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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes.

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Speaker 2: We'll get into the episode. My cousin trashed the house

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Speaker 2: and blamed us for it.

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Speaker 3: Well, sir, we saw you.

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Speaker 2: My dad never knew his biological father.

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Speaker 4: It felt like a family secret until we found answers

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Speaker 4: through ancestry in twenty twenty four. Turns out it wasn't

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Speaker 4: really a secret, just a truck driver who played with

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Speaker 4: my grandmother's emotions until she had a kid. His aunts

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Speaker 4: and uncles were old school mean, except for Uncle Bee

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Speaker 4: and Aunt Te. By the way, this comes from user

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Speaker 4: appropriate Ruins seven two six to two, and if you

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Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the art

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Speaker 4: slash oh Okay Storytime sub bredd it. Uncle Barry had

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Speaker 4: a daughter called Tanya, and she and my father were close.

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Speaker 4: Favorite cousins, the kind everyone has. Uncle Berry's wife wasn't great,

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Speaker 4: but Barry was genuinely cool, the type who forgives a

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Speaker 4: little too easily. Since Uncle Barry was a father.

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Speaker 2: Figure to my dad. That trait got passed down somewhere

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Speaker 2: in my dad's desire to be loved. He has let

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Speaker 2: people walk all over.

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Speaker 4: Him his whole life. I'm working on breaking that same habit,

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Speaker 4: and it's hard to unlearn. My mother was the stronger

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Speaker 4: half of their perfect balance.

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Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, my.

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Speaker 4: Father isn't weak, but he strives to be good like Barry,

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Speaker 4: his brother. His idea of being a good man means

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Speaker 4: taking care of people and following the Golden rule. But

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Speaker 4: his need for connection makes him an easy target. Mom

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Speaker 4: would let him be gracious, but would call out people taking.

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Speaker 2: Advantage of him face to face. She was more rational

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Speaker 2: and logical.

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Speaker 4: In twenty fifteen, she was diagnosed with stage four camp

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Speaker 4: She lived longer than anyone expected, and it was only really.

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Speaker 2: Bad in the last year, isn't it always.

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Speaker 4: Tanya is married to John and they have one child,

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Speaker 4: m Marty, who's around my younger sister's.

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Speaker 2: Age thirteen to fourteen.

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Speaker 4: During this conflict, Tanya told me and my mother that

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Speaker 4: John had a pill problem since a work accident and

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Speaker 4: cheated on her with the local supermarket employee, and when

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Speaker 4: Tanya had to see every time she shopped, which made

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Speaker 4: the humiliation worse. At some point, Tanya took Marty and

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Speaker 4: moved out. They divorced, but eventually got back together while

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Speaker 4: staying legally divorced. In twenty twenty, while Tanya and John

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Speaker 4: were separated, I met my now husband and we moved

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Speaker 4: in together after three months. Yes, that sounds crazy, but

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Speaker 4: that's what life had in store for us. My room

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Speaker 4: was empty, and since my mother and Tanya were good friends,

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Speaker 4: Mom offered her that room. The plan was for them

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Speaker 4: to establish stability and then moved to Florida to be

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Speaker 4: closer to my dad. Although Mom never wanted John around,

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Speaker 4: she kept the room offer open. Most importantly, she knew

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Speaker 4: my father didn't have much family left.

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Speaker 2: His mother had.

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Speaker 4: Passed and he was estranged with his sister due to

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Speaker 4: past drama. Mom felt that having more good family around

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Speaker 4: him would make her eventual loss easier on him. In

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Speaker 4: January twenty twenty two, Tanya and John moved into my

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Speaker 4: old room. They brought more than initially agreed upon, like

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Speaker 4: a huge, hyper untrained poodle and two foster children. They'd

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Speaker 4: been working with a lawyer to relocate the kids. Like

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Speaker 4: many foster children, came with issues, but we made it work.

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Speaker 4: It is a three bedroom, two bath, double wide trailer.

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Speaker 4: The adults shared a room, my sister shared hers with Marty,

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Speaker 4: and the two foster girls had bunk beds in the

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Speaker 4: living room. Only the primary bathroom had a shower, so

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Speaker 4: everyone had to go through my parents' bedroom. My sister

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Speaker 4: and I had a claw foot tub bathroom. My mother's

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Speaker 4: dream set up for soaken. Each bedroom had a window unit,

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Speaker 4: and common areas had a poorly functioning central ac. Mom

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Speaker 4: would keep bedroom doors closed during the day to help

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Speaker 4: cool the house, then everyone could close their doors at night.

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Speaker 4: My mother passed away that June in twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 4: the same month my now husband proposed he had asked

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Speaker 4: her permission months prior, and I found out I was pregnant.

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Speaker 4: My sister stayed with me that summer for comfort and space.

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Speaker 4: When she returned home, there was constant bickering. Tanya complained

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Speaker 4: my sister wasn't respectful, and honestly, sometimes she wasn't, but

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Speaker 4: she was a young teenager who'd lost her mom and

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Speaker 4: didn't even have her own space anymore. Tanya would complain

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Speaker 4: about my city keeping her door closed while she cooked dinner.

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Speaker 4: I tried to stay out of it, understanding both sides.

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Speaker 4: My father worked four am to five pm driving trucks locally,

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Speaker 4: John worked through a family connection, and Tanya worked remotely.

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Speaker 4: She had asked to upgrade the internet and discuss taking

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Speaker 4: over cable and internet payments with my mother before she passed.

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Speaker 4: Since John liked cable, she was given account permissions to

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Speaker 4: pay bills. She took overpower, cable, and internet, no rent required.

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Speaker 4: She also bought food with her benefits, though that was unexpected.

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Speaker 4: She maintained these bills while Mom was alive, but stopped

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Speaker 4: paying them without telling anyone, and they piled up.

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Speaker 2: We gotta tell people.

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Speaker 4: When we stop paying the bills when we're living with

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Speaker 4: other people.

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Speaker 3: That's an important.

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Speaker 2: Thing, kind of super important.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you get to live somewhere.

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Speaker 4: You gotta pay the bills with the start turns off.

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Speaker 4: Four months after Mom passed, my father started talking to

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Speaker 4: a woman on a dating app my mother had set

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Speaker 4: up for him. He was so worried about what people

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Speaker 4: thought that he he asked my permission, which I thought

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Speaker 4: was wild. He's my dad, but I'm thirty and moved

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Speaker 4: out and engaged. He only needed permission if he brought

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Speaker 4: someone around my sister and from her, not me. I

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Speaker 4: messaged the woman's daughter, who's my age, and she said

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Speaker 4: they were just talking lots of calls and texts, but

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Speaker 4: they hadn't even met in person yet.

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Speaker 2: Both had lost spouses, so I was happy for them.

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Speaker 4: But somehow rumors started that he was leaving my sister

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Speaker 4: with Tanya to go see this woman when he was

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Speaker 4: actually just riding motorcycles with my uncle Barry. A blow

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Speaker 4: up happened when Tanya told my grandmother and sister he

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Speaker 4: was effing another woman. After this, Tanya and John decided

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Speaker 4: to move by December. I was honestly happy. My sister

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Speaker 4: needed the space and my father needed the peace. In

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Speaker 4: November of twenty twenty two, before Thanksgiving, the power and

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Speaker 4: internet were behind. I asked them to make payment arrangements

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Speaker 4: and Tanya sent me a screenshot showing she had. The

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Speaker 4: day after Thanksgiving, I went into early labor. Wow, oh

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Speaker 4: my gosh, it just has.

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Speaker 2: Not It did not stop for you at all all

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Speaker 2: of twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this whole story is like just ohen this happened,

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Speaker 3: and this happened, and this happened. It's like I need

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Speaker 3: a breather.

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Speaker 2: This family was in a hurricane.

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Speaker 4: That ah, my phone was being blown up by automatic

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Speaker 4: calls from utility companies. I was busy and didn't want

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Speaker 4: to worry my father, so I texted him to have

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Speaker 4: Tanya call about the arrangements.

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Speaker 2: He said, okay. A few weeks later, Dad called because

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Speaker 2: the power was out. I logged into check and.

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Speaker 4: Saw eleven hundred dollars due with a five hundred and

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Speaker 4: eighty dollars minimum to restore service. When I called about

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Speaker 4: the arrangement, they said my phone number on the account

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Speaker 4: had been changed, so I hadn't been getting calls for months.

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Speaker 4: The payment arrangement I'd received a screenshot of had been

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Speaker 4: made and then canceled. Thinking something had happened, I called

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Speaker 4: to suggest a payday advance place to get power restored.

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Speaker 2: I would never do that. Don't ever do that.

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Speaker 4: Five hundred and eighty dollars worth of assets you have

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Speaker 4: to sell if at all possible. Payday advance loans have

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Speaker 4: interest rates of like thirteen hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes oh, it's an in saying amount.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's a very predatory loan rate.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're not all that bad, but if you go

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Speaker 4: to the wrong place, good luck paying that loan off.

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Speaker 3: Yikes. Yeah, to avoid that, you just got to change

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Speaker 3: your sleep schedule. Wake up with the sun, go to

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Speaker 3: sleep with it, and invest in a few flashlights. That's

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Speaker 3: cheaper than the thirteen hundred you know whatever interest rate

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Speaker 3: cold showers.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, hopefully there's a river nearby. We can just start homesteading.

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Speaker 4: Go back to the olden days. Yeah, before you take

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Speaker 4: a paid eighty van slam. So my calls then went

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Speaker 4: to voicemail. When I called Marty's phone, John answered, said hey,

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Speaker 4: then hung up and blocked me. They moved out that

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Speaker 4: month to live with Tanya's mother. I found out from

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Speaker 4: family that she literally said they never intended to pay

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Speaker 4: any of it. Eleven hundred for power, nine to seventy

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Speaker 4: for internet. They'd also broken the air conditioner at the

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Speaker 4: washer end oven during their stay.

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Speaker 2: In my grief from losing my mother, I was angry.

