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Speaker 1: And I need you to tell me if this is

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Speaker 1: something long term or if I need to go somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: And I don't want I don't want you to take

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Speaker 1: it the wrong way. Christian Williamson back on the podcast today. Man,

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Speaker 1: good to have you back, glad to be here. You

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Speaker 1: are an awesome friend. We have known each other for

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Speaker 1: not that long, probably what six seven eight months? Not

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Speaker 1: that long, but I feel really close to you. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I could unload personal things from my life

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Speaker 1: to you. You're just that kind of guy. You're such

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Speaker 1: a good listener, you empathize, you have great advice, which

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Speaker 1: is you know. These are the reasons that I love

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Speaker 1: to have you on this podcast. And I'm glad you're

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Speaker 1: back today because as we go through these people's questions,

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Speaker 1: and that's what the format of this podcast is. If

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Speaker 1: you have anything for us, you email Grangersmith podcast at

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Speaker 1: gmail dot com and we're going to answer these questions.

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Speaker 1: We do this every Monday. Christian, You're great at it.

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Speaker 1: You you are one of the pastors at Celebration Church

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Speaker 1: in Georgetown, Texas. That's right. What is your title? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm the ministry's pastor and ministries ministries pastor and associate

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Speaker 1: campus pastor at the Broadcast campus. So gotcha oversee the

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Speaker 1: Broadcast campus activities on Sunday and throughout the week, and

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Speaker 1: then what we do within our different ministries all at

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Speaker 1: all campuses. So, and you are a bamamn more Eagle

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Speaker 1: War Eagle. That's right. Yeah, we got that straight last time.

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Speaker 1: This is not a real Tide kind of guy. I

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Speaker 1: like that I relate to War Eagle. Do you see

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Speaker 1: you think you'd be an Auburn fan if you were well, see,

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Speaker 1: I went to Texas A and M okay, and so

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Speaker 1: the way that the state of Texas is split up,

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Speaker 1: there's it's similar with Role Tide and War Eagle and

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Speaker 1: hookm Horns and Gigle Maggie's it's kind of similar. And

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Speaker 1: so you know A and M is the like the

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Speaker 1: agricultural college, you know, and I fill a connection with

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Speaker 1: Auburn in that sense. So I'm gonna take us right

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Speaker 1: to football. Let's go. I'm gonna take us right to

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Speaker 1: I'm to take us right to SEC football. It's good

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Speaker 1: because we're what a few weeks away, We're so close,

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Speaker 1: We're so close, and so what better way to to

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Speaker 1: start this podcast with a question from you guys once again.

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Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Email anything, and this

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Speaker 1: is a football question. It says, Hey, Grangeer and my

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Speaker 1: family and I are big South Carolina game clop fans.

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Speaker 1: Texas A and M has owned this essince y'all join

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Speaker 1: the SEC unfortunately, but I can't say enough good things

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Speaker 1: about Aggie fans, uh since you guys have joined. It

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Speaker 1: says I have family and walks a hatchee that i've

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Speaker 1: that have and I've never visited, but I have plans

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Speaker 1: to go to the Gamecock game when they play the

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Speaker 1: Aggies and make a big trip out of it for

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Speaker 1: a potential once in a lifetime trip to College Station, Texas.

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Speaker 1: What are the dues and see of an outer towner?

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Speaker 1: It sounds like I need to go to the Dixie

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Speaker 1: Chicken ironic for when you guys are playing us fighting chickens.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a staple that needs to be checked out.

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Speaker 1: Do you know if I could stay awake? Do you

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Speaker 1: know if I could stay awake these days for the

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Speaker 1: midnight yell or who knows come tailgate with us sometimes

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Speaker 1: in Colombia gocox ee Andy. So my question, I'll kick

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Speaker 1: it to you Christian. First, you have you been to

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Speaker 1: Columbia South Carolina? I haven't. I haven't been to a game,

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Speaker 1: cup stadium or do their game there. Yeah, I've been

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Speaker 1: to an Auburn an Auburn game, costs game. But yeah, okay, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I've been Auburn. It's it's an awesome town. Yeah, I've been.

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Speaker 1: I've been. I've toured in every SEC town. Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: we've played a show and we've seen most of the stadiums.

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Speaker 1: I've seen Auburn, seen South Carolina, and so I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love questions like this because what's so cool. What

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Speaker 1: I love about college football is people getting to try

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Speaker 1: and and you're going to support your team, but you're

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Speaker 1: also seeing almost like a new culture. It is. I

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Speaker 1: think from one you know what's interesting is I travel

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Speaker 1: and go to different stadiums. Is what you said. The

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Speaker 1: culture of how their tradition, you know, within from one

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Speaker 1: one team to the next. And I love the community

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Speaker 1: and the family, dynamic man and just the camaraderie. They're

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Speaker 1: tailgating all of that stuff that goes along with it.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I love that. I want to I want

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Speaker 1: to encourage everyone listening. Uh, if you if you go

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Speaker 1: to a game, or more importantly, if you're a home

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Speaker 1: team welcoming a visitor, just always welcome them with open arms.

