Speaker 1: Hey everybody, Hey, they're friends. Are you going to sing
Speaker 1: the song? It sounds like you were going to sing
Speaker 1: the song? Come listen. Well, no, I do you even
Speaker 1: remember the song? I don't think you've heard it since
Speaker 1: we since we did it. Yeah, no, I've heard it often.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could. If we were like doing
Speaker 1: a live show, which I hope we do, uh like tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and they were like, get up and sing the theme song,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I think I'd probably get the harmony
Speaker 1: really wrong. Oh yeah, we would definitely not remember. We
Speaker 1: would both sing the harmony. What happened? We totally use
Speaker 1: the melodfinitely would probably use the melody. Well, anyway, we'll
Speaker 1: have to practice for the live show. Hey, I'll want
Speaker 1: a live show, right, you better write to I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio and demand a live show in your city and
Speaker 1: we will do a tour. Let her campaign that's what works.
Speaker 1: Get yourself a self addressed, pre stamped envelope and send
Speaker 1: it to p O box. Look, I don't know how
Speaker 1: the kids are doing it these days. Hashtags. Get a
Speaker 1: hashtag going live show, ridiculous romance hashtag in that order,
Speaker 1: something TikTok campaign or something. You get some gen zs
Speaker 1: in here to help us out. Well, welcome back to
Speaker 1: the show. I'm Eli, I'm Diana. Do we say that already?
Speaker 1: Who knows we've now we've said it. That's usually how
Speaker 1: we meet people to write. Yeah, I do introduce myself
Speaker 1: five or six times, well because I don't know about you.
Speaker 1: But I'll end up talking to someone for a while before,
Speaker 1: sometimes like a stranger, like he'll just talk for like
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, and you're like, I guess I should. There's
Speaker 1: got at some point I have to tell you my name.
Speaker 1: Now it's weird. By the way, my name is. I'm
Speaker 1: Diana by the way. Oh yeah, of course of course.
Speaker 1: And then you're like, funk, they didn't say their name.
Speaker 1: If I'm ever you know this. If I'm with few
Speaker 1: and anyone walks up and starts talking to us, the
Speaker 1: first thing you do is say this is my husband Eli,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna say, yeah, I know, I'm Chad, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like yeah, Chad, and I go way back.
Speaker 1: But if you don't do that, I will have no
Speaker 1: clue who Chad is there. Yeah, meeting people, learning names,
Speaker 1: speaking of names, Oh my god, oh this episode that's
Speaker 1: a great transition this one up. Yeah, this is a
Speaker 1: Diana episode. And if no, that's not a that's not
Speaker 1: a put down, that's actually very exciting. Um. But if
Speaker 1: you're like me, this is how it's gonna go. You're
Speaker 1: you're either like Diana or you're like me. If you're
Speaker 1: like Diana, you're gonna coast. You're gonna be like I
Speaker 1: totally know what everyone's talking about here, this person, that person.
Speaker 1: I know I can keep the family tree in order,
Speaker 1: but I'm here for the rest of us, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to constantly be saying, wait a minute, whose step daughter?
Speaker 1: Was this the third cousin of the second king? I
Speaker 1: mean they're all related, you know, of course, because that's
Speaker 1: how royals do in medieval times. Yeah, it's chaotic, and
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my god, it's so much going on.
Speaker 1: That's what I was like. Every time I was looking
Speaker 1: at one piece, it was like, no, but I have
Speaker 1: to tell this other crazy piece that's crazy. We're teasing
Speaker 1: him out too much. You give it to him. So
Speaker 1: Eli's dear mother, Barbara Banks, Hey love her, big fan
Speaker 1: of the show, extra big fan of the host Elie particularly.
Speaker 1: I think I'm a big hit around the house. You
Speaker 1: could say that she had a hand in creating the show.
Speaker 1: Could you could say that in a way, Well, she
Speaker 1: suggested that we dive into the famous love story of
Speaker 1: Peter the First of Portugal and in Yes di Castro,
Speaker 1: because they are doomed. Romance has been the basis of
Speaker 1: like countless operas and plays and films and so on, etcetera.
Speaker 1: But as usual, you know, we started researching and there
Speaker 1: are quite a few ridiculous romances that kind of led
Speaker 1: to Peter's. So it's kind of hard to tell his
Speaker 1: story without also telling the story about the King of
Speaker 1: Castile and his favorite mistress and why Peter's dad was
Speaker 1: so pissed when Peter the First fell in love within Yes,
Speaker 1: so we're doing it all as usual. We're overdoing it
Speaker 1: so medieval Spain and Portugal not so sexy shenanigans. Way
Speaker 1: too many names that sound alike or are exactly the same.
Speaker 1: Welcome to another Royals edition of ridiculous romance. Hey, their French,
Speaker 1: come listen. Well, Eli and Diana got some stories to tell.
Speaker 1: There's no matchmaking a romantic tips, It's just about ridiculous relationships.
Speaker 1: I love. It might be any type of person at
Speaker 1: all and abstract cons that draw a concrete wall. But
Speaker 1: if there's a story, were the Second Glance Ridiculous Roles
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio? All right? Are you ready?
Speaker 1: In Alfonso the eleven had been King of Castile for
Speaker 1: about three years. He's only seventeen years old, and when
Speaker 1: his father had died, he had been too young to rule,
Speaker 1: so he had basically had to sit by and watch
Speaker 1: these noblemen kind of take advantage of his youth, sort
Speaker 1: of splitting up the kingdom amongst themselves, right like you
Speaker 1: do when there's a child ruler, there's really some adults
Speaker 1: like pulling all the strange Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So these guys were definitely like I'll take this part,
Speaker 1: you take that part, or the Moore's coming. Uh, we'll
Speaker 1: get there someday. You know. They were kind of weakening
Speaker 1: and impoverishing the crown of Castile. They're all sitting around
Speaker 1: you and do that? Did you ask the king? Good one?
Speaker 1: So anyway, Alfonso is watching this and it's like getting
Speaker 1: real piste. So when he turns fourteen, he's like, guess what, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm all enough to rule. Fourteen year olds all think
Speaker 1: they're in charge of everything. Anyway, I was like totally
Speaker 1: on brands, fourteen year old boy um and he basically
Speaker 1: like he took himself to Santiago to Compostella and had
Speaker 1: like a self crowning ceremony and did a whole thing.
Speaker 1: And then he was like, my first project is to
Speaker 1: divide my enemies, try to consolidate some power to the crown.
Speaker 1: Get shipped back in order here. And of course his
Speaker 1: enemies were family members. It was his cousin and tutor,
Speaker 1: Don Juan Manuel, who was like a highly connected, wealthy
Speaker 1: aristocrat and author, and also Alfonso's uncle, the lord of Biscay,
Speaker 1: one de castilla Ado, who was nicknamed one El Tuerto
Speaker 1: or won the one eyed. Okay, So his cousin and
Speaker 1: tutor is Don Juan Manuel, and his uncle is one
Speaker 1: El Tuerto, Yes, el Tuerto, elmerto or something's title's like
Speaker 1: El twerto okay, so one and one, what are the
Speaker 1: chances a million? To jan We're just getting started, all right.
Speaker 1: Neither of these guys El Tuerto or Don Juan wanted
Speaker 1: to give up their power and all their influence that
Speaker 1: they had been cultivating over this child king all these years.
Speaker 1: They didn't want to give it up to him. So
Speaker 1: between them they hatched a scheme. They were going to
Speaker 1: marry Don Juan's daughter, Constanza, who was only nine years old.
