Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everybody, and welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode of Help I Suck A Dating.
Speaker 1: My name is Jared, have been Dean is away this weekend.
Speaker 1: He's in Japan. He's traveling all around the world pretty much.
Speaker 1: Um and Vanessa will be joining us a little bit later.
Speaker 1: But right now, we have two very special guests in
Speaker 1: studio from ABC's The Proposal. We have the newly engaged
Speaker 1: couple Lisa Ray and Anthony. Thank you, of course, thank you.
Speaker 1: So everything everything's kind of been happening so fast. This
Speaker 1: is all It aired last night, and so was this
Speaker 1: the first time that you guys saw every the episode
Speaker 1: since everything went down here? Yeah? Yeah, you know that's
Speaker 1: always exciting. It's like, let me see what they're gonna
Speaker 1: do with this episode. How are they going to edit it?
Speaker 1: How are they going to cramp everything into one hour
Speaker 1: and to get everyone involved and excited like we are?
Speaker 1: So how long did the actual did filming actually take
Speaker 1: like six hours? Okay, so I was there for I
Speaker 1: was in the audience for the first episode, which was
Speaker 1: I cannot remember her name, but she was the country
Speaker 1: singer and so that took That was a long day.
Speaker 1: So I can only the first one, I'm sure. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so said about seven eight hours, but you guys are
Speaker 1: six hours, so you guys are right behind there. That's
Speaker 1: it's a pretty good time. Um. So Lisa Ray, tell
Speaker 1: me about tell me about yourself. So, like, how did
Speaker 1: this even come about you coming on the show? First?
Speaker 1: Let me say this, I love the name of this show.
Speaker 1: So you know I was right there on you know,
Speaker 1: right there on the head um, no point intended, but yeah,
Speaker 1: looking for love. You know, I've been looking for love
Speaker 1: for years and been single for years and really trying
Speaker 1: to to be committed into some type of relationship, whether
Speaker 1: it was the beginning of a friendship or the beginning
Speaker 1: of a love affair or even just a buddy that
Speaker 1: you see every now and then. It was like nothing's happening.
Speaker 1: And I was dating, and you know, I was going
Speaker 1: on dating sites and online dating and man shop, being absent,
Speaker 1: Cupid and friends and happy hours, and it was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: clearly it's not happening, no time soon. And you know,
Speaker 1: people have all those cliche sayings of you know, you
Speaker 1: never look for the man. Let God bring your man
Speaker 1: to you. And it's like, yeah, God's not listening, He's
Speaker 1: answering other things. And I'm blessed in other you know,
Speaker 1: errors in my life. And I'm sure he has the plan.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to keep up and been aligned me
Speaker 1: with that. But I was like, I'm lonely. I'm lonely,
Speaker 1: and so can I have a companion? Can I start
Speaker 1: dating my husband now? Can I start getting to know
Speaker 1: him now? You know? And and they said they we
Speaker 1: have a new show and do you want to do it?
Speaker 1: And it was like, what do I sign up? It's
Speaker 1: crazy enough to be good? Where where? Right here? And
Speaker 1: I signed them the diet line. Oh that's awesome, right well,
Speaker 1: why not? You know, like life only gives you so
Speaker 1: many doors to open, you should open every single one
Speaker 1: of them and take every opportunity you can possibly get.
Speaker 1: And I believe that because you know, who's to say
Speaker 1: that love at first sight doesn't happen or can't happen
Speaker 1: to you? You know, I mean, I'm a fan of love,
Speaker 1: and so you know, let's get out there. You know,
Speaker 1: no matter how you meet them, you can meet someone
Speaker 1: at the club or the bar and not know anything
Speaker 1: about them. You don't. You don't know anything about anybody
Speaker 1: until you get together and start a relationship and start
Speaker 1: you know, getting to you know, ask questions about each other.
Speaker 1: You know, what's your religion and what do you feel
Speaker 1: about politics? And you know, do you think Trump sucks
Speaker 1: like I do? And you know all those things, you know, brunting. So, Anthony,
Speaker 1: how did you get on the show? How this all
Speaker 1: start for you? Well? I had a friend take me
Speaker 1: to a happy hour and got me a little sauce
Speaker 1: stuff and the next thing I know, I am online
Speaker 1: filling out an application for the show. So he had
Speaker 1: a friend actually who's the producer of the show, and
Speaker 1: they were looking for people and they thought I would
Speaker 1: be a good candidate. So and so, what you're like
Speaker 1: friends and family think when you were like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go on a very supportive you know, every everything.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess everybody's thinking that they're going
Speaker 1: to write my cotails to Hollywood somehow, everybody. I'm sure
Speaker 1: your phone has been blowing up the last twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: So I remember those days when your first your first
Speaker 1: name gets released. You're a TV. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you hear from people ten years ago and they're like,
Speaker 1: why didn't you tell me you're on the show. Well,
Speaker 1: we haven't talked to each other in about ten years.
Speaker 1: So that's why. That's what we were talking about last night,
Speaker 1: Like just friends that you would have known if we
Speaker 1: would have been talking. But now you want to call me,
Speaker 1: and now you want to know you know, so what's
Speaker 1: on TV? Like everyone else? So what is your friends
Speaker 1: and family have said since everything's happened? What do they
Speaker 1: think of everything? Why didn't we didn't tell them? My
Speaker 1: people have been very supportively, Yeah, and so that's amazing here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's always good to have a good like support system
Speaker 1: surrounding you. You know, that's the most important thing. And
Speaker 1: even like when I went on UM so, I was
Speaker 1: on The Bachelorette and um which is also ABC, and
Speaker 1: so it was the same thing where you know, I
Speaker 1: have to talk to my parents and like, um so,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this show that you've probably heard of.
Speaker 1: And it's always nice to have people who say, hey, well,
Speaker 1: no matter what happens, we're gonna have your back. And
Speaker 1: so that we're living in an untraditional time now, you know,
Speaker 1: and so you know, with so many people having profiles
Speaker 1: on Instagram that wants to be Insta famous and you
Speaker 1: know Twitter and everything. You know, people are really you know,
Speaker 1: like like Tinder and like you know, a matchmaker, and
Speaker 1: you have all these different opportunities out there, and it's like,
Speaker 1: well why not because there's others that I know that
Speaker 1: it's made it work. So then there's hope, like okay,
Speaker 1: well they're to be different and dream you know, And
Speaker 1: that's what life is about. This is this one big
Speaker 1: fairy tale that you're just living life. Of course, I
Speaker 1: mean it's a very cliche line now, but Michael Jordan
Speaker 1: one said, you miss a pent of the shots that
Speaker 1: you don't take, um, And that's true about life. You know,
Speaker 1: everything you I I don't want to live with regret.
Speaker 1: So if that means doing everything I have to, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do it and wishing it. You would have,
Speaker 1: could have, should have, but you didn't exactly. There's nothing
Speaker 1: worse than looking back and saying, what if I did that?
Speaker 1: Why didn't I do that? You know? And um, all right,
Speaker 1: so when did you know Anthony was the one? Um?
Speaker 1: Maybe two minutes before the show was over, and yeah,
Speaker 1: because I was actually you know, uh, you know it
Speaker 1: was the the last two you know, choices, and it
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you picked this guy because of these reasons,
Speaker 1: and you picked this guy because of those reasons, But
Speaker 1: which are the balance of the two? You know, which
Speaker 1: one are you really going to go for? You know,
Speaker 1: do you go for? You know the things that you
Speaker 1: wrote down and maybe the things you think that you
Speaker 1: don't see in that person because you don't know what's
Speaker 1: there yet, you know, I mean, you have to take
Speaker 1: a chance on both. But you know who do you
Speaker 1: see yourself really compatible with or standing next to and
Speaker 1: feeling like we can take a great picture together, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I think that way, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I think like you know how
Speaker 1: you're going to compliment me just as well as how
Speaker 1: I can compliment you in your life and you know, emotionally, physically, financially,
Speaker 1: every kind of way, you know what I mean. You
Speaker 1: think that especially when you get a little older. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not a spring chicken. You know, I've been around
Speaker 1: the block. So I'm not pretending like I haven't done
Speaker 1: this before, because both he and our divorces we've been
Speaker 1: did this before, you know, And so now you learn
Speaker 1: from those mistakes and you learn from the things that
Speaker 1: you want to take with you from the marriage that
Speaker 1: you had previously into your new relationship, you know. And
Speaker 1: so I know what I'm looking for, I know what
Speaker 1: I want, and I'm sure that you know you had
Speaker 1: your your list of things and qualities that you are
Speaker 1: looking for in your spouse, you know, And so then
Speaker 1: you cross those things out and the things that don't work,
Speaker 1: and that's a deal. Record then we'll deal with those
Speaker 1: and things that we feel like, hey, you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't know that you needed that, and I don't know
Speaker 1: how to do that, but I'm willing to do it,
Speaker 1: and you kind of move forward on the journey. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: So Anthony, what what when did you know that you
Speaker 1: we're gonna propose? Like, how did you How was your
Speaker 1: thinking in that moment? And you're like, what am I
Speaker 1: going to propose? How am I going to do it? Um?
Speaker 1: And what made you ultimately decide all right, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do this thing? Well, you know what Adonis proposing
Speaker 1: put some pressure, of course, it's right, exactly so. Um.
