WEBVTT - Episode 257: Taste the Rainbow (Feat. LisaRaye McCoy) 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.360 What's up? What's up? It's lip serious. I'm Angela, yee, 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:15.320 I'm stoping in Santiago. I'm Larry. Yeah. Listen, you are 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:17.319 a pro at this, so you know we're just gonna 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:23.160 sit back and lets you right in late. So listen. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.680 And I first of all, before we even get started, 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:27.720 I know this is a fun interview. I know there's 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:29.840 a lot going on in the world, you know, and 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:32.479 I do feel like every now and then I have 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.120 to take a break from just everything that's happening and 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:38.400 just try to, like you know, distract myself and then 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:41.240 get right back to it. Because I think just twenty 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.600 four seven watching the news and being involved, and I 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:48.000 saw you were out protesting with TiO the other day 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:50.320 and that you've been very active and on the front line. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.319 So how is your state of mind right now? I'm 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.200 in and out like everyone else. I'm torn because when 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:59.520 I do get ready to dance or laugh, almost full 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.720 of loop ulty from doing so, because it's almost like 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:03.400 it ain't nothing to level about right now, and it's 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.280 nothing to play with right now, because it's serious right now. 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:10.399 And then it's like it's people and then you get 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.040 into that ball of emotion and then you can just 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:16.960 make yourself sick with me just crying all day or 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:18.959 just being so emotional all day. I have my grand 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:22.320 baby again, so you know, I heard her saying, God, God, 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:26.000 crying again, you know, and that really kind of made 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:27.880 me snap out of it and say, oh, I don't 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.960 want her to feel that. I'm just having so much 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.000 pain and I'm in so in sorrow. And she's only three, 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:36.440 so I can't really explain to her in depth what 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:39.440 is really going on because we had the pandemic, was 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.280 still in the midst of that with the corona you know, virus, 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:44.960 and so I was telling her we're not going outside 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.480 because the germs are outside. So to explain that why 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.240 she can't go to the park or go to Chucky 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.520 Cheese no more, which I got, you guys probably heard 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:56.280 that Chucky Cheese is around anymore, and I need to 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.840 tell her that, you know what I mean. So I'm 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:03.600 just um feeling what the world is feeling and knowing 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:06.040 that it's not a time for us to stop, because 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.720 we have to still apply the pressure. They still have 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:10.680 to know that this wasn't a one time or a 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:14.000 week time doing that we're tired enough to keep going 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.680 and we want some answers. We want some justice, and 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.480 that will not and cannot happen if we just um 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:22.840 just stay where we are, you know what I mean. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.560 We have to keep going. A matter of fact, we're 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:28.639 doing another protest to t O and myself on June 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:33.640 here around the stadium. So you know, we did it 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.120 last week and it was great. I felt a part 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.160 of which is what I wanted to do because I 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:42.840 wanted to to feel the exhilaration and the excitement of 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.119 the people and be in there because I kept reporting 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:49.840 from it on this side, keep thinking, yeah, right, everybody 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:54.120 out there while you inside reporting for and it was 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:56.720 like that, do nothing. That doesn't make you part of history. 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.080 And I wanted to be a part of history. I 0:02:58.120 --> 0:02:59.639 want to pictures. I wanted to be able to show 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:01.880 my grand baby. I wanted to be out there and feeling. 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.840 I wanted my voice to be heard. I wanted them 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.359 to know that I was on the front line with them. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:06.960 I wanted them to know that I believe in all 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:10.519 black lives matter. And it's like I said before, all 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:14.120 lives matter. We know that, we know that, but we're 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.520 saying right now because of what we've gone through and 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:21.520 going through, Black lives matter because they're not doing other 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.480 lives the way that they're doing our lives that you don't. 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:26.440 That's like our lives don't matter, and that's what the 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.560 real issue is. Yeah, and it seems like no matter what, 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.000 like you would think, right now, cops will be on edge, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.640 like I gotta make sure that I'm doing what I'm 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.960 supposed to be doing. And it's mind boggling that they 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:44.520 can still go out there and committing crimes total opposite, 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:48.320 like what happened in Atlanta. You knew people were filming, 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.720 you knew people were hollering at you, you knew people 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.280 were watching, you knew that we would have witnesses, but 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.080 you didn't care if this man. You didn't even stop 0:03:56.160 --> 0:04:00.240 him for anything traffic. He was driving. He was wanted 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.000 to sleep off his drunkness. He was like, yeah, I've 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.000 been drinking and