Speaker 1: By the way, side note um to the newly widowed
Speaker 1: El Tuerto, the uncle, the uncle of the king who
Speaker 1: it's for. His birth date is not known, but I
Speaker 1: mean he was newly widowed. He was not nine years old,
Speaker 1: not nine years old. He was an age that was
Speaker 1: definitely inappropriate to marry a nine year old, whatever it was.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, there's not an age that isn't
Speaker 1: inappropriate to marry a nine year old, because nine is
Speaker 1: also an inappropriate age to marry a nine year old.
Speaker 1: Say this, well, I think there was a tradition at
Speaker 1: this point to you didn't like have sex with your
Speaker 1: child bride. It was like a way to secure it
Speaker 1: all for a while, and then they grew up and
Speaker 1: then they started doing the baby, and then when you're
Speaker 1: eighteen and I'm fifty four, then it's okay, it's on
Speaker 1: exactly gross, still gross, still gross. Just throwing that out there,
Speaker 1: I don't sure meant to be softens the blow. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Okay, So they're they're saying,
Speaker 1: Don Juan is like, uh, El Tuerto, you're going to
Speaker 1: marry my daughter? That sort of helps us form an alliance.
Speaker 1: You know, people love marriages back in these royal days. Now,
Speaker 1: Alfonso with the king, the seventeen year old king, did
Speaker 1: not like this idea because those marriages meant alliances, and
Speaker 1: an alliance between these two scheme and asked nobles was
Speaker 1: going to be bad news for him, right, they could
Speaker 1: totally like overrun overthrow him, you know, yeah, just totally
Speaker 1: make life hill. So Alfonso the king is like, no way, Jose,
Speaker 1: I'm going to marry Constanza myself, to which Don Juan
Speaker 1: was like, first of all, my name Swan, not Jose,
Speaker 1: thank you. And secondly that sounds great to me. My
Speaker 1: daughter marrying the king and becoming the queen, uh, not
Speaker 1: a problem on my end, make my day. Jose and
Speaker 1: Alfonso married Don Juan's daughter, Constanza instead of El Tuerto
Speaker 1: marrying her, and that totally neutralized Don Juan. I'm not
Speaker 1: an enemy of the king, my daughter is married to
Speaker 1: the king. Were set here. Well. As for El Tuerto,
Speaker 1: Alfonso promised him a pardon and reconciliate Asian He's like,
Speaker 1: can come being castile, hang out, it's no problem. So
Speaker 1: twitch was like, great family reunion, and it goes to
Speaker 1: Alfonso's house like talk it out, They're going to negotiate
Speaker 1: terms whatever. But at the Feast of All Saints, Alfonso
Speaker 1: was like, so, how is everything? Are you having fun?
Speaker 1: Enjoying the meal? Delicious? Very quid or rubber fruit? So
Speaker 1: much for inviting me. I'm glad we could put all
Speaker 1: this under the bridge. We're buddies now. It's delicious. By
Speaker 1: the way, Oh great, I'm so glad you're enjoying this
Speaker 1: meal because it's gonna be the last thing you ever eat.
Speaker 1: And he ordered El Tuerto and two of his nights
Speaker 1: to be executed. Oh, the lanisters send their regards. Exactly
Speaker 1: what I was thinking. This is the worst dinner party
Speaker 1: I've ever been to. Then he summoned all the nobles
Speaker 1: to the town square to hear about El Tuerto's treason
Speaker 1: and of course subsequent punishment. Right, probably is kind of
Speaker 1: a and let that be a lesson to you all,
Speaker 1: like cautionary tale. Let that be a less of the
Speaker 1: rest of you. Juants. Yeah, there, one eyed or other one.
Speaker 1: Everyone listened to me. Do not dare challenge the king,
Speaker 1: and like eighty percent of them are like, okay, he's
Speaker 1: talking to me, all right, So great christis averted, right,
Speaker 1: don Juan's neutralized, El Twrto's dead, enemies, vanquished nobles, nervous subjects, subjugated.
Speaker 1: Everything is working out for Alfonso, just like a king
Speaker 1: wants it. Just all said, working out great and castile.
Speaker 1: But only two years later, Alfonso decided to have his
Speaker 1: marriage with Constanza annulled. And since she was a miner
Speaker 1: again thankfully, this marriage had never been consummated. It's not
Speaker 1: even super clear if they actually married or if they
Speaker 1: were just like super officially engaged, extremely contractually engaged. But
Speaker 1: Constanza did use the title Queen consort in her letters,
Speaker 1: which is adorable for a little nine year old girl
Speaker 1: to be writing. And the queen called sort says, I
Speaker 1: love it in crayon, like she's definitely given me, like
Speaker 1: Princess Leiah and Obi wan vibes, are y'all watching Obi
Speaker 1: WANs very good. I'm liking it. Everything he really does.
Speaker 1: It really does help, alright, So Alfonso decides he's going
Speaker 1: to annul this marriage to Constanza, if there ever ever
Speaker 1: really even was one because by Alfonso had decided that
Speaker 1: it was more in his interest to marry his double
Speaker 1: first cousin, as in his cousin who was his cousin
Speaker 1: on both sides of his family, like his paternal and
Speaker 1: maternal first cousin. That's that's these royal families were working
Speaker 1: back then. The gene pool is so congealed, like you're
Speaker 1: basically she's my father's brother's daughter, and she's my mother's
Speaker 1: brother's daughters gates Maria, my father and my mother share
Speaker 1: a brother. Wait a minute, so you know he's really
Speaker 1: sledging through the gene pool on this one. Uh, this
Speaker 1: girl's you know, he dove head first. He's doing laps
Speaker 1: in the gene pool. But he can't. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: walking laps in the all right, it's a very shallow pool.
Speaker 1: So this girl's name was Maria, his double cousin, and
Speaker 1: she was the daughter of Alfonso the fourth, the King
Speaker 1: of Portugal. And note that is Alfonso, not Alfonso. And
Speaker 1: marrying her what ally him with the next strongest kingdom
Speaker 1: around Portugal. And that was a smart move for Alfonso.
Speaker 1: But Don Juan man L did not like this insult
Speaker 1: to his daughter Constanza or the fact that Alfonso had
Speaker 1: imprisoned Constanza in a castle and wouldn't let her go home.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm a knowing our marriage and no, you
Speaker 1: can't go home. You're gonna stay right here in this
Speaker 1: room at the top of this tower, guarded by a
Speaker 1: dragon or whatever. He did. Wow, So don Juan super
Speaker 1: piste about how his daughter's being treated launched a whole
Speaker 1: lass war against the Crown of Castile. Yeah. Meanwhile, Alfonso
Speaker 1: marries his double first cousin Maria, and that made her father,
Speaker 1: Alfonso the Freest happy because his daughter is now the
Speaker 1: Queen of Castile, wouldn't be happy exactly, just like Alfonso.
Speaker 1: He's like, this is a power marriage on both sides.
Speaker 1: We're lying. You know, these kingdoms that have been at
Speaker 1: odds for a long time. This is good news. But
Speaker 1: he got real mad when Alfonso immediately neglected Maria in
Speaker 1: favor of his mistress Eleanor Duguza. Who could have seen
Speaker 1: this guy not being faithful to his wife. Alfonso had
Speaker 1: met Eleanor, who was a wealthy twenty year old widow
Speaker 1: in and he was so struck by her beauty that
Speaker 1: he made her his mistress. That same year he would
Speaker 1: marry Maria. But as soon as Maria had an heir
Speaker 1: to the throne, who was Peter of Castile, Alfonso left
Speaker 1: her and went to live with Eleanor instead. And this
Speaker 1: Maria was deeply humiliated by this, like it made his
Speaker 1: preference of his mistress super public to everyone knew. You
Speaker 1: know that she was repudiated basically by the king um
Speaker 1: And also he established Eleanor's household near the government in Sevilla,
Speaker 1: so she had more influence at court than Maria did.
