1
00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880
Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five,

2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200
Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger.

4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love

5
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320
Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

6
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400
Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

7
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

8
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360
Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

9
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,920
Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

10
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,880
Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and forty six,

11
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,239
Speaker 1: which is airing in mid mid to late April of

12
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,760
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. Sarah is going to be interviewing Kristen

13
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,479
Speaker 1: of the Frugal Girl blog, as we are very excited

14
00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:52,560
Speaker 1: to have her on the program, talking all things frugality

15
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:57,480
Speaker 1: and cheerfully living on less, which is her tagline. We

16
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,360
Speaker 1: have both been reading her blog forever or I we

17
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,760
Speaker 1: write Sarah, yes, although I'm guessing that I've found her

18
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,720
Speaker 1: through you, so I must have been reading you for longer. Well,

19
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,600
Speaker 1: I'm still trying to remember how I found you. I

20
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,880
Speaker 1: probably commented on your blog. Maybe that's probably how you

21
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,880
Speaker 1: found me. Maybe I don't know. It's an interesting question.

22
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,480
Speaker 1: We'll have to trace that back. I don't think you

23
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,840
Speaker 1: randomly found me. I think I commented and then you

24
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,320
Speaker 1: wrote back, and I was like, oh, how cool, and

25
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: you probably clicked through my link and were like, ooh,

26
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,959
Speaker 1: who is Babymerson. No, well, maybe that's how it hated.

27
00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,080
Speaker 1: I don't really quite remember how it transpired. But yeah,

28
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,360
Speaker 1: Sarah and I have been blogging forever, and Kristin has

29
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 1: been as well. I remember I found her when I

30
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,800
Speaker 1: wrote a personal finance book. People may not know that

31
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,360
Speaker 1: about me, but I wrote a book called All the

32
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,560
Speaker 1: Money in the World that came out in twenty twelve,

33
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,200
Speaker 1: and in the course of writing that, I entered the

34
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 1: world of frugal bloggers. There turns out to be a

35
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,240
Speaker 1: lot of them. Kristin is the only one I really

36
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:56,000
Speaker 1: still read every day. Basically, she does post four or

37
00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:01,280
Speaker 1: five times a week and lots of great segments, like

38
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,520
Speaker 1: she does Thankful Thursdays. She was doing food Waste Fridays

39
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 1: for a while. She does What I Spent, What I

40
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,120
Speaker 1: Ate five Frugal Things, and her listener, I mean, her

41
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,799
Speaker 1: readers are just also incredibly generous in the comments as well.

42
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,400
Speaker 1: She has cultivated quite a community of people who want

43
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: to encourage each other on their money saving wealth building journeys,

44
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,040
Speaker 1: which is great because there's a lot of people out

45
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:31,760
Speaker 1: there who seem to view Internet comments sections as where

46
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,720
Speaker 1: they can bring out their worst impulses, creating a cesspool

47
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 1: of humanity. So if you're ever feeling like the Internet

48
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,919
Speaker 1: is a cesspool of humanity, you should have it over

49
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 1: to the comment section on the Frugal Girl and your

50
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,320
Speaker 1: faith will be restored. It is a lovely blog. You know,

51
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,840
Speaker 1: there's so few like honest blogs anymore, and hers is

52
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,880
Speaker 1: like she could have sold out, like she could have

53
00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,920
Speaker 1: easily taken a million sponsorships and things, but she didn't.

54
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,600
Speaker 1: And I love that about her blog. It's very real.

55
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,400
Speaker 1: It's like never reads like a commercial. I just I

56
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 1: really love it. It's like one of those like honest, straightforward,

57
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,079
Speaker 1: this is my life, these are lessons, these are you know,

58
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 1: some beautiful things I noticed, this is what I cooked

59
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: this week, et cetera. So shout out to her, as

60
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,080
Speaker 1: you will hear more from her. She really balances that

61
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,880
Speaker 1: out so well. So we were going to share a

62
00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,880
Speaker 1: few of our other favorite blogs that are along that

63
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,160
Speaker 1: vein because I feel like it's dwindling, its dwindling genre,

64
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: so sad. Which which ones are are you reading these days? Yeah?

65
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,040
Speaker 1: So I still love lag liv I will like instantly

66
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,760
Speaker 1: click on anything she writes to find out what's going on.

67
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 1: I think because she doesn't post as much anymore, it

68
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,280
Speaker 1: makes every post all the more precious. Stay tuned. You

69
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,040
Speaker 1: may be hearing from her on a podcast that you enjoy,

70
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,960
Speaker 1: such as this one in the future. And by the way,

71
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 1: she was already a guest, so stay tuned. Let me yes, yes,

72
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,960
Speaker 1: grateful Kay, I enjoy not a wasted word. Who is

73
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,720
Speaker 1: an anonymous blog but she's a teacher in San Francisco,

74
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,640
Speaker 1: So just a unique perspective that I enjoy. And something

75
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: remarkable which is written by an academic writer who's a professor.

76
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 1: And I've recently discovered, through the help of my own readers,

77
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,760
Speaker 1: a blogger who goes by Harry times just five children,

78
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 1: just like Laura, and she's an academic and people have

79
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,640
Speaker 1: suggested that she would make a great guest here as well,

80
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,200
Speaker 1: so we may feature her in the future. I'll have

81
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 1: to check that out. Yeah, I want to give us

82
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 1: a shout out. Some of the people who comment on

83
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 1: our blogs who have blogs themselves. Please check out Lisa

84
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,520
Speaker 1: of Lisa's Yarns, Elizabeth Frost. That's Elizabeth with an s

85
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,840
Speaker 1: that her blog is her name. Grateful Quay also one

86
00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:46,800
Speaker 1: who posts on our blogs. We love to see that

87
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,800
Speaker 1: people are blogging. I hardly encourage people to try it.