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Speaker 1: It's it just it says so much more about your

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Speaker 1: school and your town. If you see someone wearing in

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Speaker 1: this case, you know, red and black, and they walk

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Speaker 1: up and red and black and white and you just go, hey,

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Speaker 1: welcome to College Station. Yeah, you know, so so excited

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Speaker 1: to have you guys here. Do you need anything? Let

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Speaker 1: me know if you need any restaurant advice? You know that.

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Speaker 1: That's that goes so so far. Just hospitality, hospital hospitality. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so Andy, you're you're asking all the right questions. I

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Speaker 1: think Dixie Chicken would be awesome. It's a it's really old.

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Speaker 1: I say really old. It's nineteen seventies. It's not that old,

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Speaker 1: but iconic and not Yelle is iconic for College Station.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you should stay awake and go

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Speaker 1: do that. And I don't know when that game is,

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Speaker 1: but you should probably bring sunscreen and hydrate before you

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Speaker 1: go because it's college Station, Texas. A's hot. It's the South. Yeah, man,

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Speaker 1: thanks for emailing. I hope you guys have fun. And

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Speaker 1: for all the other schools, out there excited about the season. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: really excited. So at this point, Christian, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: start knocking out some of these questions, and I don't

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Speaker 1: really have an order on how deep they are, so

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Speaker 1: we might we might go right in to something super deep,

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Speaker 1: but I kind of want to. I want to read

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Speaker 1: some of the titles to you and see if any

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Speaker 1: of them stand out to you. Something's missing, Family dilemma, friendship, FRIM,

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Speaker 1: friendship question, Monster in Law, relationship advice, help, being a

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Speaker 1: new dad, any of this to the friendship friendship question,

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Speaker 1: the one that I stumbled over, says, Hey, Granger, I've

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Speaker 1: been struggling with some friendships lately where I currently live,

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Speaker 1: and it seems like everyone who's called themselves my friend

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Speaker 1: isn't there when I need someone to talk to. I'm

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Speaker 1: actually moving to Austin, Texas soon, and I've considered reaching

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Speaker 1: out to a local Facebook group to try to make

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Speaker 1: some new friends down there virtually and then hopefully meet

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Speaker 1: some of them in person when I move. I really

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Speaker 1: need some new friends, but I don't want to sound desperate.

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Speaker 1: Any advice. Brittany. Brittany works out great that she's moving Austin,

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Speaker 1: Moving Austin because we could direct her very specifically, very

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Speaker 1: specifically to celebration dot Church where there's some incredible people,

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Speaker 1: great small groups. But you know, Brittany, as I heard that,

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Speaker 1: I think it's important that you set. I think in

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Speaker 1: our relationships and in our friendships, we've got to have

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Speaker 1: clear expectations, healthy expectations on what we expect out of

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Speaker 1: certain relationships. Is there's some people it's Granger set at

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Speaker 1: the top of this video. There's some people you bring

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Speaker 1: in real close, and there's some people you can share

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Speaker 1: anything with. But then there are some that you know,

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Speaker 1: just it's just important to have realistic expectations on what

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Speaker 1: that relationship is. And I would ask the question, are

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Speaker 1: you perhaps putting unrealistic expectations on all of those relationships?

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Speaker 1: Interesting because you know, I don't have the capacity to

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Speaker 1: be extremely close to a lot of people, do any

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Speaker 1: of us? Yeah? Right? Yeah? So thinks that we should

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Speaker 1: be friends with four hundred and seventy three people, right,

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Speaker 1: It says that right on our Facebook profile. So the

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Speaker 1: world expects that, isn't that our friends? Yeah? And then

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Speaker 1: you think, of course not, of course it's not four

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Speaker 1: hundred friends. It's a third of that. Yeah, right, what, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's still too many. It's still still too many. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's still too many. So I just I mean you,

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Speaker 1: Brendan again, I hate that you're struggling in this area,

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Speaker 1: but just you know, find some Just find a great

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Speaker 1: group of people, whether it's a Facebook friend group, a

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Speaker 1: local church, a gym, you know, like that's kind of

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Speaker 1: good group fitness, and latch onto two or three people

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Speaker 1: and the poor into that relationship and let them pour

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Speaker 1: back into you. Absolutely, wouldn't you say that there's we

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Speaker 1: we kind of take pride. It's such a terrible word. Pride.

