Speaker 1: Hi everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off
Speaker 1: of doing stand up, I return on October one to
Speaker 1: complete my Vaccinated and Horny tour. October, November, and December,
Speaker 1: I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,
Speaker 1: and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach,
Speaker 1: Baker's Field. I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis,
Speaker 1: San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name
Speaker 1: a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there, since
Speaker 1: this will be my last year that I'm able to
Speaker 1: go inside the state of Florida. So check out Chelsea
Speaker 1: handler dot com for more stand up dates for my
Speaker 1: Vaccinated in Horny Tour. These are my last dates. Hi Catherine,
Speaker 1: Hi Chelsea. Hi. How's it going. Oh, it's going so well.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for our guest today. I know I'm
Speaker 1: excited for her too. She's a real piece of work.
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that I saw I
Speaker 1: went way all watching yesterday, which was I did. But
Speaker 1: I think next time it has to be a private affair.
Speaker 1: You know. I don't know why we get on these
Speaker 1: boats and then you're stuck on these boats for like
Speaker 1: four hours with a bunch of other people. We did
Speaker 1: see an orca and we saw a humpback and that
Speaker 1: was really really cool. Yeah, but yeah, they're they're too long.
Speaker 1: Everybody's every I find all activities to be one hour
Speaker 1: too long. Like everything needs to be condensed, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be out on a boat
Speaker 1: for three and a half hours. I want to be
Speaker 1: out on the boat for two and a half hours. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that feels about right. My only question is like, you've
Speaker 1: got to have time enough to find those whales. I
Speaker 1: guess right, Well, they're all there. They're all there because
Speaker 1: in this season, I mean, they guarantee a site a
Speaker 1: whale sighting, and yeah they did, and we we saw one,
Speaker 1: like within twenty minutes, we saw a huge humpback that
Speaker 1: was playing with the log. It was so cute. I
Speaker 1: mean if I were in the water and I saw
Speaker 1: a humpback swimming towards me, I think I would pass
Speaker 1: out from the sheer. Well. I mean, they are so massive.
Speaker 1: The orcas are not as big as I thought they were,
Speaker 1: but not that I'm in the water with them. But
Speaker 1: you know, those humpbacks are just and the gray whales
Speaker 1: are so big. Oh they're so beautiful, because that's the
Speaker 1: only thing we're used to seeing, right, is those orcas
Speaker 1: that are at you know, sea World, and those poor
Speaker 1: things when you see them out in the free ocean,
Speaker 1: swimming wherever the funk they feel like it, and then
Speaker 1: you see them stuck. I mean, no wonder orcas are
Speaker 1: killing people inside zoos or whatever the marine parks, right,
Speaker 1: But apparently orcas are like horrible assholes. I you know,
Speaker 1: I don't smoke a lot of pop, but when I do,
Speaker 1: I like to put on what I call ocean show,
Speaker 1: which is you know, nature ocean documentaries. And I saw
Speaker 1: one and it was like, these orcas just like bombarded
Speaker 1: a nice other whale and her baby and killed the baby,
Speaker 1: drowned it, baby beluga. They drowned baby beluga and then
Speaker 1: they just left it like it wasn't even for eating,
Speaker 1: it was for sports. Yet they're the top of the
Speaker 1: food chain. Yeah they're mean. I mean that's because they're
Speaker 1: at the top of the food chain. They didn't get
Speaker 1: there by accident. But yeah, that's really horrifying to kill
Speaker 1: your little baby. Because whales have emotions, you know, they're
Speaker 1: like highly emotional, so if they lose like a family member.
Speaker 1: Remember there was that whale. It was like kind of recently,
Speaker 1: but I have no sense of time, so it could
Speaker 1: have been six years ago or six months, but that
Speaker 1: was she lost her baby. Her baby died. She had
Speaker 1: just stated it for like eighteen months, and then the
Speaker 1: baby was born and she swam around with it for
Speaker 1: months because she was mourning the loss of it. Right exactly,
Speaker 1: this is what Orca's are doing. She should have called
Speaker 1: into the podcast. We are going to take a quick
Speaker 1: break so you can hear and add and then we'll
Speaker 1: be right back. Let's move on to our guest. Her
Speaker 1: name is Jamie Greenberg. She's my personal makeup artist. She
Speaker 1: travels with me a lot around the country, sometimes on tour,
Speaker 1: sometimes for other stuff. We're very good friends. And she
Speaker 1: likes to show me her ass, her boobs. Actually I've
Speaker 1: never seen her Pikachu, and I would like to say
Speaker 1: thank you for the hello, Jamie. Jamie's my makeup artist,
Speaker 1: and she is a mother of three children, and she
Speaker 1: has a husband. His name is Josh Hi Josh. He
Speaker 1: just celebrated his sixty five birthday. Now, yeah, anyway, Jamie
Speaker 1: has been an absenteem mother for the last six months.
Speaker 1: I have no friends who are parents who are with
Speaker 1: their children less than Jamie Greenberg. But when she is
Speaker 1: with them, she is on the sidelines of a softball game,
Speaker 1: fucking screaming and yelling like a lunatic. Because she's one
Speaker 1: of those parents. I am a softball mom, and I
Speaker 1: will cut a bit or pop attire and her son.
Speaker 1: Tell the quick story about your son when he didn't
Speaker 1: want to play with the extra basketball the like the
Speaker 1: game when he they asked him to play with the
Speaker 1: better team. Her sons seven. Okay, he's seven, and he
Speaker 1: started basketball and he was pretty good. He's showing promise.
Speaker 1: My husband was an athlete. I was an athlete. He
Speaker 1: starts dribbling and one of the coaches says, can he
Speaker 1: stay and play with us with the older kids. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: he's seven. In the old kids were eight. You don't
Speaker 1: have to suck on the microphone. Okay. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: my husband in a while, either, Okay, okay, because that's
Speaker 1: what you're doing when you go home, I'm sure exactly
Speaker 1: born again. Okay. So the coach comes over and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, he'll play. I just automatically, you know, offer
Speaker 1: him up, and he starts crying and he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to play. I'm scared, Like he
Speaker 1: was nervous that the older kids were going to play
Speaker 1: with him and he just didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you will get over and you
Speaker 1: will go, and this is what you're gonna do because
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a scholarship and I'm not paying for
Speaker 1: your college education, so you better get in there. A
Speaker 1: little seven year old and she's telling me this story
Speaker 1: and then she goes, and then Josh stormed out right
Speaker 1: and through the uniform at the garbage. Oh that story.
Speaker 1: That was another story. Oh that was the same day
Speaker 1: we went and played Wreck. So this is a travel
Speaker 1: team for those of you out there who knows sports
Speaker 1: travels very serious. And then Wreck, anyone with a pulse
Speaker 1: can play, right, you just have to be in the
Speaker 1: age group. So we signed him up for that. When
Speaker 1: we get there and there's no rules, like you can
Speaker 1: run with the ball, you can triple dribble. It was
Speaker 1: like a whole new sport genre. It wasn't basketball. So
Speaker 1: I'm like yelling at the ref like, hey, you're gonna
Speaker 1: call it a double dribble guy, and he's like nope,
Speaker 1: just keeps ignoring me. I'm like, hey, that that guy.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. You can't you know, run ten
Speaker 1: steps with the ball, like you know, like this is
Speaker 1: not basketball. I don't know what this is, but it's
Speaker 1: some bullshit. And in Sino, California and they were like, no,
Speaker 1: the kids are just having fun. I'm like, they're not four,
Speaker 1: there seven and we're on a mission here. So Josh
Speaker 1: took the uniform and threw it in the trash can
Speaker 1: and the coach was like, what are you doing? And
Speaker 1: then I came out. I'm like, you shouldn't throw away
Speaker 1: the wreck, you know, the wreck. They don't have any money,
Speaker 1: so I was like get I fished it out and
Speaker 1: gave it to the guy, but I'm like, we're done here.
Speaker 1: And that's Jamie Greenberg. Everybody. She's a celebrity makeup artist.
Speaker 1: That's how she introduces herself on her Instagram. You have
Speaker 1: to follow her on Instagram Jamie Makeup at Jamie Makeup,
Speaker 1: Jamie Makeup, and she has all these great products that
Speaker 1: I use. Bl Lighter, which is a splosh that you
Speaker 1: could use his eyeshadow, you could use it on your lips.
