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Speaker 1: Calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Christophane Hazel, and this is the keeping Positive, Sweetish show.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to keep it Posita, sweety, the place where we heal,

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Speaker 1: grow and learn together. Today's guest is someone people may

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Speaker 1: know through leadership, politics, and public service, but in this

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Speaker 1: conversation we meet the woman beneath it all. Through her

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Speaker 1: memoir The rop Side of the Mountain, she opens up

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Speaker 1: about family, shame, childhood, trauma, faith, motherhood, and parts of

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Speaker 1: herself she once felt she had to smooth over in

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Speaker 1: order to succeed. This isn't just a conversation about leadership.

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Speaker 1: It's a conversation about humanity, healing, and what it means

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Speaker 1: to finally show up as your whole self. I'm honored

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Speaker 1: to be sitting with Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms. Before she

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Speaker 1: became Mayor of Atlanta, a national political voice, or a

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Speaker 1: leader through some of the country's most difficult moments, Keisha

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Speaker 1: Lance Bottoms was a little girl from Atlanta navigating family

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Speaker 1: seat It's a faith, grief and the pressure of becoming

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Speaker 1: strong too early, And in her book The Rough Side

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Speaker 1: of the Mountain, she tells that story with honesty, vulnerability

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Speaker 1: and grace, from childhood trauma to marriage, motherhood, leadership, and

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Speaker 1: reclaiming the parts of herself she once thought she had

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Speaker 1: to leave behind. This memoir is deeply personal and profoundly human.

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Speaker 1: Sweet please give a very warm welcome to Mayor Keisha

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Speaker 1: Lance Bottoms.

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Speaker 2: Thanks, no, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here today. I was so excited

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Speaker 1: when they said, would you be interested in interviewing Marrakish

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Speaker 1: Lance Spotoms, I'm like, what, First of all you calling me?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Now, I am so honored because you know, I'm such

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Speaker 3: a fan the same not just of your work, but

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Speaker 3: you are just an incredible person. Thank you, and for

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Speaker 3: as beautiful as you are on the outside, it's your

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Speaker 3: inner beauty that shines most of all.

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Speaker 2: So I'm glad to be here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I know you are busy, busy, busy,

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Speaker 1: so the fact that she made time for us, we

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Speaker 1: really appreciate it. So excited. We're gonna get into your

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Speaker 1: new book, The Rough Side of the Mountain, but I

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Speaker 1: want to first open up with a quick game called

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Speaker 1: front Porch Stories. We're taking it back to little Keisha,

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Speaker 1: So I want you to think about the first memory

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Speaker 1: lesson of story that comes to mind when I give

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Speaker 1: a phrase. Okay, the first one is, what's the same

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Speaker 1: from your childhood that still lives in your.

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Speaker 3: Head, that still lives in my head?

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Speaker 2: You only have to tell the truth once.

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Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah, that's really good. What's a smell that

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Speaker 1: instantly takes you back home?

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Speaker 2: Smells of baking cakes?

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Speaker 1: We talked about cake today.

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Speaker 2: And fried chicken chicken fry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, your mom owned her own salon. What was your

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Speaker 1: favorite style for her to do on your hair?

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Speaker 2: Ooh?

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Speaker 3: I used to rock an asymmetrically and it was stacked

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Speaker 3: on one side.

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Speaker 2: So and I see those picture is now online. I'm like, wait, are.

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Speaker 1: We back, honey? Yeah? Everything. I feel like everything repeats itself,

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Speaker 1: right right? Yeah? So for sure. The next one is

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Speaker 1: what is something your family did growing up that you

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Speaker 1: thought was normal until you got older.

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Speaker 3: Definitely traveling with my dad around the world. My dad

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Speaker 3: was an entertainer and wherever he went, we want.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Who taught you the most about faith without preaching to you?

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Speaker 2: My grandmother for sure. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Strength used to mean this, but now

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Speaker 1: it means blank.

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Speaker 3: Oh. I'm so grateful to have learned the difference between

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Speaker 3: being powerful and being strong. So strength used to mean

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Speaker 3: being strong. I now know it means being powerful.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Thanks for playing along.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love that. So You've written this book and it

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Speaker 1: really feels like a collection of lessons, memories and pieces

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Speaker 1: that really shaped who you are today. With writing this book,

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you, was this more about telling

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Speaker 1: a story or about meeting Keisha again?

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Speaker 2: It was both.

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Speaker 3: When I started this book, I left being Mayor of Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't thinking about running for office again. So it

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Speaker 3: really is the purest form of the story that I

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Speaker 3: could have told, because I didn't do it in the

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Speaker 3: lens of some political opinions about.

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Speaker 2: How it was written.

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Speaker 3: It is very different than I initially envisioned it. I

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Speaker 3: was going to write these series of essays called lessons

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Speaker 3: my Mama told me, Things my Mama said, or something

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Speaker 3: like that. And as I began to get put pen

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Speaker 3: to paper, my teen essentially say, you have an incredible

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Speaker 3: story and you should tell it. And it was a

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Speaker 3: love letter to my family, to my community, and I'm

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Speaker 3: just I'm so proud of it. And when I finished it,

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Speaker 3: I said, if nobody else reads this, but my family

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Speaker 3: makes them proud.

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Speaker 2: That will be enough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I'm you made a lot of people proud,

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Speaker 1: so yes, we're all proud of you. You open up

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Speaker 1: with the gospel song rough Side of the Mountain. I

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Speaker 1: remember hearing that song when I was a kid, and

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Speaker 1: you connected to the idea that the rough side gives

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Speaker 1: you something to hold on.

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Speaker 2: That's all right.

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Speaker 1: I want to know when you look back, what did

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Speaker 1: the rough side teach you that the smooth side could

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Speaker 1: have never taught you.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, So so when you asked a question about

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Speaker 3: smells and things, that's all from my grandmother's kitchen. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and she used to have this radio in her kitchen

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Speaker 3: or either on TV. We see the commercial of the

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Speaker 3: rough Side of the Mountain, and that tunea is always

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Speaker 3: in our heads.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't have an appreciation for it.

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Speaker 3: But I opened the book by talking about coming home

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Speaker 3: from school and seeing my dad being led away in handcuffs,

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Speaker 3: and this extraordinary life where we traveled the world in

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Speaker 3: an instant, was taken away. And my grandmother used to

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Speaker 3: always say, all things work for the good of those

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Speaker 3: who love the Lord. And I didn't see it then

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Speaker 3: that these challenges is replacing ballet lessons with visiting my

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Speaker 3: dad in prison, watching my mom struggle as a single mother,

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Speaker 3: having this life of luxury removed literally in an instant,

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Speaker 3: I didn't realize how resilient and how strong.