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Speaker 1: We take pride in how many friends I think that

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Speaker 1: we have when in reality two or three, two or three, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: really really good friends are so much more valuable than

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Speaker 1: twenty three twenty four. Yeah, close friends. I agree. I

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Speaker 1: think there's a difference between friendships and council So I

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Speaker 1: think I need more than two or three councils in

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Speaker 1: my life, like wise counsel, someone in investing me and

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Speaker 1: helping me with my family, with finances, with my job,

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Speaker 1: just wise counsel. But I can't be extremely close to

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Speaker 1: all of those individuals. Yeah, you know, so lower your

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Speaker 1: expectations with what you're expecting to get out of it,

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Speaker 1: lower your expectations on how many you're expecting to have

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Speaker 1: according to what the world thinks that you should have.

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Speaker 1: And when you move to Austin. First of all, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if the Facebook group before you move virtually,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that matters. Maybe set a couple

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Speaker 1: of things up, but what's really going to matter is

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Speaker 1: when you actually move to kind of implant yourself a

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Speaker 1: Christian seid of gym is a great thing, or any

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Speaker 1: other hobby that you have. Of course, we're going to

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Speaker 1: recommend Celebration church. There's a central location in Austin. That's that.

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Speaker 1: The central location of Celebration churches is great because it's

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Speaker 1: much smaller and much more intimate. How many people are

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Speaker 1: in that congregation about two hundred and fifty about two

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Speaker 1: hundred and fifty and that's a good night. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's on a yeah, that's on as average attendants, adults attendants.

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Speaker 1: But this is probably made up with maybe four hundred people.

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Speaker 1: But not everybody comes every Sunday exactly. So Brittany, you

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Speaker 1: do that, We're going to see you there, yes, you know,

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Speaker 1: So there's that I want to be your friend Brittany. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so thank you for emailing such a great question. Was

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Speaker 1: there was there a new dad question? Yeah, memory, we'll

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Speaker 1: see where it was at being being a new dad,

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Speaker 1: says Hey Granger. First of all, I just want to

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Speaker 1: thank you for all your videos that you'll put out.

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Speaker 1: Marshall from Tacoma, Washington. My son recently turned one and

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Speaker 1: I love him to death, but I'm struggling with getting

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Speaker 1: down and playing with him and being active with him.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm talking and playing with myself

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Speaker 1: seeking advice. Thank you, Marshall from the Tacoma That's a

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Speaker 1: good question. It's a good question. I felt like that.

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Speaker 1: I have felt like that, and I understand the sentiment

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Speaker 1: that Marshall has here because you're playing with a one

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Speaker 1: year old and you're like, well, I'm playing because I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to be playing and I'm a dad. But is

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Speaker 1: this kid getting anything out of what we're doing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the answers yes, I would agree. Yeah. I think it's

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Speaker 1: it's proximity, you know, it's just the the It's about

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Speaker 1: just being close to your son. Although you might be

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Speaker 1: trying to play with the ball with him and he

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Speaker 1: may never remember that. Moment, or you're watching TV with

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Speaker 1: him or whatever it is that a one year old,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what a one year old does. I

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Speaker 1: have teenagers now, so it's been quite a while, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's important that you're spending time together just

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Speaker 1: because you're there's a bond that's happening. Yeah, that proximity,

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Speaker 1: being close, repetition, just your son constantly seeing your face,

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Speaker 1: knowing your voice, knowing your smell. You know, Hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's that's such a good point. And see, Marshall,

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Speaker 1: we're almost going to say the same things we did

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Speaker 1: with the last question. Lower your expectation and again you

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Speaker 1: know we were expectations on what what you're you're expecting

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Speaker 1: to get out of this moment from you because you

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Speaker 1: you to get down on this one year old's level.

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Speaker 1: It could be as easy as and did you say

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Speaker 1: it's a boy or girl son? Yeah? Son, So it's

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Speaker 1: as easy as picking him up, taking him outside of

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Speaker 1: any and walk them by the leaves of a tree.

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Speaker 1: And there's the leaves and put the leaves in reach

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Speaker 1: of your son where he could just touch the leaves

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Speaker 1: and pull him in and put him on his mouth,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's as easy as that. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to play checkers, or you know, you don't have to.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to get blocks and build stacks. You

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Speaker 1: could just walk outside to a tree. And this is

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Speaker 1: not only building this bawd with your son, but it's

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Speaker 1: also it's cultivating the love that you have for him too.

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Speaker 1: As you think, oh, I would agree. I would agree

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Speaker 1: because you're getting it's an intimate of clobes, those personal

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Speaker 1: thing that you're able to see your son. You know,

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Speaker 1: last week he didn't notice the leaves on the tree,

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Speaker 1: but this week he notices the leaves on the tree.

