Speaker 1: Hey there, folks, this is I Do Part two, the
Speaker 1: podcast where if you got love right the first time,
Speaker 1: you need to go ahead and stop listening right now,
Speaker 1: because this podcast ain't for you. It's for those of
Speaker 1: us who didn't get love right the first time, or
Speaker 1: maybe the second time. There's someone didn't get it right
Speaker 1: the third or the fourth, that's okay. We are here
Speaker 1: for the folks who have not given up on love
Speaker 1: and still have hope of getting it right. We are
Speaker 1: a couple of your hosts. I'm TJ.
Speaker 2: Holmes and I'm Amy Roeboch. And yeah, it's a new year.
Speaker 2: It's twenty twenty five, which means there are new trends
Speaker 2: in dating.
Speaker 3: Did you know that, t J?
Speaker 1: I didn't know. Well, I'm not dating. But if you
Speaker 1: think I need to use these, no that these will
Speaker 1: come in handy. I am now listening.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, But we are there for you,
Speaker 2: for those of you who are dating, you're single, you're
Speaker 2: ready to mingle, you want to couple up, it's cuffing season,
Speaker 2: all those things.
Speaker 1: So it's new right for some people. Some people are
Speaker 1: newly single, are they not?
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true. The new year can bring a
Speaker 2: lot of new opportunities. It could close some chapters and
Speaker 2: some old love. So yeah, a lot of people are
Speaker 2: starting a new and they've got a new energized excitement
Speaker 2: about finding that person, that soulmate, that soul mate yeah life. Yeah,
Speaker 2: isn't everybody looking for the loves of their life?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and look, this is an opportunity. This is actually
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. A they're single voluntarily. This
Speaker 1: isn't just a matter we talk so often about people
Speaker 1: looking for somebody and I can't find. Well, a lot
Speaker 1: of people are very happy right now to be single,
Speaker 1: and it happens a lot uncoupling happens around the holiday. Right,
Speaker 1: you're looking for a new opportunity. It's New Year's eve.
Speaker 1: I don't want to kiss you go up as again.
Speaker 2: And so, yes, people are starting the new year, and
Speaker 2: we wanted to pass along some of these new dating trends.
Speaker 3: It could help you on your journey.
Speaker 2: Right. So the first one, and this is interesting, we're
Speaker 2: told one of the new dating trends of twenty twenty
Speaker 2: five is the return of romance. I didn't know it
Speaker 2: went away, but apparently many folks are embracing romantic gestures
Speaker 2: and a significant number of you identify as a romantic,
Speaker 2: would you say you are a romantic?
Speaker 3: TJ.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think that's for me to say. Is
Speaker 1: it is for you? Is it not? I would? I
Speaker 1: like gestures. I like simplicity. I like I guess you
Speaker 1: could call it old school, just a simple sending flowers
Speaker 1: when it's not the birthday or it's not Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: it's just a random Wednesday, and I wanted to say
Speaker 1: I love you or I miss you. Those types of
Speaker 1: gestures I suppose are romantic. But the I love that idea.
Speaker 1: I get caught up in it as well, but unfortunately
Speaker 1: it's not the reality for so many people, and some
Speaker 1: people the same to thing that's like those are outdated.
Speaker 3: I don't think they are at all.
Speaker 2: And you are a romantic, by the way, and you
Speaker 2: are good at that, and I definitely would identify as
Speaker 2: a romantic as well. I like all the little small gestures.
Speaker 2: I like those small reminders, a note that just says
Speaker 2: I love you, you know, or a little meme. We
Speaker 2: have our little memes that we send each other.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is key. Now, when you talk about
Speaker 1: being a romantic, it was always a matter of a
Speaker 1: gesture that the guy does or you, Is there anything
Speaker 1: a woman can do as a romantic and you be
Speaker 1: a romantic but be giving.
Speaker 2: I would absolutely say so yes, so bye bye. It
Speaker 2: is that same notion of saying I love you, of
Speaker 2: sending you something, or reminding someone throughout the day when
Speaker 2: it's unexpected that I'm thinking of you, or I can't
Speaker 2: wait to see you, those types of things. And I mean,
Speaker 2: you can go as much as if you've been in
Speaker 2: a longer relationship setting up a date or create an
Speaker 2: experience gift where you say we're going to go somewhere together,
Speaker 2: we're going to do something, We're gonna date each other.
Speaker 2: I think we take each other for granted sometimes. So yeah,
Speaker 2: those are all romantic gestures I feel like. Anyway, Apparently
Speaker 2: Bumble is predicting fifty five percent of women in the
Speaker 2: United States this year will proclaim themselves as romantics. I'm
Speaker 2: surprised it's fifty five percent guys lower high, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: think it's low low.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, I maybe I only know the world through
Speaker 2: my own lens, but it just seems like more women
Speaker 2: than not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that you say? No, you say chivalry
Speaker 1: is dead? Not Yeah, not romance. You say chivalry is dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, randos aren't holding the door open or letting women
Speaker 2: leave the elevator first or get into the subway car first.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's dead.
