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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in

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Speaker 1: the world, it is so great to have you here.

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Speaker 1: Back for another episode as we, of course break down

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Speaker 1: the psychology of our twenties. What is a more glamorous

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Speaker 1: in like a uniquely non glamorous way. What is a

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Speaker 1: more quintessential, chaotic but wonderful twenty something experience than solo

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Speaker 1: traveling packing everything up for a few weeks, maybe a

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Speaker 1: few months a year and just exploring the world by yourself,

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Speaker 1: backpacking across Europe, going to Bali for a month to

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Speaker 1: do yoga, catching like a last minute train to the

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Speaker 1: other side of the country, or a flight to the

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Speaker 1: other side of the world, to find yourself, to find memories,

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Speaker 1: to test yourself. Solo traveling just feels like this really

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Speaker 1: important thing that we need to do in our twenties,

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Speaker 1: almost like a rite of passage. I would say I

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Speaker 1: will make it some of the most incredible, independent, self

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Speaker 1: assured twenty something year olds, and I can just tell

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Speaker 1: they have solo traveled. I can just tell that they

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Speaker 1: know exactly who they are more than most of us

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Speaker 1: because they have had this very unique important experience of

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Speaker 1: having to truly trust themselves, of knowing that there is

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Speaker 1: no one else in that moment who can make a

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Speaker 1: decision for them, who can be their constant company, who

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Speaker 1: can help them in certain situations. It is this like

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Speaker 1: entirely self directed and at times scary situation that is

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Speaker 1: also equally magnificent. And I've heard from so many of

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Speaker 1: you are wonderful listeners who basically credit solo traveling with

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Speaker 1: transforming their identity and their personality during this decade, especially

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Speaker 1: at very pivotal points, you know, post breakup, post graduation

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Speaker 1: between jobs. A lot more of us are using travel

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Speaker 1: and doing it on our own to really be this

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Speaker 1: experience that brings us into a new chapter of our lives.

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Speaker 1: And it's just absolutely remarkable. I'm such a big advocate

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Speaker 1: for doing this. You know, when I was twenty, I

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Speaker 1: solo traveled to Europe from Australia and just spent hours

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Speaker 1: walking around to different sites and churches and getting lost.

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Speaker 1: I actually remember back then, I had like an iPhone

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Speaker 1: ten or like an iPhone eleven, and I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to pay for a data plan, so when I was

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Speaker 1: at my hostel with Wi Fi, I would literally point

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Speaker 1: my phone in the direction that I would want to go,

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Speaker 1: and I kid you not, I would be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: where is the sun right now? Is the sun behind me?

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Speaker 1: Like when I'm pointing in this direction, is the sun

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Speaker 1: to my left, to my right? As long as the

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Speaker 1: sun remains in that position, I can just keep walking

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Speaker 1: in that like in that way, and I'll find myself

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Speaker 1: getting there. And of course, you know, I would get lost.

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Speaker 1: I would never really know where I was going to

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Speaker 1: be completely honest, until I stumbled into a McDonald's with

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Speaker 1: Wi Fi. But it was just such a beautiful experience

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Speaker 1: and I really learned to be confident and self directed.

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Speaker 1: I watched the sunrise in Amsterdam, I had dinner with strangers.

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Speaker 1: I got a tattoo, and then I got another one.

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Speaker 1: And those are the kinds of memories that you tell

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Speaker 1: your children or you tell your friends in the nursing home.

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Speaker 1: They are the ones that form the foundation for our life.

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Speaker 1: One big misconception that I really want to address is

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Speaker 1: that solo traveling does have to be this huge, multi week,

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Speaker 1: multi month, multilocation expensive trip. And I don't think it

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Speaker 1: has to be. It can be as simple as a

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Speaker 1: weekend away by yourself, or a camping trip just to

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Speaker 1: you know, two hours away. That is something that I

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Speaker 1: also have loved doing, you know, packing up my tent

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Speaker 1: in my car and just spending three days alone by

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Speaker 1: myself to clear my mind. My cousin was recently texting me,

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Speaker 1: like a couple of days ago actually about a solo

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Speaker 1: camping trip that she did only two hours away from

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Speaker 1: home for only like forty eight hours, and even in

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Speaker 1: that short span of time, she was like, this is amazing.

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Speaker 1: I feel so liberated. I feel so free. I just

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Speaker 1: think there are so many other ways to experience the

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Speaker 1: joy and the gift that solo traveling has without breaking

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Speaker 1: the bank, without feeling you know, really really out of

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Speaker 1: your comfort zone to begin with. It's definitely something that

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Speaker 1: needs to be I think talked about more. Instead of

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Speaker 1: this glamorous, luxurious, often expensive ride of passage, you can

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Speaker 1: literally do it in your own neighborhood. And I think people,

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Speaker 1: because of that, but also just because of the wider

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Speaker 1: accessibility of travel, are really picking it up, especially post

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Speaker 1: COVID as well. I think a lot of us are

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Speaker 1: not so keen to wait until someone else is ready

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Speaker 1: to do the things we want to do. A lot

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Speaker 1: of us are. I have realized that if you wait

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Speaker 1: and you wait, and you wait until the time is right,

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Speaker 1: until you have company, you know, a pandemic could begin.