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Speaker 4: I texted her that it was messed up and she'd

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Speaker 4: taken advantage of my father, left the house damage and

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Speaker 4: never paid what she agreed to, and her foster children

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Speaker 4: had stolen from us. The meanest thing I said was

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Speaker 4: about how I was at the hospital and getting calls

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Speaker 4: about bills she'd sent fake screenshots about she knew she

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Speaker 4: was lying and still spread rumors about my father to

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Speaker 4: my sister and grandmother. For that, I told her I

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Speaker 4: wish her the worst. She replied with vicious words before

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Speaker 4: blocking me. My father ended up in bankruptcy trying to

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Speaker 4: catch up financially after my mother's passing. Here's her final text, unchanged.

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Speaker 4: First of all, we kissed butt down there for far

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Speaker 4: too long. We bought over three thousand dollars worth of

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Speaker 4: groceries while we were there, and we did all the

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Speaker 4: cooking and cleaning, while your sister and father sat on

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Speaker 4: their butts and acted like we were their slaves, all

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Speaker 4: while your sister was nothing but a disrespectful, effing brat

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Speaker 4: your mother, who, by the way, if she was still alive,

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Speaker 4: would probably disown you off for everything that has happened,

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Speaker 4: all the way down to not honoring her last wishes

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Speaker 4: and blowing money hand over fist instead of spending the

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Speaker 4: money the way she wanted it spent. She told us

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Speaker 4: when we came there that she wanted us to save

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Speaker 4: money to find a place to live after six months,

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Speaker 4: and we, out of the kindness of our hearts, said

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Speaker 4: that we would cover the lights and cable the entire

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Speaker 4: time we were paying those. We never had any money

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Speaker 4: to save after that groceries, while your father and sister

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Speaker 4: chose to go out to eat every day and had

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Speaker 4: a great big time while we were paying all that

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Speaker 4: what we paid and paid in groceries and the slave

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Speaker 4: work that we did.

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Speaker 2: You're living somewhere, not paying rent. You're not paying rent

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Speaker 2: to live somewhere. I'm done supporting them. Do not dial

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Speaker 2: my number, Jonathan's number, or my number ever again. No wonder,

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Speaker 2: there's no family that wants anything to do with you all.

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Speaker 2: I don't owe any of you anything.

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Speaker 4: You need to also tell your father to not dial

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Speaker 4: my daughter's number ever again. I'm done with you people.

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Speaker 4: A bunch of lazy expects everyone to wait on using

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Speaker 4: trashy efforts.

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Speaker 2: Don't reach out to us again.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and f you.

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Speaker 2: For the record, my mother's wishes were honored.

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Speaker 4: I used the life insurance to pay bills in advance

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Speaker 4: and put the rest in my sister's account. Tanya never

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Speaker 4: cleaned by the way she made her foster children do it.

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Speaker 4: She cooked like she was feeding twenty people, while my

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Speaker 4: father thanked her profusely and suggested smaller portions and those

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Speaker 4: handful of dinners.

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Speaker 2: My dad and sister went to.

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Speaker 4: That's rich coming f someone who used to take Marty

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Speaker 4: to get food and make her eat in the car

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Speaker 4: so the foster kids wouldn't know about it.

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Speaker 2: I'm still bitter, I still hate her. This feels like

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Speaker 2: letting go.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, go to you know, if you can

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Speaker 4: find a resource to, you know, have therapy to talk

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Speaker 4: about this, we'd probably be really beneficial. But the first

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Speaker 4: step of letting go is probably letting it all out,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 3: Oh for sure. I cut off both of our grandmothers.

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Speaker 3: Now everyone's calling me heartless.

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Speaker 2: I mean, optically it might look that way.

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Speaker 3: So here we go. To start this story, we have

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Speaker 3: to go back two years for the backstory. I twenty

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Speaker 3: six female, have three kids. At the time, my oldest

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Speaker 3: son was six, my daughter was three, and my youngest

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Speaker 3: boy was two weeks old. I was at swim lessons

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Speaker 3: with my oldest son and daughter when I got the

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Speaker 3: call that my grandmother had broken her leg and wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be able to put weight on it for eight weeks,

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Speaker 3: requiring surgery.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: So, as any other granddaughter would, I went straight to her.

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Speaker 3: By the way, This comes from Mama Adulting on the

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Speaker 3: r s lash Dobra YouTube subreddit, and if you want

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Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 3: okay storytime subreddit. For six weeks, I was the main

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Speaker 3: caretaker of my grandmother. Her cousin came to help occasionally

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Speaker 3: to give me a break, as I was a single

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Speaker 3: mom at the time. While taking care of her, my

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Speaker 3: daughter fell and broke her collar bone, so my days

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Speaker 3: went from stressful to completely overwhelming. My grandmother started being

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Speaker 3: extremely hateful towards me. My cooking wasn't done exactly as

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Speaker 3: she would do it. She doesn't even cook even before this.

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Speaker 5: I shouldn't wear my hair straight, I should stop front airbag.

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Speaker 3: Feeding my youngest son. It got so bad that even

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Speaker 3: her cousin pulled me aside one day to apologize because

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Speaker 3: the comments were becoming so hateful. She felt bad for me.

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Speaker 3: When the six weeks were up and she could walk

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Speaker 3: with a boot, my grandfather, they're divorced, had to have

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Speaker 3: open heart surgery. Oh my gosh. With her being better

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Speaker 3: and me not wanting to take the youth anymore, I

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Speaker 3: became his caretaker when he got out of the hospital.

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Speaker 3: Her context I lived with him, so this was much easier.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward, he's all healed and starting to do things

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Speaker 3: on his own when I get a call from my grandmother.

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Speaker 3: This time it wasn't for caregiving, but to tell me

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Speaker 3: that she needed newspapers to wrap breakable things, as she

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Speaker 3: said I might be having to move. I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'd bring some over later.

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Speaker 2: In the week.

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Speaker 3: That night, I told my parents about the phone call.

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Speaker 3: They were confused since when she bought the house, she'd

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Speaker 3: paid in full with no mortgage, so my dad texted

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Speaker 3: her to see if he could sell it for her.

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Speaker 3: He's in real estate. The text he got back made

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Speaker 3: our jaws hit the floor. She told him, no, stay

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Speaker 3: out of my efic business. And this is when Dad

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Speaker 3: found out that she had taken out a reverse mortgage

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Speaker 3: and lost the house in foreclosure. We knew that she

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Speaker 3: had a gambling problem, but had no idea how bad

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Speaker 3: it truly was. The next day, I took over the papers,

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Speaker 3: but she wasn't home. I called her. She was out somewhere,

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Speaker 3: but I wouldn't say where. The noise in the background

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Speaker 3: sounded like a packed out bar. I told my dad

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Speaker 3: I was dropping off the papers, and she said to

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Speaker 3: leave them in the living room. This is where it

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Speaker 3: gets messy. I went snooping, figuring i'd find out how

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Speaker 3: long she had until she had to be out, or

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Speaker 3: documents showing money that she owed wrong. I found not one,

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Speaker 3: but three notes addressed to my mom, dad, and uncle.

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Speaker 3: I started reading the one to my dad, couldn't get

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Speaker 3: past the first paragraph, so I quickly took pictures of them,

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Speaker 3: put everything back, and started frantically calling my dad. When

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Speaker 3: he answered, I was already out of the house to

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Speaker 3: find her. He told me where to look. He'd found

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Speaker 3: her at illegal gambling places in town before we live,

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Speaker 3: where gambling is illegal. My dad went to the house,

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Speaker 3: got the notes, and immediately went to the sheriff's department

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Speaker 3: to file a report, and I found her. She was gambling.

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Speaker 3: My mom had my oldest son and daughter out for

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Speaker 3: the night, so while my youngest slept in his car seat,

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00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,840
Speaker 3: I sat in the parking lot waiting for her to

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Speaker 3: come out. Finally came out and I followed her home.

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Speaker 3: The next day, my mom and I were standing in

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Speaker 3: the kitchen crying about everything when I got the call

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Speaker 3: to come get her from the hospital. Since they were

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Speaker 3: releasing her. We brought her straight to my mom's house,

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Speaker 3: where she tried to blame my children for her gambling problem, saying.

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Speaker 5: Y'all used to play cards with me every week.

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Speaker 3: Till the oldest was born, and then got too busy,

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Speaker 3: so now I go play games.

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Speaker 6: She's like, well, you guys don't play cards with me,

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Speaker 6: so what else am.

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Speaker 3: I gonna do?

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Speaker 4: And again, that's like somebody who's in addiction is like

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Speaker 4: never like and is not able to take personal accountability

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Speaker 4: for you.

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Speaker 2: Yet like that's what they're gonna do. It's always gonna

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Speaker 2: be a deflect.

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Speaker 3: There's a blame game, for sure. She went on about

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Speaker 3: how you have never done anything for me, as if

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Speaker 3: I hadn't dropped my entire life to take care of

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Speaker 3: her when she broke her leg. After that, I went

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Speaker 3: no contact for a year. Flash forward, I started dating

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Speaker 3: my now fiance Mail twenty eight, we'll call him Alan.

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Speaker 3: I started allowing small interactions with my grandmother again, because

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Speaker 3: even though she'd been hateful, I didn't want to deny

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Speaker 3: my children access to their great grandmother. This was a

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Speaker 3: huge mistake. She wouldn't show up to things like my

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00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,400
Speaker 3: daughter's dance recitals because she had a card game with friends.

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Speaker 3: She would ask if I had bring the kids over,

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00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,440
Speaker 3: and if I said yes, she'd send a list of

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00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 3: things that she wanted me to pick up at the store.

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00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,240
Speaker 3: This became a weekly thing. Things finally hit the breaking

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00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,600
Speaker 3: point when three months ago, my dad got a call

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Speaker 3: from a woman he used to work with. The woman

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00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,320
Speaker 3: said that my grandmother had called her asking to borrow

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Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars. We found out that my grandmother had

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00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 3: borrowed money from over seventy friends and family members. No,

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Speaker 3: why do you keep track of that?

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Speaker 2: Dude? That's way too much.

345
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Speaker 5: How do you even know that that number is that high?

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Speaker 3: I would lose tracks so hard.

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Speaker 2: That's way They probably all started to group together.

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00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does sound like kind. Yeah, gambling is not

349
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,640
Speaker 3: allowed in in their little town. My mom called her

350
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,320
Speaker 3: and said, either get help for your gambling or don't

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00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 3: contact any of us again. The next day I received

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00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,080
Speaker 3: three calls from her, all crying until the third call

353
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 3: she said, They transferred me, do you have a battery

354
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,160
Speaker 3: powered fan? We can't have anything with chords here, but

355
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 3: this poor nurse is having the worst hot flashes, and

356
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,160
Speaker 3: I told her you could bring her a fan.

