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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An I

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Speaker 1: Heart radio podcast. Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in and

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Speaker 1: this is our last as far as I know, our

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Speaker 1: last episode of the year, and Tanya is out. Tanya

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Speaker 1: is on vacation. But I have an amazing co host.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited that she is scrubbing in with me today.

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Speaker 1: It is Brandy Cyrus. Hello. Hello. We were just saying

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen you since been in Jessic's wedding, and

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Speaker 1: I know, which kind of seems like yesterday in your way,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was like, you know, just a couple

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Speaker 1: of months ago in November, but yeah, no, it was

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Speaker 1: over a year ago, a whole year ago. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was nuts. How are you? What's what's new for you?

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Speaker 1: You know what? I kind of feel like things are

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Speaker 1: exactly the same as the last time I saw you,

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Speaker 1: except last time I saw you, I had laryngitis. Do

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Speaker 1: you remember that? And I can't really talk. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I had my voice back, which is great news. It

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Speaker 1: took a whole year, but we made it, but we're here. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it was like freezing cold, and I remember thinking

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Speaker 1: as I was like listening to you talk I was like,

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Speaker 1: this probably isn't good for the already laryngitis situation that

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Speaker 1: she has. Go it wasn't. I also was just so

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Speaker 1: terrified that everyone there would think I had COVID and

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Speaker 1: like avoid me like the plague. But for that wedding,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. I don't know if everybody had to test,

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Speaker 1: but I did test just to make sure, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, guys, it's not COVID, I promised, but it

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Speaker 1: surprisingly everyone was nobody like, nobody like steered clear of me.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it was except wells Well was the

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Speaker 1: only one, was the only one that was like a

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Speaker 1: little skeptical of me. He was like, you're He was like,

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Speaker 1: this does not sound good. I'm not. He was like,

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Speaker 1: I love you, but no, Um, well, what has happened

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Speaker 1: since I last saw you? What? Oh my gosh? What

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Speaker 1: I want to say? I don't know if you've talked

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Speaker 1: about this publicly, so if you haven't, we can just

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Speaker 1: cut this out. But I want to say you had

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Speaker 1: just gotten out of a relationship. When I saw you,

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Speaker 1: it was like recently out of a relationship was like

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Speaker 1: semi recent, So um, I guess that relationship ended in

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Speaker 1: like March of that year. Okay, so it had been

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Speaker 1: a while. It kind of had been a while, but

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Speaker 1: it was one of those that still sometimes it still

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Speaker 1: does feel kind of fresh, you know, just depending on

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Speaker 1: how I feel, I guess, um, but yeah, it's you know,

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Speaker 1: I heard somewhere that it takes you as long as

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Speaker 1: you dated somebody to really be over it and healed

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Speaker 1: from it, and to like, if you date somebody for

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Speaker 1: a year, it takes you a year to really be

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Speaker 1: like healed and moved on. If you date somebody for

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Speaker 1: a month takes months kind of thing. And I kind

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Speaker 1: of really agree with that, uh, I really do. And

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Speaker 1: it's like you can go months thinking you're fine, you're healed,

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Speaker 1: and you're moved on, and then like something can trigger

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Speaker 1: you and you can kind of go right back to zero.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's just tough. And that relationship was a

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Speaker 1: long one. It was like two and a half years. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so it's been a year and a half. Yeah, about

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Speaker 1: a year and a half. And I don't me wrong,

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Speaker 1: Like I feel pretty healed and everything, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna lie, Like there are times where I kind of regress,

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Speaker 1: and the holidays do it to me a little bit

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Speaker 1: because he did spend Christmas together when he moved over

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Speaker 1: here and moved in with me, and he was spent

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Speaker 1: Christmas with my whole family, and um, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I was kind of the last normal Christmas I've had

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Speaker 1: because then, um, you know, my parents are divorced now,

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Speaker 1: so like that has definitely played into how the holidays are.

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Speaker 1: And I live in Tennessee. Half the family does in California,

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Speaker 1: so Taytormiss and Weather we all get to be together. Um,

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Speaker 1: so the holidays are kind of tough. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that the Haley and I were talking about

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Speaker 1: this recently about how like the holidays can bring so

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Speaker 1: much joy and they can also bring like such a

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Speaker 1: hard sense of like just like hard feelings too that

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Speaker 1: come with it. And I was talking to one of

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Speaker 1: my friends who is single, and she was just saying,

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Speaker 1: like this time of years like the hardest for her

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Speaker 1: and as far as like being single, because she's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm watching everyone like celebrate together and I don't live

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Speaker 1: close to my family, so I feel like I don't

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Speaker 1: see them until like right at Christmas, and it's just

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Speaker 1: like a lonely season. But um, I do feel like

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Speaker 1: being like getting out of a relationship. I I always

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Speaker 1: think to myself, if Haley and I ever broke up

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, I don't know that I would ever

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Speaker 1: fully get over her, Like I really don't know that

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Speaker 1: I would ever like even if something horrible happened and

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Speaker 1: she did something horrible to me, I just don't know

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Speaker 1: that I would ever get over it because she's like

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Speaker 1: my first love. So were you would you consider him

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Speaker 1: your first love? Did you have relationships before that you

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Speaker 1: felt like, you know, I had had relationships before, but

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Speaker 1: he was the first one where I really like I

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Speaker 1: kind of thought he I thought he was the one,

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Speaker 1: and it was one of those things where, like you know,

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Speaker 1: they always say like when you meet somebody, you know

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Speaker 1: when you know and you know, like not that I

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Speaker 1: not that it's like love at first sight, but like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, there's just like a knowing And I

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Speaker 1: really felt that with him, like I truly just thought

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Speaker 1: like that was it for me and everything, And so

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Speaker 1: I do think it hit it hit me harder, and

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Speaker 1: like I hate I hate the way like what I'm

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Speaker 1: about to say has like a negative thing to it.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think I'm gonna ever fully be over

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Speaker 1: him either. But I kind of think that's okay. Like

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Speaker 1: I think it's kind of crazy to think you can

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Speaker 1: love somebody that much and be with them for so

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Speaker 1: long and like things and then like you know, in time,

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Speaker 1: just fully be okay. I just I think it's okay

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Speaker 1: not to be well. And I was thinking about I

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Speaker 1: was listening to a song and it was it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like a sad, Like the sound of this song wasn't sad.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember what it was, but it's basically talking

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Speaker 1: about how like when we get into relationship with people

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Speaker 1: were strangers before we meet them, like we have no

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Speaker 1: idea to exist, and then we meet them and our

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Speaker 1: whole life changes, like our whole world shifts, and that's

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Speaker 1: like such a huge part of our lives and then

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Speaker 1: you break up and you're that's not there anymore. But

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Speaker 1: it's like, how do you experience so things so massive

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Speaker 1: and life changing and not and just be able to

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Speaker 1: get over that completely and never think about it again.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think it's a realistic and like how

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Speaker 1: we're made up, or maybe some people are, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know, but I agree with you and

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Speaker 1: it's like in a weird way, like I kind of

