Speaker 1: And I need you to tell me if this is
Speaker 1: something long term or if I need to go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: And I don't want I don't want you to take
Speaker 1: it the wrong way. Christian Williamson back on the podcast today. Man,
Speaker 1: good to have you back, glad to be here. You
Speaker 1: are an awesome friend. We have known each other for
Speaker 1: not that long, probably what six seven eight months? Not
Speaker 1: that long, but I feel really close to you. I
Speaker 1: feel like I could unload personal things from my life
Speaker 1: to you. You're just that kind of guy. You're such
Speaker 1: a good listener, you empathize, you have great advice, which
Speaker 1: is you know. These are the reasons that I love
Speaker 1: to have you on this podcast. And I'm glad you're
Speaker 1: back today because as we go through these people's questions,
Speaker 1: and that's what the format of this podcast is. If
Speaker 1: you have anything for us, you email Grangersmith podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and we're going to answer these questions.
Speaker 1: We do this every Monday. Christian, You're great at it.
Speaker 1: You you are one of the pastors at Celebration Church
Speaker 1: in Georgetown, Texas. That's right. What is your title? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm the ministry's pastor and ministries ministries pastor and associate
Speaker 1: campus pastor at the Broadcast campus. So gotcha oversee the
Speaker 1: Broadcast campus activities on Sunday and throughout the week, and
Speaker 1: then what we do within our different ministries all at
Speaker 1: all campuses. So, and you are a bamamn more Eagle
Speaker 1: War Eagle. That's right. Yeah, we got that straight last time.
Speaker 1: This is not a real Tide kind of guy. I
Speaker 1: like that I relate to War Eagle. Do you see
Speaker 1: you think you'd be an Auburn fan if you were well, see,
Speaker 1: I went to Texas A and M okay, and so
Speaker 1: the way that the state of Texas is split up,
Speaker 1: there's it's similar with Role Tide and War Eagle and
Speaker 1: hookm Horns and Gigle Maggie's it's kind of similar. And
Speaker 1: so you know A and M is the like the
Speaker 1: agricultural college, you know, and I fill a connection with
Speaker 1: Auburn in that sense. So I'm gonna take us right
Speaker 1: to football. Let's go. I'm gonna take us right to
Speaker 1: I'm to take us right to SEC football. It's good
Speaker 1: because we're what a few weeks away, We're so close,
Speaker 1: We're so close, and so what better way to to
Speaker 1: start this podcast with a question from you guys once again.
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Email anything, and this
Speaker 1: is a football question. It says, Hey, Grangeer and my
Speaker 1: family and I are big South Carolina game clop fans.
Speaker 1: Texas A and M has owned this essince y'all join
Speaker 1: the SEC unfortunately, but I can't say enough good things
Speaker 1: about Aggie fans, uh since you guys have joined. It
Speaker 1: says I have family and walks a hatchee that i've
Speaker 1: that have and I've never visited, but I have plans
Speaker 1: to go to the Gamecock game when they play the
Speaker 1: Aggies and make a big trip out of it for
Speaker 1: a potential once in a lifetime trip to College Station, Texas.
Speaker 1: What are the dues and see of an outer towner?
Speaker 1: It sounds like I need to go to the Dixie
Speaker 1: Chicken ironic for when you guys are playing us fighting chickens.
Speaker 1: It's it's a staple that needs to be checked out.
Speaker 1: Do you know if I could stay awake? Do you
Speaker 1: know if I could stay awake these days for the
Speaker 1: midnight yell or who knows come tailgate with us sometimes
Speaker 1: in Colombia gocox ee Andy. So my question, I'll kick
Speaker 1: it to you Christian. First, you have you been to
Speaker 1: Columbia South Carolina? I haven't. I haven't been to a game,
Speaker 1: cup stadium or do their game there. Yeah, I've been
Speaker 1: to an Auburn an Auburn game, costs game. But yeah, okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I've been Auburn. It's it's an awesome town. Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1: I've been. I've toured in every SEC town. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: we've played a show and we've seen most of the stadiums.
Speaker 1: I've seen Auburn, seen South Carolina, and so I love it.
Speaker 1: I love questions like this because what's so cool. What
Speaker 1: I love about college football is people getting to try
Speaker 1: and and you're going to support your team, but you're
Speaker 1: also seeing almost like a new culture. It is. I
Speaker 1: think from one you know what's interesting is I travel
Speaker 1: and go to different stadiums. Is what you said. The
Speaker 1: culture of how their tradition, you know, within from one
Speaker 1: one team to the next. And I love the community
Speaker 1: and the family, dynamic man and just the camaraderie. They're
Speaker 1: tailgating all of that stuff that goes along with it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I love that. I want to I want
Speaker 1: to encourage everyone listening. Uh, if you if you go
Speaker 1: to a game, or more importantly, if you're a home
Speaker 1: team welcoming a visitor, just always welcome them with open arms.
Speaker 1: It's it just it says so much more about your
Speaker 1: school and your town. If you see someone wearing in
Speaker 1: this case, you know, red and black, and they walk
Speaker 1: up and red and black and white and you just go, hey,
Speaker 1: welcome to College Station. Yeah, you know, so so excited
Speaker 1: to have you guys here. Do you need anything? Let
Speaker 1: me know if you need any restaurant advice? You know that.
Speaker 1: That's that goes so so far. Just hospitality, hospital hospitality. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Andy, you're you're asking all the right questions. I
Speaker 1: think Dixie Chicken would be awesome. It's a it's really old.
Speaker 1: I say really old. It's nineteen seventies. It's not that old,
Speaker 1: but iconic and not Yelle is iconic for College Station.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you should stay awake and go
Speaker 1: do that. And I don't know when that game is,
Speaker 1: but you should probably bring sunscreen and hydrate before you
Speaker 1: go because it's college Station, Texas. A's hot. It's the South. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: thanks for emailing. I hope you guys have fun. And
Speaker 1: for all the other schools, out there excited about the season. Yeah,
Speaker 1: really excited. So at this point, Christian, I'm going to
Speaker 1: start knocking out some of these questions, and I don't
Speaker 1: really have an order on how deep they are, so
Speaker 1: we might we might go right in to something super deep,
Speaker 1: but I kind of want to. I want to read
Speaker 1: some of the titles to you and see if any
Speaker 1: of them stand out to you. Something's missing, Family dilemma, friendship, FRIM,
Speaker 1: friendship question, Monster in Law, relationship advice, help, being a
Speaker 1: new dad, any of this to the friendship friendship question,
Speaker 1: the one that I stumbled over, says, Hey, Granger, I've
Speaker 1: been struggling with some friendships lately where I currently live,
Speaker 1: and it seems like everyone who's called themselves my friend
Speaker 1: isn't there when I need someone to talk to. I'm
Speaker 1: actually moving to Austin, Texas soon, and I've considered reaching
Speaker 1: out to a local Facebook group to try to make
Speaker 1: some new friends down there virtually and then hopefully meet
Speaker 1: some of them in person when I move. I really
Speaker 1: need some new friends, but I don't want to sound desperate.
Speaker 1: Any advice. Brittany. Brittany works out great that she's moving Austin,
Speaker 1: Moving Austin because we could direct her very specifically, very
Speaker 1: specifically to celebration dot Church where there's some incredible people,
Speaker 1: great small groups. But you know, Brittany, as I heard that,
Speaker 1: I think it's important that you set. I think in
Speaker 1: our relationships and in our friendships, we've got to have
Speaker 1: clear expectations, healthy expectations on what we expect out of
Speaker 1: certain relationships. Is there's some people it's Granger set at
Speaker 1: the top of this video. There's some people you bring
Speaker 1: in real close, and there's some people you can share
Speaker 1: anything with. But then there are some that you know,
Speaker 1: just it's just important to have realistic expectations on what
Speaker 1: that relationship is. And I would ask the question, are
Speaker 1: you perhaps putting unrealistic expectations on all of those relationships?