Speaker 2: Another trend intentional connections. So singles are moving away from
Speaker 2: swiping left or right and just kind of seeing what happens,
Speaker 2: but focusing on finding that deeper, more meaningful relationship connection
Speaker 2: not a situationship.
Speaker 1: I'm rolling my eyes because I have I I tune
Speaker 1: out every time I hear deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships.
Speaker 1: Why because you have me watching all these damn love
Speaker 1: Islands of the World and all these dating shows where
Speaker 1: every time I hear it all the time, I'm looking
Speaker 1: for a deeper connection. I want something more meaningful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's hot. Did you see that data? It's so I
Speaker 1: kind of tune out. What does that even mean? I
Speaker 1: get what it means I suppose supposed to mean.
Speaker 2: But is that really I think it means it's not
Speaker 2: just about sex. Oh?
Speaker 1: Is that what is supposed?
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 1: More meaningful and swipe based?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because swipe based is like what you're doing right now.
Speaker 2: It's the booty call, kind of like the accepted booty
Speaker 2: call right, booty call app?
Speaker 1: It can be not booty are that booty call apps?
Speaker 2: I think so it depends on what tom a day
Speaker 2: you're swiping left or right. But I think a lot
Speaker 2: of younger folk and I just can only speak, even
Speaker 2: from what I'm hearing from my daughter who's in her
Speaker 2: early twenties and their friends. I'm not looking for relationship.
Speaker 2: I just want a situationship. I just want to have fun.
Speaker 2: So I think the point is this year people are
Speaker 2: maybe pivoting and saying, you know what enough of that?
Speaker 2: You know, just surface stuff or sex stuff. But I
Speaker 2: actually want someone who's my best friend, who I can
Speaker 2: go do this with or talk about that with. And
Speaker 2: so yes, the deeper connection versus just the sex.
Speaker 1: And every time we've had a conversation with someone about this,
Speaker 1: they end up going going back, well, where am I
Speaker 1: supposed to meet these people? I can't get to know
Speaker 1: anybody because of this and that, And it ends up
Speaker 1: being so often what they're talking about here a swiping
Speaker 1: or dating app. But this is challenging. It's easy to
Speaker 1: say it, but it is, from our experience in doing
Speaker 1: this podcast, very challenging.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of women feel like they're ready
Speaker 2: for it, but they can't find the man who's ready
Speaker 2: for that, who wants to have, who's looking for a
Speaker 2: long time or a long term partner or a life partner.
Speaker 2: I think from what I've heard, that's always been the struggle.
Speaker 2: So the dating apps are tough because usually the thought
Speaker 2: is that a lot of men are on there for
Speaker 2: one reason and one reason only.
Speaker 1: And what the micro romance?
Speaker 2: A micromance? This is a trend. Oh, this is what
Speaker 2: I was kind of talking about that emphasizes those small,
Speaker 2: meaningful interactions rather than grand gestures. And you know, this
Speaker 2: is my language because I cannot stand the big gestures
Speaker 2: like look at me doing something for you. I'm bringing
Speaker 2: balloons to work in front of everybody because I'm the
Speaker 2: best boyfriend of the year, or you know, look at
Speaker 2: me giving you this.
Speaker 3: It just I feel like it's self serving.
Speaker 2: Like sometimes these big grand gestures are kind of more
Speaker 2: about the person making the gesture than the person they're
Speaker 2: giving it to. Look at what a good partner I am.
Speaker 2: And the small little ones where you might not get
Speaker 2: the big atta boy or the big like okay, you
Speaker 2: you making dinner and then cleaning the dishes and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I come in and I'm thinking, he
Speaker 2: just made dinner and did the dishes.
Speaker 3: That is so sweet.
Speaker 2: That is so amazing, and that is such an unbelievable
Speaker 2: recognize micro gesture that you didn't have to do that,
Speaker 2: I didn't ask you to do, but you did it anyway,
Speaker 2: And that would be an example.
Speaker 1: Well, some would argue you, yeah, he's supposed to help
Speaker 1: out anyway. He's supposed to cook, he's supposed to clean.
Speaker 1: But to your point, usually the guy isn't often doing right.
Speaker 2: Well. If you cook and clean, that is above and beyond.
Speaker 2: And I think those are the moments you know it's
Speaker 2: true though, and just it's the little things that aren't.
Speaker 3: For everyone else. They're just for your partner.
Speaker 2: And even if you don't get a thank you or
Speaker 2: a recognition, you know you did something sweet for your partner.
Speaker 1: I love that you made me think of something here.
