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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of My Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and Shonda land Audio. Hi, guys, it's Katie Lows and

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Speaker 1: welcome back to Katie's Crib, the podcast for real conversations

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Speaker 1: about all things parenting. Okay, on this episode, in honor

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Speaker 1: of Father's Day, I am so incredibly happy to have

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Speaker 1: my friend Bryce Dallice Howard joining us to talk about

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Speaker 1: a lot of things, but in particular to celebrate extraordinary Dad's. Now,

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Speaker 1: you guys know Bryce as a massively talented actress. She

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Speaker 1: started in Rocketman, Jurassic World, Falling Kingdom, Pete Dragon, The Help,

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Speaker 1: and that amazingly incredibly terrifying Black Mirror episode that messed

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Speaker 1: us all up a lot, just to name a few.

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Speaker 1: She's also been super busy in the director seat. She

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Speaker 1: has a documentary called Dad's It offers a firsthand glimpse

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Speaker 1: into what fatherhood looks like today all across the globe,

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Speaker 1: and in addition to bringing me to tears like a

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Speaker 1: hoursand times while I watched it, the film is just

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Speaker 1: a very heartening picture that we don't get to see enough. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna get into all that, but first I

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Speaker 1: want to take a moment to check in with all

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Speaker 1: of you. How are you guys doing? Hi, Mama's how

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Speaker 1: are you? Especially during this time, I want to hear

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Speaker 1: from you and what questions you have about what's going

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Speaker 1: on and ways that Katie's Crib can help all of

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Speaker 1: these huge, huge things that we are dealing with right now.

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Speaker 1: I plan to have episodes coming up where we talk

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Speaker 1: about coronavirus in pregnancy, coronavirus in toddler's We're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a pediatrician come on and talk to us as well

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Speaker 1: as a O B who specializing in coronavirus right now.

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Speaker 1: I also would love to do a whole um episode

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Speaker 1: on how to raise an anti racist kid? So what

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Speaker 1: do you guys think? I would love to hear your opinions.

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Speaker 1: You can email me your questions at Katie's Crib at

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Speaker 1: Shohnda land dot com. Okay, without further ado, here's my

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Speaker 1: dear friend, Bryce dallas Howard. Guys, Bryce Dallas Howard is

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Speaker 1: here for Bryce. I can't express Oh. First of all,

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Speaker 1: we have to say congratulations on graduating. Right Oh my gosh, oh.

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Speaker 1: Bryce dallas Hower and I went to school the arts

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Speaker 1: together at n y U. Some of the greatest memories

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Speaker 1: I have of how I formed into being a person artistically, personally, professionally, whatever,

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Speaker 1: all those things. Bryce and I got to do a

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Speaker 1: show together in college, and you are just the most

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Speaker 1: exceptional actress. Like then, now, oh my god, I used

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Speaker 1: to I was a small part in the play. Bryce

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Speaker 1: was the lead obviously, duh. And I just remember, like,

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Speaker 1: not small. I just remember sitting back there and just

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Speaker 1: being like, she is the most Like I just I'm

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Speaker 1: such a fan of your work. I'm so glad I

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Speaker 1: got to work with you on stage in college. I'm

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Speaker 1: so I'm just so glad to know you on so

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Speaker 1: many levels. And every time I get to see you,

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Speaker 1: which isn't enough, but when I do get to see

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Speaker 1: you at Hollywood functions or whatever, you just really feel

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Speaker 1: like like a safe haven of home to me. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's because we grew up together or

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Speaker 1: like those were such formative years. Um. Also, your then

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Speaker 1: boyfriend now husband, Seth Gable, uh was roommates with a

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Speaker 1: guy I was dating in college. So who just had

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Speaker 1: a baby, No way, Oh my god, congratulations, Jason Low

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Speaker 1: of course he had a girl naming He's wonderful. Jason

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Speaker 1: he's a dear friend. I love him to death. He

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Speaker 1: I dated him in college. He was best friends with Seth.

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Speaker 1: They lived together, so like Bryce and I were really

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Speaker 1: finding ourselves on stage in their apartment in Brooklyn, you

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Speaker 1: know all these things. Yes, we were the girlfriends, um

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Speaker 1: and you were just the first person I knew who

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Speaker 1: like got married and had kits like you were right away,

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Speaker 1: like it was you were nowhere that we were nowhere

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Speaker 1: near that. But like you fell in love with our

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Speaker 1: college boyfriends in a way where you were going to

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Speaker 1: be with him forever. That was not the story with

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Speaker 1: me and Jason lou Although I love you Jason Luke.

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Speaker 1: Congrats on your baby. Um Tell, did you always know

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Speaker 1: you wanted to be a mom? Yes, yes, definitely. Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, thank you, Katie. I feel the same

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Speaker 1: as you about you, and you were just always a

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Speaker 1: light and always someone that I felt like I could

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Speaker 1: always just be myself with. And like I'm a little

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Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm sure I'm sure you'll you'll understand this,

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Speaker 1: Like it was like the early auts and like the

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Speaker 1: hipster movement was just like being born and like you know,

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Speaker 1: in Brooklyn and stuff and um and and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: was a dork now dork will always be a dork.

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Speaker 1: But it was like there were those like hipster vibes

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Speaker 1: going on, and so there was a little bit of

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Speaker 1: like everyone was like ironic and very cool and maybe

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Speaker 1: a tiny bit aloof and I just always felt with you.

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Speaker 1: I was like a kindred spirit, like someone who I

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Speaker 1: admire and I love and I feel just safe with

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Speaker 1: just totally safe because we were like, what are we

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Speaker 1: doing in this hip This Brooklyn apartment was so disgusting.

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Speaker 1: There was like three boys living there that you had

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Speaker 1: to get walk through each of their bedrooms to get

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Speaker 1: to a bathroom. Like it was so gross and it

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Speaker 1: was not cool Green Point Williamsburg like what it is now.

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Speaker 1: I mean this was twenty years ago and it was

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Speaker 1: not right. The hipster thing was just starting. But you

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Speaker 1: and Seth were the real deal. Like yeah, it worked out.