88
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,039
Speaker 1: It's kind of a fun hobby. Certainly. That's why we've

89
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,239
Speaker 1: both stuck with it all this time. I mean, Sarah,

90
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:59,359
Speaker 1: I've been incredibly impressed with that. There's just not that

91
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 1: many people who stick with the blogs who have and

92
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,760
Speaker 1: I put in quote marks here, but real jobs, like

93
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,400
Speaker 1: jobs that are not other jobs. There's a thing that

94
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,880
Speaker 1: would be you know, you're just building your platform like

95
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,560
Speaker 1: me right, Like I'm blogging because it's part of my

96
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 1: platform building that you know, people will come and listen

97
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,360
Speaker 1: to my podcasts and read my books and things like that,

98
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:22,279
Speaker 1: or hire me to speak, whereas you know, you have

99
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,800
Speaker 1: another job that's that's totally separate from it, and so

100
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,240
Speaker 1: I know you also blog as you like blogging. I

101
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,800
Speaker 1: like to tell yeah, I want to stuck with it. No,

102
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,040
Speaker 1: I mean, of course, yeah, yeah, I mean you can

103
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,440
Speaker 1: tell that on people's websites when somebody has just told

104
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,479
Speaker 1: them you need to do at least one post a week,

105
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 1: and they're like grumpily posting once a week. Like I'm

106
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,800
Speaker 1: not grumpily posting, I'm happily posting. But yeah, it'd be

107
00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,800
Speaker 1: great to see more bloggers who do have more traditional

108
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,400
Speaker 1: yes and feel share. Feel free to share in our

109
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,840
Speaker 1: show notes if you have other favorites that we didn't

110
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:56,919
Speaker 1: mention that we should check out. I do think it

111
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,920
Speaker 1: is dwindling a bit, and partly it's because people treat

112
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,760
Speaker 1: social media as I know, a lot of people post

113
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,200
Speaker 1: what they would have posted on a blog on Instagram,

114
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 1: for instance, you know, the photo and then the caption

115
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,000
Speaker 1: is sort of a longer take on life and what's

116
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,360
Speaker 1: going on right now. And I get it because people

117
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,000
Speaker 1: are more likely to come across you in that context

118
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,800
Speaker 1: versus your own website. But on the other hand, it's like,

119
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,880
Speaker 1: then Instagram has it like Instagram could disappear, they could

120
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 1: change their algorithm, they could do like all that stuff

121
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,080
Speaker 1: and just be gone. I mean, you're creating a lot

122
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 1: of stuff that you just don't have any real control over. Yeah,

123
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,160
Speaker 1: and I've actually oddly felt more comfortable being more real

124
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,840
Speaker 1: on my blog even though it's public, compared to when

125
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,320
Speaker 1: I was previously posting on Instagram. And I'm not sure

126
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,560
Speaker 1: why that's the case. I think it's because I feel

127
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,919
Speaker 1: like people who go to my blog have purposely like

128
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,279
Speaker 1: typed in, like the shoebox dot com, like they want

129
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 1: to read what I have to say, whereas Instagram like

130
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,760
Speaker 1: God knows why someone might be seeing my post, and

131
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,880
Speaker 1: so it just feels less intimate to me. Yeah. Well,

132
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:05,200
Speaker 1: Kristin has blogging down to a science. She is incredibly genuine,

133
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,760
Speaker 1: like I said, not the overly commercially stuff, cheerfully living

134
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,240
Speaker 1: on less and we know her life has not been easy,

135
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:15,040
Speaker 1: but the fact that she is so cheerful and dedicated

136
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,000
Speaker 1: to her gratitude practices just really speaks to her character

137
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 1: and I think that's why we are so drawn to her.

138
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,720
Speaker 1: So make sure everyone reads her blog. And here's our

139
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,960
Speaker 1: interview with Sarah interviewing Kristin of The Frugal Girl. I

140
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,120
Speaker 1: am so excited today to introduce Kristin, who blogs at

141
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,680
Speaker 1: The Frugal Girl, which happens to be a blog that

142
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,680
Speaker 1: I have read for years and years, so I am

143
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 1: particularly excited to have Kristin on and get to know

144
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,440
Speaker 1: her better through the microphone and as a real person.

145
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:45,280
Speaker 1: So Kristen, tell our listeners a little bit about your site,

146
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:49,320
Speaker 1: your blog, and how you became the Frugal Girl. I'm

147
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,480
Speaker 1: so excited to be here. I started The Frugal Girl

148
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,120
Speaker 1: back in two thousand and eight, when blogging was not

149
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 1: very common. I have been a money saving person my

150
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,440
Speaker 1: whole life, but despite all my many saving efforts, I

151
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:06,240
Speaker 1: still struggled with wasting food. And I felt kind of

152
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,520
Speaker 1: embarrassed about that, given that I'm such a frugal person.

153
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,000
Speaker 1: And one day it occurred to me, maybe I should

154
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,200
Speaker 1: tell the whole world about how much food I waste

155
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:18,680
Speaker 1: and then I might be motivated. So I started a blog,

156
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 1: but the longest you are out was Confessions of a

157
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 1: Recovering food Waste start out blogspot dot com, which is

158
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,600
Speaker 1: kind of embarrassing now. So I blogged there for a

159
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,400
Speaker 1: couple of months, and I decided I really liked this

160
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,840
Speaker 1: blogging thing, but maybe the food waste topic was a

161
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,120
Speaker 1: little bit too narrow. So I decided to start The

162
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,199
Speaker 1: Frugal Girl, and then I rolled the food waste thing

163
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,719
Speaker 1: into the Frugal Girl, and I have been writing there

164
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,280
Speaker 1: ever since. I love it. And that's so interesting because

165
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,480
Speaker 1: I've always been particularly strugg with I didn't realize that

166
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,559
Speaker 1: was the roots of the Frugal Girl. But I've always,

167
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,240
Speaker 1: as we'll talk about, appreciated the what I spent, what

168
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,760
Speaker 1: we ate, your freezer cleanouts, all of that. So that

169
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,280
Speaker 1: makes total sense that that was the root. And what

170
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,040
Speaker 1: year was this that you started blogging? That was in

171
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,120
Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, So I'm kind of a dinosaur

172
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,880
Speaker 1: in the blogging world. We are not quite as much

173
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,800
Speaker 1: as me, but almost almost very close. No, when did

174
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,000
Speaker 1: you start? I actually started my blog in two thousand

175
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,839
Speaker 1: and four and it has the most of it. Also, well,

176
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,120
Speaker 1: this is not my interview, so we won't go into details.

177
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 1: It also had an embarrassing name. Okay, So back to you.