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Speaker 1: think of it as in the same way as like,

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Speaker 1: let's say, for instance, that I was with somebody, not

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Speaker 1: necessarily even married, but like in a relationship with somebody

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Speaker 1: that was like the one for me or my person,

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Speaker 1: and that person died, you wouldn't be expected to like

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Speaker 1: be with someone else and just forget that person entirely, right,

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Speaker 1: and like cannot ever be affected by that relationship or

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Speaker 1: think of them ever again. And even though it's not

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Speaker 1: exactly the same thing, like it kind of is, especially

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Speaker 1: when you cut somebody out of your life and don't

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Speaker 1: ever speak to them again, it kind of feels like

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Speaker 1: they die, Like it feels like a death right like

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Speaker 1: in your life. And I kind of just look at

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Speaker 1: it the same way. It's like, you know, you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: expect someone to just forget their partner that passed away

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Speaker 1: and and just like all of a sudden, like they

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Speaker 1: have zero feelings for them forever. It just doesn't really

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Speaker 1: work that way. Right When you are you dating again,

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Speaker 1: have you started that process? I've tried. I've been on dates,

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Speaker 1: um and I did kind of sort of date somebody

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Speaker 1: last year around this time. UM, and it took me.

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Speaker 1: I guess a year ago is when I when I

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Speaker 1: did start seeing somebody else, and it took me that

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Speaker 1: long to even get to that place. Um, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna lie, like when I put myself out there,

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Speaker 1: it's just always been such a disappointment. I'm like, why

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Speaker 1: do I even do this? It's so hard to even

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Speaker 1: meet anybody, And um, I don't know, Like I like

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Speaker 1: the idea of long distance because I don't mind being alone,

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Speaker 1: and like, I'm very independent and i have my own

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Speaker 1: life going on, and I'm perfectly fine not seeing somebody

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Speaker 1: every day. But there's a fine line between, you know,

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Speaker 1: being able to do long distance and the reality of like,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, if you start talking to somebody online

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Speaker 1: or on an app and you're never ever going to

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Speaker 1: meet in real life, like what's the point, you know? So,

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Speaker 1: I mean it kind of goes like it could be

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Speaker 1: somebody that lives in you know, Washington State, or somebody

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Speaker 1: lives in London. It's like, all right, well, are you

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Speaker 1: gonna get on a plane and come here and take

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Speaker 1: me on a day, because if not, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: waste my time talking to you. And that's kind of

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Speaker 1: my attitude about it, and it's hard to like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just just like not that many options if you

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Speaker 1: really think of it that way. Yeah, you're like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to do the long distancing, but like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need some major effort from you if I'm going

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Speaker 1: to commit. Yeah, Like I when I start talking to

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Speaker 1: people on apps or something, I'm like, after like two

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Speaker 1: or three days of chatting with them, part of me

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Speaker 1: wants to literally be like, so, are you getting on

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Speaker 1: a plane and like taking me out this weekend? Or what?

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Speaker 1: Is that too much to ask? Do you? Have you

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Speaker 1: ever had someone do that? Have you ever had I

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Speaker 1: had the guy started seeing last year. He did fly

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Speaker 1: to Nashville and take me out. That's it. I like that.

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Speaker 1: You don't know about him, but it's not working out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we don't like him for other reasons, but we like

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Speaker 1: him for the effort. I did appreciate that effort and

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Speaker 1: and I mean I like that, like the boldness of that, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm a try the people that like make bold

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Speaker 1: moves and are very like confident and whatever, and um

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Speaker 1: he did that, And I was like, like, but that

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Speaker 1: can also come across creepy if it's done by the

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Speaker 1: wrong person. So it's another like clury space. You're like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, You're like, I need you to be

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Speaker 1: bold but not too eager, but it's not creepy, not creepy,

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Speaker 1: but confident. What are some Okay, So you're you're dating,

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Speaker 1: Like how you're dating is through the apps? Do you

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Speaker 1: have like are you like I hate the apps? Would

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Speaker 1: you rather meet someone in person? Or you like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the apps? Okay? But I also realize that's the time

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Speaker 1: we live in, and I know a lot of people

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Speaker 1: that have met their significant other that way, and they're

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Speaker 1: wonderful and their relationships are wonderful. So it's like, obviously

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Speaker 1: it's possible to do um, but I just think it's

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Speaker 1: very hard to really get to know somebody through an

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Speaker 1: app and via text and via the phone, even like FaceTime,

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Speaker 1: which is very easy to like be the best version

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Speaker 1: of your self when you're talking to somebody over a phone,

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Speaker 1: you know, and kind of project the person that you

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Speaker 1: want to be or that you think you are, not

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Speaker 1: really your true self. But when you're with somebody in person,

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Speaker 1: it's harder to do that. Like it's easier to like

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Speaker 1: see through those things. So that's the thing I like about,

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Speaker 1: like meeting or hanging out with somebody in person first

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Speaker 1: via like starting some texting relationship. You know. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: feel because when I think about how Haley and I

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Speaker 1: met in person but then she deemed me Like, that's

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Speaker 1: how I like we started talking like after we met,

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Speaker 1: so technically that's an app, you know, like we met

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Speaker 1: in person, but it was initiated by the app. So

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Speaker 1: I feel like the apps get like a bad rap.

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Speaker 1: But all my best friends have met their long term

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Speaker 1: boyfriends on app. So I'm like, this is the times

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Speaker 1: we're in you know, and it only takes one. It

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Speaker 1: only takes one to like change the reputation that true

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Speaker 1: what are your like X? That you get immediately turned

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Speaker 1: off by, like what are your top three? Exce if

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Speaker 1: you're talking to someone and they they do this and

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Speaker 1: you're just like absolutely not, You're done. So a big

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Speaker 1: ick for me is someone that like can't say something

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Speaker 1: without also bragging about themselves. And men do this a lot,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um Like for instance, if I if we're

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Speaker 1: talking about travel and I'm like, oh, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: I went to Iceland last year. I loved it, they'll

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, I went to Iceland to shoot my

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Speaker 1: documentary about it was so succes And I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so you've been to Iceland, say love it. I don't

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Speaker 1: need to hear about Like, I don't need you to

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Speaker 1: sit here and bragg to me and inflate your ego.

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Speaker 1: But they do that. Um so that's a big it

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Speaker 1: to me. I don't like bragging, you know, yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: like I I'm not. That don't impress me much. In

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Speaker 1: the words of Twain, another ick to me. And this

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Speaker 1: is a toughie because I understand that it can be

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Speaker 1: very confusing about how to address this, but it's a

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Speaker 1: huge it to me when people go above and beyond

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Speaker 1: to make sure I know that they're not affected by

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Speaker 1: who my family is. Yeah, like they overcompensate trying to Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's not like you're dating a up and coming I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's not like you're it's not like your family as

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Speaker 1: someone people have never heard about, you know, So like

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Speaker 1: I can I actually kind of appreciate when people address

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Speaker 1: it head on, but you can address it and then

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Speaker 1: just leave it, like you don't need to go on

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Speaker 1: and on about like how oh you know I don't.