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Speaker 1: And then luckily enough, Dane who was the third It

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Speaker 1: was Dane Jason and Seth. Dane is now my brother

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Speaker 1: in law. They just had married my sister. They just

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Speaker 1: had their third baby. They just had a girl. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. So the only pair that didn't get in

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Speaker 1: on getting to call Bryce a sister in law. While

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Speaker 1: that wouldn't have worked because you don't have related but

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Speaker 1: now Dane is your brother in law, which is crazy, yes,

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Speaker 1: and so fun and all of the other memory I

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Speaker 1: have is when we were doing the play. I remember,

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Speaker 1: first of all, I didn't even know Ron Howard was

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Speaker 1: your dad, Like I had no idea. And then I

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Speaker 1: remember we were doing the play for Saints in Mexico,

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Speaker 1: which again to go along with the whole like hipster college,

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Speaker 1: like New York twenty years ago, you know, us coming

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Speaker 1: off the train and like living in New York City

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Speaker 1: being you know, we were these lost It was devised theater, yes,

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Speaker 1: and we were like we thought we were making the

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Speaker 1: greatest art that has ever been created. I thought, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking for you, but I thought we were. I

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Speaker 1: still feel to this day that's yeah. Maybe it was.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was. We were. We were making very experimental

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Speaker 1: theater and it was like opening night and you were

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Speaker 1: running off somewhere and you're like, oh, just let me

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Speaker 1: know if if my family gets here, And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're sharing, are we? All the girls were one dressing

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Speaker 1: room and I was like, how well, I know it's

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Speaker 1: your family because I didn't know who's your dad's one heard,

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Speaker 1: and You're like, it's a like pack of redheads because

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Speaker 1: like your entire fan you have twin sisters who are redhead,

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Speaker 1: your brother's redhead, your mom and dad are redhead. And

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Speaker 1: then I was like, oh my god, I think her

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Speaker 1: dad is run Howard. Like it dawned on me at

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Speaker 1: that point. And then you got yes, and then you

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Speaker 1: got flowers delivered to the dressing room from your godfather,

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Speaker 1: Henry Winkler, And I was like, this is the most

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Speaker 1: famous person I have ever known in my entire life.

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Speaker 1: And she's this beautiful and she's this talent, and this

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Speaker 1: is so dumb. Ok, those are my bright style. It's

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Speaker 1: like I mean, but honestly, I have to stay just like,

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Speaker 1: given the fact that we're talking about dads and stuff,

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Speaker 1: I feel I've been so lucky in the dad department,

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Speaker 1: Like Seth is an incredible dad as my husband, but

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Speaker 1: even back then, like we're like eighteen and eighteen twenty

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Speaker 1: years old, like my dad my godfather, Like now like

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Speaker 1: Josh Gad is the godfather of my children. Like it's

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Speaker 1: just like, you know, just men showing up for the

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Speaker 1: women in their lives and I just always felt that

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Speaker 1: that's what I should expect. Absolutely. Did you know that

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Speaker 1: Seth was going to be Okay, Seth is a very

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Speaker 1: involved father. You always knew you wanted to be a mom.

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Speaker 1: It was a shock to you that you did get pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Very elite and it wasn't an easy road for you,

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Speaker 1: right to get pregnant, like you, well, I I had.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I definitely wanted to be a parent,

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Speaker 1: but um, Seth and I weren't married yet, and uh,

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Speaker 1: and we and I was like young, and that was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do it in the future or whatever. And

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Speaker 1: simultaneously there were like some like not to go too far.

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Speaker 1: But I think like your audience convibe with this. There

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Speaker 1: was some kind of coological like complications. And there was

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Speaker 1: a moment when I thought like, oh my gosh, like

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Speaker 1: this might not be possible. Um, and so I was

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Speaker 1: really proactively working on kind of balancing everything and but

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Speaker 1: with no intention of getting pregnant at all. And UM

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Speaker 1: and Seth and I got married. I was doing Spider

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Speaker 1: Man three at the time, and UM had been doing

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Speaker 1: like all of these stunts and like dying, like bleaching

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Speaker 1: my hair and just all this stuff and then um,

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Speaker 1: and we finished shooting two days before my wedding, and

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Speaker 1: so I was just like go go go go, go, go,

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Speaker 1: go go go. And then I got married. And I

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Speaker 1: remember the morning after I got married, I woke up

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I feel so nauseous. But

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Speaker 1: I didn't kind of connect the dots. And I went

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Speaker 1: on a trip with my family, um instead of like

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Speaker 1: a honeymoon proper honeymoon thing, and but it was super

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Speaker 1: fun and we were all on a boat, and so

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Speaker 1: I thought I was sea sick the whole time. And

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Speaker 1: then finally yep, nope, not at all. Finally got got

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Speaker 1: a test, found out I was pregnant. Um. And then

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Speaker 1: when I came home and went to the ganne coologists,

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Speaker 1: I was like eleven weeks pregnant. So I had had

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Speaker 1: no idea and um, And in retrospect, I'm sort of like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's great, because like it would have maybe like getting

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Speaker 1: married and then also being like, oh my gosh, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be a mom. Like it was great to be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that chapter is done, We're married, the wedding is out

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Speaker 1: of the way, and now now the focus is starting

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Speaker 1: a family. Together, and I was instantly ecstatic Seth when

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm pregnant. He literally it was like

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Speaker 1: in a movie. He was like standing um in front

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Speaker 1: of a chair and he did the like slow sit

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Speaker 1: down and then he like went and put his hands

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Speaker 1: like up to his head and was just like in

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Speaker 1: this like like position of like defeat it. Well, he was,

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Speaker 1: so where are you twenty five four? I mean, come on,

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Speaker 1: a man at twenty four, that's a huge just got

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Speaker 1: married his wife's Spider Man three. Like he now he's pregnant,

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Speaker 1: Like that just seems like I mean, it's a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. And I was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be such a natural mom, Like I'm the oldest of four,

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Speaker 1: I'm the oldest of all my cousins, like a rod

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Speaker 1: a daycare, a little like years and years and years.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't any of all that kind of stuff. And and

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Speaker 1: then when I when I gave birth, for a myriad

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Speaker 1: of reasons, I suffered really hardcore with postpartum depression exact.

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Speaker 1: On the other hand, I had this distinct memory where

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Speaker 1: I gave birth and you know, you're like it's like

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Speaker 1: a fever dream, you know, and you're like oh maybe

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Speaker 1: it all this kind of stuff and then and then

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Speaker 1: they're sort of like dealing with me in the placenta.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm really going there right now. We talked

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Speaker 1: about a lot of vaginas. I mean, we've had sex therapist,

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Speaker 1: pelvic floor specialist, vaginas ripping. It doesn't matter like any beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It's very gorgeous, gorgeous, so like in that like period

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Speaker 1: of time after bird like yeah, after birth, when you're

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Speaker 1: like the placenta is happening. They gave THEO to Seth

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Speaker 1: and Seth took off his shirts so skin to skin,

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Speaker 1: and I just saw him holding cradling THEO and whispering

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Speaker 1: in his ear. Anything is possible, just again and again,

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Speaker 1: anything is possible. Anything is possible. And that wasn't something

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Speaker 1: that we like strategized together, Like this was just Seth

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Speaker 1: stepping into this new realm of his life. But what's

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Speaker 1: really into well, what's interesting is that I what I

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Speaker 1: realized in making Dads is that there's no right of

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Speaker 1: passage for men when they become fathers. Zero. Like as

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Speaker 1: far as my research, I mean, I couldn't find one

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Speaker 1: really certainly not a mainstream right of passage like say

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Speaker 1: a baby shower is for women. And so this this

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Speaker 1: lack of acknowledgment that your life is going to completely change,

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Speaker 1: I think, kind of leave men out to dry a little.