Speaker 1: But going into the process of the show, Um, they
Speaker 1: asked me from the beginning, if we found the perfect
Speaker 1: person for you would you want to propose, said, of course,
Speaker 1: you know, if you found this perfect person that meets
Speaker 1: all this criteria that that I laid out for them.
Speaker 1: And when she came out of the pod, I realized,
Speaker 1: you know what, she checked all the boxes. That's so sweet. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was love at first sight, definitely. That's the cool
Speaker 1: thing about the proposal is that it does really feed
Speaker 1: into love at first sight, because that's the whole idea
Speaker 1: of the show is that you only meet each other
Speaker 1: through I mean, you came out of the pod probably
Speaker 1: what two hours before he proposed, No, not even that,
Speaker 1: and you know what, you have to fall in love
Speaker 1: with the possibility of the things that has written down
Speaker 1: that you know about the person. You know. In the beginning,
Speaker 1: I said I'm a mother, I'm a grandmother. That could
Speaker 1: be a deal breaker for a lot of men. They
Speaker 1: could say a grandmother, so not only do you have
Speaker 1: a kid, I have to take care of a grandchild
Speaker 1: and see that baby too. That maybe out of the
Speaker 1: character of that person, they may say I'm done with
Speaker 1: my kids, or I don't want kids. You know, my career,
Speaker 1: I'm gone a lot, he travels a lot. That maybe
Speaker 1: a dealbreaker. You may say, yeah, I want someone that's
Speaker 1: going to be at home because I want my meals
Speaker 1: to be you know, done at six thirty because I
Speaker 1: get home at six o'clock and take my shower and
Speaker 1: eat dinner. You know. So you have to be able
Speaker 1: to be open and minded enough to be able to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: this person is a career orientated person. She's this, she's that.
Speaker 1: I don't know who she is, but I can. I
Speaker 1: can go for something like this. And if she looks
Speaker 1: you know, tasty or you know, tantalizing or sexy or
Speaker 1: you know, she's someone that's a looker, you know when
Speaker 1: she comes out, then and that's me, you know, yes,
Speaker 1: you know, complete package. And it's like and then you
Speaker 1: go from there. You guys living right now, I live
Speaker 1: in I live in California, Chicago. We'll go from Chicago though,
Speaker 1: so my my mom is still there, my family is
Speaker 1: still there, So I'm back and forth a lot. Do
Speaker 1: you have any plans of moving in? I grew up
Speaker 1: in Chicago, but I'm from l A. So I've got
Speaker 1: very nice So this was really worked out, checked off
Speaker 1: all the box. So like any plans of like maybe
Speaker 1: you go in to Chicago, you coming here to Southern Cali.
Speaker 1: Well he's been here about three or four times already. Okay,
Speaker 1: and like we said, it's been like maybe just a
Speaker 1: couple of months already, so your time, there's no rush.
Speaker 1: And so what was the feeling as soon as you guys,
Speaker 1: camera shut off, it's over. You guys are engaged, Like
Speaker 1: what was that moment being like okay, now it's sinking
Speaker 1: in what was still sinking? It was good? I mean
Speaker 1: at the moment, it was a high for me totally.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like the luckiest man world. That's awesome, definitely,
Speaker 1: that's my line. But it's just rating you. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just the vibe. Vibe is in the air. Love
Speaker 1: is in the air right now. I can totally tell
Speaker 1: it between you guys. And that's really cool to see
Speaker 1: because obviously you know the proposal. It's a very new show. Um,
Speaker 1: and it's a it's an obscure show, right because it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you meet somebody. I mean, like for you, you
Speaker 1: you had to eliminate what four guys And that was
Speaker 1: so hard because I don't like hurting anyone's feelings unless
Speaker 1: they do something to me. So um, you know, I
Speaker 1: was like, how do I eliminate these guys? Like they
Speaker 1: haven't done anything and they need to I need more,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, before our eliminate. But I
Speaker 1: had to, you know, I had those quarterios. I had to,
Speaker 1: you know, do the elimination. So it could only be
Speaker 1: off of the physicality, you know. Physical It's like, can
Speaker 1: I see myself with that person? No? Not really. Maybe
Speaker 1: he's too short, maybe he's too thin, maybe he's too big,
Speaker 1: maybe he's too whatever that is, you know. So I
Speaker 1: started doing it from that process, and then you know,
Speaker 1: I started going down and down and down, and they
Speaker 1: got down to four guys and three and the two
Speaker 1: it was just like and then I was in my
Speaker 1: head going getting help here, Like the audience was like
Speaker 1: really quiet, like really making me make the decision totally
Speaker 1: on my own. I was like, can I get something?
Speaker 1: I looked over at my family like, well, they was
Speaker 1: all in shock, like really you pick big? And so,
Speaker 1: you know, all the way to the end, I was
Speaker 1: just like, um, yeah, well with Chicago, there we go.
Speaker 1: I like it. And then how long ago was filming
Speaker 1: and a half months so end of April, so you
Speaker 1: guys have been dating for two and a half months.
Speaker 1: So uh so yeah, I I think you know, like
Speaker 1: coming from my background with the Bachelor's well, I've had
Speaker 1: friends I've gotten engaged on the show after only knowing
Speaker 1: them from you know, a person for a month and
Speaker 1: they say the same thing. We're like, yeah, we're you know,
Speaker 1: we got engaged, but it's really like we're dating after
Speaker 1: the show because you know, you're in this bubble and
Speaker 1: then everything happened so fast and film you guys are engaged,
Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, now we need to really know
Speaker 1: exactly get to know each other because like you're living habits.
Speaker 1: How you know, you guys get along like you were
Speaker 1: talking about before, like do you want a homebody? Do
Speaker 1: you want to travel a lot? Is that going to
Speaker 1: be an issue? Um? So it's pretty cool. So what's
Speaker 1: next for you guys? What's on the horizon? Yes, you
Speaker 1: guys have earned it. Yeah, we're gonna plan something to
Speaker 1: go somewhere and have some nice time together and and
Speaker 1: build some memories and have some adventure. You know, we
Speaker 1: both nature people, we both like to to be outdoors
Speaker 1: and you know, water sports and and then any idea
Speaker 1: of where you guys are to go. I think I
Speaker 1: want to leave that up to him, because I just
Speaker 1: know that I want to go someplace hot. The heat
Speaker 1: is here too, but I want to go somewhere tropical.
Speaker 1: And then any ideas for wedding dates, plans, anything in
Speaker 1: the air right now, you guys have talked about I
Speaker 1: know it's early. Um, we haven't planned anything as of
Speaker 1: yet yet, but you know, we're just taking steps towards that.
Speaker 1: So No, absolutely, I can totally understand where you're coming from,
Speaker 1: being engaged myself recently. Congratulations, Thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: appreciate you you met her earlier, and so I'm completely
Speaker 1: in your boat in terms of let's just enjoy being
Speaker 1: fiance's right now, live in the moment, and wedding plans
Speaker 1: will will come shortly there to keep them on the
Speaker 1: piece and queues, you know, on the outskirts of you know,
Speaker 1: keep them on their toes. No, you guys can follow
Speaker 1: the journey, Yes, follow the journey well. Lisa Ray Anthony
Speaker 1: from ABC's The Proposal, congratulations from everybody here at help.
Speaker 1: I second dating you too, obviously, do not help need
Speaker 1: any help. Um, I'm so happy for both of you guys.
Speaker 1: Congratulations once again, I can really just feel that love
Speaker 1: is in the air, and that makes me really happy
Speaker 1: because you know, uh, somebody even just watching the proposal
Speaker 1: and watching these shows, of course you know there's a
Speaker 1: little hesitation or doubt. But meeting YouTube in person, I
Speaker 1: can totally see that you guys are in love and
Speaker 1: very happy. Phones has been ringing off the hook, and
Speaker 1: you know, even the messages that I've been looking at
Speaker 1: the comments, people are like, you know what you're actually
Speaker 1: giving me hope. You know, I've been divorced and I
Speaker 1: was going to shut down, but now you know, if
Speaker 1: you can find love in an hour, so can I.
Speaker 1: It's like, yes, you can sign up next season. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: You never know where you find love, you know, you
Speaker 1: never know unless you take that chance. UM, let me
Speaker 1: ask you something because this was actually something that was
Speaker 1: in my mind. Um, Anthony, So obviously when you proposed,
Speaker 1: so you didn't, now is are you usually you ask permission?
Speaker 1: Like I had to asked for my fiance's dad's permission,
Speaker 1: And so was that is was that difficult at all?
Speaker 1: Like not really talking about like asking family or anything
Speaker 1: like that. Because one of my buddies had the same issue.
Speaker 1: Obviously he was like I couldn't ask anybody because I engaged,
Speaker 1: I got I proposed on the show. So was that
Speaker 1: weird at all? Being like, I'm just gonna have to
Speaker 1: ask for forgiveness and not permission. I think going on
Speaker 1: the show, we have an understanding that, um, you know,
Speaker 1: she's going to be open to acceptable a proposal. So
Speaker 1: I'm thinking that she already checked with the family. It's
Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay if she does accept the proposal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's that was my understand No, it's very smart.