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00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 4: All right, So she's in an in pace and psychiatric

358
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,280
Speaker 4: facility clearly, Yeah, because there's no chords allowed.

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00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the chords. No, maybe she belts probably.

360
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,480
Speaker 3: Maybe the hospital that was mentioned earlier was maybe we

361
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 3: can assume the worst with those notes in the in

362
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 3: the hospital visit. But yeah, I feel like I feel

363
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,040
Speaker 3: like she could find a fan somewhere else. I feel

364
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 3: like this nurse can like have a different way to

365
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 3: deal with her hot flashes.

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00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like that. It's like a weird way

367
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 2: to there's a weird way to try to reach out.

368
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was in shop. She's supposed to be getting help,

369
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 3: but is worried about a nurse who gets to go

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00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,760
Speaker 3: home having hot flashes. The next day, she called again,

371
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,400
Speaker 3: asking if i'd come get her phone because she couldn't

372
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,200
Speaker 3: have it, but needed to make calls. So I won't

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00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,720
Speaker 3: be able to bring that to you because you can't

374
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,720
Speaker 3: have it, So I don't know what you want from me.

375
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,320
Speaker 3: I asked who she needed to call. She said, well,

376
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,200
Speaker 3: I'm going to lose the car, so I need to

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Speaker 3: make some calls.

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Speaker 5: Turns out she'd taken out a title.

379
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Speaker 3: Loan and never paid it. That was my final straw.

380
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 3: I told her she needed to focus on getting better

381
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 3: and not worry about things that she'd lost due to

382
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 3: her choices, and until she was better and not gambling anymore,

383
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 3: I'd be having no contact. Someone paid the loan for

384
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 3: her so the car won't be repossessed, and then I

385
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,160
Speaker 3: found out the day that she got out of the

386
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 3: mental hospital she was back gambling now for Alan's grandmother.

387
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 3: Alan's grandma and I had gotten to know each other.

388
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 3: He and I first started dating since he was living

389
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 3: with her to help her she can't do much by

390
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,199
Speaker 3: herself anymore. In the beginning, she seemed really nice and

391
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 3: enjoyed having the kids and me around. She would make

392
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 3: comments like I shouldn't tell Alan's mom anything or get

393
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,160
Speaker 3: too close to her because she's a manipulative bee. These

394
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,199
Speaker 3: comments seemed weird, but everyone has family drama, so I

395
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,400
Speaker 3: just shrugged it off. When she found out that I'd

396
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 3: met his parents and gone along with them, she was fuming.

397
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 3: She would tell Alan that I was going to leave

398
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 3: him and the kids weren't mine, so he shouldn't get attached.

399
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 3: She would make comments on his birthday saying, well, since

400
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,040
Speaker 3: y'all had a party beforehand, that means I get you

401
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,919
Speaker 3: all to myself on your birthday. On Mother's Day, I

402
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,119
Speaker 3: made homemade cinnamon rolls, got her a gift and flowers.

403
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,200
Speaker 3: She rolled her eyes and then told Alan how thoughtful

404
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 3: it was and how much it meant to her that

405
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,119
Speaker 3: he got her to the gift.

406
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,240
Speaker 5: He had no idea what it was, and I'm the

407
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,159
Speaker 5: one who paid for it.

408
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 3: Things like this got more in common, to the point

409
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 3: that I told him how uncomfortable I felt being somewhere

410
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 3: I wasn't welcomed anymore. Things hit the fan when she

411
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,680
Speaker 3: found out his mother was coming to my daughter's dance recital.

412
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 3: She originally wasn't going due to it being too early

413
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,400
Speaker 3: in her not feeling good, so we invited his mom.

414
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,760
Speaker 3: His mom wasn't going to go if she was going,

415
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,440
Speaker 3: because she didn't want his grandma making a scene and

416
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 3: ruining a good moment for my daughter. His grandma called

417
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 3: to him the day before and said that she wanted

418
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 3: to go, but he informed her we'd invited his mom

419
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 3: though she was still welcome to come. She lost it.

420
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 5: She started screaming so loud I could hear her from the.

421
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 3: Other side of the car.

422
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 5: Over the next month, things got even more tense.

423
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 3: She would belittle everything Alan did and start fights just

424
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 3: to fight. The breaking point for me came when she

425
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 3: said she never wanted to see the kids again since

426
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 3: they weren't Allan's yikes, dude.

427
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,640
Speaker 4: Big old yike, Oh my gosh, grandma contest.

428
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,159
Speaker 2: But they're competing on who's the worst.

429
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 3: For real, I don't know who's the winner just yet.

430
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 3: For context, the kids call him dad, and once we're married,

431
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 3: he'll be legally adopting them. She told him that I

432
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 3: forced him to have a relationship with his mom and

433
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 3: that I was an awful person. That's when he snapped

434
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,919
Speaker 3: and told her she needed to watch what she says

435
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 3: because once she says something, she can't take it back.

436
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 3: Two weeks ago, Alan, our daughter and I were baptized.

437
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 3: She wasn't invited to the service of the big lunchry

438
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 3: through after celebrate with our family and friends, he offered

439
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 3: to show her the live stream, and she made him

440
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,439
Speaker 3: skip over where our daughter and I got baptized because

441
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 3: I don't care about anyone other than you. Since then,

442
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 3: she gave him an eviction notice, so when he moved

443
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 3: out like she wanted, she tried to accuse him of

444
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,520
Speaker 3: stealing his deceased grandfather's golf club. He took his golf

445
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 3: clubs that he'd bought before he ever lived there. She

446
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 3: called him a good for nothing pos and so many

447
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 3: awful things. Since then, we've both gote no contact with

448
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 3: her for the simple fact that we just can't take

449
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 3: any more hateful people in our lives. We both know

450
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 3: that our grandmothers are getting older and we won't be

451
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,679
Speaker 3: around forever, but we just can't take any more of

452
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,680
Speaker 3: the hurt and don't want to put the kids through

453
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 3: any of it. My family is also going no contact

454
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 3: with my grandmother because she told my mom maybe if

455
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 3: she would just be allowed to see the kids, I

456
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 3: wouldn't gamble. None of us are okay with her using

457
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 3: my kids as a bargaining tool. Alan's mom says that

458
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 3: his grandma is family, so we should just suck it

459
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 3: up and still be there for her. She has no

460
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,360
Speaker 3: idea why her own mother hates her so much. Alan's dad, however,

461
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 3: is on our side with going no contact. So am

462
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,679
Speaker 3: I the a hole for going no contact? And I

463
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 3: think not, no, no, no, that's actually really funny that

464
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 3: Alan's dad is like, yeah, I'm my mother in laws,

465
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 3: don't blame you. Get out of there. But he's stuck.

466
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 5: He's like, save yourselves, save yourselves. It's too late for me.

467
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,959
Speaker 7: My husband befriended a single mom and it's making me uncomfortable.

468
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 6: Oh are they flirty?

469
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 7: He twenty three Female Jessica married to my husband James

470
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 7: twenty six Mail has been picking up her son from

471
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 7: daycare since he finishes work before me. Our name is

472
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 7: on the pickup register. Our son's daycare ends at three

473
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 7: thirty PM. My husband finishes work at three and I

474
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 7: finish at four. By the way, this comes from Throwaway

475
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 7: Daycare sixty two and if you want to smit your

476
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 7: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time

477
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 7: subvered it. So lately I've been noticing that he would

478
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:15,719
Speaker 7: come home a bit later for ten or fifteen. At

479
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,919
Speaker 7: first I thought nothing of it, probably traffic or running errands.

480
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 7: But it's been happening for weeks now and I got

481
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 7: a weird feeling about it. So I went to ask

482
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 7: why he's been coming home late for the past months,

483
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 7: and he couldn't give a straight answer. So I took

484
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 7: it upon myself to go through his phone and found

485
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 7: many chats with a woman he's never mentioned before. Reading

486
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 7: through them, they were clearly flirty and they talked about

487
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 7: the kids. I felt super uncomfortable with this because she's

488
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 7: a stranger and I don't know her, so why is

489
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 7: she around my son? But she acts like she knows him.

490
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 7: She says things like I bought him apple sicis since

491
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 7: there is fades, the kids can share it lunch. After

492
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 7: reading these, I decided that I was going to leave

493
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,199
Speaker 7: early to pick up my and let my husband know

494
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 7: not to. I arrived at the school, showed them my

495
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 7: ID to confirm, and ad a quick combo with my

496
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 7: son's teacher, and was gonna leave until this woman stopped

497
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,959
Speaker 7: me and accuse me of kidnapping.

498
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 3: My own son.

499
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,719
Speaker 7: I tried to tell her that I'm the mom and

500
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 7: I leaving. She literally body blocked me and called the cops.

501
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 7: When they arrived, I tried to explain the situation and

502
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 7: kept on saying Dad isn't here anyway. My son's teacher

503
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 7: arrived explain the situation. As I'm finally about to leave.

504
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 7: My husband arrives. I tried to tell him that that

505
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,719
Speaker 7: crazy person called the cops on me for picking up

506
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 7: our son, only for him to take him out of

507
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 7: my arm. So I told him we're leaving, get in

508
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 7: the car. I'm walking towards the car and turn around.

509
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 7: He's talking to her. I go back to tell him

510
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 7: we're leaving, and I looked at her to get her

511
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 7: hands off my husband. We get in the car and

512
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 7: he starts accusing me of being rude to her, saying

513
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 7: it was an innocent mistake on her part. I let

514
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 7: him know I know that he has a crush on

515
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 7: her and that she's the one who was wrong because

516
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 7: the teachers explained to her who I was, and she's

517
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 7: still called The only one making mistakes was him entertaining

518
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 7: a girl who has feelings for him and bringing her

519
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 7: around our son without letting me know, making her think

520
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 7: he's single, which he denied. So I asked, did you

521
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 7: ever mention you were married? He tried to say they're friends.

522
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 7: I told them I'm going to switch daycares. He wasn't happy,

523
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 7: but I don't care. I also mentioned it to his

524
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 7: brother and a couple others in case he's rised twisted.