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Speaker 1: And the fact that Seth had those instincts was was

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Speaker 1: a gift. It's very normal, but it's not that we

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Speaker 1: always need to expect that. And the same goes for women.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't have the instincts that Seth was happening.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't. I was kind of in this existential crisis, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I had you had, really bet So

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Speaker 1: how your postpartumentpression. I've read an articles out there and stuff.

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Speaker 1: It was really you had really long dark Mine was

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Speaker 1: only like six weeks and it started to lift and shift.

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Speaker 1: But I can remember that's when I realized I always

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Speaker 1: knew and I'm sure you did too, because we've known

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Speaker 1: Seth since he was like, this is who Seth and

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Speaker 1: Adam are. But like I always knew Adam was going

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Speaker 1: to be a very very hands on, very involved. If

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Speaker 1: it's not, then God knows, there's a lot of seventy

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Speaker 1: thirty and it's him, to be honest, like to be

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Speaker 1: completely frank about that, I know, Like same with Seth,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like when I came home and I

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Speaker 1: didn't connect to albeit all right away, and I was

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Speaker 1: dreaming of moving to Europe and changing my name and

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Speaker 1: I wanted a fake identity and why did I do this?

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Speaker 1: And similarly, you had said an article you called THEO

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Speaker 1: it because you didn't have any connection. I had the

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Speaker 1: same And Adam was taking the night nurse was over,

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Speaker 1: and Adam was like, holy funk, I got to write

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Speaker 1: down everything this person is saying, because I don't I

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Speaker 1: think I'm going to be alone in this, like I

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Speaker 1: don't think Katie is available, Like I better figure out

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Speaker 1: how to do this. Did you know when you would

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Speaker 1: postpartum depression? Did Seth really have to step up? So

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Speaker 1: here's what's super messed up, and this is why, and

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Speaker 1: this is and I did it differently the second time.

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Speaker 1: For this reason. Seth had a job that he had

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Speaker 1: to go to five days after THEO was born. And

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Speaker 1: we also in this sort of like we were like

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Speaker 1: in this sort of hippie dippy phase of our life.

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Speaker 1: We were like, maybe we'll have a postpartum due lah,

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Speaker 1: we can really do it all on our own. And

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Speaker 1: then the postpartum dula actually wasn't available because I went

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Speaker 1: so over and then she had another family she needed

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Speaker 1: to go with, and so it was just me and

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Speaker 1: and UM and THEO because Seth was gone. And it

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Speaker 1: was like that for a while and um and and

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Speaker 1: that was something that really especially at night. We eventually

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Speaker 1: because I actually had to two weeks after he was born,

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Speaker 1: I needed to go do press for a Spider Man

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my gosh, I myself, how

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Speaker 1: did I can't? It wasn't. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: pretty at all. Um and uh, like not a good

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Speaker 1: move in general, but um, but because we hadn't kind

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Speaker 1: of like anticipated what this post like birth period of

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Speaker 1: time was going to be like, Seth just wasn't. He

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Speaker 1: literally wasn't physically there for quite a while. And then um,

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Speaker 1: and then I went into doing a movie when THEO

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Speaker 1: was just a few months old, and so he was

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Speaker 1: with me, and there was a caregiver with me, which

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Speaker 1: obviously made a huge difference, but I was without, I

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Speaker 1: was separate from Seth. And so it wasn't until THEO

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Speaker 1: was like really like six seven months old that they

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Speaker 1: were um that he was able to like fully fully

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Speaker 1: fully engaged just because they were in the same place,

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Speaker 1: and that just like having the parenting kind of everything

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Speaker 1: on me when I was going through this like total

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Speaker 1: just falling into a bottomless pit. It felt like was

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Speaker 1: was really confusing, and then also doing press at the

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Speaker 1: same time, I was trying to put words to the experience.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, they're like, you guys, be so happy. I'm

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Speaker 1: like I'm so happy, and I'm like I'm enthusiastic about everything.

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Speaker 1: So it just felt so the whole thing was just

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Speaker 1: really really I mean defining it was. It was a

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Speaker 1: defining moment for me. And when I had Beatrice, Seth

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Speaker 1: was working and he was working in Vancouver her and

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Speaker 1: so I decided to take CEO and go there and

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Speaker 1: give birth in Vancouver, which was a really great experience.

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Speaker 1: And actually, because I had a history of postpartum depression

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Speaker 1: UM even though I only went there when I was

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Speaker 1: like I was like thirty something weeks, it was like

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Speaker 1: really kind of near the end, and so I had

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Speaker 1: to meet a doctor like just like yeah, exactly. But

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Speaker 1: they have systems there in Canada where they have um

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Speaker 1: uh mental health reproductive units in every hospital, and so

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Speaker 1: they actually put me with both a psychiatrist and a

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Speaker 1: psychologist prior to giving birth, so that they would have

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Speaker 1: a basically, it's amazing, it was. It changed my life.

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Speaker 1: So I had a basine, and then after I gave

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Speaker 1: birth with Beatrice, they would have they had an understanding

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Speaker 1: of where I was at before. Did you have any

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Speaker 1: of that with Beatrice? Did you have postpartum depression with Beatrice? I?

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Speaker 1: With Beatrice, I had so much. Okay, So here's what happens.

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Speaker 1: So Seth was working and the day she was born

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Speaker 1: two weeks late as well, the day of my do date,

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Speaker 1: I fell and I fell in a restaurant. I was

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Speaker 1: walking into a restaurant and there was like water and

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Speaker 1: I who yeah, and I and I like, um, my

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Speaker 1: pelvis came apart and and so I was in excruciating pain.

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Speaker 1: They brought me to the hospital. They're like, we need

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Speaker 1: to monitor you for twenty four hours and see like

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Speaker 1: if the baby isn't distressed. The baby was fine. My

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Speaker 1: pelvis was wrecked. They couldn't give me painkillers because I'm

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Speaker 1: still pregnant. I um called a few doctors and got

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Speaker 1: some second opinions. You're not this this part is going

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Speaker 1: to blow your mind. They were like, Okay, your pelvis

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Speaker 1: is wildly compromised. So if you have a C section,

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Speaker 1: your abdominal wall was compromised, you might not be able

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Speaker 1: to walk for up to six months, like in a

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Speaker 1: way that you actually feel like cool and it's fine. Um,

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Speaker 1: so you're going for a vaginal birth. And I was

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Speaker 1: like okay. And the first the THEO I didn't have

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Speaker 1: any It was totally unmedicated and like two contractions, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I've made a terrible mistake. But it

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00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 1: was meant to be a home birth, and so it's

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Speaker 1: like that just all like it was. It was unmedicated.

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Speaker 1: Um was Beatrice. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get anupper girl. But then as I was getting

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Speaker 1: closer to it, I was like, oh, maybe I could

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Speaker 1: just do it. When my pelvits went out, they were like,

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Speaker 1: just so you know, the only way you will be

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Speaker 1: able to push is if we give you an uppergirl.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, got it. Copy that totally.