Speaker 1: Interesting because you know, I don't have the capacity to
Speaker 1: be extremely close to a lot of people, do any
Speaker 1: of us? Yeah? Right? Yeah? So thinks that we should
Speaker 1: be friends with four hundred and seventy three people, right,
Speaker 1: It says that right on our Facebook profile. So the
Speaker 1: world expects that, isn't that our friends? Yeah? And then
Speaker 1: you think, of course not, of course it's not four
Speaker 1: hundred friends. It's a third of that. Yeah, right, what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's still too many. It's still still too many. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's still too many. So I just I mean you,
Speaker 1: Brendan again, I hate that you're struggling in this area,
Speaker 1: but just you know, find some Just find a great
Speaker 1: group of people, whether it's a Facebook friend group, a
Speaker 1: local church, a gym, you know, like that's kind of
Speaker 1: good group fitness, and latch onto two or three people
Speaker 1: and the poor into that relationship and let them pour
Speaker 1: back into you. Absolutely, wouldn't you say that there's we
Speaker 1: we kind of take pride. It's such a terrible word. Pride.
Speaker 1: We take pride in how many friends I think that
Speaker 1: we have when in reality two or three, two or three, Yeah,
Speaker 1: really really good friends are so much more valuable than
Speaker 1: twenty three twenty four. Yeah, close friends. I agree. I
Speaker 1: think there's a difference between friendships and council So I
Speaker 1: think I need more than two or three councils in
Speaker 1: my life, like wise counsel, someone in investing me and
Speaker 1: helping me with my family, with finances, with my job,
Speaker 1: just wise counsel. But I can't be extremely close to
Speaker 1: all of those individuals. Yeah, you know, so lower your
Speaker 1: expectations with what you're expecting to get out of it,
Speaker 1: lower your expectations on how many you're expecting to have
Speaker 1: according to what the world thinks that you should have.
Speaker 1: And when you move to Austin. First of all, I
Speaker 1: don't know if the Facebook group before you move virtually,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that matters. Maybe set a couple
Speaker 1: of things up, but what's really going to matter is
Speaker 1: when you actually move to kind of implant yourself a
Speaker 1: Christian seid of gym is a great thing, or any
Speaker 1: other hobby that you have. Of course, we're going to
Speaker 1: recommend Celebration church. There's a central location in Austin. That's that.
Speaker 1: The central location of Celebration churches is great because it's
Speaker 1: much smaller and much more intimate. How many people are
Speaker 1: in that congregation about two hundred and fifty about two
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty and that's a good night. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's on a yeah, that's on as average attendants, adults attendants.
Speaker 1: But this is probably made up with maybe four hundred people.
Speaker 1: But not everybody comes every Sunday exactly. So Brittany, you
Speaker 1: do that, We're going to see you there, yes, you know,
Speaker 1: So there's that I want to be your friend Brittany. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so thank you for emailing such a great question. Was
Speaker 1: there was there a new dad question? Yeah, memory, we'll
Speaker 1: see where it was at being being a new dad,
Speaker 1: says Hey Granger. First of all, I just want to
Speaker 1: thank you for all your videos that you'll put out.
Speaker 1: Marshall from Tacoma, Washington. My son recently turned one and
Speaker 1: I love him to death, but I'm struggling with getting
Speaker 1: down and playing with him and being active with him.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm talking and playing with myself
Speaker 1: seeking advice. Thank you, Marshall from the Tacoma That's a
Speaker 1: good question. It's a good question. I felt like that.
Speaker 1: I have felt like that, and I understand the sentiment
Speaker 1: that Marshall has here because you're playing with a one
Speaker 1: year old and you're like, well, I'm playing because I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be playing and I'm a dad. But is
Speaker 1: this kid getting anything out of what we're doing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the answers yes, I would agree. Yeah. I think it's
Speaker 1: it's proximity, you know, it's just the the It's about
Speaker 1: just being close to your son. Although you might be
Speaker 1: trying to play with the ball with him and he
Speaker 1: may never remember that. Moment, or you're watching TV with
Speaker 1: him or whatever it is that a one year old,
Speaker 1: I don't know what a one year old does. I
Speaker 1: have teenagers now, so it's been quite a while, but
Speaker 1: I think it's important that you're spending time together just
Speaker 1: because you're there's a bond that's happening. Yeah, that proximity,
Speaker 1: being close, repetition, just your son constantly seeing your face,
Speaker 1: knowing your voice, knowing your smell. You know, Hey, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's that's such a good point. And see, Marshall,
Speaker 1: we're almost going to say the same things we did
Speaker 1: with the last question. Lower your expectation and again you
Speaker 1: know we were expectations on what what you're you're expecting
Speaker 1: to get out of this moment from you because you
Speaker 1: you to get down on this one year old's level.
Speaker 1: It could be as easy as and did you say
Speaker 1: it's a boy or girl son? Yeah? Son, So it's
Speaker 1: as easy as picking him up, taking him outside of
Speaker 1: any and walk them by the leaves of a tree.
Speaker 1: And there's the leaves and put the leaves in reach
Speaker 1: of your son where he could just touch the leaves
Speaker 1: and pull him in and put him on his mouth,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's as easy as that. You don't
Speaker 1: have to play checkers, or you know, you don't have to.
Speaker 1: You don't have to get blocks and build stacks. You
Speaker 1: could just walk outside to a tree. And this is
Speaker 1: not only building this bawd with your son, but it's
Speaker 1: also it's cultivating the love that you have for him too.
Speaker 1: As you think, oh, I would agree. I would agree
Speaker 1: because you're getting it's an intimate of clobes, those personal
Speaker 1: thing that you're able to see your son. You know,
Speaker 1: last week he didn't notice the leaves on the tree,
Speaker 1: but this week he notices the leaves on the tree.
Speaker 1: He notices the texture, and he notices the fill and
Speaker 1: the smell and the So it's you getting just really
Speaker 1: that front row seat and watching your watching your son
Speaker 1: grow up and mature. The thing about being a new
Speaker 1: dad is that you can't see you're you're in the
Speaker 1: trenches now and you can't see from from the outside
Speaker 1: looking in that this this son there, your boy is
Speaker 1: going to change every month and they're and that it
Speaker 1: changes drastically. I mean, at one he's going to be walking.
Speaker 1: If he's not already walking, he's walking any day now.
Speaker 1: And then he's going to be talking, and then he's
Speaker 1: going to be a toddler and he's going to be
Speaker 1: on the go, and then he's going to be in
Speaker 1: kindergarten and you, Brent blink and I he's gonna be
Speaker 1: ready for middle school. I would say, cherish these moments, cherishing,
Speaker 1: cherish because they grow up fast. Yeah, it's hard to
Speaker 1: do it. Text takes patience and discipline. But just just
Speaker 1: know at the end of this, just know you're doing
Speaker 1: the right thing by just spending some time with him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so good, we got time. Not got a few more
Speaker 1: before the break. We have something's missing, family dilemma, monster
Speaker 1: in law. I need relationship advice. Let's do something's missing,
Speaker 1: Something's curious. Curiosity's got the best of me. I grangered.
Speaker 1: My name is Zach. I'm from Laramie, Wyoming. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: one years old, a junior at the University of Wyoming
Speaker 1: study studying wildlife biology and management Go Pokes. I have
Speaker 1: a steady job as an eighty A shuttle driver, and
Speaker 1: I have great grades. In my free time, I'm going
Speaker 1: fishing and camping. But I can't get past the feeling
Speaker 1: that something is missing. I've been trying to find the
Speaker 1: right girl, but I can't seem to get past the
Speaker 1: first couple of dates. I try to be a gentleman,
Speaker 1: open car doors, buy flowers, come up with unique date ideas,
Speaker 1: but somewhere I'm going wrong and it's hard being let down.
