, and then to hear

695
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 2: their child express gratitude and say, you are such a

696
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 2: big part of this thing that I've got to do.

697
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 2: I can only imagine how that that's so cool.

698
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it was, really it was. That was a

699
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 4: really special experience. And then and then I was like

700
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 4: many years later, I did the commencement speech at UCLA

701
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 4: and my parents were there and they were both just

702
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 4: like so proud, and it was like it kind of

703
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 4: you know justified well for me, it justified you know,

704
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 4: kind of going after it despite their you know, being

705
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 4: against it.

706
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 3: But it also.

707
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 4: It also kind of honored the fact that they supported

708
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 4: me in a different way.

709
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 3: You know, they let me live in the house.

710
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 4: They let me you know, they let me borrow money,

711
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 4: They did all these things that allowed me to pursue

712
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 4: this dream even though they were really against me pursuing this.

713
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, But did you just even having this

714
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 2: new perspective as you accomplish the things you had hoped

715
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: to accomplish and they get to see you do that,

716
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: does it feel like a start difference from when you

717
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: were pursuing it in that you kind of would have

718
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: liked their support and more verbalized it.

719
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: Sounds like, did you feel resentment at that time?

720
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: Yeah? I did. I did.

721
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 4: I did feel resentment, and I think, you know, it

722
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 4: wasn't until you know, fresh off the boat actually really

723
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,479
Speaker 4: helped me kind of see things differently. And I think

724
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 4: it's in part because I played an immigrant father, you know,

725
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 4: but also I think finding some success and being able

726
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 4: to make a good living at it, you know, it

727
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 4: kind of took the pressure off me a little bit,

728
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 4: you know, And I think without that pressure, I was

729
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 4: able to understand them a little better. And I wasn't

730
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 4: in this kind of mode of just like just go

731
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 4: after it and block out any negativity, and you know,

732
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 4: I was just like a little more open to understand.

733
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: Go from having that tunnel vision of like I'm in

734
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 2: pursuit of this thing, and yeah, I can't hear negativity.

735
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: I have this one goal in mind. Fuck everything else.

736
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: You had to go. Okay, I can breathe, and I

737
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: could see.

738
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 2: The world a little more for what it is, and yeah,

739
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: it looks bigger. That's very very cool. But also I

740
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: went to college. I've don't sometimes I don't know how

741
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 2: to do this podcast, and I'm like, I kind of

742
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 2: touch on the same stories over and over again, and

743
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 2: I haven't touched on this one. But I feel like

744
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 2: I had a very like Lady Bird moment when I

745
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: got to college where I realized, like my mom was

746
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: just a human trying her best. Yeah, and you know,

747
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 2: I wanted my mom to be one way and she

748
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,719
Speaker 2: just wasn't that way. We got along well, but we

749
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 2: also butt heads a bit. It was very strange. We

750
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 2: were very close though, yes, but like when I realize, like, oh,

751
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: she's just trying her best, and oh my gods, she

752
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: gave me so many gifts and I'm so proud of

753
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 2: the morals she instilled in me.

754
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: And I wasn't aware that that's what she was doing.

755
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 2: But now that I'm out in the world and the

756
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 2: world is bigger and I'm meeting other people who grew

757
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: up in different households.

758
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, thank god you were instilling these values

759
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: in me. I don't know if it's a shame or

760
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,239
Speaker 1: it's just the way life is supposed to go.

761
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 2: That hindsight is twenty twenty, as they say, or that

762
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 2: you just have a new perspective the older you get.

763
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: Yes, because part.

764
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 2: Of me wishes that, like, while we're young, we go

765
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: I know what they're doing, They're just.

766
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 4: I know, I know, and you know that I do feel,

767
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 4: you know, because my dad recently passed, and I do

768
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 4: feel some guilt. You know that I wasn't a better son,

769
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 4: you know, and I wish I would have been there more.

770
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 4: And then you know, yeah, but at the same time,

771
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 4: it's you know, I know how much I meant to them,

772
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 4: and I know how much they mean to me and

773
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 4: my dad, and you know, I have always loved my dad.

774
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

775
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 2: And it's also like you hear like people speak about

776
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 2: love languages, and we were like, my dad was not

777
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: going to say I.

778
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: Love you while we were young.

779
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: That that just wasn't something I was going to experience

780
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 2: from him.

781
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 1: But he showed his love in other ways.

782
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: I really think love languages people they really do matter,

783
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: and if you have to be able to interpret someone

784
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 2: else's language and receive.

785
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 1: It for what it is.

786
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know, hearing the words I love you,

787
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 4: it's wonderful, you know, and beautiful. But it's easy to

788
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,760
Speaker 4: say that. It's easy. But if you can speak, you can.

789
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 2: Say, you can say it, and you can all say

790
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 2: it and it doesn't oh my gosh. A lot of

791
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 2: I've had people say it to me and Randall, you know,

792
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 2: some of my.

793
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: Stories of your stories, I've had people say it to.