525
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 7: He's been silent. I don't know where we stand.

526
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 6: Divorce, divorce this man.

527
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 3: Honestly, this is scummy of him. This is so.

528
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 8: Say the cops are called on you, and because they're

529
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 8: accusing you of kidnapping kid, and he goes and comforts

530
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 8: the woman who called the cops.

531
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 7: You had the cops called on you. You just had

532
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 7: the cops called on you, and he takes away your

533
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 7: son from you. Comments common one. A piece of advice

534
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 7: for you, Op, I've been through something similar. Don't go

535
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 7: straight into making assumptions when you talk to your husband

536
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 7: about this. Only confront him with hard facts. He was

537
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 7: routinely late from picking up your son and gave no answer.

538
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 7: Now these texts reveal it's because he's been spending time

539
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 7: with her. That might be another thing if he had

540
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 7: told you this, but he kept it a secret when asked.

541
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 7: This in itself is a betrayal of your trust. He

542
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 7: wouldn't lie if he had nothing to hide. Great point,

543
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 7: because you asked him multiple times and he was cagy.

544
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 7: Screenshot those flirty texts. Know what specific things you can reference.

545
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 7: Ask him if he would be okay if you said

546
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 7: these things to a strange man.

547
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 3: He didn't know.

548
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 7: If he says he'd be fine with it, he's bluffing,

549
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 7: and you should interpret that as a self absorbed response,

550
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 7: So don't engage in the conversation in the topic after that,

551
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 7: he will just try to make you feel like the

552
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,360
Speaker 7: crazy one. Don't let him go get to you. He

553
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 7: had your kid hanging around another adult that you.

554
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: Do not know.

555
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 7: Tell him you should both be informed of where your

556
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 7: son is and who he's with, even if one of

557
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 7: you is there. If he tries to say she's safe

558
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 7: or that he knows her so it's fine or whatever, again,

559
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,239
Speaker 7: tell him that he should not tolerate you having your

560
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 7: son around a strange man, so you shouldn't tolerate his

561
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 7: secrecy either.

562
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 6: I'm like screaming, I know, man, this man sucks.

563
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 7: Yeah, Kate says it's at the very least an emotional affair. Yeah,

564
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 7: And if he still says it's fine, then maybe he's

565
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 7: not a responsible parent and pickups should be delegated to.

566
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 3: You from now on. He's clearly not a responsible parent

567
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 3: because he.

568
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 7: Let his son's why his son's mother sorry, son's mother

569
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 7: get the cops called on her, Yeah, and then goes

570
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 7: in comforts the other woman who called those cops and

571
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 7: also involving his son because he takes his son away

572
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 7: from Ophee and involving his son and whatever weird stuff

573
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 7: is going on with this woman, and.

574
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 3: How scared the son must have been.

575
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 7: Terrified, like being taken away from his mom. Everyone shouting

576
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 7: you're gonna kidnapp and he's like.

577
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 6: My mom, good, No, I'm raging for you.

578
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 3: I'm raging girl.

579
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 6: You can rage harder, rage harder, go harder.

580
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,200
Speaker 3: Leave this man, Leave this man. Boo this man. Oooh.

581
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 3: Comment two.

582
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 7: You might have handled this a bit better, but the

583
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 7: situation was out of control. Calling the cops is a

584
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 7: nuclear move. Personally, I would look into filing charges against her.

585
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 7: The daycare let you have the child, meaning they knew you.

586
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 7: She had to know that's somewhere this child, that a mother.

587
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 7: She viled a false report to the police, probably because

588
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 7: somewhere in her mind she was going to be a

589
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 7: stepmom soon. I do not envy you with the talk

590
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 7: you must be having with husband right now. He was

591
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 7: very likely having an emotional affair with this woman. That

592
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 7: is a form of cheating that, in my opinion, is

593
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 7: far worse than a physical affair. Emotional affairs can cause

594
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 7: a husband to break up his family as he believes

595
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 7: he will get a better partner out of the deal.

596
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 7: I suggest getting into counseling as soon as possible if

597
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 7: you want to save this relationship.

598
00:26:59,359 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 3: Comment three.

599
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 7: Your husband decided to start a relationship with someone else.

600
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 7: There is no way to control them or control the

601
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 7: environment enough to stop him. And there is an update. Folks,

602
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 7: h do you have any other thoughts?

603
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: Leave this man? That's my only thought.

604
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 7: Maybe let's do a little poll while we're reading this update,

605
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 7: But like leave him or therapy because I'm on the

606
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 7: leave him train just because he.

607
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 6: Leave therapy for yourself?

608
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

609
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 7: I wow, getting the cops call on you and you

610
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 7: don't even defend your partner.

611
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 3: Update.

612
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 7: I spoke to his brother and a couple of my friends,

613
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 7: letting them know the situation.

614
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 3: I've also talked to a lawyer.

615
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 7: Regarding filing, and I'm not sure if I'm going to

616
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 7: file yet, but I have documents ready for when I

617
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 7: do so. Op he's also on the divorce train. I

618
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 7: spoke to the daycare and she's been punted out good.

619
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 3: The ECE spoke to her explaining.

620
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 7: Who I was, that they had proof that I was

621
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 7: the mother, Plus I'm on the pickup list, so they

622
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,479
Speaker 7: just threw her out. So I guess I don't need

623
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 7: to look for a new daycare. Regarding him, I spoke

624
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 7: to him and he was mad that I had her

625
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 7: thrown out of the daycare, but I had nothing to

626
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 7: do with that. Turns out she's married, but her husband

627
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 7: doesn't really pay attention to her, and from the look

628
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 7: of it, she's probably never.

629
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 3: Going to leave him.

630
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 7: She's a stay at o mom. One of the other

631
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,719
Speaker 7: moms let me know about this. I could tell he

632
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 7: didn't know either. After the daycare incident. I think it's

633
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 7: somehow got back to her husband, but she's the one

634
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 7: who ended. They're talking. I'm going to file for divorce.

635
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 7: His family is trying to talk me out of it,

636
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 7: but what's done is done. I don't trust him anymore.

637
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 7: He's asking me not to leave, and that he doesn't

638
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 7: want her son to grow up in a broken household.

639
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 7: But whose fault is that he's staying at his brother's house,

640
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 7: who is well aware of the situation and doesn't f

641
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 7: with him anymore. Most of our family and friends sided

642
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 7: with me. I will be the one picking up our

643
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 7: son from now on. Switch my schedule and there's a

644
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 7: second update. Any final thoughts divorce divorce only thought only

645
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 7: one thought divorce elevated.

646
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 6: Now divorce for sure a.

647
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 7: Little bit higher divorce divorce. I read the comments and

648
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 7: I've decided to talk to him. He seemed apologetic, but

649
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 7: when I asked him to show me the text, he hesitated,

650
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 7: and in a way, I had to talk him into

651
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 7: showing me. I found videos upon videos.

652
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 3: And texts of them hanging. The videos broke me.

653
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 7: They looked like a family laughing and the kids playing.

654
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 7: He brought their kids to play together without telling Opee.

655
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 8: It was after they picked him up from daycare. They

656
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 8: went from day here to hang out.

657
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: Messed up.

658
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 7: I just wanted to pass away. He said he was sorry,

659
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 7: but he cares about her, to which I replied, if

660
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 7: he's going to continue to stay friends with her? And

661
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 7: he said yes. I let him know that if he

662
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 7: ever wants me back and for our family to be

663
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 7: whole again, he would have to cut contact as if

664
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 7: he never met her. He tried to say, our kids

665
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 7: are friends. I told him again, as if he never

666
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 7: met them. Our son is two. He's not going to

667
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 7: remember them two weeks, so what difference would it make

668
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 7: to him? Also, I nailed that eight.

669
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 8: Yeah, the dad's going to be feeding like to the kid, like,

670
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 8: go tell me you miss tell me Ethan, go tell

671
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 8: me miss Joe, Go tell.

672
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 3: Mom and the kids I'm missing.

673
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 6: I don't really remember who that is.

674
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 3: I miss someone.

675
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 6: I have a new friend at daycare already.

676
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 7: He gave me his passwords to everything, full access. He

677
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 7: blocked her and we switched daycares. Either way, I informed

678
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 7: our son's new daycare about the situation and who this

679
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 7: woman is in case she ever shows up or he

680
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 7: brings her behind my back.

681
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 6: It sounds like they're gonna try the family thing. I

682
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 6: don't trust this man.

683
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 7: I think they're like on the like in the process

684
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 7: of divorce, but maybe trying to co parent or like separation,

685
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 7: trying to coparent.

686
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 8: It seems start doing therapy for figuring out how to

687
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 8: do that.

688
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, therapy for co parenting is super important. There's a

689
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 7: little bit left though. He's transferring workplaces. I guess she

690
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 7: knows where he works. She's been at his office one

691
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 7: changed numbers, plus blocked on socials. These are all in

692
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 7: case she tries to contact him again. He moved back

693
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 7: in and we're trying to make things work. Okay, so

694
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 7: they are, but I don't know if I can ever

695
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 7: trust him again. I read a comment that said to

696
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 7: stay untill he thanks for good and leave Lie.

697
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 3: I can say.

698
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 7: Regardless, if I ever changed my mind on the marriage,

699
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 7: I'll have my lawyer and I'll be ready. For now,

700
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 7: we're trying to make it work.

701
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 3: I don't know, personally know how that's going to work.

702
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 7: I mean from you literally looking like snooping at his phone,

703
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 7: it wasn't gonna work.

704
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 8: You and you have to go so far to feel

705
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 8: comfortable of being away from this girl, like changing your numbers,

706
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 8: still changing daycares, which I still would have too, to.

707
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 3: Be pole, you have to be dragged along into that and.

708
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 8: Then still being like, but they're friends.

709
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here.

710
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

711
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: three minute break with as for more sponsors.

712
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 6: My wife started guarding her phone. Now I'm suspicious.

713
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 3: I am suspicious.

714
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 8: To give you the backstory, my wife thirty eight female,

715
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 8: and I thirty eight male, have been married for seventeen

716
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 8: years and have two children, sixteen male and ten female.

717
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 8: We were high school sweethearts who got married just after college.

718
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 8: Our marriage has been mostly solid with no major issues,

719
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 8: no splits, no abuse, no cheating, no.