Speaker 1: I understand I'm still young, I have plenty of time,
Speaker 1: but I just want to hear your input on what
Speaker 1: I could do differently or how to approach this in
Speaker 1: a different way. Thanks for your time, ye Zach. Yeah, man, Zach,
Speaker 1: I just want to just kind of affirm the season
Speaker 1: of life that you're in. You're twenty one, you're in college,
Speaker 1: you feel like something's missing. I can remember being that
Speaker 1: age in my early twenties, and I felt like I
Speaker 1: should be doing more. Yeah, like you know, like I
Speaker 1: felt like because I have friends that were graduating college
Speaker 1: or they were going into their profession, or even some
Speaker 1: that were getting married. And so, Zach, I think it's
Speaker 1: really you're in that season of life that you feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm no longer I'm no longer a kid now I'm
Speaker 1: an adult, but you're still a very young adult. So
Speaker 1: I would encourage you, man, just as it relates to
Speaker 1: the feeling of something missing. Just enjoy this season, finish school,
Speaker 1: finish strong. But then there's another another part to that,
Speaker 1: and started talking about dating and girls not being able
Speaker 1: to get through the next couple of dates or the
Speaker 1: first couple of dates. Rather, Man, I don't know, grangeery,
Speaker 1: let you do. Yeah to that point. First of all,
Speaker 1: what you said is great. I remember being twenty one
Speaker 1: like it was yesterday. I was single, by the way
Speaker 1: zat at that age, and I remember thinking similar thoughts, like, man,
Speaker 1: it'd be kind of cool to have a girlfriend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it seems like everybody else does. And I
Speaker 1: think to speak to something, to speak to you saying
Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? It's kind of what you're saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're saying your tritless stuff, what's wrong with me? I'm
Speaker 1: going to say right now that all of those things
Speaker 1: that you're doing don't matter. They don't reflect who you are.
Speaker 1: You if you had changed the way you opened the door,
Speaker 1: or maybe a different bouquet of flowers, or maybe you
Speaker 1: had a more unique idea for a date, that wouldn't
Speaker 1: have mattered. The girls that weren't interested just weren't interested
Speaker 1: in you for none of those other reasons, but because
Speaker 1: it didn't work with you. Yeah, it's not a knock
Speaker 1: on you. We're just some people are are attracted to
Speaker 1: people for certain reasons. It's gotta be a good fit.
Speaker 1: If you had to come up with a more unique
Speaker 1: data idea, you just would have tricked her for a
Speaker 1: few more you know, if you had forgotten to open
Speaker 1: the car door or bought a different kind of flowers,
Speaker 1: you just would have tricked. Here's what my dad would
Speaker 1: tell me. Experience doesn't replace chemistry. So all that dating
Speaker 1: advice like, well, you can have the best data ideas,
Speaker 1: but there's no chemistry. There's no chemistry summed everything. Potentially, eventually,
Speaker 1: you know, you're going to run out of experiences, you know,
Speaker 1: and so if there's no chemistry there, that's that sums
Speaker 1: it up, Zach. Experience cannot replace chemistry, and that's actually
Speaker 1: the better word. Chemistry is the better word than attraction.
Speaker 1: So you either have chemistry or you don't. And if
Speaker 1: you're truly interested in having a girl, yeah, there's nothing
Speaker 1: terribly wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But
Speaker 1: that just means keep trying, and here we go again.
Speaker 1: Lower your expectations on what you're trying to get out
Speaker 1: of a first date. That's right, and you're twenty one,
Speaker 1: Like it's that feeling of like I feel like I
Speaker 1: should be now. I need to be working on marriage,
Speaker 1: like finding that woman that I'm going to spend the
Speaker 1: rest of my life with. And you're still really young,
Speaker 1: So give yourself a little bit of a break, you know, Like,
Speaker 1: it's okay, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Brother,
Speaker 1: you have so much time. That doesn't mean you can't
Speaker 1: find your future wife tomorrow, but you might find her
Speaker 1: in seventeen years. How does that make you feel? You know,
Speaker 1: if I tell you that at twenty one that you
Speaker 1: might not find her for another twenty one years, maybe
Speaker 1: that could be that could give you a lot of anxiety,
Speaker 1: or that could just give you a lot of peace.
Speaker 1: Going well, it's time to focus on my career and
Speaker 1: my friends. And it sounds like you got a lot
Speaker 1: going on. You're in college, you have a wild ife
Speaker 1: biology major, you're working on what a fun what a
Speaker 1: fun major? You got good grades, you got a good job.
Speaker 1: So that the something's missing thing I think, if I
Speaker 1: was going to pinpoint what's missing is your expectations are
Speaker 1: a little too high for looking around and saying I
Speaker 1: wish I had a girlfriend right now, so appreciate the email. Buddy.
Speaker 1: Let's let's get knocked out one more. It'll do a
Speaker 1: break sure, and then I'll get your water because I
Speaker 1: promised you water. I forgot, but I'm good. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you are true for a bit. Thank you Christian for
Speaker 1: driving over here. I know, but oh man, this is
Speaker 1: not the easiest place in the middle of nowhere to
Speaker 1: come to for a podcast, So it's thank you man.
Speaker 1: It's worth it to these listeners. You guys comment below
Speaker 1: how much you love Christian too. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: do you have an idea of where you want to
Speaker 1: go next year? Yeah? I'm sorry. Read the subjects. Yeah,
Speaker 1: family dilemma, monster in law, relationship advice, help, questions, I
Speaker 1: need to know grief. Let's do monster in law just
Speaker 1: because because I keep paying it, bait. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: keep this short, but my mother in law chain smokes
Speaker 1: all day every day. I don't know if I've ever
Speaker 1: seen her without a cigarette in hand. I have two
Speaker 1: year old and one on the way, and my husband
Speaker 1: doesn't see the issue with her having an effect on
Speaker 1: our children. He's never seen my side of it. And
Speaker 1: she smokes it. She's been smoking inside her house for
Speaker 1: twenty plus years. All I ask is that she comes
Speaker 1: to our home, sees our children and says And my
Speaker 1: husband doesn't say that I'm picking on her anymore. Well,
Speaker 1: my mother in law, my mother in law and I
Speaker 1: haven't gotten along since the birth of my second son.
Speaker 1: I have never kept him from seeing her. How do
Speaker 1: I have a convo with him before our newborn is
Speaker 1: born without it causing more issues? I'd like to stay anonymous.
Speaker 1: I'm from Virginia. That's kind of a difficult one as
Speaker 1: you're dealing with a mother in law. That's difficult right
Speaker 1: on the day. But it's interesting because I think the
Speaker 1: in law is choosing to make She has the right
Speaker 1: to make her own decisions. Yeah, and unfortunately, you know,
Speaker 1: chain smoking is not a good not a good choice
Speaker 1: for your health. But I feel like as an adult,
Speaker 1: you have to respect that and like, you can't. You
Speaker 1: can't force change on someone, you know, you can't force
Speaker 1: her to see the way you see it. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: if she's changed smoking in front of the children, that's
Speaker 1: a whole you know, in the same room, and that's
Speaker 1: a whole nother dynamic. Yah, but we're just talking about
Speaker 1: someone who's choosing to do something that's unhealthy. I guess
Speaker 1: the question I would ask, what would the conversation? What
Speaker 1: are you trying to accomplish by having this conversation with
Speaker 1: your with your husband? So let's dig in it says,
Speaker 1: I have a two year old and one of the way,
Speaker 1: my husband doesn't see the issue with her habit affecting
Speaker 1: our children. He never sees my side of it. When
Speaker 1: she also smokes inside her house and she has her
Speaker 1: twenty plus years. So she says, all I ask is
Speaker 1: that she comes to our house to see our children.