794
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: Me, and you go, yes, it's maybe not easy to

795
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 2: say if you try to be sincere and your feelings

796
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 2: and your words are integrated and you're trying to say

797
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 2: things you mean, and things can feel uncomfortable, yes, vulnerable,

798
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 2: But it is a thing like if you can talk,

799
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: you can say I love you.

800
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: But love is, as they say.

801
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 2: A verb, yes, yes, and it's an action that you

802
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 2: experience and show love in reality.

803
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what.

804
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 4: The interesting thing about I feel like about my life,

805
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 4: at least in one way, is that you know, I

806
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 4: have a daughter and she's twelve now, and she's so

807
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 4: crazy about her, like she is my everything, and she's

808
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:27,720
Speaker 4: on the autism spectrum, and her verbal communication is very limited,

809
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 4: you know, and so it's not like we can even

810
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 4: have that kind of communicative exchange that I always long

811
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 4: for as a kid with my parents. You know, I

812
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 4: can't have that with my daughter. But I also I

813
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 4: don't care. I just know how I feel about her.

814
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 4: I know I'm always going to be there for her.

815
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 4: I know she loves me. She does not to say it,

816
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 4: I just know she does. And you know, and I

817
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 4: feel like that's like a lesson for me in my

818
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 4: life based on my upbringing but also my daughter's upbringing.

819
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 4: It's like, you know, the words are important, but you

820
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 4: know it's it's really just the actions and the feeling

821
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:10,760
Speaker 4: and the intention.

822
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 3: And what's in your heart. You know that that's what really.

823
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: Matters, right.

824
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't want to put words in your mouth,

825
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: but it seems like to becoming a father for you

826
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 2: did give you a whole new perspective about your relationship

827
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 2: with your father and the.

828
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: Kind of dad he was. Yeah, and it took that

829
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 1: to do it, like really to really.

830
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 3: Work for sure.

831
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I think having a kid, definitely being

832
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 4: a TV dad fresh off the boat was like, I

833
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 4: mean that it happened around the same time, like when

834
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 4: we when we had our kid. But but it really

835
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 4: was being a father myself that gave me that perspective.

836
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really remarkable. Now you have your own daughter,

837
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 2: you have your own family. Now you're the dad. You

838
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 2: are a father, you're her father, you're my father. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah,

839
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 2: What did your father instill in you you that you

840
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 2: now employ or would like to instill in your daughter.

841
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 4: Well, one thing about my dad was that he was

842
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 4: very It's very interesting because after he passed away, you know,

843
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 4: you go through your father's stuff, you know, and you know,

844
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 4: and for some people it's this daunting task because there's

845
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 4: just so much stuff to go through, you know, paperwork

846
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 4: and bills and you know, but also possessions, things that

847
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 4: they owned, you know, and you learn about your parents

848
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 4: from the things that they collect, you know. And my

849
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 4: dad had nothing, hardly anything. He had very few possessions,

850
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 4: you know, just a few things. It was, you know,

851
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 4: and it was really surprising to me because I thought

852
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 4: he had more things. All the things that he like

853
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 4: had and coveted were things that I gave him as

854
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 4: gifts after I became more successful, and he loved those things,

855
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 4: but that was like it you know. And uh, and

856
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 4: that was something that he instilled in me in the

857
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,959
Speaker 4: sense that it's like things are great, yes, and it's

858
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 4: fun to have things, but they don't they're not that important,

859
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 4: you know.

860
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 3: And he was very much one to keep his world

861
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 3: very small. You know. He's just his his family, you know.

862
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 4: He he did have some friends that he saw, went

863
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 4: to work, worked hard, came back home, you know. Was

864
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 4: he had a very kind of simple approach to life.

865
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 4: And and I think that's something that I take with

866
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 4: me all the time. And that's something that I want

867
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 4: to instill in and Ruby, you know, just to to

868
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 4: you know, what matters most are the things around you,

869
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 4: the people around you, you know, the neighbors, the community

870
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 4: or you know, your friends and and and us you know,

871
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 4: and and there will always be love there, you know.

872
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 4: And every else is great and fun and do it. Yes,

873
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 4: pursue what you want to pursue. Yeah, but it's not everything.

874
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: It's beautiful. That's really beautiful. Now, did you have a

875
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 2: sense of that before you had gone through his things,

876
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: that that was something that he really valued.

877
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 3: I did have a sense of that, Yeah, I did.

878
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 4: But seeing it, you know, like literally like accounting for

879
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 4: like his things was really kind of eye opening.

880
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really eye opening.

881
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 4: And also seeing as far as like his bank account,

882
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 4: and I mean both of my parents did not have

883
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 4: a lot of money.

884
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, they.

885
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 4: They really gave us this great life with very little.

886
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeahs remarkable, it really is.

887
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

888
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 2: You said he worked up until pretty close to the

889
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 2: time he died.

890
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: As well, Now.

891
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 2: That you've made it, you have money, you've achieved success.

892
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 2: Were you trying to get him to retire? Did you

893
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 2: want to pay for and subsidize his life?

894
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: Yeah?

895
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 2: The way they had helped with yours? What was that relationship?