Speaker 1: And then she has bloss and I think everything in
Speaker 1: her product line she start with b L and she
Speaker 1: is not on board with that, right, bless you for
Speaker 1: saying that, But I don't know if that's such a
Speaker 1: good idea. I don't know. I mean, I know because
Speaker 1: everything was like like a hand job. You're right, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. You can't just stop and then
Speaker 1: be like we're going to do something else. No, I
Speaker 1: think you're right. I think let's talk about the third
Speaker 1: product when it comes to fruition, and you can help
Speaker 1: name it. But you can get those products at Jamie
Speaker 1: mckup and they're all light natural, like really nice organic.
Speaker 1: They're gluten free and gluten free and just really really quick.
Speaker 1: If you buy the clear one, I'm selling five of
Speaker 1: the Clear ones, which is the Bloss. It's a clear
Speaker 1: bloss bomb gloss. The first five hundred I'm giving a
Speaker 1: hundred percent of the proceeds to Plan Parenthood. Let me
Speaker 1: be clear, be clear. We're starting to get other brands
Speaker 1: to be in this campaign. I just talked to Plan
Speaker 1: Parenthood this morning. Sister from my activist friend Chelsea Handler,
Speaker 1: how to get involved and stick up for what you
Speaker 1: believe in. And I'm sticking up for my vagina and
Speaker 1: my daughter's vagina and my son's vagina after that game. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Jamie's so like I said, she's not.
Speaker 1: She's a latch key mother. She has been traveling with me.
Speaker 1: You came to New York with us, you came to Nashville,
Speaker 1: then you went to Italy. I went to Italy and Mexico,
Speaker 1: Mexico with your family. That was a nice throw them
Speaker 1: a bone, take them to Mexico for a week, and
Speaker 1: then she went back on another trip on her own.
Speaker 1: These are all under the sub diffusion doing people's makeup work.
Speaker 1: But that's not what's happening, and I think that we
Speaker 1: could all be honest about that. No, it's exactly I mean.
Speaker 1: I went, I did the bride in Italy. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you were there for five days and you did one
Speaker 1: day of work, seven days and two days of work rehearsal, dinner, okay,
Speaker 1: and the wedding, and then with you, I don't even
Speaker 1: want my makeup away. I'm basically renting Jamie for her personality.
Speaker 1: She said to me on occasion that my makeup is subpar,
Speaker 1: but my personalities attend. Anyone can make it in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: You just have to have a good personality. Yeah, j
Speaker 1: has the best personality. So Javie, let's talk a little
Speaker 1: bit about your attitude in life a little bit, because
Speaker 1: one of the things that I love about you so
Speaker 1: much is how positive and what a party bringer you are.
Speaker 1: And I know from personal experience that that could sometimes
Speaker 1: be a burden because people are expecting a lot. Like
Speaker 1: I I went through a lot, like a phase where
Speaker 1: I was like very resentful of people expecting like, oh,
Speaker 1: Chelsea's coming, She's gonna be hilarious, and I'm like, funk off,
Speaker 1: you don't know what kind of what time a month
Speaker 1: that this is for me and what I'm doing or
Speaker 1: how you know what shape I'm in, And so I
Speaker 1: became resentful of that at a point in my life.
Speaker 1: Do you feel pressured to pick up the situation when
Speaker 1: you walk into a room with clients or if you're
Speaker 1: working or with your family, like, for sure, Well the
Speaker 1: family gets the worst part of me, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well I just said that You're never right. Everybody knows. Yeah, Josh,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, I love you. Josh is actually calling
Speaker 1: in today. One caller, it's your husband again. Yes, I
Speaker 1: definitely think with maneuvering through my you know, business life.
Speaker 1: I realized that when I brought positive vibes like it
Speaker 1: changed the room, the dynamic. You could get anybody in
Speaker 1: the room who's mad, angry and instead of taking it personally,
Speaker 1: because in the beginning of the career, I would be like,
Speaker 1: they don't like me, and I would go inside with
Speaker 1: it and then I'm like, no, they're just they're having
Speaker 1: their own ship and I'm gonna come in and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna like make everyone in this room have a good time.
Speaker 1: And that was like once I started doing that, like
Speaker 1: I attracted the best clients you. I attracted just better
Speaker 1: things in my life I did. I manifested a good time.
Speaker 1: Who names some of your other clients CCO, Rashida Jones,
Speaker 1: Molly Shannon, Julie Bowen, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Moss, I've done her,
Speaker 1: Lizzie Kaplan Love, Lizzie Kaplan, Kristen Stress Store, like everybody,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Yeah you yeah, you have a great client list,
Speaker 1: and that's not the skill that you just develop. Some
Speaker 1: people don't have big personalities, so you already had that person.
Speaker 1: I mean when we were doing a show back East,
Speaker 1: I met like all of your friends from high school,
Speaker 1: not all of them, but a lot of them from
Speaker 1: growing up, like ten of them. And obviously like that
Speaker 1: dynamic was at play while you were growing up, because
Speaker 1: a lot of people I don't think could just all
Speaker 1: of a sudden become the person in the room that
Speaker 1: makes everybody happy, you know. And I'm sure you were
Speaker 1: like that because we talked about sometimes when you were
Speaker 1: growing up, like you always had your point of view.
Speaker 1: I always had my point of view whether I was
Speaker 1: playing soccer, whether I was dancing, whatever I did, I
Speaker 1: had fun with it. And I feel like my mom
Speaker 1: was like that. My dad was always working, so that's
Speaker 1: where I get the travel part from in my in
Speaker 1: my life. But no, sorry, dad, he won't listen. But
Speaker 1: my mom was always like just so vibrant and everything
Speaker 1: she did, and so I think it just seeped into
Speaker 1: me and everything I do. I try to be positive,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it gets you really fall are
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like it has. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: are dividends. You know that it pays off in dividends
Speaker 1: when you are positive and you are upbeat, like the
Speaker 1: domino effect. It's like you're tipping over one domino that
Speaker 1: tips over fifteen other ones. You could say that too.
Speaker 1: It's like when you withhold I heard this analogy, I
Speaker 1: think from a friend of mine recently. If you're upset
Speaker 1: with somebody and you don't say anything about it, you're
Speaker 1: letting a domino tip over in the wrong way, and
Speaker 1: you hold it, holds it, holds it, and then all
Speaker 1: the dominoes go down, and then no one said anything,
Speaker 1: and then there's a whole fucking mestical And then conversely,
Speaker 1: spreading joy and positivity is like tipping a domino in
Speaker 1: that direction, you know, and then everybody kind of falls
Speaker 1: in line, because when somebody's in a great mood, it's
Speaker 1: hard to be a fucking bitch and it's hard to
Speaker 1: be an asshole when there's positive vibes. It's absolutely and
Speaker 1: I mean just think about it. Anywhere you go, there's
Speaker 1: always somebody who comes in. Like even I was just
Speaker 1: on the plane and one of the stores on the
Speaker 1: plane was like moonwalking and having like the best time.
Speaker 1: It was like six in the morning. Everyone just couldn't
Speaker 1: help but laugh. He like spread smiles on everybody, even
Speaker 1: though everybody was like shut up, but it's also like
Speaker 1: thank you exactly. So yeah, I think it's so important
Speaker 1: because I also have like a true Gemini in the
Speaker 1: sense that like when I'm off, yeah, I just don't
Speaker 1: want to participate, like I I my friends also know
Speaker 1: like I won't go out or I won't show up
Speaker 1: if I don't feel like I have enough energy to
Speaker 1: be myself and be the best version of myself. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll go and then I end up having fun, but
Speaker 1: I'm just if I'm not in the right mindset. It's
Speaker 1: it feels like you're going to get a cold or
Speaker 1: something if you go out, Like I'm just not committed
Speaker 1: to being myself and having fun, so I'll stay in
Speaker 1: and watch like tons of TV, which she introduced me
Speaker 1: to my very first episode of The Housewives of Dubai,
Speaker 1: which I was also your very first episode. So Jamie
Speaker 1: loves reality television and she can't get enough of it,
Speaker 1: and she tells me I'm at it all the time,
Speaker 1: and my assistant also loves a housewife series. But which
Speaker 1: one is your favorite? Atlanta? I love Atlanta. I love
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills, New York, New Jersey. I mean, I love
Speaker 1: them all. I can't get enough. I really, and we're trying.
Speaker 1: I think you should be on the Real Housewives of
Speaker 1: Who's Who's My husbands? You have to be a housewife. No,
Speaker 1: you don't have to. You don't know. I mean, I mean, no,
Speaker 1: are they not married? Some of them aren't married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's funny. It is fun I never thought of that,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we watched. We had to lay over. What
Speaker 1: city was at Chicago? I don't know what happened. Somehow
Speaker 1: we got on a connecting flight. First mistake, okay, we
Speaker 1: got weight laid, but we were all traveling together. There's
Speaker 1: a nice, big group of us, so it was like
Speaker 1: I didn't even care about that because we were all together.