Speaker 1: Let me read it like she said it, all all,
Speaker 1: all this this is from Virginia, is that she comes
Speaker 1: to our house to see our children. And he says,
Speaker 1: I'm picking on her. So this is this is boiling
Speaker 1: down to communication between her and her husband. And that's
Speaker 1: really the bottom line of this whole question. I mean,
Speaker 1: none of us have a question about is cigarette smoked bad?
Speaker 1: I will say that that people grew up for generations
Speaker 1: breathing it in. Man, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: grew up my grand Both of my grandparents changed smoked
Speaker 1: and they had a white ceiling, and uh, next to
Speaker 1: my grandfather's chair, there was a yellow ring almost ceiling
Speaker 1: where he would just sit and the smoke would just yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean like you would have to fight a cloud
Speaker 1: of smoke to go in their home. Yeah. I remember
Speaker 1: my grandpa. He always got up really early, you know,
Speaker 1: at five in the morning. He would go in there
Speaker 1: and drink a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette
Speaker 1: or chain smokes cigarettes and think about the hard day
Speaker 1: that he was about to have, you know. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: so as a little kid, I remember waking up. Little
Speaker 1: kids get up early, and I'd go in there and
Speaker 1: just sit in there with him. And I don't remember
Speaker 1: anyone worrying about me being around that, And I don't
Speaker 1: Maybe i'd be a better human if I didn't smell
Speaker 1: that at the time. I don't know, but I don't
Speaker 1: think it affected me. And I don't want to undermine
Speaker 1: the email here of a mother that's actually concerned about
Speaker 1: her kids. Yeah, because the truth is is it does
Speaker 1: have a negative it and of course it does, you know,
Speaker 1: But what this really boils down to is a conversation
Speaker 1: with your husband. And so you're asking, how do I
Speaker 1: have a convo with him before our knewborn was born. Well,
Speaker 1: if you sit down and say, babe, can I talk
Speaker 1: to you about something, something that's really on my heart
Speaker 1: and you have to be you have to empathize with him.
Speaker 1: It's his mama. You're talking about his mama, and he's
Speaker 1: been around in his whole life. Nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1: Now on on his side, he needs to have an
Speaker 1: allegiance to you. That's hiring his mama. We get that,
Speaker 1: so we're not questioning that either. But if you come
Speaker 1: in being vulnerable, empathizing with him that this is his
Speaker 1: mother we're talking about as kind as you can be,
Speaker 1: regardless of how he reacts to it, and you just say, babe,
Speaker 1: I talk to you about something with this baby on
Speaker 1: the way. I was wondering if we could. It really
Speaker 1: bothers me if our kids are around smoke. It doesn't
Speaker 1: bother me that they're around your mother, because I want
Speaker 1: him to have this grandmother relationship that just the cigarettes thing.
Speaker 1: Can you talk to her about it? Maybe we could
Speaker 1: just cut back a little bit, or or we could
Speaker 1: be outside a little bit more when she's playing with them.
Speaker 1: But anyway, come to the table with empathy. I think
Speaker 1: that's the key is the way you said it is
Speaker 1: I want them to be around your mother. I just
Speaker 1: don't want them to be around the smoke. So you
Speaker 1: have to you got to make sure you you just communicate.
Speaker 1: There's a difference there because it's so easy to say
Speaker 1: I don't want them to go around your mother because
Speaker 1: she smokes. Yeah, Like do you hear and when you
Speaker 1: hear that right, like, well, no, you just said I
Speaker 1: don't want you to be I don't want to be
Speaker 1: around your mother. So you've got to make sure you
Speaker 1: just communicate, isn't it to your point earlier on, it's
Speaker 1: it's all about communication. Yeah, it's funny. I was talking
Speaker 1: to Amber earlier today and with all these questions, thousands
Speaker 1: of questions, there's like five or six answers for all
Speaker 1: of them. It's you need Jesus need communication, you need patience,
Speaker 1: clear contentment, you need clear expectations. You know, there's like
Speaker 1: six answers and this one is uh and and all
Speaker 1: of them were almost all of them combined at some level.
Speaker 1: But this is this is a conversation question. That's about communication,
Speaker 1: and we should all be able to communicate with those
Speaker 1: around us that we love in a way where there
Speaker 1: is we're not attacking them, and you have to be
Speaker 1: have to be aware that when you start the conversation,
Speaker 1: you're not attacking or or defending yourself because these are
Speaker 1: his kids too, for sure, so you have the motherly instinct,
Speaker 1: but you're also these are his kids, and you guys
Speaker 1: both have a say once. I can't I can't repeat
Speaker 1: enough that christ and I are not advocating that it's
Speaker 1: okay for kids to be around cigarette smoke. But I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to I'm trying to diminish that that's not
Speaker 1: the true problem. It sounds like here, yeah, I think,
Speaker 1: and I read one on this podcast recently where it
Speaker 1: was like the same thing, but the grandmother was giving
Speaker 1: the kids candy too much, and so it's like the
Speaker 1: same thing where it's I need to talk to the
Speaker 1: husband about why why they're giving them candy too much.
Speaker 1: That's so it's like cigarettes and candy aren't the problem,
Speaker 1: it's communication. Thank you for this email. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: a quick break. I'm gonna get Christiana water. We'll be
Speaker 1: right back. Time podcast is brought to you guys today
Speaker 1: by a ritual. We deserved it. An we're putting in
Speaker 1: our bodies and why, especially when it comes to something
Speaker 1: we take every day. Ritual is clean, vegan friendly Multiviodum
Speaker 1: is formulated with high quality nutrients and bioavailable forms that
Speaker 1: your body could actually use. What you're not gonna find
Speaker 1: in Ritual is sugars, GMOs, major allergens, synthetic fillers, and
Speaker 1: artificial colorants. Plus the fresh taste and delayed release capsule
Speaker 1: design makes taking your vitamins super easy. I am not
Speaker 1: a vitamin guy. I've never really been a vitamin guy
Speaker 1: because they kind of upset my stomach. Then I started
Speaker 1: reading about Ritual. They sent me some product to use,
Speaker 1: and it's actually easy on me. It doesn't affect me.
Speaker 1: And it's because, I guess because of the high quality
Speaker 1: ingredients that they're using is not your typical like over
Speaker 1: the counter average stuff. The vitamins that you find Ritual
Speaker 1: is super high quality stuff. So it works with me great.
Speaker 1: It's a multi vitamin that you know, every time you
Speaker 1: take a multivitamin, you take it because you want it
Speaker 1: to make you feel better. You want it to make
Speaker 1: you feel healthier. It should contain key nutrients in forms
Speaker 1: that your body could actually use to help fill ga
Speaker 1: gaps in your nutritional diet with no shady extras. And
Speaker 1: this is what Ritual does. It's delayed release capsule design
Speaker 1: delivers high quality nutrients including Vitamin D three and two
Speaker 1: daily pills, so you always get what you're taking. You
Speaker 1: always know exactly what you're taking because it has one
Speaker 1: of a kind visible supply chain that you could see.
Speaker 1: So it's now available for women, men, and teens. Ritual
Speaker 1: multivitamins are scientifically developed to help support life's different stages.
Speaker 1: Your multi vitamin is delivered to your door every single
Speaker 1: month with free shipping. You could always start snooz or
Speaker 1: cancel your subscription anytime if you don't love Ritual within
Speaker 1: your first few months, or excuse me, within your first month.
Speaker 1: I got to say that right, They'll refund your entire order,
Speaker 1: so get key nutrients without the BS. Ritual is offering
Speaker 1: my listeners ten percent off for your first three months.
Speaker 1: Visit ritual dot com slash granger to start your Ritual Today.