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Speaker 1: He notices the texture, and he notices the fill and

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Speaker 1: the smell and the So it's you getting just really

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Speaker 1: that front row seat and watching your watching your son

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Speaker 1: grow up and mature. The thing about being a new

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Speaker 1: dad is that you can't see you're you're in the

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Speaker 1: trenches now and you can't see from from the outside

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Speaker 1: looking in that this this son there, your boy is

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Speaker 1: going to change every month and they're and that it

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Speaker 1: changes drastically. I mean, at one he's going to be walking.

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Speaker 1: If he's not already walking, he's walking any day now.

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Speaker 1: And then he's going to be talking, and then he's

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Speaker 1: going to be a toddler and he's going to be

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Speaker 1: on the go, and then he's going to be in

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Speaker 1: kindergarten and you, Brent blink and I he's gonna be

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Speaker 1: ready for middle school. I would say, cherish these moments, cherishing,

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Speaker 1: cherish because they grow up fast. Yeah, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: do it. Text takes patience and discipline. But just just

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Speaker 1: know at the end of this, just know you're doing

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Speaker 1: the right thing by just spending some time with him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so good, we got time. Not got a few more

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Speaker 1: before the break. We have something's missing, family dilemma, monster

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Speaker 1: in law. I need relationship advice. Let's do something's missing,

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Speaker 1: Something's curious. Curiosity's got the best of me. I grangered.

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Speaker 1: My name is Zach. I'm from Laramie, Wyoming. I'm twenty

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Speaker 1: one years old, a junior at the University of Wyoming

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Speaker 1: study studying wildlife biology and management Go Pokes. I have

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Speaker 1: a steady job as an eighty A shuttle driver, and

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Speaker 1: I have great grades. In my free time, I'm going

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Speaker 1: fishing and camping. But I can't get past the feeling

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Speaker 1: that something is missing. I've been trying to find the

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Speaker 1: right girl, but I can't seem to get past the

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Speaker 1: first couple of dates. I try to be a gentleman,

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Speaker 1: open car doors, buy flowers, come up with unique date ideas,

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Speaker 1: but somewhere I'm going wrong and it's hard being let down.

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Speaker 1: I understand I'm still young, I have plenty of time,

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Speaker 1: but I just want to hear your input on what

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Speaker 1: I could do differently or how to approach this in

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Speaker 1: a different way. Thanks for your time, ye Zach. Yeah, man, Zach,

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Speaker 1: I just want to just kind of affirm the season

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Speaker 1: of life that you're in. You're twenty one, you're in college,

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Speaker 1: you feel like something's missing. I can remember being that

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Speaker 1: age in my early twenties, and I felt like I

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Speaker 1: should be doing more. Yeah, like you know, like I

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Speaker 1: felt like because I have friends that were graduating college

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Speaker 1: or they were going into their profession, or even some

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Speaker 1: that were getting married. And so, Zach, I think it's

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Speaker 1: really you're in that season of life that you feel like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm no longer I'm no longer a kid now I'm

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Speaker 1: an adult, but you're still a very young adult. So

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Speaker 1: I would encourage you, man, just as it relates to

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Speaker 1: the feeling of something missing. Just enjoy this season, finish school,

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Speaker 1: finish strong. But then there's another another part to that,

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Speaker 1: and started talking about dating and girls not being able

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Speaker 1: to get through the next couple of dates or the

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Speaker 1: first couple of dates. Rather, Man, I don't know, grangeery,

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Speaker 1: let you do. Yeah to that point. First of all,

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Speaker 1: what you said is great. I remember being twenty one

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Speaker 1: like it was yesterday. I was single, by the way

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Speaker 1: zat at that age, and I remember thinking similar thoughts, like, man,

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Speaker 1: it'd be kind of cool to have a girlfriend. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, it seems like everybody else does. And I

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Speaker 1: think to speak to something, to speak to you saying

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? It's kind of what you're saying. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're saying your tritless stuff, what's wrong with me? I'm

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Speaker 1: going to say right now that all of those things

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Speaker 1: that you're doing don't matter. They don't reflect who you are.

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Speaker 1: You if you had changed the way you opened the door,

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Speaker 1: or maybe a different bouquet of flowers, or maybe you

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Speaker 1: had a more unique idea for a date, that wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have mattered. The girls that weren't interested just weren't interested

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Speaker 1: in you for none of those other reasons, but because

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Speaker 1: it didn't work with you. Yeah, it's not a knock

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Speaker 1: on you. We're just some people are are attracted to

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Speaker 1: people for certain reasons. It's gotta be a good fit.

