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Speaker 1: All right, this is the Iron Wrap Porp Podcast coming

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Speaker 1: live from the beaches of Tuloom. I'm actually in the ocean.

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Speaker 1: Why do I do this? I do this for you,

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Speaker 1: you fox you. It's all real, it's all live, it's direct,

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Speaker 1: all right. If I drop this fucking device, it'll be

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Speaker 1: the end of the Iron Wrap Porp Podcast. But these

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Speaker 1: are the risks I take. And uh, I don't even

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Speaker 1: know where to start. I'm just gonna give you a little, uh,

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Speaker 1: a little preview. What's gonna happen. We're gonna discuss every

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Speaker 1: fucking thing that I've done and that has happened to me.

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Speaker 1: I've been in a fucking rain storm. I'm in a

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Speaker 1: town called Toloom, which they don't tell you can't flush

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Speaker 1: toilet paper down the toilet bowl, so okay, so that

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Speaker 1: fucking threw me for a loop as soon as I

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Speaker 1: got here. They also don't tell you about the smell

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Speaker 1: um beautiful town, beautiful people, but just the you know,

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Speaker 1: when you go on like Yelp and trip preview and

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Speaker 1: you know this and that they should mention that you

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Speaker 1: can't flush toilet toilet paper down any fucking toilet bowl

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Speaker 1: anywhere you go. Okay, so I you know, basically, what

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Speaker 1: they make you do is take a ship in the

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Speaker 1: toilet bowl, and then there's a bucket where you you

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Speaker 1: you you, you take your your toilet paper. You use

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Speaker 1: toilet paper, and you gotta stick it in a bucket.

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Speaker 1: Which is confusing because after forty five years of shipping

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Speaker 1: in the toilet bowl, sometimes I put the toilet paper

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Speaker 1: in the toilet bowl, which means then I have to

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Speaker 1: go into the ship riddle toilet bowl and take out

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Speaker 1: the toilet paper. All right. It takes a few days

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Speaker 1: to get used to this, so I decided, fuck it,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna just start shipping in the bucket. You know,

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Speaker 1: two tears in a bucket, motherfuck fuck it's I just

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Speaker 1: shipping all in the bucket. I'm not even using a

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Speaker 1: toilet bowl here, that's for real. That's for I gotta

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Speaker 1: bucket with some sand, and I do everything right in

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Speaker 1: my bucket. It. But I'm on the beach right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to go back into my hut and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna get into this episode. It's called the Viva la Mexico,

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Speaker 1: and this is their Dingo Man Dingo coming live from

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Speaker 1: the beaches of Tuloom. While on vacation in Mexico, I

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Speaker 1: absolutely positively wore my Greats sneakers. Grates is the first

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Speaker 1: men's sneaker brand from Brooklyn. Born in Brooklyn, Greats is

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Speaker 1: the direct to customer sneaker brand that is redefining the

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Speaker 1: sneaker business. They eliminate the middleman and saved the consumer

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Speaker 1: money by selling direct to you be a Greats dot Com.

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Speaker 1: They never sacrifice quality and use premium materials. Pro athletes

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Speaker 1: like Kevin Durant and my Man Marshawn Lynch have been

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Speaker 1: may having our endorsers of the sneakers. Marshawn Lynch beast Mode.

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Speaker 1: He came up with the beast Mode sneaker for Greats

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Speaker 1: dot Com. Go to Greats dot com for off with

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Speaker 1: the promo code wrap r a P like rap music,

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Speaker 1: r ap goes Greats dot Com. Check out the sneakers.

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Speaker 1: The comfortable, they are affordable, they look good, you feel good.

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Speaker 1: They're definitely definitely comfortable because let me tell you something,

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Speaker 1: I got soft, delicate feet, and if I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: that the sneakers are comfortable, trust me, They're fucking comfortable.

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Speaker 1: All right, Okay, this is the Iron Wrap Core Podcast

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Speaker 1: Live from Mexico Edition. I am, I'm back in my

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Speaker 1: uh my hut, and uh you know it's a it's

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Speaker 1: a nice place. I'm staying in what was called the

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Speaker 1: nicest place in Touloom. I don't know who the fox's

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Speaker 1: been doing the trip advisory reviews, but you know, some

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Speaker 1: things were just left left out, left out of the discussion.

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Speaker 1: They're not on the internet, they're not on Yelp, they're

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Speaker 1: not They're nowhere to be found. No one has given that,

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Speaker 1: I mean a completely honest, uh you know, depiction of

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Speaker 1: what to expect down here in Touloom. I've been to

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Speaker 1: Mexico many times. People are fantastic, very uh sweet, very nice,

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Speaker 1: hard working, um great, great service and you know, want

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Speaker 1: to make your trip good. But there's just certain things.

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Speaker 1: As I said before, there was a incident in the

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Speaker 1: basis not an incident. Fun. If you come down to Tuloo, Mexico,

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Speaker 1: be prepared to wipe your ass, uh and and throw

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Speaker 1: it into a fucking bucket or a bowl or something

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Speaker 1: like that or you know, ship in the woods, ship

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Speaker 1: in the ocean, okay, because you can't flush the fucking

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Speaker 1: toilet paper down the toilet bowl okay, and trust me,

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Speaker 1: you will make the mistake of throwing toilet paper into

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Speaker 1: the toilet bowl, and then you will, out of guilty

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Speaker 1: the flush it and clogged the whole fucking place and

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Speaker 1: flood the town. Who funk knows what happened. They warn

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Speaker 1: you and scare you, or you'll have to stick your

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Speaker 1: hand in a bull of shit and take your toilet

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Speaker 1: paper out of the toilet. It's just disgusting. Okay, it's disgusting,

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Speaker 1: all right, that's one thing. But you know, Uh, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. You know, I've been to Mexico in the

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Speaker 1: Mexico City, have been to uh Cancun, have been the

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Speaker 1: Cabbo St. Lucas, been the Rosarto, of course, I've into Uh.