178
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,320
Speaker 1: You started blogging and you tried it. You were at

179
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,520
Speaker 1: the time. Take us back, like what was your family

180
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,559
Speaker 1: life like, and like, how did it feel to fit

181
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,640
Speaker 1: in blogging with the rest of everything you were doing. Yeah,

182
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,880
Speaker 1: so at the time, I had four young kids. My

183
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 1: youngest was two and my oldest was probably eight. I

184
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,320
Speaker 1: was homeschooling them. I was teaching piano lessons out of

185
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 1: my house at the time, so it was kind of

186
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,960
Speaker 1: a busy time of life. But the thing about blogging

187
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,400
Speaker 1: is that it is so flexible. So I would write

188
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,960
Speaker 1: posts during my youngest child's nap times. I would write

189
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,400
Speaker 1: posts early in the morning after my husband went to work,

190
00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:04,559
Speaker 1: because it can be done in bits and snippets throughout

191
00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,080
Speaker 1: the day. It's just I have found it to be

192
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:11,679
Speaker 1: such a great job to work around my children's schedules

193
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:15,040
Speaker 1: and my husband's work schedule. It's just the flexibility is

194
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,520
Speaker 1: you can't top it. And your blog just to so

195
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,079
Speaker 1: readers know, it's definitely achieved some pretty widespread success. I

196
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,560
Speaker 1: mean the number of readers that you have as well

197
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,440
Speaker 1: is like the different paths of life that your readers

198
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,600
Speaker 1: walk along is so fascinating to me, and I imagine

199
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: that's been incredibly gratifying. Can you talk a little bit

200
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,120
Speaker 1: about some of the most popular features on your blog.

201
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,800
Speaker 1: I know I mentioned a couple of them, but you know,

202
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,120
Speaker 1: what are some of your favorite things to write about

203
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,960
Speaker 1: and the most popular things like that get the most

204
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:52,079
Speaker 1: audience response. Sure, once a week I do Frugal Things,

205
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,200
Speaker 1: which was actually inspired by my bee who blogs up

206
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,760
Speaker 1: the non consumer advocate. So I just share five things

207
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,160
Speaker 1: that I've done that week to say money, and they're

208
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,040
Speaker 1: usually not anything earthshaking, which is why I think people

209
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,760
Speaker 1: like them because they're just every day things like I

210
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,319
Speaker 1: mended something, or I got a sale on something, or

211
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,040
Speaker 1: I saved something from the trash by eating it instead

212
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,839
Speaker 1: of throwing it away, So those are very popular. Also,

213
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,120
Speaker 1: my readers share their own in the comments, and I

214
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,360
Speaker 1: think that's part of why it's popular, because people like

215
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 1: to read what other people are doing to save money.

216
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,560
Speaker 1: And it's also motivating for my readers to share what

217
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,079
Speaker 1: they've been doing because they get encouragement and feedback from

218
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,720
Speaker 1: other readers, and so the community aspect of it, I

219
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,559
Speaker 1: think is why those are so popular. That I've been

220
00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,840
Speaker 1: doing just since the start of the pandemic is on Thursdays,

221
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,840
Speaker 1: I do something called Thankful Thursdays. And I started this

222
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 1: because in the pandemic, life was just feeling hard for everybody.

223
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 1: Everybody all over the world was struggling at the same time,

224
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 1: and I felt like I needed to have a weekly

225
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,400
Speaker 1: practice of hunting for things that are good because in

226
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,080
Speaker 1: the midst of hard things, there are always mercies there's

227
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,800
Speaker 1: always good things to be found too. So I started

228
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,199
Speaker 1: writing a list every Thursday of things I could think

229
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,040
Speaker 1: to be thankful for, and I invited my readers to

230
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,560
Speaker 1: join in. And even though things have changed with the pandemic,

231
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,240
Speaker 1: I pulled my readers and they all said, please keep

232
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,240
Speaker 1: doing these I really need it. So it's been nice

233
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,839
Speaker 1: to see how other people have been working this thankfulness

234
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,280
Speaker 1: practice into their lives along with me. So it's good

235
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,480
Speaker 1: for me and it's good for my readers. And it's

236
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,760
Speaker 1: another one of those things that really encourages community. It's

237
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,440
Speaker 1: not just me writing things and people reading them. It's

238
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,719
Speaker 1: other people writing things too, and I'm reading. So I

239
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:46,880
Speaker 1: love the community aspect. And the positivity with the thankful

240
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,280
Speaker 1: Thursdays is definitely a thread that I have noticed woven

241
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,640
Speaker 1: throughout your blog in general. Do you have like a

242
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,800
Speaker 1: life philosophy? I don't know. You seem like an incredibly

243
00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,120
Speaker 1: optimistic person even when things are tough. How did you

244
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 1: come about that? Because it's really impressive, and it's just

245
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,680
Speaker 1: it's definitely like a constant when I've read you that

246
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,200
Speaker 1: stands out to me over time. I don't know when

247
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,880
Speaker 1: I started having this sort of attitude about life. My

248
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: mom would tell you when I was a little kid,

249
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,440
Speaker 1: I was fussy and crappy, which is sort of hard

250
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:27,400
Speaker 1: to believe now, But at some point something switched. I

251
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,760
Speaker 1: don't know if I can't pin it on one thing

252
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,079
Speaker 1: in particular, but for a long time I've just been

253
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,480
Speaker 1: struck by the fact that what you think about and

254
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,719
Speaker 1: what you focus on makes such a difference in how

255
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:45,120
Speaker 1: you feel. So you can choose to focus on what's negative,

256
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,400
Speaker 1: which I don't even think you have to choose to

257
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 1: focus on what's negative, right, because we really are programmed

258
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,640
Speaker 1: as humans to find the things that are negative. We

259
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 1: notice them, we notice danger, we notice things they're upsetting

260
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,560
Speaker 1: to us. So if we do nothing, that is what

261
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,760
Speaker 1: we will know, not by default. So if you want

262
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 1: to change how you view life, then you have to

263
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 1: be proactive about it, because you're not just going to

264
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 1: automatically notice the good things that are in your life.

265
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,800
Speaker 1: So I don't know why it is that I realize this,

266
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,760
Speaker 1: but I understand that you have to be intentional about

267
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,920
Speaker 1: it if you don't want to just be down in

268
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,080
Speaker 1: the dumps about all the things that are going wrong.

269
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 1: I love it, and there's definitely a connection between being

270
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: satisfied with what you have and frugality. Can you talk

271
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,440
Speaker 1: about that a little bit? Oh yes, yes, for sure.

