Speaker 1: Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 2: Fairbanks, this is Karen Kilgareff.
Speaker 1: We're driving Oho. Oh no, no we aren't.
Speaker 2: Guess what you guys.
Speaker 1: My car's in the shop. Actually will be in the
Speaker 1: shop right after this. Why I was this is kind
Speaker 1: of funny. I was at an audition for a commercial
Speaker 1: about car insurance. Yeah, I was late. I ran in there.
Speaker 1: I did it really quickly. They had me like skateboard
Speaker 1: and be a dad. It took seven minutes. I came
Speaker 1: out someone had sideswiped my entire car. No, and then
Speaker 1: I called my car insurance and I even told her
Speaker 1: what the audition woe. We had a great talk, but
Speaker 1: I have to go get it evaluated.
Speaker 2: And then at the end of that talk she said, sorry,
Speaker 2: we don't cover you for that. Yeah, you're gonna go
Speaker 2: ahead and pay that eight hundred dollars yourself.
Speaker 1: I think maybe I am covered. Well, I have to
Speaker 1: pay it sure, five hundred.
Speaker 2: Bucks or something, right as opposed to three thousand. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a deal.
Speaker 1: But that's the you know, that could have happened while
Speaker 1: we were moving. If that had happened, what if we're
Speaker 1: on the freeway and we got sideswiped and and Fred
Speaker 1: Armiston was ejected into a ditch. It's Armistan Armistan. I
Speaker 1: always add a sten.
Speaker 2: Why I don't know, because of Amistad.
Speaker 1: It's just fun, like with you know, guy Brandam Bronham, Bronham, Brenham.
Speaker 1: It's fun to just mess with people's names.
Speaker 2: And he's my good friend, and I say his name wrong.
Speaker 1: I know that's that was passive aggressive. I brought up
Speaker 1: a name that you have trouble with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do you know you're doing that or does
Speaker 2: it just come out now?
Speaker 1: It just naturally comes out. Here's a spot where I'm
Speaker 1: real good at finding those spots where maybe I could
Speaker 1: hurt you, just with subtle comments, yep.
Speaker 2: And innocently spoken. That's how I do it. Where it's
Speaker 2: like only afterwards do I go whoops. I should have
Speaker 2: not said that.
Speaker 1: It's just a second nature, first nature. It's one of
Speaker 1: my natures, one of the initial natures. Much like you
Speaker 1: know Terminator, he sees a monitor and there's like digital readout.
Speaker 1: I just see where your vulnerable and how can I
Speaker 1: attack them?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have like a heat register, but it's for
Speaker 2: my weakness and past mistakes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your guy brandam. The area was glowing.
Speaker 2: Orange, and so you're took an AK forty seven to
Speaker 2: it emotionally. Guys, the point of all of this is
Speaker 2: we are not in a car. This is our first
Speaker 2: studio episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you don't have to add all this meaning
Speaker 1: to it. We're just trying it out.
Speaker 2: Yes, stop crying or laughing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and don't feverishly write us angry. No, that won't happen.
Speaker 2: No, it never does.
Speaker 1: No one's upset. In my mind, I feel like people
Speaker 1: are going to be upset. What happened to the mission statement? Right?
Speaker 1: Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: It happened. It's what happens to all mission statements. They
Speaker 2: slowly get forgotten over time and replaced with what actually
Speaker 2: works feasibly in reality.
Speaker 1: Hey, I didn't want to talk politics, but let's do it.
Speaker 2: Trump should win, well win.
Speaker 1: Right for it? You know my vulnerable spot.
Speaker 2: A man in a weird wig with a hot wife
Speaker 2: and big ideas for walls, and.
Speaker 1: I don't like giving him any attention, even there's so
Speaker 1: many funny things you can say about him and make
Speaker 1: the butt. I was. I had access to a baby,
Speaker 1: my friend's baby this weekend, and you had access Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: my friend, a woman was holding him in his hair.
Speaker 1: It was just a perfect opportunity to take her hair
Speaker 1: and just trump whisp wisps whisp it over his little face.
Speaker 1: And right then he made kind of an angry with
Speaker 1: his pierced lips, and I made a great trump baby photo. Man,
Speaker 1: you got you got all that.
Speaker 2: You captured that moment and just go.
Speaker 1: To my Instagram and and be heartwarmed while laughing.
Speaker 2: Drink it and oh I saw your You tweeted those
Speaker 2: Warriors shirts you designed I made. Yeah, I want one, okay, please.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have some scent to me. And also they're
Speaker 1: on onecolor dot com a color spelled with a K.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the color's white.
Speaker 1: One coolar oh, German, it's not. It doesn't. Many shirts
Speaker 1: are available in many different colors on that side. It's
Speaker 1: just called one color okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's not a race based.
Speaker 1: No no, no, it's one color forward slash Superior race
Speaker 1: and we make t shirts there. I realize now I
Speaker 1: named it after doing really well on my bicycle once.
Speaker 1: But it's superior race sounds I really sounds bad. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make it doesn't sound good. But if you're a
Speaker 1: fan of the Warriors, the basketball team or the Warriors
Speaker 1: the you know, the cult basketball team or the cult movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a cult people with that team. I don't
Speaker 1: follow basketball myself.
Speaker 2: I don't follow basketball, but people retweet these awesome gifts
Speaker 2: of those there's a couple shots. I don't know the
Speaker 2: names of the young athletes that made them. I know
Speaker 2: that the one I saw that was insanely impressive. Maybe
Speaker 2: knows the name of the guy it was.
Speaker 1: Because you're dude.
Speaker 2: You're a dude that likes sports, right.
Speaker 1: Aron, Yeah, you like Duncanon duncan on nerds. I'm a
Speaker 1: baseball guy.
Speaker 2: You fucking nerds knew that about him.
Speaker 1: I like baseball.
Speaker 2: I like baseball.
Speaker 1: Just smell a cracker Jacks.
Speaker 2: This move Stephen Curry assisted pass to this other guy
Speaker 2: and he did this thing. Did you see it? No,
Speaker 2: he shot, he went to shoot, faked it, and then
Speaker 2: like flipped it underhanded as he fell away and in
Speaker 2: the and he made the basket. I can't explain it accurately.
Speaker 2: It's such an impressive feat that you have to look.
Speaker 1: At it now. When he flung it away, didn't he
Speaker 1: know he was shooting? He was aiming kind of towards
Speaker 1: a basket completely. He was just like, I know how
Speaker 1: to do a side, a nonchalant sideways granny shot.
Speaker 2: Look at this, yes, because it was like the person
Speaker 2: he went to do, the one he wanted to do,
Speaker 2: somebody was there blocking him, so he just changed his
Speaker 2: shot mid air.
Speaker 1: It was a rad you just resorted to plan, be
Speaker 1: like a robot.
Speaker 2: Like a goddamn sorority girl. The morning after, I feel
Speaker 2: like these jokes are funnier out of the car.
Speaker 1: They really are. And you can hear the Chrispins. You
Speaker 1: can hear the crispness of me not being able to talk.
Speaker 1: You can hear the Christmas of me just really opening
Speaker 1: up a bad word present. You can really you can
Speaker 1: almost hear me not thinking it's a slow lull. You
Speaker 1: can just hear my synapses of my brain just being
Speaker 1: coated in some sort of sugar that shouldn't be in there.
Speaker 2: That's right. Yeah, you don't eat sugar, No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't need a lot of sugar. You gotta watch that.
Speaker 2: I just quit sugar, really, yes, sixteen days ago. Wow,
Speaker 2: quit sugar, quit flower. I'm back on the program.
Speaker 1: How do you feel?
Speaker 2: I feel fucking great.
Speaker 1: Isn't that weird? You do things and you know you're
Speaker 1: gonna feel great because you've done them before and it
Speaker 1: felt great then, but it's so hard to get them started. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't mind advice. Smoke, do you come on?
Speaker 2: I was in the mode of watching myself eat so
Speaker 2: much sugar and being like, you're going to get your
Speaker 2: legs amputated and doing it anyway, which is the worst
Speaker 2: feeling that as I like to say, cognitive dissonance. So
Speaker 2: I was like, I have to stop doing this is
Speaker 2: totally awful.
Speaker 1: And it's the hardest part about doing that is being
Speaker 1: with other people and then you have to talk about it.
Speaker 1: I hate explaining why I'm not having sugar gluten like that,
Speaker 1: especially gluten. People are like, oh is it? Are you?
Speaker 1: What is it? The stomach thing? Usually stomach thing, but
Speaker 1: for me it helped with body pain and my ankles
Speaker 1: were hurting and they were swollen, and then I quit
Speaker 1: eating it and it went away. I'm not some you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not preaching, but it worked for me.
Speaker 2: So why are you holding that Bible? Then?
Speaker 1: Well, because way when God made the Brethren, I didn't
Speaker 1: even go to church enough to be able to joke
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: I think, uh, inflammation is the new cancer, and people
Speaker 2: are getting wise to the fact that your body inflammation
Speaker 2: is so bad for your body. They never knew it before. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so any step you take to make that not happen.
Speaker 2: Who gives a fuck would people say about it?
Speaker 1: And it's even linked to cancer and link to things
Speaker 1: like Alzheimer's, Like, say it together, everyone.
Speaker 2: Let's be empowered and say to the thing.
Speaker 1: You and I don't. You don't have, but you have been.
Speaker 1: I've done a few shows with you lately, and you
Speaker 1: talk about how you killed it at your mom's funeral,
Speaker 1: how I did pretty well at my buddy's axe funeral.
Speaker 1: Combination of laughs and then maybe was this like for
Speaker 1: you as it was for me, where I would say
Speaker 1: some things and then it was it would hit me
Speaker 1: and I my voice would quite working because I was
Speaker 1: about to cry, I think, And that's when everyone had
Speaker 1: tense up, and that's where I'd hit him with a joke.