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Speaker 2: It was making me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, as a kid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so much of who I am today is

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Speaker 3: because of that. Not that I would wish that on

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Speaker 3: our family at all, but I know it's given me compassion.

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Speaker 3: I know it's given me courage, and it's given me

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Speaker 3: an ability to see things from a different lens than

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Speaker 3: a lot of other people do because I've lived it.

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Speaker 1: Literally. Yeah, and I do believe that the levels that

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Speaker 1: you have climbed. I believe that that empathy has allowed

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Speaker 1: you to see from a lens that a lot of

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Speaker 1: people in your position would never see from because they

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Speaker 1: haven't experienced that. So that is that's incredible.

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Speaker 3: I know what a prison smells like, I know what

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Speaker 3: it looks like. I know what it's like to have

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Speaker 3: to take that bucket of water home from the hair

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Speaker 3: salon to flesh to toilet because the waters off, you know.

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Speaker 3: And these are things that so many people experience on

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Speaker 3: a daily basis, but for so many of us, they

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Speaker 3: see us as we are and not who we have been.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and they don't.

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Speaker 1: Still stay with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, that's right.

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Speaker 1: I love that was there a time where you tried

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Speaker 1: to detour the mountain and not take the hard route

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Speaker 1: every chance I got.

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Speaker 2: And for me, I was always a hard worker.

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Speaker 3: I always wanted to do my best because I didn't

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Speaker 3: want to have to struggle the way that I saw

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Speaker 3: my parents have to struggle. But it also meant wearing

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Speaker 3: that mask that Paul Lawrence dumb talks about.

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Speaker 2: We wear the mask that grans and lies.

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Speaker 3: So I wanted people to think, oh, no, I woke

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Speaker 3: up just like this, this is how I've always been,

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Speaker 3: And no, you know, I don't understand all of that.

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Speaker 3: I've never been there. But you realize at some point

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Speaker 3: one wearing that mask is exhausting because it takes a

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Speaker 3: lot of energy to put on airs. And then I'm

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Speaker 3: very grateful to have come to the full circle realization

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Speaker 3: that everything I am is because of everybody who I

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Speaker 3: came from and everything that they went through.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so it makes me proud.

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Speaker 3: Right, And even though my grandparents aren't here, my dad

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Speaker 3: is not here, you know, I just hope that they

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Speaker 3: are smiling down and they are proud to my mom.

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Speaker 3: I was with my mom yesterday and she's like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm on the part of your book where such and

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Speaker 3: such happens. I'm like, how many times have you read

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Speaker 3: the book? And this is probably her knife time reading

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Speaker 3: that and she says each time she sees something different

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Speaker 3: and she still cries.

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Speaker 1: When she reads it. Wow, your mom. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I just love her. She is the best. I met

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Speaker 1: her at an event think was last year, and she's

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Speaker 1: so sweet.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: She is a rock star. You talked about your father

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Speaker 1: being arrested. You were eight years old. Yep, this was

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Speaker 1: a moment everything shifted. Yes, I want to know at

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Speaker 1: that age, how are you dealing with that emotionally?

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 3: First of all, my dad was an extraordinary human being

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Speaker 3: who was a wonderful man who loved his family deeply.

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Speaker 3: My dad struggled with addiction. I later learned. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know it at that time, and my mom even told me.

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Speaker 3: He said to her once, when they were at the

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Speaker 3: height of their entertainment status, they would give them something

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Speaker 3: to stay up at night, and they would give them

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Speaker 3: something to sleep at night and give them something.

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Speaker 2: To wake up in the morning WHOA.

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Speaker 3: So, you know, and for too many entertainers that that's

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Speaker 3: a story, especially of that generation.

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Speaker 1: We've seen it. I mean we didn't live it, but

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Speaker 1: we saw it in movies. I'm like, wow, that was

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Speaker 1: very common.

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Speaker 3: And so, you know, So I write about his incarceration,

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Speaker 3: his selling drugs when his career began to wane, and

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Speaker 3: not knowing how else to make ends meet in his

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Speaker 3: struggles with addiction, and you know, for so many people,

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Speaker 3: I say in the book, a sentence for him was

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Speaker 3: a sentence for us to write, because everything changed for

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Speaker 3: us in that moment. And it's you know, it's life

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Speaker 3: altering in so many ways. My parents divorced while my

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Speaker 3: dad was in prison. But also this lesson that sometimes

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Speaker 3: really good people make bad mistakes, and it's not because

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Speaker 3: they don't love you. It's just because in that moment

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Speaker 3: they just can't find the power to do any better. Yes,

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Speaker 3: And so there were so many lessons for me in

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Speaker 3: that learning to forgive my dad, learning to give him grace.

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Speaker 1: Learning did you learn that because as a child, were

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Speaker 1: you harboring certain feeling him.

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Speaker 3: My gosh, I internalize so much writing in the book

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Speaker 3: about experiencing my eating disorders what I now know is

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Speaker 3: called depression and anxiety and feeling like you had to

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Speaker 3: walk out the house every day with that mask on.

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Speaker 3: Because I grew up in the household where it was

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Speaker 3: what goes on in this house stays in this I think.

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Speaker 1: That's every black household. That's the same way.

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Speaker 3: You better not go out telling our business, and you

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Speaker 3: better walk out that door looking like everything is okay.

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Speaker 1: It's stifling and it's debilitating.

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Speaker 3: Yea. And at eight years old especially, yeah, that you

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Speaker 3: have to walk out the house and look like everything's

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Speaker 3: okay when really everything is falling apart.

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Speaker 1: Right. We talk about when children experienced chalma very early on.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that that was the beginning of becoming

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Speaker 1: the strong one in your family that you still are

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Speaker 1: today in.

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Speaker 2: A healthy and unhealthy way?

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Speaker 3: Because I never wanted to be the problem, which meant

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Speaker 3: I didn't always share my problems, didn't share my feelings,

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Speaker 3: but also feeling like I had to be responsible for everybody,

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Speaker 3: and that's a heavy burden for a child.

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Speaker 2: And it's not that anybody put it on me.

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Speaker 3: I put it on myself, and it began to manifest

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Speaker 3: itself in my life. I write about my fibroids and

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Speaker 3: having these fibroids that were described as my uterus being

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Speaker 3: the size of a four to six month pregnancy, these

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Speaker 3: debilitating fibroids that had a lot to do with my

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Speaker 3: inability to carry a child. And you know, fibroids are

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Speaker 3: often associated with Black women. Yes, they are described as

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Speaker 3: bundles of stress.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy that we're the ones that you mainly

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Speaker 1: see it in?