272
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,800
Speaker 1: I think that's how I got started talking about gratefulness

273
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 1: and contentment on my blog, really as it ties in

274
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 1: to frugality, because I realize that if you cannot be

275
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,920
Speaker 1: content with what you have at the moment, even if

276
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,960
Speaker 1: it's not very much, then you will also not be

277
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 1: able to be content if your financial circumstances changed, because

278
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,760
Speaker 1: contentment is a state of your heart, it's not something

279
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,920
Speaker 1: your circumstances. Because all of us can think of people

280
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 1: who have everything in the world you can imagine wanting,

281
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 1: and they still are not happy because, as they say,

282
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 1: wherever you go, there you are. So if you have

283
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,680
Speaker 1: a discontented heart, that will be there no matter what

284
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 1: your circumstances are. But if you can cultivate contentment and gratefulness,

285
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,160
Speaker 1: then you can be just as happy on a little

286
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 1: as you can on a lot. And I think there's

287
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 1: such freedom in that because then your state of mind

288
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: is not so tied to your circumstances, and a lot

289
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 1: of times your circumstances are out of your control, so

290
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,480
Speaker 1: I figure you might as well have a contented attitude

291
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 1: about whatever is going on. I love that so much. Okay,

292
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,280
Speaker 1: even though I'm going out of order, I would like

293
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 1: you to go back and talk a little bit more

294
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,680
Speaker 1: about what I spent what we eat, because I am

295
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 1: obsessed with that column. Talk about how, like specifically, what

296
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 1: you do with that and how maybe it's informed choices

297
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 1: over the years, and then also a little bit about

298
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 1: your challenges you've done to clean out the various parts

299
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 1: of your freezer. Oh yes, So I've done menu posts

300
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 1: for most of my blogging years, but maybe all about

301
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 1: five or six years ago, I kind of switch things up,

302
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 1: so instead of posting my menu plan for the coming week,

303
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 1: I post it in reverse, so at the end of

304
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 1: the week, I post what we actually ate. The main

305
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 1: reason I did this is that I feel like menu

306
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 1: plan posts can be a little bit aspirational, Like it's

307
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,240
Speaker 1: easy to write down all these lofty goals for what

308
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 1: you're going to cook and what your family's going to eat,

309
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 1: but sometimes those plans go awry, and so I thought

310
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 1: it would be helpful for people to see what actually happens,

311
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 1: because I could write down, you know, we're going to

312
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: eat a salad every night, where something virtuous like that,

313
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 1: and it might not happen, or it's easy for me

314
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 1: to plan to cook every night, but then sometimes we

315
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 1: end up getting takeout. And so I felt like it

316
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,400
Speaker 1: serves people better if I am more honest about what's

317
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,879
Speaker 1: going on rather than posting something sort of pie in

318
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,679
Speaker 1: the sky and aspirational. I think it's super useful, and

319
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,080
Speaker 1: it's interesting to see how trends change, like when your

320
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,720
Speaker 1: kids have had more activities and they're doing more social things,

321
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 1: and how those natural, you know, variations are going to

322
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 1: change how a family dinner might look. So that's really cool.

323
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,959
Speaker 1: And then what about your freezer clean out? And I

324
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 1: think we will have to link to when you did this,

325
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,680
Speaker 1: because I found this such a fascinating concept. I've never

326
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,560
Speaker 1: tried to do it myself. I would really like to

327
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 1: do it, and you did it like with style, I

328
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 1: guess I tried. Yeah, so freezers can be really helpful

329
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 1: when you're trying to fight food waste, but if you're

330
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:48,240
Speaker 1: not careful about managing your freezer, then the freezer can

331
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 1: just be a pit stop on the way to the trash.

332
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 1: You can throw things in there and then forget about

333
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 1: them until they really are trash. So I have a

334
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 1: chest freezer, which I adore, but things can get kind

335
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 1: of lost in there, and I wanted to defrost it

336
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. So I decided we were

337
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,640
Speaker 1: just going to eat everything in the freezer. But that's

338
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 1: too overwhelming to do all at once. So I would

339
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 1: take just one section of the freezer per week, and

340
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 1: then I would take a picture of the things that

341
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,200
Speaker 1: were there, and then over the week I would try

342
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,879
Speaker 1: to incorporate those things into my meals, and then at

343
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 1: the end of the week, I would report and say, okay,

344
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 1: I use these five things, and then I've got a

345
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 1: couple more left here, and over enough weeks I did

346
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 1: eventually empty out my whole freezer. It was a big

347
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 1: accomplishment when that finally happened. I mean, it was impressive

348
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,439
Speaker 1: because you had some exotic things and they're like, I

349
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,479
Speaker 1: don't even remember that many specifics, although I do think

350
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: you made a lot of butternut squash rolls, but yeah,

351
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,960
Speaker 1: you were like, all right, I have a million sprinkles,

352
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 1: Well we're going to make a cookie decorating day, and like,

353
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 1: you know, you found like that one thing that you

354
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 1: could possibly do with it, and You're like, you know what,

355
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: we might eat a little repetitively this week, but the

356
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 1: freezer is going to get empty. And I just thought

357
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 1: that was so such a different way of looking at things,

358
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,439
Speaker 1: and I don't know, I loved it. Sometimes people do

359
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: freezer challenges and they make a rule that they can't

360
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 1: buy anything else until they use up the things in

361
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 1: the freezer, and I just think there's no reason to

362
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: torture yourself that way. So whenever I do fridge or

363
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 1: freezer clean outs, I give myself permission to buy whatever

364
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 1: I need to make the freezer contents into a palatable meal, Like,

365
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,399
Speaker 1: there's no point in suffering unnecessarily. Yeah, that seems like

366
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: a little bit beyond what I would be up for,

367
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: So that makes sense. Okay, we are going to take

368
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: a quick ad break and we will be right back. Okay,

369
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: we are back. So I want to pivot a little

370
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 1: bit and talk a little bit about homeschooling. So that's

371
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: something I'm interested in. You know, how you made the

372
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: choice to do that, and also how it's really changed

373
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 1: over the years from having really really young kids did

374
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 1: then much older kids in like high school and college

375
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 1: level classes. Yeah, I actually was homeschooled myself back in

376
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: the eighties when homeschooling was super weird, so I knew

377
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 1: that I wanted to homeschool my kids from the start.

378
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: So it really wasn't a very hard decision for me.

379
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 1: And because I was homeschooled myself, I had such a

380
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 1: good idea of how things work in the homeschool world.