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Speaker 1: Things can get in the way, and you're going to

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Speaker 1: miss the opportunity. There was actually a forty two percent

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Speaker 1: increase in people taking solo trips over the past two years,

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Speaker 1: and you know now solo travelers according to this really

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Speaker 1: amazing research done by Solo Travel Statistics, Because of course

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Speaker 1: there are people who are measuring this, solo travelers make

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Speaker 1: up eleven percent of the overall total market, and eighty

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Speaker 1: four percent of those solo travelers are women. So it's

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Speaker 1: likely that if you go out looking for adventure in

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Speaker 1: a foreign country or you know, just up the coast,

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Speaker 1: you will find other people similar to you, doing the

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Speaker 1: same thing, looking for something, wanting it to be self directed,

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Speaker 1: no longer wanting to wait until someone else will raise

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Speaker 1: their hand and say, yeah, okay, I'll come with you.

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Speaker 1: So today I want to talk about this increasingly common experience,

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Speaker 1: the psychology of solo traveling, and how uniquely beneficial it

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Speaker 1: can be to us during our twenties. There will definitely

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Speaker 1: be hard times, there will be lonely times, but we

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Speaker 1: also get to experience this freedom, We get to experience

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Speaker 1: this unique sense of I don't know what the right

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Speaker 1: word is, liberation, transformation. I think it's only when you're

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Speaker 1: in those moments and you're experiencing it that you almost

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Speaker 1: become addicted to the sensation, and it seems like a

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Speaker 1: lot of us are. I also want to talk about

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Speaker 1: some of the unique challenges that you might encounter, but psychologically,

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Speaker 1: how to overcome them, and what happens when we return home,

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Speaker 1: what happens when the solo traveler is called back off

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Speaker 1: the road. There is so much to discuss in this

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Speaker 1: topic is so much deeper than you can imagine. So

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Speaker 1: without further ado, let us get into the psychology of

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Speaker 1: solo traveling. A lot of us feel deeply drawn to

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Speaker 1: solo travels, specifically, I think because of how sacred it feels,

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Speaker 1: and that's how I would describe it. There is, as

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Speaker 1: I said before, almost a rite of passage feeling that

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Speaker 1: is attached to this equally scary but ultimately rewarding experience.

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Speaker 1: How often in our lives do we actually ever get

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to be truly alone, to be truly dependent

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Speaker 1: on ourselves for everything. You know, how often are we

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Speaker 1: actually able to call most of the shots in our life?

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Speaker 1: Most of us, myself included, I would say we are

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Speaker 1: constantly surrounded by friends, family, loved ones, colleagues, and we

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Speaker 1: also are in a very comfortable environment that is familiar

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Speaker 1: and that is really easy to navigate. But solo travel

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Speaker 1: really throws all of that up in the air. Firstly,

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Speaker 1: you're in a place that you don't necessarily know when

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Speaker 1: you solo travel, then you remove your support network. Then

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Speaker 1: you might add in you know, a language that you

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Speaker 1: don't speak. But also with that there is an excitement.

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Speaker 1: There is this unlimited possibility of what's tomorrow going to bring?

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Speaker 1: What am I going to choose to do? It's novel,

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Speaker 1: it's scary, and when was the last time that you

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Speaker 1: actually felt that way in your current routine? So what

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Speaker 1: is it about solo traveling that is so alluring other

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Speaker 1: than what I have just described. Well, there was a

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Speaker 1: twenty fifteen report from the International Journal for Tourism Research

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Speaker 1: that looked into this. It wanted to know why people

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Speaker 1: suddenly so drawn to this experience, and what it found

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Speaker 1: was that the majority of solo travelers are motivated by

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Speaker 1: one of the following things. They are motivated by the

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Speaker 1: need for a feeling of freedom, by a desire to escape,

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Speaker 1: or a desire to find themselves. So feelings of freedom,

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Speaker 1: a desire to escape, or a desire to find out ourselves,

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Speaker 1: which honestly all sound like pretty much the same thing

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Speaker 1: wrapped into one. There was another study from twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: one that found something very very similar. When this researcher

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Speaker 1: interviewed a number of people who were solo travelers who

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Speaker 1: had solo traveled in the past year or two, what

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Speaker 1: they said motivated them was very similar. But besides those

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Speaker 1: previous inspirational motivational actions, besides those previous intentions, they also

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Speaker 1: said that it was the flexibility. It was the promise

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Speaker 1: of a transformative experience and this anticipated self discovery that

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Speaker 1: was really really motivating. So maybe you can relate to

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Speaker 1: that with your own solo travel ambitions. We are seeking

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Speaker 1: out the promise of knowing ourselves better. And this is

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Speaker 1: particularly influential after you've just been through something really tough

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Speaker 1: or life changing, like a breakup for example, or you've

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Speaker 1: just been made redundant, or you've graduated, you are i

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Speaker 1: think particularly poised for growth at that moment, and travel

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Speaker 1: really really brings that out. I think that it's actually

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Speaker 1: really important to do after one of those moments. You

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Speaker 1: can't just go back to, you know, living in everyday life.

