1 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:03,240 Speaker 1: All media. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 2: Book club, book club. 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: Book club club, book club, book. 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 2: Bo it'sticles on media, book club, your correctly book club. 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: That's right. 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 2: You don't get the reading ahead of time. You get 7 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 2: the reading, that's right, the book, which from my point 8 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: of view is actually a better way to do a 9 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: book club because I don't usually do the reading when 10 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: I'm in a book club, and I go to the 11 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: book club meeting and pretend like I did the reading 12 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 2: because I want to relive high school. 13 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, Margaret, I treat everything in life like a high 14 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: stakes negotiation because I have been raised entirely by hustle 15 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: influencers on YouTube. So when I walk into a book club, 16 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: I pull out a revolver and I drop that shit 17 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: on the table and I say, what do you got 18 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: to tell me about Moby Dick? 19 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 2: That's good, that's good, And then they tell they say 20 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 2: from hell stab at the that's right. 21 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: Yeah huh. That's how I do all of my only line. 22 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: I travel three hundred and sixty four days a year 23 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: just to find people who are reading the books that 24 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: I need to read for behind the bastards, and then 25 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: I engineer the information out of them. It's the fastest 26 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: way I can think of to do it beyond actually. 27 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 2: Reading, which is why when Sophie brought me onto cool 28 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 2: Zone Media, she shielded my address from you. 29 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: That's right, that's right, despite my best efforts, which since 30 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: I can't read, are limited more or less to yelling 31 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: at other people on the internet to find Margaret's house. Yeah, 32 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: has not worked yet. 33 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 2: Your white whale, as you sometimes refer to me, Yes. 34 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: Yes, Ever since I went to that Moby Dick book club, 35 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: that one really left an impact. 36 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, everything is your white whale depending on the. 37 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: Week, but you know, yeah, yeah. 38 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 2: This week, I'm going to be reading a piece from 39 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 2: an upcoming book written by Carrot Quinn Carrick Carrot. 40 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: Like the Carrot. Okay, so like literally spelled carrot Quinn. 41 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, gotcha. Old. You know, queer has a has a 42 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: queer name cool. 43 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: I just want to make sure people could find them 44 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: by googling. 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, now Carrots like the Food and then Quinn 46 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 2: q u I and and she's the author of this book. 47 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 2: The one that I've read by her is called Through 48 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 2: Hiking Will Break Your Heart, and it is a through 49 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 2: hiking memoir and it's very good and will make you 50 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 2: want to quit your job and go walk for a 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: very long way. But she's also working on a post 52 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 2: apocalypse novel. And the thing I really like about this 53 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: is that she knows traveling in the wilderness more than 54 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 2: anyone I know. One of the other things she does 55 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 2: is she leads hikes, right Like, if you want to 56 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 2: go on a week long you know, women only through hike, 57 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 2: you can. You can go with Quinn, Carrot. You can 58 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 2: go with Carrot, Carrot, Quinn. So I'm really excited about 59 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 2: this upcoming, this up there, I mean, post apocalypse. 60 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do more through hiking. You know, 61 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: I've done bits and little bits of that over the years. 62 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: You know, I've done some hitch hiking and shit in 63 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: other countries mostly, but I've never done like the drop 64 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: your life for a year and spend it walking And 65 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: would would very much like to do that, But Sophie 66 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: will probably get frustrated with me. Where I to choose 67 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: to do that now, So I hope, I hope it's good, 68 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: but not quite that good. 69 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: That's that's actually similar to how I feel about through 70 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 2: hiking is I'm like, I get why I can't do 71 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 2: it right now, and I'm sort of annoyed. 72 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would like to nuke my life to do 73 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: that right now. 74 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, and that's why at the end of this 75 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 2: we're fundraising for Yeah, Robert and Margaret's Through Hike Adventure. 76 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: Where my dream has always been the thing I hope 77 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: I get to do someday is I want to take 78 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: a you know, fly into probably fly into Dublin, hike 79 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: from Dublin to on the other side of Ireland, Galway, 80 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: hike to Galway, and then go hike from Galway straight 81 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: up north, you know, across the island and eventually up 82 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: to Belfast, like do the whole linkland width of Ireland 83 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: on foot. Has always been like the thing that I 84 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: most wanted to do. 85 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: That would be cool. I want to do the three 86 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 2: big American ones, but I also want to do the Lacaya. 87 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: I think it is the way the Saints Pilgrimage that 88 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: goes from southern France over to western Spain. 89 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: Oh shit, that would rule. 90 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 2: Yeah. But anyway, maybe we'll get to do it during 91 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 2: the apocalypse like in this story Willing. Yeah. Yeah. The 92 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 2: book has a working title of an r Var's Guide 93 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 2: to the American West, and so you should look for that. 94 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 2: But also you should just look for through hiking will 95 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 2: break your heart. And then also memoir called the Sunset Route. 96 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 2: And one of the another thing I like about Carrott 97 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 2: is that Carrot's coming. Actually a lot of through hikers 98 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 2: come from quit their office job and go hiking, and 99 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 2: Carrot comes from hopping freight trains and hitchhiking to going 100 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 2: and being like the through hiker. 