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Speaker 1: If you had to come up with a more unique

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Speaker 1: data idea, you just would have tricked her for a

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Speaker 1: few more you know, if you had forgotten to open

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Speaker 1: the car door or bought a different kind of flowers,

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Speaker 1: you just would have tricked. Here's what my dad would

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Speaker 1: tell me. Experience doesn't replace chemistry. So all that dating

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Speaker 1: advice like, well, you can have the best data ideas,

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Speaker 1: but there's no chemistry. There's no chemistry summed everything. Potentially, eventually,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're going to run out of experiences, you know,

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Speaker 1: and so if there's no chemistry there, that's that sums

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Speaker 1: it up, Zach. Experience cannot replace chemistry, and that's actually

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Speaker 1: the better word. Chemistry is the better word than attraction.

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Speaker 1: So you either have chemistry or you don't. And if

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Speaker 1: you're truly interested in having a girl, yeah, there's nothing

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Speaker 1: terribly wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But

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Speaker 1: that just means keep trying, and here we go again.

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Speaker 1: Lower your expectations on what you're trying to get out

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Speaker 1: of a first date. That's right, and you're twenty one,

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Speaker 1: Like it's that feeling of like I feel like I

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Speaker 1: should be now. I need to be working on marriage,

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Speaker 1: like finding that woman that I'm going to spend the

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Speaker 1: rest of my life with. And you're still really young,

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Speaker 1: So give yourself a little bit of a break, you know, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Brother,

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Speaker 1: you have so much time. That doesn't mean you can't

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Speaker 1: find your future wife tomorrow, but you might find her

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Speaker 1: in seventeen years. How does that make you feel? You know,

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Speaker 1: if I tell you that at twenty one that you

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Speaker 1: might not find her for another twenty one years, maybe

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Speaker 1: that could be that could give you a lot of anxiety,

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Speaker 1: or that could just give you a lot of peace.

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Speaker 1: Going well, it's time to focus on my career and

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Speaker 1: my friends. And it sounds like you got a lot

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Speaker 1: going on. You're in college, you have a wild ife

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Speaker 1: biology major, you're working on what a fun what a

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Speaker 1: fun major? You got good grades, you got a good job.

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Speaker 1: So that the something's missing thing I think, if I

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Speaker 1: was going to pinpoint what's missing is your expectations are

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Speaker 1: a little too high for looking around and saying I

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Speaker 1: wish I had a girlfriend right now, so appreciate the email. Buddy.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's get knocked out one more. It'll do a

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Speaker 1: break sure, and then I'll get your water because I

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00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 1: promised you water. I forgot, but I'm good. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you are true for a bit. Thank you Christian for

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Speaker 1: driving over here. I know, but oh man, this is

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00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 1: not the easiest place in the middle of nowhere to

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Speaker 1: come to for a podcast, So it's thank you man.

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Speaker 1: It's worth it to these listeners. You guys comment below

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Speaker 1: how much you love Christian too. If you're on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: do you have an idea of where you want to

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Speaker 1: go next year? Yeah? I'm sorry. Read the subjects. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: family dilemma, monster in law, relationship advice, help, questions, I

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Speaker 1: need to know grief. Let's do monster in law just

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Speaker 1: because because I keep paying it, bait. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: keep this short, but my mother in law chain smokes

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Speaker 1: all day every day. I don't know if I've ever

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Speaker 1: seen her without a cigarette in hand. I have two

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Speaker 1: year old and one on the way, and my husband

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Speaker 1: doesn't see the issue with her having an effect on

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Speaker 1: our children. He's never seen my side of it. And

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Speaker 1: she smokes it. She's been smoking inside her house for

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Speaker 1: twenty plus years. All I ask is that she comes

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Speaker 1: to our home, sees our children and says And my

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Speaker 1: husband doesn't say that I'm picking on her anymore. Well,

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Speaker 1: my mother in law, my mother in law and I

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Speaker 1: haven't gotten along since the birth of my second son.

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Speaker 1: I have never kept him from seeing her. How do

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Speaker 1: I have a convo with him before our newborn is

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Speaker 1: born without it causing more issues? I'd like to stay anonymous.

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Speaker 1: I'm from Virginia. That's kind of a difficult one as

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Speaker 1: you're dealing with a mother in law. That's difficult right

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Speaker 1: on the day. But it's interesting because I think the

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Speaker 1: in law is choosing to make She has the right

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Speaker 1: to make her own decisions. Yeah, and unfortunately, you know,

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Speaker 1: chain smoking is not a good not a good choice

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Speaker 1: for your health. But I feel like as an adult,

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Speaker 1: you have to respect that and like, you can't. You

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Speaker 1: can't force change on someone, you know, you can't force

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Speaker 1: her to see the way you see it. Yeah. Now,

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Speaker 1: if she's changed smoking in front of the children, that's

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Speaker 1: a whole you know, in the same room, and that's

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Speaker 1: a whole nother dynamic. Yah, but we're just talking about

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Speaker 1: someone who's choosing to do something that's unhealthy. I guess

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Speaker 1: the question I would ask, what would the conversation? What

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Speaker 1: are you trying to accomplish by having this conversation with

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Speaker 1: your with your husband? So let's dig in it says,

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Speaker 1: I have a two year old and one of the way,

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Speaker 1: my husband doesn't see the issue with her habit affecting

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Speaker 1: our children. He never sees my side of it. When

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Speaker 1: she also smokes inside her house and she has her

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Speaker 1: twenty plus years. So she says, all I ask is

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Speaker 1: that she comes to our house to see our children.