Speaker 1: Maria spent most of her time in seclusion at a monastery,
Speaker 1: so she was just fully removed from power. Nothing but
Speaker 1: a breeden the air, like that's your only job here,
Speaker 1: And she did not like that. Breeding the air. Not
Speaker 1: breathing the air. Oh, no, breading air with you. I
Speaker 1: do not care if you breathe the air. I only
Speaker 1: care if you breathe the air. You know, the old
Speaker 1: medieval I would not could not breathe an air. I
Speaker 1: would not anywhere it is black plague time, so you
Speaker 1: could in some places, it meant you would die. On
Speaker 1: that note, so Maria asked Alfonso to give up Eleanor
Speaker 1: and stop seeing her, and of course he wasn't down
Speaker 1: to do that. So she's just fine, just be a
Speaker 1: little more discreet, Okay, Like you're making it real obvious.
Speaker 1: This bitch is better than well, that's reasonable of someone's
Speaker 1: wife to say, is like, keep it quiet, little respect.
Speaker 1: In response, he gave Eleanor extensive properties and made her
Speaker 1: even more powerful. This guy. You know, it's classic king
Speaker 1: favoring his mistress over the queen. And you know, the
Speaker 1: mistress gets so much more power at court. How many
Speaker 1: times have we heard that story on this show? And
Speaker 1: that's what you know, that's why they're always really nervous
Speaker 1: about a mistress. Oh yeah, but they all had him.
Speaker 1: These guys were children, and you can see why, Like
Speaker 1: in our very first episode, Madame da Pompadour trained her
Speaker 1: whole life to be the king's mistress, like that was
Speaker 1: her mother's intention. Further, this is a great position. It's
Speaker 1: better than being the queen. I can tell you that much.
Speaker 1: Historically speaking, So Alfonso super mad that his daughter got
Speaker 1: tossed to the side, right, yeah, And Don Juan Manuel's
Speaker 1: war against Alfonso over him being mad for casting his
Speaker 1: daughter Constanz out of the side was still going strong,
Speaker 1: and so Don Juan allied himself with the Sultan of Granada,
Speaker 1: which strengthened his power and influence. Finally, in the Bishop
Speaker 1: of Ovado stepped in and negotiated a piece between Don
Speaker 1: Juan and Alfonso, and this allowed Constanza to be released
Speaker 1: from her prison tower finally. But at this point, Alfonso
Speaker 1: the Fourth was still so pissed about how Alfonso was
Speaker 1: treating his daughter Maria. He got together with Don Juan
Speaker 1: Manuel and they're like, you know, this guy did both
Speaker 1: our daughters dirty. Let's get back at him, and they
Speaker 1: arranged for Alfonso the fourth son Peter, the first heir
Speaker 1: to the throne of Portugal, to marry Juan's daughter Constanza
Speaker 1: recently escaped from her tower. She was the repudiated Queen
Speaker 1: of Castile. So you've got hang on. Alfonso the fourth
Speaker 1: is really mad that his daughter Maria is getting cast aside.
Speaker 1: He's got another son, Maria's brother, named Peter, and they say, hey, Peter,
Speaker 1: why don't you marry Constanza? And this will unite a
Speaker 1: bunch of people who don't like Alfonso. Yes, absolutely, okay,
Speaker 1: but you gotta laugh at the conversation that must have happened,
Speaker 1: because Constanza got jilted by Alfonso for Alfonso's daughter Maria,
Speaker 1: who he's now mad at him about. So he had
Speaker 1: to go to Don want to be like, hey, I
Speaker 1: know that, Like I was totally cool with how he
Speaker 1: fucked with your daughter, but now he's fucking with my
Speaker 1: daughter and I don't really like that. So I kind
Speaker 1: of see where you're coming from. Now I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe we can do something together. So this marriage contract
Speaker 1: between Constanza and Peter was signed in thirty five, and
Speaker 1: it's stipulated at the firstborn son of the two of
Speaker 1: them would inherit the throne of Portugal and the second
Speaker 1: born son would succeed to the House of Manuel. But
Speaker 1: if there was no second son, all the Menuel property
Speaker 1: would be inherit it did by the firstborn son, and
Speaker 1: that no Manuel holdings would ever ever, ever, ever, ever, never,
Speaker 1: never never never become part of the Castile crown. He
Speaker 1: was like, whatever happens with the Sun's anyway, never ever
Speaker 1: ever never give it to that guy. So they get
Speaker 1: together and they say, man, Don Don Juan Manuel, your
Speaker 1: property is in Castile, but it's all gonna come back
Speaker 1: to the Portuguese now after this marriage. Nobody in the
Speaker 1: Castilian Kingdom is ever going to lay hands on it again.
Speaker 1: He was like, dope, I don't like that, guys, that
Speaker 1: sounds like a great idea. Yeah, so what do you
Speaker 1: think Alfonso did. I'm sure he was totally cool with it,
Speaker 1: very chill and mellow. But I think that before we
Speaker 1: find out what happened, what happened with him, we should
Speaker 1: take a quick break. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back. Okay, welcome back to the show. Okay. So,
Speaker 1: Alfonso the eleventh, the King of Castile, heard about this
Speaker 1: little plot for his ex Constanza to marry Peter the
Speaker 1: First of Portugal, and he did not like it. He
Speaker 1: was not a fan of Don Juan Manuel's wedding planning
Speaker 1: at all time. Choose you choose wrong in my opinion.
Speaker 1: So he decided to throw Constanza in the al Khazar
Speaker 1: prison to her from being able to travel to Portugal
Speaker 1: and get married to Peter. So she's back in jail again, Yes,
Speaker 1: brand new tower. She just got out. Now she's back
Speaker 1: in different place. Two dragons this time, yeah, one above,
Speaker 1: one below. And then he tried to put pressure on
Speaker 1: Don Juan to back out of this marriage contract, like
Speaker 1: don't do that to Peter, your Castilian, even though be
Speaker 1: my bro. Peter is alf Fonso's brother in law, right
Speaker 1: because Peter is Maria's brother. Yeah, don't let my ex
Speaker 1: wife marry my brother in law. I'll be really mad
Speaker 1: if you do. Well, who's your ex wife? Good Stanza, Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought you're talking about yourself. What now I'm confused? Okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so but don Juan was just like, oh, Alfonso,
Speaker 1: you have no idea how much I dislike you, and
Speaker 1: he just just like, I'm gonna do whatever I want. Because,
Speaker 1: as we've learned several times on this podcast, Spain and
Speaker 1: its medieval counterparts allows for marriage by proxy. That will
Speaker 1: practice where you have somebody stand in for you and
Speaker 1: you get married without every being in the same place
Speaker 1: as your betrothed. Sophia Laurn went through that. Even Elizabeth
Speaker 1: Brown and from our pandemic love stories we had to
Speaker 1: do it sly. So it's still a thing, um very
Speaker 1: historic practice, and usually for this reason. It was for
Speaker 1: royals to marry each other during wartime and the Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was actually why it was developed. I believe I
Speaker 1: can't be there, just build a little dummy to stand
Speaker 1: in my place. Yeah, but it'll it'll tie this not
Speaker 1: real tight contract reasons that will help us win a
Speaker 1: war or lose a war. Don Juan and Afonso were like,
Speaker 1: no bride, no problem, and they had Peter and Constanza
Speaker 1: married by proxy, and it pretty much immediately started a
Speaker 1: new war between Portugal and Castile that raged on for
Speaker 1: four years. Okay, okay, okay. So King Alfonso is super
Speaker 1: mad that his ex wife, who he locked up in
Speaker 1: a tower, is marrying the son of the King of Portugal. Yes, okay.
