WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: From Stressed to Soothed 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.399 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:08.879 All Right, this week's Thursday Therapy. We've got doctor taits on. 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:12.320 She's a clinical psychologist in New York and California. She 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:14.720 has a new book coming out, Stress Reset, How to 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:17.599 soothe your body and mind in minutes. Let's get her on. 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:20.440 Hey girl, Hi, it's nice to meet you. 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:21.840 Nice to me too, So I hear we have a 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:22.600 mutual friend. 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.720 I too. I was like, You're so happy that we're 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:28.200 talking about this. I know. I got a. 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:29.880 Text this morning and I was like, Oh, why is 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:33.040 doctor Drunker texting me? And I'm like, by the way, 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.120 people listening, Doctor Unger is my boob surgeon. He's a 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:38.360 plastic surgeon here in Nashville. But I was like, ah, 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:40.800 he's probably checking in to see how my postpartum boobs are. 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:45.680 But and I was like, oh no, he's like he's 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:47.199 a happy New Year, hope all as well. He's a 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.479 small world. You're having a guest in your podcast, Jenny. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.480 She's a she's married to my best friend from growing up. 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:55.480 And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so cool. What 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:56.680 a small world. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.440 Yes, I'm excited to talk to you and it does 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:00.720 feel like we're already friends. 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:04.240 I know, I love that. But I was reading your 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.480 bio last night and a few things. I know you 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:09.959 have a new book out. It's called Stress Reset, How 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:11.959 to Soothe your Body and Mind in Minutes. But I 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.440 was also when I was reading just again your bio, 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:17.920 your breakdown. You're also the author of How to Be 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:21.400 Single and Happy, science based strategies for keeping your sanity 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:23.680 while looking for a soulmate, and I just was like, wow, 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.240 this is you. Just You've got it all. So I'm 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:27.880 just I want to dive into your book. But can 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:29.560 we also talk about that one too, because I think 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:33.920 a lot of people would want to hear the you know, 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:36.600 what that book is about, and then the strategies for 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.960 just being happy in a moment when you probably are 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:40.840 not where you want to be. 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.440 You know, I would love to talk to that book. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:43.840 Thank you. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.760 Perfect. So okay, so let's start with because when I 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:48.840 read that, I'm like, Okay, how to soothe your body 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:51.480 and mind in minutes? I was like, all right, just 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:57.720 how because sometimes and I will say, my body is 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.000 my first indicator when I don't feel safe, and I 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:04.160 just go to that place of either past trauma or something. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:07.400 But for me, it's how do you regulate the body 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.800 when you are being triggered by something that is activating you. 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.720 Janna, this is a big question, and I just want 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:17.560 people to know from the get go this is all 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.720 things that you can do in minutes. There's no long meditations, 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:25.720 big medications or martinis required. And I include seventy five 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:29.400 different tools because different things work for different people. And 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.160 so if we think about it, stress or any emotion 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:37.880 really has three components. There's really distressing thinking, Then there's 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.440 physical sensations understandably that come with really negative thoughts, whether 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:45.160 it's muscle tension or scowling or your heart racing. And 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:48.440 then there's behaviors, so sending an aggressive text or yelling 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:53.840 or canceling or avoiding. And so by being really mindful 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:57.840 of each of those three compartments or components and then 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.840 intervening at each angle from mind, body to. 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.079 Behavior, we have a whole buffet of options. 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:07.000 And so like different genes work well for different people 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.040 and fit better on you have a favorite, there are 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.560 a lot of options, and so specifically for body, let's 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:16.680 say one of my favorites is it seems so simple, 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:19.440 but it's really subtle and profound at the same time. 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:21.919 But a lot of times when we're angry, if we're 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.959 sitting in traffic and like someone is moving five miles 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:26.280 per hour in front of us. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:27.960 Or you're in like a really long line, when you're 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:28.560 in a huge. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:31.799 Rash and guessing that you are tensing your whole face, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.080 and that is probably like almost tipping into attention headache. 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:39.440 And if you do something as simple as a half smile, 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:41.840 which is really a quarter of a smile, which is 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:45.920 you know, ever so slightly amaizing your lips, that automatically 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.280 like releases tension in your face, and that creates an 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:52.960 ambience that's more conducive to being more accepting. And so 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.840 just from the outside and relaxing your face will automatically 0:03:56.960 --> 0:04:00.840 like kind of quiet judgmental thoughts and allow you to 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.840 practice more acceptance. So that's just one of very many 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.080 that I personally am trying to do that all the time. 