381
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: It wasn't as overwhelming a decision as I think it

382
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 1: is for first generation homeschoolers. So yeah, when I first

383
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 1: started blogging, I had a couple of kids that were

384
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 1: school age, and then for a lot of my blog

385
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 1: I have had all four kids that I was homeschooling

386
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: at one time, So that was that was pretty intense

387
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: for a couple of years there. But you know, everything

388
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 1: comes to an end. I have my older who are

389
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: graduated now, and then Sonya, my eighteen year old, she

390
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: will graduate this spring, and then Zoe, my youngest, she

391
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: will graduate next spring. So I've been homeschooling since two

392
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: thousand and that stage of my life is coming to

393
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 1: an end now. Wow, And it must be incredibly different

394
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: now than it was, let's say, ten years ago. Does

395
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 1: it take up a lot less of your time and involvement.

396
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 1: Is it more on autopilot or is there still a

397
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: lot that you feel like you have to manage actively? Oh? Yeah,

398
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 1: for sure. The younger years of homeschooling are a much

399
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 1: more intense time, especially if you have a couple of

400
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: kids who don't know how to read yet, because then

401
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: they really can't work independently. So yes, much more labor

402
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: intensive when they are younger. Once they know how to

403
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: read and they can do some more independent work, then

404
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: the work for me became so much less. So their

405
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 1: subjects have gotten harder as they've gotten older, Like correcting

406
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 1: kindergarten or first grade math is not as hard as

407
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: correcting algebra two lessons, but still it's less hands on time.

408
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say in a lot of ways,

409
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: it does get easier as they get older. Okay, well,

410
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: that's good to know. You just made the decision to

411
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: go back to school yourself, and I can imagine only

412
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 1: having your kids being a bit older allowed you to

413
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: have the bandwidth. So can you talk a little bit

414
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: about that choice, like what motivated you, what it's been

415
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 1: like to make that big pivot a little bit later

416
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: in life. And most people are used to being students yeah,

417
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: I definitely would not have been able to do this

418
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: when all four of my kids were great school age.

419
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: There would not have been space for me to be

420
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 1: a student too. So I got married young and I

421
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: had my kids young, and one day I realized, I'm

422
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: only going to be forty five when my youngest kid

423
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: graduates from high school. And I had always thought, oh,

424
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: if I had a second lifetime, it would be fun

425
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 1: to be a laboring delivery nurse, because I felt so

426
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: blessed by the laboring delivery nurses when I had my kids,

427
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: And when I realized, wait, I am kind of going

428
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: to have a second life after my youngest graduates from

429
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: high school. Usually there's a lot of life left after

430
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: your forty five. And two thousand and nine, my sister

431
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: in law had a stillbirth and I was there to

432
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 1: help her to take pictures, and I helped her through

433
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: her labor and delivery, and that really made me start

434
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: to think, you know, if I could do this for

435
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: a family member, I probably could do this for other

436
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: people too. So that's my drive. I would like to

437
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 1: become a nurse and use the time that I have

438
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,479
Speaker 1: after my nest empties to be able to do something

439
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 1: that's meaningful in the world. So right now, I'm just

440
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: doing prerequisites and I'll join the nursing program after my

441
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 1: youngest graduates from high school. You say, just doing the prerequisites,

442
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 1: but you should not have a just in there, because

443
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: I am watching what you're doing and it looks like

444
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 1: a lot like you are a forty something year old

445
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: person taking anatomy and like chemistry and all that. What

446
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: has it been like to do that? And do you

447
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: think that the fact that you homeschooled has helped because

448
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 1: you still have familiarity on certain subjects that you otherwise

449
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 1: would have left behind decades ago. What's a little nervous

450
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: going back because I hadn't been in college since nineteen

451
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: ninety seven, and when I went back to school, almost

452
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: all of my classmates are young people like I could

453
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 1: be their mom. They're the ages of my kids. And

454
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: at first I kind of wondered, am I too old

455
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: to remember all of these things? But it's been okay.

456
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 1: I'm keeping up with my younger classmates. The first class

457
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: I took, Sonia and I actually took biology together. She said, well,

458
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: we should take a class together, So we did biology

459
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: and I'm working through anatomy and physiology. So I'm so

460
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: thankful that my forty something year old brain is able

461
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: to keep up with all my young classmates. I think,

462
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: you know, maybe my memory is not as good as

463
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: it was when I was twenty years old, but I

464
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: think that there are some advantages to being an older student,

465
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 1: like that I know myself better and I know how

466
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 1: I learn better. My prefrontal cortex is fully developed, so

467
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: I can probably make some better decisions about time management

468
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: and study techniques and such. So yeah, overall, I would

469
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 1: say it's been a very good experience. Plus I'm choosing

470
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 1: to be there. I think sometimes when you go to

471
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: college right after high school, you're just like, well, this

472
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: is the next chapter of life, and now I will

473
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 1: go to college and then I will get a job.

474
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: But for me, I'm doing this because I really want

475
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: to and because I made this career decision when I

476
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: was older. It's a really I'm doing it out of

477
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: a desire. This is something that I'm really interested, something

478
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: I really want to do, so I'm motivated. I think

479
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: that is so cool. It does not surprise me at

480
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 1: all that you're forty something year old Breen because is

481
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: doing well. Because Yeah, it's so interesting. We might have

482
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: like certain differences in like working memory or like reaction time,

483
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: but we're so much wiser. We are going to figure

484
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 1: out so many more creative workarounds. We have different experiences.

485
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: You as a homeschool teacher know all about like different

486
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: ways of learning and can apply that knowledge. And what

487
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: you said about the prefrontal cortex is so true. I

488
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: even think back to like med school and I'm like, hmm,

489
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: I wonder if I could do it better now? Probably,

490
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: I mean, who knows. Maybe, Yeah, that's super super interesting.

491
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: I will say I had I had some like co

492
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: students and who were older, and they usually did amazing.

493
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: They were usually like the best students because they were

494
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: the most serious, the most single minded, and I think

495
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: there's like a wiseness that comes out of it. Oh,

496
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: I know what I was going to share. I heard

497
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 1: a Freakonomics MD episode recently that talked about how, now

498
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: this was specific to doctors, not nurses specifically, but they

499
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: measured performance in terms of like patient outcomes by age,

500
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: and they were surprised. They were expecting it to kind

501
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: of be like, I don't know, like a like an

502
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: upside on U shaped curve where you have some peak

503
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: maybe mid career, and then it falls. They actually found

504
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,479
Speaker 1: that the doctor's performances improved like almost literally until they

505
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: were almost like seventy and then they did decline a bit.