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Speaker 1: After you graduate, you know that normalcy is gone. After

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Speaker 1: your breakup, after you've been made redundant, everything about your

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Speaker 1: current everyday reality has shifted. And I think giving yourself

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Speaker 1: time to go and solo travel through that allows you

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Speaker 1: to kind of jump into the next chapter of whatever

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Speaker 1: life is going to bring you, being more confident, being

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Speaker 1: more self assured, genuinely just knowing what you want and

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Speaker 1: knowing how to speak about that, knowing how to say that.

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Speaker 1: Some of us do have more of a propensity for

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Speaker 1: solo travel than others, and it's actually influenced by this

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Speaker 1: personality trait called an openness to experience. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's a surprise, but you might be familiar with this trait.

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Speaker 1: It's one of the big five personality traits. And if

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Speaker 1: you are someone who measures high on this characteristic, on

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Speaker 1: this openness to experience, you are typically more curious, You

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Speaker 1: are more independent, adaptable, willing to try new ideas, new values,

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Speaker 1: new emotions, new experiences, and you are more adventurous. So

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Speaker 1: this openness to experience combined with something that we call

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Speaker 1: high self efficacy, which basically refers to our belief in

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Speaker 1: our ability to influence our reality and to influence the

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Speaker 1: outcomes that we would like. Those two things essentially allow

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Speaker 1: us to really trust in our agency, but also to

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Speaker 1: feel quite passionate about having these experiences, and it makes

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Speaker 1: for the ideal solo traveler. I will say the final

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Speaker 1: big reason I personally like solo traveling that isn't related

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Speaker 1: to find yourself, That isn't related to an openness to experience,

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Speaker 1: And it might sound selfish, but it's basically just that

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Speaker 1: you don't have to consider other people in your plans.

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Speaker 1: And if you are someone who is very hyper independent,

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Speaker 1: maybe even impatient, like I am at times, that can

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Speaker 1: be such a big factor in what is influencing us

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Speaker 1: to solo travel. I am already someone who finds travel

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Speaker 1: to be kind of anxiety inducing. You know. I have fun,

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Speaker 1: I love it once I get there, but I do

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Speaker 1: find like I do need to go at my own pace,

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Speaker 1: my own speed. I want to see things that other

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Speaker 1: people might not, and sometimes I like to go back

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Speaker 1: to the same places I'm a very particular kind of traveler,

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Speaker 1: and I appreciate that I'm also quite indulgent, and that

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Speaker 1: might be like indulgent with my time, like I want

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Speaker 1: to go slow. I want to just really bask and

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Speaker 1: the experiences. And that's probably annoying for people to travel with,

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Speaker 1: but it also means that people who travel differently to me.

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Speaker 1: I find it kind of frustrating sometimes having to compromise

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Speaker 1: for something that is so uniquely like traveling is a

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Speaker 1: selfish experience. It is a self driven experience. You know,

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Speaker 1: you've already spent all this money to get somewhere at

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Speaker 1: least coming from Australia. If I want to go to

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Speaker 1: Europe or Africa or North America, it's going to take

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Speaker 1: me at least fifteen or twenty four hours, and it's

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Speaker 1: going to cost me a lot of money. So once

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Speaker 1: I get there, it's kind of like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to have to consult a group of friends or every

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Speaker 1: single member of my family anytime I want to eat

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Speaker 1: or book accommodation or spontaneously change my plans. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's really sometimes another really valuable thing to consider,

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Speaker 1: like this, if this is such a personal and I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I know, I said selfish, but personal experience

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Speaker 1: sometimes you don't want to share it with someone else.

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Speaker 1: This actually brings up a memory I have not even

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Speaker 1: a memory. Basically, when I was fifteen, I went to

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Speaker 1: New York with my family for Christmas because my mum

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Speaker 1: is American and we were kind of visiting some of

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Speaker 1: her family as well. And I was a very avid

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Speaker 1: journaler at the time. I had I wrote a journal

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Speaker 1: entry every single night. And recently I was looking back

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Speaker 1: through my old journals from that time because I was

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Speaker 1: just doing some reminiscing with my book being announced, and

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Speaker 1: I found an entry from that time and it said,

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Speaker 1: in all caps quote, you do not like traveling with

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Speaker 1: other people. Do not do this again when you become

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Speaker 1: an adult. Do not travel with other people. And I

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Speaker 1: just had to laugh about it. I was like, that

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Speaker 1: is so funny that fifteen year old Gemma already kind

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Speaker 1: of knew what was up. I showed it to my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend and he was like, yeah, absolutely, Like even when

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Speaker 1: we traveled together, I need my days to just go

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Speaker 1: and do my own thing. Same with when I travel

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Speaker 1: with my friends. It's not like I don't like doing it,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely need that solo space within that And

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Speaker 1: this really brings me to my first major point as

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Speaker 1: to why solo traveling is so valuable to do during

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Speaker 1: your twenties, and it's that it makes you confident in

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Speaker 1: your own choices and it really ensures that you get

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Speaker 1: to prioritize the experiences that you want to have. If

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Speaker 1: you are someone who is, for example, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: a people pleaser, that experience of getting to prioritize what

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Speaker 1: you want to do can be so liberating. Sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: like one of the first times that we've ever been

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Speaker 1: allowed to just and we have ever given ourselves permission,

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Speaker 1: I guess, to just do what best suits us without

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Speaker 1: having to carry the burden of thinking about other people's preferences.