Speaker 1: Podcast is also brought to you by Uncommon Goods. What
Speaker 1: is uncommon Goods? Uncommon Goods is uh, honestly, you just
Speaker 1: you got to check it out yourself. It's an online
Speaker 1: shop filled with unique totally unexpected gifts. And when I
Speaker 1: say unexpected, I mean truly original things that you're not
Speaker 1: gonna find anywhere else. If you're looking for someone like
Speaker 1: my brother Tyler, who has everything, or at least doesn't
Speaker 1: have anythingbody buys anything that he wants, he can gets
Speaker 1: it off Amazon or whatever. If you want to find
Speaker 1: something for a guy like that, or a dad or
Speaker 1: a mom or a girlfriend where you just you think
Speaker 1: they're gonna know what you got, go to Uncommon Goods.
Speaker 1: This is this is a place that they're not going
Speaker 1: to know where or how. It's full of handmade things
Speaker 1: from everything from embroidery, from hand picked artists and experts
Speaker 1: to online cooking classes and mixology, flower arranging. It has
Speaker 1: all kinds of crazy stuff, creative, personalized, really fun gifts
Speaker 1: for couples, especially couples who have it, who have everything.
Speaker 1: So if you're getting bombarded with wedding and bridle shower
Speaker 1: invites and you want to step up your gift, you
Speaker 1: step up your gift game. Uncommon Goods is the place
Speaker 1: to go look for products that are high quality, unique,
Speaker 1: often handmade or made in the US. They don't sell
Speaker 1: products made with leather feathers or first, I don't even
Speaker 1: worry about that. In every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods,
Speaker 1: they give back one dollar to a nonprofit partner of
Speaker 1: your choice, maybe the River Kelly Fund. They've donated more
Speaker 1: than two million dollars today. To get fifteen percent off
Speaker 1: your next gift, go to Uncommon Goods dot com slash granger.
Speaker 1: That's uncommon Goods dot com slash granger for fifteen percent off.
Speaker 1: Don't miss out on this limited time offer Uncommon Goods.
Speaker 1: We're all out of the ordinary. So this is episode
Speaker 1: ninety five, and for episode one hundred, the plan is
Speaker 1: to do like an all star around table. So I
Speaker 1: have Pastor Chad from First Baptist, my friend Bernie, you
Speaker 1: and Amber. That's kind of my thought. We'll just kind
Speaker 1: of go around this table and it's kind of a
Speaker 1: lot of different perspectives and very wise counsel and I
Speaker 1: think it'd be so cool for the episode one just
Speaker 1: to and I could just I'll just kind of host
Speaker 1: it and just kick it around. That'd be great, Okay,
Speaker 1: what a fun thing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't Actually,
Speaker 1: Amber might not, she'll be she will just pop out
Speaker 1: a baby. So yeah, so Pastor Christian back today. You're
Speaker 1: such a such a good listener. Man, it's such good
Speaker 1: advice still And part of the reason I even part
Speaker 1: of the idea behind this podcast of answering question is
Speaker 1: I have a few people in my life that I
Speaker 1: feel so blessed to be able to bounce off things with,
Speaker 1: and I realize that not everyone has that immediately around them,
Speaker 1: and so with this podcast, it really kind of opens
Speaker 1: up that the communication with different people that would get
Speaker 1: access to you. And you probably don't think that. I
Speaker 1: know you don't think that, but it's true. Yeah, well, man,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. It's fun being here, is fun
Speaker 1: doing this, and I'm just glad I can give that. Heck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so digging in here, I'm gonna I'm gonna go down
Speaker 1: from the bottom up. Now we have podcast question hunting
Speaker 1: if life advice regarding lack of relationships bring you that
Speaker 1: one that one yeah, yeah, okay, says please keep my
Speaker 1: name anonymous. I have family members that watch this podcast,
Speaker 1: so that's all I'll say about that, says Hattie Granger.
Speaker 1: I'm from Michigan, been a huge fan of yours for
Speaker 1: seven years. I met you three times over the years,
Speaker 1: and I've seen you in concert twice. I can't wait
Speaker 1: for those days to come back when I could to
Speaker 1: see you again. My question is this, I'm in my
Speaker 1: early thirties. I've never been in a relationship. I tend
Speaker 1: to be pretty shy at first with anybody, but I
Speaker 1: open up and act like a total goof when I'm
Speaker 1: comfortable with them. I do have social anxiety, and I've
Speaker 1: never known what to say to a girl to keep
Speaker 1: a conversation going. I don't know how to approach a girl,
Speaker 1: how to make her enamored with me. I do work out,
Speaker 1: try to take care of myself, and I have a
Speaker 1: good career in the military, but nothing seems to matter.
Speaker 1: I've even tried the dating app stuff for a while.
Speaker 1: I've never had a match the whole time i've had it.
Speaker 1: I have felt for a long time that I won't
Speaker 1: ever get the blessing of spending my time and life
Speaker 1: with a girl. And I'm only getting older without giving
Speaker 1: you my whole life story, in every tiny detail. What
Speaker 1: do you think I could do? I know the whole
Speaker 1: in God's time and leave it in God's hands. But
Speaker 1: humans are meant to spend their life with others, and
Speaker 1: I've been alone and lonely for a very long time.
Speaker 1: On a side note, I've talked to a mental health
Speaker 1: advisor just before to see what I should do or
Speaker 1: how to talk to friends. Thank you for all that
Speaker 1: you do. Ye ye wow. Similar to the to a
Speaker 1: previous question, but we're a completely different age bracket, right,
Speaker 1: and and they're coming at it from a different place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds like this guy, you know it is as
Speaker 1: he's more realistic, He's got realistic expectations and you know
Speaker 1: what grand jury. As you were reading that, I was
Speaker 1: just reminded how you know, we go throughout our every
Speaker 1: day and we never know what someone else is struggling
Speaker 1: with and what someone else is going true and man,
Speaker 1: so as I heard that, I just I don't know
Speaker 1: who you are, but hopefully you're hearing this. We just
Speaker 1: we empathize with you that that's a real struggle. You know,
Speaker 1: you're in your late thirties and I have yet to
Speaker 1: meet the love of your life, for the person you're
Speaker 1: going to spend the rest of your life with. One
Speaker 1: is I want to just say, what kudos to you
Speaker 1: for reaching out for help. As you were reading that,
Speaker 1: I was immediately what I was thinking this, you know
Speaker 1: that maybe could this guy benefit from some from some
Speaker 1: life coaching. But you reached out, says you reached out
Speaker 1: to a mental health professional, and I think that's man.
Speaker 1: I admire that. I appreciate you. I mean, I'm just
Speaker 1: glad that you did that. Hopefully they're going to be
Speaker 1: able to help you if there's anything there. But you know,
Speaker 1: as it relates to women and dating apps and different
Speaker 1: things like that, do you know what you know what women?
Speaker 1: I feel like women are attracted to the most. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's looks. I don't think it's money. I
Speaker 1: think it's confidence, not pride, not arrogance, but just being confident,
Speaker 1: confident in who who you are. Yeah, maybe no matter
Speaker 1: what you look like, no matter what background you come from,
Speaker 1: no matter what education you have, but you're just confident
Speaker 1: in who you are. And so if I could give
Speaker 1: you any advice and that would be learned to be
Speaker 1: confident in who you are, and you know how to
Speaker 1: do that exactly what he wrote in this email to me.
Speaker 1: This email to me says, I'm confident and who I am.
Speaker 1: Here's who I am. I'm a fan of Granger Smith
Speaker 1: for seven years. I in my early thirties. I do
Speaker 1: have social anxiety. I'm not sure how to keep a
Speaker 1: conversation going with a girl. I work out, I take
Speaker 1: care of myself. I have a good career in the military.
Speaker 1: I've tried the whole dating app. Like what you laid
Speaker 1: out here was vulnerable and honest, and that equals confidence.
Speaker 1: Confidence is not of lack of vulnerability or over compensation.