506
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: But like, wow, we have the capacity to learn and grow,

507
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: probably a lot farther into our lifespans than we maybe

508
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: gave our ourselves credit for. And there's something you said

509
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: for experience, which you absolutely have more than some of

510
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: your twenty year old classmates. So I think, yes, so

511
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: cool that you did that. I do wonder if the

512
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: homeschooling has helped me, because I've been swimming in education

513
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: since two thousand and four, and so you know, I'm

514
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: completely not overwhelmed by like the math that we have

515
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: to do in our classes, and some of my fellow

516
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 1: classmates are feeling a little overwhelmed by it. But you know,

517
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: I've been not just a student of math, but I've

518
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: been teaching math all of these years, and so I

519
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 1: feel like I can handle whatever they throw my way.

520
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I mean

521
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: most I haven't looked at those when I'm already shocked.

522
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: Like my oldest child is in fourth grade, I'm like

523
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: awaiting the year when I'm having trouble helping her with

524
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: homework and I feel like it's sooner than I want

525
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: to admit to myself. But since you would have done

526
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: it the whole way, there was never that moment because

527
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: you're like, well, I'm still doing this and it's still

528
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: working out. So yes, exactly, if I had to jump

529
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: in in algebra two out of the blue, that would

530
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: have been a problem. But I started with my kids

531
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 1: in kindergarten then I've just been gradual ever since. So yeah,

532
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: that's much easier than trying to jump in at a

533
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 1: later date. So I guess the lesson to those of

534
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: us who aren't homeschooling is keep involved in your kids homework.

535
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: Don't expect to just jump in tenth grade or you're

536
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: really going to have trouble. Make sure you kind of

537
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 1: know what they're doing in third grade, and just for

538
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: sure follow the pathway a little bit. Oh that's so interesting.

539
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: So going back to school as an adult has worked

540
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: out for you, How do you are you able to

541
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 1: balance it well with your parenting at homeschooling and blogging? Now?

542
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: Are are there new challenges with having all these plates

543
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: in the air to some degree. Yes, what I find

544
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 1: about parenting older kids, especially girls, maybe it's true if

545
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: you have a bunch of boys, maybe not. But a

546
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: lot of the parenting that you do is listening, listening

547
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: to their troubles, empathizing, being there for them. And that's

548
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: something that can be done at many different times of

549
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: the day, in many different ways. And so it's a

550
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: little bit more flexible type of parenting than it is

551
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: when they're three years old and they need you for

552
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: specific things at specific times, and so yeah, I feel

553
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: like I am still able to be there and listen

554
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: and help them do their troubles. My twenty one year old,

555
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: she has me listed in her phone as mom Help,

556
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: like that's what my name is in her phone. So

557
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,479
Speaker 1: I'm assuming she feels like I will be there for

558
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: her when she needs some help with something. And since

559
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: they're older, you know, they are more self sufficient, and

560
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: they all think it's awesome that I'm going back to school. Yes, mom,

561
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: go get it. We're so proud of you. And sometimes

562
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: they help me with my flash cards for things. And

563
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: because schooling is somewhat flexible too, because I mean, obviously

564
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: I can't be there for them when I'm in class,

565
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: but doing homework is flexible, and blogging is flexible, so

566
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: I can drop what I'm doing if one of them

567
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: is having a crisis with their friends or something, and

568
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: I can help them work through it and then do

569
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: my work some other times. So I'm very lucky that

570
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: the work that I do is so flexible. And it's

571
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: partly flexible, probably because you manage it well, because if

572
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 1: you left things to the last minute, they would become

573
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: far less flexible. But you, as a parent know that

574
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: you have to build in that buffer because you can't

575
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: be like, well, clearly, I'll have time to do this

576
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: Wednesday night, because some kid might have some need at

577
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: that time. So I think, yes, I think you're give

578
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: yourself credit. You're probably creating your flexibility to some extent. Yes,

579
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: And when you have older kids, some of the time

580
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: you spend taking care of them is like taking them

581
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: to appointment and then waiting for them while they're there,

582
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: taking them to an activity and waiting for them while

583
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: they're there. And so because blogging or homework can be

584
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: done flexibly, I just make sure I use those bits

585
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: of time for something. So we had to go to

586
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: a class the other day, and I have three hours

587
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: to kill, so I just went to Panera and I

588
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: brought my school books with me and I did a

589
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: whole bunch of craaming for my exam that way. So

590
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: I think there's always, at least in my life so far,

591
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 1: there's always been little bits of time that I can

592
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: take advantage ob if I know what I need to do.

593
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: And in frugal Girl fashion, you used up a gift

594
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: card that have been languishing in I'm a loyal reader.

595
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: I love that. I was like, oh, a dollar thirty seven.

596
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: Good job. That's a very good deal for three and

597
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: a half hours of study time. I figured, yes, I

598
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,959
Speaker 1: love that. Well. We always share a love of the

599
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: week on our podcast, and it can be absolutely anything.

600
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,719
Speaker 1: It can be a concrete thing, a book, a movie,

601
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: the type of weather, it can be anything. And I

602
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: will give you a minute to think of yours while

603
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 1: I share mine, which is going to be very basic

604
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: and silly. But I'm very obsessed with Spindrift right now.

605
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 1: Like I just found out that Costco sells it in

606
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: very large boxes and apparently they go on sale, and

607
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: that would probably be more ru and buying it at

608
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: full price at Costco but it's still better than buying

609
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: it somewhere else, for you're only getting a few of them,

610
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: and I just love it. It's better to me than

611
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: like Lacroix, which is my old love. It just tastes

612
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: more like a treat, but it only has one gram

613
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: of carbohydrate and four calories from lime juice, so it's awesome.

614
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: I love it. I have never tried spin drift. I've

615
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,719
Speaker 1: tried the oldie version and I've had some of the

616
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: La Croix ones, but I've never tried spin drifts. So

617
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: maybe I will need to say that my love of

618
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: the week that is probably going for walks in the woods.

619
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 1: There's some trails near here that I was just discovered

620
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: in the woods, and I love going out there in

621
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: the mornings and exploring seeing the green come out because

622
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: it's springtime now, and to seeing how the woods change

623
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: every week. It's really great. And I don't know. I

624
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that I'm hardcore introvert, but there definitely is

625
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: a part of me that likes my quiet time, and

626
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: I love mornings and I like being outside. So an

627
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: early morning walk by myself in the woods it just

628
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: really HiT's a lot of my favorite things all in one.