Speaker 1: So eventually this infighting started to worry the other Christian nations.
Speaker 1: Pope Benedict the Twelve realized, or with all these Catholics
Speaker 1: fighting amongst themselves, they're not paying enough attention to all
Speaker 1: the fighting the Muslims, you know, like popes do, they
Speaker 1: love waging war against the Muslims. So he intervened and
Speaker 1: he says, that's enough, Let's settle this thing and go
Speaker 1: fight a different war over other stuff with someone else. Exactly, Alfonso,
Speaker 1: you don't want to end I want to replace. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you want the war, we got the wars. Focus your
Speaker 1: attention someone else. I'm a getting money from about you.
Speaker 1: I want the war where you are fighting someone who
Speaker 1: I'm not getting money from. That way we get the
Speaker 1: money from them. It is very simple. So Alfonso is like,
Speaker 1: fight all right one, Alfonso, Pope, all you three breathing
Speaker 1: down an neck all day long. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: lock up my my ex wife, marry my current wife,
Speaker 1: and hang out with my mistress. And why everybody's bothering
Speaker 1: me so much? What's it gonna take to get you
Speaker 1: off my back? And the Pope says, we just the
Speaker 1: need you to break up with the Eleanor. That's it,
Speaker 1: that's all we want. That's so sick of your girlfriend? Yes,
Speaker 1: she sucks. You keep throwing your wives away. Um. Now,
Speaker 1: Alfonso wanted Portugal's help in fighting the Moors anyway, right,
Speaker 1: so this was kind of gonna work out for him.
Speaker 1: He's like, whatever I need to do to get these
Speaker 1: guys to stop fighting me so we can kind of
Speaker 1: unite and go after the Moors and expand our territory,
Speaker 1: I'll do it. So he banished Eleanor to a convent
Speaker 1: and the peace treaty was signed, and in thirtty Portugal
Speaker 1: joined Castile in a battle against the Moors that ended
Speaker 1: up extending Alfonso's kingdom all the way to the Strait
Speaker 1: of Gibraltar. But as soon as that conflict was over,
Speaker 1: when the last guy walked off the battlefield and the
Speaker 1: treaty was signed and they put their little flag in
Speaker 1: the ground, Alfonso immediately went back to eleanor there out
Speaker 1: of the convent. They ended up having a total of
Speaker 1: ten children together between thirteen thirty and thirty. One of
Speaker 1: those kids was Henry Trastamara, and we'll get to more
Speaker 1: on him later. Just remember that name. Yeah, So everything
Speaker 1: worked out great for him. I guess I just never
Speaker 1: intended to keep any of those promises. Yeah right, But okay,
Speaker 1: you know, it's thirteen forty wars finally over and Constanza,
Speaker 1: after four years of marriage, could finally join her husband
Speaker 1: in Portugal. They would have like an official wedding celebration, Okay.
Speaker 1: So she left Castile with her entourage, which included a beautiful,
Speaker 1: nobly born lady in waiting named in yes Dick Astro now,
Speaker 1: and yes was highly connected in every way. She was
Speaker 1: illegitimately descended and also sometimes legitimately descended on both sides
Speaker 1: from Castilian and Portuguese and Galistian nobility. So again a
Speaker 1: lot of illegitimate people run around who are still very
Speaker 1: highly born because their bloodlines, you know, right, right right? Um,
Speaker 1: so she's very highly connected. She's this beautiful lady in waiting.
Speaker 1: And as soon as she and Constanza arrived in Portugal,
Speaker 1: Peter the first only head eyes for in Yes. Oh jeez, Peter,
Speaker 1: you're no better than Alfonso. Poor Constanza. She's like, everywhere
Speaker 1: I go, I get rejected. I've been in two prisons,
Speaker 1: married by proxy, married annulled. I've had it all over
Speaker 1: the place. Everybody's fighting war is over me without asking
Speaker 1: me my opinion on the matter at all. And then
Speaker 1: I finally get to go hang out with this guy
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be married to who's king and he
Speaker 1: falls from my maiden. She's like, what's the matter with Constanza? Right?
Speaker 1: Isn't Constanza good enough for anyone? You are enough, Constanza
Speaker 1: are enough? Constanza? Damn it? Well, Peter. The first affection
Speaker 1: for in Yes seemed to be very mutual, and they
Speaker 1: embarked on a passionate love affair. Why don't they just
Speaker 1: marry the woman they're in love with? These kings, you know,
Speaker 1: they're not always allowed to do what they want to
Speaker 1: do so. At this point, of course, Peter is still
Speaker 1: the heir to the throne. He's not king yet. His father,
Speaker 1: Alfonso the fourth is still the King of Portugal. But
Speaker 1: it's not long before Peter is showing a preference for
Speaker 1: his mistress over his betrothed, just like Alfonso the eleventh,
Speaker 1: the King of Castile. These two guys got a lot
Speaker 1: in common in that regard. Damnit Peter. His dad must
Speaker 1: have been so annoyed by this, right because Don Juan
Speaker 1: is like, is there another motherfucker trying to dishonor my daughter? Constanza?
Speaker 1: All Right, you know what I do when my daughter
Speaker 1: is dishonored, I start conspiring. So Alfonso the King of
Speaker 1: Portugal is concerned about how his son's infatuation with his
Speaker 1: mistress is going to affect his alliance with Don Juan
Speaker 1: in Castile. So he exiled in yes, to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Albuquerque,
Speaker 1: New Mexico. I guess there's Albuquerque in Portugal. O g Albuquerque.
Speaker 1: But Peter the horny Prince, his passion was not quenched. Now.
Speaker 1: He and Constanza gave birth to a son named Louise
Speaker 1: In and Constanza tried to kind of scotch the affair
Speaker 1: by making in Yez the boy's godmother. This is some
Speaker 1: this is some deep legal trickery, because according to the
Speaker 1: Catholic Church, her being his godmother basically made her family.
Speaker 1: So for Peter and in Yes to get it on
Speaker 1: is religiously considered incest. She's like, I'm gonna pull that
Speaker 1: moral kinship card. But this kid, Louise died after only
Speaker 1: eight days, which apparently caused a little whispering among the
Speaker 1: court that perhaps in Yes had something to do with that.
Speaker 1: Maybe they were in a speculation station. Well do you
Speaker 1: think that in Yes killed a baby? I okay, that's
Speaker 1: dark killed. That sounds crazy, not beneath some of these royals.
Speaker 1: But here's my thought. Here's my thought. Maybe she didn't
Speaker 1: kill this baby. She was just like, you know, I've
Speaker 1: got him in a little in his little uh bed here,
Speaker 1: and I'm going down by the river and let me
Speaker 1: just set you down for a second while I picked
Speaker 1: some flowers. Oh where is that baby? I just set
Speaker 1: him down a little floating bed right at the edge
Speaker 1: of the river, and he's just gone, you clumsy, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. And yes, wow, she hold him in his arms. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and still yeah, so this is my godson. I have
Speaker 1: to make sure that his raft is extra floaty justin case. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted to be prepared. I don't know. I'm also like, well,
Speaker 1: I think I think Peter and Constanza were like second cousins,
Speaker 1: so you know, at some point the babies are going
Speaker 1: to have some health issues and they're not going to
Speaker 1: live very long, so it could just be that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, ship, I love to accuse people on murder,
Speaker 1: so this speculation train well, and it's true. At the
Speaker 1: end of the day, we can definitely see why people
Speaker 1: thought this, why these whisperings were happening at court, because
Speaker 1: it's it wouldn't have been the craziest thing to happen.