yeah I had a few drinks and 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:06.720 I'm just a couple of blocks away ox and I 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:08.880 can't even walk. I can leave my car here. He 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:14.280 said everything. Yeah, that he was a criminal, he robbed 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.680 a bank or something, right then he just shot. What 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:21.680 was the crime? Crime? Like, what was it really made 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:23.400 you shoot him in the back because I thought that 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:25.480 was against the law. I thought you could not shoot 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.039 it against the law. And aren't they trained to be 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.760 able to target an area where it's not gonna kill, 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.279 you shoot me in the arm something like you know, 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:37.120 you know what I heard that when the officers use 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.400 their gun, they are trained to shoot to kill if 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.960 they're gonna use their gun at all. But he had 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:45.680 a taser. They tased people all the time, and they 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.719 felt like if they felt like a taser is a 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.480 situation that is, you know, a matter of like the death, 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.120 and they shouldn't be using them. Yeah, And I think 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:56.560 that that was that he took the taser from him, 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.760 but the cop had already let out the cartridge that 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:03.640 was in their taser only has one cartridge. So so 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:07.120 what they were saying was that the police officer knew 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.479 that he could do nothing, that the that Rashad could 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:13.880 do nothing with the taser, so him shooting him was crazy. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.600 It's like we've seen police chase before. Movies are about that. 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:21.599 How about cops. It's a whole show that's about police chase, saying, so, 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:25.600 why does it always resort resort to murder like I 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:28.400 just don't understand that how that's the first thing in 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.240 your mind is like, oh, let me kill him because 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:33.240 he was junk driving. That's not that man did not 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:36.000 kill anybody. That man, you know, and that's not even 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.159 up to them to say who lives their dives. Even 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:41.240 if that man did kill somebody, he has the right 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.160 to a child, you know what I mean. And that's 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:46.719 how we are in such an uproar because we see 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:48.800 the difference, and that's what we're saying, we see the 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:50.720 difference on how you treat us, because I don't know 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.680 if you gotta all the video with the white guy 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:59.720 took the police baton, be still, what god they called 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:03.920 was chasing the police. Not one time did he shoot 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.000 his gun or warning bring out his taser, Like no, 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.240 this that happened. And I was sitting there watching it 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:14.080 like this is crazy, right, And you want to try 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.080 to tell us that there's no difference. Come on, we're 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.479 not foods. And I just went on to make sure 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:20.719 we got that out because I know we are still 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.039 doing lift service during this time, we took like a 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.760 week off just things got really heavy. But you know, 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:30.080 that puts things into perspective because then NICKI Mnastika shot 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.520 at you on a song and it's and like you said, 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:34.920 there's so many other things happening in the world right 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.000 now to be concerned about. So and I spoke to 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.400 you on the Breakfast Club and we talked about the 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:42.479 whole thing, which was a lot of people. You know, 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:44.200 what you had to say about the bar is very 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.520 mature answer. It is what it is. But now, how 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:51.080 did you feel knowing that she actually said something about you? Well, 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:52.760 first of all, I said, oh, a man, and in 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.800 a song again, that was the first again, and I thought, 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.159 you know, because people try to make so much of it, 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.680 I would say that was a great bus this move 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.279 because she has to stay current and because if someone 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.760 she feels has taken a shot at her, her way 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.680 and her retaliation has to put it in a song. 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:11.160 You know what I mean. I don't know her personally. Uh, 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.560 she doesn't know me personally, but she used one of 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.600 the most iconic movies and their lead actress to be 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.520 able to give Paul verse in her song that makes 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:21.520 everybody want to talk about it. They're talking about me. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:23.600 I mean, I didn't know I was that hot. I mean, 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:26.040 I'm hot, but not not that hot, you know what 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:27.440 I mean. So it's like, thank you, can you sing 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:30.119 me some money and some residuals and I'm to a video. Girl, 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.440 I'll be in the video. I don't have a problem 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.720 with her, you know. And I think her barbs is what. 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:39.720 You know. They kind of fueled it and just took 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:41.480 it and grand with it, you know what I mean. 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:43.840 And I had said, where is all this coming from? 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:46.920 You know? I just want to see unity, you know. 