Speaker 1: Your parents were here and at least was coming back
Speaker 1: Sabina and I had to go to La right. I
Speaker 1: wanted to while we were gone. I wanted to send
Speaker 1: you flowers. I didn't.
Speaker 2: Because you didn't want my parents to see.
Speaker 1: I didn't want anybody to think I was trying to
Speaker 1: do something to be impressive while other people I actually
Speaker 1: didn't send you flowers because I didn't want to be
Speaker 1: seen as the guy doing it for a grand gesture
Speaker 1: and I wanted to.
Speaker 2: I actually appreciate that because I totally get that you
Speaker 2: weren't doing it so that my parents think, Wow, what
Speaker 2: a great guy Amy has. It's I do think that
Speaker 2: it matters your intention if it's just to make somebody smile,
Speaker 2: not for everyone else to see.
Speaker 3: I love that, So I'm a huge fan of.
Speaker 1: But tell your parents that you didn't get flowers because
Speaker 1: of them.
Speaker 2: But it's so funny. I totally get. I get that,
Speaker 2: and I and I support that date with me.
Speaker 1: So this is I shouldn't say silly to each his
Speaker 1: own or her own.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's because we're older and we didn't grow up
Speaker 2: on social media and we didn't take people along with
Speaker 2: us on our journeys to whatever.
Speaker 1: Okay, well we're talking. There's two different things. Okay, if
Speaker 1: you take them along your journey on social media, that's
Speaker 1: one thing. I thought it was meaning like we're literally
Speaker 1: bringing somebody, But.
Speaker 2: Here's no, no, no, I get that. Actually, I totally
Speaker 2: that I need a wing woman No Day with Me,
Speaker 2: singles bringing others along for their romantic journey, sharing the
Speaker 2: ups and downs of their love lives through social media.
Speaker 2: And so people are actually turning their journey into finding someone,
Speaker 2: their romantic escapades into content. And so then their followers
Speaker 2: are weighing in. They're either cheering or they're booing. But see,
Speaker 2: here's what the problem is with that for me is
Speaker 2: that once you invite people along your journey, they get
Speaker 2: to say whatever they think about it, and that can absolutely.
Speaker 3: Impact your decision on what you do next.
Speaker 2: And not everybody gets it just because they see a
Speaker 2: video you posted or a picture you posted. So I
Speaker 2: think it's a little dangerous kind of It's almost like
Speaker 2: you're letting people way in and I know.
Speaker 3: That's part of what this podcast is.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to. I don't want to. Like,
Speaker 2: I think that's great if you're open to the Peanut
Speaker 2: gallery saying whatever they think.
Speaker 3: For me, that's a little tough.
Speaker 1: My problem is you let them in from the beginning,
Speaker 1: but when does it end? At some point you're feeding
Speaker 1: them like you have no excuse six months, eight months,
Speaker 1: year and a half later to say, well, I want
Speaker 1: some privacy or don't talk to me about my breakup
Speaker 1: or give us a moment. You don't have it. I'm
Speaker 1: speaking of it as if it's a public figure. But no,
Speaker 1: just you do that, And now you've got to let
Speaker 1: everybody into the pain. How much do you give them
Speaker 1: along the way?
Speaker 2: It's easy when things are going great, when things are
Speaker 2: fun and exciting, when things are interesting. But when things
Speaker 2: actually get personal and problematic, which they always will every
Speaker 2: single relationship, then it becomes a little trickier. And we
Speaker 2: only know this because we've spent our professional lives in
Speaker 2: front of the camera, and that has invited a camera
Speaker 2: or a lens, so to speak, into our personal lives.
Speaker 2: And it cuts both ways, people, it cuts both ways.
Speaker 2: So just know what you're getting into.
Speaker 1: My other issue here?
Speaker 3: Oh what's your other issue? The other person?
Speaker 1: Would you want to date somebody that's putting all of
Speaker 1: it out there?
Speaker 2: So I thought that too.
Speaker 1: Everybody in the world, give me your opinion about this.
Speaker 2: Guy, and do you want to be that guy? Oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, So you're limiting who would date you, because
Speaker 2: a lot of folks wouldn't date you knowing that they're
Speaker 2: about to be talked about, commented about. I would think
Speaker 2: that would be the right thing to do, and if
Speaker 2: you didn't and they found out later, that would be
Speaker 2: another problem altogether. So you have to find the person
Speaker 2: who's willing to be on that journey with you.
Speaker 1: That's interesting hang to each is Kelly Bensimon. Ye, she's
Speaker 1: doing She's essentially letting people go along on the journey
Speaker 1: while she's dating it.
Speaker 2: And there are plenty of people who love the idea
Speaker 2: that who like the attention and like the excitement of
Speaker 2: having people come on the ride with them.
Speaker 1: Let's try for a week. We won't make it to There's.
Speaker 2: No way we're doing that, all right. Dopamine dates, Oh okay,
Speaker 2: we could get it. This is another trend. These are
Speaker 2: designed to create excitement and joy, moving beyond traditional dating experiences.
Speaker 2: The example we're given is going to an escape room.
Speaker 1: Does a theme park like going to ride Corolla Coasters?
Speaker 2: Does that? I think? So?
Speaker 1: Count right?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What about going to see a horror movie? Well, that's
Speaker 2: a well for us, but a dopamine kick for us.
Speaker 1: I hate the idea of going to a movie on
Speaker 1: a date because you can't talk, That's true. I love
Speaker 1: going to movies with you now because you can't talk.
Speaker 1: It took a second. Y'all should see her face. Y'all
Speaker 1: should see her face.
Speaker 2: I can still lean over and whisper use that one
Speaker 2: for the social clip. I can lean over and.
Speaker 1: Whisper her face.
Speaker 2: Because when we're watching it on the couch, at least
Speaker 2: you have a rewind button, and I.
Speaker 1: Use it a lot. And I refuse to do subtitles,
Speaker 1: so I can't read what's happening, so I pause. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you will be talking for five minutes and then you
Speaker 1: look up. Oh, you stop the movie.
Speaker 2: But anyway, and I'm always grateful because I missed it
Speaker 2: too because I was talking.
Speaker 3: No, but another dopamine date?
Speaker 2: What would it be? What could we do that would
Speaker 2: be a dopamine date?
Speaker 1: Would it be jumping out of we talk about skydiving.
Speaker 2: Oh, we tried to go pair gliding. Remember that would
Speaker 2: have been a dopamine date.
Speaker 1: And it was too windy.
Speaker 3: The winds were too high.
Speaker 1: We kicked up too much, but they were we're gonna
Speaker 1: blow away, so we didn't do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that would that would have known?
Speaker 1: Anything like that?
Speaker 2: No, but we I want to and you you're into that. Oh,
Speaker 2: we've written on a motorcycle together that could be a
Speaker 2: dopamine date.
Speaker 1: It was my motorcycle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm I'm totally trusting you, like I'm putting
Speaker 2: my life into your hands.
Speaker 1: It's a commuter vehicle. That wasn't a date that we
Speaker 1: just needs to get from one place to one another.
Speaker 2: Well, we do have plans to take the motorcycle out
Speaker 2: to go hiking.
Speaker 3: That would be a dopamine date.
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, you can call it whatever you want to
Speaker 1: call it, my love, all right.
Speaker 2: The next trend that we're seeing in twenty twenty five
Speaker 2: is niche dating. So we've all heard that opposites attract,
Speaker 2: but that's not always the case. Bumbles survey found that
Speaker 2: for forty six percent of singles, sharing interest, especially niche
Speaker 2: interests that others might consider strained or even creepy, is
Speaker 2: what they really want. And I get that because if
Speaker 2: someone else is sharing the weird that you have in you, that's.
Speaker 3: A bond that works, I think.
Speaker 2: And horror movies that would be the best way, because
Speaker 2: people think we're crazy for going to see.
Speaker 1: But this is strange or even creepy.
Speaker 2: Well, some people would say going to horror movies and
Speaker 2: loving horror movies the way we do is strange or creepy.
Speaker 2: People have questioned, maybe even members of my own family
Speaker 2: have questioned my fascination with the abomination that why do
Speaker 2: you want to go watch something that is filled with
Speaker 2: you know, terror and sometimes torture and sometimes gore. Like
Speaker 2: you're like, I have been judged as being strange. For really,
Speaker 2: I don't just like horror movies.
Speaker 3: I love horror movies and we bonded over that.
Speaker 1: You don't have to explain that to me. But when
Speaker 1: we talk about niche dating, you have to find someone
Speaker 1: that's into it, Like what kind of like Pokemon? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's niche dating.
Speaker 2: That's niche dating. That niche dating like comic con, like
Speaker 2: if you like if you like to dress up and
Speaker 2: I like or or that kind of thing, like people
Speaker 2: who both like to do role playing, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if I wanted to go to one of
Speaker 1: these things and say, hey, I want to be mister
Speaker 1: incredible and you'd be a lastic girl.
Speaker 2: Good, uh new, Not for me, that's not my niche dating.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if there's something else, what.
Speaker 1: Else is there a super producers sitting into it? What
Speaker 1: else would there be? Renaissance?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, yep, yep. That's a really good The Stories renaissance. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I do that that kind of thing makes sense
Speaker 2: because if that's your that's what gets you going, that's
Speaker 2: your you need to probably have somebody or it would.