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, fine, well this will be an economic trip.
Speaker 1: So we had to lay over I think four hours.
Speaker 1: They said the plane was going to be and we
Speaker 1: were like fun. But then they put us in a
Speaker 1: private room in the lounge, you know, because of the
Speaker 1: celebrity and Housewives of Dubai was premiering. Yeah, and we
Speaker 1: got tons of Starbucks snacks. So so you guys and
Speaker 1: showing me and we were I was like, oh, the
Speaker 1: perfect opportunity for me. To get into this fucking show,
Speaker 1: because honestly, the amount of people that air in my
Speaker 1: life that watch The Housewives franchise, I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: missing Alan on something culturally because you can't relate. I
Speaker 1: can't believe you don't watch it. Because if Recap with
Speaker 1: You could be another podcast, like, it would be amazing,
Speaker 1: I know, and I do feel like when people are
Speaker 1: talking about it, I'm like, funk, who's Felicia you know?
Speaker 1: Or whatever? And even when I did I've done some
Speaker 1: of the Housewives podcast and have had no idea that
Speaker 1: they were housewives. Like my publicist will be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should do this podcast. It's really popular to promote
Speaker 1: something whatever, and I'll go on and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: how do I know that woman? And They're like, well,
Speaker 1: she's a real housewife like garcel I did Garcela do?
Speaker 1: And then like she's on the Housewives. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she was on the reel as well. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: love her and she lives near me. To be fair,
Speaker 1: she has had a lot of things she's for being
Speaker 1: a house yeah. And is she married Garcela? No? Oh?
Speaker 1: Was she married to someone someone else? Yeah? And the
Speaker 1: men are never featured well, New Jersey. The men kind
Speaker 1: of like rule the school, like Frank and Melissa's husband
Speaker 1: Joe Gorga. And you know what I mean, do you
Speaker 1: watch it? I? You know what, I have watched only
Speaker 1: two seasons's watching the Kardashians. She's re watching the Kardashians.
Speaker 1: I did watch the Utah One though. The first season
Speaker 1: of The Utah One, I was into that. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that one was good. The second season is great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my friend works on that show. That's a great franchise.
Speaker 1: Anything moremon adjacent. But Dubai was a bomb. It was
Speaker 1: not good. What's the word? So? I had subsequent episodes
Speaker 1: of Dubaibe be any better. I haven't watched anymore that
Speaker 1: that turned me off so bad. Like that room we
Speaker 1: were sitting in, it might have carpeting, like a conference room.
Speaker 1: How many times I had to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: It was like a corporate conference room. But it was
Speaker 1: great to sit there instead of like covid Ali in
Speaker 1: the airport because we're with someone's faus. I was just
Speaker 1: telling Jackie about Jamie. Sorry, you can call me whatever
Speaker 1: you like, Jackie. I was just like Jamie about I
Speaker 1: got this laser don two weeks ago and I can't
Speaker 1: fill my chin because they whatever they did, I said,
Speaker 1: do a double dose because I was starting to get
Speaker 1: that little, a little bit of it. I was coming
Speaker 1: down from my chin to my neck, and I said,
Speaker 1: just hit me hard with that because they were putting
Speaker 1: me under. So I was like, I don't care about
Speaker 1: the pain level, just fucking get that thing to tighten up.
Speaker 1: And I haven't been able to feel my ships. They
Speaker 1: killed your nerves. I'm like, I went in after it
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't feel anything in this area,
Speaker 1: and he's like, you won't for about three months, three years,
Speaker 1: I know, three years. Like my boobs, there's parts of
Speaker 1: it I don't feel. I had a reduction lift, just
Speaker 1: for everyone out there, and I there's areas of my
Speaker 1: titty I can't feel. Well. You had a reduction lift,
Speaker 1: and interestingly enough, her boobs crew back. You guys, I
Speaker 1: just like to eat and they came all. But this
Speaker 1: is a phenomenon because you are not my first friend
Speaker 1: that has had boob reduction and had the boobs grow back.
Speaker 1: They see that would happened to me because I have
Speaker 1: a weird thing where like my boobs are like goldfish,
Speaker 1: Like if I lose weight, they stay the same size.
Speaker 1: And if I gain weight, they get bigger. So it
Speaker 1: just is like, how is that growing? Uh? They grow
Speaker 1: to the size of their environment. Yeah, and they taste good.
Speaker 1: My kids live on the but look my body. I'm
Speaker 1: going to just show it in the camera. Can say
Speaker 1: like I have Like I don't gain it in my
Speaker 1: in my butt, in my legs, nothing. I gain it
Speaker 1: a little in the hip and all in the tip,
Speaker 1: all on the tip, all on the tip. I just
Speaker 1: I guess it's like because I guess getting a boob
Speaker 1: reduction is like a little bit like getting lightbo suction,
Speaker 1: because when you get those procedures, they have to tell
Speaker 1: you you cannot gain five pounds ever again. Otherwise it's
Speaker 1: going to go straight back to where you where you
Speaker 1: got it. Because I had lightbo done on my arms
Speaker 1: when I was in my twenties, and then it like
Speaker 1: on the back of my arms, you know, and then
Speaker 1: it came around the front like the fat and all right, wait,
Speaker 1: what the fund is it? And they're like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: trans positioning. Yeah, it needs a new place to live.
Speaker 1: To live, Well, you could have told me that in
Speaker 1: the first place. They're like cockroaches that, yeah, you can't
Speaker 1: get food production. You need specific instructions because it doesn't
Speaker 1: make any sense to take them off. You always have
Speaker 1: to go smaller than what you think to account for
Speaker 1: when you gain weight and they come back. The only
Speaker 1: positive is they're very buoyant, like because I got them lifted.
Speaker 1: They're like huge, but they're like they're high and tight,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. They're like a twenty five
Speaker 1: year old. And my one of my friends is like,
Speaker 1: you should start an only fan. So that's the backup
Speaker 1: plan if this makeup thing doesn't work out. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: you already have an only fan, so how would you
Speaker 1: start a new one under a different name and alias?
Speaker 1: Can I plug the only fans? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what we're here for, Jamie. So we're gonna use your
Speaker 1: sagaciousness and great instincts and have you help us give
Speaker 1: advice to be I'm so down. I'm so down. Are
Speaker 1: you going to come to my worka in September? Catherine
Speaker 1: and you're coming? They're yeah, yeah, I have to check.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be fine, but I'm coming. Let's
Speaker 1: come the last week when we're going. But we're yeah,
Speaker 1: we're having the last week, we're having a bunch of
Speaker 1: girls funny, so please I'll no one parties like Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I'm just I want to tell you we have the
Speaker 1: I literally have the best time. Like it's just really fun.
Speaker 1: You're fun person. Yeah, high five. I like to high five. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you're honest too. She'll tell me what I'm being annoying,
Speaker 1: and then I just leave and go watch TV. Well,
Speaker 1: sometimes your marcos are too long, that's true, She's not
Speaker 1: You're not saying anything, just like videotaping yourself like like
Speaker 1: well like only fans. If I wanted to see that,
Speaker 1: I would go on your only fans page. Then just
Speaker 1: go to my own fans. Let's talk anymore. I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna say something or what I'm just like
Speaker 1: videotaping or something like I'm in the shower. It's really
Speaker 1: humid out and um, I have a zip right here
Speaker 1: and my boobs are very big. Anyway, I hope you're
Speaker 1: having a good day. I love you. That's what my
Speaker 1: marcos are. Yours are always quick. Well, I'm going to
Speaker 1: cut this often we're going to go to break Okay, okay, bye,
Speaker 1: that was it. Jamie actually we've done. Okay, just one
Speaker 1: one one segment of the show and we're back. We're back,
Speaker 1: and Jamie, I don't usually do this, but since I
Speaker 1: know you're a fan of the show, and I felt
Speaker 1: like this email was very appropriate. I have a feedback
Speaker 1: email that I'm going to read before we get into
Speaker 1: some questions. You mean you don't normally do this, well,
Speaker 1: not usually. Wall of the guest is here right. Also,
Speaker 1: I do want to say it's so nice to meet
Speaker 1: you because I've been listening to you for months now,
Speaker 1: and really I was talking about you with my husband,
Speaker 1: who works on the show, and I was like, Jamie
Speaker 1: is coming. He's like, do you know her. I'm like no.