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:08.920 And again, there's so many options. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.200 How do you do that though, when you're so angry, 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.200 or you're hurt, or you're broken, or you're because I 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:18.000 can imagine again, something was really hard that I was 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.000 dealing with, just you know, a few weeks ago, and 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.000 it's like if someone told me just a smile to 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.239 fix out it that there's no there's like my body's 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:27.640 like shaking, you know what I mean, Like how do 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:30.919 you change? Like is it? Are we talking? And just 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.719 because I'm like yes, like you said, it sounds it 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.440 sounds simple, but at the same time, it sounds also 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:40.159 hard when you're in that moment where you're where you're 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:45.360 so your body is so taken over by stress or anxiety. 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.520 And I'm so happy that you raised that, because this 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.120 is not the thing to do if you're angry for 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.560 a good reason, or the anger is serving you, if 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:56.760 your anger is serving you, if you're angry at someone 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:00.360 that disappointed you, your face is the best community cater 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.640 that is providing the other person like very powerful information. 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:05.719 And so we don't want to do this. I would 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.359 never recommend suppressing or just like smiling through it. This 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:13.120 is if you you know you're in traffic and fighting 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.839 is just going to give you a migraine, not improve 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:18.520 the situation. But if someone pissed you off, then I 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.760 would not say like half smile through it. I would 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.720 say there's there's so many other things. I mean it's 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:27.040 we could totally dive into the details of why what 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:29.839 this person did, but it might be giving the benefit 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:30.320 of the doubt. 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:31.560 It might be asserting yourself. 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.520 And there's like a really practical, user friendly recipe that 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.080 I teach in the book on exactly how to assert 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.599 yourself that you could use, like as a template to 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:44.599 plug and play different situations into. But yeah, different different 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:47.840 tools for different times. And if someone really pissed you off, 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:49.720 I would not say half smile is your tool. 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.360 No, no, and no one, No one pissed me off. 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:56.520 It was more just you know, I think stress, postpartum hormones, 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.440 all the things. You just I'm a little probably more 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:03.560 tense than I normally am, you know. And so that's 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.120 where in that moment, I'm like, oh, it'd be tough 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:10.599 to smile or to do the you know, the lift 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.520 of the lip. But like, is there anything else that 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:14.640 in your book too, where you talk about, okay, how 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.880 to ease your mind a little bit in those situations 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:18.840 of stress or. 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:24.200 Yeah, yeah, when you are postpartum. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.000 And I'm so grateful that you're doing this in such 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:28.080 a busy time. 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.040 I think, really taking a minute. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:34.480 I love the skill of self validation really normalizing the normal, 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:37.000 because a lot of times we might feel angry and 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.360 then stack onto that like I should feel happy, I 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.440 should be grateful, or what's wrong with me? And I 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.640 think just normalizing like it is really exhausting and it's 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.039 really understandable to not feel like your best self when 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:53.120 sleep is compromised. That automatically spikes cortisol levels and affects 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:56.479 your ability to think clearly and compromises your ability to 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.200 feel great. And so even just the act of knowing 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:01.240 like it makes sense to feel this way and it's 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:03.120 okay to feel this way, I don't need to judge that. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.720 I don't need to also believe the things that I'm 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.479 thinking in this state, because it's a real problem to 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.880 believe everything you think when you're feeling really lousy and 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.000 you're not sleeping enough. 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:18.080 Do you have tips in the book to how to 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:23.560 combat the snowball effective stress where it's you? Because for me, 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.680 I know I do this. When one thing stresses me out, 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:28.120 fifty things will then stress me out. And it's not 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.800 even and I'm normally never stressed about the twenty nine, 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:34.320 thirtieth or fortieth thing, But when I'm stressed about one 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:38.120 like I compile everything together. Do you have anything for that? 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.080 Yes, And so that is something that we all do, 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:45.120 and a lot of us do this in crazy, you know, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:48.480 comical ways. You know. I just remember when I was postpartum. 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.040 I was really stressed and overwhelmed going back to work, 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:55.440 and I was like literally just thinking about all the 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:57.680 things I had to do and how I had no energy. 