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Speaker 1: So this is third week of Design Your Life, August.

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Speaker 1: I hope you guys are enjoying the guests. I hope

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Speaker 1: you loved our episode with Mistress Marley. If you haven't,

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Speaker 1: you definitely need to check it out. She's a bad bitch,

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Speaker 1: doming all types of men, specifically white ones in New

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Speaker 1: York City.

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Speaker 2: We even have a tiny small feature from one of

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Speaker 2: her subs on last week's episode, so you should definitely

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Speaker 2: check that out because it's the first time we've had

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Speaker 2: an actual sub on our show, so it's a celebration.

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Speaker 3: It was amazing.

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Speaker 1: I text her the other day and I said, you

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Speaker 1: need to bring your ass to LA and she said, okay, bitch,

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Speaker 1: I say.

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Speaker 2: You're to practice, like look at to be trying to

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Speaker 2: be dominating Mistress Marley.

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Speaker 3: I'm not comfortable.

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Speaker 2: Oh we did. We also she gave us permission to

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Speaker 2: dom her sub a little bit, which was kind of

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Speaker 2: I think I was really getting into it. I think,

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Speaker 2: actually I need to design my life to have a

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Speaker 2: second career as a dom because it's in my nature.

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Speaker 3: And if you guys haven't.

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Speaker 1: Joined our Patreon, you're missing out because you can watch

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Speaker 1: all this shit on Patreon.

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Speaker 3: You can watch all of our episodes on Patreon.

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Speaker 1: I feel like people don't know that we I think

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Speaker 1: they see our clips on Instagram, but we have like

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Speaker 1: full length episodes that you can watch on Patreon, including

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Speaker 1: us doming Mistress Marley's.

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Speaker 2: Sub I even dress sexy that day you did.

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Speaker 3: She had stripper heels and everything. I was not prepared.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm the sex of the podcast, which will stop.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna have to figure out what I am

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Speaker 3: on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: We could both be the sex of the podcast.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I am the sex. I just don't have

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Speaker 3: to say it.

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Speaker 2: Well, I say it, and I am it, and it

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Speaker 2: is it.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't have to say It's just people just.

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Speaker 2: Know I'm the domb of the podcast. I'm the sex

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Speaker 2: of the podcast, and I'm the sexy voice of the Push.

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Speaker 1: She's also the Leo Rising of the podcast. God, So

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited because today we have a special guest

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Speaker 1: all the way from Maryland, and you guys have tagged

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Speaker 1: me on her Instagram a few different times, and so

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited to bring the Funny Mama aka Catrees

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Speaker 1: onto Good Moms.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Hey, how are you all so.

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Speaker 1: Good, we're good, we're good, and so katrise, I don't

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Speaker 1: think he's ever pulled a card, but today we made

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Speaker 1: her shuffle them and pulled pull a card. I pulled one,

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Speaker 1: which was really scary. Apparently it was the double card.

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Speaker 4: I hadn't touched the deck, so she was.

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Speaker 1: Like, no, no, no, that time, let me put my

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Speaker 1: mad And so we're going to read two card polls today.

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Speaker 3: She pulled the Sun card, So first.

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Speaker 2: The Devil card. I think sometimes we pull cards and

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Speaker 2: we have a misconception of what they mean. Just like

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Speaker 2: in life, things happen, they seem bad, they seem like

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Speaker 2: maybe a world's gonna end, but oftentimes there's underlying messages.

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Speaker 2: So let's see what the underlying messages with the devil today,

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Speaker 2: because I'm sure there's some good in the devil. The

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Speaker 2: devil card represents your shadow or darker self and the

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Speaker 2: negative forces that can strain you and hold you back

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Speaker 2: from being the best version of yourself. You may be

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Speaker 2: at the effect of negative habits, dependencies, behaviors, thought patterns, relationships,

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Speaker 2: and addictions. You have found yourself trapped between the short

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Speaker 2: term pleasure you receive and the longer term pain you experience.

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Speaker 4: Ooh, this does not sound en urging at all.

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Speaker 2: Good. This is good. This is a self reflection. Everybody

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Speaker 2: has a shadow side, it's just we're not always down

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Speaker 2: to explore that. And I think this is a good time.

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Speaker 2: The devil card often appears when you have been tricked

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Speaker 2: into thinking you have no control over your shadow self

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Speaker 2: or these negative forces, and that you can never break

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Speaker 2: free from their hold. You believe you need it and

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Speaker 2: you must have it, even if it means going against

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Speaker 2: what you know to be right to obtain it. Wow,

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Speaker 2: this is for me. On the positive side, let's skip

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Speaker 2: right down to the bottom. Biddy can also show a

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Speaker 2: powerful attachment between two people, such as a mom and

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Speaker 2: her newborn, or a new romance still in its honeymoon phase.

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Speaker 2: Be careful, though, because with the devil card, this healthy

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Speaker 2: attachment can turn into an unhealthy codependent relationship if you

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Speaker 2: lose connection with your inner guidance or you don't protect

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Speaker 2: your personal boundaries. Moms, if your whole life world in

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Speaker 2: existence is your motherfucking kid, you may need to come

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Speaker 2: up for air and remember who the fuck you are.

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Speaker 2: Even your child can be a negative attachment if you

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Speaker 2: don't have attachment to your motherfucking self.

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Speaker 5: Amen.

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Speaker 2: The devil can also represent sexuality in your wild side.

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Speaker 2: You may be exploring bondage fetishes and your deepest, darkest fantasy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Bdsnain freaky Bitty told you.

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Speaker 2: The Devil's not all that. If you can do this

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Speaker 2: within a safe, sacred space, it can be very enriching experience. However,

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Speaker 2: it has the potential to turn into something that you

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Speaker 2: may be unsafe for you.

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Speaker 4: Okay, just just keep on bringing it beast.

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Speaker 2: End it there. If you have some dark fantasies you

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Speaker 2: want to explore now the time.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think this.

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Speaker 1: Actually is in line with the theme of the month,

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Speaker 1: which is redesigning your life and you know, at attaching

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Speaker 1: yourself to things that you know are not serving you

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Speaker 1: and comfortable on the things that you know intuitively are

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we attach our things. I call it, well, I

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Speaker 2: think everyone calls them trauma bonds. And sometimes it long

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Speaker 2: term doesn't really feel good, but we're so used to

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Speaker 2: it being comfortable that it's almost like satanism, Like you

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Speaker 2: hurt yourself because it feels good temporarily, but long term

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Speaker 2: it doesn't feel good. But some strange part of you

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Speaker 2: is addicted and attached to the pain because somewhere in

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Speaker 2: your lifetime and your childhood probably it's felt comfortable and familiar.

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Speaker 2: Be careful of what's familiar because familiar airity can definitely

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Speaker 2: be does not equal good, and it can be perceived

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Speaker 2: as comfortable and it's not good.

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Speaker 4: Do you know my therapist told me what she told

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Speaker 4: me because I was like, why do I always choose

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Speaker 4: the bad guy? And she said, or like a relationship

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Speaker 4: where we're like fussing all the time, and it's like why,

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Speaker 4: And she said, what did you see growing up? Because

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Speaker 4: whatever you saw growing up, even if it was just

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Speaker 4: like if you watch TV all the time, good TV,

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Speaker 4: there's arguing, there's this and that, or you know your

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Speaker 4: parents or whatever, that's what you associate with love. So

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Speaker 4: when a good guy comes along who you're not arguing

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Speaker 4: or fighting with, you feel like this isn't love, this

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Speaker 4: isn't real. So that's what I'm working on in therapy.

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Speaker 2: I literally just had this conversation before we started. I

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Speaker 2: was like, I'm being triggered by my parents, but I'm

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Speaker 2: thirty three years old. They're fighting, so it's affecting me,

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Speaker 2: but it's yeah, it's so cutely that love that you're

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Speaker 2: familiar with, You know, the healthy love you were supposed

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Speaker 2: to see. Anyway, onto more positive things. The Sun.

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Speaker 3: What is the sun card?

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Speaker 2: The sun? Would you like to read it?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 1: The Sun positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitality. The sun represents success, radiance,

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Speaker 1: and abundance. The sun gives you strength and tell you

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Speaker 1: that no matter where you go or what you do,

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Speaker 1: your positive and radiant energy will follow you and bring

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Speaker 1: you happiness and joy. People are drawn to you because

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Speaker 1: you can always see the bright side and bring such

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Speaker 1: warmth into other people's lives. The beautiful warm energy is

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Speaker 1: what will get you through the tough times and help

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Speaker 1: you succeed. If you're going through a difficult time, the

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Speaker 1: sun brings you the message you have been waiting for

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Speaker 1: that things will get better, a lot better. Through the

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Speaker 1: challenges along your path, you discovered who you are and

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Speaker 1: why you're here. Now you are full of energy and

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Speaker 1: zeal for the future and can already perceive success and

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Speaker 1: abundance flowing to you. The sun connects you to the

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Speaker 1: power base. It's not fear driven egotistical, but abundant inner

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Speaker 1: energy radiating through you right now.

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Speaker 2: Well, God, damn. Yeah, I like that if you do

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Speaker 2: the work and you deal with your shadow sides, and

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Speaker 2: you deal and delve in all the darkness that your

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Speaker 2: soul is harboring in. At the end of the tunnel,

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Speaker 2: it's the sun, your truest self, the light, the beam

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Speaker 2: and the success. Perfect for designing your life because you

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Speaker 2: have to do the work to get to where you

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Speaker 2: want to go and be in the sun.

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Speaker 3: A man, I'm.

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Speaker 2: A cherot card reader. Bitch pulls two cards.

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Speaker 3: I believe it.

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Speaker 1: You know, if I saw it, and if I went

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Speaker 1: and got a reading and you broke it down like

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Speaker 1: you know, the bitch was right.

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Speaker 3: She said that I had at least the trauma bonds.

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Speaker 1: She was using all the words hot words, the hot

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Speaker 1: words and the streets.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I feel like that's though. These

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Speaker 3: card pools were balanced.

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Speaker 2: They're balanced. I feel like they're speaking to me. I

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Speaker 2: have a lot of the double Moment's sunning going on.

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Speaker 1: So well, welcome to the show. Catrees. Can you tell

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Speaker 1: our listeners a little about you? I know your mama,

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Speaker 1: Maybe tell them how many kids you?

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Speaker 4: Yes, I'm a mom of three, so two that our

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Speaker 4: birth and one bonus baby. And I have two teenagers

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Speaker 4: and one is four.

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Speaker 3: I started all over.

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Speaker 4: It's so much fun. I was right there. The finish

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Speaker 4: line was right there. Yeah. So I've been a mom

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Speaker 4: literally my entire adult life. I was pregnant when I

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Speaker 4: was eighteen. I had him when I was nineteen, so

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Speaker 4: I never got that time to like let loosen that

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Speaker 4: mom anxiety has always been there. It's great.

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Speaker 1: You had mentioned before we were talking that you kind

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Speaker 1: of grew up in like a religious family or like well,

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Speaker 1: and that you were cause you got married.

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Speaker 4: You got married when you Yes, I got married at nineteen.

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Speaker 4: But my family, like my mom and my dad. My mom,

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Speaker 4: you know, would take us to church every Sunday and

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Speaker 4: stuff like that. My dad isn't very religious. He believes

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Speaker 4: in God, but it's pretty much the extent of his religion.

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Speaker 4: And my mom, she is very religious, but she was

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Speaker 4: never She's like the rubbull of her family, so she

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Speaker 4: never was pushing anything on us or anything like that.

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Speaker 4: We went to church, we prayed, and we were kind

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Speaker 4: human beings. That's all she they really pushed. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: I got married at nineteen because I got pregnant and

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Speaker 4: it just felt like the right thing to do. I

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Speaker 4: didn't want my family to think I was just hoeing

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Speaker 4: out here. And then we got divorced a year and

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Speaker 4: a half later, so it was so much fun. That

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Speaker 4: was even a bigger scandal. So yeah, and then I

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Speaker 4: got remarried at twenty eight or twenty six, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know the time well.

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Speaker 3: In between that time.

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Speaker 1: So you were divorced in twenty one and then you

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Speaker 1: remarried at twenty eight, Like what was like dating as

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Speaker 1: a single mom and then being that young too and

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Speaker 1: being a mom?

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Speaker 3: Like, what was that like like? Because I think for us,

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Speaker 3: we had our kids.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're not little a lot later in life,

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Speaker 1: but we were, you know, in our later ends of twenties.

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Speaker 1: Whereas when you have a child at twenty one and

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Speaker 1: you're you're trying to date, Like, what is that like?

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Speaker 1: Because I know we do have some listeners that are

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Speaker 1: that are young young parents.

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Speaker 4: I think a lot before I met the person that

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Speaker 4: i'm divorcing now, before that, I was more focused on

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Speaker 4: showing my friends like I'm still here, I still got it.

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Speaker 4: I was the only person who had a kid. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: don't worry, I'm still going out. I'm still doing this.

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Speaker 4: And in that the only guys that I would meet

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Speaker 4: were basically full of shit.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: It's from like the club this and then and whatever.

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Speaker 4: It's like why are you doing to see yourself? But

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Speaker 4: I love that shit. And yeah, I think my whole

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Speaker 4: focus was because everybody made it seem like you became

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Speaker 4: a mom, your life is over. And I feel like

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Speaker 4: that's just what people do. That's what society does. It's

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Speaker 4: like when you buy a car, as soon as you

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Speaker 4: drive it off the lot, it depreciates. And that's how

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Speaker 4: people treat people who are moms. It's like the moment

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Speaker 4: you're pregnant, it's like okay, oh you're pregnant, okay, whatever,

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Speaker 4: you have the baby, and it's like, well you're not

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Speaker 4: good anymore. You can't do this, you can't do that.

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Speaker 4: And it just always was like rules. And for me,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm twenty one, Like I still want to,

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Speaker 4: you know, have fun, be twenty one. So I would

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Speaker 4: say to still live your best life. Just block your

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Speaker 4: kids from your social media so they can't see what

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Speaker 4: you all. My kids are blocked for my stories. Really

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Speaker 4: they can see like my page, but they're like blocked,

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Speaker 4: but their friends find me I have to like block. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's none of your damn business what's

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Speaker 4: on there. I'm most of the time talking about you anyway.

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Speaker 4: I don't need to cause any trauma in your life

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Speaker 4: that you're gonna go to therapy for later, because I

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Speaker 4: love you. But I'm venting to my friends, so that's it. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, No.

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Speaker 1: I feel that our kids are only six, so they

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Speaker 1: probably know how to use social media better than most though,

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Speaker 1: because Iri be in my phone knowing how to use

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Speaker 1: stories and shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like putting on the filter.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday I fell asleep. Why did she get my phone

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Speaker 1: take a picture of me asleep and send it to

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Speaker 1: like five people? And I yeah, And then I got

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Speaker 1: I woke up to like text messages like are you okay?

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Speaker 1: What's going on? Like why are you sending me this?

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Speaker 1: I was like, why the fuck do you think I

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Speaker 1: would send you this? My six year old sent me

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Speaker 1: that and it was a beautiful photo too. I'm a

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Speaker 1: post it.

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Speaker 3: I was like, wow, I look really cute.

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Speaker 2: Sleep that was really cute.

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Speaker 4: Sleep.

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Speaker 2: Well, before we get into this, do you have any affirmations?

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Speaker 2: We usually ask our guests to give our listeners an affirmation.

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Speaker 2: Are there any affirmations that you tell yourself or that

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Speaker 2: like your go to favorite affirmations.

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Speaker 4: Yes, this one I've been saying for the past two weeks.

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Speaker 4: Everything I need to succeed, I already have within myself.

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Speaker 2: Everything I need to succeed, I already have within myself. Hmm,

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Speaker 2: I received that.

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Speaker 3: It's true.

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Speaker 4: I thought you guys were about to put a spell

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Speaker 4: on me. I didn't know what happened. You guys took

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Speaker 4: a deep breath. At the same time, I was like, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Erica and I are oddly, strangely very connected in some

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Speaker 2: strange way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what she's doing. When she doesn't even

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Speaker 1: tell me, I'd be like, girl, already.

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Speaker 5: She be you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, this bitch is in my head.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I can't not tell her. And then

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Speaker 2: she's like, I already knew.

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Speaker 1: Get on of my burn Also our drop box, and

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Speaker 1: I know because we have a shared drop box, and

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Speaker 1: the bitch doesn't know how to disconnect her personal photos

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Speaker 1: from the dropbox, so I'll be seeing all her shait.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, girl, I don't need to know.

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Speaker 4: I didn't need to see that.

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Speaker 2: Then she screenshots them and send them Tommy randomly. It's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you didn't need to screenshot it. I knew

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Speaker 2: what was in there. Just verbalize it, bitch, nowhere sding

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Speaker 2: in the dropbox? Got it?

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Speaker 3: What a oh? I'm like, what's you remember? You know

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Speaker 3: I'm not good with these abbreviations.

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Speaker 1: The other day, she kept talking like she shared something

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Speaker 1: with me, and someone kept putting, like, y T.

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Speaker 2: Why it's from the internet. I just learned, And I

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Speaker 2: was like, what the fuck is why T? No, it's

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Speaker 2: w y T. She didn't know it w YT is

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Speaker 2: and then P I P W It.

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Speaker 3: Was just y T. Bitch, it's white white.

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Speaker 4: That yeah, but I would only know if it was

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Speaker 4: in context.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand why they developed y T. And then

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Speaker 2: they put P I P O for people. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: why are we not spelling out white people? Why does

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Speaker 2: it have to be to brief?

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Speaker 4: Sometimes are being lazy secret?

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Speaker 2: I think white people know.

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Speaker 1: She kept saying like in this text and like kept

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Speaker 1: saying why T, And I was like, what the fuck

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Speaker 1: are we talking about?

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Speaker 2: She was like, our friend was talking about a guy

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Speaker 2: and she's like, yeah, he's hit T and he just

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Speaker 2: he wants to go Dutch everywhere. I don't know why

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Speaker 2: he was, why she had anything to do with it.

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Speaker 2: I'm going Dutch, but Dutch.

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Speaker 4: You don't know what that is.

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Speaker 2: One hundred.

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Speaker 4: I've never heard anyone say splits. You want to go

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Speaker 4: split sees?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm just wondering if that's what it is, Like,

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Speaker 2: I gotta get it for the bench that says res

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Speaker 2: she's like. I was like, yeah, this guy text me

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Speaker 2: and was like, yeah, I made her res I was like,

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Speaker 2: how white?

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Speaker 1: She was like, bitch, I'm from the valley. Like that's

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Speaker 1: a valley girl, like a reservation.

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Speaker 3: Yes, like a resie.

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Speaker 2: Who says that, like, oh, don't wear a girl made

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Speaker 2: the reds.

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Speaker 3: Made the rest. No, the same bitch that says loul.

350
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,880
Speaker 2: I say lol for lool and then she was like lol,

351
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Speaker 2: I hate it and said saying lol, I say Lou.

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Speaker 2: This forty six some second conversation about abbreviations we don't

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Speaker 2: understand from the internet. No, but when I first read

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Speaker 2: white People, I was like, what, peeple what? I was like, oh,

355
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Speaker 2: white people. It's like a minute, I know I am

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Speaker 2: never I'm still not sure why we have to use code.

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Speaker 4: You guys, I think that I don't think it's a

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Speaker 4: good code. I think they know pretty obvious.

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Speaker 2: Well, apparently it's not like black people. No, what's black

360
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 2: b lkls Q. I don't know be BLX. You know

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Speaker 2: white people can't do anything. Are they can't do anything

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Speaker 2: to us? We'll go crazy. We get to have BT,

363
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Speaker 2: but they can't have anything. No, you had slavery, So

364
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up. I'm joking, but I know I

365
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,520
Speaker 2: make David. It's so uncomfortable. I love you, David. It's

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Speaker 2: not fun if we don't talk about it and joke

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 4: He's like respect.

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Speaker 2: Anyway. Sorry, all this white people talk black to.

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Speaker 1: Momming back to today's affirmation, you have everything you need

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Speaker 1: inside of you. Oh right, I do believe that. I

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Speaker 1: believe that, although I think I sometimes you forget, especially

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Speaker 1: in the age of social media, and like looking on

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Speaker 1: the GRAM, you'd be thinking you need a lot of shit.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, do I.

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00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 1: Need that Louis bag? I can't afford it. But she

377
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 1: had it, and she looked cute and it looked like she

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00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:04,439
Speaker 1: needed it.

379
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Speaker 3: Why don't I have it?

380
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 2: They have a yacht. Why do I have a yacht

381
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 2: and a man? Fuck? That's what I think, mostly on

382
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:14,719
Speaker 2: Sierra's page because she's triggering as fun her and Russell.

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00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 4: Oh they really are in Italy. I was like, you're

384
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:23,160
Speaker 4: right on the boat. Wow. No, it's Lori Harvey. And

385
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Speaker 4: what's his name? I don't even know. I used to

386
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,920
Speaker 4: be in love with him, but now he's just what's

387
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,639
Speaker 4: his name of? Michael?

388
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Speaker 3: Michael.

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Speaker 4: I don't even like to say his name.

390
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Speaker 3: I'm glad he's finally, you know, this dating black woman.

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Speaker 3: I'm proud of him.

392
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,919
Speaker 4: Oh, because he was on that boat that time with

393
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 4: that it was.

394
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Speaker 3: On many boats.

395
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Speaker 2: He doesn't he's they're cute.

396
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,800
Speaker 4: They're so cute. But it's like, if they ever break up,

397
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 4: who could follow Lori Harvey?

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00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 3: That's what I say. Like, we had a rant a

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Speaker 3: few weeks ago. I don't know when it was.

400
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,080
Speaker 1: What was it, I don't know last week's episode and

401
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 1: I was talking about we pulled a card and I

402
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 1: was talking about this one girl who I follow on

403
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Speaker 1: social media who like is always posting her man and

404
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Speaker 1: like she has had never had a man, and like

405
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Speaker 1: won't stop posting him.

406
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 3: And I'm like, girl, if y'all.

407
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 4: Break up, Like yeah, that's why you can't.

408
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,119
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to go through your whole feed and delete.

409
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 4: You gotta like sprinkle them here and there. You can't

410
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 4: leave it.

411
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't do posting. And because I don't really

412
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,119
Speaker 2: feel like going back to weed out, like I've been

413
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 2: broke up with a baby daddy for four years, I

414
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 2: went back to my shit. I was like, why have

415
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: I not deleted some of this shit?

416
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 3: Well? You know you know what my I hold.

417
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 1: I wrote a whole poem about my beef with you know,

418
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 1: my ex not posting me. But I've come a long way.

419
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: I don't care anymore. But back way when when I

420
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Speaker 1: was twenty four, it would irritate.

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Speaker 2: But does it make you feel a little special, Like

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Speaker 2: like now, if you're dating someone and they posted you

423
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 2: like yeah no, because.

424
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: My age is from last year during COVID my practice relationship.

425
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Speaker 2: Oh god, he took it to me.

426
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 3: He posted it. He would post me all the time

427
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 3: and I'd be so uncomfortable.

428
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:47,399
Speaker 1: And I know he was doing it because like he

429
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 1: wanted me to post him, and I was like, this

430
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 1: is not going to make me post you.

431
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 3: He tag you.

432
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Speaker 2: You know that's interesting because first of all, social media

433
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,160
Speaker 2: is just interesting in general. Because I was looking at

434
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,080
Speaker 2: your page before you got here, and last night it

435
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 2: because I'm a stalker, and I was like looking at

436
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 2: the kids. I was looking at all your videos. I

437
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 2: was laughing and shit, I saw like your switch video

438
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 2: with your son. And then I was like, where is

439
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 2: her husband? She looks like she's a beautiful life over there.

440
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful kitchen. Where is her man? Is this

441
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 2: her man?

442
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 3: I'm so, I'm so fucking nosey.

443
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 2: I'm like, I bet she was a really cute man.

444
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 2: Those kills are cute.

445
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 3: Where's the man?

446
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 2: Where's her husband?

447
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 3: And then she's like deep.

448
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 2: I'm like is this man or husband? Is that her uncle?

449
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 3: I don't know?

450
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,200
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm just like the lies of the Internet.

451
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 2: And then Eric is like she's getting a divorce. I'm like, oh,

452
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,199
Speaker 2: did you take him off? No, maybe that wasn't your

453
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 2: uncle that I saw.

454
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,119
Speaker 4: It's probably my dad. If it was just a video

455
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 4: that was my dad. I mean, how do you go

456
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 4: ask her because it's my dad? You know? But other

457
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 4: people when I post him, my friends included, you know,

458
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 4: they get disrespectful.

459
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,639
Speaker 3: I think you're doing it on Oh.

460
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 2: He is fine? I want daddy? Yeah, yep, you do.

461
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh, I thought she was picking up her phone.

462
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 1: I'm out because Teresa's friend is here too, and she's

463
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 1: naughty outside.

464
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: To look at her house, like, oh that was her daddy, right, Okay.

465
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 4: Yeah it looks like you. Yeah, well I love you.

466
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,360
Speaker 4: Oh thanks. I think you should sprinkle people in here

467
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 4: and there. But I feel like, I mean, I was

468
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 4: getting separated for I've been separated now for a year,

469
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 4: but I just announced it two months ago because people

470
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 4: are like, why are you doing this by yourself? Why

471
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 4: are you doing I was like doing you know, which

472
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 4: I love, like building shit, doing stuff, but they're like,

473
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 4: ain't nobody gonna help. I'm like posting videos of me

474
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 4: looking stupid trying to carry a piece of wood, like

475
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 4: I could fucking do all myself, you know. And when

476
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 4: I posted it, everybody was like, what you are? And

477
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 4: I feel like, for me, I'm so open about my

478
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 4: life that there's certain parts that I do want to

479
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 4: be able to have control of, and with that I

480
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 4: could take my time, you know, when I was ready

481
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,479
Speaker 4: to share that I was getting a divorce and you know,

482
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 4: all of that stuff. And now, you know, people probably

483
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 4: think I'm like wilding out because I'm like out all

484
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 4: the time, I'd be posting myself in bikinis and this

485
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 4: and that, which was never a thing for me. But

486
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 4: it's like, no, I mean it's been a year. Now

487
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,880
Speaker 4: I'm ready to start well, I don't know if I'm

488
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 4: ready to start dating. I don't know. It has to

489
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 4: be somebody who like knocks my stick.

490
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 3: How long were you guys together?

491
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 1: For eleven years so most of I mean, I don't

492
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 1: know hold you are, but for probably most of your

493
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: adult life essentially like with third twenty three to Yeah.

494
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: You've had a lot of experiences. So you had like

495
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 2: a very young marriage as a single mom, you did

496
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,400
Speaker 2: your thing, dated a little bit, and then you got

497
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 2: married and it's like obviously any marriage is serious, and

498
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,159
Speaker 2: a serious marriage like yeah, this was my serious this

499
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 2: was my for real, for real marriage, and like obviously

500
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 2: there's different like how you act hopefully if you're not

501
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 2: me in a relationship and when you're single, it's different.

502
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 2: But like even you saying like now I'm posting a bikinis,

503
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 2: was that an issue in your marriage?

504
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 4: Like no, I think that was with me. So when

505
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 4: I got pregnant with CJ, like I had stretch marks

506
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 4: all over and I was like super about my stomach

507
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 4: before you know, I was young. I'm like, bitch, hello,

508
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,159
Speaker 4: and then he fucked it up. No, no, he's not

509
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 4: gonna listen to this, but it was I was like, what.

510
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 2: The hell he did?

511
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 4: I was like what the fuck? So for a while

512
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 4: and then my mistake was dating this guy right before

513
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 4: see Ashton's dad, who was the fucking worst. I never

514
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 4: have used the term like that. I hate somebody, but

515
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 4: still I have to shake it. I really can't stand him,

516
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 4: but he would say shit. I actually wrote a blog

517
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 4: post about how it broke up with him. It was

518
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 4: the most glorious breakup of my life. He was a

519
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 4: trust fun baby, so everything he thought he could buy,

520
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 4: and I knew I was gonna break up with him.

521
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, you're full of shit. He's like he was

522
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 4: like verbally abusive. People say like shit. That was just

523
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 4: like yo, why One of the things was like who's

524
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: gonna want you? You're divorcing your stretch marks? And he

525
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 4: would say he and I was like what the fuck?

526
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 4: So I knew I want to break up with him,

527
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 4: but my birthday party was coming up my birthday and

528
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,439
Speaker 4: my friends was like, uh uh, he's throwing you this

529
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 4: huge party. You need to have the party and then

530
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 4: break up. And I'm like, you know what, you're right,

531
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 4: You're right. So he got me my whole outfit, he

532
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 4: got me like everything. We went to dinner first, and

533
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 4: then we had at that point, what was the pink

534
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 4: champagne that everybody was pressed over when we were young,

535
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 4: when we were like, no but one the pink? Was

536
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 4: it just rosette? Is it just? No? It wasn't. I

537
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 4: don't know what it was. But he eached I don't remember,

538
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 4: but he got us each two bottles. We were like

539
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 4: fucked up in the club. You know, I'm like, I

540
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 4: think I was twenty three. I'm like, oh, yes, bitch,

541
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 4: blah blah blah whatever. Whatever. And then the next day

542
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 4: we went out to eat with my family. And I'm

543
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 4: very good at talking about people and making it a joke.

544
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 4: It's not something that I'm proud of, but if you're

545
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 4: a bad person, if you're a bully, it's my favorite

546
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 4: thing to do. And so all of a sudden, I

547
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 4: just started lighting up at the table and all my

548
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 4: family is looking like what the fuck is going on?

549
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 4: And he was getting so mad, and then he was

550
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 4: like I'm ready to go back, and I was like, oh,

551
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 4: all right because he came from out of town. So

552
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 4: he went back to the hotel room. I got my

553
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,959
Speaker 4: stuff and he's like, what are you doing. I was like, oh,

554
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 4: we're done, and he was like wait, but we just

555
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 4: had the party. I know, think you goodbye, and I

556
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 4: like walked out and left and it was like for me,

557
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 4: I just remember walking out like I'm a boss ass

558
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 4: bitch bitch with like my bag like you, and it

559
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 4: was the greatest thing ever because I was like, you're

560
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 4: full of shit and you just pay all this money

561
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 4: for me to have the most amazing time with my

562
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 4: friends and thank you for your services.

563
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: And then you're all that is a virgo shit. That

564
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 3: is a virgo ass shit calculating yes.

565
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: I know I'll do it after that, thank you, I've

566
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 2: already just connected for it.

567
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 4: It was It was very well timed and planned. And

568
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 4: I didn't start talking about hiuntil I was done with

569
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 4: my food because I knew how it was going to

570
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 4: go down and my food was delicious.

571
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: So yes, I think, like I just men that talk

572
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: about a woman's body in that way, but will but

573
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: we'll lay down with you and have no problem, Like

574
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: it's just so yeah.

575
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 2: Just be littling and disrespecting women to make yourself feel better,

576
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 2: or like it's just an insecure act overall, like you're

577
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: a bitch ass and I guess, but.

578
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 4: It stuck with me for a very long time. You know,

579
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 4: it really made me, and society makes it makes you

580
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 4: have a real beef with society if you can't tell

581
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 4: with the way they make moms feel. But it makes

582
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 4: you feel like stretch marks are like hideous, it's ugly,

583
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 4: and it's like ninety percent of women have stretch marks,

584
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 4: regardless of you had a baby or not, and all

585
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 4: women once our stomach's or if your stomach gets messed

586
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 4: up after a baby, it's like cover it up. You

587
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 4: can't show it. You can't show it anymore, you know

588
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 4: you can't. You could have been if you get pregnant

589
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 4: at twenty one, you're taking body shots off of somebody

590
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 4: doing this, and then you get pregnant, and then as

591
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 4: soon as the baby comes out, it's like, well, you

592
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 4: can't do that, that's true. You can't have them, you

593
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 4: can't have no more fun. It's like you get shoved

594
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 4: in this box and I hate that.

595
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 2: That's what that's my Also my question to you is

596
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 2: like I think it's sometimes even harder when you're young,

597
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 2: and first of all, you're already being like shamed for

598
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 2: having a baby young, and then there's all these expectation

599
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: of you. You know, you're getting married, you're getting a divorced,

600
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: your body changes. I think when you are young mom,

601
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 2: you have even more pressure to act in a way

602
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 2: and to not go out and not act your age

603
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: and like forget who you are, because it's like if

604
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 2: you do anything out of the scope of that, everyone is.

605
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 4: Like, told me, yep, told you exactly.

606
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: Told you that you were that.

607
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 3: Exactly.

608
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: They can't wait, like as a grown ass woman, as

609
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 2: a twenty seven year old woman, twenty six year old women, people, friends,

610
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 2: family members couldn't wait to kind of like jump down

611
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: what they thought you weren't doing motherly enough. So like

612
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 2: how did you even find enough? Like I mean, obviously

613
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 2: you're committed, You're like, bitch, I'm about to live this life,

614
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: which I commend because I'm sure you got a lot

615
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 2: of judgment, Like how did you deal with that judgment?

616
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 2: And like, you know, being a single mom and still

617
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: remembering who you were that young with everybody else's I'm

618
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: sure negative fucking oh well.

619
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: Back then, I mean I was still in their face

620
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 4: trying to be like, oh no, not doing anything, and

621
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 4: social media was just becoming a thing, you know that

622
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 4: was like, I don't know, like ten years ago, so

623
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 4: it was like it wasn't there weren't any stories. You

624
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 4: weren't really posting all the crazy shit you were doing.

625
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 4: You could really stage your life, what I mean, you

626
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 4: still can, but you could stage it how you wanted

627
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 4: people to see it. So I just didn't post that

628
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 4: part of me. Family didn't know, you know, they, I

629
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 4: mean my mom would know that I would go out.

630
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: So there were still shame around it though, but yeah,

631
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: for sure, for sure fully yeah, yeh.

632
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: Double life.

633
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,719
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of moms do that. They

634
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: feel like they have to live these absolutely life like

635
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: I can't do this, I can't do that. And then

636
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: also living in that double life, then meeting people and

637
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: abusers that people will disrespect you and like make.

638
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 3: You feel bad.

639
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a.

640
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 1: Question like how did you because I think that's something

641
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: that like the world doesn't prepare you for, like the

642
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: way your body changes after pregnancy, and like it affects

643
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: everyone differently and like learning how to love your body again, Like.

644
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 4: Oh, it fucked me up.

645
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 3: How do you feel like you've come to this point where.

646
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 4: I didn't until.

647
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, she's so it's like confidence is sexy, you

648
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, and I think thankfully, I think,

649
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 1: you know, thanks to social media, there's a lot of shaming,

650
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: but there is an opportunity to to like empower yeah

651
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: and be like, okay, look, you know.

652
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: Well, I mean I think it took a while for me.

653
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 4: Not until I hit thirty was I like, I don't

654
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 4: give a like I cannot keep on living for everybody else.

655
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 4: And I realized my entire life, that's what I've done.

656
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 4: I don't even know who I am because I've changed

657
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 4: myself so much to be what everybody else wants me

658
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 4: to be. So that's when I started the Funny Mama,

659
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 4: and I'm like, y'all gonna see how much I curse

660
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 4: how much my kids get on my nerves. I love them,

661
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 4: but they get on my fucking nerves how much? Like

662
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 4: I just wanted to normalize because I had postpartum depression

663
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 4: after my second son, and it was because everything I

664
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 4: was seeing on social media when people were having their

665
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 4: kids and it was like they snapped back or they

666
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 4: had like you know, everything was fantastic and they just

667
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 4: were fine. I had to have a C section, and

668
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 4: I was like, fucking postpartum depression was fucking me up,

669
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 4: and I was like, I need to know that there's

670
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 4: other mothers out there that don't have their shit together.

