1 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:09,799 Speaker 1: Hi. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 2: and speaker. 4 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, 5 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 3: and course creator. We are two working parents who love 6 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,080 Speaker 3: our careers and our families. 7 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long. 10 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: Term career goals. 11 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life. 12 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 2: This episode is airing in mid November of twenty twenty four. 14 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 2: Sarah and I are going to be discussing how to 15 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 2: lighten your mental load, which is a hot topic for 16 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 2: many people. I am sure we all want strategies for 17 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: creating more calm and more mental space. I know a 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 2: lot of our listeners are carrying a lot of mental 19 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 2: load in their lives as they manage work, family, everything 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 2: else that they have going on. Just a real quick definition, 21 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,279 Speaker 2: so we are all working from the same page. Mental 22 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 2: load is the cognitive and emotional effort that it takes 23 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 2: to manage life. So, Sarah, do you have any cognitive 24 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 2: and emotional effort managing your life going on these days. 25 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: Of course, don't we all. 26 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 3: I mean, I am very envious of anybody who can 27 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 3: actually answer this and say. 28 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: No, but yeah. 29 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,839 Speaker 3: I mean, if I had to kind of think about 30 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 3: what the biggest things that are driving my mental load, 31 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 3: I would say I'm doing a lot of spinning about 32 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 3: like next academic year, which seems crazy because we're like 33 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 3: only a few months into this academic year. But I 34 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 3: just feel like there might be changes and it's like 35 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 3: a whole logistical whirlwind if that happens, and so that 36 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 3: is weighing on me, even though it's not really close. 37 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 3: I feel like my mental load is taken up by 38 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 3: how I am fitting in my writing amongst many other 39 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 3: life activities. And then the third thing I would say 40 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 3: that's a little bit extra right now is that Cameron 41 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 3: is on two soccer teams, which this was the case 42 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 3: last year as well, but there's a season which he 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,919 Speaker 3: has at school, but then he still has his club soccer. 44 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 3: So that leads to a schedule that is pretty much nuts, 45 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 3: with many days him going almost straight from soccer to soccer. 46 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 3: He chose to do this again. He wanted to play 47 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 3: with his friends. He really enjoys it, but it's like 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: a crazy season. 49 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. 50 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 2: I've just been feeling like there's a lot going on 51 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 2: as well. I mean, we have a pretty good schedule 52 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: that's tightly orchestrated. People know at this point their activity 53 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 2: is what they're going to and all that. It's just 54 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 2: that five kids generate a lot of details, and even 55 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: though some of the basic stuff is set, there is 56 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: always something that is going to be different every week. 57 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,959 Speaker 1: I mean, just right before we were. 58 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 2: Recording this, I was setting up the schedule for the 59 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 2: next week when I'm taking Ruth to her eye specialist appointment, 60 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 2: which is far away, so we have to get her 61 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 2: there that day. But that meant so I needed to 62 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 2: reschedule something else that was going on that day, figure 63 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 2: out the car situation, or you know when some kids 64 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 2: like music lesson moves all of a sudden, everything else 65 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 2: needs to switch around it. There's just a lot of 66 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 2: contingent parts, and I feel with some evidence that I 67 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: am the only person who has all this in my 68 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 2: head or even on paper. So it is a lot 69 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 2: to keep track of. It is just the thing that 70 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 2: we you know, the topic here is that it is 71 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 2: real work, and it can feel overwhelming if you are 72 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 2: the person in your family managing most of the home front. 73 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: On the other hand, it doesn't have to feel quite 74 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: so overwhelming. 75 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 2: There are obviously larger issues of who handles what amount 76 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 2: of mental load in any given household, which is an 77 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 2: interesting topic in and of itself, but is not the 78 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 2: topic of this episode, which is that however much mental 79 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 2: load you happen to be carrying, there are ways to 80 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 2: make that burden more manageable and you know, maybe even 81 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 2: see some of the upsides where if you are the 82 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 2: one who controls the schedule, you have a certain power 83 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: associated with that. But yeah, so one of the key 84 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 2: things that makes it feel like there's a lot spinning 85 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 2: is what you were talking about, Sarah. You're just perseverating 86 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 2: on something, right, Like there's a lot in your. 87 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 3: Head, yes, and you're I'm going to let you keep going, 88 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 3: But I wonder if you're right, that's kind of adding 89 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 3: to the stress, and I haven't fixed it because it 90 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 3: seems too nebulous to like make concrete at this point. 91 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, so the spinning adds up to something, 92 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 2: but in general, with mental load, like don't keep it 93 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,799 Speaker 2: in your head heads are very bad places for any 94 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 2: sort of detail that needs to be remembered, because you know, 95 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 2: humans don't have exceptional memories. We get tired, we forget things, 96 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 2: details may slip us by, We may remember the wrong thing. 97 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 2: So long time readers know, I advocate our listeners whatever 98 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 2: we have here. I advocate a weekly planning session where 99 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 2: you figure out your priorities for the upcoming week. But 100 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: a key reason to do this is that if you 101 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 2: know there is a time for planning, then you don't 102 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 2: have to keep worrying about it the rest of the time. 103 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 2: You're like, well, how am I going to figure out 104 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: that tricky ride situation that is happening in a week 105 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,119 Speaker 2: and a half. It's like, well, maybe you don't actually 106 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 2: have to figure it out right this minute. If you 107 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 2: have a dedicated weekly planning time, you can sort it 108 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 2: through at that moment and give yourself permission not to 109 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 2: do it at every other point. 