1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, a new weekly series 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: that is part of my I've Never Said This Before 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: podcast where I am talking about things that I've never 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: really publicly talked about before, things that you and I 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: and hopefully everybody listening can relate to. And today's topic 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: is one that I am really really revved up about, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: and that topic is stop commenting on women's bodies. Oh boy, Okay, 8 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: I can't promise you that some curse words will not 9 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: be flying out of my mouth during this talk, because 10 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: it's something I'm really passionate about it. It's disgusting to 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: me that we are in twenty twenty five, a year 12 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: where I feel like we have seen so many mistakes 13 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: happen in decades and decades before us, and we are 14 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: still doing the same old shit that we have done forever. 15 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: I am so disappointed in the fact that media and 16 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: users on social media like to comment and pile on 17 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: women and pick apart their appearances. We see it far 18 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: too often, and what's the point. What is the damn point? 19 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: Does it make you feel better saying oh my god, 20 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: that girl looks fat, or oh my god, she's lost 21 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: way too much weight With ozepic and looks like a 22 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 1: skeleton who gives a shit, it's not your life. And 23 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've always been very very strange with 24 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: commenting on how people look because I think it is 25 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: such a gross and vile thing. And the thing that's 26 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: really shocking to me is when I see people who 27 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: I feel like should be your biggest champions in the 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: world tearing you down. For example, as a gay man. 29 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to relate this to me for a second. 30 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: As a gay man. I feel like some of the 31 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: worst things that I've ever been said about me, and 32 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: some of the meanest things that have been said about 33 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: me are from other gay men. And it's like, guys, 34 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: you know the struggles that we've been through as a community, 35 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: you know the fights I've had to fight, you know 36 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: the hardships I've had to face. Why are you tearing 37 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: me down when you know there's all this other shit 38 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: I have to deal with by just being gay. Like, 39 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: if anyone you should, you should get it, you should 40 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: want to lift me up, and I want to lift 41 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: you up. Why is it not the same right? And 42 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: I feel that like when a woman does that to 43 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: another woman, it's the same type of thing. Why? Why? Why? Why? 44 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: You know what it's like being a woman. I don't 45 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: know what it's like, but you do, right, And there's 46 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 1: different changes and phases throughout your life. I was raised 47 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: by many women. I have many women as my best friends. Like, 48 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: my world is women, and I know that they've gone through, 49 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: you know, ups and downs with hormones or stress or 50 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: things that can affect weight. So why are we commenting 51 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: on it when it's none of our damn business Like that, 52 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: that's a very personal thing. And going back to my 53 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 1: point of sometimes the people in your community being the 54 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: meanest to you, Like when I see another woman's tearing 55 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: another woman down, it breaks my heart. But worse than 56 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: that is when I see a dude doing it, Like, brother, 57 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: you don't need to be given your opinion as you 58 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: sit in a basement with a hand down your pants, 59 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: eating your friend or your lazed potato chips, Like, I'm 60 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: not interested in what you have to say about a 61 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: woman's body. Keep your opinion to yourself. It just blows 62 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: my mind that again, in twenty twenty five, we are 63 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: dealing with this shit, and I see people in media 64 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,119 Speaker 1: writing really awful headlines quite a bit for a clickbait 65 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: for you know, for traffic on their website to get 66 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: people to open their article, commenting on women's bodies, putting 67 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: before's and afters, and saying the most horrendous things. And 68 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: it's like why, why, why is that interesting to people? Why? Why? 69 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: If people aren't clicking it, they wouldn't be writing it. 70 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: So it's kind of like we all have to take 71 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: responsibility for what we're putting out there. And guys, I 72 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: did a little tweet and post on social media because 73 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: I was so sick of seeing this. I've been seeing 74 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: it for so long, with so many different people, and 75 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: it it just breaks my heart. Like I always think 76 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: if I had a daughter, I'd be scared shitless that 77 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: she has to grow up in this world with the 78 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: people that write things that they do out there. So 79 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: I put some on social media, just kind of like 80 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: a knee jerk reaction, and you should have seen some 81 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: of the comments. I mean a lot of people were like, yeah, 82 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: like we're with you, rock on. But then I got 83 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: a lot of weird comments like okay, here's one. If 84 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: you don't post pictures of yourself or post your height 85 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: and weight on social media, Okay, who the hell is 86 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: doing that? For one, nobody will comment if somebody posts 87 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: their picture, we have free range to discuss their weight 88 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: online and comments are gonna flow. Why does that mean 89 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: you can talk about someone's weight if someone's gonna put 90 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: up a picture, Really that gives you free rein to talk? 91 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry, Am I high? Because I'm not 92 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: understanding the justification there. Just because you post a picture 93 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: on Instagram or one that you like doesn't mean you're 94 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: inviting comments about your weight. It means, oh, I like 95 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,159 Speaker 1: this picture, it brings me joy. I'm posting it, not 96 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: I'm welcoming your opinion. So if that's a mentality that's 97 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: out there, I want to crush that shit right now. Wait, 98 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: here's another one that really it's got me going. Celebrities 99 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: know there will always be people that are going to 100 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: judge them no matter what, and it must be hard 101 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: on them. I don't know how they can deal with 102 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: it because it must be tough. However, it's part of 103 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: their job. Some aspects of their job is to look good. Guys, 104 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: am I going crazy? It is not somebody's job to 105 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: maintain a weight that is appropriate or comfortable for you. Like, 106 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: That's not their job. Their job is to make a 107 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: TV show, to make a movie, to sing a song, 108 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: to provide art and entertainment that makes you feel better 109 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: about your life. So why the hell are we going 110 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: turning around and making them feel bad about their life 111 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: by being who they are and posting pictures of who 112 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: they are in real time? Like that doesn't that doesn't 113 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: work for me. I'm sorry, it doesn't work for me. 114 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: And then somebody called me Mary Poppins when I posted that, 115 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, Mary Poppins, why are you calling me 116 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: Mary Poppins? Or they're trying to say, I'm like, oh, 117 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: I'm prim and proper and clutching my pearls because I'm upset. Well, 118 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: you know what, I will be Mary Poppins, because Mary 119 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: Poppins at least knew how to treat people like. It's 120 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:12,159 Speaker 1: just so funny, the uh friction that can be caused 121 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: when you talk about this, because there are people out 122 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: there who believe, if you were in the public eye, 123 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: you deserve to have whatever said about you, and I 124 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 1: just don't think that's fair. And there's going to be 125 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: people who don't agree with me on this, but I 126 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,799 Speaker 1: just would say to those people, think about your best friends, 127 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: think about your family, think about your daughter, think about 128 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: your cousin, think about just someone you love, a woman 129 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: you love. Would you want them being talked to and 130 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: treated like that? I don't think so. And behind a screen, 131 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: everybody has big balls and they want to say whatever 132 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: they want to say. But if you want to walk 133 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: up to somebody and say it, why would you type it, 134 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: why would you print it, why would you publish it? 135 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: These are people, These are emotions, These are humans that 136 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: you know what you say hurts. Oh my god, I'm 137 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: just so over it. I'm so over it because in 138 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: the grand scheme of things, what somebody's weight is, what 139 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: somebody looks like has zero effect on you. And what 140 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: does speaking negatively do for your being? And this isn't 141 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: a message to my listeners, because I know you all 142 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: are good people and you wantn't dare talk about anybody 143 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: in this way, So this isn't for you. This is 144 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: more of event that I guess. I just want you 145 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: to know that I see you and I feel you, 146 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: and for all my women listeners, like, I am so 147 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: sorry that you have to go through this and deal 148 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: with this because it's bullshit and I will do everything 149 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: I can in my position in media to encourage conversations 150 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: that don't involve this and don't circle around this. In fact, 151 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: there was a magazine that posted a headline that was 152 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: really gross and misleading, kind of pinning women against each other. 153 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: And I commented on it. And it's a show that 154 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: covers my show all the time and writes about my 155 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: show gives me great press. But you know what, at 156 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: the end of the day, wrong is wrong, and I'm 157 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: not gonna sit back and watch you tear somebody down 158 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: for a headline like I'm sorry, I'm not and I'm 159 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: not and I'm not sitting here like woe is me, 160 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: I'm the perfect being. That's not like, don't get me wrong, 161 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: that's not that's not my jam. But there's one thing 162 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: I know for a shore I don't do, and I 163 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: do not, like ever comment on a woman's wait. If anything, 164 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: I'll say to a woman, oh my god, you look amazing, 165 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: or wow, you look so great tonight, like I will 166 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: build you up, but I'm not gonna tear you down 167 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: like that's just ridiculous. So let's please, for the love 168 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: of God, as a society stop commenting on how women 169 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: look cause I can promise you they're not interested in 170 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: hearing your thoughts. They don't care if you have criticism. 171 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: At least the people I've talked to, they don't want 172 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: to hear from you about that. And if you're a woman, 173 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: like please, lift up your sisters, like please. And if 174 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: you're a man, shut your mouth because nobody wants to 175 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: hear your opinion. Okay, I am so riled up. I 176 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: need to go like I don't know, do yoga or 177 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: have a cocktail. Not open social media because I cannot 178 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: risk seeing anything right now. But for all my ladies 179 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: out there, I love you, I got you, I support you. 180 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: I will do whatever I can to be a champion 181 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:25,440 Speaker 1: for you. Sign it off. I've Never Said This Before 182 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: is hosted by me Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive 183 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,959 Speaker 1: produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, 184 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said This Before 185 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: is part of the Elvis Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. 186 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,719 Speaker 1: For more, rate review and subscribe to our show. And 187 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: if you like this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, 188 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm Tommy Dedario.