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Speaker 3: That's right, because it's believed that that we're carrying all

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Speaker 3: that stress in this one place. So I unpacked a

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Speaker 3: whole lot in this book, write about my fertility journey. Yes,

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Speaker 3: the probably more than a dozen surgeries, I say, probably

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Speaker 3: because I lost Count Jesus at some point, ultimately having

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Speaker 3: a partial hysterectomy, making the decision to adopt children, and

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Speaker 3: just the unhealthy ways in which I internalize stress.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, No, it's really tough. One thing this book

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Speaker 1: does you. Honestly, we talk about what happens in the

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Speaker 1: house you hold onto, the secrets and the misplaced shame.

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Speaker 1: I want to know, at what point did you realize

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Speaker 1: that you were carrying shame that was never meant for

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Speaker 1: you to carry.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't know that there was a single

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Speaker 3: moment that I realized that it just became too.

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Speaker 2: Heavy to carry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And for me, it was speaking that allowed, which

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Speaker 3: was not until I ran for mayor of Atlanta. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and realizing that so many people had a misconception of me,

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Speaker 3: And a lot of that was about hiding, hiding who

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Speaker 3: I was, yes.

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Speaker 1: And meaning.

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Speaker 3: You know people saying, oh you're aloof well that's often.

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Speaker 2: Just a guard.

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Speaker 3: That's a guard for insecurity, right, feeling like you got

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Speaker 3: to walk in the room and oh.

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Speaker 2: Let me let them not really see who I am

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Speaker 2: and what I am because they may not like me.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And once I began to tell my story publicly, I

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Speaker 3: was stunned how much.

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Speaker 2: Relief I felt. Yeah, it's like just shedding pounds of

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Speaker 2: weight and baggage.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure and that you also probably found people that, like, man,

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Speaker 1: I thought I was alone in this. I'm going through

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Speaker 1: the same thing, let me tell you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I never knew so many people's hears had struggled with addiction,

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Speaker 3: struggle financially, had gone to prison. So many people would

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Speaker 3: come to me and share their stories. First time I

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Speaker 3: ever publicly talked about second time I was at an

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Speaker 3: elementary school and a parent came to me and she

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Speaker 3: told me her daughter's father had just gone to prison,

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Speaker 3: and this little girl was like the star student of

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Speaker 3: the class, and she just had tears in her eyes.

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Speaker 3: She said, you don't know how much it meant for

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Speaker 3: her to hear you say that.

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Speaker 2: And the little girl just came and she just wrapped

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Speaker 2: her arms around me and say it work.

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Speaker 1: She she didn't have to, Yeah, she didn't. That's what

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Speaker 1: this platform is about. It's about sharing stories so that

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Speaker 1: people can feel seen, because a lot of times people

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Speaker 1: don't have the voice or feel like they have a

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Speaker 1: right to speak up about how they're feeling. Yeah, these

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Speaker 1: conversations help people feel seen. So I love that you

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Speaker 1: are opening up sharing your truth because there are so

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Speaker 1: many little girls that will hear your assortment, like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I thought it was just me, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I love that we're able to open up about this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I have write about the neighbor who used

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Speaker 3: to inappropriately touch me. Yeah, and again not wanting to

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Speaker 3: be the problem, never telling anybody, And how many children

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Speaker 3: are afraid to speak up, right, and they carry that

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Speaker 3: shame they do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so many you open up about you talked about

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Speaker 1: anorexia and struggling with bolimia. People look at you and

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Speaker 1: you're like, she's this successful woman, she's confident, she's got

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Speaker 1: everything going for herself. What's the danger in becoming so

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Speaker 1: good at high that nobody can even recognize when you're hurting?

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Speaker 2: Oh, so many dangers there.

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Speaker 3: Because you are, you feel as if you're the only

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Speaker 3: one and you're struggling alone. And I'm right about telling,

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Speaker 3: in separate occasions, my mom and who's now my husband

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Speaker 3: and my boyfriend about that I'd never told anybody, and

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Speaker 3: they were both like, well, that's stupid, you do what now,

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Speaker 3: and then just shutting up about it and not speaking

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Speaker 3: about it again. And I laugh about it because they

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Speaker 3: love me more than anybody on the planet. But for

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Speaker 3: black families, this concept of somebody struggling with an eating

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Speaker 3: disorder and eating disorder is about so much more than weight.

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Speaker 2: It's about control.

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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 3: Those things you can control and those things you can't control.

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Speaker 3: Body image is a part of it, but for me,

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Speaker 3: that was the thing I could control control.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, how old were you when you started

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Speaker 1: struggling with this.

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Speaker 3: I was probably twelve or thirteen and it went on

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Speaker 3: on and off, probably through my sophomore year of college.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, I've had friends. I never struggle with that

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Speaker 1: because I just like to eat all the time. But

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Speaker 1: I never turned down the plate. But I had friends

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Speaker 1: who did struggle with that. And I couldn't like your

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Speaker 1: mom and your husband at her boyfriend. At the time,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't wrap my mom, like why would you do that?

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Speaker 1: But now that you break it down, and for anybody

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Speaker 1: else who's dealing with this, now this is a better

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Speaker 1: way to put some language behind it and understand these

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Speaker 1: maybe the reasons why you're doing this, so you can

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Speaker 1: actually get ahead of it. Because I couldn't understand that age,

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Speaker 1: like why would you do that?

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Speaker 3: And even connecting that, having my therapist helped me connect

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Speaker 3: it to the neighbor who used to enter touched me

356
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Speaker 3: and my shame of my body because that was very curvy,

357
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Speaker 3: very young, and I had never connected those dots and

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Speaker 3: I never thought that. I thought I had moved on

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Speaker 3: from that too, But we realized when we don't resolve issues,

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Speaker 3: when we just keep packing them away. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's like packing a refrigerator with some food. At some

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Speaker 3: point it's going to start to stink and spoil.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's a good analogy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's what happens when when you pack your

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Speaker 3: issues away and you don't deal with them, at some

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Speaker 3: point they start to rot.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Do you think that high achieving women have become

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Speaker 1: experts at performing strength because that's what they feel like

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Speaker 1: everyone expects of them.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you about my therapist, and I've been

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Speaker 3: quoting her so much publicly, i need to put it

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Speaker 3: on a T shirt. Doctor Rosa Turner Ash said there's

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Speaker 3: a difference between being strong and being powerful. Strong women

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Speaker 3: pushed through, they have heart attacks, they have strokes, they

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Speaker 3: have high blood pressure, and they die.

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Speaker 2: Powerful women stop.