896
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 4: I mean I did, I liked help them pay off

897
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 4: the house and put my dad at a car and

898
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 4: you know, and and I did give them things, But

899
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 4: but I I knew how much working was just like

900
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 4: a part of who he was.

901
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

902
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 4: So yeah, none of us in the family were like,

903
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 4: let's tell him to stop and relax, you know, like,

904
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 4: because that just wasn't him, you know.

905
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when he when he.

906
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 4: Did get sick and he did end up leaving that job,

907
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 4: we kind of knew that was the beginning of something,

908
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 4: you know.

909
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, because he was a worker. He loved to.

910
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: Work, yeah, said before.

911
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: You know, in terms of retirement, so many of my

912
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 2: first gen friends and even myself, I'm like, parents do

913
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: not have retirement funds. Yeah, and it's like what they

914
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,879
Speaker 2: know is to work. Yeah.

915
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 1: And I think my mom even dabbled with retirement. And

916
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: then it was like, I go.

917
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: You seem more alive when you work for her. That's

918
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 2: whether she likes it, that's my thought or not. I

919
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 2: just go, oh, you just seem more yourself to me.

920
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: And that can sound I don't want that to be misconstrued,

921
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 2: but I'm like, you just seem more yourself and more

922
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 2: gregarious and such when you're working, and seeing you dabble

923
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: with retirement, I go, I don't even know if that

924
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 2: quite suits you.

925
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

926
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 4: I think for my dad, like a big kind of

927
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 4: part of his identity was being a provider, you know,

928
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 4: And so I think in that sense, like work was

929
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 4: it was a part of who he was, you know.

930
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 3: I mean, my mom is retired and she loves it.

931
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's just like very yeah, yeah, it depends

932
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: on the person. But then you know, if that was

933
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 2: like such a part of his identity, I see how

934
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: he would be like, I'm going to keep doing this

935
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: as long as I can and I have the energy.

936
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 1: To do it.

937
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, that's right. Yeah.

938
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,439
Speaker 1: So did you know you always wanted to be a dad?

939
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 3: Not necessarily, not until I met my wife?

940
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, all right, and then you go, I want

941
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 1: to I want to have a family with this. Yeah.

942
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 4: Well we thought. We both were like, if it happens,

943
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 4: that'll be great. If it doesn't, that'll be great too.

944
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 1: Okay.

945
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 4: It wasn't like we had to become parents, you know,

946
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 4: and it wasn't like we like, uh, had to really try.

947
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 4: We were just like, if it happens, great, great, right yeah,

948
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 4: And then it happened.

949
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: And then it happened, And were you nervous, scared, excited?

950
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: Where were you?

951
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: All those things? All those things? Yeah, yeah, all those things.

952
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 4: It was you know, it kind of happened before the

953
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 4: work really started.

954
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 3: Coming for me, you know.

955
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 4: So we were we were still and we're both actors,

956
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:52,720
Speaker 4: my wife and actor.

957
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 3: So we were both like, we don't know if we

958
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 3: could afford this, you know.

959
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, we didn't know, and and.

960
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 3: But we were like, let's just this is life. Let's

961
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 3: let's live it.

962
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 4: And let's you know, see what happens, and she came

963
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 4: and she's the best and brought it brings us so

964
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 4: much joy all the time, you know, so so it.

965
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been such a blessing.

966
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

967
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,359
Speaker 2: Did you ever ask your parents for any advice with

968
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 2: Ruby in terms of being a parent to Ruby or not?

969
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:23,720
Speaker 1: Really?

970
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 3: Not really?

971
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: Okay, not really.

972
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 3: I mean my mom gave advice.

973
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna tell you one thing about Grandma's Yeah.

974
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 2: My mom also given all kinds of advice to my

975
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 2: brother and sister in law.

976
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 1: Advice, don't do that, do that, why are you doing that?

977
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: Give her that?

978
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 3: And whenever she would, I mean, it got for me,

979
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: it got I don't know, I bristled at it sometimes

980
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 3: because it felt like she every time she said it,

981
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 3: I had I'd interpret it as you're a bad parent

982
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 3: and do this. You know.

983
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 4: It was that that kind of Korean mom criticism, you know, Yeah,

984
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 4: I just had in my head.

985
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, you're able to say it made you bristle, Yeah,

986
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 2: But then did you know when you're bristling and then

987
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 2: like say, two minutes later, you're like, oh, it's because

988
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 2: I feel.

989
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: Like you're saying I'm a bad dad. Yeah, yeah, oh

990
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 1: you knew.

991
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, and I would tell her yeah.

992
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Yeah. How was your dad with Ruby?

993
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 2: Oh?

994
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 4: My god, it's crazy about her, crazy about her. Yeah,

995
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 4: And that's another thing that I'm just so happy about

996
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 4: that he got to see her grow, you know, and

997
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 4: even you know, up until his last days, he'd be

998
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 4: in the hospital and he could barely move, you know,

999
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 4: he could barely you know, open his eyes. But whenever

1000
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 4: she would come in the room, he would smile so big,

1001
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 4: and it was just like, really really really wonderful.