671
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 4: And so that's when I started kindie kind of changing

672
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 4: and I say it all the time. My followers really

673
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 4: helped me get out of it. So then I felt like, Okay, well,

674
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just be honest about everything that has happened

675
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: to me as a mom and as a woman, because

676
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 4: I want to be able to open up the conversation

677
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 4: for things that nobody wants to talk about. So I

678
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 4: always like my Christmas pictures that I always post to

679
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 4: the kids. It's always like a terrible picture because it's

680
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 4: the truth. You know, you have to take of your

681
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 4: kids like forty pictures before you can get one, and

682
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 4: it's like, no, this is the reality of it. So

683
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 4: I also feel like the whole bathing suit thing, that

684
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,239
Speaker 4: was something that took me a long time cause I

685
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 4: hadn't worn a bathing suit since before since I was eighteen,

686
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 4: like a bikini and I was like, bitch, you do

687
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 4: not diet this much for you to not show off

688
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 4: your body like you don't. And if majority of the

689
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 4: other women here have stretch marks that they're not trying

690
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 4: to show, I wish they would judge me for having

691
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 4: mine out. So then I did, and it was it

692
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 4: was super super empowering. I did it for the first

693
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,719
Speaker 4: time when I just went to Mexico, like I don't know,

694
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 4: it was like a month ago or two months ago,

695
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 4: and and the first day I was like, everybody's looking

696
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 4: at me. Everybody's but nobody was looking at me. Nobody

697
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 4: was And then I was like, Okay, I'm gonna start

698
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 4: doing this more. And then I said, I'm only buying

699
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 4: crop tops this whole summer. Like it was like me

700
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: just being like I need to get outside of this

701
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 4: comfort zone. And it really is empowering because it's like

702
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 4: I'm finally this is my body. There's nothing I can

703
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 4: fucking do about it. The stretch marks are so high.

704
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 4: Even a tummy tuck wouldn't do shit. So you're gonna

705
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 4: fucking like it, or you know that's you fuck yourself.

706
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 4: I don't care you know like this is me, so yeah,

707
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 4: So I mean it's been a journey. Like I said,

708
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 4: I've been a mom for fourteen years. So now at

709
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 4: the fucking tail end, I'm like, you know what, let

710
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 4: me accept this shit.

711
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, it's such a journey. People don't give

712
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 2: that enough. Like your body changes, you're literally feeding another human.

713
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: If you feel foreign in your own body, it feels

714
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 2: like and like it's.

715
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 3: I feel alien. Like I've been like peeing on myself.

716
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 2: I peel myself.

717
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 4: I never went through that, but everyone talks about it.

718
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: I know it's just recent. Like I'm like here, i

719
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: am thinking I dodged it. I'm like, my child's six,

720
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: I'm my busy. Still I'm not peeing on myself. And

721
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: then like one day I was like in Target, I

722
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: was like, am I peeing? Like what the fuck is

723
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: going on?

724
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 2: Like I usually pee like at least this much before

725
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 2: I make it to the toilet, like my parents are

726
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: like at least this wet. I'm like, this is literally

727
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: there's nothing I can do.

728
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very common.

729
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: I've turned thirty three and then I'm like, what the

730
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 2: fuck is happening. It's I always have a very urgent

731
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,719
Speaker 2: for ladder, Like I pee outside all the time, but

732
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: to the point like I'll be right at the toilet

733
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: and it's just like a little.

734
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 3: Stream down my leg.

735
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm an old lady.

736
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 4: But people don't talk about it. No, this should be told.

737
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 4: It should be spoken.

738
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: About it like it is like it's a muscle, Like

739
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: just like skin is an organ. Everything is like everything

740
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: reacts differently, you know, and everyone's journey in their body

741
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: post pregnancy is different.

742
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 4: You know.

743
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 2: I love a giving head, but I literally hate this semen.

744
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 2: I hate swallowing.

745
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 3: It doesn't taste good.

746
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: That's why you guys know, we've talked about taste, and

747
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: the reviews are in. I've been getting hit up by

748
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: all of you guys that have gotten taste and taste changes.

749
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 1: Swallowing lives.

750
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: Taste is a game changer for sure. It makes me

751
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 2: feel so much better about swallowing the semen. After the

752
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: job is done, I feel like a real pro.

753
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: Also, it makes you taste better. It's packed with premium

754
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: natural ingredients. Taste is the organic vitamin that works with

755
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: your natural pH levels to improve the taste and smell

756
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: of bodily secretions for him and her. Not only that,

757
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: it's black owned, it's woman owned. Shout out to Brittany Nicole,

758
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 1: She's bombed, she's a mom, and.

759
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 3: The shit works. It really really works.

760
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: You know, me and Milo, we don't talk about brands

761
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,040
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762
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,200
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763
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,440
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764
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,400
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765
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,240
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766
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,520
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767
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:05,960
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768
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,880
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769
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,720
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770
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,520
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771
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772
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Speaker 1: You know, it's just I don't know, I feel like

773
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: there's a lot of shame around it, especially I think

774
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 1: there's more shame that we feel than really is maybe

775
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: even perceived, because.

776
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 3: Like you said, like walking outside, no one even was like.

777
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 4: But you know what, I think it's also like marketing

778
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 4: and shit, it is crazy to me how nobody really

779
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 4: targets moms because if you think about it, moms are

780
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 4: in control of everything. I'm buying stuff to clean, to cook,

781
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 4: the stuff for the kids. If you're married or you're

782
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 4: with somebody, this shit for him, you know, this stuff

783
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 4: for myself, all of these things. The mom is literally

784
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 4: at the center of it. But you choose to go

785
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 4: after younger kids who don't got no fucking money. It's like, yeah,

786
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 4: and it's like we fucking created life, Like that's a

787
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: pretty big deal. Like it's not like it's not an

788
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 4: easy thing to do, created the population.

789
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 2: I just had this conversation with our business partner. He

790
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 2: was like, but you couldn't do it without the nut,

791
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 2: You couldn't do it. What about you couldn't do shit

792
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,399
Speaker 2: without it?

793
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 4: I was like, Oh, it's literally the least you could do,

794
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 4: literally the least you can do exactly. And then what

795
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 4: and then what what do you do?

796
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 5: Then?

797
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's moms matter. The world needs to value moms

798
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: way more.

799
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 4: And it's no reason why we created life. And now

800
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 4: you feel, Lizzo, you can tell me what I should

801
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 4: or shouldn't do. I should be able to do whatever

802
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 4: the fuck I want to do, because I'm also now

803
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 4: raising these kids to be the best that they can

804
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 4: be so they're not murderers or rapists. While trying to

805
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,280
Speaker 4: get my ship together, while trying to provide, while trying

806
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 4: to be a good person. Go to therapy so that

807
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 4: I don't turn into a murderer myself, Like, hello, I'm

808
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 4: fucking stressed.

809
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 2: Therapy, free drinks like.

810
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 7: Yes Friday, every bar like this should be standard, but

811
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 7: we are treated like do you want society.

812
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 2: To be good?

813
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 3: Give mom's weed.

814
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 2: Treat moms better, give them. It should be free weed,

815
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 2: medical grade mom weed. Because you're raising children, don't kill them.

816
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 4: That's it's crazy to me. So I do think that

817
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 4: it is. We're just devalued. It's I hate it so much.

818
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 4: So I'm hoping to help to add to the value

819
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 4: of mother so people will not add, but to show

820
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 4: you know how much value we offer, because it's bullshit

821
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 4: that they just push us to a side.

822
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: Okay, speaking of mom's mattering and just fact that we

823
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: are the motherfucking salt of the earth and the population

824
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: would not exist. Hello, Hello, I just want to ask you,

825
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 1: you know, as a young mom and now you know

826
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: being a parent out for fourteen years, what is your

827
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: biggest lesson that you've learned like through all of it.

828
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 1: Like for me, like my question is like I always

829
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: like too, like I see parents that have multiple kids,

830
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: like they're professional parents, Like does it get better?

831
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 3: Is it easier? Do you figure the shit out? Or

832
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 3: is it a never ending.

833
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 2: Oh shit, it doesn't get easier.

834
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 4: It doesn't, you would think the closer to I'll always

835
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 4: joke and say the finish line, even though it kills

836
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: me to think, like, oh my god, my son is

837
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 4: really about to be out here. He's fourteen now. He

838
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 4: turns fifteen in November. He starts high school next year.

839
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 4: In four years, he's gonna be able to do well.

840
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 4: We have ween Mexican you never get to do whatever. Yeah,

841
00:36:52,920 --> 00:37:00,280
Speaker 4: my mom is messaying it really oh maybe well hoefully

842
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 4: we're not our sisters or I have to talk to

843
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 4: my dad. Oh shit, well no, it's off my mom's side.

844
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 4: I might have to talk about your mom Rodriguez. Okay, okay,

845
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 4: So I think the biggest lesson I think would be

846
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 4: to enjoy your time with your kids, which I love

847
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 4: my kids. I know I have to say it because

848
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 4: I really be feeling like I'm talking shit about them,

849
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 4: but I am always a mom. You know, like it's like, God,

850
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 4: to the moment I'm not with them, I feel so

851
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 4: terrible because it's like part of me is like you

852
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 4: have that mom anxiety, like are they okay? And nobody

853
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 4: can take care of them like I can? Are they

854
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 4: you know whatever? But then the other part of me

855
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 4: is like fuck. It's like when you take off a bra,

856
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 4: you're like, shit, God, I was so fucking tired. I

857
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 4: didn't even realize I was that tired. So I think

858
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 4: it's enjoying the time with them, even though they drive

859
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 4: you nuts. Because someone once told me, and it fucked

860
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 4: me up, you only have eighteen summers with your kids.