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Speaker 1: So I was just at home for two weeks, had

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Speaker 1: a wheelchair, had a walker to go to bathroom. Like

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Speaker 1: it was wild. I'm so quite right now because my

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Speaker 1: jaw is on the ground, like I it was so insane,

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Speaker 1: I know. And I was like and my whole my

354
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Speaker 1: whole family was super freaked because they were like all

355
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Speaker 1: we wanted to do is for Bryce to not have

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Speaker 1: depression again. And now there's this and like what and

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Speaker 1: her and her husband is working on a show and

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Speaker 1: she's in Canada and like, you know, like family wasn't

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00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: there at the time, so what's going to happen? So

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00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: I had in advanced um scheduled a baby nurse and

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Speaker 1: she was like this like twenty seven year old like

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Speaker 1: baby nurse, like super like young, and like yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: go get her. Awesome, awesome, awesome, and she I called

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Speaker 1: her and I was like, here's what happened. This is

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Speaker 1: going on, Like I don't know when the baby's going

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Speaker 1: to be born, but it's going to be kind of

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Speaker 1: a different situation than we anticipated. And she was like,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna don't worry. This is going to be totally okay.

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Speaker 1: And UM and I I eventually when I gave birth,

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Speaker 1: it was I was two weeks later. I got like

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Speaker 1: wheeled into the hospital. They gave me an epidural before

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Speaker 1: inducing me, and these were all things that like in

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Speaker 1: my hippie deppie life. I was like, no, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not saying that it's like making the option

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Speaker 1: to not participate in that is at all a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: I was. I was just very binary my thinking. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I was your birth plan, Like you were

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Speaker 1: like right right, you were very much like this is

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Speaker 1: the birth plan that I've always said for my self.

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Speaker 1: And like, I also know your mom was your mom's

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Speaker 1: labors all unmedicated. Yeah, I think so, I think so, Um, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think with my sisters, because twins, she had vaginal

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Speaker 1: births with my sisters. Um, and she I think she

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00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 1: might have gotten an aperturel near the end. And she

385
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Speaker 1: said that she pushed, she pushed my first sister out

386
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Speaker 1: and then they said, okay, here it comes a second.

387
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Speaker 1: And she looked at them and she said, do I

388
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: have to feel that's amazing? The only reason I asked

389
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: is because I feel like a lot of times I

390
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 1: feel like your mom was featured in the dad's um

391
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 1: in the show you directed, and and because I feel

392
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: like I got this vibe from your mom, like she

393
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: videotaped all your birds and she was like super into it,

394
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: Like I just got this vibe like maybe that's just

395
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: what you grew up thinking, like, oh, I'm going to

396
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: have an unmedicated birth, and it's like so natural and

397
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: so like a part of mother hood and all this

398
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 1: kind of ship where I grew up with the mom

399
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: who was like I didn't know what the fuss was happening.

400
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 1: I was on so many drugs. I didn't even know

401
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: which way was up. So I was like, oh, great,

402
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a lot of drugs, like as many

403
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 1: drugs as possible, because I do not want to feel this.

404
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: But that's like the story I had been told my

405
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: whole life, you know what I mean. My mom I'm

406
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 1: remembering now. So my mom, she did get an epidural

407
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: with the twins. She didn't with my brother. She didn't

408
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 1: with me until the very like it was like twenty

409
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,439
Speaker 1: hours in or something crazy. She called it the breath

410
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: of God. And I remember her saying with the first bird,

411
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: She's like, please stay open, just stay open. And so

412
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: you know, I think I was just much more prepared

413
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: the second time for to be supported, and even though

414
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 1: all the crazy stuff that happened happened, I was still

415
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: supported and um and so while I did definitely. And

416
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: and the baby nurse. Actually she she mentioned to me

417
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: like she started to see some signs and stuff, and

418
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, I would love for you

419
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: to to, you know, mention these things with the therapist

420
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: you're working with. But I was because I had be

421
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: interested in Canada. I was I had access to the

422
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: services for a year. Oh, I mean, come on, and

423
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: can we talk a lot about on Katie's where we

424
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: talk a lot about Like here in America, they give

425
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 1: you like after you have your baby and you go

426
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: to your six week check up, which is the one

427
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: thing that's covered by insurance, that's fifteen minutes, you get

428
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: a stupid fucking piece of paper that has five questions

429
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: on it with different levels of smiley faces. Right, there's

430
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 1: the sad face, the face that has a smile that's

431
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: a line, or the smile, and you go through all

432
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: the five and you're just supposed to say, do you

433
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: think you're do you want to kill yourself? Do you

434
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 1: want to I mean, and this is how they assess

435
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: whether or not you have postpartum depression. First of all,

436
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: it's coming way too late. Six weeks is too late.

437
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 1: You've already lost your mind and like it's just not

438
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 1: it's it's just not good enough. Like it's just not

439
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 1: a good enough system at all. And I just encourage

440
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: new moms. I'm like, I had a long conversation with

441
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: Adam before I had Albie where I was like, listen

442
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: to me, if two weeks go by after I have

443
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: this kid and you don't recognize me as the person

444
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: you've been in love with for thirteen years, you have

445
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,959
Speaker 1: to make a lot of sucking phone calls. And here

446
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: are the phone calls I need you to make, Like,

447
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: here's my therapist. Let's get a psychologist on speed dial.

448
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: Let's just make sure that I have the group around

449
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: in case I need them, you know, Like, um, and

450
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: I just think women are just super unprepared, and I

451
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 1: think we do a terrible job in America taking care

452
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: of our women post part of It's ridiculous. Absolutely. What's

453
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: interesting is actually one of the reasons why I wanted

454
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: to make this movie actually had to do with paternity leave. Yes,

455
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: that's just what I'm talking about. Get into this. Yes,

456
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 1: it was. It was shocking. The statistics shocking. Um, I'm

457
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: not going to give exact numbers because it's it's changing

458
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: and it's a little bit different, but it's like so

459
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 1: so forgive some generalizations, but um what I learned is

460
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: that for the majority of men all over the globe

461
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: who receive paid paternity leave, they don't take it. So

462
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: what's going on? What's going on if fathers who are

463
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: receiving paid paternity leave are not taking advantage of it?

464
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 1: And when we actually, like when you look into it.