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Speaker 1: Let me read it like she said it, all all,

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Speaker 1: all this this is from Virginia, is that she comes

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Speaker 1: to our house to see our children. And he says,

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Speaker 1: I'm picking on her. So this is this is boiling

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Speaker 1: down to communication between her and her husband. And that's

404
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Speaker 1: really the bottom line of this whole question. I mean,

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Speaker 1: none of us have a question about is cigarette smoked bad?

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Speaker 1: I will say that that people grew up for generations

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Speaker 1: breathing it in. Man, you know what I mean. I

408
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: grew up my grand Both of my grandparents changed smoked

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Speaker 1: and they had a white ceiling, and uh, next to

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00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 1: my grandfather's chair, there was a yellow ring almost ceiling

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Speaker 1: where he would just sit and the smoke would just yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean like you would have to fight a cloud

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Speaker 1: of smoke to go in their home. Yeah. I remember

414
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Speaker 1: my grandpa. He always got up really early, you know,

415
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Speaker 1: at five in the morning. He would go in there

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Speaker 1: and drink a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette

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Speaker 1: or chain smokes cigarettes and think about the hard day

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Speaker 1: that he was about to have, you know. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: so as a little kid, I remember waking up. Little

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Speaker 1: kids get up early, and I'd go in there and

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Speaker 1: just sit in there with him. And I don't remember

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Speaker 1: anyone worrying about me being around that, And I don't

423
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: Maybe i'd be a better human if I didn't smell

424
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 1: that at the time. I don't know, but I don't

425
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 1: think it affected me. And I don't want to undermine

426
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 1: the email here of a mother that's actually concerned about

427
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: her kids. Yeah, because the truth is is it does

428
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: have a negative it and of course it does, you know,

429
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: But what this really boils down to is a conversation

430
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: with your husband. And so you're asking, how do I

431
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 1: have a convo with him before our knewborn was born. Well,

432
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: if you sit down and say, babe, can I talk

433
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: to you about something, something that's really on my heart

434
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: and you have to be you have to empathize with him.

435
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: It's his mama. You're talking about his mama, and he's

436
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: been around in his whole life. Nothing wrong with it.

437
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: Now on on his side, he needs to have an

438
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 1: allegiance to you. That's hiring his mama. We get that,

439
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: so we're not questioning that either. But if you come

440
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: in being vulnerable, empathizing with him that this is his

441
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: mother we're talking about as kind as you can be,

442
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: regardless of how he reacts to it, and you just say, babe,

443
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: I talk to you about something with this baby on

444
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: the way. I was wondering if we could. It really

445
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: bothers me if our kids are around smoke. It doesn't

446
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: bother me that they're around your mother, because I want

447
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: him to have this grandmother relationship that just the cigarettes thing.

448
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: Can you talk to her about it? Maybe we could

449
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: just cut back a little bit, or or we could

450
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 1: be outside a little bit more when she's playing with them.

451
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 1: But anyway, come to the table with empathy. I think

452
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: that's the key is the way you said it is

453
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: I want them to be around your mother. I just

454
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 1: don't want them to be around the smoke. So you

455
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: have to you got to make sure you you just communicate.

456
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 1: There's a difference there because it's so easy to say

457
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: I don't want them to go around your mother because

458
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,479
Speaker 1: she smokes. Yeah, Like do you hear and when you

459
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: hear that right, like, well, no, you just said I

460
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: don't want you to be I don't want to be

461
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: around your mother. So you've got to make sure you

462
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:19,120
Speaker 1: just communicate, isn't it to your point earlier on, it's

463
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: it's all about communication. Yeah, it's funny. I was talking

464
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: to Amber earlier today and with all these questions, thousands

465
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: of questions, there's like five or six answers for all

466
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: of them. It's you need Jesus need communication, you need patience,

467
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: clear contentment, you need clear expectations. You know, there's like

468
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 1: six answers and this one is uh and and all

469
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: of them were almost all of them combined at some level.