Speaker 1: We talked for ten minutes. She's great. Thank you. Yeah, So,
Speaker 1: Michelle says, Dear Chelsea, first huge fan. I had the
Speaker 1: privilege of seeing Chelsea in Seattle in February with my
Speaker 1: childhood best friend. It was our first post pandemic concert
Speaker 1: and it was exactly what a couple of fifty seven
Speaker 1: year old Jewish Jersey girls needed. So that's thank you
Speaker 1: number one. Second thank you as this I was there, Yeah, okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: I listened to whole relationship Red Flags with Julianna Margali's today,
Speaker 1: and it was exactly the advice I needed to convey
Speaker 1: to my twenty eight year old son, who's in a
Speaker 1: relationship with a woman much like the man described in
Speaker 1: the podcast. I basically transcribed the advice and gave it
Speaker 1: to my son to help him see how unhealthy his
Speaker 1: relationship is, and it worked. So thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Nothing brings a parent to their knees more
Speaker 1: than their child in pain, and you truly helped me
Speaker 1: to help my child through and out of something very
Speaker 1: unhealthy and difficult. From one Jersey girl to another, thank
Speaker 1: you for just being you and doing what you do best.
Speaker 1: Miss Oh my god, you have to send that to Julianna.
Speaker 1: Do you have her info? I'll text her. I'll text her,
Speaker 1: but you have to send that to her. She's gonna
Speaker 1: forge that. So, Julianna Margatus, did you. I've never gotten
Speaker 1: more texts and responses in my life about somebody being
Speaker 1: so great on the podcast. She was. I knew nothing
Speaker 1: about her except she's an amazing actress and she is
Speaker 1: so real and cool, and you know what, she's so genuine,
Speaker 1: she's without guile, like she's just very much present and
Speaker 1: like you want her to win. You root for her,
Speaker 1: and she's available for you, like you're talking to her.
Speaker 1: She's present and she's not thinking about anything else and
Speaker 1: just so filled with love. And I think everyone could
Speaker 1: pick up on that. But that's why she had such
Speaker 1: a big impact on her episode. She texted me also, Catherine,
Speaker 1: and said, please let me know if anyone drops out
Speaker 1: last minute. I'm happy to come back any time. I said,
Speaker 1: we love that offer. Yeah, I enjoyed that episode. She
Speaker 1: is amazing. She's so modest, she's so real, she's down
Speaker 1: to earth, and she's just so she see there's something
Speaker 1: ethereal about her. Like looking at her in her face
Speaker 1: and her eyes and how open she is, you just
Speaker 1: feel safe with her and her like buttery voice, very
Speaker 1: different than Martha Stewart. It's a great episode. She tells
Speaker 1: it how it is that Martha poked up on my
Speaker 1: phone that day. I was like, I looked at the phone.
Speaker 1: In the top news story was Martha Stewart wants friends
Speaker 1: to die so she can marry them. It was front
Speaker 1: and center on My People magazine and like little quotable
Speaker 1: quotes I was, it was like, I just want them
Speaker 1: to die. Oh my god, she must have been like funk.
Speaker 1: Why vodka. She doesn't care, She's like says what she wants.
Speaker 1: I know, she's like making a rhubarb pie somewhere. She
Speaker 1: she seems to also be in the moment whatever with
Speaker 1: whatever she's doing. She's in her own special moment. She's
Speaker 1: a gold fish. She doesn't remember anything from the past. Well.
Speaker 1: Our next email comes from Maggie. Maggie is in Reno,
Speaker 1: she says, Dear Chelsea, I live in a small town
Speaker 1: outside of Reno, Nevada, where it's sunny three hundred plus
Speaker 1: days of the year. However, my husband refuses to wear
Speaker 1: a sunscreen. We do a lot of yard work together,
Speaker 1: and he's often out and about with the dogs. He
Speaker 1: usually tans more than burns, but I'm beginning to notice
Speaker 1: age spots on his face that weren't there before. He
Speaker 1: notices them too, but shrugs it off. I know this
Speaker 1: sounds vain, but I'm worried about the effect the sun
Speaker 1: will have on his skin in the long run. After all,
Speaker 1: I'm the one having to look at and kiss him
Speaker 1: every day. Is it unfair of me to insist he
Speaker 1: wears sunscreen? So he doesn't turn into a shriveled piece
Speaker 1: of leather. I've touted all of its health benefits, but
Speaker 1: I'm too afraid to flat out say that. I'm worried
Speaker 1: he's going to look busted by the time we're in
Speaker 1: our seventies. I mean, if he asked me to get
Speaker 1: a boob job, I'd be pretty offended. But this town
Speaker 1: is already full of rednecks, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: be married to one. I'm not sure what to do.
Speaker 1: Am I being too superficial Maggie? Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: she's gonna go in on this the sun damage aspect
Speaker 1: of it, because that's fucked up. First of all, you
Speaker 1: can couch it as protection, like refuses to wear sunblock
Speaker 1: is just stupid, Like there's skin cancer kills. Melanoma is
Speaker 1: like one of the worst worst kind of cancers you
Speaker 1: can get and fatal like hello, So I mean, it's
Speaker 1: not even about vanity. It's about health and protection and no,
Speaker 1: and vanity is there too. You have every right to
Speaker 1: be like, hey, I don't want you to turn into
Speaker 1: a shriveled up raisin. Obviously you don't give a ship,
Speaker 1: which makes me question a lot of things that you
Speaker 1: don't think you should give a shit about the way
Speaker 1: that I feel about how you look, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Obviously, relationships don't have to be based completely
Speaker 1: on that, but it is an element. But the most
Speaker 1: primary reason is to protect yourself from cancer. So if
Speaker 1: if you have a husband that doesn't want to wear
Speaker 1: sunscreen and doesn't think that it's going to affect him
Speaker 1: in any way, then that's a bigger issue. I know
Speaker 1: it is it hiding something else, Like that's just like
Speaker 1: a no brainer. It's like take out the garbage, put
Speaker 1: on the sunscreen. Maybe you need to show him how.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need to reward him like a little baby,
Speaker 1: because sometimes guys need to be like you know, I
Speaker 1: have to make my husband's doctor's appointment sometimes, like I
Speaker 1: have to call or he won't go. It's just part
Speaker 1: of their d n A. So maybe you know, attach
Speaker 1: a reward to it, you know, like when kids are
Speaker 1: trying to learn to potty train. Like I would say,
Speaker 1: fun that you don't need a fucking reward to put
Speaker 1: on sunscreen, you fucking asshole. I think she shows has
Speaker 1: to put it on him. If you have to do
Speaker 1: it yourself, fine, who cares? Like a massage Yeah, give
Speaker 1: him a little face head massage if he's if he's bald,
Speaker 1: that's fun to give him a little bald massage. And
Speaker 1: if he has a hair, just put it on him
Speaker 1: for him. If he and if he doesn't let you
Speaker 1: do that, then I don't even you know. There's a
Speaker 1: deeper Yeah, escape Reno come out here called nine one
Speaker 1: one and that police Academy will show that front door
Speaker 1: with Carrie Kenny silver leading the chest and her best Yeah,
Speaker 1: so non negotiable. Yeah, if he's not willing to do that,
Speaker 1: what else is he not willing to do? Call is
Speaker 1: back when you have a real problem. I mean, these days,
Speaker 1: like some people don't like the texture of SPF or whatever,
Speaker 1: but these days there's all kinds of there's so many
Speaker 1: spfs and there's yes, there's oil, there's tinted they're great,
Speaker 1: and there's ones that you don't feel and they don't
Speaker 1: change your skin. One I like the best is that Alta,
Speaker 1: the tinted moist Alta, dr Alta md no Alta you
Speaker 1: you the beauty oh really also eats your ALTI. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a new one called Vacation that I really like
Speaker 1: because it smells like a vacation and it sheers down.
Speaker 1: I'll get you some. It's really delicious. Yeah, maybe, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe you have to find him something that like smells
Speaker 1: good or beer. Doesn't the bunny ranch make an spfs.
Speaker 1: Oh well let's start there. Well, our next caller, this
Speaker 1: is Nikki. Nikki says Dear Chelsea. I'm a thirty eight
Speaker 1: year old mother of four going through a relatively peaceful divorce.
Speaker 1: I was with my ex for nine years. I've recently
Speaker 1: started using bumble and dipping my toes into the dating pool.