101 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, so. 102 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: The sun drives my clothes as I ride my bike. 103 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: My stomach is full of breakfast gruel. The dog is 104 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 2: fed too, and jostling softly in the pannier. As we 105 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 2: make our way across the road, the cold and fear 106 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 2: of the night slough off me like old paint. My 107 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 2: joints loosen. In the gentle day, I try not to 108 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 2: think of how lost I am and how little food 109 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: I have. I try and lean into this moment where 110 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: on the micro level nothing is wrong. My strong legs turning, 111 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 2: the petals of my bike pulling the road beneath me. 112 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 2: The road crests arise, still wooded, though still no view, 113 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: and I can see that it drops down and then 114 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 2: curves out of sight below. Okay, maybe we'll descend now, 115 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 2: maybe we'll get off this goddamn mountain. I coast downhill, 116 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 2: picking up speed, letting the wind ruffle my hair, letting 117 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: my tired legs rest. How good it feels to just 118 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 2: be carried like this. The down tree is hidden behind 119 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 2: a curve in the road. I don't see it soon enough. 120 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 2: I hit the brakes, but it's a huge tree, broken 121 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 2: branches everywhere, and I'm going too fast. I can't even 122 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 2: make sense of what happens next, except there's a terrible 123 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,119 Speaker 2: grinding noise. I'm going over the handlebars, I'm bouncing, sharp 124 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 2: pain in my body, and then everything is still. My 125 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 2: first thought is the dog. I pull myself up. There's 126 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: some blood on the fabric of my dress. My bike 127 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 2: is tangled and twisted wood, the handlebars bent backwards. The 128 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 2: pannier with a dog in it is facing up. But 129 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: it didn't get smashed under the bike, thank god. And 130 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 2: I open it up and the dog jumps out, looks around, 131 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 2: wide eyed, startled, shakes himself with vigor. He's okay. I'm 132 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 2: weeping with relief. How stupid I was, being so so stupid? 133 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: Why would I go so fast like that on this 134 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: janky ass road. I almost killed my best my only friend. 135 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 2: I'm sitting on the ground now openly sobbing my chest, 136 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 2: heaving a tender pain starting to make itself known. There 137 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: a stabbing burning. Each time I take a breath, I 138 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 2: can't stop crying. Though the dog stands next to me, 139 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 2: curious watching me cry. I'm blubbering incoherently at him. He 140 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: has everything in the world that I have, and he's 141 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 2: so small, and it's my responsibility to keep him alive 142 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 2: out here in this big, dangerous land. Snot is running 143 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 2: down my face, and I lift the blood stained skirt 144 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 2: of my dress to wipe it away. That's when I 145 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 2: see the cut on my leg. A sharp ended branch 146 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 2: must have dragged its way across my thigh. The cut 147 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 2: is rough looking and messy, but not too deep, and 148 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 2: the blood is already starting to clot. When I stand, 149 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: the leg feels tender and a little fresh blood is out. 150 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: I rub my hands over the rest of my body. 151 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 2: I feel bruised and maybe a broken rib, but otherwise okay, lucky, 152 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 2: I got lucky. My bike is mangled, though one of 153 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 2: the rims bent the wheel. Rubbing against the frame and 154 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 2: walking is painful, and in addition, now that I'm around 155 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: the bend. I can see that the road does not 156 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 2: continue to descend. It climbs back up onto the ridge. 157 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: The ridge, though, the clear, open ridge. I can see 158 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 2: it ahead of me, cast in soft yellow light. The 159 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 2: road goes up there, and there should be a view. 160 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 2: The view I wanted there is that at least, better 161 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 2: get there before the stiffness settles in, before my rib 162 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 2: becomes all the way painful, and pushing a bike is 163 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: too much. I make my way gingerly up the hill, 164 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 2: the dog trotting along beside me, the slowness of my 165 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: bent bike matching the slow, painful movements of my body. 166 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 2: The road tops out in a rocky clearing, and I 167 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 2: can see the valley spread out in the light below. 168 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: The road ends. Here. There's a small house, a sort 169 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 2: of one room shack, up high in the air on stilts, 170 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 2: with a long turning staircase leaning up to it. I 171 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 2: stand for a time watching the shack, watching for movement, 172 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 2: but there is none, no sounds either, just the stillness 173 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 2: of this peaceful evening. I lean the bike against one 174 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 2: of the metal supports, pull off my panniers, and begin 175 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: to mount the stairs. One two, three, four, flights. I 176 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: grab the guardrail to support myself, WinCE at the pain 177 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 2: in my leg and chest. With each turn of the staircase, 178 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 2: the mountain recedes below me, and I can see farther. 179 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 2: I can see the ridges leaning away from this one. 180 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: I can see more of the valley far below. The 181 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: dog is right behind me, heaving himself up each metal step. 182 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 2: After six flights, the staircase ends and there's just plywood 183 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 2: above my head. Nowhere else to go. I press the 184 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 2: plywood up. It sticks, and then it comes free, revealing 185 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 2: a square opening in the floor of the shack. I 186 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: pop my head inside. I see a row of wooden benches, 187 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 2: a metal table, some shelves, a small cot, a wood stove. 188 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 2: Each of the four walls is made up of huge windows, 189 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 2: looking out in every direction. I lift the dog up 190 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 2: and set him inside, and then climb in after him. 191 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 2: It's nicer inside the shack than out. The walls block 192 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 2: the wind, and the huge windows gather the warmth of 193 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 2: the sun, shelter, my God, shelter. Something inside of me 194 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 2: releases some tense little ball on furls, just in time 195 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 2: to enjoy these sweet, sweet interruptions in the form of advertisements, 196 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 2: and we're back. I drop my panniers on the floor. 197 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: I should take inventory of the shack, see what is 198 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: useful here? But I'm overcome with an unnameable exhaustion. I 199 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 2: carefully lower myself onto the cot, curl up into a ball, 200 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,319 Speaker 2: and shut my eyes. When I wake, its afternoon and 201 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 2: the light is heavy. I slept more deeply than I 202 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 2: have since leaving Maud, and I fight the urge to 203 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 2: close my eyes and fall back asleep, to sleep for 204 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 2: a hundred years. The dog is sitting right in front 205 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: of my face, staring at me. You're right, dog, I say, 206 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 2: I should get up and put things in order. I 207 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 2: roll onto my back and WinCE in pain. I'm thirsty. 