Speaker 1: Good job. Well once again, guy's congratulations. Where can everybody
Speaker 1: find you? Well, I'm on social media, the real L
Speaker 1: ray one number one, the real L ray One perfect
Speaker 1: at least, I'm not too active on social media. I
Speaker 1: just a matter of fact, I just signed up for Instagram.
Speaker 1: Yeah months ago. Okay, what's your Instagram? I don't even
Speaker 1: know what That's the best thing I've ever heard. That
Speaker 1: is awesome. That's so refreshing to me in a age
Speaker 1: of social media for you to be like, I don't
Speaker 1: even know my Instagram handle. I can't tell you how
Speaker 1: refreshing that. I don't think I've ever heard that one.
Speaker 1: That's great. Alright, guys, Lisa A. Anthony Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Congratulations once again, thank you for
Speaker 1: having us well. Lisa, Ray and Anthony came in. They
Speaker 1: were so wonderful to come and talk to us. They're
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Speaker 1: We're gonna try him later, right, I believe? So he's
Speaker 1: the hell is your pan? It's still in Japan's my understanding.
Speaker 1: I thought he was in Bali now may I just
Speaker 1: will find out he could be in Antarctica right now
Speaker 1: for all I know. Holy moly, So we have a
Speaker 1: very special guest who's not a guest joining us right
Speaker 1: now over the phone. You know who she is. We
Speaker 1: have Vanessa. Okay, I can try not to yell because
Speaker 1: I'm actually I locked myself in my bathroom right now
Speaker 1: because I have no furniture in my place, so everywhere
Speaker 1: I go I hear I feel like there's an echo.
Speaker 1: You're not pooping, are you. I'm not. Okay, that's all
Speaker 1: I care about. No, not pooping. But I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: to talk softly so that there's no echo in the background.
Speaker 1: But I'm so happy to be on. I haven't still
Speaker 1: consumed forever. I know, Vanessa, it's been way too long.
Speaker 1: What has been happening in your life? Okay, so no,
Speaker 1: not much. I'm just trying to buy a bunch of
Speaker 1: furnishers for my new place in Montreal Real busy with that.
Speaker 1: You're so adulting right now. I'm so adulting right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't wait. Everyone's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's so funny re decorating. I'm like, yeah, it's also
Speaker 1: very expensive, and I gotten to regret it now. But
Speaker 1: it feels really good to be back. Not complaining. Oh good.
Speaker 1: We're glad to have you back, and we have I
Speaker 1: know somebody who's very happy to have you back. One
Speaker 1: of our listeners named Katie. Yes, Katie, rown email specifically
Speaker 1: for you, Vanessa, because she wants a female perspective, Mark,
Speaker 1: do you want to read this? You want me to?
Speaker 1: I'd be happy to perfect. Do you have a great voice?
Speaker 1: Do you know this? But are you familiar with this email? Vanessa?
Speaker 1: You sound like you are. I am, and I was
Speaker 1: actually very excited. My Katie, thank you for reaching out
Speaker 1: to me because you did the email for the guys.
Speaker 1: Got to give some perspective on this is what she's
Speaker 1: looking for, Well, she says, a guy from her passes
Speaker 1: come into her life. She says, we haven't talked to
Speaker 1: each other in five years. We reached out. He reached
Speaker 1: out last April, wanting to rekindle our friendship. We stopped
Speaker 1: talking because he and his friends really hurt me in
Speaker 1: my senior year of high school, to the point where
Speaker 1: I was depressed and suicidal. Fast forward to now, we
Speaker 1: started talking again. We've become more than friends, but definitely
Speaker 1: not to the real relationship level. He has initiated all
Speaker 1: of this, but it mostly happens when we are intoxicated.
Speaker 1: He've told me I make him nervous when I'm around
Speaker 1: and doesn't like to hang out with me alone because
Speaker 1: he feels tempted to make a move after night's out.
Speaker 1: I have slept over at his place with him in
Speaker 1: his bed. We fooled around, but nothing more. When we're together,
Speaker 1: we act like we're in a relationship. But I'm positive
Speaker 1: that I would never want a relationship with him, and
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I love
Speaker 1: this kid, but I know that because of what happened
Speaker 1: in high school and his history with cheating on his girlfriends,
Speaker 1: that could never be in a relationship with him. Help.
Speaker 1: I have no idea what his take is on a
Speaker 1: relationship because he doesn't talk about stuff. Where do you
Speaker 1: think his head is with all this? Okay? Well, first, Mark,
Speaker 1: I like, I love your radio voice. I love UM.
Speaker 1: I asked to roll down a couple of notes for
Speaker 1: her because Um. The one thing that I do want
Speaker 1: to point out it is we often try to women
Speaker 1: and men often try to find answers in the person
Speaker 1: that we're dating. But it sounds like, Katie, do is
Speaker 1: know exactly what you wanted to do? Twice in this
Speaker 1: email that you would never want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with them, So I think we need to figure
Speaker 1: out where your head and hearted at in order to
Speaker 1: make a decision whether you want to move forward with
Speaker 1: him or whether you just want to end things altogether. Now,
Speaker 1: there are a few red flags. One the fact that, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know what the history is in high school,
Speaker 1: people do change. It has been five years, UM, but
Speaker 1: the points of to the point where you were depressing suicidal,
Speaker 1: that's a huge red flags. So I'm not sure what
Speaker 1: what the history is with that, UM, but obviously there's
Speaker 1: still some form of UM hurt may be involved, or
Speaker 1: maybe you're holding on so grudge with him and his friends,
Speaker 1: So there's that that would probably um the if you're
Speaker 1: starting a relationship with him, then that's probably something that
Speaker 1: I would suggest that you would have to discuss and
Speaker 1: talk to him about before moving forward into something romantic.
Speaker 1: Another red flag is the fact that he has to
Speaker 1: be intoxicated um in order to make a move with you,
Speaker 1: and that just still for me as a level of
Speaker 1: immaturity UM. And also the fact that he has his
Speaker 1: troops cheating on his girlfriends. Again, that may have been
Speaker 1: in high school. People do change after a couple of years.
Speaker 1: It has been five years um since UM, since you
Speaker 1: guys last folks. So I just feel like you need
Speaker 1: to figure out what it is that you want and
Speaker 1: what it is that you need. And I I feel
Speaker 1: like I keep saying this all the time, every time
Speaker 1: there's someone that keeps asking for advice. What is it
Speaker 1: that you want out of the relationships, and that's what
Speaker 1: your answers. Your answer is going to be if you're
Speaker 1: looking to find a reaction in the person that you're dating,
Speaker 1: then you're just trying to poke holes in the relationship,
Speaker 1: or you know, that's just not a healthy way to start. UM.
Speaker 1: So I just feel like, you know what your answer is.
Speaker 1: Maybe you just made the reassurance and to push to
Speaker 1: um had that direction. She needs to stop. And then,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, if I could just I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not the female perspective, but it seems like she's very
Speaker 1: clear on this. She doesn't want to dat if she
Speaker 1: doesn't want a relationship, he's heard her in the past,
Speaker 1: and yet she's sleeping with him in a boat. I
Speaker 1: think we need some separation here. I completely agree. I
Speaker 1: when I was hearing you talk Vanessa and thinking more
Speaker 1: upon this, and then Mark, I'm just pretty much readering
Speaker 1: exactly you just said. I feel like, you need to
Speaker 1: cut this person out of your life. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you're talking about somebody who five years ago put you
Speaker 1: to the point in your life where you're depressed and
Speaker 1: thinking about suicide, you might want to cut this person
Speaker 1: out of your life specifically because you don't see a
Speaker 1: relationship with them. Like, I don't understand the point if
Speaker 1: you guys are just fooling around and yes you love
Speaker 1: him as a human being, but obviously you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: people bring the worst out in each other, even if
Speaker 1: you love one another. And if that happens, I think
Speaker 1: Mark is right. I think separation is key. Only toxicity
Speaker 1: lies in your future with this guy. I agree. Okay,
Speaker 1: I couldn't said it better Vanessa, any final thoughts on that? No,
Speaker 1: I agree, and I agree with you said Jared. You
Speaker 1: know we all have a good and a bad side,
Speaker 1: but if you have someone that's bringing out the worst
Speaker 1: out of you, you definitely do not want to be
Speaker 1: with that person. I completely agree. Um, you know what
Speaker 1: else I really agree on? I mean, this is a
Speaker 1: weird transition, but we're just gonna do it anyway. I
Speaker 1: believe in healthy hair. That's what I believe, and I
Speaker 1: don't find out weird at all, because we were talking
Speaker 1: about your hair when you drove me home, like a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, Vanessa said, I had a wonderful
Speaker 1: head of hair and it was the sweetest thing ever, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: you have beautiful hair. Yeah. What. My mom actually complimented
Speaker 1: me on my hair yesterday. I brought her to the
Speaker 1: spaw because it was her birth dastes like, your hair
Speaker 1: cut so long, and I'm like, yeah, you know why.
Speaker 1: It's like why because these like little blue gummy bears
Speaker 1: lying around my house and She's like, what are these?
Speaker 1: If you tried it, they are the most amazing thing.