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Speaker 3: They feel, they process, they learn the lesson, and then

378
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Speaker 3: and only then do they move on. So many of

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Speaker 3: us are strong. So for me it was this is

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Speaker 3: what women in my life do. They put on the

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Speaker 3: clothes and the hair's done, and they just keep going

382
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Speaker 3: no matter what. They don't process, they don't feel, and

383
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Speaker 3: learning the difference has just been so empowering for me recently,

384
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Speaker 3: like so many women. We talk about these three hundred

385
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Speaker 3: thousand black women who've lost their jobs. Well, for people

386
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Speaker 3: like me who are self employed, contracts or everything I

387
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Speaker 3: recently lost.

388
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Speaker 2: Really big contract.

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Speaker 3: So my first inclination was, girl, you're gonna be all right,

390
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Speaker 3: don't even think about that, just keep moving. And then

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Speaker 3: I stopped, and I'm like like, hold on, this is

392
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Speaker 3: messed up. Yeah, and this is scary and this doesn't

393
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Speaker 3: feel great. Yeah, So let me processes, let me allow

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Speaker 3: myself to be in my feelings and then move on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

396
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Speaker 2: And surprisingly it didn't even take me a day.

397
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Speaker 3: But I had to pat myself on the back for

398
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Speaker 3: having my pity party.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because you don't give yourself the grace that I

400
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Speaker 1: have one.

401
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Speaker 3: Never allowed myself to have pity parties, but I had

402
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Speaker 3: one that day.

403
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Speaker 2: Good and I felt powerful.

404
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Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. Yeah, And I feel like more

405
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Speaker 1: women should take the time to do that because we

406
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: are We're like I gotta keep pushing, I gotta keep

407
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Speaker 1: going out like nobody cares. That's the thought that keeps

408
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Speaker 1: bringing in our head. We just got to keep.

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Speaker 2: Going, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I want to know for the people that are listening,

411
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Speaker 1: who are carrying shame or pain or trauma from their past,

412
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Speaker 1: who have finally been able to separate what happened to

413
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Speaker 1: them from who they are. Because a lot of times

414
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Speaker 1: people they kind of get stuck in what happened to them.

415
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Speaker 1: What is there something that you could say to them

416
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Speaker 1: who are trying to separate from what happened to who

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Speaker 1: they actually are.

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Speaker 3: You know, there are so many things that we internalize

419
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Speaker 3: as if it's our fault, separate the two, even when

420
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 3: it is your fault, even when it is a self

421
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Speaker 3: inflicted move. For me, I think about the grace that

422
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Speaker 3: God gives to me. So if God offers me grace,

423
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Speaker 3: and I believe in my faith that He forgives me,

424
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Speaker 3: then why would I forgive myself? And I'm constantly saying

425
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Speaker 3: to myself, a girl that's done. Now, Yeah, in this

426
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Speaker 3: powerful season, I know, I got to process it and

427
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 3: I got to learn to feel I've got to feel it. Yeah,

428
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Speaker 3: But I'm like, girl that's done. Forgive yourself and move on.

429
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Speaker 3: And I would just say that to anyone that same

430
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Speaker 3: grace said. If you are a person of faith, you

431
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Speaker 3: believe God shows you the same grace that you would

432
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Speaker 3: show your neighbor, yes, or family member. It's okay to

433
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Speaker 3: show it to yourself. And for some people it may

434
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Speaker 3: be writing it down in a book, sharing it with others.

435
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Speaker 3: For some it just may be that conversation with yourself

436
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Speaker 3: on forgiving yourself.

437
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Speaker 2: Absolutely being kind to yourself right.

438
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Speaker 1: No, for sure. In the book, you talk about sanding

439
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: yourself down and are standing parts of yourself down. And

440
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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people in the public

441
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Speaker 1: eye do this and sometimes they don't even realize they're

442
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Speaker 1: doing it, where it's like I'm dimming my light in

443
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Speaker 1: certain areas because I'm too afraid. I want to ask you,

444
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Speaker 1: at what point did you realize that success had started

445
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Speaker 1: costing pieces of who you really are?

446
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: You know?

447
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 3: I take a lot back to running from Mayor because

448
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 3: I was so exposed in so many ways, subject to

449
00:23:54,160 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: so much for scrutiny and having to explain so much

450
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 3: much of who I was and what motivated me to

451
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 3: do what I did.

452
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: But I was always aware of what.

453
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 3: We now call imposter syndrome, walking in the rooms, going

454
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: am I really good enough?

455
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: Like?

456
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 2: And these are things I'm saying to myself.

457
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 3: Never mind I was invited into the room, right, never

458
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 3: mind that they.

459
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 2: Thought I was good enough. I'm my girl, This jig

460
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 2: is gonna be up. You're gonna see that you really

461
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 2: shouldn't be in this room.

462
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: So it's it was more of a at different times,

463
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 3: recognizing the standing down, but then at some point just

464
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 3: saying that, and again I go back to telling my story,

465
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 3: saying like wait a minute, like you know, I'm I.

466
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: Am all that, and it's okay to be all that.

467
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 2: That means that I'm.

468
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 3: Perfect, right, but it means that I'm just as qualified,

469
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 3: I'm just as powerful. And if I have to dim

470
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 3: my light for you to feel better, that's something that's

471
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 3: wrong with you, not with me exactly.

472
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 1: That's good for you. I'm glad you got to that point.

473
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 3: And saying also, just lastly, purging friendships that require you

474
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 3: to dim your light too, because that's something we all

475
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 3: have to. You know, our good friend taller. Everybody can't

476
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 3: go where you're going. And that doesn't mean that that

477
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 3: it's because you think you're better than somebody else that

478
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: still have friends from kindergarten right in my life, but

479
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 3: it means that when when your purpose no longer lines, Yeah,

480
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: sometimes sometimes you have to love people from a farm

481
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 3: for sure.

482
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've had that. I actually had a season

483
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: of this podcast where we talked about purging season where

484
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: I just felt like God was literally like pruning my

485
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: entire life is a really to season to navigate, and

486
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: I was just like, goodness, Lord, like, do I have

487
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: to go through this? But it was it was for

488
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: the good, you know, and not all that lasts forever,

489
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Sometimes you just need a

490
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 1: separation so that we can both grow mature. But some

491
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: people do they can't handle the altitude in which it's going. Yeah, yeah,

492
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: so that's good. That's definitely something that I had to

493
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: go through. When you look back at yourself from this perspective, now,

494
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 1: what are some things that you feel like you were

495
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: hiding or trying to stand down because you were struggling

496
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: with the imposter syndrome.

497
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 3: Not wanting people to know my struggles was one one thing.

498
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 3: Not people not wanting people to know that I struggle

499
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 3: internally was another thing. And just you know, when when

500
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 3: you are often the first For me in my family,

501
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 3: I come from a family of self made people, smartest

502
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 3: people ever known. But when you go and you get

503
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 3: that degree and you get that advanced degree, you're around

504
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 3: another group of people You're like, oh, okay, you know

505
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 3: their backgrounds a little different from mine. Yeah, so I'm

506
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 3: not always telling the story of my people. Yeah, because

507
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 3: maybe I don't feel like this piece of the puzzle

508
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 3: fits in this room, but again recognizing that's their.

509
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: Problem, not my problem.

510
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, because my people were some strong, resilient people who

511
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 3: made a way out of no way when they didn't

512
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 3: have money passed down, they didn't have a formal education,

513
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 3: and they still figured it out and they did it

514
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 3: with common sense, and they did it with hard work,

515
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 3: and they did.

516
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 2: It with faith.

517
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: Right, that's so good. I love that Black women, especially

518
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder or being

519
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: the first these rooms. Do you feel like we feel

520
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: like we have to be more polished, more educated, and

521
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: everything's even accepted in those rooms? And why is that?

522
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: I feel like there's always like a double standard when

523
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: it comes to us.

524
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 3: Well, there is a double standard. There is a double standard.

525
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 3: So I don't think that's all self imposed. But what

526
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 3: I find, and we've seen studies that talk about men

527
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 3: entering rooms or even applying for jobs, they can feel

528
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 3: like they are twenty five forty percent qualified and they're like,

529
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm going forward right, and we feel like we got

530
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: to check all the boxes crossed, all the t's dot,

531
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: all the eyes to even present ourselves as a candidate,

532
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 3: So part of it is self imposed, but there is

533
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 3: this extra burden that's placed upon us that we can

534
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 3: come with all the credentials, that we can come with

535
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 3: all the experience, and we still have to explain ourselves

536
00:28:55,920 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 3: and justify ourselves and sometimes even answer to people who

537
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 3: we know aren't near less qualified as we are.

538
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, no, I've definitely seen that happen before. I

539
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: want to talk about your motherhood journey. You talk about IVF,

540
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: You talked about the fibroids, which is something even I'm

541
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: forty three now. Last year I went to the fertility

542
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: doctor just to even see if I could have children,

543
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,719
Speaker 1: because I hadn't been trying, but I was like, let

544
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,239
Speaker 1: me just see if I can even have kids, if

545
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: I should try to freeze my eggs or what the

546
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: case may be. Found out I had fibroids as well,

547
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: and she's like, right now, it doesn't like there's any

548
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: inside your uterus. We would have to do another procedure

549
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: just to go inside and look around to make sure

550
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: you're okay, because if you do want to do IVF

551
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: and freeze your eggs, then we need to go in

552
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: and get those fibroids out of your uterus before we

553
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: can actually plant one inside you. And I was like,

554
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: all this stuff we got to think about. Yeah, you know,

555
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: as a woman who has gone through that, you talk

556
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: about losing count of the surgeries you had to have

557
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: take us on that journey. And I know there's so

558
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: many women that struggle with that. You know, I was

559
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: struggling with and had no idea. I was struggling with

560
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: it because that's not something you find out just going

561
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: to get a passmear No, it's not right.

562
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, So for me, and this was late nineteen nineties,

563
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 3: early two thousand, so even freezing eggs won a common

564
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 3: thing then, So I knew that I had fibroids. I

565
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 3: had a surgery before, like I'd had assist on my ovary,

566
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 3: so I had a few minor things. But once my

567
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 3: husband and I started trying, and I write about having

568
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 3: this exploratory surgery that then led to the scar tissue

569
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: that then led to this other condition that compromised my

570
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 3: uterus and was ultimately believed to be the reason that

571
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: I couldn't carry a CHIWD And it was heartbreaking.

572
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: It's one is expensive.

573
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 3: Secondly, you know, for so many women, you feel as

574
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 3: if you are not complete unless you complete that motherhood

575
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 3: journey in this traditional way. So feeling like a failure

576
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: as a woman, as a wife, And you know, did

577
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 3: I bring this on myself by letting them do this

578
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 3: exploratory surgery and then the pain and trauma of it all.

579
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 2: I mean, these.

580
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 3: Surgeries are painful, and then when you go through IVF treatment,

581
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 3: then you are are the expense of it all.

582
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: And it is just it's such a process. You have

583
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: to take shots every day. At some point, you have

584
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: to go to the doctor every day.

585
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 3: At some point they retrieve the eggs and then they

586
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: do whatever they do with the eggs and the sperm,

587
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 3: and then you get them implanted.

588
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: I mean, it's they're like multiple steps.

589
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying this to scare anybody or discourage them,

590
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 3: but it is something that unless you've been through it,

591
00:31:56,040 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 3: you cannot begin to imagine how taxing it is physically

592
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 3: and emotionally. And it was. It was horrible for us

593
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 3: because it didn't result in us having a child. But

594
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 3: that being said again this rough side of the mountain.

595
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: Had I not been through any of that, yes, I

596
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: would not have adopted the four wonderful children that I have,

597
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 3: and I could not imagine being a mother to anybody

598
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: else other than those four.

599
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. I can't imagine. That's an extreme

600
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: let down disappointment to go through all that and then

601
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: they say, sorry, you still can't have children, but your

602
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: purpose and destiny was in those four. That's right, Yes,

603
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: I love that. I do want to ask you, what

604
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 1: is something that your four children have taught you that

605
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: living the public life you've had to live could have

606
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: never taught you.

607
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 3: My four children keep me so grounded. Kids that they

608
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 3: are my level setters. It's I mean, even on Mother's

609
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 3: Day I had to go to the mall and look

610
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 3: for some clothes for them to wear election night, and

611
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 3: somebody said, don't you have somebody to do that for you?

612
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, that would be me, because I'm still

613
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 3: the mother for sure, you know. And and for me

614
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: it's it's grounding because it just helps me prioritize really

615
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 3: what's important. And for me, being a mother is really important.

616
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 3: And my husband always says to me, you know, they're

617
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 3: gonna make life decisions for you one day, like, so

618
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 3: you better ala they do not forget so you know,

619
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 3: it's just a for me, the biggest lesson. It's just

620
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: been Priorityeah.

621
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,239
Speaker 1: I love it to them. I love it, and I

622
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: love you and your husband Dick. I love your relationship

623
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: and y'all always together. I didn't realize that you guys

624
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: been the have thirty years, but like, we're friends first.

625
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 3: Were we used to study together. I was trying to

626
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: introduce them to one of my friends.

627
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: I said, she likes older guys. Like talk to her.

628
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 2: He was like, Nah, I like older guys. I love

629
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: My mom was like, I think he wants to do

630
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 2: more than study.