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Speaker 1: I really just don't care about that. Like I'm sure

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Speaker 1: she's great, but you know, I truly I just don't

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Speaker 1: care about who your sister is or or you know,

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Speaker 1: any of that. It's like, okay, but that you know,

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Speaker 1: care a little because she's my sister and I love her, right,

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Speaker 1: I need to care a little bit. But um, I

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Speaker 1: feel like the people that are truly kind of unaffected

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Speaker 1: by it don't need to say it. It's just kind

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Speaker 1: of something that comes across. So when when someone's like

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Speaker 1: verbally just like over the top about that and bringing

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Speaker 1: it up like a lot, it's like, okay, I don't

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Speaker 1: like bringing up how much they act like they don't

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Speaker 1: know or care? What's the fine line? I don't know

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Speaker 1: that I have a lot of single We don't have

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Speaker 1: a ton of single men, I think listening to our podcast.

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Speaker 1: But if they were, what's the fine line of that conversation?

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Speaker 1: Like I would say, you can say it once and

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Speaker 1: then just leave it alone unless I bring it up,

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Speaker 1: you know, being like I'm a I'm a fan of

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Speaker 1: your sister, like I love her music or your dad,

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Speaker 1: you know, and they're just yeah, yeah, But when you say, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't care about that or something. It just comes

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Speaker 1: across weird because you know they care. It's like obviously

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Speaker 1: care or like obviously or you wouldn't even bring it up,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And also you don't care,

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Speaker 1: like are you an asshole? I don't care about my family.

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Speaker 1: That's weird, Like I don't know the phrase don't care,

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Speaker 1: doesn't doesn't trans Okay, so care but not too much? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: care a respectable amount yeah. Um. And then I would

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Speaker 1: say the third ick is I get quite a few

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Speaker 1: guys that it like, have things to say about my

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Speaker 1: horsebacker adding hobby. Um. And it varies from different things. Uh.

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Speaker 1: It varies from like giving me shit about how much

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Speaker 1: it costs, you know, and saying like oh, well, you

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Speaker 1: know you are from a rich family cortrad horse or

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Speaker 1: something like that, like don't do that, Like that's not

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Speaker 1: don't do that, and then um and then also like

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Speaker 1: like sexual references to like oh you're ad horses huh,

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Speaker 1: I mean you're good and I'm like okay, now, like

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Speaker 1: horse jokes are not funny. Horse curl jokes are not

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Speaker 1: fun I would never even think about that, Like, oh,

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Speaker 1: they think about it. They first of all, the audacity

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Speaker 1: to even talk about the finance like you relax, I

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Speaker 1: got this, Yeah, I don't need to chime in or

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Speaker 1: have an opinion. And then the sexual Wow, it's like

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Speaker 1: they think they truly think it's funny. I think, And

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Speaker 1: it's like I never heard that one before. Yeah, god man. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The idea of I'm not like a man hater by

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Speaker 1: any means I love men well, but I get it,

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Speaker 1: Like I just sometimes I'm like, how are these incredible

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Speaker 1: women expected to date these? And that's the thing is

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Speaker 1: like I feel like I know a lot of really

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Speaker 1: great women who are single, and I can't. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I could name more than one male, single male

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Speaker 1: that I would ever want any of my friends to

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Speaker 1: be with. You know what I mean? If you are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: do do anybody can set me up with them? Like no,

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Speaker 1: I literally I don't know anybody that's in the male

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Speaker 1: species that I would want any of my friends to

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Speaker 1: be with. That's exactly how I feel, Like to the

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Speaker 1: point where when I have this really amazing single friend,

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Speaker 1: I recommend Robert, my ex boyfriend, because I'm like, he's

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Speaker 1: so sweet, such a good guy. I'm like, I really

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Speaker 1: want him to find a great girl, and they're like,

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Speaker 1: that's your ex and I'm like, yeah, but he's so great.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I can do like well, I have

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Speaker 1: limited resources of like single great guys, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm surrounded and maybe, I mean, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know if guys feel this way about

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Speaker 1: their their boys, you know, where they're like this dude

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Speaker 1: is awesome. But like, I feel like I'm surrounded by

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Speaker 1: like tense like across the spectrum. So it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: unsettling to know what's out there that they're talking about.

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Speaker 1: It's their horseback riding. Oh my gosh, the things people say.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had a question about this because you

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Speaker 1: brought up about your family. And I was at the

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Speaker 1: premiere for the movie Babylon and it was like, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was like Brad Pitt, Mario, Robbie, Olivia

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Speaker 1: Wild like celebrity is like the And I was in

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Speaker 1: the room with them, and I was like, because Haley

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Speaker 1: was going to go up and talk to um, Mario

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Speaker 1: Robbie because her mom worked with her on Titania and

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Speaker 1: say hi. But I was like, I what do you

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00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 1: say when you like, do you feel that when you

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Speaker 1: go to events and stuff, or do you feel like

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Speaker 1: because you've been around it and like on like they're

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Speaker 1: on such a your whole family is just like stars,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, do you just feel comfortable wherever you

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Speaker 1: are because you've been surrounded by it? Or do you

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Speaker 1: still feel like if you're in a room with someone

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Speaker 1: that you like respect or like love their work, do

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Speaker 1: you still get like nervous or like anxious about going

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Speaker 1: up and saying something? Yeah? Um, I definitely would say

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Speaker 1: I feel comfortable being in that atmosphere because I have

351
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Speaker 1: been so much and I'm always around it. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I would I'm not the kind of person to just

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Speaker 1: go up to somebody I don't know, regardless of celebrity status.

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Speaker 1: Like I just don't go up to strangers and start

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Speaker 1: talking to them, so that that's hard for me anyway. Um, So,

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Speaker 1: I definitely I am a bit intimidated by people sometimes,

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Speaker 1: Like Margot Robbie would intimidate me just because I think

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Speaker 1: she's so gorgeous. I literally wouldn't know what to say

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00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 1: to her. She's dope as hell, so chill, I know. Um,

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Speaker 1: I definitely like athletes really get me, Like I feel

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Speaker 1: like that's when I feel the most starstruck is like

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Speaker 1: I met Lebron James and couldn't speak you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. Okay, Okay, so athletes so like at the

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Speaker 1: s Yeah, but I feel like probably in the music

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Speaker 1: like if you're in the music music atmosphere, you're probably

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Speaker 1: like whatever, yeah, totally. And and also also because I

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Speaker 1: do music, I feel like, oh, well, these people I

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Speaker 1: can like talk to these people. I can speak their language,

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Speaker 1: like I can carry a conversation. But somebody like an

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Speaker 1: athlete or or even an actor to an extent, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I just that's so out of my world and like

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Speaker 1: my comfort zone, like I wouldn't even know how to

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Speaker 1: carry a conversation. You know. Well, that's what I was

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Speaker 1: gonna say, because you're in the end history of like

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Speaker 1: knowing when you're comfortable doing something Like if I'm in

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Speaker 1: an like if I'm in a room of people who

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Speaker 1: what they do is like influencing or podcasting, I'm like,

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00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,119
Speaker 1: I'm great. Yeah, But when I'm in a room with

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Speaker 1: people who are like celebrities, like whether it's music or

380
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 1: something that I'm unfamiliar with, I I am. But now

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Speaker 1: that you say you don't feel comfortable going up to anybody.