Speaker 1: So if you can picture any celebrity with amazing hair,
Speaker 1: you can set that their stylists have cooled them in
Speaker 1: on the Sugar Bear hair. Sugar Bear Hair is the
Speaker 1: best seller, one of the best sellers on Amazon with
Speaker 1: amazing rave reviews, and I've reviewed them and I've raved
Speaker 1: about them on my own personal Instagram account. The taste
Speaker 1: like sweet. The lists candy made out of due some
Speaker 1: real berries, but they contain everything you need for stnger
Speaker 1: and healthier hair, as much vitamin A as pour cups
Speaker 1: of rosoy, which I didn't know that's amazing. As much
Speaker 1: vitamins one cup of cranberries and as much of vitamin
Speaker 1: deep salve as four organic eggs, lutans and circum Bear
Speaker 1: hair fans also found their hair and nails and skin
Speaker 1: qualities from prove over time. And I can attest to
Speaker 1: the steel. So go to cirguar bear hair dot com
Speaker 1: clast help for beautiful hair and I help hear you that.
Speaker 1: Ciguarbar hair dot com blasts h l P Sugar Bear
Speaker 1: Hair dot com slash h E l Pie. I love them.
Speaker 1: I've tasted sugar Bear hair. I've tried these. They taste amazing.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, you really do. Apparently you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to eat more than um two or three yeah
Speaker 1: to a day. Really hard to stop. It's ridiculously hard
Speaker 1: to stop. Ashley had them, and I was. I had
Speaker 1: two of them, and all I wanted to do was
Speaker 1: take a handful of them and keep them in my mouth.
Speaker 1: But you know you can't have what you always want.
Speaker 1: So yeah, definitely sugar Bear hair. I I think, who's
Speaker 1: your favorite celebrity? Vanessa with great hair my favorite celebrity.
Speaker 1: Let's thinking about this spot. I love but obviously santi
Speaker 1: for Anderson always had beautiful hair, um, silky, beautiful hair.
Speaker 1: And also because I have always felt like my hair
Speaker 1: was a little bit on the like the finer side,
Speaker 1: So I love women would take luxury, like luxury hair
Speaker 1: like Zoe Desinelle. You know who that is from New Girl?
Speaker 1: Of course I know who that is. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I on her. Oh she's the best. My favorite celebrity
Speaker 1: with gray hair is Leo from the Bachelor. He's amazing.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie about that. Yeah, it's the best, right,
Speaker 1: beautiful hair, Sugar Bear Hair definitely a way to go, guys.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to sugar bear
Speaker 1: hair dot com slash help for beautiful hair and a
Speaker 1: healthier you. Um, so we're gonna get Dina phone, We're
Speaker 1: gonna try. Eric is gonna try. While we're doing that.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on Justin Bieber and Haley Baldwin
Speaker 1: getting engaged? That's the big news MO week, especially up
Speaker 1: in Canada. I would imagine, right, yeah, I'm okay, Can
Speaker 1: I start because I'm Canadian and very heartbroken, but at
Speaker 1: the same time happy for him, Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to feel about this, right now, why are you heartbroken?
Speaker 1: Because you know what you have like a little bit
Speaker 1: of a crush on like a celebrity or whatever. You
Speaker 1: kind of always picture them as like single or like
Speaker 1: as available, and you know, but now that he's indeed,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like guilty, like wanting to have a
Speaker 1: crush on him. Yeah, there's never a shot for you
Speaker 1: two to be together again. This is like the royal wedding,
Speaker 1: isn't it. Because he's kind of like a prince in
Speaker 1: Canada and he's marrying an American. I guess you can
Speaker 1: consider him a prince, but no, not at the same level.
Speaker 1: Is only the Megan Markle of Canada. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's an unfair assessment. Really. It's interesting though, because
Speaker 1: they they've known each other for years, haven't they. They've
Speaker 1: been friends because he's on and off. Yeah, they dated
Speaker 1: like back in I think, or I don't even know
Speaker 1: they dated because I know obviously Bieber and Selena Gomez,
Speaker 1: that's like a very famous relationship that's being shipped quote
Speaker 1: unquote around the world. You know, that's ship I was
Speaker 1: shipping Bieber and Selena Gomez. But apparently and didn't they
Speaker 1: just did it didn't. They just did a few months.
Speaker 1: That's the thing is they're both coming off fairly serious relationships,
Speaker 1: or so we thought. We thought Haley and Shawn Mendez
Speaker 1: were a thing. Apparently yeah, may or maybe they were,
Speaker 1: maybe they won't. We thought Justin and Selena were back together.
Speaker 1: Maybe they were, maybe they weren't, And now all of
Speaker 1: a sudden they're engaged, not just dating. Now I can't say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I was just gonna say from personal experience,
Speaker 1: coming from somebody who's been now engaged to somebody they've
Speaker 1: been friends with for a very long time and have
Speaker 1: had somewhat of a public relationship history with, I will say,
Speaker 1: for Justin and Haley, could have been one of those
Speaker 1: things where they got back together and they just immediately
Speaker 1: knew that this was going to be a lifelong type thing.
Speaker 1: So Justin was probably like, I'm just gonna put a
Speaker 1: ring on it because I see myself spending the rest
Speaker 1: of my life with this girl after so many years
Speaker 1: of friendship, so many up and downs, Like we got
Speaker 1: back together. We know each other inside and out, we've
Speaker 1: been best friends for so long. We're not dating because
Speaker 1: we want to be boyfriend girlfriend were eight because we
Speaker 1: want to be life partners, and so maybe that's what happened.
Speaker 1: Maybe he was just like, I want to get married
Speaker 1: to you, I want to get engaged to you. I
Speaker 1: want to show you that I want to spend the
Speaker 1: rest of my life with you. Still very young, wouldn't
Speaker 1: you say? Well, on her, he's he's twenty four. That's
Speaker 1: the only thing that's so young. That's the only downside
Speaker 1: for this entire story, I feel like is that she's
Speaker 1: twenty one. Because even he's twenty five, that's really you know,
Speaker 1: like Ben our own Ben Higgins was twenty six when
Speaker 1: he was the Bachelor. You know, I was twenty six
Speaker 1: when I was on the bachelorrette. Um, So like, I
Speaker 1: don't think two young. Twenty one is very young though.
Speaker 1: I think that often times that we think we build
Speaker 1: the entire story because we read stuff online. But obviously
Speaker 1: there's parts of the relationship that we don't know about.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe they just try to rekindle the relationship.
Speaker 1: Um more than once than the online I does say
Speaker 1: that they've been spent for a while, so and it
Speaker 1: has apparently wasn't something that was a spontaneous like the
Speaker 1: type of decision. It was something that Justin was pining
Speaker 1: on doing. So if people, yeah, if people are happy,
Speaker 1: people know, they say, when you know, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for that. But Jared, when you know you know, right,
Speaker 1: I can tell you from from the experience, when you know,
Speaker 1: you take three years and then you'd really know. Well,
Speaker 1: it's kind of a trend right now because you have
Speaker 1: Alreadana Grande who's with Mac Miller and then suddenly she
Speaker 1: was Pete David Boom engaged. He was with Larry David's
Speaker 1: daughter Boom engaged all of a sudden. And I mean,
Speaker 1: I I know a woman who was on Bachelor Winter
Speaker 1: Games in Dayton some yeahoo, and now she's married engaged
Speaker 1: to a different guy, this guy right there. So that's
Speaker 1: an interesting thing, isn't it That you're with other people
Speaker 1: and then you get into a new relationship fine, and
Speaker 1: then suddenly engaged. Yeah. It's fast moving, fast moving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But when you know, you know, when you know, you know.
Speaker 1: But I think the only couple that's a little bit
Speaker 1: different than what we just talked about would be Pete
Speaker 1: and Ariana because they didn't know each other, did they
Speaker 1: did they know each other before dating a little bit?
Speaker 1: She was on so now. But but yeah, not a lot. Okay,
Speaker 1: not like justin Haley doing each other from now. They're
Speaker 1: like publicly like really close friends. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: We'll see, you know, our prayers go out, Selena. We'll
Speaker 1: see what happens with her. Hopefully she finds the man
Speaker 1: that she's going to spend the rest of her life with. Erica,
Speaker 1: how are you doing on Deane? Back there? Dean is
Speaker 1: missing in the wild. Dean is always missing in the wild.
Speaker 1: This poor man tattoo? I saw that he got on
Speaker 1: Instagram tattoo. Did I see that hang loose tattoo? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course he did. He's getting butterfly anklets. I'm like, what,
Speaker 1: he's never coming back. He's never coming back to the States.
Speaker 1: I was told he was. They were interviewing locals about
Speaker 1: dating customs, which I think is a way for him
Speaker 1: to write off the trip. To be honest with you,
Speaker 1: going anyway, but if he does some dating research, it's
Speaker 1: now with a work trip, business trip, traveling all around
Speaker 1: the world to find out how they date business, Um, well,
Speaker 1: come back sucking less at dating. We can, we can,
Speaker 1: we can certainly hope that. Well, do you want to
Speaker 1: do some emails while we're waiting for Deanie. Hopefully we
Speaker 1: can do that. Miranda wants to know this is a
Speaker 1: real girl life. She says, how do guys feel about
Speaker 1: shaved legs? I grow very little hair on my legs.
Speaker 1: You can get away without shaving. What would a guy think?