Speaker 2: Exactly well, I think I was. When I got the
Speaker 2: email from my aunt Mary the nun, who said, Karen,
Speaker 2: we think you should write the eulogy or progive the eulogy.
Speaker 2: I almost wrote back. Hell No, it was just like,
Speaker 2: how come I have to do she was my mom?
Speaker 2: But then I.
Speaker 1: Realized that being a reason you shouldn't have to do
Speaker 1: it exactly, she was my mom. Why do I have
Speaker 1: to do that?
Speaker 2: I'm the most hurt. Was kind of like my selfish thinking.
Speaker 2: Then I was like, I think, deep down, I've kind
Speaker 2: of been writing this eulogy for a while because she's
Speaker 2: been going for a while, right, uh, And so I
Speaker 2: just tried to think of like all the times I've
Speaker 2: seen other people speak, and like what you actually want
Speaker 2: to hear, because it's not about like listening off people's
Speaker 2: life whatever it's talking. I felt I took it like,
Speaker 2: say the thing that she would want to say if
Speaker 2: she was standing up here and it was her last
Speaker 2: chance to talk. And so she was my mom's fucking
Speaker 2: hilarious and really straightforward and really like kind of in
Speaker 2: your face. And so I think the combination of and
Speaker 2: I'm naturally like her anyway, so it's kind of speaking
Speaker 2: like her. And then but it's in a church. I mean,
Speaker 2: it was this huge church we grew up in. The
Speaker 2: priest was right next to me. My sister told me
Speaker 2: the priest was like bent over laughing the entire time.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's when you're killing with a priest.
Speaker 2: That's the ultimate kill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels great.
Speaker 2: That's that's fifty points a big buck hunter.
Speaker 1: Did you say? Here's here's here's what my mom would
Speaker 1: say right now? Yeah? Did you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And the what I did. And I told my cousin
Speaker 2: Stevie before I went up there, because of course you
Speaker 2: think like, you know, I know what's going to happen.
Speaker 2: I know, we're glad this is happening, this is a
Speaker 2: celebration or whatever. But then when you're actually there and
Speaker 2: it's the day of your just ruined, of course. And
Speaker 2: so so was all my family, like the people in
Speaker 2: the first two rows, all our close family and friends.
Speaker 2: Everyone just kind of was like, we can't believe we're
Speaker 2: here and it's so sad, and everyone was just like whatever.
Speaker 2: So I started off by saying like, I'm gonna cry
Speaker 2: because that's what we're here to do. And we had
Speaker 2: a meeting with the priest beforehand, who told me crying
Speaker 2: is just a form of expression of love for a
Speaker 2: person that isn't there anymore. It's not a bad thing.
Speaker 2: It's actually a great thing you have that well, of
Speaker 2: feeling because it's a person you love that much. And
Speaker 2: so at the beginning of the eulogy, I said, Father
Speaker 2: Gary told me that I quoted him, and I said,
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna cry this whole time, and there's nothing
Speaker 2: you can do about it, because the priest said I
Speaker 2: could like all Brady and baby it. And then I
Speaker 2: think everyone else felt okay to like let loose and
Speaker 2: kind of emote a little bit. And then so then
Speaker 2: I just talked about the good things. But then at
Speaker 2: the end, I was like, if my mom was here,
Speaker 2: I know the one thing that she would want me
Speaker 2: to tell you all was that she hated Ronald Reagan.
Speaker 2: And then the entire church like exploded because my mother
Speaker 2: hated Ronald Reagan so much, talked about it every night
Speaker 2: at dinner, was like so anti him, and I told
Speaker 2: my cousin Stevie before, I was like, I'm gonna make
Speaker 2: a political joke three quarters away through this thing. If
Speaker 2: you don't laugh, even if you don't think it's funny,
Speaker 2: you have to laugh out loud because you save me
Speaker 2: because people might not laugh at this. But of course
Speaker 2: everyone loved it because they knew my mom and she
Speaker 2: told everybody that she hated the wrong wayon not just us.
Speaker 1: That's funny. Chance that in common with my mom.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: My mom really disliked them and talked about him a lot.
Speaker 2: Wait, your mom was a nurse too.
Speaker 1: Right, She's no, she was a sewer billing. I think
Speaker 1: when you use the toilet, uh, this has to be
Speaker 1: hooked up to utilities and they need to monitor you're
Speaker 1: the amount of water you're using. There was one lady
Speaker 1: we called the witch Lady. She was real smart to
Speaker 1: where she defecated into a bucket I don't know, and
Speaker 1: then put it in her fireplace and burned it. And
Speaker 1: she holds the only one that had a loophole around
Speaker 1: my mom sending her bills, and she'd come on her
Speaker 1: bike dressed in all black and yeah, rumors that if
Speaker 1: you made it into her yard, which was her whole
Speaker 1: house was covered with spray paint like graffiti that she
Speaker 1: did to her own house.
Speaker 2: Okay, so she was scary a little bit.
Speaker 1: There were stories about, yeah, someone opening the gate and
Speaker 1: get their hand getting hit with a hammer. That was
Speaker 1: the everyone had that story. Would everyone tell that story
Speaker 1: if someone's hand hadn't been hit anyway, my mom sent
Speaker 1: people their sewer bills. She worked at sears for a while.
Speaker 2: For some reason. I guess it's just me being a
Speaker 2: narcissistic and thinking that your life is my life. I
Speaker 2: was positive she was a nurse of somebody.
Speaker 1: It's really well, they're similar. She was interested, she was
Speaker 1: on web md a lot. Now the internet happened after,
Speaker 1: but that she had this job for twenty five years,
Speaker 1: shut up one day, didn't know how to do it,
Speaker 1: absolutely couldn't do it, and they said we might have
Speaker 1: to let you go, and she got pissed and quit.
Speaker 1: Sure that's what you get after you work for a
Speaker 1: government agency for a long time. It's real good to
Speaker 1: get angry and quit or fit penny monies that might
Speaker 1: help with the expenses. But yeah, I'm jealous. People freak
Speaker 1: out when we say this, But I'm jealous or I'm
Speaker 1: excited to kill it at my mom's funeral too. But
Speaker 1: my sister went there on Mother's Day and sent me
Speaker 1: pictures and she looks physically, it looks like she's been
Speaker 1: running and going to a spa. Her skin. She looks great.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, is she? I really thought that sentence was
Speaker 2: going to end.
Speaker 1: No, I don't. They're like, I don't know, if they
Speaker 1: just have her on a very healthy diet. She looks great,
Speaker 1: but can't you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Isn't there?
Speaker 1: Yeah it at all.
Speaker 2: Well, that's nice that my mom really looked like a
Speaker 2: mummy at the end. I mean it was. It was
Speaker 2: super weird. One of her front teeth.
Speaker 1: My mom's teeth. Yeah, it's kind of like a when
Speaker 1: boxers have that mouthpiece, if they went for a light
Speaker 1: marbled yellow. Okay, this is that's discussed. Why do I
Speaker 1: he's getting medical.
Speaker 2: It's your passion, it really is.
Speaker 1: I love the word fulangies. Sternum you think I'll call
Speaker 1: a sternum. I know it's a zyophoid process. And to
Speaker 1: think that I got f's in all biology classes. It's
Speaker 1: very important if you want a future in medicine.
Speaker 2: Did you try for a future and money?
Speaker 1: No? No, I didn't. After the fact, I thought maybe
Speaker 1: it could have, but I think I like art and
Speaker 1: stuff too much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it would have been here.
Speaker 1: I like going to a doctor and telling them what
Speaker 1: I think I might have though they love that too. Yeah. Sure,
Speaker 1: I've been Yeah, like I have the nerve thing. It
Speaker 1: seems like it's migrating Okay and pull out the book.
Speaker 1: This is my dad's story. But let's see migrating nerve thing. Nope,
Speaker 1: it's not showing up so that to my dad mocked him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's migrating to my brain. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Every winter.
Speaker 2: I have a friend that did that where she has
Speaker 2: she does have something and she looked up something on
Speaker 2: the internet and then when I called her, she was
Speaker 2: freaking out. I'm like, you absolutely cannot look at the
Speaker 2: internet when you are about to do something medical or
Speaker 2: be involved in any medical issue. The only people No
Speaker 2: one goes back after a surgery and goes, that was great,
Speaker 2: everything worked out fine. No one does it. They they
Speaker 2: pick up where their life was before and they go
Speaker 2: The people online are the ones who something happened to
Speaker 2: or and or but probably mostly are crazy. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: so they're like they left a whole, you know, a
Speaker 2: peach inside of me or what you know, shit like that.
Speaker 2: We were just like, could that happen to me? And
Speaker 2: it's like, this could be an eleven year old boy
Speaker 2: who someone stopped watching for half an hour, who's on
Speaker 2: web MD.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just laughed for a minute about a doctor
Speaker 1: eating a peach, dropping it and saying fuck it.
Speaker 2: So my guys, I got a golf game it too. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's sew this lady up.
Speaker 1: Really. Oh no, wonder these other doctors are dressed in plaid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these are just my boys.
Speaker 2: They're just waiting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're about to hit the links.
Speaker 2: Look, this is all organic. It'll break down. Leave it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. People and only report bad news or comment on
Speaker 1: a YouTube video bad. No one says good job. This
Speaker 1: was perfect. Yep. I just want you to know I
Speaker 1: liked it and wouldn't say do anything differently. No one's
Speaker 1: ever left.
Speaker 2: Every moment of that was as it should have been.
Speaker 1: And it goes without saying so I am, of course
Speaker 1: saying it. On the way here. Ways took me through.
Speaker 1: I think about there's I've been watching, and of course
Speaker 1: you do too, murder things and forensic files. And I
Speaker 1: think I went by the grim what's the thing. I
Speaker 1: think I went through that neighborhood. I feel like I
Speaker 1: went past Lonnie's house. It was like a I think
Speaker 1: that's the house that used to be green.