465
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: And I worked with um an organization called the Promundo

466
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: Institute in Brazil and they're really they're right at the

467
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: forefront of this of trying to kind of solve what

468
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: like what is going on and what changes can we

469
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: make to support our fathers and to shift this and

470
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 1: and basically what what is happening globally is there is

471
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:04,120
Speaker 1: a stigma around fathers being caregivers that if fathers are caregivers,

472
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: then they are therefore not providers. And if they're not providers,

473
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: then they're lazy. Then they're not showing up for the

474
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: men not men that they're they're not men, they're not masculine,

475
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: they're not better And this idea, this notion of you

476
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: get the paid paternity leave, but your boss is like

477
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: come back when you're when you're ready, it's like, no,

478
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: come back in six weeks. You know, there's a set

479
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: period of time. It's not like that they get to

480
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: pick or choose when they come back, or even worse,

481
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: it's like, oh yeah, they're taking their paternity leave. Like clearly,

482
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if this guy is really

483
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: committed to his job because you know, he took he

484
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: took his paternity leave. He leaves early from work sometimes

485
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: to go to a game, Like I don't I don't

486
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: know about this guy. If we want to be you know,

487
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: focusing on on leveraging someone like this, and so that's

488
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: just it's asked backwards. It's I remember it in the

489
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: in it in the move in Dad's it was like

490
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,959
Speaker 1: it hit me, like I was like, oh yeah, Like

491
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: if the dad or the partner like can't take maternity leave,

492
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: who's supposed to take care of the mom? Like Adam

493
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 1: was so key in my caretaking um because I couldn't walk,

494
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: and because I was sitting on donuts, and because I

495
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: was struggling with emotional breakdowns every hour, crying for no reason,

496
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: and because breastfeeding was such a struggle and was so scary,

497
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 1: and all of these things but like he Adam was

498
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: serious about it. He took a three month paternity leave

499
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: on his own, not paid, Like he just just told

500
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: his agent and managers, I don't want a single audition.

501
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: I'm not working. Call me after January. Like I'm only

502
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: going to get this a couple of times in my life.

503
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: If I'm lucky and I there's no acting job or

504
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: opportunity that's worth it to me. I just don't care

505
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: which how I mean, listen, Adam sapirow Is, you know

506
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: I married the guy. But anyway, Um, why is I

507
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: love him? But why? I mean, I'm hoping this film

508
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 1: and can change this, But like how I really feel

509
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: like you're shifting the narrative. So you guys know, like

510
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: in this um documentary that Bryce directed so beautifully, we're

511
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: looking at dad's in the caretaking role. Some of the

512
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 1: dad's featured in it are like stay at home dads.

513
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: Some of the dads are working and caretaking like a

514
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: huge load with the mom um. Some and it's just

515
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 1: and it's all over the world. There's dads of Japan,

516
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 1: there's dad in Brazil, there's a dad in Maryland, There's

517
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: a dad. I mean, it's showing stuff. All over. But

518
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: I do think it's such there's such stigmas attached to

519
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: like dad's not being the providers. It's really sucks, Like

520
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: it's just the worst. Like what was your reason for

521
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: making the film? Was that part of it was that

522
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: the paternity leave thing? Like what what inspired it that

523
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: we become what we see what we see modeled for

524
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: us either in our own households or we see modeled

525
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: for us, you know, out in our culture on our TV,

526
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: on our phones, et cetera. And for such a long

527
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: time now it's been so obvious to me that I'm

528
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 1: just not seeing the dads that I know in my

529
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: life depicted on television. Like the dads on television are

530
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: often like they're they're like sort of like loser dads,

531
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: Like that's that's what seems to be more entertaining or something.

532
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: Or they're like over the top superstar dads, you know,

533
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: and and that's that's a great thing to celebrate. But

534
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: the reality is is that most fathers, a vast majority

535
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: of fathers are engaged, are totally committed to being remarkable

536
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: parents are constantly trying and growing, and they're not being

537
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: acknowledged like they are left off like, for instance, I

538
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: I was making this movie and there was at my

539
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: kids school. They were the texting chain that was started

540
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: for moms, And I asked, could that's beyond it? But

541
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: it was for moms? And I was like, what are

542
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: you telling my husband? First of all, I'm not going

543
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,959
Speaker 1: to be able to respond to things because I'm I'm

544
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: I'm working or whatever. I'm really directing Mandalorian right this

545
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: second until my phone is off today, you know when

546
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: was off today, tomorrow, the next day. And so therefore

547
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: the person who I trust, the person whose responsibility it is,

548
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: the person who deserves to be included and acknowledged, is

549
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: not And that's not like I mean that what the

550
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: way that I just said that seems like super duper

551
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: damning and and it's I don't mean it to be

552
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: because um, because it's like, you know, there's like this,

553
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: having a supportive group of mothers is crucial, absolutely crucial,

554
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: but we leave no room for fathers. And living across

555
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: the street from us UM for many many years was

556
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: a family where the mom worked and the dad was

557
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: a stay at home dad, and they had a son

558
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: and a daughter who are the same exact ages as

559
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: our kids, and he homeschooled them, and so our kids

560
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: would constantly come home from school and just run over

561
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: there and they would just be with Ja and Jay

562
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: would be like watching all four kids. I was like,

563
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: how are you doing this? Man? And uh THEO was

564
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 1: seven at the time. And after about a month or

565
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: two of this kind of consistent routine, he said to us,

566
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: he said, I know what I want to be when

567
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: I grew up. And we were like what And he said,

568
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: to stay at home dad. And I realized that if

569
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: he had never seen Jay, he never would have known

570
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: that that was something that he could aspire to, that

571
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: that was a part of his purpose on this planet.

572
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: And yet with little girls, it's like they're literally eighteen

573
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: months old. You're like, here's a baby that you have

574
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: a little bit. You have a toy baby doll that

575
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: you can burp and give babas and like all this crappy.

576
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: It's like they're like doing us. And again, it's not

577
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: not to vilify that, but why why are we leaving

578
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: our our boys out? You know, why why are we

579
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: saying that they are not a value in this area?

580
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: Because it's so wrongheaded and it's it's not what boys

581
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: want and it's not what men want. And so, um,

582
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: we are living in a time when we are publicly

583
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: able to for the first time safely say what we

584
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: what we hope are our boys and men will aspire to.

585
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: We can safely say these things now because of the

586
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: Me too movement. We can say what we don't want

587
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: them to do, and we must say what we want

588
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,719
Speaker 1: them to do. We must leave that space. And so

589
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 1: it's not fair for um, you know, like it's essential

590
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: that my son understands consent. It's it's essential that my

591
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 1: son understands white privilege. It's essential that my son understands

592
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: about what it is to be a human being in

593
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: the world. But it's equally essential that that my son

594
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: understands that he has as much opportunities as my daughter does,

595
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: especially when it comes to how he wants to create

596
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: his family and the role that he wants to play

597
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: in his family. And that is something that has just

598
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: been just generation after generation undermined, just always to the

599
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: point where I realized when when we were making the

600
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: movie and I was pulling footage in from Andy Griffith Show,

601
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: which was a show that I think was a really

602
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: good example of what a father, son relationship can be

603
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: like and you know the kind of like how kind

604
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: of how to raise a young man in a way

605
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: where you're involved your president. You know, there's integrity all

606
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: of that. His mom's mom was dead right, there couldn't

607
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: even be a mother a part of it in order

608
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: for that relationship to that to be like that, like

609
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: completely out of the picture. Otherwise it was maybe weird

610
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: that the dad would be that engaged, involved, etcetera. So

611
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 1: like what are we teaching our boys? And and and

612
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: the truth is like so much better than what has

613
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: been depicted on television, Like you know, the truth is

614
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 1: Adam is, Seth is Josh is and also you're I

615
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: feel like Seth, you know your son has such a

616
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: good shot because you do a beautiful job in Dad's

617
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 1: like showing how how we have a lovely line in

618
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: the film between your granddad and then your dad and

619
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,720
Speaker 1: then your brother who also becomes a new new father

620
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 1: in the film, which is beautiful to see. And each

621
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 1: of those four no, well you hear from three generations

622
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: soon to before, but like you hear from the three men,

623
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: how each of those fathers modeled being so present, Like yes,

624
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: your dad was obviously on eight thousand sets and doing

625
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: eight thousand hours when you guys were kids. But there

626
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: were pictures of like him balancing like three of the

627
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: four of you on his knee while he's calling action

628
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 1: like and and I related to that. My dad was gone.