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.160 I just want to see us be entertained by music 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.600 and not have the beats and not have the mafia 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.240 type of beats that has to go on to make 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.800 you feel relevant. I don't know what that is. I'm 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.640 not of that life and I'm not of that generation either, 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.120 you know what I mean. So I do understand that 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.200 that's what they're doing, you know, to stay you know, 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:08.800 in the press or whatever. You know. I mean, the 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.080 beef means something that makes us go, let's check our 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.400 social media. But that's not what I'm about. And I'm 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:18.200 definitely not about tearing down anybody unless I have a 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.920 personal beef with you myself, and I don't like that 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.480 with anybody. I got maybe two or three people that 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:25.600 you know that. I feel like I don't have to 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:28.120 never mention their names, you know. You know what I mean, 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.520 that I have something with, but someone that is out 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:35.120 here talented, that's doing something. She's on the charts, you 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.760 know what I mean, she's winning. So you shouldn't be 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.480 worried about me, just like I'm not worried about you. 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.040 You know what I mean. We're in two different things, 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.679 you know. So here's the thing. I don't think she 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:46.240 worried about me at all. I think it was all 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.679 done in fun, Like Okay, you said that. I heard 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:52.360 you said that I would do this, and I'm like, okay, 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:54.880 but are you shot? I gotta escalated to that because 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.160 I feel like plenty of people have had an opinion 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:01.360 on Nicki Minaj her career and even heard her few 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.400 with little camera. I feel like plenty of people have 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:07.400 said things, but the fact that with you said kind 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.520 of yeah got to her. Um. Do you feel like 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:14.040 it's like you can't really give your opinion nowadays without 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:15.760 I don't feel like that, and I won't ever feel 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:17.480 like that. Yeah, I feel like you always give your 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:19.760 opinion now I can expect about Here's the thing I 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:22.679 would love to do is I would love for her 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:28.240 to interview me on but what I meant and what 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:32.200 my stance is on that tality joke, I think it 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.520 would be too because I would love to sit down 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:40.240 with her, little Kim Foxy Brown, anybody, let's just get 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:43.199 a call, listen together. Let's get a movement together with 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:46.160 us with old school and new school, and show everybody 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:47.880 how we can really come together, because that's what real 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.280 mature women do. And when I said that I needed 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:53.000 Nicole Murphy to come see me, I meant that in 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:55.520 a way that was like, let's sit down and hash 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:57.880 this out because we don't need no cameras right now 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.600 that we're about to fight. Just like it's like, come 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.839 and talk to me about this. You know what I mean. 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:08.320 And so you know again, I've en rocked to a 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.920 plenty of Nikki songs and I love her videos. You know, 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.359 I don't hate on anybody because it takes a particular 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.680 type of skills to do whatever you're doing. You guys, 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.000 your voice is riveting where when you come on, you 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.440 all snapped into professionalism and that radio voice. I don't 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.719 have that. I don't even know how to get that, 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:28.679 you know what I mean? You all have that, So 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.800 you all in your lane. I just stay in my lane, 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:35.120 and I remember, you take a pretty good job. I 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:36.839 think you're doing a pretty good job at that. But 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.440 I just you guys know that you do though, because 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.640 you all have said I'm getting a job in radio 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.840 because I have a platform, I have a voice, I 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.360 sound good. So that's where you all are. As an actress, 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.320 I'm just like, oh, you want to interview me, not 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:52.880 a problem. I'm just here. So something in within you 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.200 all knew that this is what you wanted to do. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.120 This is what you have to offer society, and we're 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.880 accepting it because how long you've been angel of you 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.280 and I've been. We go back for years and you've 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:08.600 been we've been in Puerto Rico together. Yeah, I mean, 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.240 and you're still here, ladies. You're here, you know what 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.760 I mean. You're doing other things, and so you're giving 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:16.320 people an opportunity like myself to be able to voice 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.720 my opinion. And it shows that Mark can't you matter? 