861
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 4: What doesn't that fuck you up?

862
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 2: Why would you say that?

863
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 4: It makes you feel so ever since they told me that.

864
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 4: They told me that when he was probably like ten

865
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 4: every summer, I'm like, holy oh, yeah, five more summers.

866
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 2: Nine summers and then maybe your kids.

867
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 4: Are yeah, and then so after this summer, I only

868
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 4: have three more summers, three more summers, and that's fucking

869
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 4: me up. I know. I'm sorry, but if I heard it,

870
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 4: you guys have to hear it too. It's just you

871
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 4: have to. But it did eight years. Yeah, but summers

872
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 4: summers so it did make me feel like at that

873
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 4: point because it was a lot of me being like,

874
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 4: I need a break from my kids, I was like, Okay,

875
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 4: you need to learn how to balance this in a

876
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 4: healthy way, because even though they get on your nerves,

877
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 4: you clearly love them so much. They're your whole world.

878
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 4: They're eighteen now, and I'm like, what the fuck did

879
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 4: I do? But then on the flip side, it's also

880
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 4: I lost myself to motherhood. For a very very long time,

881
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 4: all I knew was being their mom, and I so

882
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 4: much so that I never went through those twenties of

883
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 4: discovering who I was my whole Fuck. No, my mom

884
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 4: would never let me. I always had my own money,

885
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 4: I always had my little secret accounts, all that shit.

886
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,439
Speaker 4: But I do feel like I and there's nothing wrong

887
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 4: with being a stay at home mom. Let me say

888
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 4: that there's not, but for me, I just, you know,

889
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 4: I just feel like I have to have my own

890
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 4: But I lost myself to motherhood and I never discovered

891
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 4: who I was because for so long in my life

892
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 4: growing up, I don't know why. My whole goal was

893
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 4: to be married and have kids. That was and there's

894
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 4: nothing wrong with that, But I feel like, once you

895
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,439
Speaker 4: come to that decision after exploring every single thing else

896
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 4: about yourself to make sure that there's nothing else that

897
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 4: you really want to do, right, I didn't do that.

898
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,439
Speaker 4: I just was focused on getting married, having kids, getting married,

899
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 4: having kids. So then I got married the first time

900
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,399
Speaker 4: I had kids, and I was still like, no, that

901
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 4: that wasn't right. I gotta do it again, you know.

902
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 4: I went and got married and had another kid, and

903
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 4: then I had my bonus kid too, and I was like,

904
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 4: there's still why, cause it was like, Okay, you got it, Yeah,

905
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 4: what the fuck do I do now? And in that

906
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 4: did I start to realize, all right, well I need

907
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 4: to figure out what the fuck I want to do,

908
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 4: what I can do. But you know, my grandparents used

909
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,439
Speaker 4: to make us do all this crazy shit. My mom

910
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 4: used to like make us make costumes and shit, my

911
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 4: grandfather used to make us bullshit, my dad. Both of

912
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 4: my parents are like geniuses. Anything they want to do,

913
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 4: they could fucking do. Their most creative people in the world.

914
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 4: And I grew up not only watching them do these things,

915
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 4: but doing it with them. But never did I ever

916
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 4: think that I could do those things because I'm just

917
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 4: a mom. You know, like in my mind, society fucking

918
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 4: got to me. I'm like, I'm just a mom. So

919
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 4: I started like exploring all of these things and in

920
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 4: that not only discovered who I am, but it also

921
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 4: opened up my eyes to shit that was going on

922
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 4: in my marriage. It also made me realize you are

923
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,399
Speaker 4: a completely different person than you even thought you were,

924
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 4: and what you want and what you will accept from people.

925
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,879
Speaker 4: But it was scary as fuck because it also is like,

926
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 4: like you were saying, or you're so comfortable in something,

927
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 4: and this is who you are and this is what

928
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 4: I've been doing and it works. Am I happy? No?

929
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 4: But are my kids thriving? And I you know whatever?

930
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 4: And all of a sudden, I was just like, fuck it,

931
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 4: this isn't what I want. I mean, there was plenty

932
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 4: of reasons why I got a divorce, interusting, but it

933
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 4: was a thing of like, Okay, now I'm for the

934
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,280
Speaker 4: first time in a very long time, I'm so excited

935
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 4: about life. And I'm like, and it's about me, not

936
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 4: like because I'm having a baby or not because I'm

937
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 4: planning a wedding or anything. It's like, what the fuck

938
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 4: am I gonna do next? Like here I am finally

939
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 4: doing everything to explore me and I really fucking like

940
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 4: who I am and that shit it's great. It's scary,

941
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 4: but it's great.

942
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 2: What were some of the steps you took to find

943
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 2: that place? I think there's a lot of women who

944
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: are in that space. We're like, fuck, who the fuck

945
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 2: am I? What has happened?

946
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 3: Where have I?

947
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: You know? Like, cause I think that's a majority of women.

948
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: We just want to Like you're like, oh, I'm so

949
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: to have a baby and get married and like be

950
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: like be rich and be happy and clean the house.

951
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 2: I thought that for sure, that was like my definitely

952
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 2: my goal. But like, when you're in that position, what

953
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 2: were some of the things that were the tools that

954
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 2: you used to pull that out of you to say, wait,

955
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,720
Speaker 2: hold on? Are there events that happened? Was there something

956
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,439
Speaker 2: within you that said, like, first thing was not giving

957
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: a fuck anymore? At thirty, I literally was like turn

958
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: it off. Stop fucking caring what people think.

959
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 4: Even when I started the funny Mama and I hope

960
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 4: my mom's not watching this and thinks that I'm saying

961
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 4: this in this way. But my mom, when I would

962
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 4: be like cursing a lot, she wasn't used to. I

963
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 4: still don't curse in front of my parents. They just

964
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 4: were very strict like that. My two other sisters will.

965
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 4: But my mom, I said, damn in front of her,

966
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 4: she threw a fucking grapefruit at me. I was like, ma,

967
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: what the what it it slipped so for? But you know,

968
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 4: on my page, I'm like, if you follow me, this

969
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 4: is how I really talk. I curse a lot. That's

970
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 4: just what I do. And my parents curse a lot.

971
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 4: So it's like, what do you how ww what did

972
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 4: you expect was gonna happen? And she, you know her,

973
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 4: my sister, my little sister, My little sister is like

974
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 4: the free one. She like has never worn draws in

975
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 4: her life. And she's like, you know whatever, my older

976
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 4: sisters got her shit together everything, she got a calendar

977
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 4: for everything. But if she gets some drinks inner, she

978
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 4: turns into the free little sister too. And I'm just like,

979
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 4: you know, in the middle, just like I don't know,

980
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 4: everything has to kind of be. But then I have

981
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 4: my days. But I feel like they told me, like,

982
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 4: you're cursing a lot. If you want to turn this

983
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 4: into a thing, you say a lot of bad words

984
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 4: your family, you know, all the family follows you, and

985
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 4: I was just like, well, this is me. This isn't

986
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 4: for them, this is for me. I'm owning who I am.

987
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 4: You know, I'm saying whatever I talk on my page

988
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 4: like I do to my friends, because I feel like

989
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 4: that's that is my truest me. I'm one hundred percent

990
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 4: of myself with my friends, and I am tired of

991
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 4: people painting narratives of me and who I am and

992
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 4: what I do and you know whatever, And so I

993
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 4: just took controls for the first STUF is absolutely just

994
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 4: not caring and it's the hardest thing to do, but

995
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 4: once you do it, and once you really get into

996
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 4: it of like really not fucking caring what anybody thinks.

997
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 4: I mean, don't just put your kouchi out there on

998
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 4: you know, on your I mean, if you want to.

999
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 4: But it's like once you do it, it's so empowering

1000
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: and it's so like freeing, Like you just don't realize

1001
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 4: how much of your life you like based around everybody

1002
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 4: else's opinions. And then once you let that go, then

1003
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 4: you've given yourself the freedom to what do I like,

1004
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 4: what do I want to do? And it feels like

1005
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 4: when you're a teenager and you first get your license

1006
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 4: and like your car, and you're like, all right, now

1007
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,280
Speaker 4: where am I going to go? You're like so excited

1008
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 4: because you're not held down by what society tells you

1009
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 4: to do or what you think your family is gonna think.

1010
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 4: And now my family, you know, I went from the

1011
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 4: middle child that got on everybody's nurves to I think

1012
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say I'm the most impressive, but my

1013
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 4: personality is it's coming through. And I'm just kidding. My

1014
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 4: sisters are gonna be like a bit cut down. You're

1015
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 4: so annoying, But yeah.

1016
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 2: I mean that's amazing. What a testimony to designing your life.

1017
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: I think everybody there is so much pressure to consider

1018
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 2: everybody else's feelings and everybody else's perspective of you and

1019
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 2: what you're supposed to be doing, when in reality, you're

1020
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 2: supposed to be doing whatever the fuck you want, whatever

1021
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 2: the fuck makes you feel good, and anyone who makes

1022
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 2: you question that is not your people. And sometimes that

1023
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 2: requires that you cut off family for certain times for

1024
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 2: you to figure it out. And like, you're like a

1025
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 2: fucking renaissance woman. I'm like fucking building shit. She's cooking.