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Speaker 1: It can almost bring you to tears sometimes, you know,

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Speaker 1: getting to eat lunch when you want, watching the sunset

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Speaker 1: on a random day because you want to. It's like

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Speaker 1: the weight of always considering what would make other people

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Speaker 1: happy and having to juggle all of their contradictory preferences

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Speaker 1: is gone. The burden is really lifted, and I think

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Speaker 1: you'll be surprised to see how much your relationship with

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Speaker 1: yourself improves as a result. Of this. Suddenly you really

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Speaker 1: learned to listen to yourself. You know what it feels

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Speaker 1: like to just have it your way, and that feels

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Speaker 1: really fucking good. I think that is why women especially

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Speaker 1: find a lot of freedom and solo travel, especially if

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Speaker 1: you were an eldest daughter, or came from a large family,

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Speaker 1: or felt a lot of expectations from your parents when

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Speaker 1: you were younger. Solo traveling is this unique space where

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Speaker 1: you are actually rewarded for knowing what you want and

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Speaker 1: doing it. And isn't that so contradictory to the childhood

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Speaker 1: environments and the teenage environments that we were raised in.

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Speaker 1: In fact, you know, to bring another psychology study into

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Speaker 1: the mix, because we can never have too many. There

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Speaker 1: was a paper from twenty twenty three so last year

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Speaker 1: that found that traveling alone means you actually experience the

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Speaker 1: sensations and the moments of your trip more deeply because

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Speaker 1: you are less distracted by a second person. You actually

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Speaker 1: have the chance to meet new people, chat to new people,

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Speaker 1: pay attention to the small things you know as you

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Speaker 1: walk the streets. You are naturally more aware, both from

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Speaker 1: a safety perspective, but I think that with that awareness,

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Speaker 1: it brings more moments of noticing, and that in itself

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Speaker 1: the necessity of being more aware of your surroundings. It

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Speaker 1: really promotes being present, which is really fantastic for the

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Speaker 1: emotional and mental experience that we get from traveling. We

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Speaker 1: also know that this experience really allows you to prove

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Speaker 1: to yourself that you can do hard things, things that

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Speaker 1: you never really imagined yourself doing. Let me tell you

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Speaker 1: a story about how I had this very experience, this

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Speaker 1: very realization that I was a lot tougher and smarter

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Speaker 1: than I thought I was because of solo traveling. So

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Speaker 1: one UNI break, I was traveling somewhere and I can't

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Speaker 1: even remember specifically where I was traveling too, because I

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Speaker 1: was coming back. I was returning home to Australia, and

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Speaker 1: I had booked, of course, you know, the cheapest flight possible.

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Speaker 1: I remember it was like eight hundred dollars return I

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Speaker 1: think to Amsterdam. Actually I was going through Amsterdam to

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Speaker 1: Europe and some other places, so eight hundred dollars return

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Speaker 1: from Sydney to Amsterdam and then back. And you have

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Speaker 1: to remember this is firstly Australian dollars, so a lot

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Speaker 1: cheaper than like the US dollar or like pounds or

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Speaker 1: euros or whatever, very very cheap at the time for

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Speaker 1: a twenty four hour trip, Like that's how long the

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Speaker 1: flight took. Anyways, the catch of this cheap flight was

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Speaker 1: that I had to spend fifteen hours in Taiwan overnight,

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Speaker 1: and at this point I had completely run out of

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Speaker 1: money on my international card. I only had one fifty

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Speaker 1: dollars a Maria can bill in my shoe, like a

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Speaker 1: fifty dollar American note that my mom was like, always

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Speaker 1: keep this in the bottom of your shoe just in case.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Mom for reminding me to do that. Well,

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Speaker 1: so I'd stayed in this I was staying in this

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Speaker 1: small three room hotel. I couldn't stay in the airport

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, I had to leave the airport. So

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Speaker 1: I was staying in this three room hotel motel thing,

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Speaker 1: and I'd paid for it before at the start of

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Speaker 1: my trip. Did not think about the fact that I

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Speaker 1: would need to get a taxi to the airport and

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Speaker 1: that I would need to eat dinner. You know, this

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Speaker 1: was a fifteen hour layover and I didn't have any money.