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Speaker 1: I've been to a town actually called Takat. I've been

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Speaker 1: to Tiajuana. And this is like a jungle. Okay, it's

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Speaker 1: like a jungle trip. It's it's it's it's like a

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Speaker 1: jungle in the beach, you know, like the Jungle Brothers.

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Speaker 1: You know, like I'm literally out here in the jungle

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Speaker 1: um and you know, it range all the time I'm

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Speaker 1: staying in Uh. I don't know what the funk it's

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Speaker 1: like hey, or or straw or something. It's like straw

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Speaker 1: and sticks on the top of my roof here in

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Speaker 1: my room. Um, I had to leave the beach because

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Speaker 1: it was just too loud. I wanted to do the

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Speaker 1: intro live from the ocean. But now I'm back in

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Speaker 1: the hut, as I said, But the other night, it

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Speaker 1: was a fucking rain storm in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it sounded like the world was coming to

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Speaker 1: an end. And there's no lights, there's no nothing. Fortunately,

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Speaker 1: thank god, I brought one of my handy dandy headlights.

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Speaker 1: You know, I get them from the hardware store. Every

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Speaker 1: time I go to the hardware store, I pick up

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Speaker 1: two headlights. You know, the kinds of going you you

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Speaker 1: look like a real asshole, but you bring it down here.

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Speaker 1: And now who's the asshole? Not me? I got my headlights,

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Speaker 1: so you know. His raining woke me up, apparently in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the middle of my sleep, and I'm

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Speaker 1: in there with with with Bay, I'm in there with

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Speaker 1: my lady, and I said, oh shit, oh ship, the

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Speaker 1: Germans are coming. The Germans are coming. And I went

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Speaker 1: back to sleep. And in the morning she told me this,

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Speaker 1: and she said, you know, she thinks I need to

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Speaker 1: get my thyroid check because I'm so easily startled by everything.

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Speaker 1: And I said, listen, it's this is that's just called

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Speaker 1: being Jewish, alright, that that's not don't need a fucking

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Speaker 1: thyroid check, all right, that's what happens if if you're

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Speaker 1: a Jew, you know, you you you deal with things differently.

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Speaker 1: You know, smells. I'm very sensitive to these kinds of things,

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Speaker 1: smells and that sort of stuff. So uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just wanna be in a safe, cool, dry place,

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Speaker 1: all right. I'm not out here fucking camping. I don't

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Speaker 1: think that's too much to ask for. And they they,

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Speaker 1: you know, because it's the jungle again. They don't mention

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Speaker 1: like when you're buying your ticket to come to Touloom,

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Speaker 1: Like when you're punching in, Oh, I want to fly

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Speaker 1: on the and I want to leave in the morning,

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Speaker 1: it should say, by the way, did you know that

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Speaker 1: you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet bowl? And

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Speaker 1: by the way, did you know that? Um? Because of that,

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Speaker 1: when you're driving your bike on your your nice you

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Speaker 1: know beach, you know a path you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: just strolling along on your bike, like every three hundred

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Speaker 1: to five hundred yards, it's gonna be like a swamp

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Speaker 1: shit smell. Like these are the things that you say

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Speaker 1: when you're buying your tickets, so you know exactly what

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Speaker 1: you're getting into, because there is a smell down here

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Speaker 1: in the jungle every time of it's like every five

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Speaker 1: hundred yards, you'll you'll pass like a thing and it'll

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Speaker 1: just it'll it'll start and stop, but it's it's contained.

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Speaker 1: But you'll literally like it's like it's like the a

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Speaker 1: mix between ship and like like safari animals, dead Safari animals,

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Speaker 1: like what I imagine like a bore, a ring bore

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Speaker 1: in a pond of shit smells like that's what it

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Speaker 1: sells like, and it goes away. I'm saying, they contain it,

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Speaker 1: and and and I'm not disrespecting the people or the

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Speaker 1: culture anything. I'm just saying you should just know what

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Speaker 1: you're getting yourself into. So you could bring like some

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Speaker 1: sort of like mask. When I'm on my bike and

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Speaker 1: it's degree I'm sweating like a pig, I should be

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Speaker 1: able to know exactly what I'm getting into. Because no

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Speaker 1: one mentions these things. And I've talked about five or

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Speaker 1: six quote unquote friends who told me to loom this,

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Speaker 1: to loom that Mexico, the jungles, this, the caves and

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Speaker 1: the the iguanas, and you know it's beautiful. No one

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Speaker 1: mentions the fact that that that there's that smell and

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Speaker 1: that in my room, in my beautiful hotel room. Well

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Speaker 1: my it's not really the hotels like a hut uh

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Speaker 1: that there would be. Um, there's a like like it's

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Speaker 1: just everything is fucking damp, every single thing. And I

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Speaker 1: walked into the room and the guy's like showing us around,

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Speaker 1: this is the bathroom, and and I'm like, as far

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Speaker 1: as soon as I walked in the room, I was like, ah,

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Speaker 1: because it was like that damp swamps. I mean, they

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Speaker 1: don't even take the time to like air the fucking

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Speaker 1: room out, or turn the air conditioning on or a

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Speaker 1: fan on or do something sage in a place. Because

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Speaker 1: literally as soon as I walked in, I was like

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Speaker 1: and my man was so sweet and carrying my bags

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, and it's like, I can't. It was

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Speaker 1: like a dense, humid, pungent smell that that I that

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Speaker 1: I was dealing with, So uh, you know, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: and I've developed something I'm in a trade market. It's

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Speaker 1: called a humidity headache because when I'm in the fucking room,

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Speaker 1: might I might have a headache like it's like in

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Speaker 1: my in my right eye and in the in the

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Speaker 1: left part of my neck and it just won't go away.