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:58.760 And how I had no time. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:03.280 And then I started mindlessly picking at my fingernail and 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:07.320 little did I know that when you are postpartum your compromised. 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:12.320 And so I developed a crazy antibiotic resistant infection that 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:16.360 like required minor surgery and multiple visits with infectious disease. 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:21.000 And so literally, I think this is everything, Like when 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.720 we are really stressed, we think in ways that make 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.600 things much more stressful, and we act in. 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:28.360 Ways like it was so ironic. 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:30.200 I was like, I don't have time, and then here 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.560 I am with like five follow up visits to different 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.280 doctors and sitting in the er for many hours. And 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:39.640 so I think, even there's so many things, but one 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:44.199 very specific thing is just labeling I'm in emotion mind, 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.360 I'm not in reasonable mind, which is just the facts. 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:50.040 I'm not in wise mind, which is where my head 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:51.679 and heart are aligned. 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:53.440 But I'm in emotion mind like. 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.280 That automatically gives you a little bit of working distance 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.959 from taking your thoughts. So seriously, if like it's the 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:00.360 middle of the night and you hear a no ways 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:03.480 emotion mind, like that does not mean that you're about 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:07.000 to be you know, broken in your house is about 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:10.360 to be robbed, Or if you're afraid of flying rather 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.920 than thinking turbulence is a sign that you're in harm's way, 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:18.280 taking a second to realize, like, no, no emotion mind, 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:19.280 this is my fear of flying. 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:22.960 Not a crash is coming. 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.520 I mean, you bring up flying and I'm probably the 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.600 worst flyer there is, just because I don't like turbulence. 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:45.200 I don't like to know. Okay, I would love to 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:47.040 sit next to the pilot the entire time, and like 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.360 are we good? Is this good? I think you just help. 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:51.880 You're at a loss of control too, because it's it's 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.120 in their hands and you don't know what's going on 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:58.640 or the weather or anything like that. So uh with 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.760 that aspect of things too, Like I tend to overthink 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:03.640 a lot of things in my brain, like does not 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.960 shut off at times I know you say, you know 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.120 there's you can do this in a minute. So and 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:12.480 instead of having doing a meditation or quieting the mind, 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.720 is there, what can you do for the overthinking of 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:19.920 just like stopping your brain from just overacting. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.400 When you're afraid on planes? Can I ask what specifically 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.040 comes up for you, like what are your thoughts, what 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.319 are the sensations in your body? I know you said 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:29.839 your urge is to just check in to make sure 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:30.640 everything's okay. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:36.040 I don't like I don't like feeling trapped that comes 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.160 from a PTSD situation from when I was nineteen. I 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:43.560 do not like the feeling of being trapped. I also 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:47.920 don't like the fact that if something were to happen, well, 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.719 I think it's gotten worse as a mom. So when 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:54.600 I had kids, really to start to paint the picture, like, 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.440 oh my god, if something happens and I'm on a 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.840 plane and they're not going to have their mom and 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.840 so I think there's the year, and I know the 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.199 I've gone to theearflying dot Com and I know all 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.640 the statistics and you could tell me that till you 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.439 know you're blue in the face. But I'm still every 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.600 time we hit a bump. I'm like, I start to 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.440 freak out. Are we okay? Look at the flight attendance. 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:16.199 You know, my body just goes into essentially fight or flight, 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:19.280 you know where I just am like I'm on high 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:22.760 alert and I'm not in I'm not in my right brain, 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:27.680 Like I'm not I'm not rational, I'm like, we're going down. 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:31.560 I really appreciate you opening up about that, and I 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:35.200 think a lot of people listening probably relate to your 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.520 your thoughts and feelings. I think the first thing in 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.160 this is something I talk about in the book, is 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:44.840 having a traumatic event in your past. It creates an 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:49.719 ongoing vulnerability and kind of fight or flight response. And 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:53.600 so surprisingly, there are treatments for PTSD that don't take 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:56.600 very long and aren't too much work. For example, there's 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.760 something called written exposure therapy where you write about the 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:04.320 trauma for five sessions. Each session is thirty minutes and 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:07.160 you write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about the 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:11.440 event and how it affects you today. And remarkably, five 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.440 thirty minute writing sessions work as well as much longer treatments, 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.120 and these have been This has been used with veterans 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:21.360 and people that have been through very intense, prolonged trauma, 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.560 and so I think the first thing is to really 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.640 understand that PTSD is going to be make a lot 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.440 of day to day things much more stressful, but for 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.920 people to realize that there are really promising research back 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:38.239 to ways to treat PTSD that will give you more bandwidth. 