Speaker 1: People did it frequently. I guess, like it was just
Speaker 1: shenanigans with the babies and the lineages and everything just
Speaker 1: was so common. That's why they had so many. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I guess so they were like, just in
Speaker 1: case when I have twelve heirs to the throne, so
Speaker 1: that you know, they can't get through all of them
Speaker 1: scatter into the winds. You'll never find them all. All
Speaker 1: my bastards litter this kingdom. So yeah, her little scheme
Speaker 1: to make in Yes the godmother did not work. But
Speaker 1: in thirty five can Stanza gave birth to the heir Ferdinand.
Speaker 1: That was good news. And then in thirteen forty nine
Speaker 1: she died giving birth to a daughter. Also died only
Speaker 1: a few days later. That's very sad. So that is
Speaker 1: very sad. Again, not an uncommon story in medieval times
Speaker 1: particularly um. But yeah, she died and Peter was mingle
Speaker 1: and he was not ready to mingle. Alfonso really wanted him.
Speaker 1: He was like getting him on tinder and like check
Speaker 1: all these bibs. His dad, Yeah, his dad really was
Speaker 1: just like you need to remarry? Sure, I mean, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you need to remarry? Um, of course you do.
Speaker 1: You're a young king. You got the queen, makes sense.
Speaker 1: But instead of being tempted by any of these royal honeys,
Speaker 1: he moved in within yes, and started living with her
Speaker 1: in secret, and then she started having children with him.
Speaker 1: I mean she gave birth to their first son in
Speaker 1: thirteen fifty. They named him Afonso, and that just feels
Speaker 1: a little bit like a rost to me, because he's
Speaker 1: like my legitimate son with my wife, who you approve of.
Speaker 1: I'm naming Ferdinand hat but my first son, with my
Speaker 1: illegitimate with my illegitimate mistress, who you don't approve of,
Speaker 1: I'm naming her after you. It just feels like appointed
Speaker 1: name to pick. Wow. However, that kid did die shortly
Speaker 1: after his children. But then she had two other sons
Speaker 1: and a daughter between thirteen fifty one and thirteen fifty four,
Speaker 1: and they were doing great. In fact, her sons were
Speaker 1: healthier than Peter's legitimate air Ferdinand and Afonso knew that
Speaker 1: that was going to be a problem in the near future. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's like my my grandson, heir to the throne, he's
Speaker 1: not doing so hot, and you got these other kids
Speaker 1: turning around with your mistress. Either he's going to die
Speaker 1: of natural causes, are they're going to think he's weak
Speaker 1: enough to overthrow because he is. And a lot of
Speaker 1: that concern came from the fact that over in Castile
Speaker 1: in thirteen fifty Alfonso the King had finally died and
Speaker 1: his legitimate son with Maria, Peter of Castile, had Peter
Speaker 1: alert this is our second Peter Peters he inherited the throne.
Speaker 1: So Peter, the son of Alfonso and Maria, King of Castile,
Speaker 1: and then you've got Peter the first uh, the son
Speaker 1: of the king of Portugal, Peter Castile, Peter Portugal, Peter Portugal,
Speaker 1: Peter Castile. Love it. But Alfonso's illegitimate son with his mistress.
Speaker 1: Remember Eleanor was Henry Trastamara we talked about earlier. He
Speaker 1: immediately threw his hat in the ring. He pulled a
Speaker 1: Rendley Marathi and he was like, actually I should be king,
Speaker 1: and Castile was thrown into a civil war. Now Alfonso
Speaker 1: is looking at this and he's like, this is exactly
Speaker 1: what I'm worried about. My grandson, my you know, half grandchild.
Speaker 1: What is that? My my illegitimate grandchildren with the mistress.
Speaker 1: Once my son Peter takes the throne in Portugal, all
Speaker 1: those guys are gonna be fighting over who inherits next.
Speaker 1: Alfonso himself had had the similar struggle against his own
Speaker 1: bastard brothers when he came to power, and it might
Speaker 1: be the reason he himself never had a mistress more
Speaker 1: trouble than their worth. He apparently broke a long tradition
Speaker 1: of Portuguese kings by not having any legitimate children at all.
Speaker 1: And it's they think that it's because he and his
Speaker 1: Queen Beatrice got along super well. Oh been super in
Speaker 1: love or they just respected each other a lot. And
Speaker 1: he seriously was like, I do not want y'all to
Speaker 1: be dealing with these half brothers running around trying to
Speaker 1: cause strife. Unlike my predecessors and my son. I know
Speaker 1: where babies come from, and I'm not going to go
Speaker 1: start doing that right. But you know, the more immediate
Speaker 1: problem here was that in Yez's brothers, who were two
Speaker 1: powerful Galician noblemen, were becoming his son, Peter's most trusted advisers.
Speaker 1: This is Peter, Prince of Portugal. He started giving these
Speaker 1: two guys important positions at court. He's like, hey, you
Speaker 1: guys are my are my mistress's brothers? Yeah, whatever you
Speaker 1: want getting here, hang out, tell me what to do.
Speaker 1: The de Castro brothers are here. Time for a party now.
Speaker 1: These guys were allied with Henry Trostamara, who was hiding
Speaker 1: out in Portugal because he'd been exiled by his brother,
Speaker 1: and Afonso, the King of Portugal, worried that once he
Speaker 1: himself died, the Portuguese throne was going to fall into
Speaker 1: Castilian hands because you've got these two, uh, basically pro
Speaker 1: Henry Castilians who want to overthrow Peter the King of Castile.
Speaker 1: They wanted, they're they're they're saying Henry has the right
Speaker 1: to the throne, and their buddies with Peter Portugal. So
Speaker 1: it's Justo's whole thing was that the Castilian lands would
Speaker 1: become Portuguese, not that the Portuguese lands would go Castilians,
Speaker 1: just the opposite. I said, Oh that planning for nothing.
Speaker 1: So many weddings. Now, At first, he was so sure
Speaker 1: that Peter's infatuation would burn itself out that he just
Speaker 1: did the tender thing right. He's just like telling him
Speaker 1: about royal princess. As the royal princess. He's like, marry
Speaker 1: this one, what about this one? What about this one?
Speaker 1: She's hot, she's from a special place that we need,
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever, and this one's a powerful marriage,
Speaker 1: let's do it. And Peter's basically like, oh, father, I'm
Speaker 1: only too happy to remarry. I'll do it today if
Speaker 1: you like, but I'll only marry and yes, Dick Castro
Speaker 1: and Afonso is like, god damn it, Peter, No, she's
Speaker 1: the only person I won't let you marry. Basically, so
Speaker 1: finally he realized he's fighting a losing battle. Peter is
Speaker 1: not going to give up in Yes, he just needed
Speaker 1: to get rid of it, Yes, and he needed to
Speaker 1: do it fast. So he decided to take a page
Speaker 1: out of his daughter's book. Maria. That's right, because back
Speaker 1: in thirteen fifty, when Alfonso the eleventh had died, Maria
Speaker 1: wanted revenge on her husband's mistress because she was the favorite,
Speaker 1: you know, and she didn't like that ship. She felt rejected. Yeah, Eleanor,
Speaker 1: she's like Eleanor Duguzman is not is her son and
Speaker 1: on grata around here, and so she threw her son,
Speaker 1: had Eleanor arrested, and then in thirteen fifty one ordered
Speaker 1: her execution, and in that way she was revenged upon
Speaker 1: the mistress who her husband liked better than because I
Speaker 1: guess she couldn't kill the husband, so she had to
Speaker 1: kill someone about it. Fury, they say, that's what they say.