Speaker 1: Be helpful you really.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Otherwise, if I put on a big bear costume and say, hey, sweetheart,
Speaker 1: I'll be back at six, I don't think that's gonna
Speaker 1: work for us, not for long anyway. Everybody, do you thing,
Speaker 1: that's not what we're saying. But if someone is that,
Speaker 1: that's just not necessarily right.
Speaker 2: I think you need to find your your person who
Speaker 2: also enjoys said strange interest. Yes, that makes total sense.
Speaker 1: But the what are we very early on in the
Speaker 1: year now, and there seemed like so much last year
Speaker 1: there was a lot of celebrity. I guess the main
Speaker 1: un let's just do this. We talked about j Lo
Speaker 1: and Ben was the big that.
Speaker 2: Was our big breakup. We were we were really upset.
Speaker 2: We were so so rooting.
Speaker 1: I was holding on until they said the they asked
Speaker 1: the judge to sign off on the divorce.
Speaker 2: Even then, you you believed, you believe that maybe someone
Speaker 2: was going to back.
Speaker 1: Out of it. If I sent the letters to the
Speaker 1: judge asking him to not sign off on the divorce.
Speaker 2: I know we were rooting for them, always rooting for love,
Speaker 2: but sometimes rooting for someone, rooting for a person means
Speaker 2: also saying that sometimes you're better off not together, and
Speaker 2: that is the truth.
Speaker 1: That is true. We all this was one Obviously we
Speaker 1: talked about j Lo and then here that that was
Speaker 1: one story, a love story that's twenty plus years going,
Speaker 1: and we talk about the movies she made about him
Speaker 1: and them and all that. You're just like, wow, love
Speaker 1: is amazing and how life works. And given our experience
Speaker 1: and what we went, like, wow, you could relate to
Speaker 1: how that could possibly be. And then for it not
Speaker 1: to work out. Yeah, I'm still hoping they'll get back
Speaker 1: together a third time.
Speaker 2: Who's to say, I mean, if they if they could
Speaker 2: wait twenty years, and maybe they just need for their
Speaker 2: stars to not be shining so brightly.
Speaker 3: The pressure, the public pressure.
Speaker 2: Of a public romance is real and it's tough, and
Speaker 2: it's not.
Speaker 1: You're feeling it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's getting so much better. I felt it for Oh,
Speaker 2: the first year was really hard.
Speaker 1: Pressure.
Speaker 2: Oh, the public pressure to stay together or the public
Speaker 2: pressure of just.
Speaker 1: Being a couple, just being a couple.
Speaker 2: I don't feel it as much now I did then
Speaker 2: as I did a year ago. And it does add
Speaker 2: to stress levels because you feel like you're being watched,
Speaker 2: you feel like you're being talked about. You feel like, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's pressure associated with that, without a doubt, But in
Speaker 2: that sense, I feel like, maybe even more so than not,
Speaker 2: you root for public couples because you want them to
Speaker 2: make it.
Speaker 3: Because it's hard.
Speaker 2: It's hard already and adding fame and all.
Speaker 3: Of that pressure to it is just tough.
Speaker 2: But we already have some big celebrity breakups. And the
Speaker 2: one that was shocking to me and I think to
Speaker 2: a lot of folks was Jessica Alba and Cash Warren.
Speaker 2: They just announced they are separating after sixteen years of marriage.
Speaker 2: They have three kids together, and they were always on
Speaker 2: the red carpets together with their family. Howebba, If you
Speaker 2: go back just even last year, Jessica might have been
Speaker 2: hinting at it in a couple of her interviews. There
Speaker 2: was one in particular where she was talking about she
Speaker 2: basically said, and again, this is someone who'd been married
Speaker 2: at this point to fifteen, sixteen years after two and
Speaker 2: a half years of marriage.
Speaker 3: It's just like we became roommates.
Speaker 2: That's tough.
Speaker 1: Maybe she said it in jest. Maybe it was just
Speaker 1: he was just being pack.
Speaker 2: She might have been paving the road. She might have
Speaker 2: been preparing the road or preparing her fans for what
Speaker 2: was to come.
Speaker 1: Maybe she had a bad day that day. It was
Speaker 1: a bad marriage day that day. I think we all have.
Speaker 2: Them after two and a half years, and she's sixteen
Speaker 2: years into it.
Speaker 1: You can have it after two months, have a bad
Speaker 1: marriage day.
Speaker 3: She said it was that.
Speaker 2: She described her marriage as you're just going through the motion.
Speaker 2: It's the responsibility. It's a lot of like checking the boxes.
Speaker 1: Okay, that does sound funny, it's not.
Speaker 2: And but the thing is, I think a lot of
Speaker 2: people can relate to that a lot. And it's not
Speaker 2: that you can't work through that. And a lot of
Speaker 2: people would say, hey, the magic can come back. You're
Speaker 2: in the thicke of it with your kids. They have
Speaker 2: three kids. But you know what, I applaud them because
Speaker 2: I would having been in this situation. Sometimes the right
Speaker 2: thing to do is to separate the right thing for
Speaker 2: the kids, even.