1026
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, well, wife, like you did, like

1027
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: like she really is a renaissance woman and.

1028
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 2: Her hair is perfectly trimmed and beautifully curled.

1029
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 3: Thank you, and like, yeah, I think too.

1030
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 1: On top of the pressure that like you already feel

1031
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: as a woman and then become a mother, everyone has

1032
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 1: opinions and then you know your children, then how you're

1033
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 1: raising your children and like just all the different facets

1034
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 1: of that. And I know, like your son he has autism,

1035
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: and I can imagine there's a lot of judgment too

1036
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: about what you should be doing as a mother or

1037
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 1: this how you should be caring for him, and like

1038
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: that's a whole other realm and space where you have

1039
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 1: to be assertive and be like no, so like what

1040
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: would you say as a mother? Like too, Like what

1041
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 1: are the biggest misconceptions about, you know, having a child

1042
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: with autism?

1043
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 4: Well, I think one, there's like it's very taboo. People

1044
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 4: moms are embarrassed. It is torture if you sit in

1045
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 4: the house and you're like hiding your kid. Because I remember,

1046
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 4: Ashton is very high functioning, but he still has things.

1047
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 4: There's something called stemming, where like if he gets really excited,

1048
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,359
Speaker 4: sticks his hands out and he kind of flaps them.

1049
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 4: But if you were just just see him, you wouldn't

1050
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 4: really know until you like start talking to him. He's

1051
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 4: four and a half and he still talks like he's two.

1052
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 4: But you know, once you see him with other kids,

1053
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 4: you can kind of see that something is off and

1054
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 4: if he's very excited. He also doesn't understand personal boundaries

1055
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 4: and things like that. But I remember in the beginning,

1056
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 4: so my first son was so easy. He's very independent.

1057
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,479
Speaker 4: He like it's like it's so smart, and he would

1058
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 4: always have very high on everything. So for me, I

1059
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 4: was like, oh, motherhood is a piece of fucking cake.

1060
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 4: And he was the first like grandchild, nephew, so everybody

1061
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,279
Speaker 4: was like, oh, let me babysit, let me watch. I

1062
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 4: was like, oh, this shit is easy, okay. But the

1063
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 4: second one humbled the shit out of me because at

1064
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 4: first I was like, God, I'm not patient. I don't

1065
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 4: That's why, Yeah, I was, And that's what I've learned now.

1066
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 4: It's like, I'm really very short tempered. I'm very like impatient.

1067
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 4: I'm always moving. Things have to fit on my schedule,

1068
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 4: my plan, or I will fucking lose it. And it's

1069
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 4: just you can't do that with the you know, a

1070
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 4: kid who has autism. And I literally had to not

1071
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 4: only change my whole life around, but change my mindset.

1072
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 4: And I realized that I'm telling people, you know, don't

1073
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 4: give a fuck about what people think, and blah blah blah.

1074
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 4: And I was doing that with myself, but with Ashton,

1075
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 4: I was still was like hiding it. And so when

1076
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 4: I found out I think it's one in every four

1077
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,439
Speaker 4: kids now it's diagnosed with autism, I'm like, so, why

1078
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 4: the fuck am I hiding this? Because there's clearly other

1079
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 4: moms hiding this too, And like I said, it can

1080
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 4: be you know, you can feel embarrassed and you know,

1081
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 4: and then like going to the playground is like a

1082
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 4: whole thing. When he goes with his brothers, they stay

1083
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 4: right with him because they are very protective. They don't

1084
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 4: want anybody. But if it's just me and him, I'm like,

1085
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 4: oh god. One time, this little girls were like in

1086
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 4: this little area and he starts walking up to him

1087
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 4: and they're like boys only, and he went and sat down,

1088
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 4: like what So he's like, they're like playing, so they're

1089
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,760
Speaker 4: running from him, and he thinks that they're just running

1090
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 4: and he's like laughing and I'm watching, like, oh God,

1091
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 4: do I jump in because you also don't want to

1092
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 4: be a helicopter mom. I'm not gonna be there for

1093
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 4: him forever. I don't want to kids no matter what

1094
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 4: is going on, You can't hold their hand for their

1095
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 4: entire lives. So this is what I believe, you know,

1096
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 4: is that you have to kind of let them go

1097
00:48:56,680 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 4: out and experience the world because this is you know,

1098
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 4: that that's the world. And I feel like if people

1099
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 4: would start talking more about their kids with autism or putting,

1100
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 4: you know, showing it so that you can normalize it,

1101
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 4: so that other parents can see and learn to be

1102
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,840
Speaker 4: more sympathetic about it, m be more accepting. I feel

1103
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 4: like just generally you should talk to your kids about

1104
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 4: children with disabilities. And it has definitely even with me,

1105
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 4: you know, it's made me think about kids I was

1106
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 4: in school with growing up that I'm like, oh, they

1107
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 4: were probably autistic and people would call them like the

1108
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 4: weird kid, or you know, it would be the one

1109
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 4: person or the booger boy or booger girl or whatever,

1110
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 4: and it's like fuck, damn, you feel really fucked up,

1111
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 4: or like how and it's like, no, they probably couldn't

1112
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 4: even control it. But what I would say to any

1113
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 4: moms that do have children on the spectrum or in general,

1114
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 4: And I've never been a person who was like into

1115
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 4: like taking vitamins and supplements and this and that and

1116
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: looking at what you eat or whatever. Cause I mean,

1117
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 4: my oldest to the they get Dorito's and fucking any

1118
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 4: fucking thing. It doesn't need to be organic. It doesn't

1119
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 4: need to be this and that. Then I had this

1120
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 4: one after doing my own research, which you have to

1121
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 4: do because unfortunately, pediatricians will just put your kid in

1122
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 4: a box. It wasn't until I got involved and started

1123
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 4: doing research and figuring out you have to try shit

1124
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 4: that the pediatricians sometimes will tell you not to do.

1125
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm gonna do it. I feel like

1126
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 4: this is you know, as far as like supplements and vitamins.

1127
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 4: And within that year with COVID, I took him from

1128
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 4: being nonverbal to he could then recognize like set or

1129
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 4: in say seventy two different animal names and recognize everybody

1130
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 4: to point people out. And now I mean he's talking

1131
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 4: like shit, you know, and it's like these are things

1132
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 4: that the doctor said he wasn't as high on the spectrum,

1133
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 4: you know, or high functioning. All of these things. Now

1134
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:54,800
Speaker 4: every time they see them, they're like, what are you doing?

1135
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 4: And then I go and say, well, that changed his

1136
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 4: diet or added supplements, and they're like, well, no, it's

1137
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 4: not that been studies this show. I wouldn't know. I'm

1138
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 4: a doctor. I'm like, okay, I respect what you're saying,

1139
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 4: but I'm a mother. I'm a mother, okay, and I've

1140
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 4: been doing this and I've been seeing so much growth

1141
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 4: and you know whatever, So you didn't go fuck yourself,

1142
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 4: but whatever. I'm only here so that you know he's okay.

1143
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 4: Everything else is okay. But autism, I know, I got

1144
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 4: that in the bag. But it's fucking hard.

1145
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: It really is what kind of supplements or what kind

1146
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 1: of research did you find when you really.

1147
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,760
Speaker 4: Like, so your body naturally, like your liver and stuff

1148
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 4: flushes out toxins and metals. That's what it's there for.

1149
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,879
Speaker 4: And some people theirs does not work that well. Their

1150
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 4: body doesn't really flesh out metals and toxins. So I

1151
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 4: heard about this from another mom whose son had autism,

1152
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 4: and she was saying she got him tested for metals

1153
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,240
Speaker 4: and then there's this whole thing called like klation where

1154
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 4: you give them like this. It was like this crazy thing.

1155
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 4: It wasn't crazy because it worked for her, but for

1156
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 4: me it just didn't work. And it was like every

1157
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 4: other weekend for four days, every three hours, even in

1158
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 4: the middle of the night. You give them this supplement.

1159
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 4: This starts to like take out the metals. So Ashton

1160
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 4: took his test and his metals were very high in

1161
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 4: aluminum and mercury. And I was like, there's got to

1162
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 4: be a better fucking way. I'm not gonna be able

1163
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 4: to wake up every three hours. It's gonna fucking my nerves.

1164
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be a bitch because I'm not gonna have

1165
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,760
Speaker 4: no sleep. Like, no, that's not gonna work. And so

1166
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 4: someone of my followers, which that's the part of being

1167
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 4: vulnerable that's beneficial. I was talking about how ash and

1168
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 4: had autism. I was trying to find stuff and they

1169
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:29,359
Speaker 4: recommended these drops. I think it's called bio ray, and

1170
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 4: I just put it in his juice and they have

1171
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 4: all different ones, like for like calm focus. Think it's

1172
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,720
Speaker 4: like belly which is like probiotics and all this stuff.

1173
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 4: So on top of the other supplements I was giving him, Like,

1174
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 4: I didn't know that magnesium helps to commute. I didn't

1175
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 4: fucking know that. I knew you need to take it,

1176
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 4: but I didn't know why. So if he's acting like

1177
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 4: a complete crackhead for the next couple of days, I'm

1178
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 4: gonna up how much magnesium I give him, and it

1179
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 4: helps to kind of bring him down. Also, if he

1180
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 4: gets gluten and I have him on a glue free diet,

1181
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 4: I know because he's acting like a crackhead, So then

1182
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 4: I give him more probiotics to kind of get that

1183
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 4: out of his system. And I think taking charge of

1184
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 4: that aspect of it has changed so much, not only

1185
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 4: in him, but in myself, because now I'm looking at

1186
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 4: the shit that I'm put in my body too. I'm like, Okay,

1187
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 4: I really need to be more particular, because if a

1188
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:26,240
Speaker 4: diet can really regulate his behavior as a child, maybe

1189
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:29,240
Speaker 4: that's why I'm bitchy sometimes, or maybe I'm just naturally bitchy.

1190
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 4: I don't know. But we will put it to the

1191
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 4: test and see what happened to check our diet.

1192
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 3: Oh my god, should we read an advice question?

1193
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 2: Oh? Yes, we shall. We have an advice question. You

1194
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 2: know I forgot we even had this number, but apparently

1195
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:47,439
Speaker 2: she didn't. Anyway, we do have an advice question. Can

1196
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 2: you play that?

1197
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 1: Hi?

1198
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 5: I was wanting to get some advice possibly. I am

1199
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 5: twenty three years old and I have a two year old.

1200
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 5: We are just recently did from her dad, and I

1201
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 5: am re entering the dating world. However, I feel like

1202
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 5: I have this giant scarlet letter on me because when

1203
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 5: I found out I was pregnant, I was also diagnosed

1204
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:18,399
Speaker 5: with her fees. And you know, the only person I've

1205
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 5: ever had to tell is my baby daddy. And now

1206
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:26,280
Speaker 5: I feel super weird, like re entering the dating scene

1207
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 5: as a single mom and I have this pretty big

1208
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 5: thing that you know. Obviously I treat it and I

1209
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 5: don't experience any symptoms with them as a system that

1210
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 5: I'm on, but it's still something that needs to be disclosed,

1211
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 5: and I don't know how exactly to do that. I

1212
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 5: think I'm just really nervous for any rejection that I

1213
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 5: might get, and so I was hoping I could get

1214
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 5: some guidance from some good moms that have also made

1215
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 5: bad choices. Please who feel my voice? Thank you?

1216
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you know, there's so much shame

1217
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 1: around sexually transmitted diseases, and they are so common and

1218
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: you'd be surprised how many people you've probably slept with

1219
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: with a sexually transmitted disease and whether or not maybe

1220
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,439
Speaker 1: you didn't get it, you know what I mean.

1221
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 3: But it's especially herpes. I feel like, isn't herpes like normal?

1222
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 4: Now? Did you know that if you go get an

1223
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 4: SCD test, if you don't specifically say herpes, they don't

1224
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 4: test you for that.

1225
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 2: No, And also because it's very common that Okay, from

1226
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: my understanding, it's very common that if you get a

1227
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,879
Speaker 2: blood test, it may show up in your blood even

1228
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 2: if you've never had any indication that you have herpes.

1229
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 2: It's just dormant, like in your blood. Just because you

1230
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 2: haven't had an outbreak doesn't mean necessarily that it's not

1231
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 2: laying like. And if you would only know that if

1232
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 2: you've got a blood test, which most doctors won't just do. Now,

1233
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 2: unless you go get a SD test and you have

1234
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 2: an act of outbreak and they can like.

1235
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 4: Visually see it and it would still say.

1236
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 2: No, then then they'll test you.

1237
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: I think some of these things there is it's a

1238
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: hard conversation, like it's not something that like, I don't

1239
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 1: think anybody is excited to have to share. I mean,

1240
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: having sex with someone for the first time is already

1241
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,319
Speaker 1: like you know, can be complicated enough then to have

1242
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,319
Speaker 1: to you know, disclose something like that. But I think

1243
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: that there has to be a normalizing of it because

1244
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 1: also specifically herpes, like I believe most herpes are only

1245
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: you can only get them if you are having an outbreak.

1246
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that to be true. Also, general to

1247
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 2: herpes is common in the US. More than one out

1248
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 2: of every six people aged fourteen to forty nine have

1249
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 2: general toal herpes well.

1250
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 4: And she said she wanted to know from good moms

1251
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 4: that made it back or did the way she said it,

1252
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,839
Speaker 4: it sounded like she thought it was a bad choice. Yea,

1253
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 4: And nothing that she did was Yeah, so it was

1254
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,399
Speaker 4: It's not like.

1255
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 2: You didn't make a bad choice. You had sex, which

1256
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 2: everybody has sex, and sometimes like you could wear a

1257
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 2: condom and probably still contract general to herpies because it's

1258
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 2: just like just the touching of skin. This happened to me.

1259
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 2: This happened to me. I was back in my lesbian life.

1260
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 2: I had a girlfriend and we had been dating for

1261
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 2: like I want to say, like three months. And she

1262
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 2: we were in the bed one night and she reached

1263
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 2: over and she was like shaking. I was like, she's like,

1264
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 2: I have to tell you something. I'm like what, And

1265
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 2: she was like she told me that she had herpes

1266
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 2: and that she didn't tell me she was afraid to

1267
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 2: tell me. And she she knows where she got it

1268
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 2: from her ex girlfriend. She takes medicine. She doesn't really

1269
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 2: have to, like she doesn't like she it only is

1270
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: a thing if she was having a breakout, she explained

1271
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 2: to me. And I feel like she was like in

1272
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: the other day, I was I was mussive, been in

1273
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 2: the shower, like washing my hair, and I was like

1274
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 2: if I had STD, I would kill myself or something

1275
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 2: like I said the word crazy and I was like,

1276
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,440
Speaker 2: oh no, I feel she's like I just left her,

1277
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 2: went to the store, but I had to tell you,

1278
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: and like I wasn't pissed. I didn't work up with her,

1279
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 2: like I didn't contract herpes and everything was fine, you know.

1280
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 2: And at the time I had a friend who also

1281
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 2: had herpes, like that I knew about, but like there

1282
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 2: is a huge stigma about it. But one of my

1283
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 2: friends told me her doctor is so valid. One of

1284
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 2: my friends told me that her doctor told her that,

1285
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 2: I like, in twenty twenty five, like one out of

1286
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 2: two people will have herpes or some shit.

1287
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 3: Don't let that stop you from dating.

1288
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: First of all, first and foremost, get your ass out

1289
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: there asap.

1290
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: For everybody listening, we are not, by any means doctors.

1291
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 2: We have no medical profession.

1292
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 3: Zero none.

1293
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 4: Also, please talk to your medical professional. Please please consult

1294
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 4: with your doctor before listening to any of this advice.

1295
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much for coming on this, thanks

1296
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 3: for having me. Can you tell our people where they

1297
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 3: can find you.

1298
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 4: I'm on Instagram at the Funny Mama m O m

1299
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 4: m A and the Funnymama dot com. And I also

1300
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 4: have a cookbook, Sarah whip Drizzle. Yeah, Sir, whip Drizzle

1301
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:55,439
Speaker 4: Collections of recipes that moms will love, easy because it's

1302
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 4: very easy.

1303
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 2: You Erica loves a fucking rec I do.

1304
00:58:58,560 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 3: This is all you do.

1305
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 2: The only bitch I know that's still I mean maybe yeah,

1306
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,919
Speaker 2: she's still online like measuring it perfectly. I'm like, bitch,

1307
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 2: if you don't, just because I'm trying to try new shit.

1308
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 3: They mastered, they mastered this shit. I'm gonna try it.

1309
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 4: My whole goal is to make everything. Everything in life

1310
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 4: can be easy. You just have to figure out how

1311
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 4: to make it easy. That's truly what I believe. I'm

1312
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 4: very lazy. I'm a middle child, so that's also why.

1313
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 4: But it has worked for me. I'm gonna be thirty

1314
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 4: four in September and I'm still you know, alive taking

1315
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 4: all these shortcuts, and the same thing with cooking. You

1316
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 4: don't have to be super fancy to do all this

1317
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 4: shit and your kids will love the food and you'll

1318
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:32,959
Speaker 4: thank me later.

1319
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, we needed, I did I need.

1320
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: I need to get that link asap or I'm gonna

1321
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 1: needs to get that book.

1322
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 3: You guys know where to find us.

1323
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 1: I had Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram, and

1324
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: make sure you go rate and review.

1325
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 3: Us on Apple Podcasts please.

1326
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 1: Oh and if you want to watch this episode or

1327
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 1: any of our episodes like me and Jamila domming a

1328
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 1: sub in New York City or I don't know, We've

1329
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 1: done a lot of visual episodes that should be seen,

1330
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: a lot.

1331
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: Of sex positions. We need to update our sex positions.

1332
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 3: You're right, do you have any to contribute my love.

1333
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 3: Oh I do okay, I can't wait.

1334
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow us at Patreon. That's patreon dot com.

1335
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 1: Backslash good Mom's Bad Choices and you have to actually

1336
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: put that in the.

1337
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 3: R L because apparently moms are explicit.

1338
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 2: Don't forget to write interview this episode.

1339
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 3: And follow Patrice and we'll see you guys next week.

1340
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 3: Bye bye, Hello Solo Recorder Lala

1341
01:00:26,120 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 2: The Latter Day Yes, Ran, yeah y