Speaker 1: Someone said that. And Alfonso, her father, was like m
Speaker 1: brutal but effective, so he had in yes, imprisoned in
Speaker 1: a convent in thirteen fifty four, and in thirteen fifty
Speaker 1: five he ordered her execution. Damn. So he just copied
Speaker 1: what Maria did to Eleanor definitely, and yes, so yeah,
Speaker 1: three guys went to the convent and and yes, was
Speaker 1: beheaded in front of one of her young children, which
Speaker 1: is pretty fucked up. I don't know why they couldn't
Speaker 1: just drag the kid away or like take her somewhere.
Speaker 1: These guys are not good at their jobs. Terrible. So
Speaker 1: when Peter heard this, Peter Portugal, of course he was
Speaker 1: in rage, incandescent with rage. His love of his life
Speaker 1: and also, you killed her in front of one of
Speaker 1: my kids with her. That is not cool, very uncool.
Speaker 1: So he put himself in charge of the army and
Speaker 1: he launched an offense against his father, but it was
Speaker 1: quashed within a year and they were reconciled with one another.
Speaker 1: And shortly after, in thirty seven, Afonso died and Peter
Speaker 1: the First became the king of Portugal. And now he
Speaker 1: could have it all his way, and we will find
Speaker 1: out what way that was right after this, Right back,
Speaker 1: welcome back to the show, everybody. Okay, So Peter Portugal
Speaker 1: is king. Now he's super mad that his his beloved
Speaker 1: mistress has been killed. And now he's king. His dad's
Speaker 1: out of the picture. He's in charge, so he immediately
Speaker 1: went and told everyone that he had married in Yes,
Speaker 1: in secret in thirteen fifty four, and that their children
Speaker 1: were actually legitimate and in Yes was the rightful Queen
Speaker 1: of Portugal. Oh wow, really, everyone said, are you sure?
Speaker 1: Let me can? I can? You can? I talk to
Speaker 1: your supervisor about that. No, I'm the king. No one's
Speaker 1: above me, So there is no proof at all that
Speaker 1: any wedding took place. But he's the king, you know. Again,
Speaker 1: who's who's gonna question that? So everyone just kind of
Speaker 1: had to take his word for it. Only later on
Speaker 1: it actually was litigated because the illegitimate son was like
Speaker 1: vying for the throne and was like, well, if you
Speaker 1: let you're not legitimate because you're from this illegitimate strain.
Speaker 1: They never married, And then they said no, I mean
Speaker 1: it was legitimate enough that they inherited. So at this
Speaker 1: point and anyway, it turned into a whole litigation like
Speaker 1: a long time later later on. Yeah, so they're kind
Speaker 1: of like, basically they're married posthumously because everyone agreed that
Speaker 1: they were married sort of, but there probably was the
Speaker 1: ceremony or any paperwork. If you believe it hard enough,
Speaker 1: it's true, it's true. So in thirteen sixty Peter Portugal
Speaker 1: dug up and yes this body and transported it in
Speaker 1: a grand procession to be royally intooped. He ended up
Speaker 1: having matching marble coffins made for them both, and they
Speaker 1: were elaborately decorated with the story of their love. I
Speaker 1: wonder if I wonder if Constanza made an appearance and
Speaker 1: there at all her out, but they did include the
Speaker 1: b heading. Oh man, it was very true to life.
Speaker 1: So perhaps constanzas in there somewhere, like with a big
Speaker 1: X circle Constanza, I know, right, And maybe he had
Speaker 1: no ill will towards Constanza was I just love this lady.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Well you're fine, thanks for having my kids,
Speaker 1: right Constanza pen through enough for real. So these tombs
Speaker 1: are like elaborately decorated. They've got the story of their
Speaker 1: love all carved out in them, and the words until
Speaker 1: the End of the World were carved into the top,
Speaker 1: which is quite romantic. Romantic, and these tombs are placed
Speaker 1: facing one another, the idea of being at the last judgment.
Speaker 1: These two will rise from the dead facing one another.
Speaker 1: They be the first thing they see and they rise
Speaker 1: from the dead, which is creepy. And his zombies look
Speaker 1: look like always. Um. It does seem that Peter Portugal
Speaker 1: never remarried either, Um, though he did have another illegitimate child,
Speaker 1: John of Avis in thirty seven, with a woman named Teresa.
Speaker 1: We'll get back to John of Avis in a little bit.
Speaker 1: Legend has it that Peter didn't stop at a grand
Speaker 1: funeral procession for in Yes, though he also had her
Speaker 1: decaying body dressed in royal coronation clothes and jewels, and
Speaker 1: had her propped up on the throne and made nobles
Speaker 1: like come in and kiss her hands and give her
Speaker 1: all the royal treatment and subjugation that she was denied
Speaker 1: in life. Now, apparently this story only appears in a
Speaker 1: play that was written in fifteen seventy seven. Of course,
Speaker 1: so many years after the occasions of this story. So
Speaker 1: it's not likely that that is true. You know, that's
Speaker 1: not something that's out of bounds for royal to do.
Speaker 1: It's you happened, But I'm not sure that actually happened here. Um. However,
Speaker 1: Peter and and Yes is doomed love and his struggle
Speaker 1: with his father, and like all these great themes, you know,
Speaker 1: naturally inspired over twenty operas and countless authors and playwrights
Speaker 1: and stuff, and they nearly always include this legend, this
Speaker 1: motif and because that's that's good storytelling, honest. A weekend
Speaker 1: at Bernie's like decaying corpse in a beautiful velvet cown. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that really puts a punch at the hand that
Speaker 1: some noble has to be like, right, there's rings on it,
Speaker 1: you know, it's true. They're like for the stage. It's perfect.
Speaker 1: It's reminding me of we're watching The Great right now,
Speaker 1: we're in the middle of season one. Yeah, it's reminded
Speaker 1: me of that with his mother's corpse, all those fancy
Speaker 1: clothes Royally Royal, Oh Royals is so crazy. So Peter
Speaker 1: Port should go here is also still super piste about
Speaker 1: this woman being executed, and he's looking for those three
Speaker 1: executioners themselves, and in thirteen sixty one, through some super sleuthing,
Speaker 1: he found them. One of the three managed to escape,
Speaker 1: but the other two were put on trial, where Peter
Speaker 1: declared them guilty. I'm like, he put them on trial
Speaker 1: just to talk to them in public because he was
Speaker 1: the judge sangaroo court. Yeah, yeah, I already knew what
Speaker 1: I was going to do with you when I went
Speaker 1: looking for you. Yes. He said in court that they
Speaker 1: had ripped his heart out when they killed in Yes,
Speaker 1: so that it was only fair for him to do
Speaker 1: the same with them, And according to contemporary accounts, he
Speaker 1: ripped their hearts out of their chests with his bare hands,
Speaker 1: one of them straight through the front and one of
Speaker 1: them from the back. Total collima moment. That is crazy,
Speaker 1: and I love it and I hate it. How do
Speaker 1: you like just punch your way through somebody's I'm going
Speaker 1: to go ahead and say I don't think no, I
Speaker 1: don't think it can happen. I mean, maybe he like
Speaker 1: carved him open and then pulled the hearts out to
Speaker 1: make his point about pulverizing his heart. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that's how they died. I feel like he must
Speaker 1: have posthumously removed them. Maybe not, but ipetially from the back,
Speaker 1: like you have to get Well, here's the thing. I
Speaker 1: dressed it up in my mind as we're reading it,
Speaker 1: that he's just like like that scene in Dumb and Dumber,
Speaker 1: he's just punching right through their chest. But when you
Speaker 1: when you point out that, like maybe he did it
Speaker 1: after like carving them a bit, then they might have
Speaker 1: still been alive. He was very mad, he was they
Speaker 1: did something very fucked up. He was very upset with them. Well,
Speaker 1: this nasty action earned him his nickname Peter the Cruel,
Speaker 1: which is one of those where I'm like, I guess
Speaker 1: that sounded way worse back then, because I'd be like,
Speaker 1: Peter the brutally horrific heart grabbing monster, Peter the heart pulverizer,
Speaker 1: Peter the Cruel, Peter the Cleaver. Yeah, Peter the Cruel
Speaker 1: sounds like he like Pete on somebody's stoop or something sometime,
Speaker 1: or like, you know, he just he was. He was unlikable.