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:25.760 But I will say that when you say come see me, 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.480 they're probably thinking of that scene, that famous scene where 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:32.079 you loook as So when you're like come see me, 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:36.440 they're like you know, I'm not saying that. I can't 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:40.760 you know, say it that way either, because it depends 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.520 on which way the conversation go, you know, but is 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:47.920 it fighting worthy? No, I've been divorced for ten years, 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:50.560 you know what I mean. It's like I'm not concerned 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:54.199 about him in that manner at all, or her in 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.240 that manner, you know what I mean. It's just that 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.679 you ended up you end up talking about things like 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:02.959 this to add your side of the story, you know 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.720 what I mean. You end up talking about it because 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:06.240 somebody else has brought it up, so you want to 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.400 clear the air or at least add to it, you 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:09.840 know what I mean. And and that's all. But if 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:11.760 I ain't got another ever mention, how again, it won't 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:15.520 cost me up. Well, let's talk about some other things, 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:17.680 Lesta Ray, because you tell we came up in a 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:20.120 time without social media, where we didn't have to worry 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.960 about going out, who he was out with, going on 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:26.240 vacation with people, and things like that. So now things 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.560 are different. Obviously people can't get away with that. Do 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:31.280 you think that times were better when we didn't have 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:35.160 social media and we were able to move around? I 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:39.120 think definitely the privacy issue is what is the biggest 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.200 thing that makes us go what the heck? And I 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.400 don't get how people want to be so in your 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:47.440 business where they're like, are you dating him? Are y'all married? 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:50.280 Did y'all go on vacation? Because when you're dating someone 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.720 and you're liking someone, that's in a time in your 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.400 life where you're blissful and you're happy and it should 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:57.240 show on your face. And so everyone of you in 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:00.079 counter says, WHOA whatever you doing girl, you're doing it 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:01.800 because let me rub up against you. I want some 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:04.240 of that. It's like when you see love, it's just 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:08.920 automatically stopping, just go. It softens you, you know what 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:12.120 I mean? So all of us wants that unconditional love. 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.319 Right now. I'm just gonna get you from my granddaughter, 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:15.760 you know what I mean. But right now, that's just 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:17.440 what God has for me. You know what I mean? 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.199 I know your m Let I know, come on, because 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.560 I felt like young and all of young to all 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.679 the way old. Everybody has had a crish crash on 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.960 Lisa right coming for me now, you know absolutely, but 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:37.280 she had to back up the show. Now, But is 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:41.040 it something that or that person? Right for me. You know, 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:44.160 I'm in the middle of brass room businesses that I 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.800 am building. I know me. You can take me away 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.280 like how gone, and I'm like, I'll be back here, 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:53.160 you know, and that I can't do right now. I 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:56.439 can't do. But my body and my spirit may want 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.640 to take off, but God is saying not right now, 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.360 because you know you and I know you, so I'm 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.080 gonna makes you that you build. So whomever comes into 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:08.040 your life, they're not coming to fix me up. What 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.120 time I need him to help me in this particular, 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.560 you know, part of my life because you know, we 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.080 already come with baggage anyway, you know. I mean, I 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.040 just don't really feel like it's fair to come into 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.440 somebody's life when you just gotta fix them up. And 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:23.480 that's not to say that we're not building together. But 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.960 I want to come to the table with what I 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:27.360 come to the table with, because I'm asking him to 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:29.800 come to the table with something. So if I bought 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.120 the table, you need to bring the cheers or something. 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:35.560 You know, how does that affect your relationships? Like moving forward? 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.880 Obviously you were married, like you said, it's been ten 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.840 years or whatever, but you know very that was a 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.360 public breakup, and y'all went through a lot of things. 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.320 I know you said that you and Michael Missic are 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.760 still cool with each other, you know, to this day. 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:51.160 But how did that relationship affect I know, sometimes we do, 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:54.040 like you said, carry baggage with us into other situations. 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:56.920 So how did you come to forgiveness, you know, when 0:14:57.000 --> 0:14:58.960 it came to him, and how does that affect you 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.960 even to this day. First of all, the forgiveness came 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:05.600 later on. I was broken when I came back because 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.440 I came back with no money, no subtlement, no alimonia. 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:09.880 I just left, you know what I mean. And then 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:12.120 he had to go through a trial that he's going 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.920 through now, and so they tried to pull me in that. 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:16.960 So it was part of me that was like, who 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.880 am I and I still Lisa Ray the sex symbol? 