Speaker 1: And do they even notice? Then she has some follow
Speaker 1: up questions, but let's hit that one first, Jared, how
Speaker 1: do guys feel about shaved legs? Yeah, listen, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be superficial here, but the last
Speaker 1: thing you want as a woman is a guy's hand
Speaker 1: going up your leg and then his like it's like
Speaker 1: speed bumps, because it's very prickly. You know, you just
Speaker 1: don't want that, and so as a female it's probably
Speaker 1: best to, you know, make sure the legs are nice
Speaker 1: and smooth. But is that a deal breaker? A deal breaker? No,
Speaker 1: it's not a deal breaker. No. If I was really
Speaker 1: into her, I would think it was very cute. I
Speaker 1: think so too, of course, but but it all I'm
Speaker 1: with Jared on this one because you don't want to
Speaker 1: be so superficial. It's very superficial what we're saying right here. Yes,
Speaker 1: but it's not great No, it's not the best. You know,
Speaker 1: it would be like if, for example, if yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: I can't even say anything. I'm gonna get so much.
Speaker 1: Do you get terribly? How dare you guys are such
Speaker 1: superficial jerks all you care about the physical part of
Speaker 1: the relationship. Uh? Listen. You know girls and guys both
Speaker 1: want shaved legs. You know, have you ever shaved your legs? No?
Speaker 1: But a buddy of mine who's playing football at one time,
Speaker 1: did he lost the bet? He had to get a
Speaker 1: waxed Yeah. And then guys intracted it because apparently it
Speaker 1: was like aero dynamic. I I did try. I don't
Speaker 1: think it is. It doesn't help. I shaved an E
Speaker 1: into my leg one time as a joke. Come out
Speaker 1: very well, So I just evened it out. Could you
Speaker 1: tell it was an e at least? No? No, it
Speaker 1: just was like a big blob. I used that Narror
Speaker 1: product and if you remember that, it was like it's
Speaker 1: a lotion. Yeah it's it's it's not good for you,
Speaker 1: like melts the hair away. That's awesome, that's very healthy.
Speaker 1: But I did. I did even it out, and growing
Speaker 1: the hair going back is really painful and I had
Speaker 1: an all new insight into the plight of the female,
Speaker 1: and I felt so much respect. I could never I
Speaker 1: give so much respect to females for the things that
Speaker 1: they have to go through that we don't have to,
Speaker 1: and specifically with shaving legs. Like obviously I'm in a
Speaker 1: relationship now, so we kind of like talk about things
Speaker 1: like this, And actually one time was making fun of
Speaker 1: me because she's like, it's so ridiculous that you get
Speaker 1: to go in the shower and just enjoy the shower,
Speaker 1: So it's talking about her. Sometimes I like standing there
Speaker 1: and just feels so good having hot water run down you.
Speaker 1: And I stand there for like ten minutes, and she's like,
Speaker 1: she's like, I hate you because you get to stand
Speaker 1: there and just enjoy the shower. Do you understand what
Speaker 1: I have to do when I go in the shower.
Speaker 1: It's a whole process between like how many you know,
Speaker 1: lotions she has to use different like um um moisturizers,
Speaker 1: but also one of the scrubbing, what am I thinking
Speaker 1: of exfoliating and then like shaving legs and armpits, And
Speaker 1: she's like, it's so ridiculous that you get to go
Speaker 1: in there and you're just like, oh my boy, I
Speaker 1: get to shower and have so much fun and just
Speaker 1: stand here and enjoy like the steam filling up the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and she's working her ass off to make sure that
Speaker 1: she oh, and she's going to run out of hot water.
Speaker 1: The clock is kicking the whole time. He's gotta keep
Speaker 1: it moving. I have a little confession. I dated this
Speaker 1: guy once and we were very very very very close,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well when so let's be how long
Speaker 1: you go without saving your legs. I went for three
Speaker 1: months without saving my lige guys who Okay, now you
Speaker 1: got to save them. But it was just like a
Speaker 1: little bet we had going on. I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I did this want take my legs every day? Did
Speaker 1: your legs get really hairy? Third? I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: super my hair is not very dark, but I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a visible hair. It was in the middle
Speaker 1: of winter anyway, so I wasn't wearing starts or anything.
Speaker 1: But I would envision you with dark hair. That's why
Speaker 1: when you said you weren'tchaving legs as you have dark
Speaker 1: headed hair. So I was like, well, I'm sure her
Speaker 1: legs get dark hair too. My legs are not that dark,
Speaker 1: and I don't have I'm not super hairy my little bit,
Speaker 1: but not my legs. How was your like body core,
Speaker 1: body temperature? Because when I was without no for real,
Speaker 1: when I was without hair on my legs, I was
Speaker 1: cold a lot and don't have had anything to do
Speaker 1: with it. I felt like, and that's what I say
Speaker 1: her time. I just use it as installations like not
Speaker 1: having to st And to back up a minute, easton,
Speaker 1: why did you try to shave an e into your leg? Anyway?
Speaker 1: It was cool that funny. I have very coarse and
Speaker 1: prominent black leg hair, so it would have been and
Speaker 1: you have a tattoo and you're like nothing legs should
Speaker 1: have shown you. Um. But anyway, anyway, moving on from that,
Speaker 1: we can finish the well, yes, we have more from around,
Speaker 1: I think. To sum up, I would say shaving like
Speaker 1: unshaven legs better than unshaven armpits, But she said, have
Speaker 1: to extend this further. What are hygiene deal breakers like
Speaker 1: brushing teeth? Well, we'd like you to do that, and
Speaker 1: we will as well. I think that's fair. Of course
Speaker 1: everyone does that because she says, what what natural methods
Speaker 1: like pulling or baking soda. Uh No, just use toothpaste.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you know, I mean, I don't think
Speaker 1: those are deal break because if somebody wants to do
Speaker 1: some experimental natural stuff, you can brush your teeth with
Speaker 1: baking soda. I never even knew that I used baking
Speaker 1: soda with my soap. Smells like, what about you soap?
Speaker 1: She points out that Dean doesn't use soap. So I
Speaker 1: found out because we were in Tahoe one time with Dean. Dean.
Speaker 1: You know, he's a very touchy feely guy. Love it
Speaker 1: because he massages everybody. He's massaging my shoulders. Then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, for some reason, we got on the
Speaker 1: topic of hygiene. He's like, yeah, I never use soap,
Speaker 1: And I said what, And he's like, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: use soap on my body. And I said, well, do
Speaker 1: you wash your hands after you use the bathroom? And
Speaker 1: he's like, no, I'm just naturally clean as his thumbs
Speaker 1: are just you know, just pressing into my back. Actually,
Speaker 1: to be fair, he might have said he washed his
Speaker 1: hands sometimes. I can't remember, but I know he doesn't
Speaker 1: use soap on his body. He doesn't. He doesn't wash
Speaker 1: his hands either. No, Okay, I didn't think you're right
Speaker 1: about I think this podcast. He doesn't wear nd he
Speaker 1: goes commando all the time. Deans a handful, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm telling He has never come back. He's going to
Speaker 1: come back with like a d shaved into his leg.
Speaker 1: Now it's gonna be a whole It's gonna be a
Speaker 1: whole thing. Um But apparently with Dean it took him
Speaker 1: like two weeks too for his body to adjust because
Speaker 1: he used soap as a kid, and then he stopped
Speaker 1: using it and it put and he smelled for about
Speaker 1: two weeks. But apparently after that his natural body order
Speaker 1: started to adjust without using soap, and now he smells. No, no,
Speaker 1: it's not a smelling guy at all. Your question from Randa,
Speaker 1: do guys care if we slack on taking care of
Speaker 1: our fingernails? Good? I never do my nails, so I
Speaker 1: honestly don't give a I don't think so, I say no,
Speaker 1: I've never cared whether or not a girl has incredibly
Speaker 1: manicured finger nails. Doesn't bother me in the slight It
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me, and actually I don't. I'm not a
Speaker 1: huge fan of um Press like the plastic nails. I
Speaker 1: don't like the way they feel anyway. So does that
Speaker 1: make sense, Vanessa? Am I saying that? Okay? Yeah, so no,
Speaker 1: I think I think you're fine. Miranda, You're gonna be
Speaker 1: just fine. Eric, could you want to read the email? Sure? Alright? So,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, Mark is ditching us. Unbelievable. Um, And
Speaker 1: then we have the wonderful and beautiful to magnificent Another
Speaker 1: female Yah, another female Erica joining us to read emails.
Speaker 1: Yea major. I've never read the emails before. It's a
Speaker 1: big deal. This is a big moment, all right. Well
Speaker 1: this is from Shana. She says, my boyfriend of over
Speaker 1: a year has been spending a lot of time with
Speaker 1: some new friends, which happened to be two single girls,
Speaker 1: just for about a month or so now. I've never
Speaker 1: thought too much about it until he spent the weekend
Speaker 1: at one of their houses while I was away for
Speaker 1: a girl's trip with my friends. Though I'm sure nothing
Speaker 1: bad happened, I communicated how uncomfortable and neglected I've been feeling,
Speaker 1: as I do not know these girls and I've yet
Speaker 1: to be introduced to them. When I expressed interest in
Speaker 1: meeting them, he said, if you want to. He then
Speaker 1: explained how he would like to keep his friends in
Speaker 1: relationships separate and likes having his own friends and his
Speaker 1: own time. I'm not asking you to be a part
Speaker 1: of the group, and I'm not accusing him of anything bad.