110 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 111 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 3: I think that's actually huge. I think people don't recognize 112 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 3: that side of planning. You know, when I hear a 113 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 3: lot of people talking about, oh, you know, why plan 114 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 3: because you know you're just in that like hustle mindset 115 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 3: or something. It's like No, A lot of the times 116 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: I'm planning so that I can like not stress about 117 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 3: it later, or like just kind of have my mind 118 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 3: be done with the planning portion and then move on 119 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 3: to the doing portion without being polluted by all these 120 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 3: thoughts that are going to come, whether or not I 121 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 3: am trying to curate some then lifestyle or not. 122 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: So yeah, I think that's a great point. 123 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: And then there's something to be said for a little 124 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 2: bit of group planning too. I mean, I know a 125 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,239 Speaker 2: lot of our listeners have some sort of family meeting 126 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 2: where you discuss logistics, especially if you need somebody else's 127 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 2: input or you need to compare calendars or anything like that. Sarah, 128 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 2: are you guys doing any sort of family meeting at 129 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 2: this point? 130 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: It's pretty informal. 131 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 3: It generally happens around Sunday dinner, which is one of 132 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 3: the few meals we tend to all sit down together, 133 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 3: and by then I usually have completed my whiteboard action, 134 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 3: which is getting in writing basically everyone is supposed to be. 135 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: For the next week. 136 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 3: We've started putting a couple of like shared family tasks 137 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 3: on that board as well. 138 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: That's sort of unfolded organically. 139 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 3: It's not something I sort of set out to do, 140 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 3: but I kind of like the idea that Josh and 141 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 3: me and the kids can see like the two maybe 142 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 3: most pressing priorities that kind of relate to everyone in 143 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: addition to everything that's happening, And so our meeting is 144 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 3: generally just everybody like kind of checking that out and 145 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 3: me commenting on anything that is weird, like oh, there's 146 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 3: no school on Thursday for two out. 147 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: Of three kids or something else. An appointment. 148 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I basically construct a calendar for the 149 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 2: upcoming week for the family on Fridays. People are supposed 150 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 2: to get me any information that would be pertinent to this. 151 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 2: Some people are better about it than others. And there's 152 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 2: always just the reality that teens social life changes quickly. 153 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 2: It's last minute, sometimes they have new things come up. 154 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 2: But I get a comment that it's just that I 155 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 2: have the structure of the week set then we can 156 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 2: all work from the same document. But you know, so 157 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 2: you have a weekly planning session to get all this down, 158 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 2: but then stuff is going to occur to you at 159 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 2: other points, and the quickest way to get it out 160 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 2: of your head is to capture it somewhere that you 161 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 2: know you will be able to act on. 162 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: So, Sarah, you email yourself all the time, right. 163 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 3: Yes, I find that a really easy and effective way 164 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 3: to make sure I capture things on the fly. And 165 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 3: I think the thing that makes it work is that 166 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 3: I always know I'm going to be processing my inbox 167 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 3: at some point, So this is a pretty fool proof 168 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 3: way of making sure I keep things on my radar. 169 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 3: Of course, sometimes I might happen to have my paper 170 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 3: planner with me and I can put stuff directly in there. 171 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 3: When that's not the case, super super easy way to 172 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: just not have to keep it in my head. 173 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: Excellent. Less we keep in our heads, the better. 174 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 2: All Right, We're going to take a quick ad break 175 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: and we will be back talking about more ways to 176 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: lighten our mental load. 177 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 1: Well, we are back. 178 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 2: Talking about ways to lighten the mental load. Whatever you 179 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 2: think about how mental loads should be split in households, 180 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 2: in society, etc. There are always ways to lessen the 181 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 2: burden on yourself so you have mental space for other 182 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 2: things and you have a more calm and controlled life. 183 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: One of the key ways you can do this is 184 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: to batch process things. So one of the reasons people 185 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 2: feel like they're always dealing with the small details of 186 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 2: life is because they are always dealing with the small 187 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 2: details of life. 188 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: It's always an option. 189 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: So you're trying to squeeze them in here and there 190 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 2: all over your schedule, and that can be pretty inefficient. 191 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 2: It's better to save them all up, all these sort 192 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 2: of not urgent tasks and do them in one fell swoop, 193 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 2: possibly at a lower energy time, so you know you're 194 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,559 Speaker 2: not constantly filling out permission slips. You're doing permission slips 195 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: on Friday afternoon at one o'clock when you are also 196 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 2: ordering that birthday party for your niece, answering those three invitations. 197 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: For events from HR. 198 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: You are reordering X, Y, and Z that you need, Sarah, 199 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 2: you do something like this on your lunch break right. 200 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 3: Yes, Friday afternoon would not work because I'm already starting 201 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 3: to see patients at one, But twelve to one is 202 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 3: actually a good amount of time to get a lot 203 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,199 Speaker 3: of these little things done. I just remembered Kretchen Ruben, 204 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 3: I think called it a power hour where you just 205 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 3: like designate a sixty minute period of time to get 206 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,839 Speaker 3: a lot of stuff done, and over the course of 207 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 3: a week this can add up to a lot. So 208 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 3: I guess it's not one big batch, but it's still 209 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 3: better than doing it little one off, ten minute increments randomly. 210 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, getting through as much as you can. 211 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 2: I call it like my Friday punch list, and I 212 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 2: sort of keep a running list during the week. And 213 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 2: as these things occur to me, and as I'm tempted 214 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 2: to be like, oh, I'm gonna stop what I'm doing 215 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 2: to go go fill out all these permissions up, somebody 216 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 2: like no, no, no, Laura, there is a time to 217 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 2: do this. 218 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: Now is not that time. 219 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 2: You can also automate things. So one way that you 220 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 2: can lessen your mental load is to not need to 221 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 2: constantly make decisions. You can make a decision once and 222 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: then roll with it until it needs to change. So 223 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 2: an example of this is taco Tuesday. Right. You know 224 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 2: on Tuesday, you always know you are having tacos. You 225 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 2: don't have to think about it. You don't have to 226 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 2: plan what's my Tuesday night meal. Everyone expects it. Every 227 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 2: time somebody goes to the grocery store, they get the 228 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 2: stuff that you know you're going to be using on 229 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 2: taco Tuesdays. And that's one less thing anyone has to consider. Sarah, 230 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 2: you do subscribe and save right as a way to 231 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 2: automate things. 232 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 3: Yes, we automate our household goods by using that feature 233 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 3: from Amazon, and I'm sure other companies have it as well. 234 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,560 Speaker 1: But this is just such an easy way. 235 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 3: For me to not even you know, I have an 236 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 3: automatic trigger to ask me do you need paper towels? Essentially, 237 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 3: and then I just take a couple of minutes and 238 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 3: then they get automatically shipped to me. Now, I do 239 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 3: tend to I like to maximize my savings with this 240 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 3: particular program, which means I keep more subscriptions on there 241 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 3: than I actually use. So the danger is that if 242 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 3: you do not answer the call to tell them what 243 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,839 Speaker 3: you need, you will get more things. However, they're all 244 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 3: things that are non perishable and we use eventually, So 245 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 3: the worst case scenario is we build up a little 246 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 3: bit of a stockpile. And the best case scenario is 247 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 3: that I just get pained gently to decide what we 248 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 3: need for the household in the given month, and then 249 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 3: it comes without having to think about it. 250 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: Yay. And then you had a pretty good hack for 251 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: scheduling stuff as well. 252 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 3: Yes, I mean this isn't like automatic, but I've made 253 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 3: it an automatic to do item for myself, which is 254 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 3: that any appointment that I leave, I try really hard 255 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,079 Speaker 3: to schedule the next appointment while I'm still there. This 256 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:57,119 Speaker 3: does mean I bring my physical planner to various appointments 257 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 3: like my hair appointments, dental, kids, doctors, but it feels 258 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 3: automatic to me, like, oh, this is just what you 259 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 3: do at the end, and then hey, it's already booked 260 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 3: on your calendar when the next time rolls around, and 261 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 3: it's not a to do item that you have to 262 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 3: give yourself to do later. 263 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: I love that, Yeah, love it. Love it. 264 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 2: Another way to lighten your mental load is to embrace 265 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 2: vertical ownership, meaning that somebody else takes on a task, 266 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 2: but then they also take it on completely. And the 267 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 2: reason for this is that if you're still managing exactly 268 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 2: how things are done, you're not really lightening your mental 269 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 2: load that much because you're still telling the other person like, Okay, 270 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 2: now it's your night to go do the dishes, as 271 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 2: opposed to simply having somebody own a night for cleaning 272 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 2: the kitchen or whatever it happens to be. 273 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 1: Now. 274 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 2: The one caveat with this, obviously, is if you have 275 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: a family, where for whatever reason, one person sort of 276 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 2: knows the schedule better than others, which may be what 277 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 2: is happening in my house. Sometimes it's kind of hard 278 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: even to totally delegate something like make the kids dentist appointments, 279 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,559 Speaker 2: because if the other person does not truly have the 280 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 2: lay of the land, they may not understand that three 281 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 2: is a total disaster, but three point thirty is not, 282 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 2: and would need to come back to you like, oh, 283 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 2: can I book it at this point? Can I book 284 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 2: it at this point? Which by that point you're like, well, 285 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 2: I could be on the phone with tensavas myself doing 286 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 2: this a lot more quickly. So you might need to 287 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 2: assign a whole project that isn't as contingent on other things, 288 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 2: Like you don't need to know everyone's daily schedule to 289 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 2: book the vacation right to buy all the plane tickets, 290 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 2: to make the hotel reservations, to figure out if there's 291 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 2: trips that need to be taken in the middle of it, 292 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 2: or whatever else needs to do. So that could be 293 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 2: the kind of thing that you could assign, right Sarah. 294 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 3: Yes, Or in our case, we have a really not 295 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 3: my favorite thing to do project that is due monthly 296 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 3: for anyone who is in the grades through one through three, 297 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 3: which we happen to have a first grader again at 298 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 3: our house, and I have no ownership of that. That 299 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 3: is vertically owned by Josh. And it seems small, but 300 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 3: like it's a huge mental load relief. And it also is, 301 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 3: like Laura said, like not very You don't really need 302 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 3: to have a complete grasp but the whole picture if 303 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 3: you're just like I'm getting this particular project done. We 304 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 3: also have Josh to a lot of the gift buying 305 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 3: for certain holidays, which is a sizeable task, but you're right, 306 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 3: you also don't need necessarily to understand the whole big 307 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 3: machine to make that done effectively. 308 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can even split up gift buying too. 309 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 2: So we have two fall birthdays in our household, and 310 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 2: my husband took the fifteen year old boy. I took 311 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 2: the thirteen year old girl. We each just bought whatever 312 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 2: presence were desired or we thought would be good for 313 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 2: those people. And that was probably the right way to 314 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 2: split it, because I'm a little bit more unsure of 315 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 2: what a fifteen year old boy might find exciting, and 316 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 2: I think my husband is definitely more unsure of what 317 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 2: a thirteen year old girl would find exciting. 318 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 1: So that was a good way to split it. 319 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 2: But yeah, older kids can take on things somebody who 320 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 2: works with your household. Maybe you can completely assign something 321 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 2: to them. But that is certainly a way to get 322 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 2: some stuff off your plate, as is encouraging kid independence. 323 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 2: So the more things that your kids can do on 324 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 2: their own and without your input. 325 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 1: Obviously, the less stuff you have to deal with. 326 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: So with my older children, I don't want them coming 327 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 2: to me and be like I need socks. Like that's 328 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 2: not a good way to approach this conversation. I say, well, 329 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 2: the better way is that here's a link to the 330 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 2: socks I want and then I can go purchase them, 331 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 2: or even better, for those who have shopping cart privileges 332 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 2: on our Amazon count I've put the socks I want 333 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 2: in the cart and then I can either go do 334 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 2: it or I just tell them to order it and 335 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: it's a lot more simple. Sor you quite given people 336 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 2: access to the purchasing privileges. Yet, yeah, I'm fine to 337 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 2: get them the card part. Yes, so they do have access, 338 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 2: and I guess they could hit by, but I tell 339 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:12,679 Speaker 2: them not to do that. 340 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 1: Yet I'm not quite ready to relinquish that. 341 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 3: Plus, I think it'll mess up my budgeting because anyway, 342 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 3: long story shorts can be hard to track Amazon expenditures, 343 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,360 Speaker 3: as I'm sure is a strategic decision on their part anyway, 344 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 3: But I'm happy to have them put in their cart. 345 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 3: That makes it easier and then I can vet it 346 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 3: and make sure that we want to move forward with 347 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 3: whatever purchase. I also just think being really clear about 348 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 3: getting them to do their own thing, for example, in 349 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 3: the morning, like let's talk about what you need for school, 350 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 3: because I'm not going to manage it. You need your glasses, 351 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 3: you need your soccer cles, you need whatever. And just 352 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 3: making sure to reinforce that so that it's not something 353 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,239 Speaker 3: that continually stays on my list. And then trying to 354 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 3: hopefully let not be micromanaging school work helps for this 355 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 3: as well. Now, of course there's a time and a 356 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,880 Speaker 3: place for having to get more involved when things aren't 357 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 3: going well, but when they are going reasonably well, I 358 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 3: think this can be one where we give ourselves more 359 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 3: responsibility than we even need to, and you can lighten 360 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 3: everyone's mental load to make sure the kids are taking 361 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 3: ownership of what they should be. 362 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't necessarily react all that. Well, when someone 363 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 2: says to me, like, help me remember my trumpet in 364 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 2: the morning, I'm like, okay, mommy has a million things 365 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,959 Speaker 2: in her brain. It's more likely that you are going 366 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: to remember it. But what I will do is circling 367 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 2: back to one of her earlier tips email myself, and 368 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 2: often I will at least be glancing at emails in 369 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 2: the morning as people are getting out the door, and 370 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 2: so there's a reasonable chance that I will have seen it. 371 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: But people can also put instruments like right in front 372 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 1: of the door. 373 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 2: That's also a good idea, buy your backpack something else 374 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 2: that's it's hard to miss it. But yeah, some I 375 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 2: love when kids do start taking ownership of things. We 376 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 2: recently had with the Halloween costumes. My fifteen year old 377 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 2: like started talking about the Halloween Costume'm like, oh, you know, 378 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 2: I guess I'm gonna have to order something. And they say, well, 379 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 2: I'm going as a group with my friends. I'm like okay, 380 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 2: and he said, do we need to get you somebody. 