631
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: Clearly, I love that, but I love I love your relationship,

632
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: and I love how you were friends first. How do

633
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: you feel like that friendship helped shape the bond that

634
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 1: you all have through everything that you've gone through and

635
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 1: with the test of time, Because a lot of things

636
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: that you've gone through would break up the strongest couple,

637
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: like even if he really wanted to have kids one way,

638
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: and you're like, I can't certain things in your life

639
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: and even running for mayor in office, those things can

640
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: be straining on a marriage. How do you feel like

641
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: that friendship really set the tone in.

642
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 3: That bond that you have well, all those things were

643
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 3: straining on a marriage. And you know, again, just what

644
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 3: the doesn't mean that you go out in public and like, oh,

645
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 3: by the way, Derek and I are not speaking today.

646
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 3: You know we're gonna walk in here hold their hands.

647
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 3: We hadn't spoken since yesterday. But the friendship, I say

648
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 3: for us, the beauty of our relationship. We've never given

649
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 3: up on each other. At the same time, relationships, the

650
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 3: best of relationships aren't perfect relationships. Sometimes you're here and

651
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 3: sometimes you're here, and it may all be in the

652
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 3: same day.

653
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:37,720
Speaker 2: But that friendship sometimes the same hour.

654
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 3: You know that that that friendship is what keeps us

655
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 3: connected because we do like each other, we do love

656
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: each other. We have fun together. Yes, we enjoy each

657
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 3: other's company. So having that foundation has sustained us. And

658
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 3: you know, it's like I'm like, he's crazy. He's like

659
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 3: you were crazier, but it, you know, we just always

660
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 3: find our way to each other. So I'm just grateful

661
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 3: for that.

662
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 1: I love it. I love that. In writing this book,

663
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a lot of reflection and moments where

664
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: as you're writing, was there a moment where you just

665
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: looking like, man, like I really have a good husband.

666
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: You know, like there's moments where you you know it,

667
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: but like as you're writing, it's like, dang, like he

668
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: did all this, like this is this is good? Man, Savannah,

669
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: Well you know what.

670
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 2: It is because.

671
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 3: In relationships you remember the really good things that sustain.

672
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 2: You and in writing this book. And I joke with him, I.

673
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 3: Said, you need to pay me for how wonderful you

674
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 3: came out in this book.

675
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: He's like, I pay you every day. He's like your

676
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 2: life and the pavement.

677
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 3: But also thinking about you know, how I want my

678
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 3: kids to see their father and our relationship. You know,

679
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to write the details about when we

680
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 3: weren't speaking and not getting alone. Not that you're hiding

681
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 3: the truth, but you know, he is my husband. He

682
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 3: is the father of my children, and I will always

683
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 3: hold him in the best like possible for my children, and.

684
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 2: Vice versa. He does for me too.

685
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, he just didn't write a book.

686
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, he said, I write my book.

687
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: We'll be waiting for it. You can come home and

688
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 1: keep it positive and we'll talk to you too. I

689
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: know he's going to watch this like what were' all

690
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,439
Speaker 1: talking about? But there were so many moments where Derek

691
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: recognized strengths in you that you didn't even recognize. I

692
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: want to know, how important is it to have a

693
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: partner who sees things when you're doubting yourself.

694
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

695
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 3: Derek has always seemed the best in me in that

696
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 3: regard that when I didn't believe that I could do

697
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 3: certain things. And I write about this even when we're

698
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 3: in law school and I said it, I felt like

699
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 3: it was a continuation of my time at FAM you

700
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 3: because I'm still living my best family life. But I

701
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 3: was in law school and getting those first set of.

702
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: Rates, I was like, oh, gotta get it together.

703
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 3: And him having this conversation with me about you are smart,

704
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 3: You're capable. Wow, You're just You're gonna stop going out

705
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: so much.

706
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,800
Speaker 1: That's what the old man to do for get you together.

707
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: Well, he later said he knew then he wanted to

708
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 3: marry me, but he was not gonna explain to people

709
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,919
Speaker 3: that we met in law school and I flunked out.

710
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 2: He was you to.

711
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, he's always seen the best in me,

712
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 3: and even when I didn't see it in myself. I'm

713
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 3: really fortunate for that. That's what a relationship is should be,

714
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 3: whether it's a friendship or whether it's a romantic relationship

715
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 3: that people you are around see the very best in

716
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 3: you and bring that out.

717
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 1: For sure, you talked about your children grounding you. It's

718
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: like keeping you grounding, not grounding you. Like her kids

719
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 1: aren't putting her own punishment. How they ground you. How

720
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: has your marriage grounded you as well? Well?

721
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 3: You know, Derek refers to her home as Derek Stan

722
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 3: and he says, it's a sovereign nation, that's right. You

723
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 3: know when I was mayor, you know, when I would

724
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 3: come in the house with what he called all that

725
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 3: aggressive mayor in He's like, hey, Derek Stan, you need

726
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 3: to leave all that at the mail box.

727
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 2: You don't bring all that aggression in here.

728
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 3: But you know, it is difficult to to kind of

729
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 3: modulate those You've got to go out in the world

730
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 3: one way and then you got to come back in

731
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 3: the house another way, and not in an effort to

732
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 3: diminish me, but like, hey, you don't have to come

733
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 3: in here with fighting like you've been fighting all day.

734
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: We don't have to fight in here too. You don't

735
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 2: have to be aggressive with me. So you know again

736
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: that and thankfully.

737
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: Derek is he ain't that in the politics. He supports

738
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 3: me because it's me, but he's like, I just want

739
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 3: to go to my good job, do my job, and

740
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be supportive of you as my wife.

741
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 2: So that's helpful.

742
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that Derek stand sounds like a soft

743
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: landing for you when you come home. My parents had

744
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: a rule whatever like happens at work, stays at work,

745
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: so that the home felt more like home. Oh yeah.

746
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: So my mom would come in and she was like,

747
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: I need an hour. So she would go in the

748
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: room and shut the door, and then the hours like okay,

749
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: what do ya want to eat? Like yeah, but she

750
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: would take an hour to herself because it was a lot.

751
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: She worked at a hospital, so she saw so much

752
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: and every day it was just like it was a

753
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: lot for one person to take. I be don't understand

754
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: what people at the hospital seize on a day to

755
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: day basis is not a lot to internalize a lot.

756
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: So I didn't understand it then, but I mean it

757
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you need it. It was just like a

758
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: normal thing. Mom needs her hour. But as an adult

759
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: I get it now because when I go home and

760
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 1: I don't have no kids, I'm like, I need an hour.

761
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, sometimes you just need to decompress, right, because

762
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,879
Speaker 3: you're walking out in the world and you're having to

763
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 3: get so much. Sometimes you just need to take a

764
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 3: moment to yourself.