Speaker 2: You don't know because that documentary, Yeah, yeah, I saw
Speaker 2: it twice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, made people watch it. Yes, But I think I
Speaker 1: went by his house. I'll talk to you after you
Speaker 1: can tell me exactly where it was. Okay, but we've
Speaker 1: drove through there once and you.
Speaker 2: Can tell you about that well. And because I like
Speaker 2: that part that part of town, I really love it
Speaker 2: because it's like, yeah, it's not the nice obviously the
Speaker 2: nicest part of la A few places are, but all
Speaker 2: of those like everything is tended so nicely. Everyone has
Speaker 2: their yard really nice. Yeah, they're like, we are going
Speaker 2: to make our own good community, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: That's I love that part of it where it's like
Speaker 2: you drive through, you don't go, oh, a serial killer
Speaker 2: lives here. It doesn't look like that to me.
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't at all. That's what makes it all
Speaker 1: the more eerie.
Speaker 2: Yes, it just looks like the suburbs. You could be anywhere.
Speaker 2: You could be in like Millbray, you could be like
Speaker 2: all the towns around my town.
Speaker 1: Why don't people talk about that documentary as much as
Speaker 1: that JINX one? I thought it was better. It was
Speaker 1: much more tragic and interviewing all those women that were like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want this life, these nice ladies that were prostituted,
Speaker 1: that almost got killed by them.
Speaker 2: You're supposed to say sex worker? Sex workers it's a
Speaker 2: new thing. It's we haven't grown up. We're in a
Speaker 2: thing where you know, you're supposed to say sex worker,
Speaker 2: but I'm saying it because I've been.
Speaker 1: To get used to this Eskimo stuff in you it
Speaker 1: sounds dirty.
Speaker 2: You look more learning baby steps, one thing at a
Speaker 2: time is just important to be willing.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's all. I guess things are changing.
Speaker 2: But here's why I think it's different. Because the Jinx
Speaker 2: was a series and the Nick Broomfield documentary was a
Speaker 2: one off, so if you didn't see at the time
Speaker 2: it was on or hear about it that one time,
Speaker 2: as opposed to the long, slow build of like word
Speaker 2: of mouth. But I think a lot of the people
Speaker 2: who have seen it, everybody talks about how amazing it was.
Speaker 2: That woman Pam that was in it, that guides him around.
Speaker 1: She was the best.
Speaker 2: I love her so much.
Speaker 1: Talk about no nonsense.
Speaker 2: She was fucking but she's real.
Speaker 1: She said a lot of nonsense, she was hilarious, she
Speaker 1: was the best, was the best.
Speaker 2: But it's also that thing of like it's the I
Speaker 2: remember when I first heard about the Grim Sleeper and
Speaker 2: the way they report on it is, you know, he
Speaker 2: killed mostly sex workers. They say prostitu isn't it in
Speaker 2: that newspaper.
Speaker 1: Or nl h's not legitimate humans? No, that is a
Speaker 1: phrase they when I first moved here, the police. Yes,
Speaker 1: when I first moved here, I was driving with Michelle
Speaker 1: Balloon and Henry Phillips and we were going down Santa
Speaker 1: Monica Boulevard and for the first time I saw this
Speaker 1: big man punching this tiny woman in the face. Oh right, right,
Speaker 1: And then he went to show me his gun, but
Speaker 1: it was funny. He looked down and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't have my gun, so he just showed me
Speaker 1: his belly button and I pretended to be on my
Speaker 1: flip phone. It was a while ago. And followed them
Speaker 1: into this building and the security guard held the door shut,
Speaker 1: wouldn't let me in. I'm like, that guy was just
Speaker 1: punching that woman in the face, and he was like,
Speaker 1: get out of here. And it was a whole building
Speaker 1: that is now fancy apartments. But so I called the
Speaker 1: cop and he came and he said, I'm tired of
Speaker 1: getting these calls. That was a prostitute, that was a primp.
Speaker 1: She owed him on She's not a legitimate human. And
Speaker 1: I was like, what did you say, not a legitimate human?
Speaker 1: I think it's a phrase if anyone, well, no one's
Speaker 1: gonna tell us whether or not. But they use that
Speaker 1: phrase in the in that documentary. I think n LH
Speaker 1: or not legitimate human is what they call a So
Speaker 1: don't get mad at me when I call them prostitutes.
Speaker 2: I'll do it.
Speaker 1: I want are called not legitimate human?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, this is what we're talking about. It's
Speaker 2: like you sit there and go, how could a man
Speaker 2: kill women for almost thirty years and get away with it?
Speaker 2: This is how because our society has the fucking balls
Speaker 2: to go, this is not a legitimate human being? How
Speaker 2: dare you? How fucking dare you? And these are people
Speaker 2: that are just trying to stay alive, keep their family alive,
Speaker 2: make money however they can, And suddenly that's the reason
Speaker 2: that you get to murder them for free. I don't
Speaker 2: think so. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Free are you?
Speaker 2: Were free and easy, wasn't it?
Speaker 1: Like at some point in the eighties they went to
Speaker 1: his house and accidentally knocked on the neighbor's door. They're like, well,
Speaker 1: he's not home. Case closed. They almost they almost got
Speaker 1: anyway that I think about that documentary a lot, and
Speaker 1: then I drove right through it. I also have been
Speaker 1: thinking about as April made you see the Sing Street?
Speaker 2: Yes you did?
Speaker 1: Did you? I mean? I loved it and thought the
Speaker 1: ending kind of yes, bailed a little. It's like, really
Speaker 1: they're but.
Speaker 2: The endings are the hardest, as we know.
Speaker 1: But these kids getting together writing songs and grown up
Speaker 1: with eighties new wave music. Man, see that I'm plugging
Speaker 1: something that isn't mine, and it's the movie Sing Street.
Speaker 1: Go see it so good? See good.
Speaker 2: Of course I was too and irish, which is of
Speaker 2: course my favorite. Yeah, the funniest and do you know
Speaker 2: I actually tweeted this once, but I tweeted high boyfriend
Speaker 2: because that little kid that was basically the manager that
Speaker 2: filmed all the videos and stuff.
Speaker 1: The redhead, Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: It had that little face in the races where he
Speaker 2: is my favorite because he was always trying to pull
Speaker 2: his lips off his braces, like when you have really
Speaker 2: big bracesm maybe a smaller mouth, like when they'd be walking,
Speaker 2: he would just like be moving his lips around. So
Speaker 2: this is you know what I mean? Did you notice
Speaker 2: that it was my favorite?
Speaker 1: Like I had races, I knew what that was like,
Speaker 1: did you have to do that? They didn't experimental braces
Speaker 1: on me that were made of white porcelain, probably not
Speaker 1: real porcelain, more likely just white plastic. And the first
Speaker 1: thing I think I ate with them is a liptin
Speaker 1: cup of soup, which then stained them highlighter yellow for
Speaker 1: the two years I had just yellow middle of high school,
Speaker 1: just realizing how much I like girls and why not
Speaker 1: just kind of looked like the thing my mom's thing.
Speaker 1: It just looked like I put in a boxer's guard
Speaker 1: made of marbled yellow candies.
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: And what did the.
Speaker 2: Little onions stay out? There was a green onion flex
Speaker 2: as well for your lifting. Did you keep the whole look?
Speaker 1: I just smile and it just looked like delicious French
Speaker 1: onion dip. Just made you want to jam a lace
Speaker 1: right in my teeth. Great perfect timing too.
Speaker 2: Have you ever talked about that on stage?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Please pull your notebook out wherever you keep it and
Speaker 2: just put down braces, lipped and soup please.
Speaker 1: And I talk like this I sometimes do when I
Speaker 1: get excited. Right, you can't hear it, but a tongue
Speaker 1: thrust into my back of my teeth They then added
Speaker 1: to curb that a cage. Oh, right on the side
Speaker 1: of buildings, you know, all those little spikes and birds
Speaker 1: still fucking land on it. Yeah, well Mike still was
Speaker 1: thrusting my tongue into a sharp cage. It was in
Speaker 1: the roof of my mouth. That was just a.
Speaker 2: Brief period, like they thought they were going to cure
Speaker 2: your lateral lisp by putting spikes inside your brazens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what the fuck? And then they had me sucking
Speaker 1: on a button on a string. Very dangerous if a
Speaker 1: string trying it? This was there the theory if I
Speaker 1: I make my lips strong, I think it was. Also
Speaker 1: they're just like, you need to learn mouth control, So
Speaker 1: pay attention to a thing that we're going to make
Speaker 1: you do. Okay, so while you're watching TV or whatever,
Speaker 1: just take a button with some string, have your mom
Speaker 1: put some string on it, put it behind your lips
Speaker 1: and pull on it, and then tighten your lips. So
Speaker 1: one day your lips are so tight they will push
Speaker 1: your teeth back. So what if I had these sissy,
Speaker 1: spacic lips, just tight ass lips.
Speaker 2: You look like Tad Glass do a character.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when he talks about how it's dad would
Speaker 1: smoke and it looked painful.
Speaker 2: How is that going to help anything that's going on
Speaker 2: inside your belty?
Speaker 1: The fact that they wanted my lips to be a
Speaker 1: way tighten you let you need to get your lips
Speaker 1: strong to push these teeth back. Okay, I'm going back
Speaker 1: in the street by umpstairs because I am not orthodontist.
Speaker 1: But I listened to him, Oh sayer.
Speaker 2: Doctor Sarah wanted you to suck on a button attached
Speaker 2: to a string.
Speaker 1: But and and learn how to say my asses. And
Speaker 1: you know what, it worked? And guess what today, I'm
Speaker 1: a professional speaker.
Speaker 2: You you are a sound recording artist, yeah.
Speaker 1: With you know credentials? Yes, yea? And sometimes did you
Speaker 1: bring those credentials today?
Speaker 2: Could I see you?
Speaker 1: I wish I had paper like Phil Hendry. Here we go,
Speaker 1: here's the paper, got it clearly? Headphones? Damn it, damn it? Oh,
Speaker 1: here we go.