381 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 2: He's like, well, no, actually, just we're giving money to 382 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 2: a kid who is ordering it for everyone. I'm like, oh, okay, 383 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 2: and he'd already given him the money, so I was like, 384 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 2: well that's you know, I really didn't have to do anything, 385 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 2: so I was very excited about that. Another idea for 386 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:29,680 Speaker 2: listening the mental lode is don't be cheap. So sometimes 387 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 2: for things you either pay in time or you pay 388 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 2: in money. And I know for many of our listeners 389 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 2: you might be in a stage of life where time 390 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 2: is more strictly limited than money, so it might be 391 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 2: worth paying for a more comprehensive solution that means less 392 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 2: things that you have to keep track of. And where 393 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 2: we often see this is let's say somebody's kid is 394 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 2: starting preschool and they have had a full time nanny, 395 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: and they might think, well, my kid's in pre schoo 396 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 2: for fifteen hours a week, so I should have them 397 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 2: in preschool for fifteen hours and do a part time 398 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 2: care solution outside of that. But the problem is when 399 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 2: things are part time, sometimes people aren't as invested in 400 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 2: them long term. 401 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: They might not stay around as long. 402 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 2: They may be doing other things with their life because 403 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 2: they're only working part time, and so their other job 404 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,359 Speaker 2: winds up taking precedents and they have to stop something 405 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 2: and it's just or you're keeping track of multiple things 406 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 2: like oh, well, I can bring them to early care 407 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,239 Speaker 2: and then we have somebody else picking them up as 408 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,919 Speaker 2: then you're managing multiple different things, and then the days 409 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 2: off that they you know, you have to get coverage for. 410 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,880 Speaker 2: It's like, well, maybe it would have been better off 411 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 2: keeping the full time and just accepting that some weeks 412 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 2: you are paying for fifteen hours that you didn't actually need. 413 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're right. 414 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 3: The mental load costs of managing a whole bunch of 415 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 3: moving parts versus one general person that you have employed 416 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,120 Speaker 3: full time. It does make a big difference. And that's 417 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 3: not the reason that we did it. There are many 418 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 3: reasons that we did it. But we've definitely paid for 419 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 3: more hours of childcare than we have used for many years, 420 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 3: really in part because it's just a piece of mind thing, 421 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 3: and it is a mental load thing, because you know, 422 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 3: when your kid is sick, I don't have to do 423 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 3: backflips trying to figure out coverage if I have someone 424 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 3: that is going to be available because they're actually really 425 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 3: working those hours, whether they're physically present on a given 426 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 3: day or not. So I am absolutely for that. We've 427 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: also kind of paid cash for various specialists in different 428 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:35,040 Speaker 3: fields when it might not be the most cost effective option, 429 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 3: but it was just the most expeditious option and the 430 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 3: one that required less legwork on our part, and like 431 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 3: maybe we got a recommendation. It was just easier to 432 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 3: go with, let's say a psychiatrist who is not in network, 433 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 3: but you know, is reasonably affordable and pay cash versus 434 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 3: go through the many, many steps of figuring out who's 435 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 3: there and then do they have limited availability and who's 436 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 3: actually good and going through multiple people, Like at the 437 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 3: end of the day, I kind of hate that, but 438 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 3: this is a thing in healthcare, Like we shouldn't have 439 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 3: multiple tiers of healthcare. And also sometimes you got to 440 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,719 Speaker 3: do what you've got to do, and so this has 441 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 3: been what's worked for us for certain things. 442 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean in your professional life too. 443 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,639 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously, if you work for a corporation, you 444 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 2: sort of have the support team that you have or 445 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:21,440 Speaker 2: don't have. But if you're more on your own, more entrepreneurial, 446 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 2: you don't even have to hire like a full time assistant, 447 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 2: but having a virtual assistant for a few hours a 448 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,239 Speaker 2: week might be something that could reduce some of your 449 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 2: mental load. Now, obviously you have to handle this well 450 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,919 Speaker 2: because if it was going to just be more mental 451 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 2: load for you in order to manage the person, then 452 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 2: that might not be worth it. But ideally you will 453 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 2: come up with a situation where there's at least some 454 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 2: frontloading of training the person, and then your life becomes 455 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 2: easier afterwards. 456 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 3: I'm always like wondering what I would do with such 457 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 3: a person. What does your person do? 458 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: Oh? 459 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 2: A lot of different things I mean related to like 460 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,479 Speaker 2: formatting newsletters and doing SEO on the website and some 461 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,400 Speaker 2: of the social media posts and. 462 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 1: Things like that. 463 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 2: So I'm pretty sure you could come up with something 464 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 2: if you wanted to, Sarah, but we could discuss. 465 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 3: You're probably right, and we also do kind of do 466 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: that with the podcast. 467 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:10,880 Speaker 1: That's with the podcast. 468 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 3: We don't do the audio processing or really any of 469 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 3: the tech parts of it. 470 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, none whatsoever. 471 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 2: We're going to take one more quick ad break and 472 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,479 Speaker 2: then we'll be back with a little bit more on 473 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 2: listening your mental load. Well, we are back talking how 474 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 2: to reduce your mental load. To lighten your mental load, 475 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 2: as it were, the biggest way I think in many 476 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 2: cases to have less on your brain is simply to 477 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: care less, because the more things that you require to 478 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 2: be a certain way, the more things you're going to 479 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,640 Speaker 2: have to think about. And obviously there are many things 480 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 2: that are hard to get out of. There are some 481 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: things we do even if they are hard, because they 482 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 2: matter for closely held values. But I think it's important 483 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 2: to ask, when you're thinking a lot about something, does 484 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 2: it fall in that category or does it not. 485 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: So, for instance, I don't. 486 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 2: Keep track of screen time tallies for my kids, like 487 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 2: I don't have some elaborate system for figuring out how 488 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 2: many hours they're doing X, Y and z, or if 489 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 2: they've played too many games, or if they've been on 490 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 2: YouTube too much or whatever. We just set certain hours 491 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: that they cannot have their devices and keep them pretty 492 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 2: busy and let the chips fall where they may. 493 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 1: So that's a topic I'm not really thinking about all 494 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: that much. 495 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 2: I don't want to think about who's made their beds 496 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 2: on any given day. If they're doing that, you know 497 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 2: they have to clean up their rooms before the floors 498 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 2: get vacuumed every two weeks. 499 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: But other than that, I'm just not going around looking 500 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,639 Speaker 1: into it. You mean, there's no ten pm inspection with 501 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 1: a white glove at your house, Sarah, There is no 502 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,600 Speaker 1: ten pm home inspection. 503 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 2: I would like to point out for everyone who has 504 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,199 Speaker 2: trouble like relaxing when their home is a mess, like 505 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 2: there's no eleven pm home inspection at your house either, 506 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 2: Like nobody is coming around to give you demerits if 507 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,920 Speaker 2: there are toys on the floor, if there are still 508 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 2: papers on the counter. I like a clean house as 509 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: much as everyone, but I think you just want to 510 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,880 Speaker 2: be careful about putting a lot of time and effort 511 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 2: into repeatedly getting it reset at a certain time, because 512 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 2: then that can mean you never have time to relax. 513 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this was last weekend. Our house was 514 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,119 Speaker 3: We had just come back from a soccer tournament. Everything 515 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 3: was everywhere. People had various suitcases, and I was like, 516 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:34,879 Speaker 3: I'm taking a. 517 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: Nap, and I did well. 518 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 3: The house was messy, and you know what, I woke 519 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 3: up with more energy to clean it up. If I 520 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 3: had been like, I can't rest until this is done, 521 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 3: I might have been on a puddle on the floor crying, 522 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 3: which I feel like I have put myself in that 523 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 3: position before, But now I've learned to just be like, 524 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 3: that mess will still be there, the kids can play 525 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 3: some games, and I'm going to sleep. 526 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And there are all sorts of things you've 527 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 2: just decided to care less about. 528 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: I mean home decor. Yeah, I mean definitely. 529 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 3: If you come to our house, you will know that 530 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 3: home decor does not take up much of our time. 531 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 3: We don't replace things unless they are like not usable. 532 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,439 Speaker 3: Like we did have a couch a futon that had 533 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 3: a few too many children jump on it and at 534 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 3: some point it basically was like not sitable on but 535 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 3: like even then, we actually haven't even replaced it yet. 536 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 3: We're like, eh, do we need to sit in that area? 537 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: Eventually we will, but it will. 538 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 3: Batch it with a bunch of others and just like 539 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 3: rebuy the same like Ikia stuff. It's just like we 540 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 3: keep it very easy because we don't have strong values 541 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 3: about that. And would you know again, you're always making 542 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,640 Speaker 3: choices and we just are choosing other stuff. 543 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to put the effort into it, 544 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: which is good. 545 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 2: So the more things you can care less about, the 546 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 2: light and lighter your mental load will be. And I 547 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,160 Speaker 2: think sort of as a wrap up to this concept, 548 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,399 Speaker 2: you also want to pay attention to when there is 549 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 2: less to think about, because I think we can come 550 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,640 Speaker 2: up with the story that you know, I've got all 551 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 2: these details all the time ahead of spending all the time, 552 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 2: I get no time to relax whatever. And some weeks 553 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 2: may have a seemingly overwhelming number of details, but others 554 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 2: might have less. I know, I was well aware last summer, 555 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 2: like I always make a weekly schedule on Fridays for 556 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 2: the upcoming week, and some of them during the week 557 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 2: are these like multi page documents by the time we're 558 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 2: figuring out where everyone is going and the rides and 559 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 2: all that. But then summer it would be like, well, 560 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,400 Speaker 2: we only have three kids at home and these two 561 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 2: are in camp, and that's all it is. Like they 562 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 2: go to camp in the morning, they come home in 563 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 2: the afternoon, camp in the morning, the next day, home 564 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 2: in the afternoon. Like I don't even have to print 565 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 2: this up, I don't have to send it around, Like 566 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 2: we can all keep that in our heads basically, you know, 567 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 2: And so just appreciate when that is happening that the 568 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,439 Speaker 2: seasons are very different, definitely. 569 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 3: Like being aware when there are it's never going to 570 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 3: be like a completely clear calendar, but when you have 571 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 3: weeks without anomalies and conflicts and that kind of stuff, 572 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 3: it can make sense to notice it and be like, 573 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,119 Speaker 3: all right, we're sailing in calmer waters right now, and 574 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 3: I do love summers for that. 575 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,479 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't love summers, but I love that 576 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,440 Speaker 1: about summers, or. 577 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 2: Just taking a chill vacation right where you're not managing 578 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 2: a ton of mental load for that either. 579 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 3: I do not manage a lot of mental load on vacation, 580 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 3: and I prefer it that way. 581 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So there's different kinds of vacations. They're the 582 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,680 Speaker 2: one where you go somewhere and just chill. There's others 583 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 2: where you're trying to see all of a country in 584 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,160 Speaker 2: a week, which you know there's going to be more 585 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 2: mental load with that. 586 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: But maybe in a life you kind of have both, 587 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 1: all right. 588 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 2: So moving on to our question, this listener writes in, Hi, 589 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,360 Speaker 2: Laura and Sarah, I love kids. 590 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: I also love my income. 591 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 2: Based on what you've seen, what are the best six 592 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 2: figure jobs for parents who want the flexibility to attend 593 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 2: kids school events? And so we don't really know whatever 594 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 2: life stage this particular listener may be in if they 595 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 2: have kids, if they don't have kids, But we were 596 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 2: sort of approaching this question from the perspective of if 597 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 2: you are younger and you're kind of planning out your life, 598 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 2: so not forty five and needing to switch careers. What 599 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 2: sorts of jobs might you be looking into if you 600 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 2: were interested in trying to earn a lot and also 601 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 2: having a reasonable amount of flexibility. And I think we 602 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 2: both realized this is a trickier question then, and trick. 603 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 3: Your question, And please don't be mad at us for 604 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 3: the question itself, because I think there were people that 605 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 3: were like, how could anyone like ask something like that 606 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 3: and it's not so entitled or something like that, and. 607 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 2: Like, well, we posted on our Patreon community, we posted 608 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 2: this question to get other people's feedback, like I don't know, 609 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 2: maybe there's some magical job where you earn a lot 610 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 2: of money and have complete flexibility and we just don't 611 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 2: know about it. 612 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: So we wanted a better answer to crowdstarce that. 613 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 2: But yeah, some people are like, well, you shouldn't be 614 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 2: looking for flexibility and optimizing that early in your career, 615 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 2: Like if you are twenty four years old, just out 616 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 2: of school, you don't have anyone depending on you for 617 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 2: care then you might be better off emphasizing where can 618 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 2: I learn a lot of skills? 619 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: Where can I grow my network. 620 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 2: How can I move quickly up and get more seniority, 621 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 2: Because when you build that career capital, then you can 622 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 2: trade that in later for flexibility when you do have 623 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 2: people depending on you, and it might be more needed. 624 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 2: But you know, I think people have different opinions on that. 625 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, what am I good at? What do I enjoy? 626 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 2: What? 627 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 3: At the end of the day, can I be successful 628 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 3: at cultivating that career capital. 629 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: I think that's the best question to ask. 630 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 3: I mean, I think in many fields there's some flexibility available. 631 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 3: It might come in different forms. You can do more 632 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 3: shift like work, but that still isn't going to necessarily 633 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 3: give you, like in the moment flexibility. Like if you're 634 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 3: an er doctor and you decide to work sixty percent times, 635 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 3: you're going to be super flexible sometimes, but you're still 636 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 3: going to be totally inflexible on other times. And actually, 637 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 3: I was doing some reflection when we were talking about 638 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,239 Speaker 3: this question, and I don't feel very flexible, even in 639 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 3: my quote flexible job. Like I somehow had this vision 640 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 3: that when I was working more entrepreneurially and for myself 641 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 3: and podcasting doing all the stuff, that I'd have this 642 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 3: very freely flowing calendar, and I would just get my 643 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: task done. And yet it seems like especially maybe yes 644 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 3: I have freedom like six months out, but that's true 645 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 3: my clinical job too. I can move days or take 646 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 3: time off, but if you look like a week or 647 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 3: two ahead, I can't just imprompt you throw some all 648 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 3: day school field trip on there. Like I got interview schedule, 649 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 3: I got this duet, I got beslie plans live Like, 650 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 3: the more you do something, and probably the more successful 651 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 3: you are at it, the more your calendar is going 652 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 3: to be crowded with like obligations related to it, probably 653 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 3: no matter what that thing is. 654 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: Think about Taylor Swift, she's busy. I mean she calls 655 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: the shots. 656 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 2: But yes, once she's decided to do something, she's not 657 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 2: going to just randomly not do the Miami concert because 658 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 2: you know, it was a nice day. 659 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: She felt like doing other things exactly. 660 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 3: So I think flexibility is really complicated. 661 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: Well, it's so because what do we mean? 662 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 2: Do we mean that if you found out two days 663 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 2: from now that your kid was having a party a 664 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 2: special person's tea at their school at eleven am, would 665 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 2: you be able to go? And I think some jobs 666 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 2: the answer is absolutely not. You wouldn't be able to 667 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 2: some jobs you probably would, but maybe not. I mean 668 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 2: there's a few jobs we're totally sure whatever, But once 669 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,240 Speaker 2: you have kind of anything on the schedule, it becomes 670 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 2: a little bit more complicated with stuff like that. I mean, 671 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 2: I think of what I do as being very flexible, 672 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:28,080 Speaker 2: and it is on some level. But if I agreed 673 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: to fly to Florida to give a speech, I'm not 674 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 2: going to not do that just because there was an 675 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 2: event at the school, because that's something I've committed to doing. Yeah, 676 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 2: or even I mean, like you were talking about, you know, 677 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 2: things like medicine. I mean, medicine is a high plaid 678 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: profession and that you can have some flexibility. There's a 679 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 2: lot of people who do work part time in it, 680 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 2: but part time is not the same as flexibility, right 681 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 2: because part time, you know, if you always are seeing 682 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 2: patients on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, you can't suddenly decide two 683 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 2: days before to not work Wednesday. I mean it would 684 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,239 Speaker 2: need to be a like you're deathly ill for you 685 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 2: to cancel all those patients. 