629
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: And my dad's fashion photographer and he's shot on location,

630
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 1: you know, two hundred days a year. And I feel

631
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: like my dad was so fucking present, Like he was

632
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: at every play I was in in high school. He

633
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: was at every little recital. He was at every little

634
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like he and even when

635
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: he was away, we talked on the phone ever, like

636
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: it wasn't like he was absent at all. So um,

637
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 1: I just think THEO is really if everything is true

638
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,399
Speaker 1: about modeling, he has to look to Seth, he gets

639
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: to look to your dad, he gets to look to

640
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 1: your granddad. Um and his uncle read of what it

641
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: really can look like. I mean, I would be I

642
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: would not survive with Adam Sapiro. There is no way

643
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: on this. I'm serious. Like he he's so um. He

644
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: gets really angry. Like when our when I went back

645
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: to work when Alby was little, our nanny, Um, we

646
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,800
Speaker 1: high to nanny to come and Adam all of a

647
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: sudden started to feel pushed out, Like he was like,

648
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,839
Speaker 1: I feel like I need to be on the text

649
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: chain with you and the nanny. Like he was like,

650
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't care if she's here. If I'm I'm taking him,

651
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm taking him, you know what I mean. Like it

652
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: was just like trying to figure out that he still

653
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 1: wants to be uh involved, like in everything, He's involved

654
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: in everything, Like no questions asked, what do you want

655
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 1: people to take away from the film. I think that

656
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 1: for for Dad's especially, I would want them to feel

657
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: or to know that they're not alone, you know, to

658
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: feel part of a community. And I think for me

659
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: when after after having my first kid, and I just

660
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: felt I felt so alone, you know because like you said,

661
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: like we were like you were the only people that

662
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,919
Speaker 1: were having babies. The rest of us were still gallivanting

663
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: around Brooklyn like trying to like smoke cigarettes and be cool,

664
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: and like you know, we were just like still making

665
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: like really avant garde art in like church basements like

666
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 1: that we're disgusting on like the Lower Reside, Like that's

667
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,399
Speaker 1: what we were doing, and you were busy like making

668
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: a family, which was insane Oh my gosh, but you

669
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 1: were alone. You were alone, you were I felt alone.

670
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 1: I felt alone, and I felt especially with postpartument all

671
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: of that. And when I finally started to feel like, oh,

672
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: I can put a name to some of this was

673
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: when I read like Brookshield's book, and uh and so

674
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: I think for dad's you know, it's like they don't

675
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: necessarily or at least what what they the dads that

676
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: I interviewed communicated with me, they don't necessarily see these examples, um,

677
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: again and again and again in a way that it

678
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: affirmed their own role and the work that they're doing

679
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: in their family. And so um, and there's not kind

680
00:37:55,600 --> 00:38:00,399
Speaker 1: of a language to the experience of father's caregiving, so

681
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 1: that they are given that space and those boundaries and

682
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: the respect so that it's like, Okay, it's not just

683
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: assumed that the dads don't want to be on the

684
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: mom's texting chain like they want to. They want to

685
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 1: know everything that that the mom would know. Um. So

686
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: it's yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, so yeah, so

687
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: um Brookshield's book, Yes, down came the rain My Journey

688
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: through Postpartum Depression. Okay, amazing, We're going to link to

689
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: that I did a visual. If you remember, I said

690
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: rain and I went down. Yeah she did. She did

691
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: rain and she made like a rain drops with her fingers,

692
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,879
Speaker 1: like the spider like type of thing. Now, Bryce, what

693
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 1: did you How is it directing? How is it directing?

694
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: Your dad was seth watching the kids while you were directing, Like,

695
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: tell me about that experience. Yeah. So, UM, I love

696
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,280
Speaker 1: to have the kids on set as much as allows,

697
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: because that's what my experience was like growing up. And

698
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 1: I think that was really really helpful, really really really helpful, um.

699
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 1: And for for me to understand what my dad was

700
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: doing all day, and also for me to be involved

701
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: and for me to have a sense of the adult

702
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: world and all of that. Um. And so it was

703
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: really fun. It was really fun to do this documentary. UM.

704
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 1: But that being said, it was what was interesting was that, Um,

705
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: I was actually shooting Mandalorian, prepping shooting, and then in

706
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: post for Mandalorian during the week and then on the

707
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: weekends I was um doing all the interviews, and then

708
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: ultimately when I went into post for Dad's it worked

709
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: out with them and the interviews are hilarious. The interviews,

710
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: you guys are like it's like Kimmel Fallon Conan, it's

711
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: like the greatest, most hilarious, Like it's oh yeah, oh yeah,

712
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, it's like the greatest oh yeah, Will Smith,

713
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: Oh my god, They're just hilarious, the most brilliant, hilarious.

714
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: Dad's talking about God. You know what, It's not coincidental.

715
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 1: I felt like the majority of them, and this is

716
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: why this movie is so important now that I'm thinking

717
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: about it, the majority of them also had wonderful dads.

718
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 1: I feel like, right, that's what was really really really,

719
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: I mean, it really stood out to me that that

720
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 1: they that. So there's there's like two sets of dads

721
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: who are who are focused on in this movie, and

722
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: and we called them the hero dads and the comedian

723
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: dads UM and the comedian dads are specifically fathers who

724
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,320
Speaker 1: are currently or have a history of being stand up comics.

725
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: And because stand up comics are really are modern day

726
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: philosophers and UM and I wanted this kind of Greek

727
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: chorus of dads who could the universal the universality of it.

728
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 1: But I also wanted it to be even though even

729
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: though it's it's an emotional movie for a lot of folks.

730
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: I started out wanting to make comedy. So you did,

731
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: but you did both. I was sucking. I was dying.

732
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 1: The dad in Maryland who as a full on stay

733
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: at home dad belief, I mean you are San Diego.