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.080 Do I reinvent myself? Do I go back to what 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:25.720 I know? Like I was a little bit all over 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:27.760 the place, and then having to get back in the business, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.840 you know, so I was a survival boat, you know, 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.480 and so I had to get over that. And then 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.120 as people were staying with you gotta you know, forgive him, 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:38.000 And it was like I'm a new Christian. I'm not 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.800 there yet, you know what I mean. But I had 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:44.360 to to take away the guilt that I felt, and 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.640 then I had to own up to my responsibility, you 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.200 know what I mean. I had to remember the things 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.160 that I did that could have countered what he did. 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.120 Or for every action, you deserve a reaction, you know 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:57.120 what I mean. So I was like, Okay, if I 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:58.880 wouldn't have did this, he probably wouldn't have done that 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.960 and done that. You go to that in your relationship 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:02.600 because one thing is for sure, you don't want to 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:04.720 bring all of that to your next relationship. I want 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:06.920 to know who was that, what was my fault? So 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:10.840 I won't take that to my other relationships. And so 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.920 after I was able to do that, and I think 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:19.280 the time and the distance also dictates to that. And 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.640 I just sat down with my vision board and the 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.560 goals that I wanted to you know, in the growth, 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.800 my maturity kicked in. It was like, now, you know, 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:29.720 you couldn't did that better than that. You know you 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.240 thought you was just hot ship and just kept it moving, 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.480 and you know what I mean. And so now, which 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:38.480 is why it's important for me to use my platform 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:42.240 and my voice and which your way that's mature now 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:46.160 because we do need love, and we do need loyalty, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:50.160 and we do need unity, and so trying to tear 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:54.880 down anybody right now in this climate should be forbidden. 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.680 Right now, I met there, So how did you guys 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.160 have a conversation even after all of that, Like you 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.760 feel bad that he ended up going to jail, right, 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.800 did you? No? No, No, he's still going through the trial. 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:09.040 He ran for two years and they called him in 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.560 Brazil and so he was in jail over there for 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.560 a while and then he came back to Turks and 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:18.280 Cakos and is on house arrest now and a waiting 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.720 to find out what's going to happen. So if you've 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:22.600 been going through something for five years and going to 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:25.679 trout every day, that's a part of your life. Bright 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.520 thereness they have stolen and taken from you because you 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:33.600 feel from your position as well, your financial your your marriage, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.880 like everything is just driddle down. That makes you sit 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:39.320 on your button, go did I get here? And that's 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.640 when you've got your real friends are too, by the way, 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:46.600 all those people when that was around, but what is everybody? 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:48.240 You know what I mean? Would you let you know, 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:51.440 your stuff is your stuff. You gotta go through your 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.920 own stuff yourself. And when you realize that, it builds 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:58.320 strength and it builds character, and then you realize, Okay, 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.480 that type of pain. I don't wanna go through through 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.119 that type of pain, no motion. Let me do something different, 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:04.600 and that's why I'm mad at my life. Let me 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:06.639 do something different. Did you look at that as like 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.920 that was his karma? And you kind of because even 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:12.920 though you were I'm pretty sure you had love for him, 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:14.960 but you were in a place where you were also 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.480 angry with him. So I know, someone like me, i'd 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:19.439 be like that, that's your karma, what you're gonna do 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.800 with it? You know what I mean. I didn't see 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.240 karma at the beginning because at first there was the 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:29.280 allegations of rape that took place, and so I had 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:30.840 to deal with that as a wife. You know, it 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.879 was like white and this girl is a white eighteen 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.359 year old girls like, look what's going on here? But 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:39.920 it was essential, but still as a wife, consptual sex 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.480 was still like what are you doing exactly eighteen? You 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.480 know what I mean? So that was like a blow, 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:47.480 you know what I mean? And then you know, the 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:51.080 corruption of governmental funds that he's going through now kicked 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:53.840 in two weeks right after that. So it was like bam, bam, 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:57.480 you know what I mean. And so I was like, yeah, not, 0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:59.560 I didn't. I didn't sign up for all of this 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:02.879 through all kind of stuff and my friends and my 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.800 friends friends and induced you to our friends and all 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:10.040 that kind of unfriendly stuff. And it was like, what's happening? 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:13.199 And I said, no, I care more about me and 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.199 how you gonna treat me and how all of that 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:18.919 is gonna reflect on me than this this life that 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:21.040 you're trying to just give me. Because money does not 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:23.800