Speaker 3: To to show them how.
Speaker 2: And it seems like they're doing it amicably and responsibly,
Speaker 2: and it's not easy and it's not what anybody wants,
Speaker 2: but sometimes it is the best thing for everybody, and
Speaker 2: I think it's important to remember that.
Speaker 1: All right. This next, who is Brendan Ralph.
Speaker 2: Brandon Ralph and Courtney Ford. They're divorcing after seventeen years
Speaker 2: of marriage. And if you don't know, Brandon is a
Speaker 2: Hallmark Channel alum. He rose to fame playing the Man
Speaker 2: of Steel on Superman Returns. And then Courtney is a
Speaker 2: Dexter alum.
Speaker 1: And if folks don't remember, and I hate to put
Speaker 1: this in there, but he was the Superman that didn't
Speaker 1: really work out. This wasn't too terribly long ago. I'm
Speaker 1: not knocking him. He has the look, the looking guy,
Speaker 1: and I thought he did great in the movies. I'm
Speaker 1: a big fan of all these, but he's that guy.
Speaker 1: He only got one run I think as Superman and
Speaker 1: as Man of Steel.
Speaker 2: So you know what, here's the thing about which is
Speaker 2: really tough. They were This is we can talk about this.
Speaker 2: They were forced basically to confirm to the world that
Speaker 2: they were divorcing because someone outed them. An online publication
Speaker 2: announced that this was happening before they were able to,
Speaker 2: and it happened while the Los Angeles wildfires were going on.
Speaker 2: So it's Courtney actually put this out because she needed to.
Speaker 2: We were focused on grabbing our go bags and evacuating,
Speaker 2: and it feels ridiculous to post the statement. It was
Speaker 2: a statement that they were separating with the fires still raging,
Speaker 2: but an online publication announced our news before we could. Damn.
Speaker 3: We know what that's like. And it's unfortunate that.
Speaker 1: One stings a lot. Anybody who was going through a divorce,
Speaker 1: even a breakup, well, let's go with divorce in particular,
Speaker 1: and he got kids involved. It's one of the worst
Speaker 1: things that you will ever experience is going through that divorce.
Speaker 1: Even if it's amicable, sometimes just the pain off. You
Speaker 1: have to look at your kids' faces and say this
Speaker 1: is mommy and daddy aren't going to be together. It's
Speaker 1: just hard. I hate this the idea that they all
Speaker 1: that's going on. So you guys, a divorce going on,
Speaker 1: trying to get your kids okay, and you're on the run,
Speaker 1: and now this publication decides to out the most difficult
Speaker 1: part of your personal life. Man, that sucks.
Speaker 2: It actually makes me physically angry for them on behalf
Speaker 2: of them, because it's just, even if you are a
Speaker 2: public figure and you are a celebrity and you make
Speaker 2: your living doing so, it doesn't mean you don't.
Speaker 3: Have a right to a private life.
Speaker 2: And I think when you're juggling so much for even
Speaker 2: put the fires aside, they're managing their kids, they're managing
Speaker 2: their families, their friends. Telling people you're getting divorced is
Speaker 2: one of the most difficult things to do. And yes,
Speaker 2: it starts with your kids, but it's also your parents,
Speaker 2: your siblings, your shared friends. All of this is incredibly painful.
Speaker 2: And to have someone force your hand and you have
Speaker 2: to say it or at least acknowledge it when you
Speaker 2: weren't ready to. A lot of folks want to get
Speaker 2: their divorce finalized. They want to have all their ducks
Speaker 2: in a row before they.
Speaker 3: Then announced it.
Speaker 2: And I know that's where our heads were in our situations.
Speaker 2: And when someone forces your hand, and it's just it's
Speaker 2: a it's a it's a trauma on top of a
Speaker 2: trauma that's unnecessary.
Speaker 1: My next divorce, I'm going to announce it immediately. I
Speaker 1: am going to be the first. I mean the moment,
Speaker 1: it's going to be out there so quick, so quick.
Speaker 1: Lesson learned. Next couple, deafening silence.
Speaker 2: Deafening silence from me, h, yes, I know you were kidding.
Speaker 2: This was another one Craig Conover and Paige Di Sorbo.
Speaker 2: This was a Bravo Sphere crossover and a lot of
Speaker 2: folks are rooting for them. Craig was from Southern Charm,
Speaker 2: Page was from Summerhouse.
Speaker 3: But they broke up. This isn't a divorce.
Speaker 2: This was just a breakup, and I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: minimize that because it's still significant. But they were dating
Speaker 2: long distance for three years. Page was in New York,
Speaker 2: Craig was in Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 1: Which, as long distance goes, that's some would say that's manageable.