Speaker 1: So why do you think he's hesitant to introduce me
Speaker 1: to his friends? Why do you think his hesitation of
Speaker 1: bringing two worlds together as even a thing? I do
Speaker 1: trust him, But am I crazy for feeling neglected and
Speaker 1: unimportant or do adjust second dating a girl? No, you
Speaker 1: have every right to feel that way. I would feel
Speaker 1: so stitched out of my boyfriend or even the guy
Speaker 1: that I'm like seriously dating, even if we're not like
Speaker 1: a title yet, if you don't have a title yet,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't introduce me to his friends or include
Speaker 1: me into that part of his world, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm totally for dating someone and having two separate lives,
Speaker 1: but at one point you kind of have to know
Speaker 1: what's going on in each other's lives and still be
Speaker 1: part a part of each other's social and social and
Speaker 1: support system, you know, like meeting their friends and family
Speaker 1: and all that. Yeah. No, I'm just like when I
Speaker 1: was reading this, I was like, why he's spend the
Speaker 1: weekend one of the single girls houses. Yeah this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a giant red flag. It's so bad, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know, Shannon, you sound wonderful. Thank you for
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. You need to tell your boyfriend
Speaker 1: then you need to meet these two girls immediately or
Speaker 1: he's not friends with them. This is there shouldn't be
Speaker 1: like I have to do this, you should do that,
Speaker 1: or there shouldn't be any ultimatums in relationships. That's no
Speaker 1: that I don't like. I agree with what you're saying,
Speaker 1: but it shouldn't be like I have to meet your
Speaker 1: friends if he doesn't want. This is different. This is
Speaker 1: different though, because I agree with what you're saying with
Speaker 1: friends prior to a relationship starting. These are two girls
Speaker 1: that he became friends with recently after he's been dating
Speaker 1: this other girl for over a year. Like, this is
Speaker 1: the this is the weird thing, right, because when you
Speaker 1: become in a relationship, you have to understand that, like
Speaker 1: there's gonna be jealousy involved and you have to be
Speaker 1: respectful and the like. Could you imagine me like going
Speaker 1: and being like, Hey, Ashley, I'm just gonna go hang
Speaker 1: out with these two girls that you never met before
Speaker 1: that I just became friends with and I'm gonna spend
Speaker 1: a weekend with them, but you're never going to meet him,
Speaker 1: And I really don't want you to meet them now.
Speaker 1: But I know, I totally agree what you're saying. But
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is there shouldn't be You shouldn't have
Speaker 1: to train someone that you've been dating for a year
Speaker 1: on the dudes and don't of a relationship. I agree,
Speaker 1: But for me, is that would be enough for me
Speaker 1: to be like, you know what if I'm not that
Speaker 1: important you for you to consider me to even just
Speaker 1: consider saying, hey, I've become friends with these people I
Speaker 1: wanted to be part of my social circle, then no,
Speaker 1: I don't have the patience to do with that. I
Speaker 1: completely agree, which is why I think it's a genre
Speaker 1: reflaging something like if he can't get past, then you
Speaker 1: should really start reconsidering this relationship or where you guys
Speaker 1: are at, because this is sketch. It's bad male female
Speaker 1: relations friendships at all. When you're in a relationship are
Speaker 1: It's very tricky? Yeah, very trick Like I struggle with
Speaker 1: it in my own relationship where I'm so insecure about it,
Speaker 1: and like, say, who are these girls that you're hanging
Speaker 1: out with? Even when I meet them, I'm I don't
Speaker 1: like it because it's always just even like, for example,
Speaker 1: Dean even said last week or two weeks ago, good
Speaker 1: go out time flies by on the podcast because we're
Speaker 1: talking about, you know, being friends with somebody of the
Speaker 1: opposite sex, and he was like, sometimes I'll stay friends
Speaker 1: with somebody like, but it won't be with the best
Speaker 1: like I'll ask I won't be with the best intentions
Speaker 1: pretty much, you know. Like he's like, yeah, I'll ask
Speaker 1: about their significant other, but it's like, I'm just keeping
Speaker 1: in contact with them because you know, I want to
Speaker 1: stay in contact in case something changes. And it's like
Speaker 1: that's you know, so you just really never know. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying Dean has done that. We're talking about
Speaker 1: it just loosely. I don't want to. You know, Dean's
Speaker 1: a wonderful human being who I love very mention and
Speaker 1: I don't think you never do that. But um, for here,
Speaker 1: like the fact that he doesn't want you to meet
Speaker 1: the girls, Why why don't you because you want separate lives? Well,
Speaker 1: I got news for you. If we're dating for over
Speaker 1: a year and if we get engaged and married, at
Speaker 1: some point, our lives are gonna start intersecting, and two
Speaker 1: is going to become one, you know. And the big
Speaker 1: difference for me is having friends with like if I'm
Speaker 1: friends with a girl, like having friends of opposite sex
Speaker 1: before the relationship starts and afterwards is a very big difference.
Speaker 1: In my mind. Maybe I'm crazy, but if I have
Speaker 1: a friend that's a girl, then I start dating someone else,
Speaker 1: I don't want to give up that girl that's a
Speaker 1: friend who's always just been a platonic friend. But if
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship and I start making friends with
Speaker 1: the girl after I start dating someone for some reason,
Speaker 1: in my mind, that sounds way worse. It also depends
Speaker 1: on the type of relationship. Like we're friends, but well,
Speaker 1: we won't text each other, we won't call each other,
Speaker 1: we won't like invate each other's personal you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like it's like we respect each other's face,
Speaker 1: then like each other's Like I respect the relationship with
Speaker 1: asking And I think it depends on the level of friendship.
Speaker 1: I'm not someone that is went out with a lot younger.
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't want my boyfriend to be friends
Speaker 1: with any girl. And now that I'm older, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm more mature. I understand that people come with like
Speaker 1: different friends but different relationships with different people. Um, but
Speaker 1: there has to be that level of respective. It's not there.
Speaker 1: And if I don't feel comfortable, I always say goal
Speaker 1: with your gut. If there's if something is up, it
Speaker 1: because something is up. Yeah, excuse me, Shannon, you do
Speaker 1: not suck at dating. You obviously email those because you
Speaker 1: feel like something's up. I would absolutely talk to him
Speaker 1: as soon as possible. And because there does seem to
Speaker 1: be a lack of transparency as well, because you even
Speaker 1: saying the open in paragraph when he spends a weekend
Speaker 1: with them while you were away at a girl's trip,
Speaker 1: you say, though, I know that's weird, right, And then
Speaker 1: you say though I'm sure nothing bad happened, You're sure
Speaker 1: nothing bad happened, or you you just it makes it
Speaker 1: sound like you don't know, Okay. I also want to
Speaker 1: point this out. I dated someone who was a really
Speaker 1: good friends with the girl, and for some reason I
Speaker 1: just didn't trust their relationships because I felt like she
Speaker 1: would be the type of person if she would hit
Speaker 1: the fan between me and the guy that I was dating,
Speaker 1: and he would go to go to her for advice.
Speaker 1: I don't think she would have my best interest and
Speaker 1: would would tell him, would give him the wrong advice
Speaker 1: in order to stablish our relationships, you would probably try
Speaker 1: to break us apart, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That's how I felt about their relationship. So so, maybe
Speaker 1: nothing physical happened between them, but I just don't know
Speaker 1: if I were to trust the like the advice that
Speaker 1: maybe they were giving him, or if the if the
Speaker 1: if that conversation would come up, you know, of course
Speaker 1: relationship would come up. And Vanessa, I completely agree with
Speaker 1: you on that note, where Shana, you might think that
Speaker 1: your boyfriend has the best intentions with these girls, but
Speaker 1: how do you know they have the best intentions with him,
Speaker 1: you know, And and it only takes one mistake and
Speaker 1: so and the big red flag for me is the
Speaker 1: fact that he just doesn't want you to meet them,
Speaker 1: and like he's spending weekends with them. And this is
Speaker 1: a very new friendship when you've been dating for over
Speaker 1: a year now, um, And so I would get a
Speaker 1: lot more clarity on the situation. I would definitely talk
Speaker 1: to him and press him on this particular issue and
Speaker 1: make sure that you know you have a pretty good
Speaker 1: understanding of who these friends are, meet them so they
Speaker 1: know who you are, because like, of course you want,
Speaker 1: you know, you want, you trust your partner, you want
Speaker 1: to have them have friends of the opposite sex and
Speaker 1: not even think twice about it. But you know, it's
Speaker 1: a scary world. Yeah. The only scenario I see is
Speaker 1: turning out good is if it's like a romantic comedy
Speaker 1: and the two girls are like ring designers and he's
Speaker 1: picking out that's why he doesn't want her to meet them.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that's what's going on. If we
Speaker 1: loved in an ideal world, I know that's the I
Speaker 1: mean maybe, I mean, maybe he's spending weekends with the
Speaker 1: ring designers. Well, yeah, you don't want my except that
Speaker 1: when I was dating this guy, he kept calling my
Speaker 1: my best friend and I was like, dude, this is
Speaker 1: so weird, like why do you keep calling her? But
Speaker 1: it was so this like really really sweet gift that
Speaker 1: he was planning for me her advice, And I thought,
Speaker 1: like I never and I never thought twice about it.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I wonder like, I'm like, oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's just trying to get to know her as
Speaker 1: my friends because like she's really best she's best friends
Speaker 1: with me, and he wants to become really close to her.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, oh my god, that was be dis
Speaker 1: best for ever. But that's rarely the case. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: now we have Julia. Julia says, I've noticed an ongoing
Speaker 1: theme which I am behind for the most part, and
Speaker 1: this is that you should wait and make sure you're
Speaker 1: with the person that deserves you. When your partner isn't
Speaker 1: your ideal perfect person, weighs like they're jealous, they're immature, etcetera.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can get behind the idea
Speaker 1: that it's time to give up because they don't deserve us.