Speaker 1: Confidence is I will not stutter when I tell you
Speaker 1: who I am. Yeah, he's very clear on who he is,
Speaker 1: and I think that's good. That's really important. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is actually a great pitch on a first date.
Speaker 1: I would agree. And I think you're probably father alone
Speaker 1: than you think you are. Yeah, like very few people.
Speaker 1: There's very few emails you get that people articulate themselves
Speaker 1: that way, you know, like that this is who I am. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean imagine sitting at dinner with a girl and
Speaker 1: say it's a first date and you're kind of going
Speaker 1: through the surface level who are you? You know, where
Speaker 1: are you from? And I think that's the time to
Speaker 1: just go you know what, can I tell you something
Speaker 1: kind of strange? But I just have a little bit
Speaker 1: of social anxiety and I've never really known how to
Speaker 1: keep a conversation going with a girl. You say that
Speaker 1: to a girl, I'm telling you, they'll lean in, lean in,
Speaker 1: They're like, Okay, this guy, he's not he's not playing around.
Speaker 1: He knows who he is and he's vulnerable. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's important to a woman. It's a girl in the
Speaker 1: right place at the right time, who's going to go.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it. I'll keep the conversation going. You
Speaker 1: don't have to say anything. Yeah, I would agree, that's yeah,
Speaker 1: you're Sometimes sometimes I read these emails and I think, man,
Speaker 1: are we putting out too much on social media about
Speaker 1: how you're supposed to be? Oh? I think for sure.
Speaker 1: I think there's this image that we portray as both
Speaker 1: men and women. We know this on who were You know,
Speaker 1: what does the ALFML look like? What is the image
Speaker 1: that he's supposed to be? How's he supposed to act,
Speaker 1: how's he supposed to talk? What he's supposed to look like?
Speaker 1: And you know, and any mature woman would tell you that,
Speaker 1: you know, those looks fate and they're not what's important.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day. It's not about how
Speaker 1: you look, how you talk, how you walk. It's about
Speaker 1: who you are, so right, it's about who you are
Speaker 1: as a person. And uh, and I would take this
Speaker 1: second to last paragraph you're talking about. You say, I
Speaker 1: know the whole in God's time and leaving God's hands.
Speaker 1: I would build it. I build this into your prayer.
Speaker 1: And I would say, thought as if almost if David was,
Speaker 1: you know, writing a song, and I would say, God,
Speaker 1: where are you? Because I know I'm supposed to leave
Speaker 1: it in your hands? And that's what I'm doing. But
Speaker 1: I don't hear anything. And I know you tell me
Speaker 1: that man's not so he's supposed to be alone, But
Speaker 1: here I am. I'm alone. I'm alone. Yeah, will you
Speaker 1: help me understand this? Make that into your prayer? What's
Speaker 1: the value in my loneless like? Because it was God?
Speaker 1: What do you teaching? That's what you want? Are you showing?
Speaker 1: Where's the value in this pain? If you will this loneliness?
Speaker 1: That what Christ is saying is the next level of
Speaker 1: maturity And a prayer is when the first level is God,
Speaker 1: why am I alone? And the second level is God,
Speaker 1: I'm alone? What do you need me to learn from this? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So good, great question, buddy, And uh, Yeah, our hearts
Speaker 1: go out to you. I think you're you're you're saying
Speaker 1: and doing all the right things. And when I see
Speaker 1: you next time in a meet and greet at a
Speaker 1: show in Michigan, I want you to come hug my
Speaker 1: neck and say, Hey, I'm the guy. I'm the anonymous guy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am the guy. Let's do a Let's lighten it
Speaker 1: a little bit and do this one. It says hunting. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Braiden from Arkansas. I want to know what your
Speaker 1: favorite big game to hunt, and Braiden, I I have
Speaker 1: ever done any crazy, serious big game Alaska Montana hunt.
Speaker 1: I've dreamed about going on an l hunt touring. Usually
Speaker 1: at work usually holds me out of that. So I
Speaker 1: have shot a mule deer in Mexico, which is the
Speaker 1: biggest game hunt I've ever done, and then a lot
Speaker 1: of white tail and I would love to continue that,
Speaker 1: you know, and explore other options. But man, I just
Speaker 1: I love white tail deer. That's where I grew up
Speaker 1: and with my dad and my brothers. So I have
Speaker 1: such a such fond memories of being in the outdoors
Speaker 1: and being in nature and regardless of what we got.
Speaker 1: So how about you Christian. Yeah, I'm just not that.
Speaker 1: My dad wasn't a hunter, so I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 1: I grew up hunting white tail deer and all that
Speaker 1: in Alabama, but not a big game. Never been on
Speaker 1: a big game trip. Would love to go. Takes a
Speaker 1: lot of yeah, yeah, and it's usually a lot of travel,
Speaker 1: a lot of travel, a lot of time off work. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd love to go. There's not a particular game that
Speaker 1: I'm just if if you just asked me right now,
Speaker 1: what would that kill? What would you want that kill
Speaker 1: to be? I don't I don't have I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: you always think about going to Safari, you know, going
Speaker 1: to Africa and hunting whatever all things over there. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I wish I could give you a better answer to that.
Speaker 1: The one thing if you could say, all right, money
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, time doesn't matter. There's the doll sheep in
Speaker 1: the Northwest Territory of Canada, and to get there you
Speaker 1: have to be flown in, dropped off. It's like a
Speaker 1: nine day hunt. It's like you and one or two
Speaker 1: other guys, ye, and you walk for miles and miles
Speaker 1: through this just incredible northern territory and the odds of
Speaker 1: getting a sheep or like one in fifty you might
Speaker 1: go for nine days. More than likely you'll go for
Speaker 1: nine days and not get anything, but just being in
Speaker 1: those elements. And I have a buddy that did this,
Speaker 1: and he just told stories of what it does to
Speaker 1: you in terms of your gratefulness for a chair or
Speaker 1: a candy bar, or spaghetti dinner, or a nice sleep
Speaker 1: without rain and cold. It's just it's it's truly tribal
Speaker 1: for a man to go into a territory with no
Speaker 1: cell phone service and no amenities and no immediate food source.
Speaker 1: I would agree. So usually once or twice a year,
Speaker 1: my dad and my brothers we get together and we'll
Speaker 1: meet up somewhere and we'll spend four or five days backpacking,
Speaker 1: just trekking, no cell service. Where do you guys go?
Speaker 1: Most recently we went to North Georgia, to the southern
Speaker 1: tip of the Appalachian Mountains. So what time of year
Speaker 1: do you do? In the fall? In the fall, we
Speaker 1: were too hot, or we always go in the fall.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, we were just talking last night.
Speaker 1: I was on the phone with my dad and we
Speaker 1: were trying to figure out where's that week going to be?
Speaker 1: This fall. We're all busy and traveling. But but yeah,
Speaker 1: but to your point though of just being away, no
Speaker 1: seale service, the disconnect and just it's very majestic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but imagine the one and fifty chance, Like, what a
Speaker 1: small percentage if you do get that game, What a
Speaker 1: small percentage you are on the planet that's had that opportunity.
Speaker 1: What a cool opportunity. Yeah, there's probably a short list
Speaker 1: of the men that have ever been able to kill
Speaker 1: that yeah game, you know, Yeah, and you could see it,
Speaker 1: you know, you see it in your binoculars. And then
Speaker 1: you'll start a journey after this this one ram and
Speaker 1: he's always putting the same distance away from you as
Speaker 1: you're putting towards him, and you could spend days going
Speaker 1: after one he'll talk to the next, and then you
Speaker 1: can just you realize, it's day eight. I got to
Speaker 1: get back to the plane. I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: to him. That's it. Yeah, wow, Yeah, thanks for the question, Brandon.
Speaker 1: Let's go back to you. Christian family dilimma relationship advice.
Speaker 1: Help help help us, says here says, good morning. I
Speaker 1: don't know who else I talk to, it says March
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty, I left work for doctor's orders to
Speaker 1: health reasons and COVID. After thirty three years, they let
Speaker 1: me go May first. I was blindsided. They made it
Speaker 1: so I can't claim unemployment. I prayed for God to
Speaker 1: point me in the right direction, asked him to show
Speaker 1: him show me the next job. In July, my buddy's
Speaker 1: wife passed away and she ran his contractor business. I
Speaker 1: went in two weeks later and started helping him until
Speaker 1: I found a job he liked how I took over
Speaker 1: and got the bills paid, closing his wife's business and
Speaker 1: handling all the things with her death. He told his
Speaker 1: accountant that he wanted me on his payroll. That was August.
Speaker 1: Since then, he has paid me three times. I need
Speaker 1: to tell him I need regular pay, but I don't
Speaker 1: know how to approach it. I've asked him a couple times,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if he's forgotten or what I
Speaker 1: was making really good money a year down and God
Speaker 1: bless my wife, or understanding. But I need to figure
Speaker 1: out how to talk to him about this. Any advice.
Speaker 1: I love listening to you on your podcast. God bless
Speaker 1: you and your family. What a tough corbo you gotta have,
Speaker 1: But I think it's a pretty straightforward conversation when you're
Speaker 1: granger like, it's not personal. It's just this kind of
Speaker 1: goes you know, the woman that that was smoking cigarettes
Speaker 1: and the daughter in law needs to talk, and it
Speaker 1: goes back to there's only six or seven answers to
Speaker 1: thousands of questions, and you know, you know you were
Speaker 1: put you were put in this situation. You were you
Speaker 1: were a blessing to their family. So I think if
Speaker 1: you're having hesitations of bringing it up because of the
Speaker 1: death of his wife, you also have to see that
Speaker 1: you've been a blessing to their family, and there should
Speaker 1: be no reason why he shouldn't be putting you on
Speaker 1: this payroll, especially if you want the job. Maybe and
Speaker 1: then this all comes down to communication. Maybe he doesn't
Speaker 1: know if you were just helping or you actually do
Speaker 1: what's right, want the job. That's I'd just sit him
Speaker 1: down and say I would set out a time where
Speaker 1: you say, hey, man, quick, crap lunch on Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think a good way to start that conversation
Speaker 1: is going into the conversation let him know what this
Speaker 1: is not. This conversation is not personal. This conversation is
Speaker 1: not me being ungrateful for the opportunity you've already given me.
Speaker 1: This conversation is literally just about me providing for my family.
Speaker 1: And so we had, you know, and you bring up
Speaker 1: the fact we had a conversation about me coming on
Speaker 1: your payroll. I just need a straightforward answer. Is that
Speaker 1: something that's going to happen in the near future? And
Speaker 1: if not, I've got to find someone's going to provide
Speaker 1: for my family. If I was listening to this podcast
Speaker 1: and and I wrote this email and it says good morning,
Speaker 1: I don't know who else to talk to, that's how
Speaker 1: he starts it, I would pause this podcast right now
Speaker 1: and I'd go back to what Christian just said about
Speaker 1: how to start the conversation, to what this conversation is not.
Speaker 1: I think that is so wise. I would literally write
Speaker 1: that down what you said. Yeah, I think too often
Speaker 1: grainer in conversations, and you can it can be a
Speaker 1: conversation with your spouse, with a family member, with a coworker.
Speaker 1: We're all we don't communicate well, we were misunderstood, and
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we think we make things turn into
Speaker 1: a big deal that didn't need to be a big deal.
Speaker 1: I think I struggle sometimes with my communication to certain individuals,
Speaker 1: so I'm always want to be clear and direct. Hey,
Speaker 1: this is not what I'm saying, although I don't know
Speaker 1: how to fully articulate it, because my feelings are involved,
Speaker 1: because his feelings are involved in he probably feels taken
Speaker 1: advantage of, he feels overlooked. And so to tell you
Speaker 1: that your feelings aren't involved there, they're involved, They're fully there,
Speaker 1: they're they're there. So what I know that I'm going
Speaker 1: into a conversation that is my feelings are involved, or
Speaker 1: I've been hurt, or I'm hurting, or I'm just emotional.
Speaker 1: Like I'm very clear on the front end, like, hey, look,
Speaker 1: this is not what I'm trying to say, although it
Speaker 1: may creep in there a little bit, but it's not
Speaker 1: my heart, you know. Yeah, I think I think there
Speaker 1: is there's nothing wrong with just being totally open in
Speaker 1: a conversation. And here we go again with this being
Speaker 1: vulnerable thing, just just being vulnerable and just saying I'll
Speaker 1: be honest with you. I've struggled with setting up this
Speaker 1: conversation because I'm I'm worried that you might get the
Speaker 1: wrong impression. Worried that I might say the wrong thing,
Speaker 1: because the truth is, Buddy, I love you and your wife,
Speaker 1: and I hurt for you that you lost her, and
Speaker 1: I want to help with the business, but I also
Speaker 1: have my own family and I need this paycheck, and
Speaker 1: I need you to tell me if this is something
Speaker 1: long term or if I need to go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: And I don't want I don't want you to take
Speaker 1: it the wrong way. Yeah, and this is this is
Speaker 1: like one lunch and it takes thirty minutes. You could
Speaker 1: have all of this ease your mind. You don't have
Speaker 1: to email the podcast and say I don't know else
Speaker 1: to talk to, you know, to have communication guys. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's see you pick one. You want me to pick one, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go with a podcast question like the
Speaker 1: generic one. Yeah you know says Hello. My name is William.
Speaker 1: I'm from Plano, Texas. I'm seventeen going on eighteen, and
Speaker 1: I want to tell you how much of a blessing
Speaker 1: you are to me and my family. I love your music,
Speaker 1: I love Yeee apparel. I'm going to become a United
Speaker 1: States Marine when I graduate from high school. And I
Speaker 1: can't wait to be a husband and a father someday.
Speaker 1: Here's my question, what's the best part of about being
Speaker 1: a father and what's the best advice you could give
Speaker 1: about fatherhood and husbandhood as a Christian? Love and christ
Speaker 1: William the best part about being a father. I think
Speaker 1: before we even start, we have to say this question
Speaker 1: is coming a little early for him. It is coming
Speaker 1: earl of the What are what like a seventeen year old?
Speaker 1: Are you thinking about that? What a solid guy? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, He's about to serve our country. Man. I'm
Speaker 1: so I'm so proud, so proud for you. You're becoming
Speaker 1: a marine. You've got a lot going on. Your head
Speaker 1: is just on straight, asking great questions, ending it with
Speaker 1: love and christ and you're you're excited about being a
Speaker 1: husband and a father. So with all that, I would say,
Speaker 1: at the same time, let's go back to what Christian
Speaker 1: I were saying to a lot earlier and just kind
Speaker 1: of lower expectations automatically on what that could mean for you,
Speaker 1: because you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. No,
Speaker 1: you don't know. You may get married in five years
Speaker 1: and have a baby, or you might not. As you
Speaker 1: if you've listened to this podcast, so far. You know
Speaker 1: that there's people that have gone a long time without
Speaker 1: any of that. And but what you do have right
Speaker 1: now is this, this path to the Marine Corps, and
Speaker 1: this is going to take you on an incredible journey,
Speaker 1: maybe even around the world. And and so although I'm
Speaker 1: definitely gonna answer your question, I don't want you to
Speaker 1: worry about this. I would agree. But but the best
Speaker 1: part about being a father is it's a it's a
Speaker 1: that's a broad question. But the fact that you're you're
Speaker 1: leaving this world one day with an imprint of you,
Speaker 1: this is just profound. Is for me, It's it's what
Speaker 1: I'm entrusted with. Yes, for me, it's like I'm entrusted
Speaker 1: to steward three lives. Yes, to teach them, direct them,
Speaker 1: coach them, bother them, parent them, love on them, discipline them.