470
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: But this is this is a conversation question. That's about communication,

471
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: and we should all be able to communicate with those

472
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: around us that we love in a way where there

473
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: is we're not attacking them, and you have to be

474
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: have to be aware that when you start the conversation,

475
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: you're not attacking or or defending yourself because these are

476
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: his kids too, for sure, so you have the motherly instinct,

477
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 1: but you're also these are his kids, and you guys

478
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 1: both have a say once. I can't I can't repeat

479
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: enough that christ and I are not advocating that it's

480
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: okay for kids to be around cigarette smoke. But I'm

481
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: just trying to I'm trying to diminish that that's not

482
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: the true problem. It sounds like here, yeah, I think,

483
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: and I read one on this podcast recently where it

484
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: was like the same thing, but the grandmother was giving

485
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 1: the kids candy too much, and so it's like the

486
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: same thing where it's I need to talk to the

487
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 1: husband about why why they're giving them candy too much.

488
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: That's so it's like cigarettes and candy aren't the problem,

489
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,239
Speaker 1: it's communication. Thank you for this email. We're gonna take

490
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: a quick break. I'm gonna get Christiana water. We'll be

491
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: right back. Time podcast is brought to you guys today

492
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,600
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503
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505
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Speaker 1: Podcast is also brought to you by Uncommon Goods. What

530
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Speaker 1: is uncommon Goods? Uncommon Goods is uh, honestly, you just

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560
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Speaker 1: We're all out of the ordinary. So this is episode

561
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: ninety five, and for episode one hundred, the plan is

562
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: to do like an all star around table. So I

563
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: have Pastor Chad from First Baptist, my friend Bernie, you

564
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: and Amber. That's kind of my thought. We'll just kind

565
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: of go around this table and it's kind of a

566
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: lot of different perspectives and very wise counsel and I

567
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: think it'd be so cool for the episode one just

568
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: to and I could just I'll just kind of host

569
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: it and just kick it around. That'd be great, Okay,

570
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: what a fun thing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't Actually,

571
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: Amber might not, she'll be she will just pop out

572
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: a baby. So yeah, so Pastor Christian back today. You're

573
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: such a such a good listener. Man, it's such good

574
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: advice still And part of the reason I even part

575
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: of the idea behind this podcast of answering question is

576
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: I have a few people in my life that I

577
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: feel so blessed to be able to bounce off things with,

578
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: and I realize that not everyone has that immediately around them,

579
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: and so with this podcast, it really kind of opens

580
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: up that the communication with different people that would get

581
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: access to you. And you probably don't think that. I

582
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: know you don't think that, but it's true. Yeah, well, man,

583
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. It's fun being here, is fun

584
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: doing this, and I'm just glad I can give that. Heck. Yeah,

585
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: so digging in here, I'm gonna I'm gonna go down

586
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,959
Speaker 1: from the bottom up. Now we have podcast question hunting

587
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: if life advice regarding lack of relationships bring you that

588
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: one that one yeah, yeah, okay, says please keep my

589
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: name anonymous. I have family members that watch this podcast,

590
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,719
Speaker 1: so that's all I'll say about that, says Hattie Granger.

591
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: I'm from Michigan, been a huge fan of yours for

592
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: seven years. I met you three times over the years,

593
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: and I've seen you in concert twice. I can't wait

594
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: for those days to come back when I could to

595
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: see you again. My question is this, I'm in my

596
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: early thirties. I've never been in a relationship. I tend

597
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: to be pretty shy at first with anybody, but I

598
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: open up and act like a total goof when I'm

599
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: comfortable with them. I do have social anxiety, and I've

600
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: never known what to say to a girl to keep

601
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: a conversation going. I don't know how to approach a girl,

602
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: how to make her enamored with me. I do work out,

603
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: try to take care of myself, and I have a

604
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 1: good career in the military, but nothing seems to matter.

605
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: I've even tried the dating app stuff for a while.

606
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: I've never had a match the whole time i've had it.

607
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: I have felt for a long time that I won't

608
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: ever get the blessing of spending my time and life

609
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: with a girl. And I'm only getting older without giving

610
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: you my whole life story, in every tiny detail. What

611
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: do you think I could do? I know the whole

612
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: in God's time and leave it in God's hands. But

613
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: humans are meant to spend their life with others, and

614
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: I've been alone and lonely for a very long time.

615
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: On a side note, I've talked to a mental health

616
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: advisor just before to see what I should do or

617
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: how to talk to friends. Thank you for all that

618
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: you do. Ye ye wow. Similar to the to a

619
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: previous question, but we're a completely different age bracket, right,

620
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: and and they're coming at it from a different place. Yeah,

621
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: it sounds like this guy, you know it is as

622
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: he's more realistic, He's got realistic expectations and you know

623
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: what grand jury. As you were reading that, I was

624
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: just reminded how you know, we go throughout our every

625
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 1: day and we never know what someone else is struggling

626
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: with and what someone else is going true and man,

627
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: so as I heard that, I just I don't know

628
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 1: who you are, but hopefully you're hearing this. We just

629
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: we empathize with you that that's a real struggle. You know,

630
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 1: you're in your late thirties and I have yet to

631
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 1: meet the love of your life, for the person you're

632
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: going to spend the rest of your life with. One

633
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: is I want to just say, what kudos to you

634
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 1: for reaching out for help. As you were reading that,

635
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: I was immediately what I was thinking this, you know

636
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: that maybe could this guy benefit from some from some

637
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 1: life coaching. But you reached out, says you reached out

638
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: to a mental health professional, and I think that's man.