1002
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: When you talk about love and people showing love and

1003
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 2: being able to say it is one thing, but then

1004
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: being able to show it as another thing.

1005
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, there is case in point.

1006
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: Your your dad can't do much, say much, but it's

1007
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 2: like his whole spirit lights up in the room.

1008
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:08,240
Speaker 1: That's so cool.

1009
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really really beautiful.

1010
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,439
Speaker 2: That's really really cool. So, Okay, what kind of things

1011
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 2: do you and Ruby doing?

1012
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: Can I come?

1013
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm joking and I'm like I'm coming.

1014
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1015
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 3: Do you like pizza?

1016
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: I love pizza. I love eating random. Yes, I know

1017
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: that's problematic. I know this about you and Ruby okay,

1018
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: we would get a lot.

1019
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1020
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: What kind of pizza does Ruby like? Most just cheese?

1021
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:41,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, classic Gaplassic okay, very quick New York style.

1022
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,959
Speaker 1: She loves. Okay. Have you taken her to a deep

1023
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: dish place?

1024
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 3: Yes?

1025
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 1: And what she was not into it? I get it.

1026
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 2: It took me a long time to come around on

1027
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 2: deep dish. I love deep dish really off the bat, ye,

1028
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 2: off the bat. I went to Masa when I have

1029
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 2: Ecco Park, which is a deep dish place here, I think,

1030
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: let's say ten years ago, for the first time, and

1031
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 2: I was.

1032
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: Like, this is disgusting.

1033
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 2: But then I had to go back a second time

1034
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 2: and be like, you have to go in knowing that

1035
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 2: this is not going to be your thing. Crust pizza different. Yes,

1036
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 2: you have to go in understanding different.

1037
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: And then it's good.

1038
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's almost not a pizza in a way.

1039
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's it's like a bread a bread bowl.

1040
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1041
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 2: And then you go, okay, yes, that's that could be

1042
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 2: enjoyable too, love it.

1043
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: It's really really good.

1044
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1045
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 4: But she loves pizza. She loves you know, all the

1046
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 4: kid foods. Yeah, she loves She loves like noodles and

1047
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 4: like Asian food.

1048
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 2: You know, do you guys hit pine and Crane? Ever,

1049
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: she wouldn't, She wouldn't like piney Crane.

1050
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: I love pin and Crane is so good. But does

1051
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: she like Ramen?

1052
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 3: Then she loves her?

1053
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 2: Okay, so Ruby and I can go eat pizza together.

1054
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: I'll let her have Ramen on her own with you,

1055
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 2: because I don't think I care for Ramen, and I

1056
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 2: don't know some people.

1057
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 3: Who are very like Yes, yes.

1058
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 1: They're not the same, so let's be clear about that.

1059
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 4: But yeah, I know folks who have that exact same opinion,

1060
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 4: and I get it.

1061
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's something me and Ramen and don't. But there

1062
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 2: are things that I don't like that people just really love.

1063
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 2: And as a person who's a foodie, I'll go, well,

1064
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 2: I need to find a way to like that, because

1065
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 2: I feel like, if you're a foodie, you like this

1066
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 2: shit like this, such as olips. I've come to I've

1067
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 2: truly trained myself to like olips.

1068
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 4: So if you could train yourself to like something, yeah,

1069
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 4: you probably could potentially like everything.

1070
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: Right, potentially.

1071
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 2: Yes, you know what I don't like, And I don't

1072
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 2: think I'll ever come around on saffron, saffron.

1073
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Do you know like a

1074
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 4: saffron like rice dish?

1075
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 2: No, my gosh, immediately hard. No, I can taste it.

1076
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah.

1077
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 2: I went to a coffee shop in Oakland a few

1078
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 2: days ago and I got their signature shy, and I

1079
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 2: was like, can you tell me what's in it? Because

1080
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 2: I know you're best known for this, and they were like, oh, cardamoms, cinnamon.

1081
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 2: Everything sounded good, and then she goes saffron.

1082
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: I go, oh no.

1083
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 2: But then I was like, maybe i'll like it since

1084
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 2: everyone else does not safron. But the drink okay, And

1085
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 2: I go, I'm going to try it because it's got

1086
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: such great reviews. And I was like, I hate this beverage.

1087
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 2: I didn't take it back. I finished it.

1088
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:17,959
Speaker 1: I mean, but I didn't. I didn't exactly. I don't

1089
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: like this.

1090
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1091
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: She asked me how it was. I go, it's great, and.

1092
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:27,240
Speaker 2: I hated it. It's the truth doesn't matter. So you pizza.

1093
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 2: We're going to.

1094
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 4: Eat, I mean really all the kid foods. And we're

1095
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 4: trying to expand her palette.

1096
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: Okay.

1097
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 3: She's tough.

1098
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 2: She's like, I like what I like, and I respect

1099
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 2: that about her. Yes, what kind of dad would ruby say?

1100
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: You are?

1101
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:42,959
Speaker 3: Well?