Speaker 2: Yes, because yes, it's a it's a easy quick plane ride.
Speaker 2: It's it's a two hour plane ride.
Speaker 1: And twelve hour I should know the drive. What's the drive?
Speaker 2: I think it's twelve or thirteen hours. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 2: not really drivable. But that's tough when you have to
Speaker 2: pick weekends and and really manage your time like that.
Speaker 1: I drive that far for you every weekend. If I
Speaker 1: needed to you would that would that's very Sweetfy God,
Speaker 1: I don't have to.
Speaker 2: Though, I was like, man, that will never have to
Speaker 2: be proven, never get tested. But you know, speaking of
Speaker 2: long distance, it's funny my mom, they never were in
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship, but my dad traveled, she would say,
Speaker 2: and I think my dad would do fifty percent of
Speaker 2: their marriage before he retired.
Speaker 1: And they've been married how long?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm fifty one, so they have been married for
Speaker 2: fifty two years.
Speaker 1: They figured out the key to marriage.
Speaker 2: So my mom said the key to their marriage was
Speaker 2: being apart fifty percent of the time because that allowed
Speaker 2: them to each kind of have their own time and
Speaker 2: then miss each other and then come back together. So
Speaker 2: some people say that works really really well for.
Speaker 1: That, then we're doomed because we spend every waking moment together.
Speaker 3: We have a no distance relationship.
Speaker 1: No at all at all at all, You're I mean
Speaker 1: even even when your showers go a little long. I'm like,
Speaker 1: where is she?
Speaker 2: I know? I know, I think we spent so much
Speaker 2: time as friends missing each other that now we're just
Speaker 2: so excited to be together that we actually get to
Speaker 2: be together, and we choose to be together. But that
Speaker 2: has come after a lot of time and a lot
Speaker 2: of Yeah, I think longing, so that that does create
Speaker 2: a different I think relationship or dynamic to begin with
Speaker 2: going into it, could.
Speaker 1: You manage this relationship if we only got to spend
Speaker 1: time together once every two weeks.
Speaker 2: I would if I had to, but it wouldn't be
Speaker 2: my chore and it wouldn't be something I would say
Speaker 2: helped our relationship. I think we would deal with it
Speaker 2: and we would manage it. But there could be there
Speaker 2: could be silver linings. I mean, there is that thing.
Speaker 2: I mean when we're apart for a day or two,
Speaker 2: I really miss you. It's happened silver lining It's only
Speaker 2: happened like three times in the last in the last
Speaker 2: in the last two and a half years, I think
Speaker 2: we've only been a part a couple of days, Like seriously,
Speaker 2: that's it.
Speaker 3: Maybe two or three days here or there, and.
Speaker 2: It's it is nice to know that I miss you
Speaker 2: like crazy.
Speaker 1: But could you do that for twenty years? It's the
Speaker 1: thing we talked about shery Lee Ralph here, who is
Speaker 1: someone we absolutely adore. She just exudes just grace and
Speaker 1: we love her. We absolutely love her.
Speaker 3: From an elementary and yes, she had a.
Speaker 1: Long career stage career, but she has said she has
Speaker 1: been married and going back, and I think going back
Speaker 1: and forth, but living in a long distance marriage for
Speaker 1: t years. Look at this.
Speaker 2: He's where Pennsylvania and she is she's in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: That's tough.
Speaker 1: That's tough.
Speaker 3: I think that's really hard.
Speaker 2: I think it depends on your relationship, and there is
Speaker 2: value in all sorts of different types of relationships. We
Speaker 2: just happen to be best friends, and I think that's
Speaker 2: a little bit of a different relationship you can have
Speaker 2: and a lot of these. It also depends on your
Speaker 2: individual personality. I know you do like alone time. I
Speaker 2: don't know when you get it. I don't love alone time,
Speaker 2: so I'm really happy in this relationship.
Speaker 3: Here's the deal. I do like alone time when I'm
Speaker 3: with people who I don't want to be around.
Speaker 2: So the point being is you are somebody who I
Speaker 2: want to be around, So I don't ever need to
Speaker 2: or want to be alone here or there.
Speaker 3: I can be though, you.
Speaker 1: Can be alone. I'm just only I just appreciate it
Speaker 1: because I have for the past thirty years, I had
Speaker 1: so little of it, just been working in the business.
Speaker 1: You're just constantly eaving us like a work trip. I'm
Speaker 1: surrounded by people, and I just whenever I get a
Speaker 1: chance to eat a meal alone, to just sit on
Speaker 1: the couch and it's just me. I do appreciate it.