Speaker 1: He was like unpleasant to be around because he was
Speaker 1: kind of insulting, like a rude dude, Peter the Rude.
Speaker 1: He ripped my heart out, how rude. Medieval times must
Speaker 1: have been dark as ship and they're like, well he
Speaker 1: just ripped a couple of guys hearts. Sound that kind
Speaker 1: of deserved it. I guess he's just a little rude.
Speaker 1: That's cruel. Yeah, it's not like he's terrible, right, Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: Peter the Cruel is actually a nickname that he shares
Speaker 1: with his nephew, Peter of Castile. For him, you mean
Speaker 1: Maria and Alfonso's son, King of Castile, that's right, who
Speaker 1: is currently fighting for control of Castile against his illegitimate
Speaker 1: brother Henry trust Tomorrow, the son of Eleanor. So they're
Speaker 1: both named Peter, they're both neighboring country rulers at the
Speaker 1: same time in history, and they're both nicknamed the Cruel.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't there have been like a database for nicknames? Exactly?
Speaker 1: Where's the brand awareness? Where is where is the cohesion?
Speaker 1: I thought we were overloaded with wands in the beginning,
Speaker 1: but it turns out there's Peters all over the place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you got one, and I got Peters a million to Peter,
Speaker 1: Peter to Jane. So Peter of Castile got the nickname
Speaker 1: Peter the Cruel because some of his Catholic clergy sided
Speaker 1: with Henry of trust Amara, so in thirteen sixty six
Speaker 1: he ordered their executions, and thereafter his detractors painted him
Speaker 1: as a murderer of pious clergyman and worse than that,
Speaker 1: a pro Jewish king. What horrible because they were super Catholic, right,
Speaker 1: very anti Semitic time um, and Peter of Castile was actually,
Speaker 1: by medieval standards friendly to his Jewish subjects Harrison. Henry
Speaker 1: of trust Amara loved a pogrom and he would costly
Speaker 1: be just executing Jewish people, and Peter would try to
Speaker 1: suppress them, so that they were using that against him,
Speaker 1: to call him the king of the Jews and like
Speaker 1: turn Catholics against him, because he was like, what if
Speaker 1: I don't do that? Exactly, So Peter of Castile's supporters
Speaker 1: call him Peter the Just instead of Peter the Cruel,
Speaker 1: which funnily enough, is also something he has in common
Speaker 1: with Peter of Portugal. They were both Peter the Cruel
Speaker 1: depending on how you're talking to So thanks a lot, guys,
Speaker 1: You were not creative with these names. Did anybody ever
Speaker 1: see him in the same room at the same time?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well he was his own nephew, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. So anyway, yeah, Peter of Castile was losing
Speaker 1: a lot of allies. Over the years, more and more
Speaker 1: noblemen were recognizing Henry trust Amara as the true king
Speaker 1: of Castile. You mean, the big asshole with no claim
Speaker 1: to power who was like a bigot and an anti
Speaker 1: semi managed to get more, uh loud and violent followers
Speaker 1: to join up with him. Weirdly, yes, who knew weirdly,
Speaker 1: it's almost like you could learn something from history. Almost.
Speaker 1: But we'll come on, who wants to do that? Um?
Speaker 1: And I don't want to act like Peter of Castile
Speaker 1: was like a perfect something like that. He's certainly did
Speaker 1: some crazy ship too, but um, but I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm certainly more on the side of Peter the just
Speaker 1: if he was like, why don't we just not kill
Speaker 1: all these Jewish people for no reason? So anyway, finally
Speaker 1: in thirteen sixty nine, Peter of Castile decided to confront
Speaker 1: his brother on the battlefield and they had an epic battle,
Speaker 1: and Henry won, and so Peter hold up in a fortress.
Speaker 1: So Henry sent an envoy named Bertrand to get Clon
Speaker 1: to open up negotiations with Peter of Castile, you know,
Speaker 1: to like negotiate his surrender. And Peter offered to get
Speaker 1: Clon two hundred thousand gold coins and several towns to
Speaker 1: betray Henry, you know, help him out. That's a pretty
Speaker 1: good deal. That's a lot of money, that's a lot
Speaker 1: of towns, So do get Cloon immediately went back to
Speaker 1: Henry and told him all about the deal, and got
Speaker 1: Henry to give him even more goal in property to
Speaker 1: double across Peter Man classic, Hey, if somebody ever offers
Speaker 1: you a bribe to go against the person who hired
Speaker 1: you in the first place, go back to the person
Speaker 1: who hired you and say, hey, he's gonna offer me more.
Speaker 1: You want to the value here? So did get Klan
Speaker 1: tells Peter he'll accept the deal, and he leads him
Speaker 1: into his tent to get it all agreed upon. But
Speaker 1: when Peter Castile enters the tent, Henry is there ship
Speaker 1: and they stare at each other and they realize they
Speaker 1: don't know who each other is. They don't recognize each other.
Speaker 1: It's kind of hilarious because, according to the historian Lopez
Speaker 1: the Ayala, they just kind of stood there looking at
Speaker 1: each other for a minute until get Clown was like,
Speaker 1: this is your enemy. And King Henry is like, wait,
Speaker 1: are you Peter? Are you Peter of Castile? And Peter
Speaker 1: said yes, I am, I am he And so King
Speaker 1: Henry runs over heads him in the face with a
Speaker 1: knife and then stabbed him until he died, and then
Speaker 1: he left his body out in public for three days
Speaker 1: to be abused and humiliated by anyone who wanted to
Speaker 1: just cruel and Henry the cruel. Henry went on to
Speaker 1: rule Castile until thirteen seventy nine. Back in Portugal, Afonso's
Speaker 1: predictions came true when Peter the First died in thirteen
Speaker 1: sixty seven. His legitimate son Ferdinand became the king, but
Speaker 1: then he died in three probably from being poisoned. So
Speaker 1: Afonso was like, he's weak and somebody's going to kill him. Boom.