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.040 Interesting, I've never heard of that one, Like I've done 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.600 the e MDR. I mean, and it's interesting when I 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:47.959 go to therapy sometimes it'll go back to that. I'm like, God, 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:51.040 I've worked on that for so many years, you know, like, 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.880 how how do I go back to that place? And 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:58.120 I've never heard of that that the writing thing that's 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:00.600 very interesting, Yeah, And kind. 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.440 Of the philosophy behind that is that when a traumatic 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.360 event happens, we store it in a way that's splintered, 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:09.840 and so we can continue to re experience it, but 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:15.280 by slowing down and staying with it in the present, 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.600 we can we can kind of close it out and 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.720 create separation from it. And again, this is a really 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.160 remarkable treatment. And this is one of the reasons I 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:28.360 wrote this book, because so many people can't necessarily afford therapy, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.240 or so many people might be doing things that aren't 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:36.560 the most researched back to recent exciting ways to improve things, 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.480 and so certainly I think written exposure therapies are really 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:43.720 promising avenue. And I think another key part of flying 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:48.240 is radical acceptance. A lot of times we are fighting, 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:51.400 you know, there's something difficult, and instead of accepting, we 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.400 are fighting, and so I would you know, my patients laugh, 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.480 but they know that they are not allowed to talk 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:58.360 to the stewardess or not allowed to talk to the pilot. 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:00.960 There's no questions about how does how are things looking 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:05.720 today or just typical. They need to, you know, they 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:07.599 need to if they never pray, they're not supposed to 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:11.199 be praying, Like, there needs to be this attitude of 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:15.720 acceptance and willingness and allowing what is because trying to 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.520 direct things that are out of our control is going 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.760 to be. You're not a pilot, that's not your I 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.240 mean it's kind of playful but true, it's like none 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.480 of your business. Like you just got to You're doing 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:29.800 this because this matters to you. You want to be courageous. 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:35.960 You're not, you know, a puppeteer orchestrating, right. 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.680 I like that nuts. I've never had it spun that way, 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.640 But I really, I really like that. I'm curious to 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.440 your thoughts on alcohol when it comes to stress, because 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:47.560 you know, at the end of the day, people sometimes 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.400 some people like to sit down, have a glass of 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:53.320 wine or crack open something. What are your views on that, 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:55.480 because you know, we've had like doctor aman on and 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.880 you know he's talked about the negative effects of alcohol, 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:02.400 Like do you see that as a negative as well, 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:06.760 or is it something where you're like, you know, in 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:08.520 every once in a while or something. 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:12.680 I don't want to speak in all or nothing terms, 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.400 but generally speaking, alcohol does affect our sleep quality. Even 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.040 two drinks takes a toll on our sleep. 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:19.400 And so. 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:22.800 My whole thing is, I don't want people to do 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.760 the equivalent of taking out a high interest credit card 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.160 to cope with stress. If you're going to take something 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.680 to take the edge off that then messes up your sleep, 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.480 that's really not the best. 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:35.200 Long term solution. 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.320 And so I think if you're going out socially and 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.880 you want to have a drink, that's one thing once 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:44.440 a week. But I would really, I really hope to 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:47.040 offer people a whole host of other things to do 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:51.720 that are much more empowering. And besides alcohol, like I really, 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:54.880 one of the things that stresses me out a ton 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.120 is the thought that so many people, the fact that 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.640 so many people are taking medications like anti anxiety medications 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:06.680 like klanic ban or xyannex, that they're really actually painfully ironic. 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.080 It's like, when you need to be your sharpest, you're 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.760 taking a medication that makes you think less clearly and 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.640 slows you down. And they're also incredibly habit for me, 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:18.040 and the detox is really really stressful. And so I 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.920 want everyone listening to take a moment to really marinate 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:24.480 on this idea that your body is your best pharmacy. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.720 You don't need alcohol, you don't need anti anxiety medications. 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:29.800 We could talk about pot. I don't want everyone to 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.000 hate me, but cannabis is not a cure for anxiety. 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.480 There are much better things within you. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.920 So what would you say then for anxiety? Because I 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:55.200 used to be on anxiety medicine for oh my gosh, 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.520 I'm fifteen now, all of them I forty. I started 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:01.720 when I was almost twenty me, so I mean, yeah, 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:05.920 most I was almost on it for nineteen years. Recently 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:07.240 got off last October. 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:09.160 Congratulations that's a really big deal. 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:14.680 Thank you. But having said that, I've had the worst 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:19.000 postpartum anxiety. It's probably been depressions underneath there for sure, 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.520 but the most it's been anxiety. And I've often wondered, 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:27.760 you know, should I go back on because I know 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:30.280 all the coping mechanisms of how not to have an 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.560 anxiety attack. I know, you know, all the things that 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:34.600 I've learned over the amount of years, which is why 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:37.600 I also I eliminated one of my biggest stressors which 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:40.639 then which was a marriage, and then after that, you know, 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:42.640 I didn't have an anxiety. I'm like, okay, like this 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:44.440 is you know now I also know how to cope 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.280 with it. But now it's I have that anxiety that's 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.160 coming back. And I do have Xenx in my purse. 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.560 I don't take it, but I like to know that 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.520 I have it if I ever have like a moment 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:55.359 on a plane or something where I can. But I mean, 0:17:55.400 --> 0:18:02.520 I haven't taken a xanax and probably ten years maybe, 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.240 but I always have it in my purse. It's like 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.399 almost a security blanket for me to know that I 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:08.919 have it in case, which I think is not a 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:12.520 healthy habit. But I still refill it to know that 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:16.520 it's there when the expiration date goes. But you know 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:19.960 what are then because I do do not believe it, 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.119 not not to believe. But when you look at like 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:24.239 the serotonin levels and all the things, they say, Well, 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.160 if the serotonin levels are off, like what then can 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:29.960 you do to not be So if I'm having anxiety, 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:32.000 then what would you basically say to me to do 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:34.280 to not go back on anxiety medicine? 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.239 Well, the reason that you keep the issiatics in your 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:40.560 purse is because you're afraid of what what are you like? 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:42.600 What would be a situation where you would need to take. 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:47.119 That I pass out or like I'm on the verge 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:50.320 and uh it's like a panic attack. Yeah, Like, let's 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:53.199 say I'm stuck, which is another reason why you know 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.320 I don't. I would never go on. I used to 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:59.480 never drive in the expressway because I again I would 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:03.040 the feeling of being stuck would get me dizzy to 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:04.480 the fact that I have to pull off on the 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:06.639 expressway right, So I just am like I avoided it. 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:08.879 I lived in LA for however many years, ten years, 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:10.199 never one on the four or five or the one 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:11.960 on one. I was like side streets all the way. 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:16.760 So then I worked my way up, did amdr for 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.639 it and all the things, and I stopped. I was 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:21.520 able to drive on the expressway, so I'm able to 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:23.520 do it now, but I have to stay on like 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:25.280 the right lane so I know I can get off, 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.040 and I'll never do it during rush hour because then 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:29.040 that feeling of like being stuck again will just get me. 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.440 I mean it's almost like a vertigo feeling where I 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.480 could just get super dizzy and I feel lightheaded. And 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:36.879 so for me in that moment, I'm like, Okay, I 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:39.720 would obviously don't drive in dousantics. That's not what I'm saying, 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:40.879 but at least I know. I'm like, well, if I 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.159 have a panic attack, I can take this and I 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:44.000 know I'll be fine. 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:45.600 I'm so excited to talk to you about this, and 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.320 nothing makes me happier than to talk about this, and 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:48.520 I really appreciate you. 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:49.600 Being so open. 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:54.159 And so for anyone listening, the cure for panic is 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.720 practicing panic. Everyone needs to remember this. The cure for 0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:59.320 panic is practicing panic. 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:01.680 Explain because I what do you mean? Yeah? 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:03.960 Yes, So when someone comes into my office and tells 0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:05.320 me that they have panic. And this is all in 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:05.680 the book. 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:07.199 And this is one of the reasons I wrote this 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:09.800 book is because people need to know this. If you 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:13.400 have had a panic attack, you are probably avoiding anything 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:17.439