765
00:41:56,440 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, absolutely. You talk about your faith and that

766
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: is clearly a firm foundation that you stand on. You

767
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: even dedicated scripture pages in your book. I want to

768
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: know how has faith helped you in moments where you

769
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: didn't understand at the time, but you had to really

770
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: lean on God to get you through it.

771
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 3: Just always remembering what my grandmother would tell me, It's

772
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 3: gonna always work out for my good.

773
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:27,439
Speaker 2: So even you know, not knowing where provision would always.

774
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 3: Come from, not knowing why things happened, like the grandmama

775
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: always told me it was gonna work out for my good. Yeah,

776
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,240
Speaker 3: and the other thing and again with faith. Some people

777
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 3: think of faith as meaning that you got to be

778
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:44,399
Speaker 3: perfect and that you're a holy roller. I say, I'm

779
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 3: a big cinner, but.

780
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,919
Speaker 1: We all, we all are, said, honey, we all are,

781
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: we all are.

782
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 3: But I know that God still loves me often in

783
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 3: spite of me. And that was the faith that my

784
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 3: grandmother taught me.

785
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, and at some point.

786
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 3: You know, it's with any child, you you have to

787
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 3: grow into your own faith. Yes, and for me, many

788
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 3: of these lessons that she had told me were I

789
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: had to learn from myself at different times in life

790
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 3: through my own experiences.

791
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: Yes. So now I want to talk about where we

792
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: are today. Oh yeah, yes, you are now running for governor.

793
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 1: I am first of all, what made did you just

794
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: wake up and say I'm unning for government?

795
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 2: Absolutely not?

796
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 1: I did not. How did we get here?

797
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:37,959
Speaker 2: When you know.

798
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 3: I was doing a lot of things that didn't involve policy.

799
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 3: I you know, I produced the show.

800
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 2: Over at Hold Period Studios, I.

801
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:51,760
Speaker 1: Go by the way.

802
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: Yes, I had the.

803
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: Privilege of working at the White House. I was doing

804
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 3: commentating for CNN, consulting. I was doing a lot of things,

805
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 3: living my.

806
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 2: Best free life.

807
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 3: But the day after the presidential election, I went in

808
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 3: a prayer, like, Lord, what am I called to do

809
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 3: in this moment? And I found a journal I had

810
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 3: written some notes just having this real honest conversation with

811
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 3: God about well, why do I have to run for office?

812
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: Because the calling was in my heart, but my mind's like, girl,

813
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 3: do you really want to get walked back to that and.

814
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 2: Give up all these things that are making you comfortable.

815
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: But when God has a calling on your life, it's

816
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 3: difficult to ignore it.

817
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,720
Speaker 2: And for me, that calling is to serve.

818
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: And I prayed about what am I called to do

819
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 3: in this season, and I know from my time as

820
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 3: mayor I had to go fight on behalf of people

821
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 3: you didn't have the ability to speak up for themselves.

822
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 3: I'm here, you are here, and I know it's the

823
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 3: right thing to do. Because once I had the confirmation

824
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 3: that this was the path I was to take, I

825
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 3: hadn't thought about it again.

826
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: Really, what's this the right decision?

827
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: What was the time period from like feeling it in

828
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: your heart praying about it to like this is what

829
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do? Like how long did you have to

830
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: mole over it?

831
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 3: I wrote those notes sometime in November of twenty twenty four,

832
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 3: because I came across it recently and saw it. I

833
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 3: announced my run, I believe in April of twenty twenty five,

834
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 3: and I was, you know, still tossing and.

835
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: Turning about it.

836
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 3: And again, you know, I remember, even just before making

837
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 3: that announcement, one of my dear cousins, who is like

838
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 3: more like a brother.

839
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 2: To me, than a cousin. I told us.

840
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 3: That he was very ill, and we did know that

841
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 3: he had been you know, he looked fine to us,

842
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 3: but he took a turn and he told.

843
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: Us about two weeks before he passed that he had

844
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: stomach cancer.

845
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 3: And so again it was just then I look at

846
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 3: the pictures that I even took launching the campaign, and

847
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 3: I can see the sadness in my eyes. But again,

848
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 3: you know the life.

849
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: I'm here.

850
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 3: Professionally, I'm here personally, but remembering there will be these

851
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 3: rough patches, and you're gonna go up some rough patches

852
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 3: and they're gonna be some rough times, but just keep

853
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 3: climbing and just keep holding on.

854
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 2: Yes, So it was, you know, launching professionally.

855
00:46:53,200 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 3: Finally saying that out loud was very fulfilling, personally, very painful,

856
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 3: but it was, you know, again these lessons of faith

857
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 3: that my grandmother taught me.

858
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I love that you are our mayor during

859
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: one of the hardest times of my life, through the

860
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: pandemic and faced a lot of scrutiny. You're running for governor. Now,

861
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: what is something that you can tell people that because

862
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: I know we've had this conversation and like, what are

863
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 1: things that you can tell people that are gonna be different,

864
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: that this is why you should vote for Keish Lance Bottoms.

865
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

866
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 3: I'm a battle tested leader and I fought with every

867
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 3: single thing I had for the people of Atlanta and

868
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 3: for the people.

869
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 2: Across the state.

870
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 1: Yeah.

871
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,919
Speaker 3: And I did it because it was the right thing

872
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 3: to do. And it didn't mean that every decision I

873
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 3: made was perfect, but it did mean that I tried

874
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 3: my very best. And you know, even when people have

875
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 3: asked me, why don't you run for a second term?

876
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: Run that's a question that comes up.

877
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I went in the prayer about that, you know,

878
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:04,720
Speaker 3: reminded people I finished my term and I finished it strong.

879
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 3: I did a poll just before I left the Mayor's

880
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 3: office at sixty eight percent. Our internal polls showed me

881
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 3: so new. The people of Atlanta were please with the

882
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:19,720
Speaker 3: representation I provided. And I write about this in my book.

883
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 3: My dad died suddenly at fifty five, and I given

884
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: everything I had to be mayor to the city. I

885
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 3: was giving everything I had to my family. I write

886
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,879
Speaker 3: about even the night of the protest in Atlanta, when I.

887
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 1: Gave that remember, like it was yesterday.

888
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I got home my son. My son likes

889
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 3: it was like they ate all the fish, They ate

890
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 3: all the fried fish because I was cooking when I

891
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 3: left to go to a police headquarters. I came in

892
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: and I fried fish and cook grits for him.

893
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 1: Oh.

894
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 2: When I got home.

895
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: Back to it's like back to Yeah.