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Speaker 1: So I remember like sneaking into there was a wedding banquet,

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Speaker 1: like someone was getting married. There were so many people

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Speaker 1: there and they had this huge array of food, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm just going to sneak in,

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Speaker 1: and you know, they're just going to think, like this

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Speaker 1: random white girl is here, like who invited her? But

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Speaker 1: no one's gonna question it. I'm just going to eat

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Speaker 1: some food and sneak out, And luckily that worked. I

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00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 1: honestly think that they kind of knew and they probably

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00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 1: just felt really sorry for me. And then came the

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Speaker 1: moment when I needed to get a taxi. I had

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Speaker 1: to get a taxi to the airport, and I was

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Speaker 1: kind of panicking, and I'd gotten the front desk to

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Speaker 1: call me a local taxi, had no idea how much

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Speaker 1: it was going to be. Had this fifty dollar note.

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Speaker 1: He drops me off at the airport and I just

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Speaker 1: give him the fifty dollars American note, no idea if

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Speaker 1: it's more less right on, you know, if he's even

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Speaker 1: going to accept it, And he kind of just looked

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Speaker 1: at me and he just was like okay, and just

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Speaker 1: took the note, and I got my bag out of

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Speaker 1: the back and he drove off, and it was just

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Speaker 1: the biggest sense of like relief and accomplishment that was like, okay,

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00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 1: like I did that hard thing. I also didn't have

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Speaker 1: any internet, I had no money, I just had myself.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't call anyone. I didn't know anyone in Taiwan.

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Speaker 1: It was equally scary but also the most powering thing

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Speaker 1: to just realize that, oh wow, I'm an adult in

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Speaker 1: this situation and I figured it out, and I've never

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00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: felt so alone but also so self sufficient, and that

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Speaker 1: it's that it's those experiences that we are all bound

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00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 1: to have when solo traveling that are going to give

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Speaker 1: you lifelong skills such as problem solving, such as decision making.

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Speaker 1: I often think a lot of us get worried about

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Speaker 1: solo traveling, that we're going to have this gap in

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Speaker 1: our resume. If I was an employer and I saw

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Speaker 1: that someone in their twenties had done this huge solo

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Speaker 1: traveling trip or took time off to go and explore

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Speaker 1: by themselves, they are honestly going to be at the

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Speaker 1: top of my list to hire. Because there's just so

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Speaker 1: many skills that you cannot teach that a workplace won't teach,

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Speaker 1: that a university won't teach. And I think life is

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Speaker 1: more about just having professional experiences and also about having

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Speaker 1: life experience. Those are the people who are the best

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Speaker 1: to work with, the most interesting, often the most driven.

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Speaker 1: So if you ever worry like I've taken all this

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Speaker 1: time off to solo travel, everyone else is further ahead

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Speaker 1: than me. Everyone else, those people you're comparing yourself to

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Speaker 1: are most likely looking at you and being like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I wish that I'd actually taken time to explore and

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00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: to know myself. This is why I also think that

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00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 1: solo traveling continues to be important even when you are

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, even when you have a long term

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Speaker 1: monogamous partner. Of course, you know you want to have

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Speaker 1: those moments and experiences and memories with them, you want

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Speaker 1: to travel with them. But if you are in your

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Speaker 1: twenties and you really want to go somewhere, there is

385
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: a place on your bucket list that you've always wanted

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Speaker 1: to visit, you have the means, you have, the time,

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00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: you have the opportunity. You shouldn't feel like you need

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Speaker 1: to wait until someone else is ready to go with you.

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Speaker 1: You can go alone. You can do it alone. You

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00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:05,360
Speaker 1: are not suddenly a paired item with this person. No

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00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 1: matter what, especially like not to be a cynic, but

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00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 1: that relationship could not work. Something could happen tomorrow. You

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00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: guys could break up next month or in the next two, three,

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00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: five years, and when you two are no longer together

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00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: and the opportunity to travel has passed, there is going

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00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: to be this what if sensation, this what if surrounding

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00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 1: the memories you could have made, the skills you could

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00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: have built, the things you could have you could have seen.

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Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, a relationship is important,

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00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: and we do care about someone, it doesn't mean that

401
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: we need to give up all of our solo experiences

402
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,880
Speaker 1: and only do it with them. So hopefully I've made

403
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: an argument for continuing to do this, you know, maintaining

404
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: your independence through solo traveling when you're in a relationship,

405
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 1: it really ensures that your self concept this like overall

406
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: watching fundamental idea of who you are, that that remains very,

407
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: very strong. So this is a really glamorous idea of

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00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: solo traveling that we've painted so far, one of adventure,

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00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: of self discovery, of once in a lifetime moments, but

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00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: there are also hard moments, moments of doubt and loneliness,

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00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: and I think that's worth discussing. I think it would

412
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: be remiss of me to just paint this picture of

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00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: sunshine and rainbows and self discovery. There will be hard

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00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: times that we inevitably encounter, but we also have a

415
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: lot of really deeply seated psychological tools to help us

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00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: get through them. So we're going to talk about that

417
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: and so much more, along with what happens when we

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00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: return home. What is post solo travel shock, all of

419
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: that after this short break. Doing anything alone can be tough,

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00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: even when it has its perks. You know, people who

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00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: solo travel a lot in their twenties, they will most

422
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: likely tell you how rewarding it is. But if you

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00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: dig a little deeper, some of the other things they

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00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 1: may tell you to essentially be prepared for is the loneliness,

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00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: the decision fatigue, the exhaustion, the fear of the unknown,

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00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: maybe safety concerns, wanting to come home early, and also

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00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 1: I think the pressure for personal growth. You feel like,

428
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: if you're solo traveling, you can't just have a normal trip.