Speaker 1: I've been in a seven year relationship and can tell
Speaker 1: you firsthand that not everything is perfect, sunshine, and both
Speaker 1: me and my boyfriend have made plenty of mistakes. I
Speaker 1: was on a flight yesterday sitting next to a man
Speaker 1: who's been married for twenty years now, and his advice
Speaker 1: was to make a relationship last is that you have
Speaker 1: to work together to push past the hard times. I
Speaker 1: agree with him. Maybe I'm naive, but I've yet to
Speaker 1: find someone who says they are in a perfect relationship.
Speaker 1: I think it's the relationships that push pushed past the
Speaker 1: tough times that come out truly stronger thoughts. I mean, Jared,
Speaker 1: you're you're engaged, so take it away. Yeah, pretty much. No,
Speaker 1: I completely agree. I think a lot of people UM
Speaker 1: will say, oh, if it's meant to be, it's meant
Speaker 1: to be, And I think that takes away any effort
Speaker 1: that needs to be put into relationship, which there does
Speaker 1: even even prior to relationship, Like you have to actually
Speaker 1: actively try to pursue someone and stay in contact with
Speaker 1: them and ask them out, and there's a lot of effort.
Speaker 1: You can't be like, wow, if it just works out,
Speaker 1: then it will work out and it's meant to be,
Speaker 1: if it's meant to be, and it's like yeah, but
Speaker 1: you're also losing sight on the idea that you have
Speaker 1: to put effort in. And so I completely agree with
Speaker 1: this um because there is no such thing as a
Speaker 1: perfect relationship. Everybody has their good times, they're bad times.
Speaker 1: I mean, Ashley and I have a very loving and
Speaker 1: wonderful relationship, and I'm happier than i've ever been. But
Speaker 1: am I going to sit here and say every second
Speaker 1: of every minute has been perfect? Absolutely not. Look at
Speaker 1: two years ago, you guys were in an incredibly different place.
Speaker 1: So absolutely right. You were right on that one. What
Speaker 1: happened two years ago? I forgot. I think there's some
Speaker 1: stuff going on. I don't remember any of that, um,
Speaker 1: and so it's all in the past. And I completely
Speaker 1: agree Van s. Do you have any thoughts on it? Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna let Erisa go first because I'm the
Speaker 1: only one here that's single. So um, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is actually a refreshing thing to read at a time
Speaker 1: when I'm in a pretty new relationship. I just it's
Speaker 1: like advice to me almost that like, hey, sometimes you're
Speaker 1: going to fight and then you're gonna get over it
Speaker 1: as long as you both want to, and then it's
Speaker 1: all good. I hope. Um, like three months basically, yeah,
Speaker 1: like three months and like things are very good. But
Speaker 1: we did have like our first Sorry to him, if
Speaker 1: he listens, this is like, why are you talking about
Speaker 1: my stuff? We had our first fight and it sucks
Speaker 1: because your bubbles burst. But I also think we both
Speaker 1: like actually want to stay together and want to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship long term, so that that's a good sign.
Speaker 1: And like, I think this is saying nothing's gonna be perfect.
Speaker 1: You're never not going to fight, but you just have
Speaker 1: to choose every day to get over those things and
Speaker 1: move forward. I agree with what everyone is saying. And
Speaker 1: as the only legle first day here, I will say,
Speaker 1: as you get older, um, I think you become more
Speaker 1: said in your ways than what you want and know
Speaker 1: what you want in a relationship. So when there's like
Speaker 1: one major red flag that it pops up at the
Speaker 1: beginning of the relationship. And I've been talking about this
Speaker 1: with a lot of my girlfriends who are single and
Speaker 1: they're early and late thirties, and we all kind of
Speaker 1: said the same thing, like we'd rather just be in
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship with ourselves and wait for the right
Speaker 1: person to come our way instead of diving into a
Speaker 1: relationship that maybe a little bit unhealthy and make us
Speaker 1: unhappier than when we are then you know, then when
Speaker 1: we are happy on our own. So yes, of course,
Speaker 1: relationships they're like rollercoasters. You have your ups and you
Speaker 1: have your downs, and when they're down, it's like, man,
Speaker 1: I've been in those relationships that's when it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: should you walk away from it? So do you work
Speaker 1: towards things? I'm the type of person when I'm in
Speaker 1: a relationship, I want to try everything in my body
Speaker 1: be that I could, like possibly do to make this
Speaker 1: relationship work. And if it still can't work, then at
Speaker 1: least I can look back and say that I tried
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry. No, No, I'm just saying, like I
Speaker 1: think you know, I'm not saying walk away from something.
Speaker 1: But if it doesn't, if it is an unhealthy relationship, um,
Speaker 1: and it is. There are toxic people out there then
Speaker 1: that can make you feel worse than you know than
Speaker 1: you actually do feel on on on day, on like
Speaker 1: days that you're feeling bad on your own, then you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be in those relationships. So I'm not here to
Speaker 1: say stay in a relationship. I'm not I'm not here
Speaker 1: to say don't be in a relationship. I'm here to say,
Speaker 1: do what is best for for your sanity at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. So what the hell are you
Speaker 1: even doing here, Vanessa? Then No, I completely agree with no.
Speaker 1: Stop that you probably have a hundred men just pining
Speaker 1: to spend five minutes with you. Um, but Erica with
Speaker 1: you in fighting, I you know, you have your first fight.
Speaker 1: I think that's not a bad thing either, because they're
Speaker 1: going to be fights in a relationship and you have
Speaker 1: to learn how the other and fights totally. You know,
Speaker 1: that's a very big part of a relationship, and so
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a bad thing. And I also think,
Speaker 1: like with obstacles within a relationship, if you want to
Speaker 1: make it work, I think you have to look at
Speaker 1: obstacles as an exterior force that's trying to you know,
Speaker 1: that something that you and your partner have to overcome together.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should ever look at an obstacle
Speaker 1: within a relationship as something that comes in between you two.
Speaker 1: It's something as Okay, we have this thing, we need
Speaker 1: to work together to try to overcome it. And then
Speaker 1: I think if you guys do that, your relationship will
Speaker 1: probably become stronger. I think you just changed my life
Speaker 1: with that, With that one thing between you, you just
Speaker 1: move over it together, changing lives email at a time.
Speaker 1: We have one more email for today. This is from
Speaker 1: Kara said. My name's Kara and I'm twenty four. I
Speaker 1: just moved to a new city a few months ago
Speaker 1: where I knew practically no one. Long story short, my
Speaker 1: boss played on a code softball team. They needed another girl,
Speaker 1: so they asked me to play Super fun love it.
Speaker 1: But there's a guy, my boss's friend. Yikes, that is
Speaker 1: super cute and I think he might be interested in me.
Speaker 1: This Sunday we had a game. They offered to buy
Speaker 1: me a beer. I've been day drinking and don't really
Speaker 1: like beer, so I declined like a dummy. My question
Speaker 1: is how do I let him know I'm interested without
Speaker 1: being weird? Did I ruin my chances? Is it weird
Speaker 1: that he's my boss's friend. I need help? Any advice
Speaker 1: would be appreciated. Love all y'all. I love the all y'all,
Speaker 1: but I listen every week the podcast on Facebook group
Speaker 1: have changed my life. Thank you for being a part
Speaker 1: of the Facebook group. Yes, you're the best. Care Um
Speaker 1: Wow that is I mean, I don't personally think it's
Speaker 1: weird to you know, if you want to date your
Speaker 1: boss's friends, be cautious about it. I just I wouldn't know. Dark.
Speaker 1: What would you do if you if you were interested
Speaker 1: in the girl, um, and you wanted to know if
Speaker 1: the girl was interested in you? How would you want
Speaker 1: her to reproach you. I'm very direct. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm very direct, probably right into MS and or like
Speaker 1: if I had, he's going to contact, she's gonna see
Speaker 1: him again. They plan a softball league, like she's to
Speaker 1: see him next Sunday. I played, and I can speak
Speaker 1: from personal experience because I've played co ed softball for
Speaker 1: many of years. It was fantastic, so much fun, and
Speaker 1: there's there's not like there's a lot of relationships that
Speaker 1: have formed from the softball team, which is great. Um
Speaker 1: actually hates when to talk about softball and it's like
Speaker 1: it's it's so funny. She's like, you're talking about softball again.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, it was my glory years. It was
Speaker 1: the most fun I've ever had. We got to day drink,
Speaker 1: we got to play softball. It was beautiful. It was great. Um.