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Speaker 1: And it only is when I'm in my room. And

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Speaker 1: it has something to do with this the smell and

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Speaker 1: the fan and the air conditioning. Uh that that I'm

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Speaker 1: dealing with it, so you know. But as soon as

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Speaker 1: I landed, you know, I had a driver. He introduced

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Speaker 1: himself as Pablo Max. And I was like, what's your

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Speaker 1: what's your name? He said, Pablo Max. You know, he's Spanish.

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Speaker 1: I was, I never heard a name like that, Pablo Mix.

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Speaker 1: And he told me it's usually two hour us from

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Speaker 1: Cancun to where I flew into Cancun to Touloum and

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Speaker 1: uh and I said, ship, well that's a long time.

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Speaker 1: He said, I could get you there quicker, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I said, well how do you do that? He said, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it depends on who the driver is. And

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Speaker 1: I said, well, you know, I want I want to

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Speaker 1: get there as fast as I can, uh, Pablo, and

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Speaker 1: and this fucking this fucking wild cowboy got us to

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Speaker 1: the place in an hour and twenty five minutes. This

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Speaker 1: road crazy cowboy, motherfucker was flying down the streets and

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Speaker 1: nobody they don't give a funk how you drive down here.

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Speaker 1: Nobody gives two ships how you drive down here. So

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Speaker 1: Pablo Max, He's gonna drive us back to the airport.

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Speaker 1: But I'm gonna, like, you know, have a fucking like

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Speaker 1: a like a racing helmet on, because this this guy

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Speaker 1: is crazy, but he gets you there. I mean, if

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Speaker 1: he worked in New York, I mean, this guy should

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Speaker 1: be like a taxi cab or an uber guy, and

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Speaker 1: this guy will be making money hand over fist. The

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Speaker 1: way the way he drove, he was he was fearless,

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Speaker 1: all right. The Iron Reports podcast is sponsored by mac Weldon.

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Speaker 1: They are a New York company. They live and breathe

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Speaker 1: New York. I'm wearing my mac Weldon underwear while I

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Speaker 1: am on my vacation in Mexico. Trust me, it's keeping

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00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,960
Speaker 1: me cool, keeping me relaxed, keeping me refreshed. They separate

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Speaker 1: the loaf from balls, balls from loaf, Church and state,

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Speaker 1: check out in less than a minute. They want you

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Speaker 1: to be comfortable. You don't like your first pair of

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Speaker 1: mac Weldon underwear, keep it, keep it. They will still

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Speaker 1: give you a refund. Underwear, socks, shirts. I'm wearing all

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Speaker 1: of it. I'm wearing underwear, socks, and shirts by mac

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Speaker 1: Weldon while I'm down here in Mexico. Perfect for the

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Speaker 1: guy going on the run or running in caves, or

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Speaker 1: running from the bus, or running to the ocean. Mac

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Speaker 1: Weldon used the promo code RAPP report r A p

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Speaker 1: A p o r T for off. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know this is it's a beautiful place to loom. But again,

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Speaker 1: you know, the little deceptive some of the stuff I've

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Speaker 1: seen online and some of the photographs I've seen. Because

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Speaker 1: the the the the ocean here, I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure which ocean it is, the Pacific or the Atlantic

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Speaker 1: or the Caribbean. Nobody fucking knows. That's the problem. Nobody

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Speaker 1: knows nothing about where we are. But this ocean very warm, calm,

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Speaker 1: It's got a light wave type of things, so it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's got a light wave. The floor of

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Speaker 1: the ocean is there's no rocks, no nothing, And at

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Speaker 1: times it looks brown, uh and at other times it's

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Speaker 1: uh like blue. And I don't know what the funk

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Speaker 1: dicktates that. Apparently after it rains it gets a little

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Speaker 1: bit bluer um. But apparently because of you know, the

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Speaker 1: the al gore and the planets aligning themselves in the

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Speaker 1: I don't know the fucking heating of the planets. What

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Speaker 1: is it called? And I'm not fact check. I'm in Mexico.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't know this if I was at home, but

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Speaker 1: I'm in Mexico. But you know, the climate change, there's

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Speaker 1: an overwhelming amount of seaweed that washes onto the shore

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Speaker 1: Okay CON's and lee and they have these poor bastards

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Speaker 1: out there every fucking morning with with with with like

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Speaker 1: you know, um, what do they rakes and what's they

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Speaker 1: have the trucks, shovels and rakes and then they wheelbarrow

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Speaker 1: them the funk off and these fucking guys are out

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Speaker 1: there bright and early, so uh. The gringoes like myself

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Speaker 1: from all over the fucking world that are here don't

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Speaker 1: see that there's tons of fucking seaweed polluting the fucking

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Speaker 1: the beach. So fortunately they hire these guys. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: they pay them like shit to to come in and

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Speaker 1: wheelbarrow off the mounds and mounds and mounds of seaweed. Again,

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Speaker 1: this is not something so so when you go in

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Speaker 1: the water at a certain times day, you're you're you're

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Speaker 1: just getting smacked in the face with seaweed. Again, nobody

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Speaker 1: mentions this on trip Advisory or any of these bullshit

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Speaker 1: on if you you you Twitter, you know about Tolou.

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Speaker 1: No one mentions this. Nobody mentions that. And then here's

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Speaker 1: the thing about about Mexico in general. As I said,

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Speaker 1: I've been, I've been a handful of place. I haven't

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Speaker 1: been all her The one thing that Mexicans do well

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Speaker 1: with food consistently is street food. What do I mean

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Speaker 1: by street food? I mean tacos, burritos, Uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: que sadas, you know the basics. Another thing, when I

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Speaker 1: was in Mexico City, there were some high end restaurants

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Speaker 1: that were fucking good, but it was like the fifth

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Speaker 1: Avenue of Mexico City, Okay, and they had like the

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Speaker 1: Molay sauce and the molay this they put fucking molay

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Speaker 1: in everything. The Molay sauce. It's like a I don't

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Speaker 1: look it up, I don't fact check. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what the funk it is. It's kind of got a

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Speaker 1: chocolate flavor, but it's not chocolate. It's really good. It's

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Speaker 1: traditional Mexican. So so what I'm saying is is that

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Speaker 1: everything in between that I have eaten, everything in between

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Speaker 1: that I have eaten, has been shit. Okay, it tastes weird,

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Speaker 1: it taste bizarre. I had a fucking lobster. I saw

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Speaker 1: a guy eating a lobster the other day and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I want one of those. And I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you, it tasted like I was at a fucking

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Speaker 1: like I pulled that out of a Ralph's or a

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Speaker 1: Da Gastinos or or a supermarket out of the frozen section,

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Speaker 1: put some seasoning and some butter on it, and this

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Speaker 1: fucking lobster it tasted like that, Okay, like a frozen lobster.

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Speaker 1: So so this lobster, I mean, I'll eat anything. My

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Speaker 1: standards are low as far as food. I've talked to

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Speaker 1: you about how I was raised, uh predominantly in in

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Speaker 1: in the house with my father and and and the

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Speaker 1: kind of things that I'm used to eating, so my

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Speaker 1: standards are low. So I ate the whole fucking lobster

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Speaker 1: I was, and I don't think it was actually frozen,

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Speaker 1: but it has that kind of frozen fucking I don't know,

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Speaker 1: feeling to it. It's not like if you went to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a five star restaurant and anywhere anywhere else

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Speaker 1: except for here in Mexico. Again, it's no disrespect, it's

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Speaker 1: just there's just a certain thing. I mean, I got

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Speaker 1: into a fucking a tug of war with my steak

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Speaker 1: the other night. I had an Argentinian steak medium rare,

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Speaker 1: and it was like, I got a fucking fight with

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Speaker 1: this fucking thing. I'm like literally like in an aggressive

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Speaker 1: tussle with the state that I'm eating. Okay, So it's

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Speaker 1: just part of the culture in here. Like you know,

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Speaker 1: I was through with the lobster had like spokes at

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Speaker 1: the end and like little spikes, and you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to chew the tentacles because that's what you do.

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Speaker 1: We need a lobster. And trust me, just because it's

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Speaker 1: Mexico and it's Toulouma, I'm in the Gulf of Mexico. Uh,

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Speaker 1: don't think they don't charge you. They fucking charge you.

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Speaker 1: They stick it to you, especially me. There's there's no like.

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Speaker 1: I'm like the the the the the guy you wanna

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Speaker 1: fucking have coming to your restaurant or get in your cab.

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Speaker 1: I don't speak and no and no espano. Uh um,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm whiter than the whitest white and and

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Speaker 1: you know, so they just know, like there's just no argument.

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Speaker 1: But I I fucking got these guys this time. I

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Speaker 1: brought small bills. I brought fucking tens and fives and singles.

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Speaker 1: Only you fox, because I've been screwed over so many times.

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Speaker 1: You come down with twenties and fifties and maybe a hundred,

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Speaker 1: and they're like me, no change me, no fuck you

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Speaker 1: as sold me no change. And then they've given you.

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Speaker 1: How much is the you know, the the the the

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Speaker 1: the what is the what's the money? The Spanish money?

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Speaker 1: Pasos they they the pasos and they they they'll screw

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Speaker 1: you on that again. I'm having a great time. I'm

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Speaker 1: having a great time. But I'm just telling you, I

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Speaker 1: came down here prepared. But the food in the restaurants

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Speaker 1: are like, it's great, it's fabulous. I've read like on Twitter,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go to so and so. It's excellent. You

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Speaker 1: gotta go to so and so. It's great. They call

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Speaker 1: to Loom the hipsters paradise. You hear these birds? Listen,

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Speaker 1: you're that ship. Yeah, that's real birds. Those are birds

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Speaker 1: outside my hut. Those are real fucking birds. See, I'm

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Speaker 1: out here in the jungle. But they called to Loom

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Speaker 1: Hipster's paradise. Again, I didn't see that on the internet

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Speaker 1: until I got here, because if you think I would

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Speaker 1: have came down here with these tattooed man bun having

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Speaker 1: bearded fucking hipsters that I actually haven't seen any hipsters.

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Speaker 1: But they're everybody's riding hipster bikes, all the hotels and

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Speaker 1: all the locals, everybody. They everybody rides those hipster bike.

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Speaker 1: But again that's not a problem. That's not a problem.

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Speaker 1: But it is called the hipsters here to birds, here

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Speaker 1: to fucking birds. I don't know, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you could hear him. Um. One thing I really, really

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Speaker 1: truly wish I had while I was in Mexico is

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Speaker 1: my Casper Mattress Jesus, this trip would be perfection. If

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00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 1: I was able to have a Casper mattress in my

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Speaker 1: hut or in my hotel while I'm in Mexico. Casper

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Speaker 1: Mattress Casper dot Com c a spr is an award

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00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 1: winning sleep startup that launched and outrageously comfortable mattress sol

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00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 1: directly to consumers. It has a sleep design and is

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00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 1: delivered right to your door and a small fucking box.

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00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,640
Speaker 1: It's true. I have a Casper mattress. They're so comfortable.

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00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 1: I miss my Casper mattress while I'm on vacation. Free

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00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 1: shipping two to five days shipping anywhere in the United

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Speaker 1: States and Canada. Casper Casper gives you a hundred nights.

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00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 1: Casper is a hundred night home trial. What the funk

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00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 1: man put it in fucking english Man cast. But we'll

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00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: let you have the matchress for a hundred nights. You

365
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,479
Speaker 1: could sleep on the mattress for a hundred nights. If

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00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 1: you do not like the fucking mattress, they will pick

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00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: it up. Go to Casper dot com for fifty dollars off. Okay,

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00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,200
Speaker 1: the promo code is RAPP report r A P A

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Speaker 1: P O R T. Don't forget the T alright, I'm

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Speaker 1: not Stephen Colbert, Michael rappaport. No disrespect to Stephen Colbert,

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00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 1: but you gotta say the T Casper dot com, c

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Speaker 1: as PR dot com. So anyway, so I'm enjoying my trip.