720
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 6: Passed away bedroom, et cetera.

721
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 8: I've never had much reason to doubt my wife in

722
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 8: the past, and don't snoop on her phone slash email,

723
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 8: et cetera. I have a high stress job that requires

724
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 8: me to work a lot. By the way, this comes

725
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 8: from Throwaway twelve six twenty sixteen, and if you want

726
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 8: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

727
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 8: Okay storytime sub reread it. In addition, my wife has

728
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 8: been acting a little strange lately, i e. Being more

729
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 8: guarded of her phone, coming to bed hours after I

730
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 8: go to bed, et cetera. So yesterday I needed to

731
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 8: submit my phone bill to my employer. For expense purposes,

732
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 8: we have bring your own device, and my employer reimburses

733
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 8: us for a portion of our mobile phone bill as

734
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 8: long as we submit the bills. I printed the bill

735
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 8: and noticed it was longer than usual, forty two pages.

736
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 8: With our provider, the bill lists all of the calls

737
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 8: and texts you make during the month. So I started

738
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 8: flipping through the bill and I get to my wife's

739
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 8: phone and notice one number repeatedly coming up a lot

740
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 8: like there's literally an entire page of uninterrupted texts, probably

741
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 8: one hundred plus just two and from this number. There

742
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 8: are multiple entries where she was texting this person until

743
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 8: one or two in the morning, and one day where

744
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 8: she texted continuously from five to seven. Usually I get

745
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 8: home around seven, and then again from nine to eleven thirty.

746
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 8: Not only is the number not one I recognize, but

747
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 8: it's not from our area code, it's from an area

748
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 8: code in the same metro area as US, roughly forty.

749
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 6: Five minutes away.

750
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 8: So I do the old one to the number in

751
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 8: Facebook and some guy's name comes up again that I

752
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 8: don't recognize, and my wife has never mentioned to me.

753
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 8: I call it from my work number and voicemail states

754
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 8: the same name. Bo I confront my wife about it.

755
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 8: She confesses to having carried on a non romantic relationship

756
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 8: with this person.

757
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 6: For a year a year and a half.

758
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 8: She said she was lonely and went online on a

759
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 8: website for people looking for non romantic relationship.

760
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 7: On come on, I'm sorry you went on a website

761
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 7: that was specific like those are just called friends.

762
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, just to be those are just called friends.

763
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 7: You're on a website looking for friends, get a hobby.

764
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: Going on a website.

765
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 7: Specifically for non romantic relationships is crazy. That's crazy, that's

766
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 7: just looking for friends. Why did you call it that?

767
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 3: That's so suspicious. I don't like that.

768
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 7: Second, you didn't tell your partner for a year and

769
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 7: a half.

770
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 3: I don't believe you.

771
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 8: That it's not really and wasn't going to plan to either,

772
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 8: only found out from the phone bill. To be clear,

773
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 8: she's had male friends in the past, and we currently

774
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 8: have a couple a couple friends that are male female,

775
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 8: and I've never objected to her talking to them.

776
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 6: But she consciously hid this.

777
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 8: From me for a year and a half, and during

778
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 8: the period repeatedly lied to me when I would ask

779
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 8: her who.

780
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 6: She was texting Until one am.

781
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 8: She insists nothing physical happened and that they've never even

782
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 8: met in person, and I'm inclined to believe her. She

783
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 8: justified it to herself by saying that it never crossed

784
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 8: that line.

785
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 6: At the same time, I've.

786
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 8: Feeling very emotionally cheated on. She took a lot of

787
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 8: time that she wasn't investing in our relationship and put

788
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 8: it in a relationship with another man that she hid

789
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 8: from me. I'm at something of a loss here. I

790
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 8: make enough money top one percent that we don't have

791
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 8: to worry about paying the mortgage if we split, and

792
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 8: I'm not worried about finding another partner if that happened.

793
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 3: I stay in.

794
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 6: Pretty good shape.

795
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 8: I love our kids as well and would really miss

796
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 8: seeing them every night. That being said, I really feel

797
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 8: like my trust was violated and don't know how I

798
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 8: can recommit to spending my life with someone who would

799
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 8: lie to me like that for a year and a half.

800
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 6: Am I making too much of this?

801
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 3: An edit? I think really quick? I don't think so.

802
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 7: And I think that maybe before you jump to divorce,

803
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 7: talk to your wife and say, hey, I need you

804
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 7: to fully come clean. Let me see these texts, let

805
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,280
Speaker 7: me look at everything.

806
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 6: I need to read them all.

807
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 7: And if you don't want to do that, or if

808
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 7: you're not, if you're gonna continue to lie to me,

809
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 7: then this cat workout. Yeah.

810
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, And there.

811
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 8: You go to answer some of the obvious questions that

812
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 8: I should have addressed from the start. Yes, she's extremely apologetic.

813
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 8: Her initial response when I asked her about it was

814
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 8: he's just a friend. I pushed on that, and she's

815
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 8: admitted that it was inappropriate and that she lied about it.

816
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 8: She was extremely apologetic and said that she would do

817
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 8: anything not to lose me. She texted him last night

818
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 8: and told him that she can't be in touch with

819
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 8: him anymore and deleted his contact information from her phone.

820
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 8: If we stay together, we will absolutely do couples counseling

821
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 8: before I start. I want to sincerely thank all those

822
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 8: who commented on my post, but especially those who mentioned

823
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 8: the iPhone recovery software.

824
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 6: I owe you a huge debt.

825
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 3: You're why Reddit is great. Okay.

826
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 8: We left off Monday night with her admitting to an

827
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 8: emotional affair with another man for one and a half years,

828
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 8: but saying that was it?

829
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 7: Well she said, she said, oh it was. It was

830
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 7: a non romantic relationship.

831
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 8: That I found on a non roma stating website. After

832
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 8: I posted on Reddit and people mentioned the iPhone recovery software,

833
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 8: I phoned to tell her not to use her phone

834
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,439
Speaker 8: and that I was going to recover the information Later

835
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 8: that night. She immediately admitted to spicy texting the other guy.

836
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 8: I got home and tried to run the software. For

837
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 8: whatever reason, probably human error, it didn't work well. It

838
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 8: only pulled up portions of three hundred and fifty texts,

839
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 8: and none of them seemed relevant. I decided not to

840
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 8: pay seventy dollars for the whole install and dropped the idea.

841
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 8: I went out with a friend who had been the

842
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 8: victim of adultery for drinks at seven to discuss, and

843
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 8: he thought I should give my second chance as long

844
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 8: as she had never met the other guy. I got

845
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 8: home around nine thirty, she was sitting with her best

846
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 8: friend in the sun room talking. I said an awkward

847
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 8: high to the best friend, who I am sure knew,

848
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 8: and went up to my office. My wife came up

849
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 8: ten minutes later when her friend had left, and immediately

850
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 8: started yelling at me, telling me that I basically needed

851
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 8: to get over it, and that she wasn't gonna feel

852
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 8: like she had today for six months.

853
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 3: And maybe you shouldn't have cheated. Yeah, this relationship's done done.

854
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 8: So I kind of flipped out, noting that I had

855
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 8: known for thirty hours and was only receiving trickle truths

856
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 8: during that period.

857
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 6: After we finished yelling at.

858
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 8: Each other, she left. She went into my daughter's bedroom

859
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 8: to comfort her. I assumed she left to text the

860
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 8: other guy, and I finished up my work and went

861
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 8: to bed in the guest room. I woke up about

862
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 8: one point thirty. I went into the master bedroom and

863
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 8: grabbed her phone. I scrolled through the text and emails,

864
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 8: but there was only that was nothing there, as anything

865
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 8: older than a day or so had been deleted. I

866
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,359
Speaker 8: felt like I needed to be able to trust her,

867
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 8: but continued to firmly believe she was lying to me

868
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 8: and that there were things she wasn't telling you.

869
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 3: You know, you know that you have proof that she

870
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 3: lied to you.

871
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 8: I put the phone back in her room and then

872
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 8: went back into the office. I googled iPhone recovery software

873
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 8: and saw a couple results that looked interesting. I went

874
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 8: back into the room and grabbed her phone again. This

875
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 8: time she woke up and followed me into the office.

876
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 8: I paid more attention to the software this time. I

877
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 8: turned the phone into airplane mode, I disabled iTunes autosync,

878
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 8: I closed all the programs, et cetera. I ran the

879
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 8: free test and it came back with thirty five hundred results,

880
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 8: the sixth of which was from the other guy. I

881
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 8: paid the fifty dollars for the software and ran the

882
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 8: full program. It took about ten minutes, during which she

883
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 8: continually tried to convince me not to look at it.

884
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 8: Once I had the results. I started going through the

885
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 8: text The good news was that there was nothing that

886
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 8: suggests she and the other guy met. I had been

887
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 8: in Europe from Monday through Thursday of last week, and

888
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 8: there were lots of recent texts. A lot of them

889
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,720
Speaker 8: were spicy related, but none suggested they were meeting, which

890
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 8: gets to the bad news. I asked when they started

891
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 8: spicy texting. She said October.

892
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 3: I don't trust anything, she says.

893
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 8: I looked through the text They're not really organized by name,

894
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 8: just file size, so you kind of have to look

895
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 8: through all of them, and found one from July. It

896
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 8: was clearly from someone else. Anyway, The style was very

897
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 8: different and was very spicy related forward I can't wait

898
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 8: to see you unclothed, I'll wear anything you.

899
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 3: Want, etc.

900
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 2: Mind.

901
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,280
Speaker 8: There was also discussion of meeting up, so she trickled

902
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 8: truth meeting up with two other guys from Craigslist.

903
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, that was the non dating website.

904
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 8: She said she fooled around with one of them, but

905
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 8: that they met at a park, so they didn't have

906
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 8: spicy sleep.

907
00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:58,439
Speaker 9: Yeah.

908
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 7: I'm sorry when someone trickled truth, you know, there's always more.

909
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 7: You can never trust them if you say hey, did

910
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 7: you do this? And they say no, and then you

911
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 7: find out that they did, and then they go, okay,

912
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 7: well I did that. Yeah, and you go, oh, well

913
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 7: did you do this and they go no, no, no, Then

914
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 7: you find out.

915
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 3: It's never did that. Yeah, they're never gonna tell you.

916
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,760
Speaker 3: They're already continually. You can't trust that they will.

917
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, So even if they do, you'll never know exact divorce.

918
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 6: But we got a little bit left.

919
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 8: At that point, I honestly felt like a huge weight

920
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 8: had been taken off my shoulders. All of the doubt

921
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 8: that I could trust her again became irrelevant, and I.

922
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 6: Knew I could move on with a clean conscience.

923
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 8: Later that night, she trickled truth sleeping with the other

924
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 8: Craigslist guy one time.

925
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 6: Last night, she.

926
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 8: Admitted to sleeping with another guy in Alaska when she

927
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 8: went there alone on vacation a year and a half ago.

928
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 8: I do believe her that she didn't meet the guy

929
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 8: she was texting continuously, given the text I read, although

930
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 8: given the way the texts were progressing, I firmly believe

931
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 8: it would have happened to me with that guy, and

932
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 8: that nothing seemed to happen when I was out of

933
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 8: town for a week. But it doesn't really matter. Now

934
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 8: you can guess the PostScript. She's been crying her eyes

935
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 8: out and begging me to give her another chance. I

936
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 8: plan on sticking together through the holidays for sake of

937
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 8: the kids, but we'll be moving out come January.

938
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 3: Yikes, good stuff. Yeah, get out of there. She's lye.

939
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 3: She's a jeter. Run. My brother accused me of breaking

940
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 3: off his engagement.

941
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 2: Well did you.

942
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 3: My sister passed away when I was like six and

943
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 3: she was seventeen.

944
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,959
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a real part. We're in it now.

945
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 3: You were jumping right into the deep end. We weren't

946
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 3: super close or anything, but I still remember little bits

947
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 3: of her, her laugh, how she always painted her nails,

948
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,479
Speaker 3: her posters. She was like those perfect angel to my mom.

949
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 3: After she passed, I barely remember the funeral. By the way,

950
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 3: this comes from a classic Amphibian nine sixty three. So

951
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 3: when I was like twelve, I found this old ring

952
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 3: in her stuff. Nothing fancy, just a silver ring with

953
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,399
Speaker 3: a small stone. It fit me, and I don't know why,

954
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 3: but I kept it. It wasn't some big dramatic thing,

955
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 3: didn't steal it or anything. I just took it and

956
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 3: started keeping it. That would be a really funny way

957
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 3: to well, jud your honor. I didn't like steal it.

958
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 3: I just like like took it and then kept taking

959
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 3: it us all your honor.

960
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,839
Speaker 2: It's it's mine. Yeah, I found it.

961
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 3: It's mine. I didn't wear it loads or flaunt it,

962
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 3: just had it in this little box and sometimes I'd

963
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 3: look at it when I missed her. It kind of

964
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 3: became this one thing that felt like mine, like my

965
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 3: piece of herm So anyway, last weekend, we had this

966
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 3: family lunch and my brother, twenty seven male, brings his

967
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: girlfriend who everyone knew he was going to propose to.

968
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 3: And yeah, he stands up, does the big speech and

969
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 3: pulls out the ring, my sister's ring, the one I've

970
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 3: kept for like seven years.

971
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 2: How did he get it?

972
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 3: How did he get it? I literally froze. His girlfriend

973
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 3: starts crying, people are clapping, and I just sat there

974
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: like what the f I look at my mom and

975
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 3: she just smiles at me like nothing happened. After dinner,

976
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 3: I asked her it was at the ring and she's like, yeah,

977
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 3: your brother asked me and dad, and we said it

978
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 3: was fine. She said it was sweet and symbolic and

979
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,800
Speaker 3: my sister would have wanted it passed down or whatever.

980
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 2: What wait wait, it was time out cutsdad? Why they

981
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 2: asked you and.

982
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 4: You knew that it was in a box under your

983
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 4: daughter's bed and you just took it.

984
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, without asking, that's crazy.

985
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,919
Speaker 3: He knew about it, didn't ask Opee, only asked mom

986
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 3: and dad. They didn't even ask Opee. And everyone was like, yeah,

987
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 3: sure you can have it.

988
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 2: This is yeah, it's in that box under your sister's bed. Yeah.

989
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 2: What that is so wild? That is so wild. It's

990
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 2: goofy behavior.

991
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 3: So I was like, it was never yours to give though,

992
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 3: like I've had it for years, and she just goes, oh,

993
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 3: come on, it's just a ring. Don't be dramatic. If

994
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 3: it was just a ring, I don't think he'd be

995
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:57,959
Speaker 3: proposing with it right now.

996
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: It's like, the whole point is that it has significance.

997
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like when I had it, it wasn't just

998
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 3: a ring. So yeah, I kind of snapped. I waited

999
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 3: till people were outside and told my brother I wanted

1000
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 3: it back. He laughed at first and then was like,

1001
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 3: uh no, what the F. And I said, Okay, well

1002
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 3: then I'll tell your girlfriend where it came from, and

1003
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 3: I let her decide. He got mad, said that I

1004
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 3: was ruining his proposal and making it about me, and

1005
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 3: like always, my mom dragged me into the kitchen, saying

1006
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 3: everyone noticed I wasn't happy, and then I left halfway

1007
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 3: through dinner. Yeah, because I was crying in the bathroom.

1008
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,879
Speaker 3: Dad tried to calm it down, but my brother kept

1009
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 3: going on about how selfish I was, and then I'd

1010
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 3: been weird about my sister for years.

1011
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 9: Uh.

1012
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 3: I didn't even say anything. I just left early and

1013
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 3: haven't spoken to any of them since. My mom rang

1014
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 3: me yesterday saying have I calmed down? And am I

1015
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 3: ready to say sorry? And I said not really and

1016
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 3: she hung up.

1017
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, you better be sorry for having feelings.

1018
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 3: My cousin texted me later saying it was actually super

1019
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,360
Speaker 3: messed up and she doesn't blame me, But I don't know.

1020
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 3: I probably could have handled it better, but I just

1021
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 3: felt so blindsided. It's not even about the stupid ring.

1022
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 3: It's just like they acted like it didn't matter to me,

1023
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,919
Speaker 3: like I didn't matter. So yeah, am I the a whole?

1024
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,800
Speaker 3: And there are some comments?

1025
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 2: But what do we think I mean? No? No, no, no,

1026
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 2: you're clearly not.

1027
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I feel like, depending on how the

1028
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: situation goes, when you could always you know, look at

1029
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 3: some sort of blow up in confrontation, and there's usually

1030
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 3: ways like okay, yeah, maybe we could have said that

1031
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 3: in a common way. But I don't know all those details,

1032
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 3: so I'm not gonna like focus on that too much,

1033
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 3: you know. But yeah, I think you're definitely not the

1034
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,439
Speaker 3: a hole for being upset about this. I think that's

1035
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:39,280
Speaker 3: very justified.

1036
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1037
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 3: So verdict from the comments is that Opius not the

1038
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 3: a hole, and there are some relevant comments. Comment to

1039
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 3: everyone says, not the ale. How did he even get

1040
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 3: the ring? It's not a family heirloom because that's his sister.

1041
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 3: He probably just found an easier way to propose to

1042
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 3: his girlfriend without paying anything. Honestly, the whole situation is weird.

1043
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: Of all the rings in the world, this one.

1044
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 4: Of all the rings in all the world, Why did

1045
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 4: you steal mine?

1046
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,879
Speaker 3: Opie responds, Well, I often leave it in a small,

1047
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 3: unlocked box. It's an expensive ring, but it is extremely pretty,

1048
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 3: and if someone proposed to me with that ring without

1049
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 3: knowing the context, I would be quite happy. Com much

1050
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 3: number two says not the a hole. The only way

1051
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 3: you're going to get it back is to tell the fiance,

1052
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 3: but it will probably mean ruining your relationship with your

1053
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 3: brother and causing more stress in your relationship with your mother.

1054
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 3: Opie says, I feel like such an a hole for

1055
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: telling her though, like I've just ruined her day. He's

1056
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 3: already posted the ring and everything com much. Number three says, uh, info,

1057
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,439
Speaker 3: how did he get the ring from you? Opie says,

1058
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 3: I don't always wear it. I usually keep it in

1059
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: that little box. I wear it when I'm having bad

1060
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 3: days or stressful times, like during exams. Really helps me

1061
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 3: feel better, like I'm doing this for her as well

1062
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 3: as me. I don't keep the box locked or guarded

1063
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 3: or anything. I wouldn't expect anyone to take it. It's

1064
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 3: just sat underneath my bed.

1065
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like ei, there would be no reason

1066
00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 5: to keep.

1067
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,800
Speaker 3: It in a locked box.

1068
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 5: Why why would anyone? And take the box?

1069
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 4: Under the bed is like last place I'd be like, well,

1070
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 4: someone might accidentally take.

1071
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: This, yeah, and like how would they even so if

1072
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 3: it's sitting under the box, how would they know about that?

1073
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 3: And if she's wearing it like that could be how

1074
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 3: they know about it, But why would they think like, oh, hey,

1075
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 3: I want that again, I'm gonna just take that Finders

1076
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: Keepers is weird, so weird, it's weird. Well, we have

1077
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 3: a downvoted commentary says everyone sucks here. It wasn't your

1078
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 3: ring anymore than it was your brother's. The ring belongs

1079
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 3: to your parents, and they have the right to do

1080
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 3: with that what they wanted. They let you play with

1081
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 3: it for a while, and then they gifted it to

1082
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 3: your brother. Pretty normal with things in the household where

1083
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,479
Speaker 3: they become the clowns. Is that they did it without

1084
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 3: even talking to you about it. Ohp he responds. It

1085
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 3: doesn't belong to my parents, at least I don't think

1086
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 3: it ever did. And she's gone now, and I don't

1087
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 3: exactly think she would be upset at the idea that

1088
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 3: I kept it. And we do have an update. I

1089
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 3: think we should just go right into it. Let's go,

1090
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 3: let's do it. So date, while the final judgment of

1091
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,439
Speaker 3: my last posts seemed to be not the ahole, I'm

1092
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 3: still so confused with the overwhelming amount of comments that

1093
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,959
Speaker 3: said that I was in the wrong. But one thing

1094
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 3: that a lot of people did say is that I

1095
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: need to tell my brother's fiance, and I guess that's right,

1096
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 3: as it did feel like I ruined her day with

1097
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 3: my stop. So afterwards I messaged, apologized and asked her

1098
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 3: to meet up for lunch as an apology for the

1099
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 3: other day. I wasn't going to ask for the ring back.