Speaker 1: He got it exactly right. And when Ferdinand died he
Speaker 1: only had one daughter living, so he didn't have an
Speaker 1: heir to the throne. Whoever she married would basically be
Speaker 1: the king of Portugal, right, So it was like a
Speaker 1: hot political issue. Was a raffles serious serious, They're like, fuck,
Speaker 1: what dick is going to come in here? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: I'm sure I certainly wonder if it was up to her,
Speaker 1: Like they were like, you choose the next king of
Speaker 1: Portugal for whatever you like best, Princess, I don't think so. Well,
Speaker 1: apparently she did have a preference. She wanted to marry
Speaker 1: Henry trust Tomorrow's son John, and Ferdinand had basically been
Speaker 1: teslain with John of Castile ever since he became King
Speaker 1: of Castile. Of course, so he's like no. He says
Speaker 1: no a bunch of times, but he finally lets her
Speaker 1: have her way and says, okay, she's going to marry
Speaker 1: John of Castile. Now, Ferdinand said all this before he died,
Speaker 1: okay um, And he figured it was just a good
Speaker 1: way for to like cease hostilities with Castile Portugal and
Speaker 1: Castile will be cool again. Marriage worked before, right, it'll
Speaker 1: work again. Marriage always works out great for these guys. Great.
Speaker 1: But then Ferdinand died and Peter, the first illegitimate children
Speaker 1: Ferdinand's half brothers, said well they should get the throne
Speaker 1: instead of John of Castile, of course, and yes, his
Speaker 1: sons John and Denny both thought they should get it,
Speaker 1: and so did Teresa's son, John of Avis. Don't forget him,
Speaker 1: the one who came along after, and yes, was killed.
Speaker 1: Now they tustled for a while in the Crisis of
Speaker 1: three to five, and eventually the Castilian army was not
Speaker 1: just defeated, it was annihilated, and there was an undisputed
Speaker 1: king of Portugal, John of Aviz. John ends up being
Speaker 1: like this is like at the end, it came a throne.
Speaker 1: What's his name? Ends up being king and like him.
Speaker 1: Where did he come from? That really came out of
Speaker 1: left field, no one guessed. John of Levis and the
Speaker 1: message boards. Wow, what there's just so many like illegitimate
Speaker 1: children having around own and causing havoc and strife and
Speaker 1: deciding there it should be in charge. And all these marriages,
Speaker 1: they were all the same. I know, what was what
Speaker 1: was the big deal? Titles? Titles, titles, Land and Gold. Ye,
Speaker 1: you know, can't we can't we all just get along,
Speaker 1: get together, share what we got, you know? No, no, Well,
Speaker 1: and I didn't even get into the fact that the
Speaker 1: Black Plague is happening this whole time, and so is
Speaker 1: the Hundred Years War. They had to do all this
Speaker 1: in masks, in tight fittings, and they managed it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that is that is the story of of Peter the
Speaker 1: First of Portugal and in yes to Castro, as well
Speaker 1: as Alfonso Alfonso, Peter of Castile, Eleanora Gusman, Maria of Portugal.
Speaker 1: Who else, Oh, Henry of Chustama and John Avevies. Wow,
Speaker 1: what a bunch of people. It's a whole lot of people,
Speaker 1: I know. It is a lot in too in one
Speaker 1: week to be giving you all these royal names to
Speaker 1: keep straight, and so many mistresses and this and that,
Speaker 1: but it was such a fun story to go through insane.
Speaker 1: Thanks again to Barbara for the suggestion, because it was
Speaker 1: a lot of fun to take a Portuguese history rabbit
Speaker 1: hole deep dive. I don't know a lot about Portugal,
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I haven't really looked in at their
Speaker 1: history much. This is pretty fascinating, I know. And apparently
Speaker 1: this story of Peter and Yes is like taught. It's
Speaker 1: a very it's like the Romeo and Juliet also by
Speaker 1: the fifth grade, everybody knows it. It's very like common story.
Speaker 1: There's all these operas and everything exactly, and so they're
Speaker 1: even like it's amazing how much it's it's permeated even
Speaker 1: beyond Portugal. But it's like they're like, we're still waiting
Speaker 1: for I guess the Meo and Juliet telling of it
Speaker 1: that makes it iconic for everyone. Such a it is
Speaker 1: kind of a similar thing like family struggle against true love,
Speaker 1: and that's sort of yeah, I want to go to
Speaker 1: Portugal now, already want to go back to Spain because
Speaker 1: we had such a great time. Honey, alert, honey, an alert, um,
Speaker 1: so please let us know if you got a spot
Speaker 1: we can crash in Portugal um, or just tell us
Speaker 1: what you thought of this episode, because this was a
Speaker 1: cookie one. I'm really curious if people how well you
Speaker 1: followed all these names and stuff. Let us know about that,
Speaker 1: because it took me a second. But I think we
Speaker 1: I think we got through it. I think we made
Speaker 1: it make sense. I hope so again, it's just especially
Speaker 1: I was like so in it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I know that Alfonso and Alfonso are going to be
Speaker 1: the most confusing thing about this story. And then I
Speaker 1: got to Peter of Portugal and Peter of Castile having
Speaker 1: the exact same nicknames and nickname options that I was like,
Speaker 1: I I'm gonna have to go over this one a
Speaker 1: few times. And I left out a bunch of people
Speaker 1: they almost married too for other reasons. It's just wild
Speaker 1: because one of one of them almost married this girl
Speaker 1: who then they said she was insane and confined her
Speaker 1: away and says she was mentally ill and too mentally
Speaker 1: ill to be a queen, and another one who was
Speaker 1: supposed to marry a princess from England, which would have
Speaker 1: allied them with you know, totally different. It would have
Speaker 1: been a completely different history. She got the Black plague
Speaker 1: because at the time it wasn't in Spain, and so
Speaker 1: they weren't taking it very seriously. And her and like
Speaker 1: a bunch of her entourage died, Like you were like,
Speaker 1: I didn't even get into that story. And then but
Speaker 1: I didn't tell you who they were or who they
Speaker 1: were going to marry. I tried to save some details.
Speaker 1: I wonder why just Peter of Castile didn't go to
Speaker 1: Peter of Portugal or vice versa and just be like,
Speaker 1: you know, we're not so different and I were virtually identical.
Speaker 1: Well apparently go ahead, Well he did go. He was
Speaker 1: like when he fled Castile, when Henry was kind of
Speaker 1: like about to take over and he fled Castile, he
Speaker 1: sought refuge with his uncle, but he was coldly received.
Speaker 1: So I don't know why, but he was not a fan.
Speaker 1: I guess they're not fans of each other, I guess,
Speaker 1: or maybe it's just Castile and Portugally just like, fuck you,
Speaker 1: I don't like you because you're from there. The sign
Speaker 1: says no Peter's Peter of Castile was also fighting with Aragon,
Speaker 1: who was also a Peter, so it was called the
Speaker 1: War of Two Peters Aragon, so it's yes. It was
Speaker 1: like he was fighting a war with Henry trost Mara
Speaker 1: and Peter of Aragon, the War of two Peters. Do
Speaker 1: you think Alfonso ever went to Alfonso and said, come on, dude,
Speaker 1: just take the l well now, I hope he did well. Yes,
Speaker 1: Please send us your thoughts on this episode, on any episode.
Speaker 1: Send us suggestions for other ideas you've got for episodes.
Speaker 1: We'd love to hear those. Shoot us an email. Get
Speaker 1: us at ridic Romance at gmail dot com. Right, we're
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Dynamite Boom and I'm
Speaker 1: at Oh Great, It's Eli and the show is at
Speaker 1: ridict Romance. Yes, you can't wait to hear from you,
Speaker 1: and we will be back next week with another excellent
Speaker 1: and ridiculous episode. Thanks for being with us today, Love
Speaker 1: you so long. Friends, It's time to go. Thanks so
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