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00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe that's part of it too. Maybe I'm

383
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Speaker 1: just like that makes me uncomfortable in general. But like,

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Speaker 1: if I'm with Haley and there's someone that she really

385
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 1: wants to me, like if it's a director or someone

386
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 1: that I have no fear of being rejected by, I

387
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 1: will go up to them and be like, I'll act

388
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: like I'm her publicist or something, and I'll be like this, Um,

389
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 1: but yeah, I was just curious because you you grew

390
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 1: up so very differently than I did and for most people,

391
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: and just like if that is something you ever deal

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00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 1: with because you're in the industry and all these things too. Yeah,

393
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 1: I think I think talking to people is just intimidating,

394
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 1: probably to me in general. People I don't know, um,

395
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 1: but like I remember I went to like a hotel

396
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: opening or something, and I was with my best friend Kirston,

397
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Speaker 1: and Johnny Depp was there, Um, who else was there?

398
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: Sophia Regard's husband, what's his name, Joe magli Mad they

399
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 1: were there, and and she was just like beside herself

400
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 1: that Johnny Depp had walked right in front. He walked

401
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: right in front of us, you know, and I was like, oh,

402
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 1: I mean when it's I mean, he's cool, like I

403
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 1: love his movies, but like whatever, Johnny Depp. It's like,

404
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 1: I guess like in that sense, it doesn't when I'm

405
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: in the same room with those people, I'm like, Oh,

406
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 1: they're just normal people, you know. But it's the it's

407
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,719
Speaker 1: the conversation that's intimidating. Yeah, because I will say, like,

408
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 1: when I'm in a room of people, unless like I

409
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: have a list of people who I would freak out over,

410
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 1: and it's like Jennifer Aniston, I would say, like Brad Pitt,

411
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 1: Margot Robbie Um, Chris Hemsworth, Like there's just like a

412
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: select where I would like panic in their presence and

413
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 1: be like, I don't even know what I say, but

414
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 1: yours as athletes? Yeah, would you like to date an athlete?

415
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 1: Does that interest you? Well? I thought I thought so,

416
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: But the last one I was an athlete, I guess

417
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 1: if you can call them that. And I just don't

418
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 1: sure did he play that we're questioning? He played hockey?

419
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: And I actually I hear that hockey guys are actually great,

420
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: so I probably just got a bad egg. But oh,

421
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I've heard they're the most um wild.

422
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't. I think they're all wild. I

423
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: think athletes. It's like they're all I mean, and obviously

424
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 1: there's the exceptions, but I think you're just their lifestyles

425
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 1: are crazy, and they have women just like throwing themselves constantly,

426
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 1: you know, and they're constantly just in different cities and

427
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: traveling around and not how much. And it's just like

428
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: a set up for disaster. You're like, I like long distance,

429
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: but not in this way. Although you know who I

430
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: think is so hot, um Travis Kelsey from Kennas City Chiefs.

431
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he had like a reality show, right, yeah,

432
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 1: I think he did, which I know nothing about. I

433
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 1: literally just saw a clip of him on TikTok and

434
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: I was like, who's that? And I clicked and that's

435
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 1: that's who he is. And I will say, the other

436
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 1: thing that's hard to find these days is somebody age appropriate.

437
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, and he he is age appropriate. But

438
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 1: for the most part, I feel like the single available

439
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: men are very much younger than me, or much much older,

440
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: Like it's the thirties, thirties, pool is shallow, slim, pickens

441
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,399
Speaker 1: wait is he is? He? Is? He in a relationship.

442
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: I have no idea. Oh dang, we're gonna we're gonna

443
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: have to figure that out after this. Probably not my age,

444
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: probably not. What's your range of like older or younger?

445
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: Have you ever dated younger? Like much younger? Much older?

446
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: I don't think everyone I've dated has been Usually usually

447
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 1: they're just like a couple of years younger than me,

448
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: like one or two years younger. I would say, Um,

449
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: I really feel like the youngest I would go is

450
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: thirty okay, um, And the oldest I would probably go

451
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: is maybe forty five. What are maybe, okay, you meet

452
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:29,880
Speaker 1: someone who's forty seven? What are the like things that

453
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 1: would because sometimes I feel like the older men you

454
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: go like the question a lot, which I don't know

455
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: if it's fair, because I would hate if people did

456
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: this to women. But it's like why are you? Yeah? Yeah,

457
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: I mean I would guess that most are divorced, which

458
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: is fine. I mean I think that if you are

459
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: going to exclude divorced men from who you're willing to

460
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: date you, then you're going to be alone forever. Like

461
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: that's just the reality we live in. As people get divorced,

462
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 1: it's very common, and um that doesn't really scare me

463
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: a whole lot. I feel like in some ways, somebody

464
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 1: that's divorced would actually have learned a lot in that

465
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,959
Speaker 1: prior relationship and hopefully done some work right and so

466
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,119
Speaker 1: that when they go into another one they are better

467
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: prepared to make it work. Um. Also, like older is

468
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 1: kind of appealing to me in the sense of, like,

469
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: I don't really want kids, which is very the hot topic.

470
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: So dating older was nice for me because I'm like,

471
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: hopefully they're old enough that they don't want kids or

472
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: they've already had them, and I'd be a great step mom. Wait,

473
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 1: this is a good conversation because I don't know if

474
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: you if you experience this, but my whole life, I always, like,

475
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 1: growing up in the South, fought I wanted to have

476
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: kids and be married by I was like, I'll be

477
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: married with two kids, like l O l at my

478
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: life plan and how that went down. But now I

479
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: know that I love kids like I love babies. I

480
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 1: love kids, but I I love giving them back, you know,

481
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 1: Like I love that I'm not having to wake up

482
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: earlier be you know, make the sacrifices. And I think

483
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 1: it's obviously different when it's your child. But this is

484
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: a conversation I've been like having recently because it's changed

485
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: so much than what I thought it would be. Have

486
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: you always known that you didn't want kids or is

487
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: that more recent? No, it's kind of I've kind of

488
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: always felt that way. I just I haven't ever had

489
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: that desire where I'm like, oh, I want kids so

490
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: bad one day or that's I've never like pictured my

491
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: life like that, and I've never like I know people

492
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: that are just like, oh, I just want to be

493
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: pregnant so bad. Like I don't know what that's like.

494
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: That's sounds miserable to me. I don't want to do that. Um,

495
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: And I like, kids are fine, but I've never like

496
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: I never babysat when I was younger, except for my

497
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: own siblings, but you know that was my force. But

498
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: I I just don't have a lot of experience with

499
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: young kids, and it's just not not ever been something

500
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: that I wanted to do. UM. But I don't know,

501
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 1: Like I think it's just tough because we are kind

502
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: of raised to think like, oh, you you should have kids,

503
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: and you should do it by this age, and this

504
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: is what you should be doing. And like my mom

505
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: had three kids when she was my age three, and

506
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: that is so crazy to me. I just can't even

507
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: imagine life like that, you know what I mean? Um,

508
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 1: And so I think, like I get I get shipped

509
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: on a lot for saying that I don't want kids,

510
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: but I just, you know, I don't know why I

511
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: think that it should be. I should think it should

512
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: be a little bit more normalized. Like if as a woman,

513
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 1: if I want to prioritize my career, you know that,

514
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: or my relationship, my you know whatever, other relationships, that

515
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: that should be Okay. Well, I do think more people

516
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: are talking about it now now, more than ever being

517
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 1: comfortable saying like I don't know if that's what I want,

518
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: because it's been so expected that, like as a women,

519
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 1: that's what we want to have, like that's what we

520
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: want for our lives. But I do. I mean, in

521
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: my mind, I'm like, why wouldn't we If someone doesn't

522
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: want that, if they don't want that for their life,

523
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 1: why would we encourage them for the child's sake? Like

524
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: why would we encourage that? So I do I think

525
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 1: it's like important to like that people are talking about

526
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: it more normalizing it because I do think especially our

527
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: age group. It's like what you know, and it's not

528
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 1: to be you know, to say like we don't like

529
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: babies or we we hate the idea of kids. It's

530
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 1: just saying like, yeah, I don't know if that's what

531
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: I see for my life. And it's a big shift.

532
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: So this is why the idea of being a stepparent

533
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,679
Speaker 1: is very appealing to me. But like like an older

534
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: step like like you're saying like the kids are like

535
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: a little bit older, yes, because I actually I really

536
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: like hanging out with kids that are like in the twelve,

537
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 1: like twelve to sixteen year old range. Like like when

538
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: I was younger, I would volunteer um at like church

539
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: camp in the summer for middle schoolers, you know, and

540
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 1: so I like, I mean good at that. I'm good

541
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: at that middle school age. There's a couple of girls

542
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: at Red Horses with me at my barn, and they're

543
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: like fourteen fifteen, and they're so fun because you have

544
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: that more of that like sister relationship. They they they're

545
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: they're young enough that they think you're cool and they

546
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: want to hang out with you, you know, um, but

547
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: they're old enough that like you don't have to like

548
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: watch your language around them and stuff like that. So

549
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 1: what are the fourteen year old like now? Like I

550
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: was very different at fourteen than Oh, it's so scary.

551
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 1: They talked to boys through snapchat and snapchat only and

552
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: they send each other pictures of like a quarter of

553
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: their face back and forth. No text. Wait, the guys

554
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: do too. Guys do it too? Yeah? Or the guys.

555
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: The guys will send photos like at this angle, like

556
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 1: the phone's like down low, and they're just like it's

557
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 1: like half their face looking at the phone. It's the

558
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: weirdest thing I've ever seen. I'm like, you guys are

559
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: absolutely nuts. And that's how they know if they like

560
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: each other. If they get like the quarter of the

561
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: face yes, or the down angle, that's like, oh he's

562
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: into me. Yeah. Also, all these middle schoolers are like

563
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: all these boys are like sending picks from the gym.

564
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel like in middle school, I didn't

565
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: know any boys that went to the gym unless they

566
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: were forced because of their sport, you know what I mean. Like,

567
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: these guys live for the gym and they're fourteen years old.

568
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: It's it's unreal. How do they get to the gym?

569
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: Drops them all guess. I mean, I guess as a

570
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: parent you're like, yeah, whatever keeps you entertained, like, go

571
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, I guess they're like, this is better

572
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: than the alternative that they could be doing. Wow, that's

573
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: very different than what I was doing it. Yeah, it's fascinating.

574
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: They are still making out cars, which kept up tradition. Yeah,

575
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: I kept that up. That's the place, um, you know,

576
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: find find an empty parking lot, makeup car, what car?

577
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: Whose car? They've got older friends, I guess, and like

578
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: the whole friends will drive, you know, drive them to

579
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,479
Speaker 1: the parking lot and go do something and let them

580
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: make out in the car. I don't know, it's crazy. Wow,

581
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,239
Speaker 1: Well I'm glad to know the car makeout. So I've

582
00:29:47,360 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: stayed insistent throughout the generations. So we normally do emails

583
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: where we people like rite in for advice. So normally

584
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: I have our producer Mark read them, but he's not here,

585
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: so I'm going to read them and then we're just

586
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: going to give these people advice. Um. So the first

587
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: one is from anonymous and they say, and the last

588
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: year I've grown pretty close to my to a girl

589
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 1: who I would say is now one of if not

590
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: only my my only best friend. Our boyfriends are also

591
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: good friends, and we all have a great time hanging

592
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: out together, and we're all very close. I don't really

593
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: have any other girlfriends, and I really value her friendship

594
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: and feel as though she would do anything for me.

595
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: The only thing that makes me uncomfortable in our friendship

596
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: is the amount she judges and talks negatively about other people.

597
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: She will frequently comment on other people's, other women's weights, looks,

598
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: and outfits. It makes me sad for others to hear

599
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: her say mean things about these people we don't even know.

600
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: I'm all about empowering women and supporting whatever outfit or

601
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: makeup choices people make, So I never know how to

602
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: respond to these comments. I usually end up just totally

603
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: changing the subject. But how can I kindly point out

604
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: that she shouldn't judge others so harshly and talk crap

605
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: about people. I normally want to want to be friends

606
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: with someone like that, but she is very loyal and

607
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,239
Speaker 1: kind to those she is close with. Does this make

608
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: her toxic? And should I move on from this friendship? Interesting? So,

609
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: I I have a friend that I I feel like

610
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: that my friend isn't so extreme about it. But I

611
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: do have a friend that it's kind of her thing,

612
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: you know, to talk shit, and um, I'll say that

613
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: I feel like that stems from insecurity on her end. Right.

614
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 1: It's like usually when people feel the need to comment

615
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: negatively on other people, it's that an insecurity thing on themselves,

616
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: and that's kind of their mechanism for coping with it. Um.

617
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: So what I heard to do with that friend is,

618
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: first of all, I definitely don't feed into comments like that.

619
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 1: Then she makes like I think she wants you to

620
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: laugh or wants you to like agree or whatever, and

621
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: I just I just purposefully don't do that. Um. And

622
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: then on the flip side of it, I feel like

623
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: I try to do my best to like build her

624
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: up in any way I can just not not not

625
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: not specifically like when she's making this comments which just

626
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: kind of all the time, just make sure that she

627
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: knows that I think she's cool and I think she's beautiful,

628
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: I think she's awesome, you know what I mean, Just

629
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: kind of do what I can to kind of build

630
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: up her confidence, because I think that's where it stems from.

631
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: So for me, I'm like, if you can kind of

632
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: like fix that whole issue, not fix it, but like

633
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: and that issue then then that then the you know,

634
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 1: the ship talking will decrease, is the idea. I also

635
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: think that like maybe when she says something negative about

636
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: something or someone you like, you counter it with something

637
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: positive about that person, Like she was like, oh, did

638
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: you see how ugly your shirt is? Like I thought

639
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: she looked really cute and I really liked her hair.

640
00:32:55,160 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 1: And I think that subconsciously people like sometimes when I

641
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: feel like I'm being negative or I'm in a bad

642
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: mood or something, and then someone else counters it and

643
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: they're like positive or like, I remember, Jojo is really

644
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: good about this. Where I'll say something, I'll be like, oh,

645
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: like complain about something, She's like, yeah, but you know

646
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: we're so lucky, or you know, she'll just counter it

647
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: with like an attitude where I like check myself and

648
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: without her even having to tell me, like hey, like

649
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: don't be negative or something I like and going our

650
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: way And maybe, I mean, I don't know, maybe that's well,

651
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: let's hope this this friend is self aware enough to

652
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: be able to check herself. But I think if you,

653
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: like Brandy said, like, don't feed into it. And also

654
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: maybe counter it with something positive. That's a way of like,

655
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: maybe there will be changed there. But also I always

656
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: wonder when people talk poorly. I typically don't surround myself

657
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: with people who speak badly about other people, but I'm

658
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: always like if they did. I've always seen that quote

659
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: of like why did they feel so comfortable telling me

660
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: about that? Like are they saying it to other people

661
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: about me? You know? So I would just you know,

662
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: try to shift the conversation. And also I agree, I

663
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 1: think it comes from insecurities of her own, because I

664
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 1: think we're very critical of other people when we have

665
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 1: a lot going on within ourselves. It's easier to focus

666
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: on them than us. Okay, this one is from Sarah.

667
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: I recently turned thirty. I've been single for upward two

668
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: of five years, hardly even a potential suit or at

669
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 1: any point in that time frame, and I'm at that

670
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 1: point in my life where it feels like everyone around

671
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: me is getting married, engaged, starting families, and I'm looking

672
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,879
Speaker 1: around at all these festivities as the only single one.

673
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: It often feels like finding my person isn't in the

674
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: cards for me, and having kids feels further and further

675
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: away as even being a possibility. What secks even more

676
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: is that my friends and relationships don't get it when

677
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: I know if the tables were turned, they would be

678
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: struggling just as much as me, if not more. How

679
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 1: do you cope with being happy for everyone in your

680
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: life when you feel like you're being left behind? I mean,

681
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: I'm a little older than than than her, I'm thirty five,

682
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: but I will say I like thirty. When I was thirty,

683
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 1: I was also in a position where I hadn't dated

684
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: anybody in five years at all, and like zero zero

685
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: zero prospects, nobody I was interested in at all. And

686
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: shortly after that, like around thirty, what was I like?

687
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: Thirty one or thirty two is when I met my ex,

688
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: the one that was like I was still in love

689
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: with or what not? Um, And so I would say

690
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: to her specifically, like, I know, thirties seems old or older,

691
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: but you're really just still so young. I mean, so yeah,

692
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: and you still have so much time and um and

693
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 1: I think like the more you focus on trying to

694
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,959
Speaker 1: meet somebody, I don't know, there's something to be said

695
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 1: for like, as soon as you stop trying, it happens

696
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: for you, you know what I mean? So you're like

697
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: everywhere you go if you're just looking for that person.

698
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: My advice would be like, just stop looking, really trying

699
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: to focus on yourself because something my friends even tell

700
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: me now at thirty five, because most almost all of

701
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: my friends are in relationship which are married, and they're like,

702
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, I know it sounds cheesy, but just enjoy

703
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: the time you have with yourself because relationships are really hard,

704
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: and it's really hard to live with someone and not

705
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: have any personal space and any alone time. Like and

706
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people in relationships are in

707
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 1: marriages kind of look back on that and they're like, oh, man,

708
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: I really kind of wish I had appreciated that more. Um,

709
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: And so I think if you can kind of turn

710
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 1: your focus to appreciating this alone time, appreciating being able

711
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: to do what you want and spend your time doing

712
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: you know, whatever you want to do, and really focusing

713
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: on just better in yourself and things that you're passionate about,

714
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: I think that person will come. And I do think

715
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,959
Speaker 1: there's something to be said for you know, it comes

716
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: when you least expected and you're not looking. I agree.

717
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like just with anything in life,

718
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: the more you are able to let go of the

719
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 1: control of like forcing something to happen, the more things

720
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: fall into place. It's so true. My shirt when I

721
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 1: met Haley said no time for romance, Like that is

722
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: the funniest thing ever, Like I was so not looking

723
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 1: for anything, Like I was just having so much fun

724
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: being single. And I I think that no matter if

725
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: you're single, if you're married, if you're in a relationship,

726
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: the grass is always greener, Like you have to be

727
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: able to look at your life where you are and

728
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: find contentment in that, because as soon as you meet someone,

729
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a moment where you go like maybe

730
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: I maybe I wish I would have appreciated that time

731
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: where I was just learning to love myself more so

732
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: I agree. I think it's like focus on yourself, learn

733
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 1: to love yourself, learn to be in it, and and

734
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: let it be hard, like it's okay for it to

735
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: be hard, and like being around people who are all

736
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 1: in different life phases. But also maybe branch out and

737
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 1: maybe try and meet people who are in the same

738
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: position as you, because I think like it's hard to

739
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 1: um like go out and meet people if all your

740
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: friends are like single or have families because they're like,

741
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to go out. I want to be

742
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: at home, and you're like, I'm trying to go, like

743
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: go on on the town. You need someone to go

744
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: with me. So I think it's just like finding a

745
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 1: balance of you know, letting yourself be like, dang, I

746
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: really want that, and also like, but it's going to

747
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: happen when I least expect, and just you know, stay

748
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: hopeful in that regard and put yourself out there like

749
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: you can't like you do have to, Like it might

750
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 1: be scary to put yourself out there to go on

751
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: dates or get on dating apps, but even just getting

752
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: on an app and learning to like talk and flirt

753
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 1: and banter, I think is a great practice for putting

754
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: yourself out there in the dating world. And the more

755
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 1: dates you go on at least you'll be finding out,

756
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: if anything, what you don't want. It's like you learned

757
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 1: very quickly like oh nope, that's not funny or okay, nope,

758
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 1: don't want that, you know, and then when you do

759
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,240
Speaker 1: meet the right person and it'll just be more clear.

760
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: I think. So I definitely agree with you, like, go

761
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 1: on as many days as you can. You gotta put

762
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: yourself out there, Like you can't meet anybody sitting at

763
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: home by yourself. You know. They rarely show up on

764
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: the front porch. They rarely knock on the door. Yeah,

765
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: I can't say I'm holding out for that. Are you

766
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: doing anything fun for the holidays? What are your plans? So?