208 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 2: Did I put any water out for the dog? I 209 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 2: fish a bottle from one of my panniers and fill 210 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 2: a jar lid that serves as his water dish, set 211 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 2: it in the corner. Anticipation percolates through me as I 212 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 2: open a wooden cabinet above the metal table. It's the 213 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 2: same anticipation I felt in the city, opening up abandoned 214 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 2: apartments with Georgia. The time before mine was a period 215 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 2: of unimaginable abundance of goods. Always I am mining that time, 216 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 2: salvaging its leftovers, hobbling them together to make my own 217 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 2: spare of life. What hold over treasures will I discover here? 218 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 2: The first thing I see is a pack of matches 219 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 2: and a lighter and a roll of toilet paper half 220 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:21,079 Speaker 2: used up. This already is a bonanza. I've been lighting 221 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 2: fires with my flint and the dry inner bark of 222 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 2: pine trees. I learned to make fires of the flint 223 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 2: in the city using paper trash's kindling, and Maud's group 224 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 2: taught me about the tree bark. This lighter in matches 225 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 2: will make things go so much faster. That'll be nice 226 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: until they run out, and then it's back to the 227 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 2: flint and toilet paper. I can't remember the last time 228 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 2: I had toilet paper in the city. Toilet paper was 229 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 2: for rich people. We use trash paper dampened with water, 230 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 2: the water squeezed from cheap plastic bottles to make a bidet. 231 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,839 Speaker 2: Since leaving the city, I've used moss grasses folded over 232 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 2: into a bunch smooth stones. There's a deck of cards, 233 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 2: a handful of dirty dice, a few pencils, and some 234 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 2: scrap paper, A small red zippered pouch with a white 235 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 2: cross on it, a first aid kit. These often don't 236 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 2: hold much that's truly useful. Some safety pins gauze things 237 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 2: like that, but you never really know. Lastly, there's a 238 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 2: note written on a scrap of paper, Lottie Moonlight at 239 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 2: the end of the world, with you falling in love 240 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 2: among the stars, yours Alfonso. I run my fingers over 241 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 2: the words, place the note carefully back in the cabinet. 242 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 2: Other people's sadnesses years gone. There's a long wooden storage 243 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 2: box under the metal table, and I lift the lid. 244 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 2: Plastic bags, packages seemingly intact. This box must be mouseproof. 245 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: I rifle through them. A ziplock of broken noodles, a 246 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: cardboard box of instant mashed potatoes, some cans their label's gone, 247 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 2: likely too old to eat without risk getting sick. And 248 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 2: then some thick plastic packages that are still sealed freeze 249 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 2: dried meals, faded and old but not yet expired. These 250 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 2: are gold. They last decades. This is a major score. 251 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 2: We're eating good tonight, I say to the dog, who 252 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 2: is busy sniffing at every corner. He lifts his leg 253 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 2: and lets a stream of urine run down the table support. Hey, now, 254 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 2: I say, this is inside. You can't do that. He 255 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 2: looks at me curious. In the bottom of the metal 256 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 2: band is a notebook, and I flip it open. It's 257 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 2: full of entries. The earliest dated fifteen years ago. Fifteen 258 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 2: years Apparently this place operated as something called a fire 259 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 2: lookout tower, a place to watch for wildfires, back when 260 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 2: there was still state infrastructure beyond the cities. Someone lived 261 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 2: up here and looked out these big windows and watched 262 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 2: for smoke and recorded their observations every day, and if 263 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 2: they saw a fire, they contacted some sort of authority, 264 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 2: and those people would send out helicopters to fight the fire, 265 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 2: helicopters way out here. I can't imagine the infrastructure that 266 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 2: used to exist to move all that fuel all this way. 267 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 2: Just the work it would take to clean the fallen 268 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 2: trees off all these roads must have been staggering. Elsewhere 269 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 2: in the shack I find a metal lantern lacking fuel, 270 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: an enamel plate and cup, a couple of forks. On 271 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 2: the window sill is a pair of binoculars, a plant 272 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 2: identification book, a book on local birds. A plastic tote 273 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 2: on the floor holds an old roll, a sleeping bag 274 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: that smells pleasantly of mildew, and a couple of paperback Westerns. 275 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 2: There's a large blue water container that's empty. A wave 276 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 2: of dizziness reminds me that I'm actually quite hungry. At 277 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 2: the table, I rip open one of the freeze dried meals. 278 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 2: The plastic is brittle and breaks apart in my hands. 279 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 2: I empty the contents into my pot with some water 280 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 2: from one of my bottles, and set it to boil 281 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 2: on the small canned woodstove. I've been gathering twigs in 282 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 2: the morning and carrying them with me in case I 283 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 2: an I camping in a spot without trees and need 284 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 2: to cook dinner, and I'm happy to have those twigs 285 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 2: now so I don't have to climb down all those steps. 286 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 2: While the water heats, I close my eyes, allowing myself 287 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 2: to enjoy the absolute stillness of this space. This safety 288 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 2: is an illusion, I know. For true safety, I need 289 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 2: a source of water, some way to get more food, 290 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 2: and ideally other people. But now that my bike is broken, 291 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 2: we're just going to chow here for a bit and rest, 292 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: I say to the dog, who is napping in a 293 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: sunbeam on the worn wooden floor, and then we'll figure 294 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 2: out what's next. I think the meal was supposed to 295 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 2: be lasagna, or some approximation of lasagna. Now it tastes 296 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 2: rancid and the textures are all wrong, but the dog 297 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 2: and I eat it anyway. The drowsiness that follows is 298 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: a force that cannot be stopped, and I lay down 299 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 2: on the cot with the dog. The mildewed sleeping bag 300 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 2: pulled over us as well as our own. I imagine 301 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 2: that I can sense that other time in the cabin's 302 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 2: sleeping bag, that previous world, Lottie and Alfonso, smelling of 303 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 2: flowers and pine pitch and warmed over sweat, falling in 304 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 2: love at the end of the world. When I wake, 305 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 2: it's dark and cold. The dog is whining at me. 306 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 2: He has to take a shit, most likely, while that's 307 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 2: consider of him to want to do it outside. The 308 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 2: moon is still fairly large, and the table and woodstove 309 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 2: are cast in silver. I try to move and I can't. 310 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 2: I pin to the cot with pain tensing my abdomen. 