Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is that complaining is boring. Instead of focusing your
Speaker 1: conversations on hassles, be alert to the delights all around
Speaker 1: you and share stories about that instead. I don't know
Speaker 1: what it is about human nature, but a lot of
Speaker 1: get togethers feature a lot of complaining. I guess everyone
Speaker 1: has had some travel woe, which then provides an excuse
Speaker 1: for other people to share theirs. Everyone's had some problem
Speaker 1: with their home renovations, or with buying a used car,
Speaker 1: or filing their taxes or something, And yes, the world
Speaker 1: is far from perfect. I remember when I was with
Speaker 1: a group of folks and everyone was going on and
Speaker 1: on about how busy they were, and I kept thinking, Hmm,
Speaker 1: is this really constructive for building relationships? Like, Hey, your
Speaker 1: life sounds terrible, We should be friends. I think it's
Speaker 1: generally better in life to focus on either the positive
Speaker 1: or on constructive things we are doing about whatever we
Speaker 1: are dealing with. Like, yes, it has not been fun
Speaker 1: that my WiFi has been out for a week, but
Speaker 1: I've been spending some fun time in Starbucks. In the
Speaker 1: library with my teenager. Oh, we are waiting for it
Speaker 1: to get fixed. Or yes, our flight was delayed to Arubab. Wow,
Speaker 1: the beaches there are amazing. Have you ever had a
Speaker 1: rum punch on the beach? If others are complaining, we
Speaker 1: can try to redirect that too, like wow, getting home
Speaker 1: from Thanksgiving sounds like it was rough, But was it
Speaker 1: good to catch up with your grandmother. Life is what
Speaker 1: we make of it. And when we hype on the
Speaker 1: neck and retell those stories, those are the ones that
Speaker 1: become more stark. They become our memories of an experience.
Speaker 1: Why do that to ourselves? The world can be frustrating,
Speaker 1: but there are a lot of delights. I am writing
Speaker 1: this at a time of year when there are still
Speaker 1: some gorgeously colorful leaves outside my window. I can look
Speaker 1: at all the brown leaves on the ground, or I
Speaker 1: can choose to look at the few that are still
Speaker 1: cheerful and read. Lots of people lately have enjoyed the
Speaker 1: poet Ross Guay's book of short essays, The Book of Delights.
Speaker 1: He wrote about a delight he encountered every day for
Speaker 1: a year, A beautiful flower growing from the crack between
Speaker 1: the curb and the street, strange sayings that have an
Speaker 1: interesting history, a lavender Infinity scarf. He chronicled his delight
Speaker 1: in unusual things in ordinary wares, and he described some
Speaker 1: bittersweet delights too. Rosque recounts noticing more delights as a
Speaker 1: result of writing about delights. He comments that he developed
Speaker 1: delight radar for his delight muscle as a result of
Speaker 1: acknowledging a delight every day, and he found his delight
Speaker 1: grew when he shared it. So here's an idea. When
Speaker 1: you find yourself starting to complain as a way to
Speaker 1: build bonds, why not try to build a bond over
Speaker 1: a delight. Instead, start tracking delights that might be worth sharing.
Speaker 1: Most people would be as interested to know about a
Speaker 1: new coffee shop that makes really good muffins as they
Speaker 1: would be about the fact that the utility company is
Speaker 1: still doing construction on your street after they said they'd
Speaker 1: be done two days ago. They'd like to know that
Speaker 1: you are having a really positive experience with your kid's
Speaker 1: third grade teacher as much as they would like to
Speaker 1: know that the bus keeps coming three minutes past the
Speaker 1: time the schedule says. Usually, when we are chatting with
Speaker 1: people we are trying to relax and build connections. While
Speaker 1: complaining can sometimes do this because everyone has experienced frustrations, Ultimately,
Speaker 1: complaining is kind of boring. We are much more engaged
Speaker 1: and joyful when we focus on delight instead. What has
Speaker 1: delighted you lately? You can tell me at Laura at
Speaker 1: Laura vandercam dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've
Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at
Speaker 1: Laura at Laura VANDERCAMDT. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.