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Speaker 1: I went to the caves um They're called um Sons.

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Speaker 1: These are the caves you could go swimming, and they've

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Speaker 1: been here for years. And they tell you before you

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Speaker 1: go into the caves, you know this one you could

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Speaker 1: swim in this one you can't swimming. But before you

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Speaker 1: go into any of the water, you need to wash

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Speaker 1: off any sun block you're wearing. And I'm like, this

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00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: is like a fucking joke, right, Like I I get

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Speaker 1: some block when I go walk my dog in the morning.

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00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,400
Speaker 1: I wear some block during snowstorms, like I always wear

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Speaker 1: sun block. And he's like, no, no, no, the water

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Speaker 1: stays pure. And this is all in broken Spanish, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't wear any fucking We're outside, it's

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00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:09,439
Speaker 1: you know, seven degrees. The son's blaring, please you must shower,

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00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 1: all right, So I'm gonna go fucking shower and gona

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Speaker 1: wash off my sun black, which I have layered on

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Speaker 1: three to four layers easily before I get into Sonodos.

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Speaker 1: And the first Sonotos is great. It's very calm, to

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Speaker 1: be honest with you, I mean on paper, what it

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Speaker 1: looked like in in in Central Park, there's like lakes

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Speaker 1: that they haven't preserved and they haven't told people to

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Speaker 1: take off the sun block on, and they haven't told

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Speaker 1: people don't ship in the lake, and they haven't you know,

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Speaker 1: kept nice. But it kind of looks like the lakes

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Speaker 1: Essential Park, to be honest, what it looks like. But

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Speaker 1: then when you get close to water is crystal clear,

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's cold but not freezing, and you could

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Speaker 1: see everything unlike the swamps now they're swamps in Central

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00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: Park that look good. They got the ducks in there

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00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: that are all fucked up, probably cancer written and have

403
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Speaker 1: leukemia and you know, dyslexia and all that. Ship. But

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00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: you go in there in the in the in the

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Speaker 1: Sonoto pond and then you're swimming around and it's nice

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Speaker 1: and there's rocks and everything's very calm and you feel

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Speaker 1: like you're you feel like you're in ancient water. That's

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Speaker 1: what it is. And then there was another Sonota that

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Speaker 1: they said, uh, you know, you can't go in the water,

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Speaker 1: So we go in this one and it's dark as shit,

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Speaker 1: and uh, my lady says, oh, ship, there's bats, like

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Speaker 1: like as if she's saying, oh, ship, there's there's a puppy.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, what the fuck? You know, there's the

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Speaker 1: fucking bats and like you know, like there's like there's

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Speaker 1: bats over there, and I'm like, what the funk. I've

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Speaker 1: never seen bats up close in my life ever in

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Speaker 1: my fucking life. And she's talking about it like literally

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Speaker 1: like it's like, oh, there's butterflies. There's a butterfly cave.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'm not fucking going down there. She said, well,

420
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 1: let's go down there, because then there was some sort

421
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 1: of like, uh, it looked like there was like a

422
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: cross down there, and there was like a little like

423
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: what was it ancient Mayan? It was like an ancient

424
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 1: Mayan altar down at the things. So but you had

425
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: to go into the cave and it's we're the only

426
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 1: ones in air, and you know, you would think this

427
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: is like romantic or nice and like, oh, we're one

428
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 1: with God and the Mayans and the ruins and all

429
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: the ship. So I'm sitting down on the thing like

430
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: trying to mind my business and my hand to God,

431
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: my hand to the I am Rappaport podcast. God a

432
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: fucking bad. I have on my Gilligan hat because I

433
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't, you know, let the sun get me.

434
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: And I just wear it anytime I'm outside, and you

435
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: know these places like this on trips, I have my

436
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: Gilligan hat on. Okay, and and the fucking bat my

437
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:35,919
Speaker 1: hand to God, flips by my fucking head, flips by

438
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 1: my fucking heat. You could feel it flap by my

439
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: fucking hat. So of course I go into a full

440
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: panic because a bat by my head. And she's laughing

441
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: like it's a fucking joke. I'm like, you don't want

442
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 1: to run because you'll fall on and you know, you know,

443
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: get fucking did everything sharp. It's real ship, it's a

444
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: real cave. So I I run out of the light

445
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 1: because these bastards, these fucking bats. I'm from New York. Okay,

446
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: if I see a rat, I get nervous. Okay, when

447
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: I see rabid dogs, homeless dogs, I get nervous. I

448
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 1: don't funk with these animals. But but then a fucking bat, literally,

449
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: and I ain't talking about Christian Bale, motherfucker. I'm talking

450
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: about a real bat in a real cave right by

451
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: my fucking head, and I felt that little fucker and

452
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 1: she thinks it's a fucking joke again, like it was

453
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 1: like a humming bird or some ship. So I get

454
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: the funk out of there. Why are you going right

455
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 1: Down'm fucking done. Get me the fuck out of here.

456
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: I had enough with the fucking bats. The fucking bats,

457
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: I mean like it was scared the ship out of me.

458
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 1: And I'm just telling me, you should get your thyroid check.

459
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 1: You you you you you uh you know you. You

460
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 1: easily startled your motherfucking a right, I'm easily fucking startled.

461
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: I don't know who wouldn't be startled by that. I

462
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm not no cave person out last night

463
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: about that straight up, I damn right. I freaked out

464
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: about the straight dog, and the straight dog seemed to

465
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 1: me nice. But I'm walking in the path. It's like,

466
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: you know, eleven o'clock, its pitch fucking black. I have

467
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 1: my headlight on because I'm the only thing. Everybody was

468
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: admiring my headlight all the tours. First she was like, oh,

469
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 1: you look like an asshole. You have a headlight on.