1100
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 3: I just wanted her to at least know my side

1101
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 3: of the story. I guess. Anyway, we met up for

1102
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 3: lunch blah blah blah, man talk or whatever, and she

1103
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 3: shows me the ring and tells me that, oh, it's

1104
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 3: so pretty. I know it's not expensive, but if it

1105
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 3: means so much to your brother for me to have it,

1106
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 3: it means so much to me, Like, okay, just miss

1107
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 3: out crucial info when telling your future wife. Then I guess, oh, yeah, yeah.

1108
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 9: And he did.

1109
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 2: He didn't say, and I stole it from my little sister.

1110
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, it wasn't It wasn't the most expensive.

1111
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 3: Ring because it was free. I kind of just stared

1112
00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 3: at the ring and didn't know what to say. And

1113
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 3: I guess she have noticed, because she began apologizing a lot,

1114
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 3: saying I didn't know, I'm sorry, And I finally got

1115
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 3: my ring back or whoever's ring you want to call it?

1116
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 3: Oh interesting? I was near tears. She took me back

1117
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 3: to my friend's house as I thought that was going

1118
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 3: to be it. Later, I get a call from my

1119
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 3: brother where he says that I'm selfish and I'm so

1120
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 3: weird about my sister and that I couldn't let him

1121
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 3: have his day and it had to be about me,

1122
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 3: telling me that I just ruined his marriage. And then

1123
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 3: I can't claim anything with my sister because I was

1124
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 3: way too young to have a relationship. See, that's that's

1125
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 3: definitely another place where he's wrong. That's so insensitive. It's

1126
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: one thing. Also, if your marriage is going to get

1127
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 3: ruined by not having this exact ring, you gotta go

1128
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 3: to the therapy, you gotta go to couple's castling. You

1129
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 3: gotta spend a little more time before you get married,

1130
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 3: because that sounds like a weak relationship.

1131
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 4: You've ruined my marriage. Now I'm a marriage to buy

1132
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 4: a ring.

1133
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. He ended the call, and I tried calling both

1134
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 3: my parent but they wouldn't pick up till my dad

1135
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 3: called me later, telling me that he's disappointed in how

1136
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 3: I handled things and that I've blown out my brother's

1137
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 3: relationship over a person I barely knew, and honestly I

1138
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 3: don't know. At this point, I feel like it's all

1139
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 3: gone a bit too far. I don't think I can

1140
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:18,280
Speaker 3: ever face coming home, and I've just ruined my brother's marriage.

1141
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 3: Am I the A hole? And there are some comments.

1142
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,479
Speaker 3: Comment number one says, if simply in knowing the full

1143
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 3: truth was enough to make her leave, it means your

1144
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 3: brother was manipulating her. Anyways, You saved that woman, not

1145
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 3: the a whole. Commentary number two says, what a bunch

1146
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: of effing ales. Of course a young child is going

1147
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 3: to look up to her older sister. I'm guessing that

1148
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,720
Speaker 3: she was kinder to you than this bunch of ghouls.

1149
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 3: They knew what they were doing was wrong because they

1150
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 3: didn't tell you that they were doing it beforehand. Pretending

1151
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 3: you have no relationship to your past away sister because

1152
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 3: you were young is just unfathomably cruel. No surprise that

1153
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 3: the fiance failed. She saw how they treated you and

1154
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 3: realized that this would be her future if she stayed

1155
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 3: with your brother, her actual feelings never mattering, only what

1156
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 3: he thought they should be. Commentary number three says, your

1157
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 3: brother accusing you of blowing up his marriage. Like, dude,

1158
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 3: he didn't even say the truth to his fiance.

1159
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 2: That's the problem, dude, that's.

1160
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 3: What blew up.

1161
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 2: And she was like, you proposed to me with a

1162
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 2: ring stole.

1163
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 4: And then you lied to me about where it came

1164
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 4: from and how much it meant to you because it

1165
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 4: wasn't yours until you stole it back from your sister.

1166
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, man, like, if you could have just

1167
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 3: kept keeping my secret, my wife wouldn't have known.

1168
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: How much of a d bag didn't blow up?

1169
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 9: Lie dude, Oh I couldn't just lied to her forever

1170
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 9: freaking narc dude, Like, God, pretty sure this wouldn't have

1171
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 9: been an issue if you, your parents, and brother had

1172
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 9: a conversation before just giving the ring, explaining why he

1173
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 9: wanted to propose with the ring and what it meant

1174
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 9: to him, deciding whether to give the ring or not.

1175
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 3: As a family, I think that the ring doesn't belong

1176
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,319
Speaker 3: to anyone but to everyone in your family as a

1177
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 3: way to remember your sister. So if someone opposes giving it,

1178
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 3: simply don't give it. And there is an updates. Oh

1179
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 3: my gosh, there's another update with all of this. Okay,

1180
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: those are some great comments. I think they made some

1181
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 3: good points.

1182
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I hope that the update is not the family

1183
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 4: like ostracizing.

1184
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 2: Ope even further, Yeah, you imagine agreeing. It's like, you

1185
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 2: should have just kept ling, you should have just kept on.

1186
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 2: I can't believe.

1187
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, you put him in a situation that

1188
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: his lies could be exposed, Like.

1189
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 3: It's it's so upsetting that they're doing that. But at

1190
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 3: the same time, I'm not that surprised because they're the

1191
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 3: ones that took the ring from her in the first place.

1192
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 3: So it's like, oh, she's just up against all these people.

1193
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 3: She just needs to band together with that fiance and

1194
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 3: be like, help me, help me through this. Please, Yes,

1195
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 3: but we will see update number two. As of now,

1196
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 3: I've been staying in my friend's house, and we'll be

1197
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 3: moving in to stay with my boyfriend for a bit

1198
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 3: when he comes back from holiday. My parents have taken

1199
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 3: his side and they want nothing to do with me.

1200
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:02,240
Speaker 3: My brother is the same. No one in my family,

1201
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: even if they are sympathetic, can get through to them

1202
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 3: and amend stuff. It seems the only way to repair

1203
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 3: the relationship would be to give the ring back, but

1204
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 3: even then I don't think I can. I'm at a

1205
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,720
Speaker 3: loss and I don't know what to do or how

1206
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 3: to go about. It feels like I'll never be able

1207
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,840
Speaker 3: to come home. There are some more comments, Tom, and

1208
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 3: number one says, here's the thing. Your golden child brother

1209
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 3: is not going to pan out as a functioning adult

1210
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,919
Speaker 3: in life, and he won't be able to take care

1211
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 3: of your parents as they get older. So live your life,

1212
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 3: do the best you can, and just wait. Your parents

1213
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 3: will come crawling back one day. And by the way,

1214
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 3: the fiance broke up with your brother because he was

1215
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 3: so cheap that he stole a ring from his baby

1216
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:45,280
Speaker 3: sister that belongs to his deceased sister that the living

1217
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 3: sister used as comfort. The kind of man that can

1218
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 3: do that is not the kind of man any woman

1219
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 3: of merit will ever want to be with.

1220
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:55,240
Speaker 1: Hey and' sam, we're going to get back to these stories,

1221
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: but here's three minutes of ads for our sponsors.

1222
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:01,280
Speaker 2: I refuse to change my graduation her plans just because

1223
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 2: my sister didn't approve.

1224
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 5: Well, ses, are you the one graduating.

1225
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 4: Didn't think so? I, twenty three female, would be graduating

1226
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:16,320
Speaker 4: in December with my master's degree. Oh, let's go, smarty, smarty,

1227
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 4: Patardi over here. My grad program is online and through

1228
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 4: the same university where I got my bachelor's. I've lived

1229
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 4: at home for the last year and a half, three

1230
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 4: hours away from my old college town, and worked full

1231
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 4: time while finishing out this degree nice. Initially, I wasn't

1232
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 4: going to make a big fuss out of this graduation.

1233
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 4: I didn't want to deal with all the travel, and

1234
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 4: I didn't want to ask anyone to make it the

1235
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 4: three hour trek up to my college town, especially since

1236
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 4: my graduation is five days before Christmas.

1237
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user lyrical reader.

1238
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 4: So my parents wanted to do something nice for me

1239
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 4: since I'll be the first in our family to have

1240
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 4: this higher degree.

1241
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 2: After we talked.

1242
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 4: About it, I started to like the idea of doing

1243
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 4: something special. So my uncle is letting us use his

1244
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 4: rental house for free for the weekend. By the way,

1245
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 4: I love his rental house, and we have invited him,

1246
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,399
Speaker 4: my siblings, their significant others, and their children. I even

1247
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 4: called my best friend who lives far away in another state,

1248
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 4: and she said she wouldn't miss it and would love

1249
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 4: to spend time with me in our old college town.

1250
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 4: For further context as to who will all be coming.

1251
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 4: I have two older half sisters and one younger full sister.

1252
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 2: My oldest sister is married and has my goddaughter, three female.

1253
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 4: My second oldest sister is bringing her boyfriend and my niece,

1254
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 4: fifteen female. My youngest sister is currently attending the same

1255
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 4: school and is getting her bachelor's. Sorry, I know that

1256
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 4: was a lot, but you need all that context to

1257
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 4: understand now why I might be the a hole. To

1258
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 4: celebrate my graduation, I've booked a reservation for all of

1259
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 4: us at my favorite restaurant in town. This isn't just

1260
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 4: my favorite restaurant in my old college town, but one

1261
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 4: of my favorite restaurants out of all the places I've

1262
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 4: ever been. Everyone that's been invited has eaten there before.

1263
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 4: I brought this up at a recently gathering, most notably

1264
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 4: in front of my oldest sister, and her previously sunny

1265
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 4: disposition darkened enough for me to notice. She said that

1266
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:09,720
Speaker 4: they don't really have anything.

1267
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 2: For her daughter, the three year old, and my goddaughter.

1268
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 4: I just kind of went quiet and tuned into other

1269
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 4: conversations being had around us. She didn't come right out

1270
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 4: and say it, but she made it clear that she

1271
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 4: didn't want to go eat there, and that she'd appreciate

1272
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 4: it if I picked somewhere else.