Speaker 2: There it is your past papers.
Speaker 1: Let's oh, I'll have to stop here. Here's a low
Speaker 1: flying helicopter. Oh they landed? Whoa not near the doges.
Speaker 1: That was my plan to just I was gonna do
Speaker 1: fully work of card noises. Maybe we can add it later.
Speaker 1: Hong Kong wha, What was that guy? That was a reaction?
Speaker 2: Hey, U asshole the stuff we used to do when
Speaker 2: we were actually driving.
Speaker 1: See, I'm very excited about I think that we're already
Speaker 1: just popping. I mean, hell yeah, I'm not feeling great
Speaker 1: right now. Let's be I'm I'm on a lot of
Speaker 1: day quill, so I'm my brain is not totally braking,
Speaker 1: and that's been clear. I think you guys have been
Speaker 1: like where.
Speaker 2: I feel like you've been.
Speaker 1: Where's Chris? Well? Thank you? That's you might call it
Speaker 1: fishing because that's what I was doing, but I uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't even remember what I was that you like
Speaker 1: this studio feel Yeah, yeah, I think we're going to
Speaker 1: be you know, it's not same. We aren't gonna once
Speaker 1: the car is fixed.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. Nobody gave two ships about whether or
Speaker 2: not it was in the car. It was like the
Speaker 2: magic that happened because we were in a car. And
Speaker 2: basically what we're saying is we can make that mogic
Speaker 2: happen anywhere.
Speaker 1: Bro. Yeah, we just got to think of a new gimmick.
Speaker 2: What if we both suck on buttons during the recording
Speaker 2: of this podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called lip therapy. We'll call it lip therapy.
Speaker 2: We'll be sponsored by the lipballm lip therapy, which I'm
Speaker 2: positive there is.
Speaker 1: Then we will play a lip service by always Costellos.
Speaker 2: Our then is that the one that goes this is go?
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden the N word for
Speaker 1: no reason. Why, Hey, I love the guy, but man,
Speaker 1: come on, lay off the old N word.
Speaker 2: Buddy, Elvis Costello A couple of times.
Speaker 1: No, well, Liz, what.
Speaker 2: Really he says? It is? That? Why he says? That's
Speaker 2: so you can't tell how racist is?
Speaker 1: Slow it down and it's like we all must bring
Speaker 1: down the cleansing rain. WHOA, that's different when my God,
Speaker 1: don't ever slow down your Costello really good? Or you
Speaker 1: must learn to be a legal immigrant. That one's not
Speaker 1: that bad. It's not really something you'll learn.
Speaker 2: No, it's not a learned thing. It's more of a
Speaker 2: and so that's a natural.
Speaker 1: Zombs in the Florida build a wall under budget using
Speaker 1: Mexican folks. Oh, I think that could have done a
Speaker 1: better job with that whole rip.
Speaker 2: I feel like Oliver's arm. No, I think it was good.
Speaker 2: I think it was we were feeling our way through it.
Speaker 2: I think there's a real people. Uh they.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the idea of workshop.
Speaker 2: If only you could see how I'm moving my hands
Speaker 2: around on the table as if an idea is coming
Speaker 2: out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: It's tact all your brain tinkering.
Speaker 2: This is It looks like I'm playing one big game
Speaker 2: of battleship. Look, this is here and this idea is here,
Speaker 2: and together they're funny. They make a funny war.
Speaker 1: I thought it was like a Wigi born. Did you
Speaker 1: ever play with them?
Speaker 2: We played it one once.
Speaker 1: Shit scares me.
Speaker 2: It was scary. And then I had a friend Julie Adams,
Speaker 2: I believe No, Julie Taylor, I can't remember.
Speaker 1: She can stay at him.
Speaker 2: No, that's what it is. A girl in my high
Speaker 2: school told this story once at a party that freaked
Speaker 2: me out so about She said they her and her
Speaker 2: cousins played with the Wigi board in the attic trying
Speaker 2: to call up the devil and they did, and she
Speaker 2: had all these details and it was like this went
Speaker 2: black and this one did it and they freaked. It
Speaker 2: was like it freaked her out for the rest of
Speaker 2: her life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard too many stories and I've never experienced
Speaker 1: anything like that, or if I do, if a ghost
Speaker 1: thing happens, I just kind of ignore it. And then
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, we tried, like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to delve into.
Speaker 2: It, no, because that could be there could be something
Speaker 2: on the other side, and once you delve in, you're in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not. I don't not believe in anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, we've all seen horror movies. All it takes
Speaker 2: is one, you know, push of the Ouiji board and
Speaker 2: you're running from an invisible specter for the rest of
Speaker 2: your natural born days.
Speaker 1: As much as I complain about my hip or you know,
Speaker 1: my fear of stuff happening with my brain, imagine how
Speaker 1: much complaining I would do if there was a spirit
Speaker 1: possessing me. I'd be like, oh, that's sorry about what
Speaker 1: I said last night. I'm possessed. Oh here we go again.
Speaker 1: We'll talk more about your sugar diet.
Speaker 2: Anywait, was that about me?
Speaker 1: At no, no, no, no, I never do that. Gotcha?
Speaker 2: Gotcha another gotcha? We could retitle the podcast gotcha, and
Speaker 2: it's just a series of what seemed to be friendly
Speaker 2: conversations and then zing, I think that's a good I
Speaker 2: just nailed you.
Speaker 1: But there's a movie with There's there's a movie called
Speaker 1: Gotcha about Paintball, So oh yeah, yep.
Speaker 2: Could we get the stars of it and interview them.
Speaker 1: The star of it was the tall Anthony Edward. It's
Speaker 1: the tall guy from.
Speaker 2: Yes I Love Kid Classic also star Zodiac.
Speaker 1: Handsome guy despite a week chen. You know, sometimes I
Speaker 1: say things that are mean and bully like, and that
Speaker 1: was example. And i'd like to if you're out there
Speaker 1: and you're self conscious about your chin not being strong, ow,
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Oh if they're out there and they have a week chin,
Speaker 2: they've already grown a long, long beard. That's what everyone's
Speaker 2: doing these days.
Speaker 1: Every Oh my god. April and I went to the
Speaker 1: Renaissance Fair Have you ever been to them? And we
Speaker 1: became the jockeiest bullies.
Speaker 2: She was telling me how much she really was.
Speaker 1: She's like, this is exact. These are the people I
Speaker 1: can rip on.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, we went there and I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 2: These were all the people. Dude, Yo, this was nuts.
Speaker 1: It was really fun archery. I shot arrows. That was fun.
Speaker 2: That's fun.
Speaker 1: And then you look around it's just kind of mountain
Speaker 1: dew folks, you know, with corsets and they're having a
Speaker 1: great time and they're into it, yes, and they're there
Speaker 1: with their families and there's meats on sticks. They jumped
Speaker 1: on a trampoline, you know how in the Renaissance, trampolining, Uh,
Speaker 1: trampolining was popular. Harnesses, flips for fun, multi colored cat
Speaker 1: in the hat type hats very popular in the Renaissance.
Speaker 1: You get dressing just for no reason, like Spider Man.
Speaker 1: That was also yes popular. Apparently in the Renaissance. There
Speaker 1: is a lot of people that were like, you know what,
Speaker 1: this is also kind of cosplay, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: was making fun of it, but by the end, I
Speaker 1: was like, that guy is not dressed. Period. It was
Speaker 1: that was very fun.
Speaker 2: That sounds really fun, you know what it is? There's
Speaker 2: a I went to a similar thing once a state fair.
Speaker 2: My friend's band was playing. When I was working in Chicago.
Speaker 2: I went up to Wisconsin to go to this thing,
Speaker 2: and I was standing in the middle of this crowd
Speaker 2: and all these people were like having the best time,
Speaker 2: and I was just standing there. I almost felt like
Speaker 2: I was in a bubble, just standing there, watching everybody
Speaker 2: and judging them and making jokes in my head. And
Speaker 2: so afterwards I told my friend, I'm like, why do
Speaker 2: I do that? Like, why can't I just be a
Speaker 2: part of things? And she goes, because you're a writer,
Speaker 2: you have to hold yourself away so you can everything right.
Speaker 2: And so it's like, I'm jealous of people that get
Speaker 2: to just throw themselves into things entirely and become fans,
Speaker 2: because there's a thing in me that will not allow.
Speaker 1: Me to do it, will not. Yeah, I wish I
Speaker 1: was dumb enough to be present.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: You just see people soaking it up.
Speaker 2: Just enjoying themselves, not thinking about what other people.
Speaker 1: Think, thinking about what's happened in the past or what's
Speaker 1: going to happen in the next few minutes, and just
Speaker 1: sit there with their giant turkey leg and not even
Speaker 1: wipe their face.
Speaker 2: And going, look at I get to wear a corset
Speaker 2: in public, a thing no one would allow me to
Speaker 2: do on it any other day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's freedom.
Speaker 2: That it's fun. Yeah, tit's out everybody.
Speaker 1: There's a couple of nip slips there that where I
Speaker 1: was like, should I tell that, let them have their fun?
Speaker 2: It was accurate to the period.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that was that I did a lot of
Speaker 1: There was some chill. I mean, I'm not careful worker,
Speaker 1: but there was like fifteen there was like mothers and
Speaker 1: daughters where the daughter would be like early teens, mid teens,
Speaker 1: with their boobs pushed out. It's very common these come on,
Speaker 1: let's bring back family.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, I'm just kidding. The Bible, sorry, just slowed down, stella.
Speaker 1: Uh right.
Speaker 2: You know what is interesting, I just made me think
Speaker 2: of this. There was a period of time I don't
Speaker 2: know where. It was, somewhere near the Renaissance. I'm not
Speaker 2: a history major.
Speaker 1: Business.
Speaker 2: Perhaps the Byzantine era where this this style for women
Speaker 2: was that your nipples did show.