470
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: And then when it got real dark. Everybody was jocking

471
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: my fucking head like just a little headlight. I didn't

472
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: even bring the big dogs in. I didn't even bring

473
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: my big fancy headlight that's extra bright. I have another

474
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: one that it has like three speeds. It'll go bright,

475
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: extra bright, and then it'll flash like if you need

476
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: to give off a signal if you're lost or something

477
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: like that. I just brought my basic, like you know,

478
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: seventeen dollar headlamp. Everybody wanted my fucking head life because

479
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: it was fucking dark. This fucking dog, you know, look

480
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: like you know, a big dog walking towards me in

481
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 1: the middle of the fucking night. I see his eyes, okay,

482
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: and trust me. I adopted a Mexican dog once. Okay

483
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: and and and he was so sweet. When we were

484
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: in Mexico. As soon as we got to l A,

485
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: that fucking guy turned on me. He was eating metal,

486
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 1: terrorizing my dog Wheezy, terrorizing the gardeners. I mean, he

487
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: wasn't violent, but he just was relentless. He didn't he

488
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: smelled like fucking tar. I would take him to the

489
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 1: groomer and get him bathed and wash. Please give me

490
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: the deepest you know, the cleanest wash you could give.

491
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: They would clean him, wash him, scrub this fucking dog down,

492
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: brush his teeth everything. He'd come back. He's still like

493
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: it was like tar. It was like the dog was

494
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: the fucking devil. So when I see a Mexican dog

495
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: on the road in the middle of the night, I'm

496
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 1: not gonna be like, oh cool about it. I don't care.

497
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm not gonna be cool. It's it's mono,

498
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 1: we mono. So she's like, what are you You're leaving me?

499
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: You're gonna fuck Emily's man man and man man for man,

500
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: every man for himself out here. I started fucking running,

501
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: you know, and then the dogs like, Sweeten, it is nice.

502
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: But I don't know that at first. You know, I

503
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: don't funk with stray animals. So I don't funk with

504
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 1: stray animals until I could declare that if if if

505
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: ship went down, I could win the fight. That is.

506
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: That is my rule number one with any sort of animals.

507
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: I don't sunk around. I want to be in total

508
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: control when I'm dealing with animals. Oh yeah, so so

509
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: so yeah, right, Well, I saw an iguana. They move

510
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: very sol but this cock sucker is about two and

511
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: a half feet long, had a head the size of

512
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: my foot, all right, Like his head was like the

513
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 1: size of my heel. Poking the funk out. I'm in

514
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: the cave, the fucking things like leering out. I don't

515
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: know if these bastards can can swim or not. How

516
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: the funk am I supposed to know? I don't know

517
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: what the funk they're capable of. Apparently the desert animals,

518
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: but who the fuck knows. I'm in Mexico. Some iguanas

519
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: could probably jump into water. I don't know. Because the

520
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: night before I'll tell you what happened. We're on the beach.

521
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: All right, you could go out onto the beach. No

522
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: one's out there. It's very beautiful. It's like literally like

523
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: under the moonlight, Like the moonlight will light you. So

524
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: we're walking around the beach and it's nice and we're

525
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: holding hands and it's real romantic and all that ship right,

526
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: And I say, you know what, you know, I never

527
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 1: had sex on the beach, you know, and and and

528
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 1: and and uh, you know, she's so nice story so

529
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: so like you know, maybe you know, maybe we do

530
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: a little something something out here. I don't have a

531
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: talent on a blanket or anything, which is rule number one. Okay,

532
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: sex on the beach, you know, it's like it's like

533
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: a cliche. You want to have sex on the beach,

534
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: you know, around on the beach. So I I'm like,

535
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: I'm excited because we're out here, you know, the beach

536
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: and the moonlight, and everything's nice, beautiful night. It's not

537
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 1: too hot, it's not too cold. Everything's perfect. No mosquitoes,

538
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: no nothing. I take all my clothes off, right, so

539
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: I do a little dance on the beach. That's that's how.

540
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 1: By the way, the name uh el gringo man dingo.

541
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: That's what the local started calling me. All right, I'll

542
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: get into you know what they saw and what they

543
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: didn't see. But they saw me dancing around, and next

544
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 1: day I'm walking around, everybody's going el gringo man dingo.

545
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: You know. That's how it happened. That's how the name

546
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: was given to me down here. I don't remember the

547
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 1: gentleman's name or or the woman's name, but that's what

548
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 1: they started calling me. Okay, that's that's that's a real story.

549
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: That's a fact. It's a fucking fact. After they saw

550
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 1: me running around on the beach. From a distance. They

551
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: saw me running but in the moonlight. I must have

552
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: looked fantastic because they called me the next day, and

553
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: you know, I was. I was proud of that. They say,

554
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: you know, there's that all there, and they were I

555
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: overheard him. They didn't even say it to me. I

556
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: heard him say under their breath uh in Spanish, but

557
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: it was like, there's all uh el gringo man dingo.

558
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: So anyway, so I'm dancing around on the beach. I'm like,

559
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: you know, running around. Everybody's happy when maybe, you know,

560
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 1: maybe we do a little you know, first base, second base,

561
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: third base here. So I'm sitting down on the beach

562
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: so you know, you know, kissing, you know, it's like

563
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: happy days. You know. Found my thrill on Boulevoro Hill,

564
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: you know. And as soon as I sit down, butt

565
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: ass snaked on the beach. I I realized I got

566
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: sand right up my ass, right up my asshole. And

567
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about like on mask. I It's right

568
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: up my asshole, all over my balls. I mean, this

569
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 1: is like fine sand. So it's like once it, once

570
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: it gets on you, it ain't coming off. So I'm like, well,

571
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: let me wipe it off. And I say, you know,

572
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: we're trying to I don't like to get too graphic

573
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: about these things, but but let me just say that

574
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: was everybody had sand everywhere. Nothing, nothing was working out. Okay,

575
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: I had sand all in my dick and and and

576
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: and my hair and my ears. So I'm like, you

577
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: know what I want to do this shine the headlight

578
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: on me while I go in the ocean and wash off. Okay, baby,

579
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: I'll do that. You know. So it's a shot because

580
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to go in there. You know, it's

581
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: fucking black. But the ocean is really cool because you

582
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: could go literally twenty feet out and you could stand.