734
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: Actually he's, oh, sorry, sorry, San Diego belief. His kid

735
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: like one kids on the potty, and he runs downstairs

736
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: after he brought in groceries and then another kid while

737
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: the other kids. He's down there with the one kid

738
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: potty training, the one kids going through the groceries, takes

739
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: out the carton of eggs, takes the whole carton of

740
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: eggs to the kid's crib, cracks all the eggs all

741
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 1: over the crib. I mean, I was had tears streaming

742
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: down my face. You can't and he's like, you can't

743
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: make this ship up. And then my wife comes home

744
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: and asked me about my day. It's like, I can't

745
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: tell you about my day. I don't know what the

746
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: fun was going on, Like he was, it's hilarious and

747
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: heartfelt and tears but sorry. And all the dads, all

748
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,879
Speaker 1: the dads that we profiled, were so we're so real.

749
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: And then all the dads who are our comedian dads

750
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: were also so incredibly genuine And what I learned was

751
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: while um the comedian dads that I was interviewing, when

752
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 1: they would talk about their own fathers, you know, fathers

753
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: largely of another generation, and their dads were trying, you know,

754
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 1: like their dads were like cared about their family, and

755
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: even the fathers who they felt a strange from or

756
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: or restrict or you know, even if there were you know,

757
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 1: things that were problematic, there was always a huge amount

758
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 1: of compassion because I think they saw that that their

759
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: fathers were dedicated. And it again speaks to that the

760
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 1: vast majority of fathers are showing up and have been

761
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: for generations, but we still haven't made that space necessarily

762
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: for them. I mean best depicted with Showichi, who's in Japan.

763
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 1: When he could no longer provide for his wife, he

764
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,839
Speaker 1: thought of committing suicide when she was like just be

765
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 1: just just be uh you know they called she referred

766
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: to it as a how husband, just be a house husband,

767
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: and he thought, like, you know that I'm no longer

768
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: of value because of that, and then he turned out

769
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: to be the most amazing house He's incredible. He ends

770
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: up being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that so he

771
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 1: can no longer work, and yeah, he contemplates suicide. It's like,

772
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: if I can't work, then I am no longer of value.

773
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: And then he finds this amazing value in just raising

774
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: a human being, which come on, like that is such

775
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 1: beautiful stories. I was like completely blown away, And you're right,

776
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 1: I don't I've never seen anything like it, Like, I mean,

777
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: we do a lot of work here on Katie's Crib,

778
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: really debunking the myths surrounding motherhood and making sure people

779
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: know what really looks like and guess what, You're not

780
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: going to get your body back in fifteen days or

781
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: whatever the funk Hollywood says, you know what I mean

782
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: like and and and you might not like your baby

783
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: at first. Oh, so dumb. It's so dumb. I can't

784
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: even I don't even have time. I'm like, that is

785
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 1: so a bit what what what are we doing? It's

786
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: so dumb? But I really, oh, I remember that. Sorry,

787
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: I just got another image when you were doing press

788
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 1: for Spider Man and you were dealing with postpartum and

789
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: also the weight gain from THEO that was not fun

790
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: for you and why would it be? It was awful, awful,

791
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 1: And I remember I mean, this is the thing that's

792
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: so beautiful. I was like, I was like, I was

793
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 1: over two pounds when when I had THEO and I

794
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: remember when I was by the way, I don't care

795
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: about weight at all anymore and prom for quite a

796
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: while in my life is so much better for it. Um.

797
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: When I when I went to have Beatrice, I was like,

798
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: I found out I was pregnant, and I like went

799
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: on this like hiking retreat and I was like, I

800
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: hiked like forty miles and in a week, and I

801
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna be so fit. I'm gonna be

802
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: such a fit mom. I'm gonna like so so so fit.

803
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: Months after Beatrice was born, months I was two hundred

804
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: and forty three pounds. There, you haven't, folks, you can't

805
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: control your body yours, you know. And also like, so

806
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: was Beyonce, Like guys watching her documentary, Like Beyonce was

807
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: like I was over two hundred whenever pounds pregnant, like

808
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 1: it's just it's got a stuff and and ps, I

809
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: was super cute. It's so cute. And also you were

810
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 1: making handle this. Um. But I was thinking in the film,

811
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 1: like I on the documentary, I haven't seen, Like I

812
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: feel kind of bad right now because I feel like

813
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,919
Speaker 1: we do a lot of work on Katie's cribon Moms

814
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: and like, look that shi it all needs to happen.

815
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: I'm all about it, But like I have really taken

816
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: for granted. I think that Adams just like the best,

817
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: and like sometimes I'm like a yoga class and people

818
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: one's like thank your partners, like have you thanked your partner?

819
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, shit, I gotta thank my partner, like dang,

820
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: Like I have not really been doing that. And look

821
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: at you. You made a whole film, like Seth, you

822
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: you're good for a while, Like Seth and your dad

823
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: and your granddad and your brother, like you don't have

824
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 1: to buy them a gift for like a very long time.

825
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: You are just singing fatherhood praises and really taking a

826
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,880
Speaker 1: look at why culturally it's not okay to like be

827
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: a house husband or a stay at home dad or

828
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: funk that even a dad that works but is super

829
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 1: involved and showing up and trying and failing but trying

830
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 1: again and keeping on trying, keeping on trying. Like I

831
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: don't know why we haven't seen that, why it was

832
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: so surprising Honestly, Katie, it was so surprising to me,

833
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: like when it when it all started, and and the

834
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,280
Speaker 1: way that I got this was that UM, a company

835
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 1: Unilever who owns dub and doub men care uh, wanted

836
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: to make a feature film documentary about modern fop ring

837
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: and that was it. That was like the only requirement.

838
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 1: And they were the ones who were working with the

839
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: Permundo Institute and had all the information about paternity leave

840
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 1: and all of that, and so it wasn't something that

841
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 1: came to me on my own. But the moment I

842
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: was involved in it, I was like, why does this

843
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: feel fresh? This should not feel fresh? This is very

844
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: basic stuff. Why why? And And I mean it was

845
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: I was I was kind of overcoming my own sort

846
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: of like like tunnel vision about mothering because I mean,

847
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: at first, I mean I said in the room, I

848
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 1: was like, I mean, yeah, paternity leave, but like, shouldn't

849
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: I be like fighting for maternity leave. And then the

850
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: more that I learned about it, it was like, oh

851
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: my gosh, if we're fighting for maternity leap but we're

852
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: not fighting for paternity leave, it is yet again putting

853
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: all of the responsibility on the women and undermining the

854
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: fathers and preventing them from being able to form a bond, competency, involvement,

855
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: all of that. Learned how to do it. I mean

856
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: Adam's biggest advice for new dad's they whenever he talks

857
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 1: to a friend who's about to have a baby, and

858
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:06,879
Speaker 1: they asked, like what do they think. He's like, listen

859
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: to me, get super involved from the start, because if

860
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: you're not learning diapers and all this stuff, it it

861
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 1: just means you're never going to do it. And then

862
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: there's just more stuff that's gonna come along that you're

863
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 1: never going to do, and she's going to do it all,

864
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 1: and you're just going to be less and less and

865
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: less and less involved. And um so he's just like,

866
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 1: do it all and don't be afraid you're going to

867
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: suck it up a lot. Like it's fine, Like it's

868
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,880
Speaker 1: you're going to get to try again because they shipped

869
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 1: like six times a day and they're diaper or like

870
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: they take a bath like every night, so if you

871
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: sucked one night, you can try it again, you know.

872
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: Or it's just like Stath changed every diaper, unless he

873
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 1: wasn't there every diaper because I was nursing, so you

874
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: were in charge of input. He was in charge of output.

875
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: I want to just make sure that we know that

876
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: Dad's is coming out June on Apple TV. I loved it.

877
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: I watched it alone. I'm going to watch it again

878
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: with Adam when it comes out. He's gonna love it.

879
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: It's so important, like, and you just did such a

880
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: great job. Um, thank you, like you really, I mean

881
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,280
Speaker 1: just blew my mind. I laughed, I cried, I felt,

882
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: and I felt like what I was watching was important

883
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: and fresh. As you said, Um, is there anything else

884
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: you want to add about Dad's or what you learned

885
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 1: or what you hope audiences take away. Oh my goodness,

886
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: Well you know what what I'll just share. And this

887
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: is such a weird thing to just sort of like volunteer,

888
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 1: but um, it was really interesting because because, like I mentioned,

889
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: when I was shooting, when I was shooting Dad's, it

890
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: was mostly on the weekends because I was doing Mandalorian

891
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 1: during the week and so much of the heart of

892
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: that show is the relationship between Mando and Baby and

893
00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:01,720
Speaker 1: Baby Yoda, and it's it's the journey of really someone

894
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: who like literally has a shell around them, is like

895
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 1: fully disconnected from from everyone around them, Um learns how

896
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 1: to connect with this little vulnerable being and becomes their caregiver.

897
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: And it was this really, I mean, John Favreau himself

898
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 1: is just he's just he's the puddle of dad love.

899
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: Like he's just like the sweetest dad. Like. The reason

900
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,799
Speaker 1: he created the show in part um was so he

901
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 1: wanted he wanted to make something so that he could

902
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: stay at home, um, with his kids. He's got three

903
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 1: kids because his wife is a doctor at Cedar Sinai

904
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: and UM, and he's like, if I leave then like

905
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: you know, she can't leave her practice, and then I'm

906
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 1: not seeing my kids and and he just refused to

907
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: do that, UM, like ever and um. And so that's

908
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 1: why he created this production and the conceit of it

909
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 1: and all that sort of stuff that allowed facilitated shooting

910
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 1: in in Los Angeles. But at that you know, he's

911
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: the writer of the show. It was just so apparent.

912
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: Rent just seeing after seeing it was like, oh my gosh,

913
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: this is kind of a love story two new fathers

914
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: in a way, you know, fathers like learning, like having

915
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: their hearts opened and accepting this into their life, you know,

916
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: and and then and then discovering what the adventure is

917
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: from there, and I think that some of the best

918
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: scenes of that show are the shows that exist between

919
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 1: Baby and Mando and it's like basically out of like

920
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:31,240
Speaker 1: Creamer versus Creamer and and it's it's a dad figuring

921
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: it out. So you know, I I don't in retrospect,

922
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 1: I don't think it was an accident. You were doing

923
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: both at the same time. Yeah, yeah, Like it was like, okay,

924
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 1: this is the theme of this year. In terms of

925
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: Father's Day, I did totally totally Beatrice asked me on

926
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: Mother's Day this year, she was like, what what are

927
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 1: we going to get Daddy for Father's Day? What are

928
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: you going to get Daddy? And I was like, it's okay.

929
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 1: I made Daddy a documentary this year. Yeah, you're good.

930
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: I wasn't featured that my so I do. There's there's

931
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: gonna be there's gonna be cards, yes, okay. And the

932
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 1: last question, what is any advice for moms with new

933
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 1: babies um going through it? Gosh? I would say that

934
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 1: that is a given and to take that on as

935
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: a given, and that it's just it's out of your

936
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:31,760
Speaker 1: control for a while, and it's out of your control

937
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 1: because your hormones take a while to get back online.

938
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: It's out of your control because it takes a while

939
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:41,760
Speaker 1: to practice competency with raising children and and and that

940
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 1: it's probably the best thing that you could ever do

941
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: for your child, for yourself and for your partner is

942
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 1: to involve your partner in absolutely everything and too to

943
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 1: expect it and then to allow it. Because what happens

944
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: a lot is it's like, oh, the diaper doesn't get

945
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: changed that way. Oh no, I don't like it when oh,

946
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 1: but you're doing you're gonna hurt her. You know it's bad,

947
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 1: and it's do it differently than moms. And so to

948
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: allow that, let it go process, Yes, let it go.

949
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: Would you know, would you know better than to have

950
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 1: anyone right, Katie, The minute I let I stopped trying

951
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: to control that, I did it better. Like Adam just

952
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 1: does it differently. And what that is is a break

953
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: for me, do you know what I mean? Like we're

954
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 1: talking about potty training right now, Like he really likes

955
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: to poop with me because he feels safe. But you

956
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 1: know what, right now, in quarantine, I get afternoons off

957
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 1: and I do morning sessions. So in the afternoon is

958
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: Whinnie poops, and I have to let go that that's

959
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 1: going to be Adam's situation, and like I can't control that,

960
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,359
Speaker 1: and like I want to. I want to be there

961
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: so bad, but I also have my work to do,

962
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 1: and so it's gonna I have to just let the

963
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 1: poop lie where the poop is gonna lie, you know

964
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I feel so lucky that I

965
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: learned to just let it go, let him be super involved,

966
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: even he's going to do it differently, even if it's

967
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 1: going to go bad or wrong, which really isn't true. Um,

968
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: it's just different. And then it just gives me a break.

969
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 1: So I love that a nice I think it's spot on.

970
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Bryce, thank these memories the memory Lane.

971
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on Katie's Crib. I couldn't be

972
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: happy for you guys. Happy Father's Day. Watch Dad's on

973
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: Apple TV. It's brilliant and a wonderful thing to watch

974
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: with your families, with your with your partners, with the

975
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:36,919
Speaker 1: dad's in your life, the father figures in your life.

976
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: UM to celebrate them and Bryce, you did a beautiful job.

977
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on Katie's Crib. Thank you, Katie,

978
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: I'm wanting to do this forever. I'm so so lucky.

979
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,279
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much listening to the episode of

980
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: Puge massive shout out to all the dad's out there, happy, happy,

981
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: happy Father's Day, sending you all my love, and if

982
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: you love the episode and want to hear more, you

983
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 1: subscribe and tell your friends, share rate, do all the

984
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: things so we can keep making Katie's Grip. Thanks guys,

985
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 1: Happy Father's Day. Katie's Crib is a production of iHeart

986
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: Radio and Shonda land Audio. For more podcasts from I

987
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

988
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm coming

989
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 1: for I Want You Want, You Want