896
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 3: So I'd given every single thing I had, But at

897
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 3: that time I had, I was pre diabetic, I was

898
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 3: pre glaucoma, which I still am. I have to use

899
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 3: drops now, I pre hypertensive chronic inflammation. I gained thirty pounds,

900
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 3: like all these things. And I would would think my

901
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 3: daddy died suddenly at fifty five if I had four

902
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 3: years left.

903
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about my kids? What about me?

904
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 3: And making a decision not out of weakness but out

905
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 3: of strength, like I'm making the best decision for me

906
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 3: and my family at this time. And what I will

907
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 3: say now, having served in the White House, reconnecting even

908
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 3: with my therapist, in making sure that I understand I

909
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 3: don't have to sacrifice everything about myself for everybody else

910
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:07,320
Speaker 3: to succeed, then to be happy, has been empowering for me.

911
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:09,919
Speaker 1: I think that's a message to all the women around

912
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 1: the world.

913
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, so when your mom would come home and say

914
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 3: I need an hour. It means there are days where

915
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 3: I have to say, you know what, I need a minute,

916
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 3: and the old me would never ever do that.

917
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would.

918
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 3: I would rather died making sure that everybody else who

919
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 3: was happy and whole than than live with thinking somebody

920
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 3: else didn't get everything they needed out of me.

921
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 1: That's so good. Yeah, I totally get that. A lot

922
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: of people who don't understand politics, we see everything from

923
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: the outside. Why are they doing that, Why did they

924
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 1: do this, Why did they say this? What is something

925
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: that you can share to help people who don't really

926
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 1: understands understand what goes behind the decision making and how

927
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 1: it doesn't all fall on just whatever you feel is right.

928
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 3: You know, people often expect perfection from politicians, and you know,

929
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 3: even when I made the decision not to run again,

930
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 3: I said, everybody's not going to understand it. It's not

931
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 3: for everybody to understand. Everybody, then, always understand what it

932
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,360
Speaker 3: takes to be able to get things done. You sometimes

933
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,240
Speaker 3: have to negotiate. You sometimes have to give on things

934
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 3: that you don't necessarily want to give on, but you

935
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 3: see the benefit is worth giving some things in return

936
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 3: and it is difficult as a politician when you have

937
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 3: to fight on all sides. So as a Democrat, I'm

938
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 3: already fighting what Republicans on so much.

939
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 2: I want to have to fight with my people too.

940
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 3: Disagree with me respectfully, give me your input respectfully. But

941
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 3: to be attacked on all sides just makes it more

942
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,439
Speaker 3: difficult for people to lead. And I believe that's why

943
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 3: you've seen so many people step away from politics, and

944
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 3: not for sure. You know, I've had the people at

945
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 3: my house. I've had the people call me the N word,

946
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: and the people you know, send inappropriate messages to me

947
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 3: and to my kids.

948
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 2: I've had the threats on my life, very.

949
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 3: Credible threats from kidnapping to bodily harm. But I would

950
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 3: say the vast majority of people who are doing this

951
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 3: done pay wells. You're not doing it for the money.

952
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 3: You're doing it because you care, because you care, and

953
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:55,720
Speaker 3: you're trying to serve people. So just give people grace.

954
00:52:56,080 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I love it. Thank you, cause

955
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: I know these are questions that people want to know,

956
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: and it's this is a very important election. So much

957
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 1: is happening with where they're changing different things around that

958
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: are not for the black cultures benefit. So thank you

959
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 1: so much, and.

960
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: Just reminding people don't check outch.

961
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: This is time to check in, dude, this is not

962
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: the time to check out.

963
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

964
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 3: Uh. A vote that's stay on the couch is the

965
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 3: vote for the other side. You may not get everything

966
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 3: you want, but if you get seventy five percent what

967
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 3: you want, that's a win.

968
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, better than none of what you want.

969
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:37,399
Speaker 2: That's right.

970
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I totally agree. So this season on keep

971
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: it positive, sweetie, we are leaning more into being unapologetic.

972
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 1: So I wanna know, with you running for office, your leadership,

973
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: being a mother, all the things, what are you most

974
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,439
Speaker 1: unapologetic about in this season of your life.

975
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 2: I am most unapologetic about choosing me.

976
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 3: Yes. So sometimes when I get home, if it's five thirty,

977
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 3: it may mean that I put on my pajamas at

978
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:12,360
Speaker 3: five thirty. I'm not changing into the pre bed clothes.

979
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 2: I'm not changing into the at home clothes.

980
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,320
Speaker 3: No, I'm putting my pajamas on it and I'm getting

981
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 3: in the bed.

982
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 2: Yes, may mean that I'm working.

983
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,720
Speaker 3: From my bed, but I'm in the bed because I'm tired.

984
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 2: I heard that again, that owe me. Yeah, I would

985
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 2: have never thought of doing that.

986
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that really range true when you talked about

987
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: your father passing away, and I realized, you know what

988
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 1: I'm saying, the reality check of I have four more

989
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: years to the age that my father passed. What am

990
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 1: I going to do to make sure? And I know

991
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: how stressful your job is. That is literally like causing

992
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,840
Speaker 1: you to become sick, you know, so the choosing yourself

993
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: and I think that's a message to all women because

994
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: we think we're a superhero and it's put on your

995
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: cape and keep going, you know.

996
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 2: And now for me, it's taking time.

997
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, this s may be on my trust, but sometimes

998
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 3: it gets crooked, like girls, you're good.

999
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. Mayor kish Land Spiders. Well, thank

1000
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: you so much for coming to spend time with us. Guys,

1001
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: Please go get her book the Rough Side of the

1002
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: Mountain where books are available. I promise you will not

1003
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:22,959
Speaker 1: regret it. Thank you so so much, Thank you so much. Absolutely.

1004
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: What I appreciate most about this conversation is it's not

1005
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 1: just about leadership, but about pressure of always having to

1006
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: be strong and composed while still carrying very human things

1007
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 1: underneath it all. And I think that's what makes the

1008
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: Rough Side of the Mountain so powerful, Keisha. Thank you

1009
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 1: so much for your honesty, your grace, and for allowing

1010
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,960
Speaker 1: us to see the woman behind the armor. Thank you

1011
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 1: for tuning in to another episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie.

1012
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:55,439
Speaker 1: Be sure to grab your copy of the Rough Side

1013
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 1: of the Mountain where books are sold, and don't forget

1014
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 1: to download the season eleven kIPS reflection guide at Christo

1015
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 1: Ranehezel dot com. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who

1016
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 1: needs it, and if you need advice, positivity, or just

1017
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 1: want to share where you're going through, email us at

1018
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: Keep It Positive Outcomes at gmail dot com. As always,

1019
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: say blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive, Sweetie. I'll

1020
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 1: see you guys next time.