1102
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 4: She wouldn't say because she's not right, but she would

1103
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 4: spiritually she would say, I'm probably a little too smothering

1104
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 4: because I just I'm so crazy about her.

1105
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 2: He's obsessed, carey, so obsessed with me, Dad, damn.

1106
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 4: So I'm always, you know, always giving her hugs always,

1107
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 4: you know.

1108
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 3: I guess in some ways helicoptery, you know, because I'm

1109
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,240
Speaker 3: always like worried. I just want her to be safe,

1110
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 3: you know.

1111
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: I would of the two of us, my wife and I,

1112
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 4: I would say I'm a little more strict.

1113
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: Okay, I was going to ask there's going to be

1114
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: a question. I have to know.

1115
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 4: I'm a little bit more of a disciplinarian, a little

1116
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 4: bit more kind of adamant about certain things, you know,

1117
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 4: like you can't be on the iPad.

1118
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 3: Too much, you can't, you know.

1119
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 4: And but but she would, I mean, she would know

1120
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 4: right off the bat that my dad loves me and

1121
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 4: it's crazy about me.

1122
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 2: Beautiful, that's beautiful and key. I'm like, you know, I

1123
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 2: did not have a helicopter, Dad. What's it when a

1124
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 2: helicopter is like not around helicopter.

1125
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: And you're like I think that's a helicop it's a bird.

1126
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 4: It's yeah, the helicopters in another another country.

1127
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 1: That's what I had.

1128
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I always wonder. I'm like, do people

1129
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 2: like their helicopter dads? When when they hear about how

1130
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 2: old people's dads are not present or are even quite

1131
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 2: stoic or do you use previously?

1132
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, they go, oh, I.

1133
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 2: Would take a helicopter dad over the one I have.

1134
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 2: But I do think the grass is always greener by.

1135
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 3: The way, Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

1136
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, she's getting to an age now

1137
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 4: where I think it's getting annoying a little bit.

1138
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 3: You know.

1139
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, You're like, I can't help I.

1140
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 1: Love this girl. That is very cool. Do you think

1141
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: you and your wife have other kids?

1142
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 3: Yes?

1143
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,839
Speaker 4: Okay, yes, but I would say I'm more I'm more

1144
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 4: all about my kid and you know, and I'm like,

1145
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 4: if someone has a baby, my wife wants to.

1146
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 3: Hold that baby.

1147
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: Okay's baby.

1148
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 3: I want to look at the baby.

1149
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got to make cases, but I.

1150
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 3: Do not want to hold the baby right fear Okay?

1151
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, what has been one of your scariest moments as

1152
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 2: a dad?

1153
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 3: Scariest moments as a dad.

1154
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, yeah, like young, when Ruby was young.

1155
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean.

1156
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 4: Maybe a couple of years ago, she broke her arm

1157
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 4: really bad. And when I was a kid around her

1158
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 4: age at that same time, I broke my arm and

1159
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 4: I remember my parents freaking out, like, yeah, she tripped

1160
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 4: over like a hose in our front yard and her

1161
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,360
Speaker 4: arm just four at her forearm just snap.

1162
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: Was the bone sticking out of the skin.

1163
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 4: It wasn't sticking clean out, but you could see it

1164
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 4: kind of.

1165
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 1: You could see it soaking through.

1166
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, And that was really scary and traumatic for me.

1167
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 4: But also, like you know, I don't know, I kind

1168
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 4: of clicked into kind of like you know, dad mode

1169
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 4: and like, Okay, we got to do this, We got

1170
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 4: to you gotta take her to the hospital.

1171
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, when that happened, What did you feel those

1172
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 2: parents are like, You're like, yes, this is scary, but

1173
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 2: I into dad mode. It gets she gets a scan

1174
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 2: and then a cast, and then the doctor told you

1175
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: all the things to do. What's your thought after not

1176
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: the worst of it is behind you, did you have

1177
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 2: any thoughts about it and did you feel like it

1178
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 2: reflected on you as a parent or anything like that.

1179
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 4: Well, I marveled at her, okay, because she was just

1180
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 4: so chill, And I was like, how can you be

1181
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 4: so chill?

1182
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you don't have to worry about Ruby so much.

1183
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: Was your age and this happened to me. I was

1184
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 3: crying so much.

1185
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 2: You know what they say, the guys are a little

1186
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 2: more dramatic than the girls, That's what they say.

1187
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 1: That's what you know.

1188
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 3: I was screaming.

1189
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 2: Have you heard about this experiment where they like simulate

1190
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 2: period cramps on men and then men are like, oh

1191
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 2: my god, are you handling and living your life like this?

1192
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: You're experiencing this or you're going to work?

1193
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe it.

1194
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 2: Okay, that's an experiment that's happened, and yeah, I believe it.

1195
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: Of course Ruby was cool. Yeah, she was just so cool,

1196
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 1: so chill.

1197
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 4: And the other thing was I felt a little guilt

1198
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 4: because I was on watch when the helicopter. Dad was

1199
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,240
Speaker 4: on watch when it happened.