Speaker 1: And nothing else. Like what if you were like in
Speaker 1: a full one piece with a hood and only your nipples.
Speaker 1: That's a scene from Clockwork Orange, horrible scene. Why did
Speaker 1: I watch that as a kid? Yeah? Why did I?
Speaker 1: So they it would just be like give you a
Speaker 1: little nip.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, well, basically it was like this, you know,
Speaker 2: like a boat neck goes down to an inch above
Speaker 2: your It just went included the kind of like the
Speaker 2: top half.
Speaker 1: Of very but I'm gonna show my nipples. We were
Speaker 1: so aggressive back then, I know, Granted, there was slavery
Speaker 1: and all kinds of terrible things.
Speaker 2: But at least the rich got to show their nipples. Something.
Speaker 1: Come on, and now all the rich are trying to
Speaker 1: cover the nip.
Speaker 2: My coach brothers.
Speaker 1: I blame the coach bathers.
Speaker 2: Is it the Coke brothers.
Speaker 1: I think it's coach brothers. Yeah, are they it's coke.
Speaker 1: It's just because coach the.
Speaker 2: Ones that make those nice purses, mean brothers. Yeah, keeping
Speaker 2: all their money themselves bullshit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I always go Kate Spade, don't look
Speaker 1: at the clunk. No, I just want to see No
Speaker 1: it is, I'm looking right at it. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: It's like when I've been swimming and I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I keep looking at the clock. It's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I look three minutes ago.
Speaker 2: Wait, you mean like you go down to a swimming pool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's my news for the old hip, for
Speaker 1: the for the my old krackety hip.
Speaker 2: Is it working?
Speaker 1: It feels great? Yeah, I just go I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to I really didn't know how to swim, so
Speaker 1: I showed up. I'm like, I need a kickboard. In
Speaker 1: the past, i've tried to take a kickboard, lay in
Speaker 1: the water and just kick, and I just my legs
Speaker 1: sink and I kind of rotate towards the side and
Speaker 1: bump into that rope like bam bam.
Speaker 2: Ye little wind up toy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like a little wind up toy. And so I
Speaker 1: shoved a kickboard in my shorts and I just went
Speaker 1: there and got good at kicking. And I'm pretty good
Speaker 1: at kicking now. So I've just started involving the actual
Speaker 1: swimming without the kickboard. Like I did not to swim,
Speaker 1: but I think I've taught myself.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: I've been going a lot, though, or every other day.
Speaker 1: I haven't gone for three days. But it feels great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything's all loose because and there's an element of because
Speaker 1: I do it on my back. Usually it's this. I
Speaker 1: have no form of meditation that I've ever used. I
Speaker 1: know I should I should meditate. I should be in therapy.
Speaker 1: I probably should be on some drugs help you align
Speaker 1: your thoughts maybe, but I can't remember what I was
Speaker 1: talking about. Oh, I'm just kidding. That's a little bait
Speaker 1: and switch.
Speaker 2: That was what I call it. Zippity zoo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a deprivation element to being submerged. That is calming,
Speaker 1: and I don't think about anything like a dumb guy
Speaker 1: with putting all of a sudden, it's great, that's just
Speaker 1: lay there. I don't really actually time does fly by,
Speaker 1: so I'm into it.
Speaker 2: That's very cool.
Speaker 1: I'm plugging swimming in the movie Sing Street. Oh and
Speaker 1: I made some T shirts sponsored by swimming, sponsored by
Speaker 1: the Cock Brothers.
Speaker 2: So my dad has the same hip thing as you.
Speaker 2: He's had his replace twice, oh boy, because like the
Speaker 2: first ones like fall apart in your body, this happens.
Speaker 2: So but the last time he had it, he had
Speaker 2: arthritis in the thing and the nerve. It was a
Speaker 2: whole thing.
Speaker 1: I know, could your body not if you put a
Speaker 1: titanium thing and shove it into your sod off bone,
Speaker 1: how would your body not go put? Yes, get hit
Speaker 1: the fuck out of me? Yeah, that would happen. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he was having so that was the arthritis thing
Speaker 2: was in his back. So we had to get those
Speaker 2: things cleared out, and so he was walking really badly
Speaker 2: and it was it was kind of unnerving for a
Speaker 2: while because my dad is very like he's a big
Speaker 2: jogger in the seventies and he's all fit and whatever.
Speaker 1: And now he had like a side wig old shuffle thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was and he had the surgery, and
Speaker 2: then he was using a cane for a long time.
Speaker 2: And my sister and I were like, is this the
Speaker 2: beginning of the cane era? Well, he started going to
Speaker 2: this gym and Petaluma and swimming, and then he goes,
Speaker 2: I signed up for a trainer. I don't know, see
Speaker 2: if they can help me. Well, now he feels great,
Speaker 2: he's the king. He's not using the cane anymore. She's
Speaker 2: telling him the specific things to do.
Speaker 1: And I was like, he goesh.
Speaker 2: She gave me three free ones. I think I might
Speaker 2: get two more. I was like, how about you get
Speaker 2: fifteen more. That's money well spent. You can walk after.
Speaker 1: Like, so, what is happening for him? And what I
Speaker 1: hope is possible for me is his body is like
Speaker 1: the physiology of the joint, even though it's worn and
Speaker 1: it's bone non or no, he has metal in there,
Speaker 1: but I'm bone on bone. Yeah, they said, you don't
Speaker 1: necessarily have to get it replaced. Like maybe if my
Speaker 1: body realigns and stuff naturally goes in there and becomes patting.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm getting very technical. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: medical lack of knowledge. But yeah, it's definitely feels better.
Speaker 1: But I don't think I'm gonna undo what this guy
Speaker 1: does initially before the permanent replacement is literally he patented
Speaker 1: some metal helmet thing. It looks like a little motorcycle helmet.
Speaker 2: To guard the bone.
Speaker 1: It just goes on top like a cap. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I might do that thrown in.
Speaker 2: But it is like you're giving your body a chance
Speaker 2: to adjust itself, which it can do, and and you're
Speaker 2: getting that dopamine shot if that's what it is, or
Speaker 2: serotonin whatever it is when you exercise and you get
Speaker 2: that thing where like at least you feel better.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, while you're because.
Speaker 1: When you have pain, it's just fucking I need to exercise.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to get jiggly in the back, and then
Speaker 1: it's I've never been that way, and I'm like it
Speaker 1: makes me I don't have a thing that i can do.
Speaker 1: I can't run, I can't He's like, well, you have
Speaker 1: to quit doing everything and only swim. It's like, so
Speaker 1: I'm glad that I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's good. I like it. Now you have
Speaker 2: to go and join the old lady water aerobics classes.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I went to therapy and it was
Speaker 1: at the Elizabeth Taylor Aquatic Club. Just pictures of Elizabeth
Speaker 1: Taylor huge on the walls, swimming. You have to go there.
Speaker 1: Apparently she swam and I did that. My therapy was
Speaker 1: basically sit and be fit with a bunch of older
Speaker 1: ladies and it was just okay, hold your leg out,
Speaker 1: just rotate. I'm like, okay, this isn't worth my one
Speaker 1: hundred dollars per visit. It wasn't.
Speaker 2: No, it needs a little more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need uh yeah, I need like some I
Speaker 1: need the CrossFit version. I want them to be playing
Speaker 1: like limp biscuit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta go extreme. I wanted you to say
Speaker 2: that the therapy was that you got in the pool
Speaker 2: with a bunch of old ladies and you guys reenacted
Speaker 2: scenes from Butterfield Day or some classic Liz Taylor filmic epics.
Speaker 1: You guys were like, I wish I could jump in
Speaker 1: with an example of a we just we yeah, or
Speaker 1: what if we all just got together in a semicircle
Speaker 1: and kind of reenacted scenes from I don't know who's
Speaker 1: afraid of Virginia wool We actually we just got together
Speaker 1: and complained about Richard Burton and his drinking. Seriously, Oh, come.
Speaker 2: On, should I divorce him or remarrying him again? Am
Speaker 2: I right? Liz Taylor? I loved her so much. I
Speaker 2: have a painting of Liz Taylor. That's somebody made at
Speaker 2: some point in time. That's one of the greatest things
Speaker 2: of all time.
Speaker 1: You have it. I have it.
Speaker 2: It's like it wasn't in a fancy frame or anything,
Speaker 2: but it's like it's basically like a very very good portrait.
Speaker 2: It's not a beautiful it's not great and beautiful. It's
Speaker 2: something you would find in a thru store in Burbank.
Speaker 1: You would do it and someone would come up and go, oh,
Speaker 1: that's very good, that's fair.
Speaker 2: I know who that is. It's you just know who
Speaker 2: it is, and it's my favorite. Her hair is humongous,
Speaker 2: and she's got that Liz like she's kind of like hmmm,
Speaker 2: like looking over her shoulder. But then it's like what
Speaker 2: happened to our chin? But but you don't ask that
Speaker 2: question because you're just happy to have the painting she has.
Speaker 1: Kind of Anthony Edwards from gotcha chine. That's what I'm
Speaker 1: real good at. Just bring in a back.
Speaker 2: It's called a bringer back, and you know how to
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I I didn't know that seg was spelled
Speaker 1: seg like g u e and I didn't. I was
Speaker 1: real embarrassing. But the other day it was on the
Speaker 1: on the show where I had to read it and
Speaker 1: I kept saying seg and I would laughing, like good joke,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what say's seg? I thought it was
Speaker 1: sege had the word way and that. Sure, you know, right,
Speaker 1: I've been on this earth a while. There's just some
Speaker 1: stuff I haven't picked up.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that drive you?
Speaker 1: You don't have to laugh at me?
Speaker 2: Well, they felt bad about it. Guy looks sound. Guys
Speaker 2: are the ones that laugh the hardest because they're the saddest.