686 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, it's a tricky question. 687 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,959 Speaker 2: But I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with 688 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 2: like hoping to have a high paid job. I mean, certainly, 689 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 2: maybe the way to go about this is to aim 690 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 2: for a high paid job and then be really good 691 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 2: at it and turn that into flexibility. And we've seen, 692 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 2: we've talked to people who've done that. I mean, we 693 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 2: know our previous guests you've talked about this. Sarah Laura 694 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 2: May Martin. 695 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 3: She is a Google executive who also is an author 696 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 3: and has a lot of passionate feelings about various time 697 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 3: management things. But when we interviewed her for this show, 698 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 3: was really remarkable to hear how she had really crafted 699 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 3: her day. And I think it was her level of 700 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 3: seniority and her kind of like specialist niche that she 701 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 3: had carved for herself within the company that allowed her 702 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,480 Speaker 3: to call a lot of the shots, and she like 703 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 3: had lunch with her kids every day, and you know, 704 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 3: all these things that she seemed to want. So it's 705 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 3: sort of generic, but it's like, be really really good 706 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 3: at what you do so that you can then leverage 707 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 3: that for the things that you want specifics in your career. 708 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 3: And you know there's going to be careers where that's 709 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 3: less likely to happen. I mean, like I don't know, 710 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 3: like even just thinking about like a CT surgeon that's 711 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 3: at the top of his game is still probably going 712 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 3: to be doing surgeries most days, so he's not going 713 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,320 Speaker 3: to be able to have lunch with the kids, or 714 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 3: she's not going to be able to have lunch with 715 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 3: the kids, most likely if you're doing a surgery that's 716 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 3: super long. 717 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 1: I don't know. 718 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 3: So there are probably careers that are more likely to 719 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,840 Speaker 3: have that kind of thing than others. 720 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, but an interesting question if people have feelings about that. 721 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 2: Let us know what you would recommend. If somebody was 722 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 2: looking to earn a lot of money and have some flexibility, 723 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 2: what would you tell them to go into and just 724 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 2: be like the graduate plastics, go into plastics, that's what 725 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 2: you need. 726 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 3: Except don't because the same thing I think they. 727 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,120 Speaker 1: Don't go there plastics summer er. 728 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 2: I don't know, all right, So Sarah, love of the Week, 729 00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 2: I will go with mine new nice notebooks. I like 730 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,759 Speaker 2: spiral bound. I like the cover to be hard, I 731 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 2: like them to be narrow ruled. I have all these specifications, 732 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 2: but the problem is once I buy them, I often 733 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 2: don't want to write in them. Like they look so 734 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,600 Speaker 2: nice and neat and perfect. I don't want to sully 735 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 2: them with my half baked thoughts, although one way I've 736 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 2: gotten around this is just by enough of them that 737 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,279 Speaker 2: I feel such a sense of abundance that I can 738 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 2: leave a few untouched and write in some. And you know, 739 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 2: at this point, I would say that my supply of 740 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 2: little notebooks for capturing my great thoughts exceeds my supply 741 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,280 Speaker 2: of actual great thoughts. 742 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: So that's probably a good place to be in. But 743 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 1: I do like my notebooks. Yes, you should not be 744 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,919 Speaker 1: afraid to use them, use them with glee, Glee, VIM 745 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,400 Speaker 1: and vigor exactly. Yes. 746 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 3: My love of the week is ordering concert merch online. Okay, 747 00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 3: so second tailor, so with reference of the show. But 748 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 3: I did just recently go and it was amazing and 749 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 3: I did not wait in the like three hour long 750 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,439 Speaker 3: merch line, and it was great and I was able 751 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,719 Speaker 3: to get everything I wanted anyway and it already came. 752 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 3: And just like I think, if you're at a concert 753 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 3: and you see a very very long line, check out 754 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,440 Speaker 3: whether you could just get the same things shipped to 755 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,240 Speaker 3: your house with much less effort in waiting. 756 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think in general waiting in line and think 757 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 2: how bad that would be to miss part of the 758 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 2: actual concert because you are waiting in the merch line. 759 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,920 Speaker 2: I don't know, I just feel like that would be 760 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,640 Speaker 2: totally backward of how the experience should go, because you know, 761 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 2: totally I mean, I realized it's a way to remember 762 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,320 Speaker 2: the experience, but you want to have the actual experience 763 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 2: itself in order to remember it. 764 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 1: You know, just a little thing. 765 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 2: All right, Well, this has been best of both worlds. 766 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,120 Speaker 2: We have been talking about how to lighten your mental load. 767 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 2: Lots of different strategies we can use to make life 768 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,439 Speaker 2: feel a little bit more calm. We will be back 769 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 2: next week with more on making work and life fit together. 770 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. 771 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 772 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 3: or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, and you. 773 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 774 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,600 Speaker 2: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 775 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 2: us next time for more on making work and life 776 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:13,240 Speaker 2: work together.