Speaker 1: That's the best part of it. Yeah, there you're molding
Speaker 1: a clay, Like you said, Yeah, there's so much fulfillment,
Speaker 1: life fulfillment in that. And that when you go through
Speaker 1: life and you're treading through and you you make mistakes
Speaker 1: and then you do things that are good and you
Speaker 1: you store those thoughts away in your mind and you
Speaker 1: go man I'm messed up, and I want to make
Speaker 1: sure that how do I how do I instill this
Speaker 1: in my kids that that this is this wasn't a
Speaker 1: good decision that I made or man, I really got
Speaker 1: I got so much out of this. How do I
Speaker 1: instill in my kids that this is important for them too?
Speaker 1: And then most importantly above all that is Christians. You know,
Speaker 1: there's Christians. The Bible talks a lot about being parents
Speaker 1: and being fathers, and and our job is to steward
Speaker 1: them towards Christ, to lead them to Jesus, because because
Speaker 1: we're called to minister to the world, but it starts
Speaker 1: in our own homes and it starts with our kids.
Speaker 1: And and so what a what an epic responsibility? Uh
Speaker 1: that is? And that is something that you have to
Speaker 1: look forward to, William, And let me let me go
Speaker 1: here now. But I'll say a big giant butt and
Speaker 1: everything we've just said this is going to start with
Speaker 1: with your future wife. And she is going to be
Speaker 1: a partner in this, and she's going to either make
Speaker 1: this very difficult for you or very comforting and easier
Speaker 1: for you. So so put your focus on her first.
Speaker 1: That's the most important decision. Yeah, put your focus on
Speaker 1: her first, outside of outside of choosing to follow Christ.
Speaker 1: That is the second most important decision you'll ever make
Speaker 1: in your life, and then it will impact you. I
Speaker 1: mean has a tremendous empoct obviously, Yeah yeah, but uh
Speaker 1: man congure outs on anything Buddy and raw Marine Corps.
Speaker 1: Let's let's grab one more Christian. We have one time
Speaker 1: for one more if you do, if you're cool, good,
Speaker 1: you want to hit this family dilemma. These kids to
Speaker 1: keep saying it. It's right at the top of the
Speaker 1: email chain now says hey, Grade your longtime listener and fan.
Speaker 1: I currently live in South Austin, Man. That's number two
Speaker 1: for us today on this podcast in Austin eight. But
Speaker 1: we actually met a few years ago when you did
Speaker 1: an appearance on CBS Sports to promote a new album
Speaker 1: in Earl's diplom and pick them my dilemma. I've been
Speaker 1: married to my husband for four years now. We have
Speaker 1: a two year old daughter. We're wanting to start our
Speaker 1: own family traditions and to do things on our own,
Speaker 1: just the three of us. But my mom is having
Speaker 1: a hard time with the idea that this includes doing
Speaker 1: our own thing for the holidays. My husband has had
Speaker 1: a dream ever since he was little to take his
Speaker 1: future wife and kids skiing on a trip for Christmas.
Speaker 1: I side with my husband and he is now my priority.
Speaker 1: But my question is how do I effectively communicate this
Speaker 1: with my mom so that she isn't always so upset
Speaker 1: by this. We have already tried to compromise and do
Speaker 1: Christmas with her at a different time, but she would
Speaker 1: rather us mix the trips or push them back to
Speaker 1: match her schedule. We don't have a big family, and
Speaker 1: big family Christmases have never been really a part of
Speaker 1: our family, but the past two years she's been trying
Speaker 1: to make them a thing. I appreciate you and your help. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have a theme, we do. We have a theme.
Speaker 1: We have a communication theme. Yeah, you know. I think
Speaker 1: you run into that. You see this a lot in
Speaker 1: a lot of family dynamics, don't you grangeur? You see
Speaker 1: how you have in laws or or a mom in
Speaker 1: this case is not even an in law, it's her
Speaker 1: own mother. I think I think too often within our
Speaker 1: family dynamic, like we give mother in laws or even
Speaker 1: parents a little too much weight into like how we're
Speaker 1: going to do say we're gonna do holidays and things
Speaker 1: like that, Like, because I have friends that they have
Speaker 1: the same dilemma, and I'm thinking to myself, but it's
Speaker 1: your You're responsible for your immediate family, and what you
Speaker 1: choose to do with your immediate family is not a
Speaker 1: reflection of that. You don't want to be with your
Speaker 1: in laws or you don't want to be with your
Speaker 1: mother and dad, but it is your responsibility to create
Speaker 1: those traditions with them. Absolutely, And so I think it's
Speaker 1: a direct it's just a conversation. Yeah, I totally agree
Speaker 1: you you did she say your name? She didn't, so
Speaker 1: I won't say it. But she she's saying all the
Speaker 1: right things and just needing affirmation from us that she
Speaker 1: is doing the right thing. And this is a this
Speaker 1: is a conversation that might not be easy. These none
Speaker 1: of these in this podcast, so they will be easy.
Speaker 1: Don't don't expect them to Just the person that you're
Speaker 1: talking to you to go cool, No problem, that's right.
Speaker 1: But here we go again. This is the sixth answers
Speaker 1: to two thousand questions. Be vulnerable, be honest, be forthcoming,
Speaker 1: and everything. Like Christen said, tell her the things that
Speaker 1: this conversation is not. This is not about our lack
Speaker 1: of love for you, mom. This isn't not wanting to
Speaker 1: be with you for the holidays, This isn't disrespecting your traditions.
Speaker 1: But what this is is establishing our core family. We're
Speaker 1: still a young you guys are You have a young family,
Speaker 1: a two year old daughter. That's it. And so this
Speaker 1: is establishing some some really important memories as a family.
Speaker 1: And it's also fulfilling your husband's dream that he wanted
Speaker 1: to do since he was a little kid. You don't
Speaker 1: want to take that away from him, something he's always
Speaker 1: to do. You didn't say this, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to step over the line here, but asking the mother
Speaker 1: to come on the ski trip could be a nice
Speaker 1: little babysitter. If you guys want to go out and
Speaker 1: get a dinner one of those nights and whever your
Speaker 1: ski town is, you have a little date night. Because
Speaker 1: mom's going to be with the with the two years,
Speaker 1: that sounds like a pretty good deal. She might not
Speaker 1: go for it, You might not even want it. But
Speaker 1: I'm throwing it out there, but this is this is
Speaker 1: really cut and dry. The decision is easy, the conversation
Speaker 1: is hard. That's right, And I think to the point
Speaker 1: when I said, don't give her too much weight, like
Speaker 1: have be okay that she may not be okay with
Speaker 1: the decision, like don't don't allow it to don't allow
Speaker 1: it to weigh you down that much, because really you're
Speaker 1: responsible for yourself, perfect man, And it's really it's on
Speaker 1: her on how she wants to respond to this. So
Speaker 1: if you do it lovingly, do it care like, do
Speaker 1: it honoring she's your mother, you would you want to
Speaker 1: honor her in the process. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it's about you and your husband and creating
Speaker 1: your traditions. That's right. So what you're what Christian is
Speaker 1: saying is that this is not a this is not
Speaker 1: a vote, this isn't not a democracy with her. This
Speaker 1: is you're going to be telling her in a very
Speaker 1: empathetic way what you're going to be doing. Yeah, awesome question,
Speaker 1: And thank you Christian for tackling these you're interested in
Speaker 1: this episode one hundred sounds like fun. It's so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and we're gonna we gotta get you back
Speaker 1: for for other ones. I appreciate you driving over here
Speaker 1: and being part of this and you make this podcast better.
Speaker 1: Budy appreciate you due. Thank you guys, thank you thanks
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you. Guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yie