Speaker 2: Aaron am I right, he knows he knows the pain
Speaker 2: sitting there having to listen all day and not be
Speaker 2: able to give your two cents.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not not really listening because you're looking for things
Speaker 1: you'd have to edit out. Yes, like this lull right here.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to cut that shit out and or
Speaker 1: one of the oh gross, No one wants to hear
Speaker 1: that later.
Speaker 2: Snips snip snap, goodbye editing room floor.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll take care of that in the tape room
Speaker 1: by the steam bay. Yes, come on down, old form
Speaker 1: of editing. Reel to reel your clip. It literally put
Speaker 1: tape on it the steam bay. Did you see in
Speaker 1: a film school? No, but I had a girlfriend who did.
Speaker 2: Did you see the movie Hail Caesar?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that fucking part with Frances mcdormer, she's the editor.
Speaker 2: I think that was based on a real female editor.
Speaker 1: Yeah at that time, I hope, so she was the
Speaker 1: black I didn't people. Why weren't people screaming about that movie?
Speaker 2: It was because everybody thought it was going to be
Speaker 2: this epic thing like comedy, like everyone projected onto it,
Speaker 2: and it was also what do you call it? The
Speaker 2: commercials sold it as something and it wasn't. And then
Speaker 2: it looked like Jonah Hill was one of the co stars.
Speaker 2: He was in it for five minutes, right. But it
Speaker 2: was a tiny movie about the business of show business,
Speaker 2: which is of course all of our favorites. But I
Speaker 2: think the average person that doesn't give a shit goes
Speaker 2: in and is like, how come I have to watch this?
Speaker 1: Yeah? It's pretty specific.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to have that interest of like, what
Speaker 2: is it really like at a studio. But if you're like,
Speaker 2: how about you just give me a really good movie
Speaker 2: or like a really uh movie movie?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess it would be with fight scenes
Speaker 1: and hey, are we at that? Where are we are
Speaker 1: we at Sony? Where was this Raleigh? But we're near Sony?
Speaker 2: No, but you we're right by paramous City. We're right
Speaker 2: by the most famous gates of a studio paramount.
Speaker 1: And I call myself in an in show business person,
Speaker 1: and I call myself a show burglar. I don't even
Speaker 1: know what studio I'm not near.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you you are a show burglar? Because
Speaker 2: we did Sealing the show, Yes, the other night, when
Speaker 2: we did Largo. Yeah, let me just say the stories.
Speaker 2: When we did Largo. The other night we did Sarah
Speaker 2: Silverman and Friends. It was a great show, really good lineup.
Speaker 2: I had to follow Chris, which I don't know, I
Speaker 2: think I said when Flannet asked me when I wanted
Speaker 2: to go, I said, after you, because I knew that
Speaker 2: you would no matter what happened before you, you would
Speaker 2: kill and the audience would be hot. When I got
Speaker 2: on stage, not thinking about the fact that I would
Speaker 2: then have to follow you in terms of you just
Speaker 2: suffer by comparison and content because your set was so great.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I don't. I did my bit. I liked it.
Speaker 1: I had fun. It was fun, I know, but it
Speaker 1: was great.
Speaker 2: I really love watching your stand up. I know that
Speaker 2: you have a lot of heartache around it sometimes, but
Speaker 2: it's for the person in the audience. It's there's none
Speaker 2: it's great.
Speaker 1: It's funny. I don't enjoy things sometimes. When it was done,
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, that went well. I that's how
Speaker 1: it should always go. But it's And I just went
Speaker 1: home and then looked at the Largo Instagram and I
Speaker 1: was the only one that didn't get a picture on it.
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah you did, No, I didn't.
Speaker 1: It's on there. I saw it.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't see it. I don't want to see it.
Speaker 1: Jesus, that's fine. Had at time.
Speaker 2: Do you know why if you win, if you win
Speaker 2: the comedy contest of the night, you don't get your picture.
Speaker 2: That's the reward.
Speaker 1: Oh that's what they do there, you.
Speaker 2: Were That's why I tried so hard because I was like, please,
Speaker 2: don't put my picture in there. I'll do my best.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know that it was like an opposite
Speaker 1: that's great. Well I didn't know I did so well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: You lost opposite rewards. Also, here's the other thing, and
Speaker 2: I am so it's just my favorite thing. So sir,
Speaker 2: it's known fact. I'm not gossiping or anything. Sarah Silverman
Speaker 2: dates the British actor Michael Sheen. Yeah. Yeah, you've seen
Speaker 2: him in Frost Nixon. You have seen him in The Queen,
Speaker 2: The Masters of Sex. Masters of Sex is his series
Speaker 2: on Shiit Time. Shi Shit Time. One of the most charming,
Speaker 2: normal chill out dudes, sat in the dressing room, talked
Speaker 2: to April about Manchester for fucking ever, like just hung
Speaker 2: out with all of us in a way where I
Speaker 2: because I am truly a fan and a little bit
Speaker 2: starstruck by him. I kept turning around to seat, like
Speaker 2: when is he gonna leave? Because why is he just
Speaker 2: sitting in here talking to us? But he like genuinely
Speaker 2: like likes Sarah's friends, and likes comedy and likes comedians
Speaker 2: and like wants to hang out.
Speaker 1: Andy sat on the side of the stage and laughed
Speaker 1: at the whole show. He did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everything, watched the whole show right in the back curtain.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 2: I was just so I just find that touching sometimes,
Speaker 2: and like how disappointing are most celebrities when you meet them, Yeah,
Speaker 2: where they're like you're welcome.
Speaker 1: Well there's some about him too. He's just an attractive man.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm straight, you know me, it's straight, but
Speaker 1: every once in a while I sexually attracted to men. Sure,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just I'm just I'm I understand his
Speaker 1: too late. You said it, I you know, and I
Speaker 1: want to kiss him. Damn it, this he'll Discustello record's
Speaker 1: broken again. He he has.
Speaker 2: He is a magnetic person.
Speaker 1: He's a magnetic man, and he also.
Speaker 2: Seems like a royal. So you're kind of like, I
Speaker 2: just want to stay in this room. I have nothing
Speaker 2: to say, but I just kind of want to be
Speaker 2: nearby and pretend that we're best friends. Yeah, he just
Speaker 2: is like exciting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seems like a nice guy.
Speaker 2: I like him. I just wanted to brag out because
Speaker 2: I think, like, I don't know it, I'm in it
Speaker 2: for the celebrities as much as anything else here in
Speaker 2: La Yeah. Yeah, but like then you'll meet one every
Speaker 2: once in a while, and you're just like, I wish
Speaker 2: you would move away. I don't like you or anything
Speaker 2: that you're like.
Speaker 1: I'm uh. I've distanced myself from it, not on purpose,
Speaker 1: but living at the Old Beach, I don't see a
Speaker 1: lot of celebs. Yeah, just guys flying kites from a bike.
Speaker 1: Clareness Beido a little bits on them.
Speaker 2: That's scary.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Oh, I feel so dumb for calling him
Speaker 1: a nicknlty. A lot of people used to confuse them.
Speaker 1: I bet a whole party ones. I think it was
Speaker 1: after I ate a spider on a chip once.
Speaker 2: That doesn't matter as a drug.
Speaker 1: I got fifty bucks. But I bet these guys I
Speaker 1: used to I used to try and gamble at parties.
Speaker 1: He was still moving. Yeah. Sorry, there was salta and
Speaker 1: it was on a chip. I put a spider on there.
Speaker 1: I ate it, I swallowed it. I was fine. Fifty bucks.
Speaker 1: I think I still have no regrets about that when
Speaker 1: I do it again.
Speaker 2: Of course, it's your life, and also you're eating them
Speaker 2: in your sleep. Anyway, consciously, we all know that.
Speaker 1: We all ingest and chew seven to eight spiders per night.
Speaker 1: When you wake up and there's that feeling of like
Speaker 1: the sweater like them, I need some water. That's just
Speaker 1: spider guts.
Speaker 2: That's spider guts and legs stuck in your teeth.
Speaker 1: Don't get me started about the ones that went in
Speaker 1: your ears. But a party, and everyone there was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: Nick Nolty was so good and big Wednesday, this surf
Speaker 1: movie that Gary Busey when he was like a cognitive
Speaker 1: brain functioning man. And I was like, that's not that's
Speaker 1: not Nick Nolty. And they all went against me, and
Speaker 1: I bet the money and they paid up how much
Speaker 1: I don't remember, but over twenty oh yeah yeah, ooh,
Speaker 1: maybe I'd like to think. So I was such a hustler.
Speaker 2: It's your lie. You can kind of make it anything
Speaker 2: you want.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was a kid and I get on my bike,
Speaker 1: I'd go and I'd invest it. And that's why today
Speaker 1: I'm a very wealthy man.
Speaker 2: Is that true? No?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not very rich. Okay, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: but I'm doing okay good good. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Well,
Speaker 1: where's our guest.
Speaker 2: Oh, Michael Sheen, he's gonna he's hearing about.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm pready awkward. And I said I was attracted
Speaker 1: to him.
Speaker 2: No, he's actually here to confront you about that. Oh great,
Speaker 2: kind of like intervention, but it's like it's like getting
Speaker 2: in your face and being like, what do you buy
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: British that's like a scared straight camp. I went to, Uh,
Speaker 1: that's what. Doing archery at the Renaissance. I was good
Speaker 1: at it for some reason. And then it brought back
Speaker 1: memories I've shut out most of them because it was
Speaker 1: a horrific time where they just said your parents are
Speaker 1: going to hell and it's your job to get them
Speaker 1: to believe in God. And they picked me up and
Speaker 1: I was just sobbing.
Speaker 2: It was very oh you're a Christian camp.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah. But they had a shooting bows and arrows
Speaker 1: and that's that's I'm like, I've done this, I know
Speaker 1: how to do this. Yes, And I just went and man,
Speaker 1: talk about hitting some red circles.