311 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 2: To sit up causes a stab in my rib cage, 312 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: as though there's a sword running through it. Fuck, I 313 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 2: say aloud, God, fucking damn it. The dog lifts his 314 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 2: ears and looks at me, whinds again. Slowly, slowly, I 315 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 2: roll to my side, push myself into a sitting position 316 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 2: using my arms. It's excruciating, but not impossible. My leg 317 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 2: is sore, but walking as slowly is tolerable. However, lifting anything, 318 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 2: including the wooden hatch on the floor that leads to 319 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 2: the staircase, creates another sword of pain in my chest. 320 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 2: I'm crying by the time I set the dog on 321 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 2: the stairs beside me. I look at the dog. Maybe 322 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 2: I can send him down by himself, but he's so 323 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 2: small and there are predators openly sobbing, I make my 324 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 2: way down the stairs after him, gripping the guard rail. 325 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 2: By the time I reach the ground, I feel as 326 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 2: though I'm going to throw up. Not that though, vomiting 327 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 2: would be horrifically painful. I want to laugh, but that 328 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 2: would hurt too. The dog noses his way around the shadows, 329 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 2: arcs his back produces one tiny, perfect shit. My bike 330 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 2: is there, leaning against the steel supports of the tower, 331 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 2: glinting in the moonlight. I touched the metal so cold 332 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 2: it's almost frosty. I'm cold too. I'm starting to shiver, 333 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 2: and that hurts. The dog is already bounding his way 334 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 2: back up the staircase. I turn to follow him. I'll 335 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 2: deal with my bike tomorrow. The dawn comes long and red, 336 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,440 Speaker 2: the cold bite of nighttime banished by the slow warm 337 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 2: of the morning. I woke when it was still dark 338 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 2: and lay for hours in the sleeping bag, watching the 339 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: night fade. The dog curled against my belly. When I 340 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 2: am still, the pain is still, but every time I move, 341 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 2: it hollers at me again. Now I close my eyes, 342 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 2: feel the morning sun on my face. I've got to 343 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 2: figure out what to do. With great effort, I get 344 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,679 Speaker 2: myself upright and make my way to the table to 345 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 2: heat some water for breakfast. Putting weight on my leg 346 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,440 Speaker 2: feels worse today, and in a strange way. I lift 347 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,640 Speaker 2: my skirt and press my cool palm to the skin 348 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 2: around the gash, which is scabbed over. The skin is 349 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 2: hot to the touch and red and swollen. Sort of hard. 350 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 2: Wait did I clean this yesterday? Did I even fucking 351 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 2: clean this? I holler in the tower, letting my voice 352 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 2: carry out over the bright, vacant world. The dog glances 353 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 2: up at me, curious. How could I have forgotten to 354 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 2: clean the cut on my leg. How for all I know, 355 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 2: it's got fucking sticks in there. I was so excited 356 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 2: to find some stupid fucking matches and freeze dried meals 357 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 2: that I forgot to clean a fucking gash on my leg. No, no, no, 358 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 2: no no, I say to the tower, to the sky, 359 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 2: to the whole uncarrying universe that spirals around itself into cold, 360 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 2: infinite space. My head is a rush of noise. I 361 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 2: see the table and break sticks on thinking, stuff them 362 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: into my stove. I pour water into my pot, shake 363 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 2: the empty bottle that's the last of my water, and 364 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 2: light the sticks. Without comprehension, I unFocus my gaze at 365 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 2: the blank windows and the blue sky beyond. Wait for 366 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 2: the panic to pass. The water boils over, scalding my hand, 367 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 2: brings me back into my body. Yesterday I ate a 368 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 2: flake from the box of instant mashed potatoes. It tasted 369 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 2: like nothing, as though the plant matter had been replaced 370 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 2: by dust, the way bones and rock are replaced with 371 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 2: minerals to make fossils. Oh well, I'm eating the potatoes anyway. 372 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 2: I dump the contents of the box into the water, 373 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 2: remove the pot from the heat set it aside. I 374 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 2: put my head on the cool metal table, close my eyes, think, 375 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,399 Speaker 2: I've got to think. And you know what she thought of? 376 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 2: She thought of these great ads she invented all. 377 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a that's a you know, in the future 378 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: when when the television networks break down because the grid 379 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 1: has largely failed, the advertisements will continue in our soul 380 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: because because all ads come from a special secret place 381 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: where the human spirit dwells. 382 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 2: It just a little little leech just sucking on them. 383 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 2: You could view it as that as well too. Sure, 384 00:21:45,119 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 2: here they are, and we're back. I've never been much 385 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 2: for wound care back in the city, organizing with Georgia 386 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 2: and the others, that was never my role. I was 387 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 2: good at breaking into buildings, stealing boxes of food from 388 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 2: the backs of trucks that were unloading dumpsterring, making connections 389 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 2: to get resources we couldn't scavenger steal. Georgia was the 390 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 2: one in the group with some basic medical knowledge. If 391 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,479 Speaker 2: someone stepped on something sharp or twisted their ankle jumping 392 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 2: down from a chain link fence, she was there. Hospitals 393 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 2: were great places to get disappeared, so people like Georgia 394 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 2: were crucial. It wasn't always possible to help every problem, 395 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,919 Speaker 2: like with Rick and his abscessed tooth, and how impossible 396 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 2: it was to find antibiotics. But Georgia and others like 397 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 2: her did what they could. Now spooning tasteless potato mush 398 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,120 Speaker 2: into my mouth, and this isolated fire tower far from 399 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 2: the last vestiges of a dying empire. I wish that 400 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 2: I had taken the time to learn basic wound care 401 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 2: from Georgia. What an idiot I am. I dropped some 402 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 2: potatoes on the ground for the dog, and hehrks them down, 403 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,640 Speaker 2: and then he licks the wooden floor clean. I've got 404 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 2: to get more water. What would kill me first, dehydration 405 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,439 Speaker 2: or my infected wound? 406 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:11,920 Speaker 1: I want to laugh. 407 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 2: Where was the last water? I passed a little seep 408 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,479 Speaker 2: on the side of the road yesterday and made a 409 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 2: clear pool in the grass. How many miles back was that? 410 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,160 Speaker 2: My bike is too broken to ride, I'd be traveling 411 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 2: on foot, and I'm in so much pain I can 412 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 2: barely move. Maybe once my ribs have recovered some I 413 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 2: can walk to the water source in a few days, 414 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 2: But right now I can't travel that far. I need 415 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,439 Speaker 2: to find something closer. Shutting my eyes, I visualize the mountain. 416 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 2: Where has the water been on this ridge so far? 417 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,160 Speaker 2: It bubbles from up from underground streams and springs, likely 418 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 2: replenished by snow melt. When traveling with mods group, we 419 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,199 Speaker 2: found it by watching for different kinds of plant life. 420 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 2: There'd be dry slopes of yellow grasses and stiff woody brush, 421 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 2: and then in a fold in the mountain, a riot 422 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 2: of green. We'd make our way to this drainage and 423 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 2: follow it downhill or uphill, sometimes splitting into two groups 424 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 2: to go both ways, until we heard or smelled water. 425 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 2: It just rained a ton. I think back to my 426 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 2: night under the tarp, so that should help things. I 427 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 2: eyeball the blue plastic five gallon water container that sits 428 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 2: in the corner of the tower. I should take that 429 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 2: thing with me on my search for water. Empty, it'll 430 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 2: be light enough, but how will I even lift it 431 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 2: once it's full with my injured ribs. One thing at 432 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 2: a time, I say out loud to myself. In the cabinet, 433 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,199 Speaker 2: I find the first aid kit and rifle through it, 434 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 2: not expecting much. There's some ancient band aids that glue, 435 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 2: likely useless, a roll of gauze, some sterile wipes, and then, 436 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 2: good God, an amber colored pill bottle. It rattles in 437 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 2: my hand. It has pills inside. The label says doxy cycling, 438 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,199 Speaker 2: a fucking antibiotic. I can't believe my luck. I up 439 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: end the bottle that doesn't or so. Pills in my 440 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 2: palm are brown and oblong and have eye dash too 441 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 2: etched into them. These are not antibiotics, their ibuprofen. I 442 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 2: take a deep breath and tip the pills back into 443 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 2: the bottle, setting four aside. These will be helpful for 444 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 2: the pain. At least they'll make my water gathering trip 445 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 2: a bit easier. It takes a while to get down 446 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 2: the stairs. My body has grown stiffer as the day 447 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 2: has progressed. But by the time I'm walking along the 448 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 2: ridge away from the tower, following the faint jeep track 449 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 2: overgrown with weeds that heads more or less in a 450 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 2: westerly direction, the ibuprofen is kicked in, and the pain 451 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,679 Speaker 2: feels a little farther away. Isn't so sharp as to 452 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 2: make me want to throw up my mashed potatoes, which 453 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 2: is good because I wouldn't want to waste what little 454 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 2: food I have. The dog is trotting beside me, happy 455 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 2: to be walking in the sunshine, not a care in 456 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 2: the world. My leg has begun to throb, and I 457 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 2: try to ignore it, repeating the mantra one thing at 458 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 2: a time to myself and take it breaks whenever I 459 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 2: need them. Sitting on the water jug and staring out 460 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: over the valley below, I don't know how fast I'm walking, 461 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 2: or how much time has passed exactly, but it's afternoon 462 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 2: when the jeep track ends and a single footpath continues 463 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: on along the rocky ridge. The footpath drops down into 464 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 2: a cluster of trees, and I see a promising sight, 465 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:25,639 Speaker 2: a depression filled with green grass. I dig with my 466 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 2: fingers in the grass. The earth is dark and moist here, 467 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 2: but there's no standing water. Damn. Below the depression is 468 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 2: a cleft in the trees, dropping down, filled with rocks 469 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 2: and boulders. I should follow this. The going is slow, though, 470 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 2: with my jug and my injured legs and my ribs. 471 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 2: Each small drop down from a large boulder, dragging the 472 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 2: banging water drug after me makes me dizzy with pain 473 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 2: and hunger now too, and it takes me time to 474 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 2: steady myself for the next obstacle. My pace slows to 475 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 2: a crawl as the afternoon lengthens. I try not to 476 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 2: let panic cloud my decision making as I push on 477 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 2: down the boulder choked ravine. The ibuprofen is long since 478 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 2: worn off, and the last of the light is fading. 479 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 2: When I smell minerals and feel the air change on 480 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 2: my skin, I find the pool in the lee of 481 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,919 Speaker 2: a large granite boulder, clear water, about elbow deep in 482 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 2: the middle, dancing with water bugs. In this moment, the 483 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 2: rest of my worries drop away, and the pain and 484 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 2: panic induced fog clears. In this moment, I have solved 485 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 2: the greatest and most basic of life's puzzles, and I 486 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 2: want for nothing. I am happy in the purest sense. 487 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 2: I fill a water bottle and guzzle the entire thing. 488 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 2: Now for the hunger, I pull a freeze dried meal 489 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 2: from my backpack and laboriously crunch up and swallow a 490 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 2: few handfuls of the dried contents, which tastes like salt 491 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,080 Speaker 2: and not much else, followed by another bottle of cold, 492 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,920 Speaker 2: perfect water. The dog drinks his fill and gets part 493 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 2: of my meal too, and then settles down in the 494 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:03,719 Speaker 2: warm sand, ready for bed through the trees. I can 495 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 2: see the molden orange of the sunset, and I allow 496 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 2: a moment of perfect contentment to pass before I ask 497 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 2: myself what exactly I mean to do now? The cold 498 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 2: is coming and I'm already chilled the heat of the day. 499 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 2: Escaping into the atmosphere, I brought my sleeping bag with me, 500 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 2: and I decide to sleep here next to the water 501 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 2: and figure out what my next steps will be in 502 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 2: the morning when the sun returns. Animals will want to 503 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 2: use this watering hole in the night, most likely, and 504 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 2: I don't want to spook or be spooked by them, 505 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 2: So I walk a little bit into the trees until 506 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 2: I find a flat, dry patch of ground. I'm more 507 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 2: than exhausted, my broken body aching in new ways from 508 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 2: trying to compensate for its injuries while I hike down 509 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 2: this ravine, and it feels blissful to escape into the 510 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 2: warm depths of my sleeping bag. The dog like a 511 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 2: hot water bottle against me, and cinch the hood closed 512 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 2: over my face, leaving just my nose sticking out. It's 513 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 2: warm in my down cocoon, and the forest is peaceful 514 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 2: and still, and sleep comes easily. My sleep is full 515 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 2: of nightmares, and I wake multiple times in the night, 516 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 2: unsure at first where I am some part of my 517 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 2: body uncomfortable or in pain. I roll over with difficulty 518 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 2: and drift off, only to wake again in a new 519 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 2: kind of pain. I'm relieved when the first of the 520 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 2: light begins to bleed into the sky, and I lay there, 521 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 2: eyes open, listening to the sounds of the forest aching 522 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 2: and almost but not quite warm enough, and wait impatiently 523 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 2: for the warmth of the sun. Dawn finds me sitting 524 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,040 Speaker 2: on the sand next to the pool, shivering slightly, using 525 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 2: one of my water bottles to fill the five gallon jug. 526 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 2: Soon most of the pool is inside the jug, water, 527 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 2: bugs and all, and I am contemplating how to get 528 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,360 Speaker 2: the beastly heavy thing back up the ravine to the ridge. 529 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 2: Lifting it is out of the question, just one half 530 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 2: hearted try, and my ribs are screaming at me. But 531 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 2: maybe I can drag it. The dog sits a little 532 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 2: bit away in a patch of sun and watches without 533 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 2: judgment as I use my knife trim the hem of 534 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 2: my dress in one long, spiraling strip. The fabric twists 535 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 2: easily into a small rope that is not I decide 536 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,959 Speaker 2: strong enough to pull five gallons of water, and I 537 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 2: reluctantly return half the drug to the pool. Although I 538 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 2: am disappointed, this turn of events pleases the water bugs greatly. 539 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 2: One end of the rope ties to the handle of 540 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 2: the water drug, and the other I wrap around a 541 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 2: fixed stick, which will be easier to hold onto than 542 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 2: the rope itself. I take a few tentative steps up 543 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 2: the slope, my feet digging into the deep pine needles. 544 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 2: The jug tugs me back, and then a bright pain 545 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 2: as my core engages moving my broken rib, plus the dull, 546 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 2: throbbing pain in my leg. Fuck, there is no way 547 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 2: I can pull this drug uphill. My head turns to 548 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 2: static again, and I sit on the sun warmed ground 549 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 2: and try to gather myself. I mustn't panic. The situation 550 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 2: is very bad, but panicking will make it worse. I 551 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 2: must not make things worse. Dog pads over to me 552 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 2: and climbs in my lap, curls into a doughnut, and 553 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 2: shuts his eyes. He's not worried. He trusts in my 554 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 2: ability to figure things out. Oh that I was as 555 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 2: clever and powerful as my dog thinks I am. I 556 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 2: shew the dog off and ease myself up again, slowly 557 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 2: so as to not jostle my ribs, and stare at 558 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 2: the water jug, willing myself to solve this puzzle. I 559 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 2: can't carry the jug. I can't drag the jug. What 560 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 2: can I do? The water sloshes as I pour the 561 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 2: rest of it back into the pool. I chug a 562 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 2: leader and fill the two bottles in my backpack. These 563 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 2: two leaders are all I can carry, but at least 564 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 2: it's more water than I had yesterday. The ravine looks 565 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 2: completely different on the climb up, and I recognize almost nothing. 566 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 2: I chastise myself for not noting more landmarks, but my 567 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 2: experience on the way down was clouded heavily by thirst, exhaustion, 568 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 2: and pain. Still, next time, I should be more careful. 569 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 2: When I'm half way to the top, I sit for 570 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 2: a long moment and let the pain subside. Want to 571 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 2: sit there forever, but make myself stand again. Hunger is 572 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 2: making me dizzy. The freeze dried meal I ate last 573 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 2: night was the only food I brought, and I've already 574 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 2: burned through the little bit I saved and ate for breakfast. 575 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 2: I imagine dumpsters full of stale bread sheet cakes stolen 576 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,239 Speaker 2: off the backs of trucks, greasy street food, and other 577 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 2: abundances of the city. I imagine Georgia, her soft fingers 578 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 2: on my scalp as she braids my hair, and the 579 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,959 Speaker 2: first light on the rooftop whispering to me about her 580 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 2: dreams the night before. Would I have been better off 581 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 2: if I just stayed yes for a little while? And 582 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 2: then that world is behind me, I say aloud, as 583 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 2: I brush the pine needles off my dress and pick 584 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 2: up the blue jug again. That world is lost, and 585 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 2: in its place, I've gained something I didn't even know 586 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 2: I'd been missing. These mountains, the arid valleys. I mean 587 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 2: to try and find my mother, and I mean to 588 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 2: make my home here, figure out what to eat and 589 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 2: how to live and where the people are, or maybe 590 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 2: just die trying. D D. That's the end, damn right. 591 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: You can really tell it's written by somebody who knows 592 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: what it's like to be out in the middle of 593 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: nowhere without any kind of technological assistance, just like you know, 594 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: surviving based on your wits and whatever you happen to 595 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: have in your backpack, which is more minimal than like 596 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 1: the most prepper types at least they're going to put 597 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,560 Speaker 1: in a YouTube video, right like this is Yeah, this 598 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: is somebody who's like spent a lot of time dealing 599 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: with the problems of like there's not water or not 600 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: clean water, or like I've gotten myself sick or hurt 601 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: and now I have to figure. 