767
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: I am staying in Nashville for Christmas, which I'm actually

768
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: thrilled about because my time at home has been very

769
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: little this year. Um. But um, the day after Christmas,

770
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,399
Speaker 1: I'm flying to Miami because Miley is doing her big

771
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: NBC New Year's Show live from Miami. Um. So I

772
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: booked a New Year's Eve gig of my own in

773
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: Miami so I could be there and kind of spend

774
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,240
Speaker 1: the week with everybody. My mom will be there too,

775
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: um And so even though I won't be with them

776
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: for Christmas, I'll see them the next day and we

777
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: have the whole week together. So I'm excited about that.

778
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:44,760
Speaker 1: That will be so fun. Miami and Miami New Year's Yeah,

779
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: like a little work and some play. Yeah, but that's

780
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: the best. I get to like make a little money

781
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: and have a lot of fun. And the best part

782
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: is going to be nine degrees here on Christmas Day

783
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 1: and then the next day I get to leave and

784
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: go to the beach, so that nine degrees that feels miserable.

785
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm actually I'm going to Louisiana and it's typically hot,

786
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: like every the past Christmas is that I can even remember.

787
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 1: It's been like in the eighties, which I like it

788
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: to be a little cozy, you know, eighty degrees in there,

789
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: like Louisiana, humidity is not it. Um, And this year

790
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 1: is gonna be like in the forties. So I'm like,

791
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: finally we're gonna have like a cozy, cold, normal Christmas.

792
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: So has has it been? Is this the first Christmas

793
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: where your parents aren't together? Is this the first one? Yes,

794
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: it's the first one, um where they've been separated. So

795
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 1: I think, like, I don't I don' wouldn't say that

796
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 1: this is the reason why we're kind of all spread

797
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: out this year, But I mean, I think it's maybe

798
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 1: played part of it. Like, so, my brothers live here

799
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 1: in Nashville, which is where I live, and my sisters

800
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: both live in l A. My mom's in l A,

801
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: my dad's in Nashville, so it's kind of like splits

802
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: blitz split um. So for Thanksgiving, I went out to

803
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: l A and uh, I spent that time with my

804
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 1: mom and Miley Noah, and then um for Christmas, like

805
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: my brother's and everybody will be here, so I feel

806
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: like I'm getting to see everyone. Um. But I think

807
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: it's kind of for the best that we're doing it

808
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: that way, because I think it'd be really weird if

809
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: we were all together except one of them, you know

810
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: what I mean, I don't know, And so I kind

811
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: of think the way it's not that we did this

812
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 1: on purpose, but I kind of think it's all it's

813
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: playing out for the best just because of that. Yeah,

814
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: And I think it's nice to be able to like,

815
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: like you have your time with your brothers and your

816
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 1: dad when you're at home, and then you're I mean,

817
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: I feel like you're in l A and like traveling

818
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,839
Speaker 1: all the time. So it's nice that like at least

819
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: everyone's separated into two spots and not like totally well

820
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 1: I know that's I know, it's like I can't really

821
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 1: imagine like the challenge of navigating that. And I think

822
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: like also being you know, it's like when you're adult.

823
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if it makes it harder easier than

824
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: if it happened younger, you know, you know, I think

825
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 1: gets easier. I think, Um, I think I'm kind of

826
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,839
Speaker 1: out of place where. I mean, you know, I love

827
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: my parents and yes they're my parents, but I'm at

828
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,879
Speaker 1: a at an age and a point where like I

829
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: kind of have more of a friendship relationship with the

830
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 1: two of them than I do, you know, parent relationship. Um,

831
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 1: And I think that's a good thing. Like, my mom

832
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: is my best friend, and she and I are just

833
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: so so close. Uh, she and Miley and I are

834
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: all three just like so close, and we really spend

835
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 1: so much time together and are very strategic about making

836
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: time for each other and spending quality time. And I

837
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: think that that's been so great. Um. And so like

838
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 1: I'm I'm glad we have more of that friendship relationship

839
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: and that makes it a little bit easier to kind

840
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: of stay objective about it all, you know, like I

841
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: just want everyone to truly be happy like that, And

842
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: that sounds cliche, but I think that what's happened is

843
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 1: the best for each of them. And yes, it can

844
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: be hurtful to us, and it's of course sad, and

845
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: it's the end of an era, but at the end

846
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: of the day, like if they're both happier, and then

847
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 1: I think that's great, you know. And I think as

848
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: an adult, I can just objectively say like, you know,

849
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you, Like I'm happy you're happy. Yeah.

850
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: I'm curious because like, as you are in relationships of

851
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: your own and you go through like the process of

852
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: being in a relationship and getting together and then breaking up,

853
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 1: does it give you like a clearer sense of like

854
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, it's like they're going through the same things,

855
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know, kind of circling

856
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: back to what I said in the beginning of our chat,

857
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,160
Speaker 1: it's like divorce happens, like it's very common and um,

858
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 1: you know, it can be sad and everything, but it

859
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: can also be a happy thing for someone to get

860
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 1: to start over. And I don't know, I just I

861
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 1: feel okay about it. I don't I feel but I

862
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: feel like if I was a kid and I was younger,

863
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: I definitely would have a more selfish look outlook on it.

864
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: Of course, like when you're a kid, like it's hard

865
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 1: to not be selfish. Um, So I do think being

866
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 1: an adult makes it a bit easier when you like

867
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: say you have the like a friendship relationship with your parents.

868
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: Are you good at having like hard conversations if they like,

869
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: if they do something that you're what are you doing?

870
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 1: Are you just like do you feel comfortable having those

871
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: hard conversations. I do, and I'm much better at it

872
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: now than I was. Um, but I think to like

873
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: when you're a kid and when you're younger, I think

874
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: like there is sort of this weird fear of like, well,

875
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 1: my parents still love me if I do this or

876
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: say this, And now at thirty five, I'm like, they're

877
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 1: gonna let me no matter what because they gotta. So

878
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say it like it is, you know

879
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I'm just I'm confident enough in

880
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: my relationships with them that i know that, Like I know,

881
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like that, like we

882
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 1: love each other no matter what, and that's what's most important.

883
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: So yeah, when they're messing up, I'm like, Okay, let

884
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 1: me just let's have a moment of truth here. Someone's

885
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,760
Speaker 1: got to say it. That'sn't really I mean, I'm still

886
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 1: like I still struggle having hard conversation with my parents.

887
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 1: So I really respect that because I would love to

888
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: be like, what are you doing? Sometimes yeah, well my

889
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: mom specifically, she would do it to me. She'd be like,

890
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 1: what are you doing? And then yeah, they have no

891
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: problem owing it to me. Yeah, they have no problem

892
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 1: being the parent. Yeah, well, thank you for shutting down

893
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:12,280
Speaker 1: the year with me scrubbing in and being my last

894
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 1: episode of the year. This is so exciting. It is.

895
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: I can't believe the years over. I know it. I

896
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: felt like, from um, Halloween on, it's gone by so

897
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: fast that I haven't even I bought one Christmas present.