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00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,239
Speaker 1: There has to be some greater personal development goal that

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00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 1: you are striving towards, some epiphany that needs to be

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00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: had before you return home so that you can come

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00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: home a changed person. So doesn't sound like a challenge,

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00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: but I think it kind of is because it influences

434
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: the mindset that we bring into the trip. Let's walk

435
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: through some of these challenges and how to feel more

436
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 1: confident addressing them. Something that has always been comforting to

437
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: me is that there have been thousands of people before

438
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: me in this exact experience who have experienced the same sensations,

439
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 1: the same anxieties and worries, and they've pushed through They've

440
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: always come back with more good stories than bad. And also,

441
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,239
Speaker 1: you know, the best place to grow is right when

442
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 1: you start feeling a little bit uncomfortable. You don't need

443
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 1: to be so insanely uncomfortable that you want to leave,

444
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,199
Speaker 1: but a bit of discomfort that's really stretching you as

445
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: a person, and with that stretch you grow. You know,

446
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,479
Speaker 1: without tension, without friction, nothing will ever challenge you. So

447
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing that we are going to

448
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: confront that will challenge us is loneliness. Without the companionship

449
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: of friends or family. I think we feel quite isolated,

450
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 1: especially in an unfamiliar environment, when we don't even have

451
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: those kind of small creature comforts. There are definitely many

452
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: times when you think it would be really nice to

453
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: share this with someone, or you go to sleep at

454
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: the end of the day and you realize, like, huh,

455
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: I haven't actually said a word to anyone else this

456
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: entire day, and it feels definitely very odd. But the

457
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 1: loneliness can also be a really sacred and special element

458
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: of this experience. For one, it's definitely the price you

459
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: pay for more freedom. But additionally, you know, you get

460
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: to really zone in on your inner world. There was

461
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: a study done that assessed the importance of having this

462
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 1: kind of alone time, not just when traveling but in

463
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 1: your everyday life. And it assessed a sample of one

464
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty people, and what it did was it

465
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: asked them to prioritize spending an hour alone for three weeks,

466
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: only three weeks, an hour every day. So those who

467
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: did this, those who went through with it, they felt

468
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: so much more introspective. They actually had more social energy,

469
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: They felt more in touch with themselves. Some people are

470
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: never going to get that, you know, the noises and

471
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: the voices they hear in their head, they will never

472
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: just be their own like imagine that, Imagine spending your

473
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 1: whole life never knowing what you would think or do,

474
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: or see or believe if no one else was there.

475
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: And if you solo travel, you will never have to

476
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: wonder that you will never have to wonder. Also, just

477
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 1: because you solo travel doesn't mean you need to solitary

478
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: travel like. There's a big distinction here between being completely

479
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: solitary and isolated and just going into the trip alone.

480
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: So book a group tour for a day, stay in

481
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 1: a social hostel, even if you have your own room

482
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 1: or you're in a smaller bunk space. You could travel

483
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: with someone that you meet for a few days and

484
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: then leave them at your next destination. So don't fall

485
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: into the trap of believing that the purpose of this

486
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: trip is to be isolated. It's definitely not. It's just

487
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: to be self directed. I also find that people who

488
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 1: start travel instagrams love that love that for them. I

489
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: love seeing people's like photodumps of where they are. And

490
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: when you're a solo traveler means that you do still

491
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: feel connected to people back home. You don't feel like

492
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 1: people are forgetting about you, you don't feel as lonely.

493
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: You can still have that kind of ongoing communication with

494
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: people about what you are experiencing what you are learning.

495
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: Another big thing that we face that I don't actually

496
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: hear talked about a lot is decision fatigue. Making every

497
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: single choice for yourself every single day, from you know,

498
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: what am I going to eat? What sites am I

499
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: going to see? Where am I going to stay? How

500
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: am I going to get there? That can be exhausting,

501
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: and solo travelers often face more decisions, not just logistical decisions,

502
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,719
Speaker 1: but also spontaneous decisions day in and day out, So

503
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: our cognitive capacity for making decisions is actually rather limited.

504
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: Each choice you are going to make, no matter how small,

505
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: it does deplete your mental energy. And what's more is

506
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: that you know everyday environment. You know, when you're at home,

507
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,959
Speaker 1: you make basically the same choices. Ever, every day you

508
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 1: take the same route home from work, you have the

509
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: same routine, you go to the same gym, the same cafes.

510
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: Everything is typically familiar. And so when you are traveling

511
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: by yourself, things that we typically wouldn't have to think about,

512
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: like how do I catch the train, how do I

513
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: pay for the train, what's on the menu? You know,

514
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: suddenly we have to think a little bit harder about

515
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: those things, and that is going to contribute to your

516
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: cognitive overload. This can definitely make us more tired, a

517
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: little bit irritable at times, anxious. But the worst thing,

518
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: the worst consequence of this, I believe at least, is

519
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 1: that it can lead to indecision and avoidance. I don't

520
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: know if you've ever found yourself in this situation before

521
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: at home, but you know, when you just have so

522
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: many options of what you could do in a day.