583
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: The water will be at your chest. So I get

584
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 1: out there, and you know, and I'm seeing signs and

585
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: you know, and I you know, you feel like mystic

586
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: and you know, I had my Grandma Evelyn, and you know,

587
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm laying on my back and it's pitch

588
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: black in the ocean. But but but but Bay is

589
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 1: shining the headlight on me so you could keep eyes

590
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: on me. And and I'm laying back and like, you know,

591
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: I'm floating because you could float it's very salty, and

592
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm kind of like getting one with

593
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 1: where I am. And I'm relaxing. The sand is coming

594
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: out of all my orifices. It's it's, it's it's leaving.

595
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: And I'm feeling, okay, I'm relaxing. I'm relaxing, and I'm

596
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: looking up at the stars and I'm like, oh, this

597
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: is at you, Grandma Evelyn, because I thought Grandma Evelyn

598
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 1: was an iguana earlier that day. I don't know, I

599
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: thought maybe my grandma, because you know, some people like,

600
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: you know, my oh, my grandma's a hummingbird, or and

601
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: every time I see a hummingbird, that's that's my mom.

602
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 1: Or oh, that's my own coin. You know, some people

603
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: are like, oh, I see it butterflies, and that's that's

604
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: my dad and he passed away, and I always see butterflies,

605
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: and I know that's a sign. I well, why doesn't

606
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: my grandma fucking give me a sign? So I'm feeling,

607
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 1: you know, I'm laying up there and I see a

608
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: star and a star kind of moves and I'm just

609
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 1: thinking to myself, Oh, that could be that could be

610
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: grandmavelin up there, and I'm like floating and you know,

611
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 1: everything's peaceful. I'm I'm alone and I'm seeing you know things,

612
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: and then I feel something grays the side of me. Okay,

613
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: a fucking fish or some sort of fucking animal. I

614
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: don't know what the funk it was. It wasn't seaweed.

615
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: Grays is the fucking side of me jumps out of

616
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: the fucking water. I it's like jaws. I I was,

617
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: I was under attack and and and and I was

618
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: I lead. So I'm running out of the word. It's

619
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: a fucking shark. It's a fucking shark. I'm literally literally,

620
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not gonna I'm gonna share with you

621
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: because you used to the Iron Rapper. I'm kissing myself

622
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 1: because I'm feeling like I'm in the fucking ocean. I

623
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: think I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna get bit by

624
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 1: something or a sting ray, because earlier in the day,

625
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: this old prick from Minnesota was working around with a

626
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: sting ray. I'm running out and I'm I literally I'm

627
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: pissing as I'm getting and everybody thinks it's a fucking joke,

628
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,719
Speaker 1: and I'm but ass naked. And then then I get

629
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: out and it probably was sucking nothing. But I'm just

630
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: sharing with you. It's not all bells and whistles. Okay, people,

631
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: it's not all bells and whistles. You've gotta be careful,

632
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: you gotta you can't funk with these animals. You when

633
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: you're going at ocean anything, all bets are off. Uh

634
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,959
Speaker 1: and and you go into the fucking jungle. Don't funk around,

635
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: don't work around like I. I don't sunk around. I

636
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 1: don't want to be one of those Internet people. And

637
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like a story on page

638
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: six where you, oh, Michael Rapport was sucking around with

639
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: a monkey and the jungles of Mexico and he got

640
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: his fucking finger bit off. And that's not going to

641
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: be me. So I take precautions every single place I

642
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: go when I'm on vacation. I'm not one of these

643
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,479
Speaker 1: adventurous guys. Hopefully you won't hear about me falling off

644
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: a cliff skydiving. I don't do any of that. Ship

645
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: It's not for me. That's it. That was pretty adventurous.

646
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 1: That was adventurous. That was adventurous going out in the

647
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: ocean to night. Okay, and and uh, I don't know.

648
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe the fish was Grandma Evelyn. Maybe that was

649
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: the Maybe that was great. Maybe the stars were in

650
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 1: Grandma Evelyn. Maybe that fished skimming against me and jumping

651
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: out of the water. Where's my Grandma? But I feel

652
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: like my grandmother, my Jewish grandmother, would would go out

653
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: of a way not to scare the ship out of

654
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: me and literally make me piss myself, because I swear

655
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: to goodness, you know, there's been a lot of shark

656
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: shark attacks in North Carolina, and I know, yeah, I'm

657
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,479
Speaker 1: far away from North Carolina. I'm on the Gulf of Mexico, Mexico.

658
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: You never fucking know. And of course I love my

659
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: fantasy football and draft Kings dot Com, my season long

660
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: fantasy lant up base lock and ready everybody knows that

661
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: I am heavily involved with the Howard Stern Show Fantasy

662
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: Football League. I love it, I live it, I breathe it.

663
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: But this season I am playing one day fantasy games

664
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: fantasy football. All right, you don't have to wait till

665
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: week sixteen to get paid. I won some cash last week,

666
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: that's true, that's real. Put your fantasy skills to the test.

667
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: Starting Sunday at DraftKings dot Com, the biggest fantasy football

668
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: contest ever, ten million dollars and prizes are up for grabs.

669
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: That's real, ship ten million dollars. It's not fake when

670
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: they show those commercial and DraftKings dot Com it's reality. Okay.

671
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: One week fantasy means no season long commitments. It's fantasy

672
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: football on demand. I'm addicted to it. Okay. I am

673
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: addicted to a play where you want, when you want,

674
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: with the players you want. Go to draft Kings dot

675
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: com and to Wrap Report r A p A p

676
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: O r T for free entry. Right now, I'm telling

677
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: you DraftKings dot Com fantasy football one day, no commitments.