Speaker 2: I think that's great, and I think that you have
Speaker 2: to have a lot of trust and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: So Cheryl Lee Ralph is on Judith Light from Who's
Speaker 2: the Boss. Do you remember her? I grew up watching her.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize this. She's been in a long distance
Speaker 2: marriage with her husband of thirty nine years. Judith resides
Speaker 2: in New York, her husband is in Los Angeles. That's tough.
Speaker 3: It's very tough.
Speaker 2: She says.
Speaker 3: They talk every day.
Speaker 2: I would hope so thirty years they FaceTime every day.
Speaker 2: But her quote is he loves to be alone and
Speaker 2: I love to be alone. We both love our alone time.
Speaker 3: We have that. It's also very creative for us.
Speaker 2: So, I mean, I guess that makes sense if you
Speaker 2: know who you are, and again, there's a huge level
Speaker 2: of trust and respect and it works, and perhaps if
Speaker 2: they live together it wouldn't.
Speaker 1: That's the key. There are things that work for this
Speaker 1: couple that might not work for this one. There is
Speaker 1: no one sign it hits all to meet to hear
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship for that long, I can imagine either,
Speaker 1: and I would never want to sign up for that.
Speaker 1: But for them and to hear it works, it's kind
Speaker 1: of cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then this was a little I don't really
Speaker 2: know how to interpret this next relationship. That's a long
Speaker 2: distance relationship, but maybe it isn't anymore. China Phillips and
Speaker 2: Billy Baldwin, they recently met headlines when they explained it
Speaker 2: like this. They said they were living separately because of
Speaker 2: an allergy.
Speaker 3: To one another.
Speaker 1: Allergic to your spouse.
Speaker 2: That's a big.
Speaker 3: Problem because I don't think Clariton's going to fix that.
Speaker 1: I think they were being funny. I think I'm allergic
Speaker 1: to this dude. I don't want to be around them.
Speaker 1: They have an allergy to the person. And she might
Speaker 1: have been that might have been a sweet, acute way
Speaker 1: of saying, you know, we're having problems right now.
Speaker 2: So after I guess there was a lot of backlash
Speaker 2: for saying that. And by the way, they've been together,
Speaker 2: they've been husband and wife for nearly thirty years. So
Speaker 2: she said they had an allergy to one another, and
Speaker 2: we're living in separate homes. But then she says, wait
Speaker 2: a minute, I'm retracting that comment, and I am now
Speaker 2: saying that it's probably a very foolish, very unwise, very destructive,
Speaker 2: stupid decision, because that's not going to solve our problem
Speaker 2: with the allergy. With the allergy, so meaning they have
Speaker 2: some problems they need to work out, and perhaps living
Speaker 2: in separate homes is not the way to solve those problems.
Speaker 3: So now she is saying that they do live together.
Speaker 1: Okay, thirty years, they're doing something right.
Speaker 2: And I also feel like, you know what, she doesn't
Speaker 2: have to explain herself. I have to remind myself, you
Speaker 2: don't have to explain yourself and your choices with your
Speaker 2: partner or your husband or wife to anyone else if
Speaker 2: it's working for you.
Speaker 1: Well you say that, I know, I.
Speaker 2: Mean you have to explain it to one another.
Speaker 1: No, No, I was making a joke about us having to.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, we kind of did.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, I think we were trying to not have to
Speaker 2: and that didn't work and it blew up in our faces.
Speaker 2: So then we actually had to go ahead and explain. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I hear you yeah, all.
Speaker 1: Right, well, OK, twenty twenty five already not farg in,
Speaker 1: but it's given us a lot, including some dating trims.
Speaker 1: We've got some breakup news. Hopefully we don't get too
Speaker 1: much of that. And again, I'm fascinated by the people
Speaker 1: who are together for decades but are still living apart.
Speaker 1: We do part far apart in those cases, but we do.
Speaker 1: We're here for you. We will continue to be a
Speaker 1: part of I Do Part two and try to help
Speaker 1: you along in your life. And again we want to
Speaker 1: remind you we are here to help along with our
Speaker 1: team of experts and mentors.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the only trend we really want to see
Speaker 2: happen in twenty twenty five is that you are attracting
Speaker 2: the love that you want into your life. And so
Speaker 2: that's why we're here to help, or at least we
Speaker 2: hope we can help. Call us, email us, follow us
Speaker 2: on social media. All of the information will be in
Speaker 2: the show notes about what we've discussed, and please make
Speaker 2: sure you rate and review the podcast I Do Part two.
Speaker 3: An iHeartRadio podcas cast.
Speaker 2: We're falling in love and hopefully staying in love is
Speaker 2: the main objective.
Speaker 1: But if not, just come back to the podcast, we'll
Speaker 1: help you find your next love to. Well, for now,
Speaker 1: I'm t.
Speaker 2: J Holmes and I made me Robock. How A wonderful
Speaker 2: day everyone,