1273
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 2: We're gonna let the three year old dictate where we're eating.

1274
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 2: Bring a peanut butter and jelly.

1275
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, just bring your own little bag of chickeny nugget.

1276
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 4: I've kept the reservation because one everyone loved it when

1277
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 4: we went before, and two, my goddaughter will quite literally

1278
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,640
Speaker 4: eat anything. The kid is not picky at all and

1279
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 4: has no allergies, and the restaurant, while it doesn't have

1280
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 4: a kid's venu, has plenty of kid friendly options. I

1281
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 4: honestly wasn't planning on changing my plans, but I started

1282
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 4: to feel a little guilty, especially when I feel like

1283
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 4: I'm asking a lot by inviting everyone to come. So

1284
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 4: am I the a hole for not just picking a

1285
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 4: di restaurant? Am I being inconsiderate for not catering to

1286
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 4: my guest and picking a place that would make my

1287
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 4: sister more comfortable? And there is a small edit, but

1288
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 4: before we get into that, I feel like throughly the

1289
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 4: answer is.

1290
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 2: No, it's your graduation. Yeah, And like you said, Angie,

1291
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 2: the restaurant will probably be able to cater to a

1292
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 2: a three year old to some level.

1293
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I mean maybe like just talk with her

1294
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 3: a little bit of like, okay, so I mean this

1295
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 3: looks like kids can eat that, because it's not like

1296
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 3: she's like one, right, Like isn't the kid like kids?

1297
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:32,919
Speaker 2: Three?

1298
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 4: Three?

1299
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1300
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 5: Like you know, wit can she eat this? Can she

1301
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 5: eat that?

1302
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 3: Like? I feel like these are good options. She to me,

1303
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 3: I've seen her eat this stuff before. Maybe I don't know,

1304
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 3: you'll have to You'll have to decide on that one o'pe.

1305
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 3: But and then try to figure out other options like Okay,

1306
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 3: well what if I brought this for her? What if

1307
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 3: what if I made a little sandwich for her? Like

1308
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 3: trying to work out some sort of other little thing.

1309
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 4: Literally, the simplest explanation is like there's actually more food

1310
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 4: on earth that exists that you could theoretically, I don't know,

1311
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 4: bring with you in some sort of a container of

1312
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 4: some kind if those are If those exist, I don't know.

1313
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like if an adult brought their own food to

1314
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 3: a restaurant, that'd be weird. But if you brought a

1315
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 3: three year old food for that three year old to restaurant,

1316
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 3: I feel like people to understand there's an edit to

1317
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 3: add here.

1318
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 4: I've got a little overwhelmed by all the comments. Wanted

1319
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 4: to say thank you to everyone offering congratulations to me.

1320
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 4: The cost of the restaurant, yeah, it's a nicer place

1321
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 4: with a little pricey menu. In the last ten years,

1322
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 4: my parents have built up their steady careers and are

1323
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 4: now very comfortable financially. Things that were never possible when

1324
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 4: I was younger are now possible, so they will probably

1325
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 4: be footing the bill for everyone at dinner. However, even

1326
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 4: if my parents don't end up picking up the whole tab,

1327
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 4: my sister and her husband both have cushy government jobs

1328
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 4: where they both make pretty good money, so I don't

1329
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 4: think cost is the issue. Honestly, I think it might

1330
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 4: be an image thing, because I love my sister and

1331
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 4: brother in law, but they haven't done a great job

1332
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 4: at disciplining my god daughter. She's always very good when

1333
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 4: she's with me or my parents, her grandparents, but they

1334
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 4: seem to struggle to get her to listen to them.

1335
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 4: I think my sister may be worried that her daughter

1336
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 4: will embarrass her by misbehaving in a nice setting like that,

1337
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 4: so maybe that's what it is.

1338
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1339
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 4: This is all speculation on my part. My goddaughter is

1340
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 4: not at all a pickie eater. There are a few

1341
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 4: things here and there that she doesn't like, but overall,

1342
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 4: she'll eat anything you put in front of her. This

1343
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 4: restaurant is a rustic Italian place with different flatbreads and

1344
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 4: even burgers and fries. There are plenty of options that

1345
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 4: she'll eat, so I don't think that's the issue either. Also,

1346
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 4: this isn't like an adult's only place. I've seen younger

1347
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 4: kids go there many times in the past. Some have

1348
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 4: asked about my relationship.

1349
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 2: With my sisters.

1350
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 4: My older sisters are my half sisters. My dad was

1351
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 4: married and divorced before he met my mom. When he

1352
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,440
Speaker 4: and my mom got together, they had me and my

1353
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 4: younger sister. There's a pretty significant age gap between us,

1354
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 4: but they've always been.

1355
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 2: My sister's never just half sisters to me.

1356
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 4: The oldest with the baby is thirty six female, and

1357
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 4: the second oldest with the fifteen year old this thirty

1358
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:06,640
Speaker 4: five female. Again, for reference, I'm twenty three female and

1359
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 4: my younger sister just turned twenty back in June. I

1360
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 4: saw a few questions about me getting my masters so young,

1361
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:15,480
Speaker 4: and again, thank you for all the well wishes. I

1362
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 4: went into college in August to twenty twenty and graduated early.

1363
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 4: With my bachelor's back in December of twenty twenty three.

1364
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 4: I immediately jumped straight into my master's program. I wanted

1365
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 4: this higher degree and knew if I took a gap

1366
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 4: year or something like that, I'd probably never come back.

1367
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 4: So I hustled up to my course load and will

1368
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 4: be finished very soon. Now onto the update, because the

1369
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 4: situation has been evolving.

1370
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 2: As I mentioned before.

1371
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 4: My two older sisters are going to be there, my

1372
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:42,800
Speaker 4: best friend and my younger sister, who is currently still

1373
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 4: in her undergrad years at the same school. For further context,

1374
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 4: I'm the first of my parents' children to not only

1375
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 4: get a master's degree, but to complete any kind of

1376
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 4: college degree at all. My oldest sister with the baby,

1377
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 4: went to my school for about half a semester before

1378
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 4: dropping out and joining the army, and my second oldest

1379
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:02,160
Speaker 4: sister never.

1380
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 2: Went to school at all.

1381
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 4: Now, my school is notorious for being a party school.

1382
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 4: I won't say what university is ASU, but we've been

1383
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 4: in the news several times for a myriad of reasons. Yes,

1384
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:20,200
Speaker 4: that's actually Asu ASU, which they do have very prestigious programs.

1385
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 2: They do certain ones for sure, but that's funny, but

1386
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 2: bear down.

1387
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 4: That being said, I thought it might be fun for me,

1388
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,919
Speaker 4: my best friend, and my sisters to go out after

1389
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 4: dinner and grab a drinky Pooh, kind of like a

1390
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 4: girl's night to cap off the evening. There are a

1391
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 4: few places that were my favorites, and because my second

1392
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 4: oldest sister never went to the school, we thought it

1393
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 4: would be cool to show her around. She seemed really

1394
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 4: excited to see it too. My oldest sister, let's just

1395
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 4: go ahead and call her. Danielle was not a fan

1396
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 4: of this idea. She said in front of the whole

1397
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:53,040
Speaker 4: family that she didn't want to go out with my

1398
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 4: second oldest sister, Renee, because Danielle said that Renee can.

1399
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 2: Get embarrassing when she drinks.

1400
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,080
Speaker 4: She even tried to get me to stop talking about

1401
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 4: going out altogether because she didn't want the idea planted

1402
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 4: in Renee's head. To be fair, Renee has gotten pretty

1403
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,479
Speaker 4: belligerent a few times in the past, but she's grown

1404
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 4: up and met a wonderful partner who is good both

1405
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 4: for her and to her, and she isn't that same

1406
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 4: irresponsible kid anymore. She genuinely seemed really excited to go

1407
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 4: out and see my old stomping grounds. If we do

1408
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 4: go out together, because it was just an idea that

1409
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 4: popped into my head.

1410
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 2: She won't act like that now.

1411
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 4: We wouldn't be doing it to go get super wasted

1412
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 4: and then come home to wake up all the kids.

1413
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 4: It would really be more like a tour for Renee

1414
01:03:35,320 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 4: to see campus and maybe we'll have a drink or two,

1415
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 4: and we do have a little bit more story left here.

1416
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 4: But I think I think I'm just going out, like

1417
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 4: I'm not even being like, Danielle, why are you like this?

1418
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 4: I'm just going like, Okay, you don't have to come.

1419
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Like okay, Like we're just letting you know

1420
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 3: that that's what we're gonna be doing. Like you're so

1421
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 3: welcome to come if you change your mind, but.

1422
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know you don't need to ko Oh, let's

1423
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 2: finish this off.

1424
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,680
Speaker 4: I dug my heels in and said I'd like for

1425
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 4: Renee to come out with us. Danielle says she doesn't

1426
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 4: want to go out after dinner now, but I know

1427
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 4: my sister, she'll get really bad FOMO and end up

1428
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 4: coming anyway, at this point, I'm kind of tired of

1429
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 4: tiptoeing around her feelings. So I'm just going to say

1430
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 4: to everyone, if you want to come, come, If you don't, don't,

1431
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 4: here you go. If you want to come to dinner

1432
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 4: and go out with us, by all means, we'd love

1433
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:25,479
Speaker 4: to have you, And if you don't, that's perfectly fine

1434
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 4: as well. I made it abundantly clear to all parties

1435
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 4: involved that they don't have to come. I would totally

1436
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 4: understand given the travel element and the timing of it all.

1437
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 4: I just wanted to extend the invite, but they had

1438
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 4: the option. I told everyone that under no circumstances are

1439
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:42,439
Speaker 4: they obligated to be there. Oh and by the way,

1440
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 4: I'm not changing the reservation. Yes, I kind of forgot

1441
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 4: about that. Thank you for not doing that.

1442
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 2: Whoo.

1443
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 4: The comments from everyone really showed me that I wasn't

1444
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 4: being ridiculous, which is what I felt I was being,

1445
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 4: and that the worst she could do was just not come.

1446
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 4: I feel a lot better and lighter about this situation,

1447
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 4: So thank you so much to everyone for helping me

1448
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 4: see the light.