Speaker 2: Dude. We did archery at my camp as well. One
Speaker 2: of my greatest early memories was this one year I
Speaker 2: liked a boy can't John something and we were doing
Speaker 2: archery and he came up and he's talking to the
Speaker 2: girl at the heybale thing next to me whatever. Uh,
Speaker 2: And I was like well, I should do my best
Speaker 2: to try to impress this guy. Here's my thinking, as
Speaker 2: like a twelve year old being good at archery would
Speaker 2: make a guy attracted to a girl. It's so tragic, uh.
Speaker 2: I fucking lined it up bullseye and he goes, WHOA Karen?
Speaker 2: And then I like, drop my thing and walked away.
Speaker 2: Another mistake. When you're trying to like, if you like somebody,
Speaker 2: just you fucking constantly like mic, drop.
Speaker 1: And walk where.
Speaker 2: He's like, no, you're supposed to stop, stay there and
Speaker 2: talk to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't work with kids. I guess she
Speaker 1: doesn't like me. She walked away. Every kid thinks the
Speaker 1: other kid doesn't like them. I know, you're like playing
Speaker 1: hard to get. It's like, I guess she doesn't like.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, there's nineteen other girls over here. And meanwhile
Speaker 2: I walked away two four feet away and then just
Speaker 2: kind of stood there like no, no, I don't know
Speaker 2: where a tree.
Speaker 1: I guess this is the end of the road.
Speaker 2: I guess I'll stay here for the rest of the week.
Speaker 1: Did I tell you about how a big Sky Bible
Speaker 1: camp they thought I was experiencing stigmata. I was waiting
Speaker 1: for a boat. A little boy punched me in the
Speaker 1: stomach because his name was Ian. At the fire, he said,
Speaker 1: I accepted Jesus in my heart in the back of
Speaker 1: a cop car and it's like, oh, I've made a
Speaker 1: noise and he looked at me and then so he
Speaker 1: didn't like me because of that. I made fun of
Speaker 1: his tough guy how old I was, Oh boy, I
Speaker 1: have eleven, okay ten, and he was like twelve.
Speaker 2: I need to see a picture of you, and you're alive.
Speaker 1: Oh my hair, I have I have a picture of
Speaker 1: this that it was days later, so I'll show you
Speaker 1: a picture. Yeah. So we went camping and I couldn't
Speaker 1: stop crying. I thought I was going to hell. It
Speaker 1: was awful. I hated But anyway, I was waiting for
Speaker 1: a canoe on this dock and they put they lined
Speaker 1: the dock with like sheet metal so boats could bang
Speaker 1: against it, I guess. And this kid pushed me off
Speaker 1: the dock and the edge of the thing scraped my
Speaker 1: nipples to where today they're still scarchy, have puffy nips.
Speaker 1: I feel like before I go swimming, I pinch him
Speaker 1: and because they're just big because they got ripped off.
Speaker 1: I could see him on the edge my nipples, and
Speaker 1: so I went like, that is covering the blood coming
Speaker 1: off my nipples, and they and some idiot counselor was like,
Speaker 1: that's they had. I had to go talk to the
Speaker 1: priest and explain that I had simply scraped my nipples
Speaker 1: and it wasn't this thing that they were telling me
Speaker 1: about which I'd never heard of. They were like, it's
Speaker 1: very important that you recognize the meaning of and it's like, no,
Speaker 1: I cut my nips and I covered. But I'd have
Speaker 1: a meaning with him, and he had. It was so creepy.
Speaker 1: He had this chair he did he put just diff
Speaker 1: and He's like, do you know what this is? And
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know, and he's like it's going up.
Speaker 1: You're asking that was seven or eight items?
Speaker 2: Oh no, why didn't you just say what it was?
Speaker 1: I know, I know I should have just said pencil sharpener,
Speaker 1: matchbox car, an older racer. Just say what they were.
Speaker 1: That's your dick, sir.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: But he had this daughter that I didn't think he
Speaker 1: was genuine because he acted. He would bring his daughter
Speaker 1: everywhere on she was in a wheelchair and she had
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know what was wrong with her, but
Speaker 1: she had a hard life and she was wheelchair bound.
Speaker 1: And he I remember he'd like, whenever he talked to us,
Speaker 1: he'd had her next door and they just kind of
Speaker 1: and she'd just kind of be rolling away and he's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: he didn't. I could just tell he didn't really care
Speaker 1: about her, but he was parading her around as a
Speaker 1: example of how gracious he was. He always had to
Speaker 1: have his daughter next room. So when I had to
Speaker 1: go have my meeting about my nips, she was just
Speaker 1: staring at me. Oh, it was just it's all coming
Speaker 1: back to me now. I've never really talked about this.
Speaker 2: But it sounds like a David Lynch movie.
Speaker 1: It was horrifying, and it was a scary office. And
Speaker 1: at night when all the kids were sleeping and their
Speaker 1: noses were whistling, I thought it was kids screaming in
Speaker 1: the lake. I thought people were drowning. It was like
Speaker 1: I thought I was getting possessed. So my dad picked
Speaker 1: me up and we were leaving the Bible camp and
Speaker 1: I was like, crying, and you're going to hell. And
Speaker 1: at night the children were drowning and I had my
Speaker 1: nipples got scraped off. The stigmata and so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: and my dad just turned around, and I watched him
Speaker 1: from the car go up to this head past our
Speaker 1: guy and just yet poking him in the chest, yelling
Speaker 1: at him, pointing at me, and the guy's like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what to say to kids.
Speaker 1: I don't know what my dad. I should ask him
Speaker 1: what he said. I love that.
Speaker 2: Yes, hell yeah, I mean if only because your dad
Speaker 2: was not religious, right.
Speaker 1: Like this wasn't my parents weren't. My sister went because
Speaker 1: I think she'd made out with boys she liked and
Speaker 1: it was fun for her, being six years older than me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like she's not so literal as you are, right, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I can kind of take her leave this. Hell shit,
Speaker 2: I'm not too worried about it.
Speaker 1: Her and I are both on the same page now
Speaker 1: for certain. Yeah, that's at least how I remember it.
Speaker 1: Maybe my dad just told me yelled at him. Whatever.
Speaker 1: You know, how yead images to stories Sometimes it's called
Speaker 1: lying that whole story didn't happen. I've never been to it.
Speaker 2: Can you know what it's called. It's called good podcasting,
Speaker 2: that's right, Yeah, just trying to take a thread of
Speaker 2: a distant memory and just pull that shit out and
Speaker 2: entertain us.
Speaker 1: That's what luisy K said. He said a lot of
Speaker 1: his stories that people one percent believe. He totally is embellishing.
Speaker 2: He told you that on the phone.
Speaker 1: It was, I don't know, a podcast or something.
Speaker 2: I think you might be embellishing that.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I was in he was on
Speaker 1: our podcast, right, yeah, yeah, No, I don't know. We're
Speaker 1: at the gym. We were swimming. No, no, I can't remember.
Speaker 2: He was whispering to you underwater. You know what I
Speaker 2: like to do in my pool.
Speaker 1: I'm a liar. That sounded love. I love folly work.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that it's really good.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's going to be a major part
Speaker 2: of this new studio. I think so incarnation.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say incarceration, Chris, Yeah, this sounds like
Speaker 1: a conclusionary tone.
Speaker 2: No, no, I was going to say something, but it's
Speaker 2: totally left my mind.
Speaker 1: Now were you gonna did you? Did you have to
Speaker 1: make amends?
Speaker 2: Do you want me to? No? Uh oh, now I
Speaker 2: have to figure out what the problem is. No. No,
Speaker 2: I was going to say I have a pool, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: which I don't talk about that much because I don't
Speaker 2: want to brag at people.
Speaker 1: People are gonna think you're like Richie rich. Right. It's
Speaker 1: a normal pool. It's not pool your house. It's modest,
Speaker 1: it's not fancy.
Speaker 2: I do not clean it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the pool it's very small, it's very you're not bragging,
Speaker 1: trust me. Her house is almost it's meager dwelling that
Speaker 1: happens to have a cement surrounded body of water behind it.
Speaker 2: It's almost by chance, as opposed to having anything to
Speaker 2: do with me. But when I'm in that pool, sometimes
Speaker 2: I like to lay back ears underwater, okay, look at
Speaker 2: the sky, sure, and then tell myself that I'm actually
Speaker 2: laying forward. Have you ever done this? No? Where you
Speaker 2: just in your mind? I entertain the idea that what
Speaker 2: if you're actually facing down inside a way bigger pool.
Speaker 1: You mean drowning?
Speaker 2: No, no, okay, because you can still breathe, you're on
Speaker 2: your bed, okay, but you're just picturing that the sky
Speaker 2: is the pool that you're looking into.
Speaker 1: Oh that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: It's a real trip out, and it's like for that
Speaker 2: feeling when you're underwater and it just you kind of
Speaker 2: don't know where you are anymore. It's really fun.
Speaker 1: I've been afraid my brain is too much of a
Speaker 1: vault and it won't go out on that limb.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, test it out. I'm gonna just take
Speaker 2: you know, take a blowtorch to that vault. See if
Speaker 2: you can't get in there. Yeah, and let the magic.
Speaker 1: See if there's some Barra bonds. Maybe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a secret diamond necklace in one of those boxes,
Speaker 2: wouldn't you, mistress came to me, if there was an apocalypse,
Speaker 2: everybody died but a handful of people, I would go
Speaker 2: to a bank and just start fucking open those boxes.
Speaker 1: I think you're going to say, what I started eating people?
Speaker 2: We can do that one too. Yeah, it wouldn't be fascinating.
Speaker 2: Those are things no one else can look at, no
Speaker 2: one else can get to. What are people putting in there?
Speaker 2: A human hand? Yeah, cougarans, just some doilies that have meaning.
Speaker 1: Grandmother gave me these doilies.
Speaker 2: They were Hitlers. It's all Hitler stuff, every secret clues
Speaker 2: to things that noms is like, well, here's that knife
Speaker 2: I killed her with and all those other people.
Speaker 1: I guess I'll wrap it up in this map I drew.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you want to?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to have an adventure me too, but
Speaker 1: I won't. I'll probably go home and nap.
Speaker 2: Have the adventure in your mind, in your dreamscape.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd prefer to do it that way. It's safer.
Speaker 2: I want to go out of town. Though I've been,
Speaker 2: I haven't left town in a really long time.
Speaker 1: I'm going to Houston in the morning.
Speaker 2: Oh that's fun. Yeah, what club?
Speaker 1: It's called the Joke Joint?
Speaker 2: Is it the Comedy the Lapstop? Isn't there any no
Speaker 2: that those were.
Speaker 1: The glory days I feel of Houston Comedy that that
Speaker 1: place closed, but it's still nice to go back there
Speaker 1: and Mark Babbitt and old Babbitt Prabbit people. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: people like to say things about Babbitt. He's he was
Speaker 1: the guy that got me going.
Speaker 2: Mark Babbitt had great taste and gave really talented young
Speaker 2: people a chance.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was the first time I ever saw
Speaker 1: you is He made me watch your Girl's Guitar Club.
Speaker 1: He can't. It was like there was a green room
Speaker 1: there and there is one tape and he's like, you
Speaker 1: should watch this, and it was great. Yeahs, You're like,
Speaker 1: I could do this it's like the no, no, they
Speaker 1: weren't because I cannot play guitar and sing. It makes
Speaker 1: me very nervous to even think about.
Speaker 2: I headlined the Live Stop, first time I ever headlined anywhere,
Speaker 2: and last I think it was so fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I loved that place. Yea, he didn't care
Speaker 1: of you were weird and went out on a limb
Speaker 1: and it didn't work and you ate it, because that's
Speaker 1: what happened to me every time I thought it was great.
Speaker 1: I used to do these drawings on seat well yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and it ended up being a hidden pentagram and and
Speaker 1: like a drawing instruction guy. It was like a sketch
Speaker 1: that I would do.
Speaker 2: Oh, like a Bob Ross thing. Yeah yeah, and it's
Speaker 2: uh and the audience is like, talk about your balls.
Speaker 1: No, there was plenty of balls in the drawing. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I always leave room for balls. You know that about me.
Speaker 1: It's one of the things that that priest held up
Speaker 1: this ball. Well, I think this went well. I mean
Speaker 1: it's good to test the what Yeah, and let's just breathe,
Speaker 1: let's breathe doubtely. There we go. It's still good. I'm
Speaker 1: glad we did a studio really honestly, And it's because
Speaker 1: I've been paranoid and maybe i'm you know, I'm a
Speaker 1: hypochondriac all that stuff. But I've started to think that
Speaker 1: we were going to injure someone in the car, Like
Speaker 1: what if we really it's really almost happened a few times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the close calls. How awful would that have been.
Speaker 1: It's a dangerous What we're doing is dangerous, and it's
Speaker 1: a lot of hard work, and it's hard to go
Speaker 1: to the airport, and we I didn't know that. I
Speaker 1: just thought we had a great idea, but a lot of.
Speaker 2: We're having fun be like this must be hard, and
Speaker 2: then we'd be like, yeah.
Speaker 1: It is hard. Why do you have to say that
Speaker 1: we don't like it? And then I just started to
Speaker 1: I'm real paranoid. I'd have thoughts about it all the time,
Speaker 1: like what if we got sideswipe, our guest got injured
Speaker 1: or something. It's scary. I don't know. I just know
Speaker 1: I've said it.
Speaker 2: Well and it can't happen anymore. Put truck drives through
Speaker 2: this room. I was always just bummed because I can't
Speaker 2: get my car clean. It can't be clean. I need
Speaker 2: to get rid of that car and get a car
Speaker 2: that has like leather or fake leather seats.
Speaker 1: So they get one of those BMW little cars.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like the little those little toy.
Speaker 1: Cars that look like you rub them on the carpet
Speaker 1: and let them go.
Speaker 2: I love those cars.
Speaker 1: They're pretty nice.
Speaker 2: But yeah, something that's more dog friendly, yeah, because mine is.
Speaker 1: Oh as far as wiping off the surfaces, I don't.
Speaker 2: Want to be the person that's like, hey, come come
Speaker 2: into this ball of hair and I'll drive you around.
Speaker 1: Right, it's gross.
Speaker 2: But then like any time we go to leave, I
Speaker 2: would have to backtime it, which I'm not good at
Speaker 2: doing in my normal life, so that I could clean
Speaker 2: for like an hour and a half, just so it
Speaker 2: would get decent enough for people to be inside it.
Speaker 1: Or and I thought it was a good solution to
Speaker 1: put the sheet over, but sometimes they'd sit in there
Speaker 1: and they can't find the seat belt hole that you
Speaker 1: ripped in the sheet, and then they're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't have a seat belt. It's like, ah, you'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Then I get real, Like my dad in the
Speaker 2: seventies was liken, take it easy, don't make a big
Speaker 2: deal about it, and just like everybody likes seat belts.
Speaker 2: It's kind of a thing.
Speaker 1: It's really the hottest thing out there, right.
Speaker 2: So it's very popular for a reason.
Speaker 1: Nothing more popular. Not flying out of a windshield is
Speaker 1: the new rolling stones.
Speaker 2: Oh, should we do a couple plugs before we go back?
Speaker 2: Because we get to do I think it's becoming that
Speaker 2: we get to do business class the second Tuesday of
Speaker 2: every Hell, yes, yes, you're on April. And I agreed.
Speaker 2: I thought we told you this last time you said it.
Speaker 1: But she just as nice things sometimes.
Speaker 2: Oh you need it from the old Negativo to know
Speaker 2: it's really.
Speaker 1: I need it from your seventies dad.
Speaker 2: Hey, listen, Jesus, you did a great job. You get
Speaker 2: to do it every time, all right, now, quit making
Speaker 2: a big deal about it. Show off times over there
Speaker 2: you go. That was Jim.
Speaker 1: I almost took the cane out from under you take
Speaker 1: that tone with.
Speaker 2: Me, Jesus Christ like, I like this character.
Speaker 1: He's gate.
Speaker 2: I can slip into gym anytime you need come on.
Speaker 1: I just a lot of people go, that's what she said,
Speaker 1: you know, they used to, Thank God, they don't, but
Speaker 1: I've replaced it with.
Speaker 2: Just going, oh, so that's what that meant so if
Speaker 2: something is a double on Twitter or slightly sexual you
Speaker 2: so let's try it. Okay, you know, I've been playing
Speaker 2: a lot of tennis lately, but I just don't know
Speaker 2: where to put the balls. There we go, Yeah, this
Speaker 2: is something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think June.
Speaker 2: I believe June eighth is the second Wednesday. I'm almost positive.
Speaker 2: Sam Blair just emailed me, but please come to business
Speaker 2: class at the Improv Lab. The second would Improv Lab,
Speaker 2: Hollywood Improv Lab, the second Wednesday of June. We will
Speaker 2: be there. It's April Richardson and I hosting. Chris Fairbanks
Speaker 2: will be there, and then a bevy of other people
Speaker 2: we've asked and forgotten we asked, and Bevy try to
Speaker 2: remember and bring back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be great.
Speaker 2: It'll be super fun.
Speaker 1: And I would like to plug these shirts I made.
Speaker 1: I really like them. If you like the movie The Warriors.
Speaker 1: They're soft cotton, They're very soft, They're a good quality getting.
Speaker 1: It's like I don't want these Haynes beefy te's that
Speaker 1: I'll scrape you up and cut off your nips. And
Speaker 1: then everyone's saying, oh nice day, yeah, yeah, go see
Speaker 1: the priest. Yeah, I have a nice soft shirt and
Speaker 1: enjoy your summer.
Speaker 2: Camp really quick. Is it the kind of shirt where
Speaker 2: the design is like screen as opposed to a big
Speaker 2: thick thing on top.
Speaker 1: It's like in the shirt very lightly. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: probably If you closed your eyes and just kind of
Speaker 1: pinched and twisted the fabric, you could someone could put
Speaker 1: your fingers on to wear. It's screen printed, or maybe
Speaker 1: just the sleeve the plant, and you would not know
Speaker 1: just as soft where the ink is. And I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. I haven't received them yet, but they must
Speaker 1: be from the photos I can tell that they are.
Speaker 1: It's a light screen printed.
Speaker 2: It's not a big, bold, just thing that starts to
Speaker 2: feel like you're wearing a sandwich board on the front
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: Bat My shirts have that. It bucks it makes you sweat.
Speaker 2: It just makes me not wear the shirt. Yeah, basically. Yeah, anyhow,
Speaker 2: you did you give that website? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, it's one Yeah it's one color KKK color
Speaker 1: n W n E www oh and one color but
Speaker 1: color with a K.
Speaker 2: That's all okay? Yeah, dot com, dot org, dot net, I.
Speaker 1: Believe it's dot com. Yeah, let's and then you can
Speaker 1: you can just see the Chris Ferrman. There will be
Speaker 1: a shirt on there with my face in the corner
Speaker 1: and uh it's a got a bridge, it says the Warriors.
Speaker 1: There we go. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's basically the Warriors basketball logo, but instead of
Speaker 2: normal writing for the Warriors, it's the writing from the
Speaker 2: seventies movie The Warriors exactly. It's wonderful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an idea I had late one night. I
Speaker 1: had had some whiskeys. Yeah, threw it together. Who says
Speaker 1: drinking is bad?
Speaker 2: Not Hemingway and not you my friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, got my liver hurts when I laugh. Swim it off,
Speaker 1: being Jesus, swim it off. Oh you're slipping in the
Speaker 1: gym again. Sometimes I'll mix it up slipping in slipping
Speaker 1: in the gym. Hey, okay, listen, I'm a child. You've
Speaker 1: been listening to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: D Y n A r