629
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 1: I love it, and you share pictures sometimes and it

630
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 1: does look very peaceful. And I personally enjoy seeing all

631
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: the different seasons because I don't get to experience them,

632
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: so I can get them vicariously through your site. Oh yes, yes,

633
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 1: that's true. I do love this switch of seasons that

634
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: we have here in the mid Atlantic. Just about the

635
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: time you think you can't take one more day of

636
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: hot weather, then it's cool, and just about the time

637
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: you think you can't take one more great cold winter day,

638
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: it starts to be spring. So yeah, I love the

639
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: switch of things here. Oh it sounds so lovely. I

640
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: kind of miss it. Well, tell our listeners where they

641
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: can find you and read all about your adventures, as

642
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: I and Laura I believe, have been doing for many years. Yes,

643
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: so the main place you can find me is at

644
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: my blog, which is called the Frugal Girl, and I'm

645
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: also on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, and in all

646
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: of those places I am just the Frugal Girl, so

647
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm really easy to find. You did really well shortening

648
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: your URL from the really long one. You must have

649
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 1: been quick to get the Frugal Girl, So that's awesome

650
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: that you did that well. There wasn't much competition for

651
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: URLs back then, so I don't even remember the process

652
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 1: of coming up with the name for my blog. I

653
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: don't think I thought about it for very long. But

654
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 1: it was better than my first effort, for sure. I

655
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: love it. Well, Thank you so much for coming on, Kristin.

656
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: This was so much fun. Thank you so much for

657
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: having me. All Right, we are back. That was such

658
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 1: a lovely conversation. I want to hang out with Kristin

659
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: again in real life maybe. So we are back with

660
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,240
Speaker 1: an interesting question. Oh my gosh, it's a long question.

661
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: Do you want to try to summarize or do you

662
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: want me to? You can go for it. You're a

663
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: good summarizer. Okay, I'll try to summarize. So this listener

664
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 1: says that she was sharing a conundrum with her husband,

665
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: who said, you should really ask Laura Vandercam. So here

666
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: we are. I think she wants to ask Sarah too,

667
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 1: because that's why it's coming in down the blog. But

668
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: after having her first child, she went back to work.

669
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: She found both of us and she thought it was

670
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: empowering and incur urging her travel heavy job. It wasn't

671
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: something she wanted to do so much travel, but she

672
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 1: negotiated her way out of that and still got a promotion.

673
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 1: She continued all of her extracurriculars like exercise, volunteering at church,

674
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: book club, lots of quality time with her kids, so

675
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: she was, you know, very much, we can have the

676
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: best of both worlds. Fast forward a few years. She

677
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: welcomed a second child in October. She just went back

678
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: to work this spring and is struggling a lot. The

679
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 1: first week she thought for sure she would quit. It

680
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: got a little better, but now she's accepting that she

681
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: is in survival mode, and she says, can I still

682
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: have it all with two sweet boys instead of one?

683
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 1: And bringing this up to my therapist, she says, in

684
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: a hushed tone from the pump room. The other day,

685
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: she's explaining that she really doesn't want to be home

686
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 1: full time, but the therapist said so matter of factly

687
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: that maybe she can't have it all, and she used

688
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: the word heartbreaking. Our listener has been thinking so much

689
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 1: about accepting she can't have it all anymore. In some ways,

690
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: it's liberating, perhaps so, but it also feels defeatist. So

691
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 1: she says, I don't know what to do. The margins

692
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: of my days with kids feel too small to squeeze

693
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: in quality time, especially when I'm breastfeeding. I haven't jogged

694
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 1: in weeks. I can't go to the gym at lunch anymore.

695
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm too tired to read. I'm logging into work after

696
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: the kids go down, can't catch up with sleep with

697
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 1: the baby oup half the night. So do I try

698
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: to do I just throw in the towel, or what

699
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: do I do? So hard? This is a very hard

700
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,399
Speaker 1: stage for you. I'm sort of annoyed that. I think

701
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,439
Speaker 1: both of us are a little sad that she made

702
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 1: such a prescriptive almost statement. I yeah, therapist, Yes, the therapist.

703
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: I mean, even though she didn't tell you what to do,

704
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: she was kind of like, well, your dream may not

705
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 1: be possible, which I mean, to some extent is certainly true.

706
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: There is no what is all of it anyway? Right?

707
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:53,479
Speaker 1: Like you can't do fifteen sports and also stay home

708
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: and homeschool your children and also work as a corporate lawyer,

709
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 1: and also you know what I mean, there is a limit.

710
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 1: We had Oliver Berkman just a couple weeks ago, and

711
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: there are only four thousand weeks in your year in

712
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: which in your life, which to which yeah, that'd be good,

713
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: and which to do these things. So it's true, I mean,

714
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: we can't do everything, but you know, it all has

715
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 1: taken on a different meaning in our society these days.

716
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: So for her to say that, to some extent, I

717
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 1: feel like what she was saying is, well, you can't

718
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: enjoy a happy life and work and have babies. Or

719
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: maybe that's just how I'm interpreting it and how you

720
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: interpreted it. And to that, I say, this is a phase.

721
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: This is a really hard time. The pumping months are,

722
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: in my opinion, some of the very hardest parts of

723
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: working motherhood, the worst parts. And just because things are very,

724
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,720
Speaker 1: very difficult to balance right now doesn't mean quote unquote

725
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: the towel needs to be through. I mean you mentioned that.

726
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: It might mean that you want to figure out some

727
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: temporary you know, there's no one right way. Perhaps you

728
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 1: do want to see if you can dial it down

729
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 1: a certain percentage for the next few months, just because

730
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 1: you're struggling so much and you are not getting asleep,

731
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: Perhaps you could hire more help with the baby, like

732
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: whether it's somebody to stay overnight with them, or you know,

733
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: to get a little bit more free time because you

734
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: mentioned not being able to work out, and I know

735
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: that can affect my mental health, so figuring out how

736
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: to fit that in could be important. And you know

737
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: you can certainly trouble shoot these things, but nothing has

738
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: to be all or nothing. And you also don't need

739
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: to make decisions now in this incredibly tough time about

740
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 1: like what you want work to look like as a

741
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: parent for the rest of your life, because it's going

742
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: to look so so so different in like just a

743
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 1: few years, I mean even months, because you said even

744
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: eight month olds, you may not be pumping in four months.