Speaker 1: I'm looking just to get out and have fun, with
Speaker 1: no desire for a serious, long term relationship. I'm writing
Speaker 1: because I keep getting a lot of matches that are
Speaker 1: men ten or more years younger than me. I wasn't
Speaker 1: anticipating this, and I feel predator ish considering I do
Speaker 1: have an eighteen year old son. I know it's a
Speaker 1: mental block for me, and I'm very attracted to several
Speaker 1: of these younger guys, but I'm terrified. I need to
Speaker 1: stop feeling like I'm an old hag and embrace this
Speaker 1: really flattering response. Any tips on how to do that?
Speaker 1: Hi Nikki, Hi Nikki, Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi, My dear friend.
Speaker 1: Jamie's our guest today. She's hi, hi, Hi to Hi Jamie.
Speaker 1: Love your makeup girl. Thank you. How long have you
Speaker 1: been single? First of all, a couple of mon okay.
Speaker 1: And how long was your relationship that you're getting out of?
Speaker 1: Nine years? Okay, well that's pretty quick to be dating.
Speaker 1: Are you ready to be dating? Um? Yeah, well I
Speaker 1: left the relationship five years of that. Yeah, I left
Speaker 1: the relationship mentally a while ago. So yeah, okay, well
Speaker 1: in that case, good for you. Good for you for
Speaker 1: taking leave, taking permanent leave. I don't want that to
Speaker 1: be confused with a leave of absence. And how old
Speaker 1: are you? I'm thirty eight okay, and the gout and
Speaker 1: you have an eighteen year old son, And so the
Speaker 1: guys that are responding are how old? Twenty eight? I
Speaker 1: actually to change the setting because they were as young
Speaker 1: as twenty because I couldn't oh younger than that at all. No,
Speaker 1: that's good, I actually think and eighteen is close. I mean,
Speaker 1: I do think you do need to consider your son's age.
Speaker 1: I think that as a mother, like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. You're setting him up for the rest of
Speaker 1: his life, so everything you do is going to have
Speaker 1: an impact on him, and that's something to always keep
Speaker 1: in mind. I know you need to get some action,
Speaker 1: so I want that to happen as well, but in
Speaker 1: a way that you can have all situations working in
Speaker 1: your favor. I would even say might be a little
Speaker 1: bit too close to eighteen because it's closer to his
Speaker 1: age than it is to yours. So exactly, I maybe
Speaker 1: like bump, but let's bump that age right. Thirties young too.
Speaker 1: I mean you're thirty five, I'm thirty eight. Yeah, bump
Speaker 1: it up to thirty. Let's do that. That's enough of
Speaker 1: an age difference. It's more of an age difference between
Speaker 1: your son and him. And then do you like older
Speaker 1: guys at all? Or no, you're only in the younger guys.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty open. I date older. My husband that we're
Speaker 1: getting a divorce is four years younger than me, So
Speaker 1: I've kind of been all over the place. What is
Speaker 1: you do? Have a cap on your age setting? Is okay?
Speaker 1: Maybe go sixty girl, get freaky. I worked with senior citizens.
Speaker 1: That's too too close to them. You just have sex
Speaker 1: with those people. I want to get fired. Sure, how's
Speaker 1: it been? How's your dating experience been? Have you been
Speaker 1: having a lot of fun. Yes, And actually, like, I
Speaker 1: went on a date last night with someone like ten
Speaker 1: years older than me, but the best date I've been on.
Speaker 1: I went on a date one date with a year
Speaker 1: old and it was the best date I've been on. Oh,
Speaker 1: what was so great about it? He actually wanted to
Speaker 1: hear what I had to say. It sound me interesting.
Speaker 1: And we just walked on the beach at night. It
Speaker 1: was just pleasant and nice. Yeah, it was just great.
Speaker 1: It's so funny you say that because my girlfriend in
Speaker 1: Vancouver was on this thread with my girlfriends from Canada
Speaker 1: and she went out with a guy last night and
Speaker 1: she goes, I don't understand what the fund is wrong
Speaker 1: with Ben. He has not asked me one fucking question
Speaker 1: about myself. She's in the bathroom. She's like, I'd rather
Speaker 1: be in the bathroom Marco poloing with you guys, then
Speaker 1: fucking sitting here listen to this asshole talk about himself.
Speaker 1: She's like, he did not ask me one question. And
Speaker 1: this brings me to another point that my girlfriend said
Speaker 1: her brother works at a bar. He's like in his
Speaker 1: thirties in New York City, and he said, oh, all
Speaker 1: girls under the age of thirty are bisexual now, all
Speaker 1: of them because men are so disgusting and terrible that
Speaker 1: they've all turned inward. You know, they're all like, we're
Speaker 1: open to women too, because and it's so interesting you
Speaker 1: say that a younger guy asked you about yourself, because
Speaker 1: younger men, this next generation, whatever that generation is called,
Speaker 1: what is that generation Z? They're the people that understand
Speaker 1: the situation about how like everything is shifting and moving,
Speaker 1: and they understand you do need to ask women about themselves.
Speaker 1: You do need to ask questions. Your moms are doing
Speaker 1: a better job and raising them, you know, so listen,
Speaker 1: just use that as a template for like the fact
Speaker 1: that you know what you're looking for, Like that day
Speaker 1: to have it in the first place was great because
Speaker 1: now you know, you want to have somebody that's going
Speaker 1: to be interested in you, and you're gonna be able
Speaker 1: to find that above thirty, I agree. I hope you
Speaker 1: will will. Yeah. You're fun, you look intell, cool glasses,
Speaker 1: great tasks. Thank you. Yeah, go have fun this live
Speaker 1: your best life. Do you You have the freedom to
Speaker 1: fucking do whatever you want with whomever you want. Now
Speaker 1: over thirty, that's your one car ground. Try it alright, alright, alright, appreciate,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Let us know how it goes. That's funny.
Speaker 1: I can see why younger guys are into her because
Speaker 1: she's like vibrant, Like you said, she's got this cool tattoos.
Speaker 1: She's stylish, you know, I can see it. It's funny though,
Speaker 1: when you think about the age immediately, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, the age has to be closer to you
Speaker 1: than to your son, right, and mean, well, who the
Speaker 1: funk am I to say that? But I just think
Speaker 1: that's the right way. I think it's the right way too.
Speaker 1: I'm like, uncomfortable being in an elevator with somebody to you, like,
Speaker 1: of the opposite sex. I'm like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: make eye contact with m. I just don't want anything
Speaker 1: to do with it. I get very uncomfortable if I
Speaker 1: feel like a young boy is floating with me. Yes,
Speaker 1: I don't like I've got into young at all. I've
Speaker 1: never been no me neither. I mean, I guess when
Speaker 1: I'm older, I will be No. I think you'll still
Speaker 1: be going for the older. I'll probably be pound. Let's
Speaker 1: be honest, But it turned into a full time pussy pounder.
Speaker 1: We all are moving on. Our next question. Is that
Speaker 1: a flask, Chelsea? No, it's a it's a chia. It's
Speaker 1: like an antioxidant concentrated superfoods that I suck at out
Speaker 1: of this little What is this called a pouch? Ouch?
Speaker 1: Thank you? I knew a mother would know. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: burp her. Now explain well. Our next call comes from
Speaker 1: Brooke Brook, says dear Chelsea. I'm thirty five years old,
Speaker 1: a freelance writer, and I live in your home state
Speaker 1: of New Jersey. I promise this is not all just
Speaker 1: email from journeys from New Jersey too. Well, my family
Speaker 1: is Elizabeth. Oh that's right, you're not really. I love
Speaker 1: your podcast and listen to it every day while I
Speaker 1: walk my big fluffy dog. I could use your advice
Speaker 1: after a traumatic experience. By the way, this is a
Speaker 1: little bit long, but it's because we have an update
Speaker 1: from her. I was twelve weeks pregnant with my first
Speaker 1: pregnancy when I had a miscarriage. My husband and I
Speaker 1: were super excited to be parents and absolutely devastated when
Speaker 1: we lost the baby. As I write this, it's been
Speaker 1: seven weeks since I had the miscarriage and no matter
Speaker 1: how much positivity I try to channel, it wasn't meant
Speaker 1: to be. My life is still abundant without a baby,
Speaker 1: et cetera. I cannot stop going down negative spirals of
Speaker 1: how there is a chance I'll never be a mother.
Speaker 1: It consumes me and is bringing my husband down. I've
Speaker 1: tried gratitude, journaling every morning, charging crystals under the moon,
Speaker 1: writing down affirmations, and no matter what I do, I
Speaker 1: have this sinking fear that I'll never have a baby again.
Speaker 1: I know that you have no desire to be a mother,
Speaker 1: but any advice on how to reframe the narrative into
Speaker 1: a positive so I can move on? And so then
Speaker 1: she sent an update while we were getting scheduled. A
Speaker 1: recent update. I just found out a week ago that
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant again. I am, of course, so thrilled and
Speaker 1: grateful I was able to conceive again, but I'm so
Speaker 1: terrified of having another miscarriage that it consumes my thoughts.
Speaker 1: That sinking feeling of never being a mother again that
Speaker 1: I mentioned in my first email, It's still very much there,
Speaker 1: It's just taken a different form. I cry almost every
Speaker 1: day and have had anxiety dreams, fearing that the most
Speaker 1: traumatic thing that's ever happened to me is going to
Speaker 1: happen again. Weirdly enough, that jealousy I have of other
Speaker 1: new mothers and pregnant women is still here too. I'm
Speaker 1: jealous that they're excited and planning baby showers when I'm
Speaker 1: crippled by anxiety and find myself almost waiting for the
Speaker 1: other shoe to drop. I really do not want this
Speaker 1: to turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. My husband does
Speaker 1: his best to reassure me, but the reality is he
Speaker 1: doesn't know that everything will be okay. Physically bleeding out
Speaker 1: your baby after seeing its heartbeat on screen is not
Speaker 1: something a man can fully comprehend. He lost his first
Speaker 1: child too, but my anxiety of that happening again runs
Speaker 1: far deeper than his. I know that it's not good
Speaker 1: for me, the baby, or my marriage. Please help Brook.
Speaker 1: Hi Brook, Hi Chelsea, how are you hi? This is
Speaker 1: my good friend, Jamie Greenberg. She's our guest today. She's
Speaker 1: my makeup artist and buddy. Hi Jamie, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 1: So good to meet you? You too? You are a mother,
Speaker 1: So why don't you speak to this first before I
Speaker 1: weigh in? Okay? So first, of all i've I've also
Speaker 1: had miscarriages. My first time I was pregnant, I had
Speaker 1: a miscarriage, and I know exactly how you feel. And
Speaker 1: it is a death and there is grief. You seem
Speaker 1: to be paralyzed by the grief. The thing about children.
Speaker 1: When you have a child, I mean, your mind is
Speaker 1: always going to go to a dark place, and you
Speaker 1: have to start now while you're preparing to train your
Speaker 1: brain not to be like, well, if they sleep out,
Speaker 1: they're gonna die. If they drink that, they're gonna die.
Speaker 1: If they go on the field trip, they're gonna crash.
Speaker 1: Because you won't live. You're you're pretty much a prisoner
Speaker 1: of fear. So I don't know if there's a therapist
Speaker 1: that you could get into some therapy, or if there
Speaker 1: is like a light antidepressant you could take. It's amazing
Speaker 1: what antidepressants could do. Some of them you can take
Speaker 1: when you're pregnant. Some you can't think, So maybe you
Speaker 1: could take I don't know. I'm not a doctor, but
Speaker 1: I am, and you should talk to your doctor about
Speaker 1: what would be good, what would be best for you.
Speaker 1: Anti anxiety sounds like too, you know not, And I
Speaker 1: mean because You're anxious. That's what this is, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: which can present as depression. But you're just nervous, which
Speaker 1: is so normal. I mean, do you know how I'm
Speaker 1: common this is with women? Yeah, it's apparently it's one
Speaker 1: in four pregnancies and in miscarriage, which is unbelievable, but
Speaker 1: it's crazy. I've had three miscarriages, Brooke, Wow, so it
Speaker 1: can happen again. But it's okay and it's normal. And
Speaker 1: that's what my doctor said. Your body is doing its job.
Speaker 1: That baby wasn't meant to be here because of whatever reason.
Speaker 1: You want to healthy baby, and your body is doing
Speaker 1: its job. So I know it's really hard to switch
Speaker 1: that and like just say thank you to yourself, but
Speaker 1: you have to start getting into that mind space. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be such a better wife, mother and human because
Speaker 1: you are also yourself. You're not just a wife and
Speaker 1: a mother, You're you and you have to treat yourself good,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, And I think you should wake up
Speaker 1: every day and just write down fifteen times in a row,
Speaker 1: thank you for this pregnancy, thank you for this pregnancy,
Speaker 1: thank you for this pregnancy, and you know, to just
Speaker 1: change the drumbeat that's going on in your head and
Speaker 1: shift the narrative because you do have the power to
Speaker 1: do that, you really do. There's plenty of meditation apps
Speaker 1: that are gonna have be pregnancy specific, to calm down
Speaker 1: your nerves, to calm your anxiety, to take it down,
Speaker 1: and to be grateful instead of fearful. They talk about
Speaker 1: how gratitude leads to abundance. That's true. Your attitude does matter,
Speaker 1: and it's not like your anxiety is going to kill
Speaker 1: your baby. But it's not helping anything, and it's certainly
Speaker 1: not helping you. So why not just figure out all
Speaker 1: the tools that you can, you know, access and look online.
Speaker 1: Now everything is online, like these pregnancy support groups people
Speaker 1: who have had miscarriage support groups. Just google that and
Speaker 1: you're gonna find a bunch of women that feel exactly
Speaker 1: that the way that you do. That also are going
Speaker 1: to have tools and coping mechanisms that you may not
Speaker 1: know about. It's so true. I mean the first miscarriage
Speaker 1: I had, I had something called a mular pregnancy. Google it.
Speaker 1: It's a whole thing. Anyway. I was had never heard
Speaker 1: of it before, and I remember I went on like
Speaker 1: Oprah's website. This was before christ I went on Oprah's
Speaker 1: website and was like, you should have a show about
Speaker 1: Muller pregnancies. And I was like so depressed. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was a death. I know how you feel. And
Speaker 1: I found this weird chat room in London in the UK,
Speaker 1: and everybody there had gone through what I had gone through,
Speaker 1: and we all like emailed each other and gave each
Speaker 1: other tips and tricks, and it made me feel not alone.
Speaker 1: You're not alone. And no one talks about this because
Speaker 1: it's you just don't want to go around talking about
Speaker 1: death all the time. But it's so common. It's more
Speaker 1: common having a healthy pregnancy sometimes, you know, so figure
Speaker 1: out what you need to do to get happy, because
Speaker 1: it's just gonna it's gonna dictate how everything else goes. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I think the big thing I've been struggling with is
Speaker 1: I do try really hard to be positive and I
Speaker 1: do my journaling every morning. I Chelsea, I like your
Speaker 1: idea of maybe being repetitive about the one thing that's
Speaker 1: really on my mind. So I definitely would like to
Speaker 1: try that. But it's almost like I say things like
Speaker 1: I will have a baby, everything will be fine, and
Speaker 1: I want to do that I really want to believe it,
Speaker 1: and then there's like this little voice in my head
Speaker 1: that's like do I believe that? What if that's not true?
Speaker 1: And then it's sort of like I go back into
Speaker 1: the spiral. So do you have any tips for that? Well,
Speaker 1: we all have that voice that's like the devil on
Speaker 1: our shoulder. It's called our shadow. That's what like the
Speaker 1: where our bad thoughts come from. And pushing that away
Speaker 1: you have to acknowledge that, you know, that's not your
Speaker 1: that's not who you are, that is a part of you.
Speaker 1: We all have a shadow. We all have someone telling
Speaker 1: us we're not good enough, we're not smart enough. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna get this. Everything's gonna fall to ship. You're
Speaker 1: gonna lose this, You're gonna lose that, You're gonna run
Speaker 1: out of money, and then you're gonna you know, each
Speaker 1: it and die. Everyone has that voice. You're not the
Speaker 1: only person that has it. The difference that you could
Speaker 1: make in your own life is by saying like, that's
Speaker 1: my voice, that's my shadow, that's it, I have it.
Speaker 1: You can hear that once in a while, but you
Speaker 1: can't let it run you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You're in charge of you, not that little voice in
Speaker 1: your head, you know. And the minute you let that
Speaker 1: voice take over, and it's the only way that you think,
Speaker 1: you know, even that's salvageable, you can even still get
Speaker 1: back from that, but then you've lost your voice, which
Speaker 1: is the big voice. That's the little voice, and you're
Speaker 1: the big voice, and you have to just be in charge,
Speaker 1: you know. And even if it's a matter of repeating
Speaker 1: that exercise, you know, writing it down fifteen times, if
Speaker 1: you feel like that does something for you, then every
Speaker 1: time you feel like that voice is overpowering you, you
Speaker 1: can do that. You should start meditating, because that is
Speaker 1: quieting of the mind. And what meditation does for me
Speaker 1: is always quiet that voice. It always just like puts
Speaker 1: me in touch with earth, the reason that I'm here,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like my body, and it's like,
Speaker 1: stop thinking about all the little little negative things. Just
Speaker 1: connect with the fact that you're here on earth and
Speaker 1: you're a living, breathing person and you have an impact
Speaker 1: on people. Mm hmmm. Yeah. I actually tried meditation for
Speaker 1: the first time yesterday and I really enjoyed it. And
Speaker 1: some what you just said about feeling like you have
Speaker 1: an impact on people. I've been trying really hard to
Speaker 1: actually find the positive of what happened, because that was
Speaker 1: kind of making me feel better, like maybe it happened
Speaker 1: for a reason. And even something like this of having
Speaker 1: the opportunity to share my story and connect with other
Speaker 1: women because I know there's so many women suffering in silence,
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like maybe I can help other
Speaker 1: people feel better too. Great. There you go. That's the
Speaker 1: first that's going to get you out of your own
Speaker 1: head right away. When you're talking to other people about
Speaker 1: their stuff, you don't have the time for your negative thoughts.
Speaker 1: And I love that you said you love meditating, because
Speaker 1: sometimes for people it takes so long to love it.
Speaker 1: So that use that as a science to start implementing
Speaker 1: that into your daily life. Meditate every morning when you
Speaker 1: wake up, do a gratitude meditation for where you are now.
Speaker 1: You are going to be able to help people. I
Speaker 1: believe that just you calling is helping somebody listening. That's
Speaker 1: very true, and that makes me feel a lot better.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah you got this, Brook. I would also
Speaker 1: recommend just specifically around your body. You're going through a
Speaker 1: trauma that is body related and it probably feels like
Speaker 1: your body betrayed you. One of my mentors that always said,
Speaker 1: if you're going through a trauma or a grief, triple
Speaker 1: yourself care and for you, I think doing stuff that
Speaker 1: specifically as around your body. Taking long baths if that's
Speaker 1: your thing, doing like a luxurious scrub, going to get
Speaker 1: a massage, doing things to to treat your body in
Speaker 1: a way that makes you feel valued and good and
Speaker 1: indulgent and positive about your body. Again, my be something
Speaker 1: that's really helpful. That's a really good to chime in. Last. Also,
Speaker 1: just because I've done this and I've I've done I've
Speaker 1: had a lot of medical things within my family, you
Speaker 1: have to be your own advocate. You know, it's really crazy,
Speaker 1: but there's no gynecologist that's gonna say, hey, sorry about
Speaker 1: your miscarriage. Here is a list of things that it's
Speaker 1: going to make you feel better, and you should probably
Speaker 1: go do this, and you should do that. You're gonna
Speaker 1: have to seek it out and find what makes you
Speaker 1: feel better, if that's acupuncture, meditation, getting on antidepressants, taking
Speaker 1: a job. I run. I run my anxiety every day
Speaker 1: and that works. So stay busy when you're feeling the
Speaker 1: most paralyzed because it's going to take your mind and
Speaker 1: that ego voice out of controlling you, you know, find
Speaker 1: out what Brook likes and take care of yourself because
Speaker 1: no one is going to help you do that. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I've been loving walking my dog every day and listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast'll see. I love that. I do want
Speaker 1: to tell you. Actually I let Katherine know this, but
Speaker 1: the first time I ever listened to your podcast was
Speaker 1: actually when I came back from the hospital after it
Speaker 1: happened and I had to go walk my dog and
Speaker 1: I usually listened to True crime, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't do that right now, Like I need something funny,
Speaker 1: and I you know, I read all your books and
Speaker 1: I loved them, and I was like, I wonder if
Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler has a podcast, and you did, and I've
Speaker 1: listened to it every day since and I'm I love
Speaker 1: it obviously. I love how it's funny but positive and uplifting.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for helping me get through
Speaker 1: that really hard time. Oh my god, I'm looking now
Speaker 1: you're on the podcast. I know it's crazy. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that you are going to help people.
Speaker 1: I can see it. You are, Yeah, and good luck
Speaker 1: with everything. Everything's gonna be fine. Thank you, Everything's gonna
Speaker 1: be okay. I needed to hear that. Thank you all right,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Brooke, keep us posted. Okay, thank
Speaker 1: you guys. Bye, Brook, bye bye. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: Oh so sweetly love that. I was about to announce
Speaker 1: your miscarriages for you, and I was like, let me
Speaker 1: let Jamie actually speak to that, because miscarriages. I've had three. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a lot devastating. Were they all as devastating as
Speaker 1: the first one? I mean they're all devastating, but the
Speaker 1: first one was like, it's because you don't have any kids,
Speaker 1: so you think something's wrong. I'm never gonna have kids.
Speaker 1: I felt the same way she did. And now look
Speaker 1: I have three kids and I run away from them exactly. Book.
Speaker 1: You're going to be there soon. Yeah, you'll be in
Speaker 1: Italy soon. Brook. Would you like to come to Spain?
Speaker 1: We have an opening. I feel like there is this
Speaker 1: to me, It feels dated. Advice of like don't tell
Speaker 1: anybody until the second trimester because what if something happens.
Speaker 1: But what that then does is leave women in this
Speaker 1: position where if they do miscarry, their completely alone, their
Speaker 1: families don't know what they're going through. What do you
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts about that? I mean, I think
Speaker 1: you're right. I think that's like an old way of thinking.
Speaker 1: It's like don't say the sea word or don't tell anyone. No,
Speaker 1: you need your support system, you need your friends. I
Speaker 1: was a blabber mouth. I would tell I'd be like,
Speaker 1: my husband would be like, don't tell anyone. I'm like okay,
Speaker 1: and I'd like tell ten of my friends. And then
Speaker 1: when I had the miscarriage, I had those ten friends
Speaker 1: to support me rather than having to tell the story again.
Speaker 1: It's like, if people are in your life, they're in
Speaker 1: your life for everything, not just like the good news. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's also yeah, it's also a great way to wead
Speaker 1: people out if they're not there for you. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm all about sharing everything. One of the best things
Speaker 1: in life to learn is to ask for help, because
Speaker 1: people really want to give it, and there's no shortage
Speaker 1: of that. Even though if you even though you know
Speaker 1: you may think, oh, people are selfish, they're not interested,
Speaker 1: they're too busy. People want to be there for you.
Speaker 1: I I want to be there for strangers, so I
Speaker 1: know that this is true for so many people that
Speaker 1: want to help, and you know, asking for help is
Speaker 1: just like such a lift off of your shoulders. It
Speaker 1: feels so good to get love back when you need
Speaker 1: it in those dark times. Agree well, Our last question
Speaker 1: comes from a. A says Dear Chelsea. I'm hoping you
Speaker 1: can offer advice on how to get started with therapy,
Speaker 1: not the finding the therapist part, but how to actually
Speaker 1: talk with someone. I don't exactly know what I want
Speaker 1: to work on or where to begin, but I definitely
Speaker 1: know that I do have things to work on and
Speaker 1: to work through. I have a lot of unresolved childhood
Speaker 1: trauma and complex parent relationships still lingering, and I mostly
Speaker 1: shove them down and try to ignore it. Up to
Speaker 1: this point. I've self medicated quote unquote with self help
Speaker 1: books and podcasts, but my experiences are pretty unique, and
Speaker 1: I know one to one therapy would be beneficial to
Speaker 1: me at this point, But how do I start? For years,
Speaker 1: I put off therapy because I felt like I couldn't
Speaker 1: afford it or access it. But I can no longer
Speaker 1: use that excuse. I think what truly holds me back
Speaker 1: is just nervousness around getting started and facing it. Like
Speaker 1: where do you begin the initial consultation, the first meeting
Speaker 1: with your therapist. I find that part to be the
Speaker 1: most daunting. I just freeze at the thought of it.
Speaker 1: Please help a well, okay, she or he said that
Speaker 1: they didn't want, they didn't need to know how to
Speaker 1: find a therapist, right, they just how to start. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll say this to you. Listen like this is a
Speaker 1: bit a big topic of conversation in my life for
Speaker 1: a long time. That you are postponing your true purpose
Speaker 1: and potential when you do not look inward, when you
Speaker 1: are put off facing what is has happened to you,
Speaker 1: and something has happened to every single person, you are
Speaker 1: postponing your true potential. You don't even know what is
Speaker 1: on the other side. And yes it is it's a
Speaker 1: daunting task, but you're courageous and your brave when you
Speaker 1: take that step. I won't ever date somebody who isn't
Speaker 1: in therapy or has been to therapy because it is
Speaker 1: such a valuable tool. You are going to learn skill
Speaker 1: sets that you didn't even think you needed to have.
Speaker 1: And you're not only going to better yourself, you're gonna
Speaker 1: better your relationship with people, and you're gonna better your
Speaker 1: understanding of other people, and your life is going to
Speaker 1: be richer. And that takes a little bit of work,
Speaker 1: and you have to be willing to commit to going
Speaker 1: and doing that work. And being honest with somebody is
Speaker 1: going to lighten your load. Getting things off your chest
Speaker 1: that have been stirring and harming you emotionally in ways
Speaker 1: that are seen and unseen. And talking about that with
Speaker 1: somebody a professional does wonders for your psychology. It helps
Speaker 1: you in ways that are immeasurable. And I can't say
Speaker 1: it enough that you know, get started now right away.
Speaker 1: Go find somebody, and if that's not the right person,
Speaker 1: then go find another person. But do not be You
Speaker 1: have to be indefatigable in your pursuit of your therapy.
Speaker 1: You have to go for it, like go be brave.
Speaker 1: Just think about that. Do you want to be brave
Speaker 1: or do you want to be a pussy? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: do you want to like reap the rewards of how
Speaker 1: good your life can get by you know, getting through
Speaker 1: all the dark stuff, getting through the muck. You The
Speaker 1: only person in your way is you. And like you said,
Speaker 1: I do think that's good to point out, is that
Speaker 1: sometimes the therapist. You go too, might not be right
Speaker 1: for you. It's like dating. So find one that you
Speaker 1: feel really completely yourself with that you can strip down
Speaker 1: all this trauma, get it out. You'll flourish like a flower.
Speaker 1: You need you need to do it. And we only
Speaker 1: have one life here, so don't waste any more time.
Speaker 1: That's right. People are dying every day, every day, so
Speaker 1: good to therapy today. Well let's take a quick break
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back with Jamie Greenberg and Chelsea.
Speaker 1: And we're back, Jamie Petter under we're back on. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Jamie Brad you can come back it now. Sorry, Well, Jamie,
Speaker 1: is there any advice you'd like to get from Chelsea?
Speaker 1: I do have a juicy question. How do you make
Speaker 1: your motster ball soup? No, that's not it. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is a good one I was thinking about. I was
Speaker 1: talking about with my girlfriends from high school and I
Speaker 1: was in New York. So I have a friend. Well
Speaker 1: it's it's a sister of one of my friends from
Speaker 1: high school. She is in her early thirties, she's single,
Speaker 1: and she is dating an ex boyfriend of hers that
Speaker 1: she dated in her twenties and now a decade and
Speaker 1: a half have gone by. She's dating him again on
Speaker 1: the side, but he is married with a child, and
Speaker 1: he's miserable in his marriage and the wife is miserable,
Speaker 1: and she feels like it's not that big of a
Speaker 1: deal because they had a past and they're both miserable.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's still dicey, and she's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what to tell you. Let me ask Chelsea, Jared, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: what do you think? I mean? It's so it's like
Speaker 1: if I was if I was more at the store,
Speaker 1: I would say, I hope that that woman passes away
Speaker 1: soon so I can marry her. In a nice, delicate way,
Speaker 1: I think that it's just not good vibrations to be
Speaker 1: participating in an affair. That's what you're doing. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter how miserable either of those people are. He can
Speaker 1: leave his wife and end his marriage, and he should
Speaker 1: if he's so unhappy. And also, I understand you have
Speaker 1: a history with him, so that gives you a little
Speaker 1: bit like I know psychologically what you're saying to yourself,
Speaker 1: Like he was mine before he was hers, and we
Speaker 1: have a history. It's still not right morally, you can
Speaker 1: control yourself. He got a little taste of what could happen,
Speaker 1: right if he wants to leave his wife and start
Speaker 1: a life with you. So it's out there, he knows,
Speaker 1: and you should draw that delineation and line in the
Speaker 1: sand and say, like, listen, I'll be with you, but
Speaker 1: I can't have an affair with you while you're married anymore.
Speaker 1: It's just not who I want to be, and especially
Speaker 1: if there's a future ahead for both of you, that's
Speaker 1: not who you want him to be. That is great advice. Yes,
Speaker 1: great advice. I just dropped the bike, did hear it? Yes?
Speaker 1: Put in this past. I was in the pouch, so
Speaker 1: you might not have heard of the liquid Mike. Actually,
Speaker 1: before we go, Jamie, can I ask you a makeup
Speaker 1: questions struggled with forever. I fancy myself pretty good with makeup,
Speaker 1: but whenever I put on mascara, I always get mascara
Speaker 1: on my lid. As I'm putting it on, it swipes,
Speaker 1: It ruins my eyeshadow. My whole situation. What do I do?
Speaker 1: There's two things you can do, well, there's three things
Speaker 1: you could do. The first is slow down, make your
Speaker 1: makeup time and meditation. Honey, slow down, relax. It's part
Speaker 1: of the self care. I know we don't have time
Speaker 1: for that. So if you're not going to do that,
Speaker 1: the second thing you could do is actually take something
Speaker 1: like a credit card or a super food pouch, put
Speaker 1: it behind on top of your eyes like this, you
Speaker 1: put it, you lay it on top of your eyelid,
Speaker 1: and then you brush your mascara against the card or
Speaker 1: the super food pouch. And can you do that with
Speaker 1: like a Q tip to just put like a que tip,
Speaker 1: put a cute tip, yes, and then I can just
Speaker 1: in case you don't have a credit card or a
Speaker 1: superfood couch in your bathroom or a business card. I
Speaker 1: always have credit cards in my bathrooms. Lastly, this is
Speaker 1: a great trick. Do your masscarra and then wait till
Speaker 1: it completely dries. And if you take an empty SPOOLI
Speaker 1: which is usually on the end of like an eyebrow pencil,
Speaker 1: those little spoolies, you can actually chip away and the
Speaker 1: mass scarrow will flake right off. Most people go in
Speaker 1: and then they try to take it off and they
Speaker 1: smear it and then you have a mess. If you
Speaker 1: actually wait for it to dry, you can just chip
Speaker 1: it off. Wow. Wait what you know, what's funny. I've
Speaker 1: done it to Chelsea before because we have issues with
Speaker 1: my eyes. Jamie and I have issues. She likes to
Speaker 1: I like to get her smoky. She's got her signature look.
Speaker 1: She likes to put eyeliner on the inside of my
Speaker 1: eyes all the way down to here so that I
Speaker 1: look cross side when I take picture. Yes, I was like, hey, Jamie,
Speaker 1: I should have a picture. I go, I don't want
Speaker 1: to ever look like this again, Okay. And now when
Speaker 1: I asked herre she's like, you said you didn't like yep, yep.
Speaker 1: She's got her signature look. And every once in a
Speaker 1: while we'll pop a little color in the eyeline or something.
Speaker 1: But besides that, she knows what she likes and she's
Speaker 1: sticking with it. But one time I did get a
Speaker 1: little mascara on your eyelid. But if you wait, and
Speaker 1: then I like, was like sorry, and I just scraped
Speaker 1: it away. It just it just flecks right off like
Speaker 1: dry paint. You know, dry paint. How you can just
Speaker 1: kind of like yeah, yeah, and do you put your
Speaker 1: mascara on from that? You don't do it from the
Speaker 1: top of the la because if you want to get
Speaker 1: more mascara on your eyelid, that would be a good approach. Also,
Speaker 1: straight in your mouth as wide as you can when
Speaker 1: you're putting on your mascara. Why do we do that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. This lighting is next level awesome. Look
Speaker 1: at your Claudia Shiffer. I'm sitting next and you did
Speaker 1: your makeup? Did somebody else do your make up? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll kill him. Cut a bit like in softball. Okay, Well, Jamie,
Speaker 1: I love you. Come back and visit us. Okay, I
Speaker 1: think you should be a regular. I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Okay, Jamie makeup at Jamie Makeup.
Speaker 1: You guys, go get some bloss blighter and make sure
Speaker 1: you support planned parenthood. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea,
Speaker 1: just send us an email at Dear Chelsea Project at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. You're Chelsea is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law,
Speaker 1: and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.