Speaker 1: And so I think with this, I don't think you
Speaker 1: ruined your chances at all by declining the beer. I
Speaker 1: think you should have said yes. Of course. You know
Speaker 1: when he said, hey, you want to go grab a
Speaker 1: drink and be like, I'm not just just to say yes,
Speaker 1: and then you go and you get a water or
Speaker 1: soda and just be like, oh, I'm you know, kind
Speaker 1: of full. I've already had a couple of beers. I
Speaker 1: think he'd actually respect that. Um, but as long so
Speaker 1: next time, UM, he's probably gonna ask you out again
Speaker 1: because you don't really ask. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: He does. I would not if I was her, I
Speaker 1: would not wait for it. Let me put it that way,
Speaker 1: because he did ask once. So I think I think
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with Carol. You put some, you know,
Speaker 1: you show some ask him about a drink, you know.
Speaker 1: I think he'd love that. Yeah, just I think, like
Speaker 1: Vanessa said, be direct, go up and just say after
Speaker 1: the game, be like, hey, you want to go grab
Speaker 1: a drink? Sorry? You know, I'll take a rain check.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll take a rain check for last week.
Speaker 1: Let's go grab a drink. You know. Okay, But as
Speaker 1: for dating her boss's friend, that that gets a little
Speaker 1: sticky because that could end badly. Yeah, but I wouldn't
Speaker 1: think that far ahead. If this guy is your you know, husband,
Speaker 1: loving of your life, it's that part will all work
Speaker 1: itself out, you know, jobs will work itself out. Also,
Speaker 1: I guess in a way, they're all peers. Like they
Speaker 1: all play on this team together. So at that point whatever, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was the boss would be worse. Yea his friend.
Speaker 1: It's fine and she so the boss plays on the team, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the boss plays on the team as well. So
Speaker 1: I agree with you, Erica where it kind of brings
Speaker 1: him down to her level a little bit, where there
Speaker 1: were more friends, you know, so who says you can't
Speaker 1: date the boss's friend? So it seems yeah, it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's softball. You go ask for a drink. Could be
Speaker 1: a great Sunday you and softball. You're so hyped up.
Speaker 1: I'm dying to play sports. I haven't played sports and
Speaker 1: so long. I played when we were back in Virginia,
Speaker 1: Ashley and I played tennis, so I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta do something. And she's never played tennis. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's nice. She got it over the net a few times.
Speaker 1: She was getting better cut. Yeah, it was great. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get hurt of, you know, become the next
Speaker 1: Serena Williams. All right, before we go, we do have
Speaker 1: talk about last night's bachelorette and the whole Colon and
Speaker 1: Becca Saga. Um, yes, so Colton last night I was
Speaker 1: on the one on one told Becca he was a virgin.
Speaker 1: She got up from the table, Um had to contemplate
Speaker 1: about it, came back, and then everything was fine. But
Speaker 1: you know, Colin was swinting it out there for a
Speaker 1: little while. It honestly looked like when he first told her,
Speaker 1: like Becca was about to start laughing, which is why
Speaker 1: I thought she got the table. I don't think she was,
Speaker 1: but I think she actually. Becka tweeted yesterday during airing
Speaker 1: that she was like, I'm pretty sure I just got
Speaker 1: up to use the bathroom and so okay, there you go.
Speaker 1: That was coming from Becca's Twitter account. Um yeah, or
Speaker 1: maybe she just needed to like half five minutes to
Speaker 1: I come back within like with like a neutral reaction
Speaker 1: or you know, hum, so yikes. Yeah, it didn't look good.
Speaker 1: Didn't come across good, Like Becca didn't look good at
Speaker 1: that moment, Not for me, because like it's hard, right
Speaker 1: because especially somebody admitting that they're a virgin on live television,
Speaker 1: like we we all met Becca, super sweet woman, like gorgeous, sweet, funny,
Speaker 1: she has it all. I don't think I don't think
Speaker 1: it came across as um I can. I don't think
Speaker 1: it was something bad, you know, like she said in
Speaker 1: the tweets, she went to the bathroom and and uh,
Speaker 1: that's probably why it was edited that way. But I
Speaker 1: don't pick to her doing something like mean or malicious
Speaker 1: or disrespectful. And it does suck to have to talk
Speaker 1: about your virginity, Like obviously I'm engaged to Ashley, who
Speaker 1: had talked about for many years um, and so she
Speaker 1: had to deal with that. So she's had many thoughts
Speaker 1: about this that you can listen to almost famous podcasts
Speaker 1: she tells out all about it, um, but also specifically
Speaker 1: with me. I remember the first season of Paradise and
Speaker 1: Ashley and I had a fantasy suite day, and it
Speaker 1: was the whole thing was are you going to take
Speaker 1: Ashley's virginity? I mean there was articles right about it
Speaker 1: saying did Jared take Ashley's virginity? And that really sucks,
Speaker 1: you know, because it's it's one thing to you know,
Speaker 1: talk about physical intimacy on the show with fantasy suits
Speaker 1: because you know, you're two adults and you can have
Speaker 1: a conversation about it. But it's another to be like,
Speaker 1: did this woman lose her virginity on television? And so
Speaker 1: now it's the same thing with Colin, Like, um, it's
Speaker 1: curious to see if Colin makes it too fantasy suite,
Speaker 1: because obviously that's gonna be a huge topic now if
Speaker 1: he makes it, it's gonna be like, is Colin gonna
Speaker 1: lose his virginity to Becca? And that's gonna be the
Speaker 1: entire conversation exactly. And I wonder if that was going
Speaker 1: through Becca's head when and he like sat there and
Speaker 1: assured her. He's like, I'm not waiting until marriage. I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for the right person. I don't know if losing
Speaker 1: your virginity at the same time that that woman is
Speaker 1: possibly sleeping with two other men is necessarily the right
Speaker 1: time to lose it. But in terms of Becca choosing
Speaker 1: a life partner, like, wouldn't you want to know? Of course,
Speaker 1: that's absolutely you can't understand that, Like if the physical
Speaker 1: part of relationship is is still a very big part
Speaker 1: of the relationship, you know. And so I'm not saying
Speaker 1: there's nothing bad about being a virgin. You should never
Speaker 1: be vertyen shamed if that's an actual thing, Um, which
Speaker 1: the guys were virgins shaming Colton last night, Like back
Speaker 1: in the teom, He's going home. Yeah, that was super
Speaker 1: I hated one thing I hated. I don't know who
Speaker 1: said it. I think it might have been Garrett, who
Speaker 1: is like, he's got skeletons in his closet. He's got
Speaker 1: skeletons in his closet because he's a virgin, Like, get
Speaker 1: out of here, bro I hated when he said that. Um,
Speaker 1: but God, that pissed me off so much when he
Speaker 1: said that he's got skeletons in his closet. Really, you
Speaker 1: think being a virgin means you have a skeleton in
Speaker 1: your closet? Get out of my face. That's also coming
Speaker 1: from a man who had like a two month marriage.
Speaker 1: I would say, sorry, that's more of a skeleton than
Speaker 1: being a virgin. But again, if I was Becca trying
Speaker 1: to pick my husband and I'm like, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to get to taste the sample before I buy
Speaker 1: the whole package, I don't know what I'm saying. That
Speaker 1: was a good analogy, Erica was really good. Whatever. I'd
Speaker 1: probably be a little concerned. Of course, you have to
Speaker 1: do you have to know, you have to know where
Speaker 1: each other's and the thing's probably thinking like, okay, if
Speaker 1: she's not a hundred percent sure about him, and it
Speaker 1: does get to that point and she doesn't pick him.
Speaker 1: She doesn't want end up in that situation either, like yeah, right,
Speaker 1: you can't undersell that either, like that's you're on TV.
Speaker 1: Like and also like you know if you bring him
Speaker 1: to the fantasy suite, like it's going to be talked about,
Speaker 1: So she brings him to him, she has to be
Speaker 1: sure that like or you know that she's unsure whether
Speaker 1: she's gonna pickhim or not, if that makes any sense,
Speaker 1: Like she can't know that he's not the one and
Speaker 1: bringing the fantasy suits at this point. Yes, it's whenever
Speaker 1: the bachelor bachelor releases the person with children because they
Speaker 1: just know they're not right exactly. I want to send
Speaker 1: you back to your kids. I don't want to drag
Speaker 1: you anymore. Um, yeah, so I agree. We'll see al right, guys. Well,
Speaker 1: great episode and thanks for everybody tuning in Erica. Thanks
Speaker 1: for filling in from Mark Easton. You were wonderful, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: your voice sounds beautiful as always. Miss you. I know, Dean,
Speaker 1: we miss you too, So we gotta get Dean back
Speaker 1: in here. Vanessa, you gotta come back to Los Angeles
Speaker 1: to come in studio so we can record, so we
Speaker 1: can hang out, grab some dinner in l A, have
Speaker 1: a good time. And thank you for everybody for listening
Speaker 1: to another episode of Help I Suck a Dating. Please
Speaker 1: email us what's the email Eastern? That's uh, I suck
Speaker 1: at Dating at I heeart media dot com. I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating at I heart media dot com. Please send
Speaker 1: more of your emails. Joined the Facebook book group help
Speaker 1: I Suck a Dating on Facebook. We love listening to
Speaker 1: all your stories. Uh, please keep them coming. Thank you
Speaker 1: again for helping, and hopefully next week we'll suck a
Speaker 1: little less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean,
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts.