WEBVTT - Don’t take this the wrong way 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:02.920 And I need you to tell me if this is 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:05.600 something long term or if I need to go somewhere else. 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:08.280 And I don't want I don't want you to take 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:23.640 it the wrong way. Christian Williamson back on the podcast today. Man, 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.239 good to have you back, glad to be here. You 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:31.240 are an awesome friend. We have known each other for 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.600 not that long, probably what six seven eight months? Not 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.720 that long, but I feel really close to you. I 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.880 feel like I could unload personal things from my life 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:44.240 to you. You're just that kind of guy. You're such 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:48.800 a good listener, you empathize, you have great advice, which 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.040 is you know. These are the reasons that I love 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:53.840 to have you on this podcast. And I'm glad you're 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.920 back today because as we go through these people's questions, 0:00:58.000 --> 0:00:59.880 and that's what the format of this podcast is. If 0:00:59.920 --> 0:01:03.680 you have anything for us, you email Grangersmith podcast at 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:06.520 gmail dot com and we're going to answer these questions. 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.000 We do this every Monday. Christian, You're great at it. 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.680 You you are one of the pastors at Celebration Church 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:16.000 in Georgetown, Texas. That's right. What is your title? Well, 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:20.240 I'm the ministry's pastor and ministries ministries pastor and associate 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:23.560 campus pastor at the Broadcast campus. So gotcha oversee the 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:26.840 Broadcast campus activities on Sunday and throughout the week, and 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:31.440 then what we do within our different ministries all at 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:36.200 all campuses. So, and you are a bamamn more Eagle 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.840 War Eagle. That's right. Yeah, we got that straight last time. 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.440 This is not a real Tide kind of guy. I 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.319 like that I relate to War Eagle. Do you see 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.800 you think you'd be an Auburn fan if you were well, see, 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.280 I went to Texas A and M okay, and so 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:51.600 the way that the state of Texas is split up, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:55.040 there's it's similar with Role Tide and War Eagle and 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:59.160 hookm Horns and Gigle Maggie's it's kind of similar. And 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.400 so you know A and M is the like the 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:05.920 agricultural college, you know, and I fill a connection with 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:11.079 Auburn in that sense. So I'm gonna take us right 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:12.920 to football. Let's go. I'm gonna take us right to 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.920 I'm to take us right to SEC football. It's good 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:17.520 because we're what a few weeks away, We're so close, 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:21.720 We're so close, and so what better way to to 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.440 start this podcast with a question from you guys once again. 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:28.320 Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Email anything, and this 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:31.040 is a football question. It says, Hey, Grangeer and my 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.560 family and I are big South Carolina game clop fans. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.799 Texas A and M has owned this essince y'all join 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:39.760 the SEC unfortunately, but I can't say enough good things 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.560 about Aggie fans, uh since you guys have joined. It 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:45.679 says I have family and walks a hatchee that i've 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.160 that have and I've never visited, but I have plans 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.120 to go to the Gamecock game when they play the 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:55.080 Aggies and make a big trip out of it for 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:58.280 a potential once in a lifetime trip to College Station, Texas. 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.920 What are the dues and see of an outer towner? 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:03.959 It sounds like I need to go to the Dixie 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:09.760 Chicken ironic for when you guys are playing us fighting chickens. 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.520 It's it's a staple that needs to be checked out. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.120 Do you know if I could stay awake? Do you 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:18.200 know if I could stay awake these days for the 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:22.160 midnight yell or who knows come tailgate with us sometimes 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:26.359 in Colombia gocox ee Andy. So my question, I'll kick 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.920 it to you Christian. First, you have you been to 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.680 Columbia South Carolina? I haven't. I haven't been to a game, 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:34.960 cup stadium or do their game there. Yeah, I've been 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:39.720 to an Auburn an Auburn game, costs game. But yeah, okay, yeah, okay, 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.960 I've been Auburn. It's it's an awesome town. Yeah, I've been. 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.800 I've been. I've toured in every SEC town. Oh wow, 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:49.120 we've played a show and we've seen most of the stadiums. 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:53.840 I've seen Auburn, seen South Carolina, and so I love it. 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.280 I love questions like this because what's so cool. What 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.920 I love about college football is people getting to try 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.520 and and you're going to support your team, but you're 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:06.160 also seeing almost like a new culture. It is. I 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.840 think from one you know what's interesting is I travel 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.880 and go to different stadiums. Is what you said. The 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:16.880 culture of how their tradition, you know, within from one 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:19.400 one team to the next. And I love the community 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.960 and the family, dynamic man and just the camaraderie. They're 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.560 tailgating all of that stuff that goes along with it. 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.320 So yeah, I love that. I want to I want 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.680 to encourage everyone listening. Uh, if you if you go 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.520 to a game, or more importantly, if you're a home 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.520 team welcoming a visitor, just always welcome them with open arms. 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:39.480 It's it just it says so much more about your 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:42.520 school and your town. If you see someone wearing in 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.280 this case, you know, red and black, and they walk 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:47.240 up and red and black and white and you just go, hey, 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.200 welcome to College Station. Yeah, you know, so so excited 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:52.720 to have you guys here. Do you need anything? Let 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:54.800 me know if you need any restaurant advice? You know that. 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:59.160 That's that goes so so far. Just hospitality, hospital hospitality. Yeah, 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:02.400 so Andy, you're you're asking all the right questions. I 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:05.279 think Dixie Chicken would be awesome. It's a it's really old. 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.800 I say really old. It's nineteen seventies. It's not that old, 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:13.760 but iconic and not Yelle is iconic for College Station. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:19.040 So yeah, I think you should stay awake and go 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:22.479 do that. And I don't know when that game is, 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:25.680 but you should probably bring sunscreen and hydrate before you 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:31.000 go because it's college Station, Texas. A's hot. It's the South. Yeah, man, 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.880 thanks for emailing. I hope you guys have fun. And 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:38.080 for all the other schools, out there excited about the season. Yeah, 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.280 really excited. So at this point, Christian, I'm going to 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.320 start knocking out some of these questions, and I don't 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:48.400 really have an order on how deep they are, so 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.600 we might we might go right in to something super deep, 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.280 but I kind of want to. I want to read 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:55.600 some of the titles to you and see if any 0:05:55.640 --> 0:06:02.440 of them stand out to you. Something's missing, Family dilemma, friendship, FRIM, 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:10.560 friendship question, Monster in Law, relationship advice, help, being a 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:15.640 new dad, any of this to the friendship friendship question, 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.960 the one that I stumbled over, says, Hey, Granger, I've 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:22.240 been struggling with some friendships lately where I currently live, 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.760 and it seems like everyone who's called themselves my friend 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:28.320 isn't there when I need someone to talk to. I'm 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.720 actually moving to Austin, Texas soon, and I've considered reaching 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:34.520 out to a local Facebook group to try to make 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:37.400 some new friends down there virtually and then hopefully meet 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:40.080 some of them in person when I move. I really 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.640 need some new friends, but I don't want to sound desperate. 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:48.360 Any advice. Brittany. Brittany works out great that she's moving Austin, 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:51.960 Moving Austin because we could direct her very specifically, very 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.679 specifically to celebration dot Church where there's some incredible people, 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:59.599 great small groups. But you know, Brittany, as I heard that, 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.560 I think it's important that you set. I think in 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:04.400 our relationships and in our friendships, we've got to have 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:08.560 clear expectations, healthy expectations on what we expect out of 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.720 certain relationships. Is there's some people it's Granger set at 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:13.160 the top of this video. There's some people you bring 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.320 in real close, and there's some people you can share 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.680 anything with. But then there are some that you know, 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.280 just it's just important to have realistic expectations on what 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:26.880 that relationship is. And I would ask the question, are 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:31.880 you perhaps putting unrealistic expectations on all of those relationships? 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.760 Interesting because you know, I don't have the capacity to 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:38.680 be extremely close to a lot of people, do any 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:43.160 of us? Yeah? Right? Yeah? So thinks that we should 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.960 be friends with four hundred and seventy three people, right, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.960 It says that right on our Facebook profile. So the 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:52.680 world expects that, isn't that our friends? Yeah? And then 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.840 you think, of course not, of course it's not four 0:07:54.920 --> 0:08:00.880 hundred friends. It's a third of that. Yeah, right, what, Yeah, 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:03.360 it's still too many. It's still still too many. Yeah, 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:05.120 it's still too many. So I just I mean you, 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.360 Brendan again, I hate that you're struggling in this area, 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.480 but just you know, find some Just find a great 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:13.880 group of people, whether it's a Facebook friend group, a 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.360 local church, a gym, you know, like that's kind of 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.680 good group fitness, and latch onto two or three people 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.760 and the poor into that relationship and let them pour 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:28.000 back into you. Absolutely, wouldn't you say that there's we 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:31.400 we kind of take pride. It's such a terrible word. Pride. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:35.320 We take pride in how many friends I think that 0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:41.760 we have when in reality two or three, two or three, Yeah, 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:45.559 really really good friends are so much more valuable than 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.840 twenty three twenty four. Yeah, close friends. I agree. I 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:53.040 think there's a difference between friendships and council So I 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.680 think I need more than two or three councils in 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.520 my life, like wise counsel, someone in investing me and 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.240 helping me with my family, with finances, with my job, 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:04.120 just wise counsel. But I can't be extremely close to 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.080 all of those individuals. Yeah, you know, so lower your 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:10.720 expectations with what you're expecting to get out of it, 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.080 lower your expectations on how many you're expecting to have 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.079 according to what the world thinks that you should have. 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.560 And when you move to Austin. First of all, I 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.960 don't know if the Facebook group before you move virtually, 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:28.560 I don't know if that matters. Maybe set a couple 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:32.040 of things up, but what's really going to matter is 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.120 when you actually move to kind of implant yourself a 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.959 Christian seid of gym is a great thing, or any 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.599 other hobby that you have. Of course, we're going to 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:46.160 recommend Celebration church. There's a central location in Austin. That's that. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:50.520 The central location of Celebration churches is great because it's 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.640 much smaller and much more intimate. How many people are 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.360 in that congregation about two hundred and fifty about two 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:01.079 hundred and fifty and that's a good night. Yeah, yeah, 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:05.319 that's on a yeah, that's on as average attendants, adults attendants. 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:07.480 But this is probably made up with maybe four hundred people. 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:12.120 But not everybody comes every Sunday exactly. So Brittany, you 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.800 do that, We're going to see you there, yes, you know, 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.920 So there's that I want to be your friend Brittany. Yeah. Yeah, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:23.080 so thank you for emailing such a great question. Was 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:27.040 there was there a new dad question? Yeah, memory, we'll 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:32.960 see where it was at being being a new dad, 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:36.079 says Hey Granger. First of all, I just want to 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:38.480 thank you for all your videos that you'll put out. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:43.880 Marshall from Tacoma, Washington. My son recently turned one and 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.960 I love him to death, but I'm struggling with getting 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.319 down and playing with him and being active with him. 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.560 I just feel like I'm talking and playing with myself 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:56.680 seeking advice. Thank you, Marshall from the Tacoma That's a 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:59.920 good question. It's a good question. I felt like that. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:03.720 I have felt like that, and I understand the sentiment 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.640 that Marshall has here because you're playing with a one 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:10.000 year old and you're like, well, I'm playing because I'm 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.280 supposed to be playing and I'm a dad. But is 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:15.480 this kid getting anything out of what we're doing? Yeah, 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:19.320 the answers yes, I would agree. Yeah. I think it's 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.520 it's proximity, you know, it's just the the It's about 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:26.640 just being close to your son. Although you might be 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:28.840 trying to play with the ball with him and he 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.320 may never remember that. Moment, or you're watching TV with 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:32.960 him or whatever it is that a one year old, 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:34.040 I don't know what a one year old does. I 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.600 have teenagers now, so it's been quite a while, but 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:38.839 I think it's important that you're spending time together just 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.800 because you're there's a bond that's happening. Yeah, that proximity, 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:46.400 being close, repetition, just your son constantly seeing your face, 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.960 knowing your voice, knowing your smell. You know, Hey, yeah, 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:54.800 I think that's that's such a good point. And see, Marshall, 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:57.000 we're almost going to say the same things we did 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:00.800 with the last question. Lower your expectation and again you 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:05.280 know we were expectations on what what you're you're expecting 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:10.319 to get out of this moment from you because you 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.280 you to get down on this one year old's level. 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.520 It could be as easy as and did you say 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:19.439 it's a boy or girl son? Yeah? Son, So it's 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.000 as easy as picking him up, taking him outside of 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.960 any and walk them by the leaves of a tree. 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.480 And there's the leaves and put the leaves in reach 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.199 of your son where he could just touch the leaves 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.280 and pull him in and put him on his mouth, 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.640 you know, and it's as easy as that. You don't 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.880 have to play checkers, or you know, you don't have to. 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.800 You don't have to get blocks and build stacks. You 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:50.160 could just walk outside to a tree. And this is 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.120 not only building this bawd with your son, but it's 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:55.680 also it's cultivating the love that you have for him too. 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:57.920 As you think, oh, I would agree. I would agree 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.880 because you're getting it's an intimate of clobes, those personal 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.280 thing that you're able to see your son. You know, 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.240 last week he didn't notice the leaves on the tree, 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.240 but this week he notices the leaves on the tree. 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:09.560 He notices the texture, and he notices the fill and 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.200 the smell and the So it's you getting just really 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.560 that front row seat and watching your watching your son 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:17.400 grow up and mature. The thing about being a new 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.520 dad is that you can't see you're you're in the 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:25.160 trenches now and you can't see from from the outside 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.600 looking in that this this son there, your boy is 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.800 going to change every month and they're and that it 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:36.160 changes drastically. I mean, at one he's going to be walking. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.200 If he's not already walking, he's walking any day now. 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.760 And then he's going to be talking, and then he's 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:42.240 going to be a toddler and he's going to be 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:43.680 on the go, and then he's going to be in 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.679 kindergarten and you, Brent blink and I he's gonna be 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.600 ready for middle school. I would say, cherish these moments, cherishing, 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.320 cherish because they grow up fast. Yeah, it's hard to 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:56.000 do it. Text takes patience and discipline. But just just 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:57.840 know at the end of this, just know you're doing 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:00.280 the right thing by just spending some time with him. Yeah, 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:05.480 so good, we got time. Not got a few more 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:11.559 before the break. We have something's missing, family dilemma, monster 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:15.160 in law. I need relationship advice. Let's do something's missing, 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:18.360 Something's curious. Curiosity's got the best of me. I grangered. 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.840 My name is Zach. I'm from Laramie, Wyoming. I'm twenty 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:24.400 one years old, a junior at the University of Wyoming 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:29.000 study studying wildlife biology and management Go Pokes. I have 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:33.120 a steady job as an eighty A shuttle driver, and 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:35.360 I have great grades. In my free time, I'm going 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:38.640 fishing and camping. But I can't get past the feeling 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.400 that something is missing. I've been trying to find the 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.960 right girl, but I can't seem to get past the 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:46.320 first couple of dates. I try to be a gentleman, 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:51.120 open car doors, buy flowers, come up with unique date ideas, 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.880 but somewhere I'm going wrong and it's hard being let down. 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.280 I understand I'm still young, I have plenty of time, 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.120 but I just want to hear your input on what 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.560 I could do differently or how to approach this in 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:09.880 a different way. Thanks for your time, ye Zach. Yeah, man, Zach, 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.840 I just want to just kind of affirm the season 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.760 of life that you're in. You're twenty one, you're in college, 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:19.440 you feel like something's missing. I can remember being that 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.600 age in my early twenties, and I felt like I 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.120 should be doing more. Yeah, like you know, like I 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.800 felt like because I have friends that were graduating college 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.040 or they were going into their profession, or even some 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:33.000 that were getting married. And so, Zach, I think it's 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:37.240 really you're in that season of life that you feel like, Okay, 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.640 I'm no longer I'm no longer a kid now I'm 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:42.280 an adult, but you're still a very young adult. So 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.280 I would encourage you, man, just as it relates to 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:49.040 the feeling of something missing. Just enjoy this season, finish school, 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:54.080 finish strong. But then there's another another part to that, 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.480 and started talking about dating and girls not being able 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.680 to get through the next couple of dates or the 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.720 first couple of dates. Rather, Man, I don't know, grangeery, 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.840 let you do. Yeah to that point. First of all, 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.240 what you said is great. I remember being twenty one 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:11.560 like it was yesterday. I was single, by the way 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:15.840 zat at that age, and I remember thinking similar thoughts, like, man, 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.720 it'd be kind of cool to have a girlfriend. Yeah, 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:24.040 you know, it seems like everybody else does. And I 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.040 think to speak to something, to speak to you saying 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:29.200 what's wrong with me? It's kind of what you're saying. Yeah, 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.960 you're saying your tritless stuff, what's wrong with me? I'm 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:36.480 going to say right now that all of those things 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:40.840 that you're doing don't matter. They don't reflect who you are. 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.720 You if you had changed the way you opened the door, 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.200 or maybe a different bouquet of flowers, or maybe you 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.800 had a more unique idea for a date, that wouldn't 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:57.080 have mattered. The girls that weren't interested just weren't interested 0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:00.560 in you for none of those other reasons, but because 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:04.040 it didn't work with you. Yeah, it's not a knock 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:09.800 on you. We're just some people are are attracted to 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.520 people for certain reasons. It's gotta be a good fit. 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.119 If you had to come up with a more unique 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:16.879 data idea, you just would have tricked her for a 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:20.640 few more you know, if you had forgotten to open 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:24.040 the car door or bought a different kind of flowers, 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.920 you just would have tricked. Here's what my dad would 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:32.359 tell me. Experience doesn't replace chemistry. So all that dating 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.520 advice like, well, you can have the best data ideas, 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:39.679 but there's no chemistry. There's no chemistry summed everything. Potentially, eventually, 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.639 you know, you're going to run out of experiences, you know, 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:46.280 and so if there's no chemistry there, that's that sums 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:50.359 it up, Zach. Experience cannot replace chemistry, and that's actually 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.960 the better word. Chemistry is the better word than attraction. 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:56.760 So you either have chemistry or you don't. And if 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:01.200 you're truly interested in having a girl, yeah, there's nothing 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:03.520 terribly wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:08.080 that just means keep trying, and here we go again. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.000 Lower your expectations on what you're trying to get out 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.880 of a first date. That's right, and you're twenty one, 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.560 Like it's that feeling of like I feel like I 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:18.560 should be now. I need to be working on marriage, 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:20.680 like finding that woman that I'm going to spend the 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:22.480 rest of my life with. And you're still really young, 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:25.560 So give yourself a little bit of a break, you know, Like, 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.280 it's okay, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Brother, 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:32.680 you have so much time. That doesn't mean you can't 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:36.879 find your future wife tomorrow, but you might find her 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:41.000 in seventeen years. How does that make you feel? You know, 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:43.040 if I tell you that at twenty one that you 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:46.640 might not find her for another twenty one years, maybe 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:51.040 that could be that could give you a lot of anxiety, 0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:52.840 or that could just give you a lot of peace. 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.359 Going well, it's time to focus on my career and 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.280 my friends. And it sounds like you got a lot 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:01.480 going on. You're in college, you have a wild ife 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:06.320 biology major, you're working on what a fun what a 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.800 fun major? You got good grades, you got a good job. 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:13.439 So that the something's missing thing I think, if I 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:16.359 was going to pinpoint what's missing is your expectations are 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:19.040 a little too high for looking around and saying I 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:22.399 wish I had a girlfriend right now, so appreciate the email. Buddy. 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.560 Let's let's get knocked out one more. It'll do a 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:27.399 break sure, and then I'll get your water because I 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.520 promised you water. I forgot, but I'm good. I'm sure 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.359 you are true for a bit. Thank you Christian for 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:36.080 driving over here. I know, but oh man, this is 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.280 not the easiest place in the middle of nowhere to 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.360 come to for a podcast, So it's thank you man. 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:44.000 It's worth it to these listeners. You guys comment below 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.520 how much you love Christian too. If you're on YouTube, 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:50.359 do you have an idea of where you want to 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:53.000 go next year? Yeah? I'm sorry. Read the subjects. Yeah, 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:57.600 family dilemma, monster in law, relationship advice, help, questions, I 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:00.480 need to know grief. Let's do monster in law just 0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:05.639 because because I keep paying it, bait. I'm trying to 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:08.400 keep this short, but my mother in law chain smokes 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.000 all day every day. I don't know if I've ever 0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:13.200 seen her without a cigarette in hand. I have two 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:14.920 year old and one on the way, and my husband 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.280 doesn't see the issue with her having an effect on 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:22.480 our children. He's never seen my side of it. And 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.080 she smokes it. She's been smoking inside her house for 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.280 twenty plus years. All I ask is that she comes 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:31.840 to our home, sees our children and says And my 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:35.360 husband doesn't say that I'm picking on her anymore. Well, 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:37.040 my mother in law, my mother in law and I 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:40.400 haven't gotten along since the birth of my second son. 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.199 I have never kept him from seeing her. How do 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:45.919 I have a convo with him before our newborn is 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.960 born without it causing more issues? I'd like to stay anonymous. 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:55.040 I'm from Virginia. That's kind of a difficult one as 0:20:55.080 --> 0:20:57.639 you're dealing with a mother in law. That's difficult right 0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.760 on the day. But it's interesting because I think the 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.800 in law is choosing to make She has the right 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:07.199 to make her own decisions. Yeah, and unfortunately, you know, 0:21:07.280 --> 0:21:09.200 chain smoking is not a good not a good choice 0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:12.040 for your health. But I feel like as an adult, 0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:15.240 you have to respect that and like, you can't. You 0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:19.000 can't force change on someone, you know, you can't force 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:21.800 her to see the way you see it. Yeah. Now, 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:23.680 if she's changed smoking in front of the children, that's 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.040 a whole you know, in the same room, and that's 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:29.359 a whole nother dynamic. Yah, but we're just talking about 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:33.880 someone who's choosing to do something that's unhealthy. I guess 0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:36.520 the question I would ask, what would the conversation? What 0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.080 are you trying to accomplish by having this conversation with 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.800 your with your husband? So let's dig in it says, 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:43.560 I have a two year old and one of the way, 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:46.920 my husband doesn't see the issue with her habit affecting 0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.680 our children. He never sees my side of it. When 0:21:50.680 --> 0:21:52.960 she also smokes inside her house and she has her 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:57.439 twenty plus years. So she says, all I ask is 0:21:57.440 --> 0:21:59.520 that she comes to our house to see our children. 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.160 Let me read it like she said it, all all, 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:08.560 all this this is from Virginia, is that she comes 0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:10.440