1200
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: Not so helicopter.

1201
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:06,879
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1202
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1203
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 3: But also I don't know, I felt I felt very

1204
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 3: I felt a lot of gratitude too, oddly, you know,

1205
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 3: in that we you know, she had such a great

1206
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 3: doctor and and and and we were able to you know,

1207
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 3: kind of take care of her as a parent, would

1208
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 3: you know, like.

1209
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: Just the fact that we were able to do that

1210
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 4: simple thing and and such an you know, unusual kind

1211
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 4: not unusual because it happens a lot, but yeah, in

1212
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 4: such a specific type of circumstance, there was a little

1213
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 4: bit of oh, wow, we did it.

1214
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, so now you know you can you could probably

1215
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 2: handle anything as a dad.

1216
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 1: Frankly, in my mind, I'm like, Ruby broke her arm,

1217
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 1: you can handle it. Yeah.

1218
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's such a you know, little thing. It's

1219
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 4: like it happens to kids all the time. But but yeah,

1220
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 4: it was, it was. It was very jarring.

1221
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:58,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1222
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 2: I've asked a few people this, and I find it

1223
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 2: to be an interesting question, which is, guys, why I

1224
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 2: keep asking it?

1225
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: But do you care if Ruby or would you like

1226
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: Ruby to see.

1227
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 2: You as a friend at some point in her life?

1228
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:15,879
Speaker 3: No?

1229
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, not necessarily, but I do want her to

1230
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 4: feel comfortable enough with us to come to us at

1231
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 4: any time with anything.

1232
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 2: You know.

1233
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, and sometimes there is a delineation between what you

1234
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 4: can bring to your parents and what you could bring

1235
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 4: to your friends.

1236
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 3: I knew that growing up, right, you just kind of know.

1237
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't even know how you come to know.

1238
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, where You're like, some friends are the type to

1239
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 2: talk to their parents just growing up about all their boyfriends.

1240
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, well, I.

1241
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 2: Didn't have those, but also if I did, I would

1242
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 2: not I'm like, I'm not going to come talk to

1243
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 2: my mom.

1244
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but you just kind of know which.

1245
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 3: And I want her to feel like she could if

1246
00:54:59,040 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 3: she needed to.

1247
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 4: But I'm also okay with her having her life, yes,

1248
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 4: and her her secrets and her experiences, you know, as

1249
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 4: long as like she knows when she's not safe, feeling

1250
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 4: not safe or feeling sad or you know that that

1251
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 4: were there.

1252
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1253
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, with your parents and your dad specifically, did you

1254
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 2: feel like you did have to keep secrets from them?

1255
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 2: Like you obviously mentioned secrets, I'm like, oh yeah, and

1256
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 2: I know the career pursuit was one of them. But

1257
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 2: there were other things.

1258
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 3: I'm not bringing yeah, oh yeah, like you know, just

1259
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 3: my dating.

1260
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: I didn't bring any of that to them.

1261
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 3: No, not, not really, not.

1262
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,760
Speaker 1: Until you were ready to marry your wife. Were you like, No, there.

1263
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 4: Was there were a few girlfriends before my wife that

1264
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 4: long term girlfriends that I brought to them, and you know,

1265
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 4: they they would see and get to know, and but

1266
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 4: there were shorter term girlfriends that they didn't meet.

1267
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 2: Well that's every dude out here like you don't get

1268
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 2: to meet the parents.

1269
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's not what this is.

1270
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then all the other stories you know, we're

1271
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 4: not you know, or or stories that they weren't privy to.

1272
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

1273
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 2: You also mentioned being like, why can't my parents when

1274
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 2: we first started this conversation be like this other friend's

1275
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,440
Speaker 2: parents was one of the things you wish that they

1276
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 2: were like, is like did you have friends that were

1277
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 2: telling their parents like.

1278
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah?

1279
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,799
Speaker 1: And did you want that at the time? Now do

1280
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:29,760
Speaker 1: you appreciate that that was not the case?

1281
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1282
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that's kind of me too.

1283
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1284
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to put that all on you. Was

1285
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 1: all very leading questions.

1286
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 2: In a point of law, the judge would have been like, objection,

1287
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 2: you're asking leading questions.

1288
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 4: Yes, I yeah, for sure, I like, you know, I

1289
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 4: always had those people that I could that I could

1290
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 4: talk about those things with. Yeah, and those things would

1291
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 4: have would have upset my parents.

1292
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 2: All right, you just know you I don't need to

1293
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 2: we don't need to share that. You're It's fine for

1294
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 2: you to be my mom and my dad. That's okay, yes,

1295
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 2: and that different from my friend or even a confidant

1296
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 2: in that way.

1297
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, But I mean that's great if someone does

1298
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 4: have that relationship.

1299
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,760
Speaker 1: But that's great, that's also great.

1300
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Randall, I end every episode of this podcast

1301
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 2: asking my dad for the day.

1302
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 1: Yes, and so in this case, you okay for a

1303
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 1: piece of advice.