678
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: It's so much fucking fun. It changed the way you

679
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: look at football. It's exciting. I love it. That's real talk,

680
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: all right. While I'm in Mexico. While I've been in Mexico,

681
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 1: trust me, I've been up to speed on my fantasy

682
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:24,479
Speaker 1: football alright. And this weekend the Stern Show Fantasy Football League.

683
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: I beat the snot. I beat the living snot at

684
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: a poor Lisayan. It wasn't even a contest. I beat

685
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: her ass. It was a fucking bloodbath. Rappaport's delight. A

686
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 1: K there will be blood. Trust me, there was blood.

687
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 1: It was a no contest. It was over by midday.

688
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: I didn't even have to watch the second games. I

689
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 1: enjoyed Monday night football. I didn't stress. I had guys playing,

690
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: but the job was already done, okay, and uh I

691
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: I kept up to speed on my phone. I was

692
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 1: traveling down to Mexico during the game. And Monday night

693
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 1: I went into uh al Barrio, into a bar, and

694
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 1: I watched the game and I enjoyed it. I I

695
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: it was an open, open air bar. I had to

696
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: put on a lot of bug spray, um, but I

697
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: was still able to enjoy the game nonetheless. Um. And

698
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: last night I went back to Al Barrio and went

699
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: to the bar and watched my giants and play against

700
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: the Redskins. And and and and and that's where things

701
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: got a little. Uh got a little away from me.

702
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: And um my lady is now demanded that she will

703
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: no longer be on vacation with me during any more

704
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: fantasy football games. And we were supposed to leave Sunday,

705
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 1: which would leave me freaking the funk out uh and

706
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: and and and and grabbing uh you know, my phone

707
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: and internet and calling people to find out the scores

708
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: of my fantasy football. But this, this is what's happened.

709
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 1: We've decided, Well, she made me change the fucking trip.

710
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 1: She made me change the fucking trip. So we're actually

711
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: flying out a day and a half early because she

712
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 1: refused to be around me during fantasy football in Mexico, which,

713
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: if if you want to know the truth, I'm fucking

714
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: happy about. I'm fucking happy to get the funk out

715
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: of here and I'm happy to be in front of

716
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: my fucking TV to watch me kick the shit. This week,

717
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: I played j D j D Harmeyer from The Howard

718
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 1: Stern Show. You know, j D is a stuttering, mumbling,

719
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: fucking prick, and I'm gonna put his hair in a

720
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,800
Speaker 1: fucking man bun this week. Okay, I'm gonna put that

721
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: fucking pony till he's got this rat nous of a

722
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 1: hair due. I'm gonna put that fucking that that rat's

723
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,400
Speaker 1: nest into a man bun, and I'm gonna grab that

724
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: fucking man bun and I'm gonna hold it tight all

725
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: fucking weekend Sunday. I'm gonna have that fucking man Bunn

726
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be controlling him. He's gonna be a rob.

727
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 1: Are you cocksuck? Are you you fuck you? This is

728
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: Rappaport's delight a k. There will be blood a k

729
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: A a history of violence, and he's gonna go down.

730
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: He's got a fucking team. He's got that fucking Gronkowski

731
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: with that cheating time Brady throwing him the ball, and

732
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 1: he's got a tough team, I'll admit it. But Rappaport's

733
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: delight is up up for task, and uh, we're gonna

734
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 1: kick kick the ship out of him. I'm planning on

735
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: kicking the ship out of him. But we're leaving this

736
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: fucking place so I could get back in front of

737
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 1: my fucking TVs for Sunday morning. And uh, like I said,

738
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to, I don't want her to hear me.

739
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: But but I'm fucking I'm fucking glad because watching the

740
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 1: games on my phone and and the bars and all

741
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: that ship it doesn't work out because they got the

742
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: commercials in the between the game. They're they're in Mexican,

743
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: and then they don't they it's broadcast in Mexican. It's

744
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: all funked up. I mean, I love them, they're great people.

745
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: But I when I want to watch my football, I

746
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: want to hear Chris Kownsworth and and Phil Sims and

747
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: those guys you know broadcast the game, you know, Marv Albert,

748
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 1: Ryan Ruco and those guys. I want to be listening

749
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: to it, you know. And then you know, in good

750
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: old fashioned American. And I'm sorry to interrupt, Mexican. It's

751
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: Spanish whatever, Mexican, Spanish, the same fucking thing. It's all

752
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 1: the same thing. They don't speak Mexican, they speak Mexican Spanish,

753
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: so they speak Mexican. Anyway. This is the Iron Rapport Podcast.

754
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: The trip has been fantastic. I'm having a fucking ball

755
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: and and that's it, all right. We'll be back next

756
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: week with me and my man Jimo Nattie. There's so

757
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: much that we're going to go over, so many things

758
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 1: I had to hold myself from discussing. I don't even

759
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 1: know where to start. I mean, the the All Loafs

760
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: Matter campaign that we've started is real. Just just to

761
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,439
Speaker 1: give you, uh, you know, some some guy, this is real. Ship.

762
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: I'll just give you one thing that we're gonna be

763
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: discussing some guy's lady was mad at him, so she

764
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 1: put haba naro, you know, the hot peppers on my

765
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: man's loaf. How could you do that to a man?

766
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: I don't care what he did. I don't understand why

767
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 1: you have to like try to deform and mutilate and

768
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: humiliate my my people's loafs. All Loafs Matter, The All

769
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: Loaves Matter campaign and the Loaf Walk will be happening

770
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: in two thousand and sixteen, celebrating men and their loafs.

771
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: C I Wrappo Podcast and We're out. While I'm on vacation,

772
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: I always wear my American Giant clothing. Trust me. When

773
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm down in Mexico and it cools off at night,

774
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: I'll put on my American Giant hoodie. Go to American

775
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: hyphen Giant dot com. American hyphen Giant dot com. All right,

776
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 1: check out the sweatpants, the T shirts, the heavyweight hoodies,

777
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: the softweight hoodies. American Giant Champion. Cannot funk with this ship, yo,