602 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 2: It out on my own. Yeah, no, totally. Like I 603 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 2: remember the first time I read this. I read some 604 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 2: like ya book when I was a kid, and I'd 605 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 2: run away from home at one point by that point, 606 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 2: and i'd like slept outside and I did not sleep, right. 607 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 2: I was too cold. It was you know, June, and 608 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,799 Speaker 2: it was too cold, and I couldn't sleep. And so 609 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,280 Speaker 2: I read this book and the kid like runs away 610 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,120 Speaker 2: and sleeps on a park bench and just like goes 611 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,879 Speaker 2: to sleep, And I'm like, Nope, this motherfucker whoever wrote 612 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 2: this is never slept outside, never slept hard. Yeah you 613 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 2: know that first night you're sleeping outside by yourself. No 614 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 2: you're not. Yeah, not without a not without a sleeping bag. 615 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 1: No, No, I mean not even like honestly like sleeping, 616 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:39,359 Speaker 1: not even just sleeping hard, sleeping like medium, Yeah, part 617 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 1: I don't know what you call like when you're not 618 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: like out in the middle of nowhere or whatever, but 619 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,960 Speaker 1: like because of some sort of situation like you're you're 620 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,839 Speaker 1: traveling around and shit gets fucked up with a card 621 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 1: or whatever. Like if I had to like crash on 622 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 1: benches in you know, uh, airports or whatever, and like 623 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,800 Speaker 1: that's not really sleeping, let alone being out in the 624 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 1: woods alone for the first time. 625 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, yeah, no, but yeah, and you're right. That 626 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,560 Speaker 2: is the thing that I really liked about When I 627 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 2: was reading this story. I was like, Oh, and it's 628 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 2: also like it's a good infotainment too, right, because you're 629 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 2: like I've done I've been in the woods a lot 630 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 2: and stuff, but I've never been without water in the woods, right, Yeah, 631 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,759 Speaker 2: and so I've never had to do the work of like, oh, 632 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 2: that's where the grass is and follow that. Yeah, and 633 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 2: you can tell that either Carrot has and I mean 634 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 2: I've I've read her through hiking stuff, so I know 635 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 2: that she's run out of water on a hike before, 636 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 2: you know, but like knows the actual answers. And I 637 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 2: think that's really cool. 638 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. That happened to me once in the Himalayas, and 639 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: it was because I was with someone else's the only 640 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: reason I really got out of that situation because I 641 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: was like heat stroking out and don't think I would 642 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: have had the presence of mine too, And so it 643 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 1: was like she basically kept me going and literally like 644 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,439 Speaker 1: crawling across the ground until we found a stream where 645 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,880 Speaker 1: we could ref phil and thankfully we had tablets and 646 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 1: stuff on us. But like, yeah, I don't know what 647 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,400 Speaker 1: I would have done if I had been alone in 648 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: that situation, because like I was in pain, and that's 649 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,240 Speaker 1: all the other thing. The degree to which like being 650 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 1: in pain, like physically injured when you're alone in a 651 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:20,400 Speaker 1: situation like this is like an intoxication effect, right, Like 652 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,239 Speaker 1: not in a positive sense, but in the sense that 653 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 1: it sort of like deranges your ability to make choices. 654 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:29,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like that first snap the character takes 655 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,879 Speaker 2: is so real, you know, the like, ah, I need 656 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 2: to do a million things. I just got out of 657 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 2: a really bad situation. Good night. You know that's so real. 658 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,160 Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited to read this book. When is it out? 659 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 2: I don't think there's an actual date yet. So I 660 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 2: just want to want to let people know that they 661 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,280 Speaker 2: should be on the lookout and they should follow Carrot, 662 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 2: and they should Carrot has a sub stack and does 663 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 2: a lot of like travel blog stuff. And again, I 664 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 2: really enjoyed Through Hiking Will Break your Heart, and I 665 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 2: expect I will really enjoy The Sunset Route, which is 666 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 2: the memoir that talks a little bit more about the 667 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 2: pre her life before, like what letter to be, popping 668 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 2: trains and all that stuff. But I haven't read that 669 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,880 Speaker 2: one yet, but I really like. Okay, I like then. 670 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,400 Speaker 2: The thing I like that is I like the immediacy 671 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 2: of the writing. I like that it is written like 672 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:27,120 Speaker 2: someone who is a through hiking blogger as an apocalypse walker, 673 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 2: you know, like you don't read a lot of present 674 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 2: tense writing. 675 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I like too. And you can tell this 676 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 1: is by someone who knows their shit, because this is 677 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: how it's angled, or at least how this part's angled. 678 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: Where like scrubs who have never been outside of the 679 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: city for any real period of time, who've never been 680 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,799 Speaker 1: out on their own, need to imagine like zombies or 681 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:53,759 Speaker 1: some shit to make the apocalypse scary real heads, No, 682 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,799 Speaker 1: the scariest thing is just being alone out in a 683 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,920 Speaker 1: situation where there's absolutely no chance of rescue. 684 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally, because that's plenty of danger. Yeah, days 685 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 2: and days could go by with everything being completely fine 686 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 2: and then you can crash your bike and then you're like, 687 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 2: well now what you know? 688 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 1: Yep. 689 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,320 Speaker 2: The times that I feel the most I'm a grown 690 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 2: up now is when I am doing something and something 691 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,640 Speaker 2: goes wrong and I am the only one who can 692 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 2: fix it, you know, and I don't like that feeling. 693 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 694 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,439 Speaker 2: I want to be able to like do things collaboratively 695 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,000 Speaker 2: or have other people take care of me. 696 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:35,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know, it's it's it's also it's scary 697 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 1: that kind of shit. I mean, it depends on how 698 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: fast in them, because there's fast emergencies and slow emergencies. 