523
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: You know, you could do chores, you could see a friend,

524
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: you could go to the gym, go out for dinner,

525
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: and because you have so many options, you're just like,

526
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do any of them. You know,

527
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: it's not possible to decide which one would be best,

528
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: so I'm just not going to make a decision at all.

529
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: That can happen when you're traveling, and the consequence of

530
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: decision fatigue in this environment is that actually you feel

531
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: quite let down. You feel like you should be seeing more.

532
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: The easiest way to counteract this is to actually do

533
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: the counterintuitive thing and give yourself less choice. I know

534
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 1: we speak about, you know, solo traveling and talk about

535
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: how it's all about freedom, but imposing some restrictions on

536
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: yourself may actually make you get more out of it.

537
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: You know, eating breakfast at the same place as every day,

538
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: or having that breakfast spot. That's really smart because that's

539
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: one decision that isn't going to overload you cognitively, and

540
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: you can use that mental energy, those resources to make

541
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: a better decision. The other thing that I do is

542
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 1: that I make a list of ten things. When I

543
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 1: go on a trip, say the trip is two weeks long,

544
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: I make a list of ten things that I really

545
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: want to do, and I make a rough itinerary. That

546
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: still leaves me like three to four days of having

547
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: nothing scheduled, But during those days, I know kind of

548
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. I have a loose plan, and

549
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: I make sure that things are in the same area,

550
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: so once I'm out of the house, there is kind

551
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: of a continuity between where I'm going and my experiences.

552
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: I also think it's really important here when you're facing

553
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: decision fatigue, often that comes from a sensation or a

554
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: deep feeling that you need to make the perfect decision right.

555
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: This is such a sacred experience. You're solo traveling, You're

556
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: in this new country. There's so much to do. I

557
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: don't want to miss out. I want to make sure

558
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: that I come back with a good story. I want

559
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: to make sure that I see everything, do everything. What

560
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: do I do first? Don't aim for perfection. Even people

561
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: who live in their cities their whole lives never see

562
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: half the things that you want to see. So just

563
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: know that actually some of the best experiences do come

564
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: from being quite spontaneous. They do come from just getting

565
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: out of the house with no plan, or just choosing

566
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: one thing to really focus on for the day. This

567
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: is not an assignment, this is not a piece of work.

568
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: This is not anything that needs to be perfect for

569
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: someone else to judge or for someone else to see.

570
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: It's actually really fascinating. We talk about decision fatigue and

571
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: how it can be really hard for solo travelers, but

572
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: actually when solo travelers return home, they report how difficult

573
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: it is to adjust to having to consider other people

574
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: because you're so used to being self directed in these environments.

575
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: You come back and your family's like, let's go out

576
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 1: for breakfast, and you're like, great, we're going to go here,

577
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: and suddenly it's like, no, no, I want to go here.

578
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: I want to go there, And it can actually be

579
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: quite frustrating for solo travelers. It's often this sense of

580
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 1: like a shock of returning to a system, or returning

581
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: to a situation or an environment in which you do

582
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: actually now have to consider other people again. My final

583
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: difficulty I think we face when contemplating solo exploring. It's

584
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: a deeply human one and it's a fear of the unknown,

585
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 1: and with that can come a heavy dose of catastrophizing. Right,

586
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: this is the biggest thing that I think people bring

587
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: up when you say you should solo travel. Solo travel

588
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: is so worthwhile. It's what if I'm kidnapped? What if

589
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: I get lost? What if I get robbed? What if

590
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: something terrible happens? What if no one knows where I am.

591
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: Our brain takes the unknown and it likes to make

592
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 1: a mess of It likes to make it its little

593
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: fantasy playground of all the worst things possible that our

594
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: brain can conjure up. That is anxiety. That is a

595
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 1: survival mechanism. It is not the truth I want you

596
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 1: to remember, though. It is a very valid concern. Safety

597
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: is a valid concern. But everything in life is a risk.

598
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: There is fear embedded in everything that we do, even

599
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: getting out of bed, even walking out of our front door.

600
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: You though, you were not put on this earth to

601
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: play it safe, and you were not put on this

602
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: earth to only go where it's comfortable, because that would

603
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: mean that you really never grow, you never move from

604
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: where you are now. Things can go wrong, they do

605
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: grow wrong. But when you have your wits about you,

606
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 1: when you do the common sense things, you still are

607
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 1: a lot more capable than you know. And the very

608
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: nature of solo traveling is to show you that you

609
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: know what you're doing, that you are capable, strong, independent,

610
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: You have that mental toughness, you have that adaptability, that flexibility.