898
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm so stressed. I do the same thing. I wait

899
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: till the last minute, I know, but I told myself

900
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna do. I was like, I'm gonna order

901
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 1: everything onlines on, don't even have to go to them all.

902
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: And now I'm going to be just like that frantic

903
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: person elbowing people. But I'll be getting elbowed. Um. Do

904
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: you do New Year's resolutions or anything? Well, Haley and

905
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 1: I normally take a trip and we do like a

906
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 1: vision board. Um. I'm like a huge resolution person because

907
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 1: I always like I blow it in two days. So

908
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: it's like I don't even set myself up for the disappointment.

909
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 1: But it I always like have you know, do like

910
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: the vision board, and it's fun to like do a

911
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 1: craft where I can kind of you know, put it

912
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 1: out there. But one year I did my first vision

913
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: board I ever did. I put this like beautiful all

914
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: window cabin. It was just like from a magazine I

915
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: found and I put on my vision board. And two

916
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: years later we went to Vermont because we went to

917
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 1: see all the leaves and we stayed in this really

918
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 1: cool home and we get back and Haley brings me

919
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: my vision board. We stayed in the exact cabin that

920
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 1: was in like our digest or something no way, and

921
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: I was like, wait what and I locked it up

922
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: and it was literally that cabin. And I mean I

923
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: I just was saying like, oh, I want to go

924
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 1: somewhere where there's like trees and be like surrounded by

925
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: when you know, the leaves. And I went to that cabin.

926
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: So I'm a big believer in vision boards. What about you?

927
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you a resolution setter? I'm not. I'm not. Um,

928
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: it's just like a lot of pressure to come up

929
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 1: with like a resolution, but I do. I do like

930
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,479
Speaker 1: to write like a list of goals for the year,

931
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: kind of start the year with like whether you know,

932
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: like five ish just goals, just simple written down, um,

933
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: just something to manifest for the new year. No, I

934
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,919
Speaker 1: think that's I mean, I think it's like I think

935
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: putting out there what you want to happen. Even if

936
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: you do a resolution and you fail immediately or like

937
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 1: it doesn't last long. I think it's just I think

938
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 1: it's important to just put it out there, like write

939
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 1: it down, do a vision board, say it out loud.

940
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: I think it's there's like power in that. And um,

941
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I think that it's like easy to be hard on

942
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,399
Speaker 1: ourselves when we make goals, resolutions and don't follow through.

943
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 1: But I think it's important to just try, you know,

944
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: like there doesn't need to be that much pressure. There's

945
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: enough going on in the world. We don't need to

946
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: put that much pressure on herself. Well, where can people

947
00:47:54,400 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: follow you on Instagram? Social media? TikTok and um tell

948
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 1: people where they can fight? Yeah, all the things, all

949
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: the things? Um yeah, Instagram, I would say, is where

950
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: I'm most active. Um at Brandy Cyrus Brandy with an I.

951
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: I do have a TikTok, but I gotta be honest,

952
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: I'm not great at it. I'm really trying try to

953
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 1: get better tip talk um. Also, I do have my

954
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 1: own podcast. It's called Your Favorite Thing, co host Wells Adams,

955
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: who I'm sure a lot of people here might be

956
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 1: familiar with from Bachelor in Paradise, and Wells and I've

957
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: been friends for so long, and so we just chat

958
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: every week about our favorite things and shoot the ship

959
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 1: and you know, talk to talk about a little pop

960
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 1: culture and stuff like that, which is fun. And then

961
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: my mom and I have a podcast called Sorry We're

962
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: Stoned that's been on hiatus for a year and we're

963
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: bringing it back at the top of next year. So

964
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: that's that's amazing. Do you know what's so funny? What

965
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: I remember when we first met. This was so long ago.

966
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: This isn't like I don't even know, two thousand and

967
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: sixteen or something. Oh my god, we met and I

968
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,479
Speaker 1: you were telling me something about how your dad loves

969
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: to smoke weed and your mom doesn't like it. Oh yeah,

970
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: she's very against it. But now she's not. Now she's

971
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: the biggest stoner we know. She truly is. It's absolutely hilarious.

972
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: I mean, my parents have told us, they're like, oh, well,

973
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 1: now we'll tell you that, you know, when you guys

974
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 1: were kids, my mom was. My mom literally was like

975
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 1: I was so against weed that like, your dad would

976
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: have to sneak it, and we had, we had. My

977
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 1: dad has a lot of Native American heritage and stuff

978
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: in his ancestry, and so he used to have a

979
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: TP up on our hill and that was his man cave,

980
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 1: and that's where he would hide it, and he would

981
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: go up there to smoke weed because my mom would

982
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 1: be so mad if she ever caught him. So fast forward.

983
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 1: Now she's literally the biggest stoner and doesn't care who

984
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 1: knows it, which is absolutely hilarious. But I'll I gotta

985
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: say I like her better stoned. Yeah, I mean everyone's

986
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 1: like a blast when there's I mean, well, so people

987
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: turned into zombies. I actually did that yesterday at the

988
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 1: point that can't happen. But not my mom. She's chattier,

989
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 1: she's laughs more. She she loses her filter, which is

990
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: great because she's so funny and it really is just

991
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: the best thing ever. So do you'll do the podcast? Stone?

992
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 1: Is that like what you'll do? She does? If we

993
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 1: were both stoned, we would podcast. That's why we've been

994
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 1: on hiatus for a year. I actually don't smoke like

995
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: I mean I have here and there, but I just

996
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 1: not for me. Um. But there was one episode where

997
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: I did get stoned with her and literally when we

998
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: just laughed for forty five minutes like nothing happened. I tried,

999
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 1: I literally take edibles and I'll take like the most.

1000
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: I take us five milligrams, you know, very mild, but uh,

1001
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: I was. I tried to get Tommya to do it.

1002
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 1: She won't do it though she's She's like, no, I'm

1003
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: not into it. But I tried to. Um. I tried

1004
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,799
Speaker 1: to smoke a joint. This was last year at New

1005
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,839
Speaker 1: Year's Eve, actually coming up on a year. I thought

1006
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: I was gonna die. I started choking so badly that

1007
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: I was like, this is it for me? And I

1008
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: could never I've never tried again because it was such

1009
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: a tragic experience. And I was like, I like my

1010
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: little gummies, like they're safe. I know, I know what

1011
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to feel like when I take them. They

1012
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:13,760
Speaker 1: don't hurt me with you the gummies, Yeah, the gummies

1013
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: are the way. Yeah. Well, um, I hope you have

1014
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 1: a wonderful holiday in New Year's and I am I

1015
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: hope that I get to see you soon, maybe next

1016
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: time you fly out to l A. Yeah, I'll be

1017
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 1: out there in February for like a week. It's a

1018
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: gran new week and um some stuff this other stuff

1019
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 1: going on too, so that would be awesome. I'd love

1020
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 1: to see you and Tanya and Haley, and yes, we

1021
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,359
Speaker 1: can do a dinner or something. Yeah, it'll be fun.

1022
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: All right. Well, thanks again and I'll I'll see you

1023
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: next year. See you next year.