699 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: Right there's the if I don't act right now, someone 700 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 1: is going to die for whatever reason or I will 701 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 1: be beyond rescue. And then there's slow emergencies where it's 702 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,360 Speaker 1: like there's not really a ticking clock, but if I 703 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 1: don't figure this out, at some point, things will will 704 00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 1: like inevitably degrade. And uh yeah, the fast emergencies in 705 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:07,480 Speaker 1: the moment, if you get through them, there's only so 706 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: much fear that you can actually have because you you know, 707 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: you have very little time. Right You're making a choice 708 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,680 Speaker 1: in interacting it's the weeks afterwards when you realize, like, 709 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 1: oh shit, if I hadn't made exactly the right choice 710 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,719 Speaker 1: in this one moment, like the consequences would have been nightmarish, 711 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,640 Speaker 1: and like you kind of ye in some cases, spend 712 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,239 Speaker 1: the rest of your life thinking about that. 713 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,799 Speaker 2: Yeah. One time I was driving my van that I 714 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,680 Speaker 2: lived in through the mountains and it was just a 715 00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 2: sudden blizzard and I spun one point eighty on a 716 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 2: mountain curvy road on the freeway in the snow, with 717 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 2: like no control over my van, and it was just 718 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:49,479 Speaker 2: slow motion. And then I didn't go over the edge. 719 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,480 Speaker 2: I did a like eighteen point turn to get back 720 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 2: and then just kept driving through this blizzard. But it 721 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,600 Speaker 2: was nothing I could do for like the next what 722 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 2: should have been two hour drive of him was like 723 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 2: a five or six hour drive, you know. And that's 724 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,439 Speaker 2: the slow motion one eighty turn sucked the next five 725 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:13,600 Speaker 2: hours where no one could I the only way out 726 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 2: was through you know. Yeah, and you're like, Okay, this 727 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 2: is what I'm doing. 728 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 1: Fuck up? 729 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah. No. 730 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 1: I had a situation where I was out in the 731 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 1: middle of nowhere in the mountains with a friend in 732 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:32,440 Speaker 1: her dog and I'm keeping some details from this because 733 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: there's some stuff I shouldn't say. But both the first, 734 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 1: her dog fell into this very fast moving stream of water, 735 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,520 Speaker 1: and she, without kind of thinking, dove in after it 736 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 1: and was it was attempting to like grab the dog, 737 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,399 Speaker 1: like had a hold on it as it was getting pulled, 738 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,880 Speaker 1: and then it got pulled down and she wound up 739 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: getting pulled into the water just because of the speed 740 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,759 Speaker 1: of it, and yelled for me to go, like save 741 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 1: her dog. So I started running down and then like 742 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 1: ten feet on, I'm like, what the fuck am I? 743 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,719 Speaker 1: I have to get her out of the water. And 744 00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,279 Speaker 1: it was one of those like if I hadn't you know, 745 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 1: done strength trained, because she weighed probably an extra eighty 746 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,839 Speaker 1: pounds with all of the water inflating her winter year 747 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,520 Speaker 1: and everything, you know, if I hadn't you know, had 748 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,439 Speaker 1: the physical strength to get her out, if I had 749 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 1: run a little further down the path before turning back 750 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 1: to come get her, like because the dog, by the way, 751 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 1: was fine. It's a dog, like it got sucked into 752 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,719 Speaker 1: the water and then and then it got it get 753 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,319 Speaker 1: crawled out of the water when it calmed down. But 754 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,400 Speaker 1: I don't know that she would have been right, Like 755 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 1: in fact, I doubt she would have. And it's one 756 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,280 Speaker 1: of those things that like I haven't because we were 757 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,760 Speaker 1: completely out in the middle of nowhere, no cell service 758 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,239 Speaker 1: or anything. We were an hour walk from our car, 759 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 1: So it was like one of those as little like 760 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,880 Speaker 1: you know, it was just my decisions in that moment 761 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,200 Speaker 1: that we're going to have an impact on the situation. 762 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,680 Speaker 1: And it was fine, and it was you know, maybe 763 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 1: ninety seconds, but it's ninety seconds that I will be 764 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,360 Speaker 1: thinking about for the next fifty years or you know, 765 00:41:59,560 --> 00:41:59,879 Speaker 1: over long. 766 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 3: Totally. 767 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. God, well, if you want to experience that in 768 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:12,359 Speaker 2: fiction form instead of yeah, you know, and I mean, 769 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,960 Speaker 2: and that's why we read adventure. You know, it's like 770 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 2: is to experience that safely because we do experience it otherwise, 771 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,399 Speaker 2: but it's nicer when you can experience it safely. And 772 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 2: for more daring stories of adventure, wait for more Cool 773 00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,200 Speaker 2: Zone Media book club every Sunday on that's right, people 774 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 2: who did cool stuff and it could happen here. 775 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: Feed Yes, that's right, and check out our upcoming book 776 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 1: club reading Rainbow but spelled the way they do in 777 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 1: Louisiana like E A U X and it's it's just 778 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,279 Speaker 1: the same stories as in the book club, but we 779 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 1: do a fake Cajun accent. So that's right, you know, 780 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 1: that is all Robert. It's entirely, entirely me. I'll have 781 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 1: a guest that I cook an etu fe for. Uh 782 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,600 Speaker 1: don't even know what an attufe is, but I know 783 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,719 Speaker 1: it's fucking casion, so you know, yeah, check in for 784 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:06,160 Speaker 1: that one. 785 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, at the end, we eat beignets. That's all. 786 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: I've been called offensive by the Cajun anti defamation leak, but. 787 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:20,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's right, that's right. 788 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,479 Speaker 1: What are they gonna do, come up from the swamps. Yeah, 789 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,000 Speaker 1: they'll never make it in the mountains. 790 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:32,080 Speaker 2: Nah, they probably would probably pretty pretty impressive people. Well, 791 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 2: if I survived till next week, I'll have another story 792 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 2: for you. See you all soon. 793 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,320 Speaker 3: It Could Happen here as a production of cool Zone Media. 794 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,200 Speaker 3: For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website 795 00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,480 Speaker 3: cool Zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the 796 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 3: Iheard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. 797 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,640 Speaker 3: You can find sources for It Could Happen Here, updated 798 00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 3: monthly at cool Zone Media dot com. Slash sources. Thanks 799 00:43:59,200 --> 00:43:59,720 Speaker 3: for listening,