1304
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 3: Yes, please be honest. I'm going to tell you I'm

1305
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 3: your dad, my dad.

1306
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, oh goodness.

1307
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 2: I'm getting nervous, but okay, because I never had this,

1308
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 2: so every time I get to do sometimes these are silly,

1309
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 2: silly questions. So I have friends who like drugs, Yeah, okay,

1310
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: we're not talking weed, okay, or maybe for the case

1311
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 2: of the podcast, we could be talking weed. Realizing everyone

1312
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 2: gets to hear this, No, I have I have friends

1313
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 2: who like drugs, and you should try drugs.

1314
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: There are drugs I would never try in my entire life,

1315
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: and I think.

1316
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: For example, for example, heroine, heroine, we're not going to dabble.

1317
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 2: I don't need to try. I don't think you're allowed

1318
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 2: to try heroin. I think if you try heroin, you're

1319
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 2: going to start doing heroin is my understanding, is my guest.

1320
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 2: I don't know either, But the DARE program was really

1321
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: effective in terms of how it impacted me.

1322
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 1: I think, did I did? I think the DARE program

1323
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: did exactly what.

1324
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 3: Was until college?

1325
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 1: Oh?

1326
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 2: Okay, he was having fun in college and that's one

1327
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 2: of those secrets you were keeping from the family. Okay,

1328
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 2: very good. Well see Dad, I'm bringing this to you.

1329
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 2: I also want to google when we leave here what

1330
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 2: happened to DARE and why it was dismantled and why

1331
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 2: it doesn't exist anymore. That's what everyone's doing drugs now,

1332
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 2: Like everyone's doing drugs.

1333
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 3: That's true.

1334
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so Dad, that's that's what I'm coming to.

1335
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:41,880
Speaker 2: If everyone's doing drugs, how do I draw the line

1336
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 2: on what drugs to do and which drugs not to do?

1337
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 2: Is this a publicist nightmare for you? By the way,

1338
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 2: right now? Am I getting you in hot water?

1339
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 1: That's the name of the episode.

1340
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 4: I'm a grown man, so guess Okay, So when you

1341
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 4: ask this question you, what's what I'm inferring, Yes, is

1342
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 4: that you're open to trying stuff, but you also want

1343
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 4: to create boundary certain boundaries.

1344
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like I'm not I don't actually like the

1345
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: idea of drugs for me, right, but do you feel

1346
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 2: like one should?

1347
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: So are these drugs like like saffron to you? Like

1348
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 4: like like these friends are putting it in your drink?

1349
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 4: So god, those are maybe not maybe those are enemies,

1350
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 4: but your friends are offering it and you feel like

1351
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 4: you have to take it and take.

1352
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 2: I'm not okay. So here's what I'll say. I'm not

1353
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 2: even a like peer pressure girly, Dad. I actually don't

1354
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 2: succumb to peer pressure.

1355
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1356
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 2: I just I'm not a peer pressure person. But I

1357
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 2: wonder I guess what I'm trying to say. It's like,

1358
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 2: should I be more curious about these drugs that my

1359
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 2: friends are?

1360
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 3: Like?

1361
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 2: I do this and it's fine from me. I do

1362
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 2: this from time to time, and it's fine. What I'll

1363
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 2: tell you, Dad, because we have this same genetics. You

1364
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,240
Speaker 2: should know this already. Anyway, we have this half. You're

1365
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 2: half of my DNA today. I don't have an addictive personality.

1366
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 2: The only thing I am addicted to is sugar, and

1367
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 2: that's a real, like serious addiction.

1368
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 3: I have a candy addiction.

1369
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: But otherwise I don't have an addictive personality. Yes, So

1370
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 2: with that information, which you already knew because you are

1371
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 2: my dad for the day, I don't fear.

1372
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 1: I'll become addicted to anything. I don't think so. But

1373
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 1: it's like, should I be open to trying drugs?

1374
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 3: I think that it's okay, okay, okay.

1375
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 4: I think that life is for experiencing things. But you

1376
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 4: don't have to ever feel the need to experience everything, okay,

1377
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 4: you know, because there's so many things.

1378
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 1: There's so many things.

1379
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, do you you could murder a person experience.

1380
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: That was like to take another person's life. And I'm

1381
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: in jail because I.

1382
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 4: Want Yeah, you don't want to find and and drugs? Yeah,

1383
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 4: it can be become a slippery or it cannot, you know.

1384
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 4: I would say, just be very aware of the people

1385
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 4: who are offering this, who are inviting you to be

1386
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 4: a part of this.

1387
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 3: Sure, are they good people? You know? And will they

1388
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 3: take care of you?

1389
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 5: You know?

1390
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 3: Are there other people who will take care of you?

1391
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 3: Are they or are they troubled people who are using

1392
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 3: it to escape maybe certain things about their lives, you know,

1393
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 3: because that could be the reason why they're doing it,

1394
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 3: you know.

1395
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

1396
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 4: You are you don't have that issue at least, I

1397
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:42,919
Speaker 4: mean at least to the extent maybe that they might.

1398
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,800
Speaker 4: You know, So I would if you do decide to

1399
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:49,959
Speaker 4: try something, I would see it as very like much

1400
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 4: of it, I'm going to experience this once and I'm

1401
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 4: going to know what it's.

1402
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 1: Like, approach it with pure curiosity.

1403
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 2: But if there's like a part of me that is

1404
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 2: wanting to try it as a means of escapism, that's

1405
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 2: probably that.

1406
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 1: Can be tricky and maybe be a little wary.

1407
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think the big sign of that is

1408
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 4: you're doing it often, or you know, more than once,

1409
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 4: no twice, or you know, like you're you know, okay.

1410
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 4: But but I I personally feel like it's okay to

1411
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 4: try things okay as long as like you're safe, okay,

1412
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 4: you know okay. Yeah, I don't know. Some dads would

1413
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 4: be like absolutely not right.

1414
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 2: But I also think this is another thing I think

1415
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:36,919
Speaker 2: has changed. Do you think about the DARE program. When

1416
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 2: I was in school, you had the DARE program where

1417
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 2: you asked, yeah, I'm like, it was hard to know

1418
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 2: on drugs, And I think that sometimes again not apparent,

1419
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 2: I say it all the time on this podcast, but

1420
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 2: I feel like when you create those hard boundary lines. Yeah,

1421
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 2: it just piques people's curiosity and interest in a way

1422
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 2: that it might not if you were like, let me

1423
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: tell you all about this thing, and I'm not telling

1424
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 2: you about this thing to be like, I'm not trying

1425
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: to make you fearful of this thing. Because then they

1426
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 2: hear stories of people who like tried it and had

1427
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 2: a fun and a nice time, and they go, well,

1428
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 2: I feel like you lied to me a little bit. Terrible, scary,

1429
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 2: dangerous this thing is. And now my relationship with drugs

1430
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 2: is weird because someone told me hard to know, Like

1431
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 2: I don't feel.

1432
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:24,760
Speaker 3: Like, do you judge your friends a little bit who

1433
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 3: do drugs?

1434
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 2: If they do it too much? Honestly? And what is

1435
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 2: too much? It's all relative. I feel like, I go, yeah,

1436
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 2: what are you running from? I do go now, I'm

1437
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 2: worried about.

1438
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 4: It, something implanted and yeah, you know, and that will

1439
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 4: keep you from going down that path.

1440
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 3: Yeah you know.

1441
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1442
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 2: And I'm like a little too type a need to

1443
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 2: be in control of the enviroment and my like, I

1444
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,000
Speaker 2: want the ox cord if we're going on a road trip.

1445
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 2: Also because I think I'm a good DJ, but I'm

1446
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 2: like a little too that way to be like, I'm

1447
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,080
Speaker 2: going to surrender to what ever the highest.

1448
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:03,840
Speaker 4: I don't feel like just knowing you, I don't feel

1449
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 4: like it would ever be a problem.

1450
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,360
Speaker 3: Okay, Like, yeah, I really believe that.

1451
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 2: And if somehow, guys I do develop a problem, we're

1452
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 2: gonna blame Randall Park.

1453
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:20,960
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, guys, Randall, thank you so much for coming fun.

1454
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 2: It was so fun. Is there anything you would like

1455
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 2: to plug for listeners?

1456
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:29,040
Speaker 3: It could be nothing, Yeah, nothing, Well, we did a thing,

1457
01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:30,880
Speaker 3: we did a think Oh my goodness. I don't know

1458
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 3: what when or what someone.

1459
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 2: Texted me about when it's coming out, but I kind

1460
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,439
Speaker 2: of don't remember what the contents of the text said.

1461
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 3: Okay, so I know it's Florida man. Yeah, it's Florida man.

1462
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 3: It's uh.

1463
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 2: I think it's on HBO. Yeah, now maybe Max. Yeah,

1464
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 2: I don't have another three letter word. Yeah, I guess we're.

1465
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 3: On something and it'll be out somewhere.

1466
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 2: It's gonna be out somewhere. I love that as a plug.

1467
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 2: We're on something and it's gonna be out somewhere. You

1468
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:59,640
Speaker 2: heard it here, guys, Randall again, thank you for being

1469
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:00,360
Speaker 2: my dad.

1470
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 3: For the day.

1471
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 1: This has been an absolute pleasure. You are a pure delight.

1472
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, Thank you, guys, this has been

1473
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 2: Thanks Dad, Thank you for listening.

1474
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 1: Thanks Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by

1475
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,760
Speaker 1: me Igo Odem. This show is.

1476
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:17,400
Speaker 2: Engineered by Rochelle Chen and Anya Kanevskaya and edited by

1477
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 2: Rochelle Chen with executive producer Emma Foley.

1478
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 1: Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum.

1479
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 2: Thanks to Jason Matheni for our show art and Faris

1480
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 2: Monshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Heedgum,

1481
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 2: visit headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your

1482
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:37,680
Speaker 2: favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe,

1483
01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 2: just maybe we'll read it on a future episode.