611
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: So those experiences and the thought of those experiences can

612
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: be scary, but firstly, you're very unlikely to encounter them. Secondly,

613
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: when you do, you will realize that you are a

614
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 1: lot more capable. In that moment, it's not as scary

615
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: as you thought it would be. And I think finally,

616
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: when you have common sense, when you just do basic

617
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: safety things like having an anti pickpocket back, registering with

618
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: your embassy, telling people where you're going, a lot of

619
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: that risk is definitely minimized. So I want to finish

620
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: up with just some general advice, some fast rapid fire

621
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: tips from me to you, but also from some of

622
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: the audience. Some of the listeners who are solo traveler

623
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: pros this piece of advice. I believe in one hundred percent.

624
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: It's to set intentions, not expectations. When you have really

625
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: high expectations for something, you are always going to be disappointed,

626
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 1: not because the experiences are better or worse, but because

627
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: your expectations tint your perspective. They tint how you see things.

628
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: So focus on what you're hoping to learn, what you're

629
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: hoping to experience, what you're hoping to get out of

630
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: it emotionally and psychologically, rather than rigidly planning every detail

631
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 1: and being like, you know, if you're in Paris, like

632
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: I have to go to the Eiffel Tower and I

633
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: have to see it lit up because that's on my

634
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: bucket list and it's going to beautiful and magical and

635
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: everything needs to be perfect. Your expectations are too high.

636
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 1: Set them low, be like I just want to have

637
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,720
Speaker 1: a nice time. I want to have a nice meal,

638
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 1: I want to meet some new people, I want to

639
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: walk around, I want to see a sunset, more general

640
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 1: ideas of what the trip could be. So don't plan everything.

641
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: Remember that you have freedom. So if you're not enjoying

642
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 1: where you are, if you're not enjoying your accommodation, you're

643
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 1: not enjoying the country, the city, the suburb, the neighborhood

644
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: that you're in, move on. You don't have to ask

645
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: anyone for permission. That's the beauty of this. If you're

646
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: not having fun, just leave. And I always say this.

647
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 1: You know it can be hard when you've already paid

648
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: for a hotel, you've paid for an experience. This is

649
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 1: what I always say. You can either waste your money

650
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 1: and do something else, or you can waste your money

651
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: and your time. And that is a double whammy. You

652
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 1: can waste your money. Why you know, you're still doing

653
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: an experience, You're still staying somewhere you don't enjoy. You've

654
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 1: already spent the money on the thing. But then you're

655
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: also wasting your time because you could have been using

656
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: those hours, those days to be somewhere else, somewhere better,

657
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: somewhere that you may have enjoyed more. Rest. Please take

658
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: a break. I did an episode I think at the

659
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: start of the year on travel burnout for people who

660
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: solo travel a lot it's a real thing. You know.

661
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: You put a lot of pressure on yourself to be go,

662
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: go go. You've spent all this money. You want to

663
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: see everything, do everything, taste everything. It sounds strange. Rest

664
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: will make those experiences better if you My general rule

665
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: is that for every four days that you are doing something,

666
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: take one day to do nothing. To take one day or

667
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: even a half day to just walk around, take it easy,

668
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: have a nice meal, have a sleep in. It will

669
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 1: really mean that you get more out of the trip.

670
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: And finally, bring a journal along and try and do

671
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: an entry every night or every morning reflecting on the

672
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: previous experiences. This is a really great way to see

673
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 1: how you're growing, to remember the realizations that you're having

674
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 1: when you get home. It's also just a great historical

675
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: document to have the older you get. I think about

676
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: this all the time, you know, my kids being able

677
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: to read what I've written, a museum getting a hold

678
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 1: of it, maybe some future human finding it tucked into

679
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 1: a drawer of some antique piece of furniture that's probably

680
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: from my gear, but they don't know that. Like, I

681
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 1: really like that idea of the memories that I've had

682
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: taking on some permanence, so I would really encourage you

683
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 1: get a really nice journal and use it. I hope

684
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: that you've enjoyed this episode. I hope that I've made

685
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: a compelling argument for solo traveling in your twenties and

686
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: also given you a bit of a pep talk if

687
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 1: you are someone who solo travels on what to do

688
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 1: on those hard days, why it's all worth it at

689
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: the end, how to elevate the experience. It genuinely is

690
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: something that I deeply believe that we should all do,

691
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: even if it's just going on a camping trip two

692
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: hours away from home. It's accessible and available to everyone,

693
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 1: hopefully in some capacity. As always, if you enjoyed this episode,

694
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: make sure that you leave a comment. You leave a review,

695
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: hopefully a five star review if you would be so kind.

696
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: I do read everything that you guys say. It makes

697
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: my day. I spend like a couple of minutes or

698
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes every day just reading through the new reviews,

699
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: reading through the comments you guys are leaving on Spotify.

700
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: So thank you to all of you who are giving

701
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: feedback telling us what you think. Make sure you are

702
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 1: also following us on Instagram at that Psychology podcast. You

703
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 1: can learn more about the topics that we talk about

704
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: on the show. We go more in depth, we talk

705
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: about some of the studies and I give you the

706
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 1: options to choose new episodes, to give your input to

707
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,399
Speaker 1: talk about your experiences. So we would love to see

708
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: you over there, and until next time, stay safe, stay kind,

709
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 1: and please be gentle to yourself. Would talk very very soon, Yeah,

710
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: Im