745
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: So I guess I would just give you some encouragement that, like,

746
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: you can allow some fluidity, but to really try to

747
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: let go of the all or nothing thinking and the

748
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: concept of it all in the first place, because it's

749
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: kind of a silly trope to be Yeah, I mean,

750
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: I would respectfully tell the therapist that this person should

751
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: know better than to make broad pronouncements like that. I mean,

752
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: the first months back at work are hard. Babies are hard,

753
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: especially if they are not only children. But you know

754
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: that's true for say it home moms too. It's not

755
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: like it's easy for them and One of my pocket

756
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: phrases is don't draw too broad a conclusion, And I

757
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: think that is especially true with rough patches like pumping

758
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 1: and being back at work. You don't have to decide

759
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,720
Speaker 1: that no one can have it all. Like that doesn't

760
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 1: have to be your decision, Like you don't have to

761
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,959
Speaker 1: look at all these points of evidence and decide ergo,

762
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: no one can have it all. What you can decide

763
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: is that the next few months are not going to

764
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 1: be the easiest of your life. I think that's a

765
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: conclusion you could draw. But that's not an overly broad conclusion.

766
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: That's just saying, up, the next few months not gonna

767
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 1: be that easy interesting, Okay, But you know, guess what,

768
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: I have a great career and a beautiful growing family

769
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: and things will get more sustainable soon. Pumping takes a

770
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: lot of time, so it might help to simply look

771
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: at what is doable now with that commitment you are making.

772
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: And so, no, maybe you're not running every day on

773
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: your lunch break, So what can you find three times

774
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: during the week to exercise. I maintain anything that happens

775
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: three times a week is a habit. So maybe you

776
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,359
Speaker 1: run on each of the weekend days and do one

777
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,240
Speaker 1: thing during the week, like evening or one day before

778
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: work or one lunch. You know, you pump a little less.

779
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what do you want to do, but

780
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: you know, just you could. You could do that, and

781
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: then you're you're still exercising. Read for five minutes in

782
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: a time on your kindle app while you're pumping or nursing.

783
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,919
Speaker 1: If you get through fifteen minutes of reading a day,

784
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 1: that way great. Like, you know, that's exciting. I know

785
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: from my own personal experience. When my youngest turns two,

786
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: that time just takes on a new dimension because there's

787
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: more space for for things like reading. I think she

788
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 1: also needs to not get herself worked up on the

789
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: spending one on one time quality time with each of

790
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: the kids. Like the baby doesn't care the baby as

791
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: long as you're like keeping them comfortable and fed, that's great.

792
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: Your older child is probably a little bit more aware

793
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 1: of it. But then that's a great opportunity for you

794
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: to hand the baby over to someone else, be that

795
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: your you know, your husband, friend, your you know caregiver,

796
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: your parents, whatever, anyone who can help you, and then

797
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: spend just a little bit of time with your older child.

798
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: You know it doesn't have to be long, but like,

799
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 1: you know, we're going to read a book together for

800
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 1: ten minutes, or we'll build something with legos for ten minutes,

801
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 1: and just entering the world for their little bit can

802
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: make it a lot smoother. So you know, I said,

803
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's doing a great job. If you wouldn't

804
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 1: like staying home, then don't make a decision to do

805
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 1: that when everything is at its hardest. And hey, you know,

806
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 1: maybe each kid has a little less time with mom,

807
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 1: but they'll be buddies with each other. That's certainly how

808
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: I feel with five kids. I hope sometimes they're more

809
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 1: buddies than others, but hopefully that will be better as

810
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: they get older. And I'm oh, she wrote back. She

811
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: wrote back, Yes, yes, I was just going to say

812
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,240
Speaker 1: one more thing, which because she mentioned exercise, and because

813
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: she's eight months in right or maybe six I think

814
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: she had a five months maternity leave and then it's

815
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 1: like one months back in. Okay. I mean, unless you

816
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: really really need exercise from a mental health standpoint, it

817
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: might be freeing for you to just be like I

818
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: will start exercising when I stop pumping, because that these

819
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: occupy the same chunk of time and you are going

820
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: to substitute it for the other. Yeah, exactly, and nothing

821
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: will be You know, this is me who, like I

822
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: would have had a hard time accepting that, but like

823
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: myself now is like, oh my god, that would have

824
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: been a smart idea because you could get more sleep

825
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 1: and like you can get your fitness back later. And

826
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: as I've told myself previously, like you're not training for

827
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: the Olympics anyway, so like, who cares. So I'll just

828
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: throw that out there. I'm giving you permission to be

829
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 1: lazy from an exercise standpoint for the next six months. Yeah.

830
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: And she wrote back, and she said she liked that

831
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,240
Speaker 1: pocket phrase of don't draw too broad a conclusion, refanming

832
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: that she might not feel in balance in this season,

833
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: but that this season won't last forever. Feels obvious, but

834
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: also felt out of reach. She said, per your email,

835
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 1: I ran both weekend days, so that's great. So she

836
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: got in some exercise and is trying something out where

837
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: she reads for twenty minutes after the kids go down

838
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 1: before she does anything else, like so before she gets

839
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: too tired to read, so that she's getting that in.

840
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: She says that packing lunches or work emails or hanging

841
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 1: out with her husband can happen after she clocks that

842
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: twenty minutes of me time. So that's great. I love

843
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,760
Speaker 1: that she's doing that. And she also I had mentioned

844
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 1: that she felt like she wasn't spending enough time with

845
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 1: her kids, and I said, you just spent five months

846
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: round the clock with your kids. I forgot that. I

847
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: mentioned that in my response, and she said, you're right.

848
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: I clocked in a ridiculous amount of time with both

849
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: kiddos over the maternity leave. So let's give ourselves some

850
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: credit for that. If that now feels a little bit

851
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: more stretched. You were also just sort of paying into

852
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: that account quite a bit over the past six months

853
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: or so. So she liked that, and that's great. I'm

854
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: glad that that was helpful to her. So anyone else

855
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: in that rough patch of life shout out to you

856
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 1: going through it, recognized that it is tough. It is

857
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: very tough to be back at work, especially after subsequent children,

858
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 1: as you're dealing with the older ones as well. But

859
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: it will get better, it will get easier, and it's

860
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: good not to make too broad a conclusion when maybe

861
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: you just need to get through the next few months

862
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: and figure out what you can do to make life sustainable. Well,

863
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. Sarah interviewed Kristen

864
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 1: of The Frugal Girl. That was a great interview. We

865
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: will be back next week with more on making work

866
00:43:56,200 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find

867
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 1: me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the

868
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura

869
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best

870
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 1: of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for

871
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: more on making work and life work together.