639
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: I admire that. I appreciate you. I mean, I'm just

640
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: glad that you did that. Hopefully they're going to be

641
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: able to help you if there's anything there. But you know,

642
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: as it relates to women and dating apps and different

643
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,240
Speaker 1: things like that, do you know what you know what women?

644
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 1: I feel like women are attracted to the most. I

645
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: don't think it's looks. I don't think it's money. I

646
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: think it's confidence, not pride, not arrogance, but just being confident,

647
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: confident in who who you are. Yeah, maybe no matter

648
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 1: what you look like, no matter what background you come from,

649
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: no matter what education you have, but you're just confident

650
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 1: in who you are. And so if I could give

651
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: you any advice and that would be learned to be

652
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: confident in who you are, and you know how to

653
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 1: do that exactly what he wrote in this email to me.

654
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: This email to me says, I'm confident and who I am.

655
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,240
Speaker 1: Here's who I am. I'm a fan of Granger Smith

656
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 1: for seven years. I in my early thirties. I do

657
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: have social anxiety. I'm not sure how to keep a

658
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: conversation going with a girl. I work out, I take

659
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: care of myself. I have a good career in the military.

660
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: I've tried the whole dating app. Like what you laid

661
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: out here was vulnerable and honest, and that equals confidence.

662
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: Confidence is not of lack of vulnerability or over compensation.

663
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: Confidence is I will not stutter when I tell you

664
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: who I am. Yeah, he's very clear on who he is,

665
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,919
Speaker 1: and I think that's good. That's really important. Yeah, yeah,

666
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: this is actually a great pitch on a first date.

667
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: I would agree. And I think you're probably father alone

668
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 1: than you think you are. Yeah, like very few people.

669
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: There's very few emails you get that people articulate themselves

670
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: that way, you know, like that this is who I am. Yeah.

671
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 1: I mean imagine sitting at dinner with a girl and

672
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: say it's a first date and you're kind of going

673
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: through the surface level who are you? You know, where

674
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: are you from? And I think that's the time to

675
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: just go you know what, can I tell you something

676
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: kind of strange? But I just have a little bit

677
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: of social anxiety and I've never really known how to

678
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 1: keep a conversation going with a girl. You say that

679
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: to a girl, I'm telling you, they'll lean in, lean in,

680
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: They're like, Okay, this guy, he's not he's not playing around.

681
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: He knows who he is and he's vulnerable. Yeah, and

682
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: that's important to a woman. It's a girl in the

683
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: right place at the right time, who's going to go.

684
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it. I'll keep the conversation going. You

685
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: don't have to say anything. Yeah, I would agree, that's yeah,

686
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: you're Sometimes sometimes I read these emails and I think, man,

687
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 1: are we putting out too much on social media about

688
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: how you're supposed to be? Oh? I think for sure.

689
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: I think there's this image that we portray as both

690
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: men and women. We know this on who were You know,

691
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: what does the ALFML look like? What is the image

692
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 1: that he's supposed to be? How's he supposed to act,

693
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: how's he supposed to talk? What he's supposed to look like?

694
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: And you know, and any mature woman would tell you that,

695
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: you know, those looks fate and they're not what's important.

696
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: At the end of the day. It's not about how

697
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: you look, how you talk, how you walk. It's about

698
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: who you are, so right, it's about who you are

699
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: as a person. And uh, and I would take this

700
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: second to last paragraph you're talking about. You say, I

701
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: know the whole in God's time and leaving God's hands.

702
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: I would build it. I build this into your prayer.

703
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: And I would say, thought as if almost if David was,

704
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: you know, writing a song, and I would say, God,

705
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: where are you? Because I know I'm supposed to leave

706
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: it in your hands? And that's what I'm doing. But

707
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: I don't hear anything. And I know you tell me

708
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: that man's not so he's supposed to be alone, But

709
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,400
Speaker 1: here I am. I'm alone. I'm alone. Yeah, will you

710
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: help me understand this? Make that into your prayer? What's

711
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: the value in my loneless like? Because it was God?

712
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 1: What do you teaching? That's what you want? Are you showing?

713
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: Where's the value in this pain? If you will this loneliness?

714
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: That what Christ is saying is the next level of

715
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: maturity And a prayer is when the first level is God,

716
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: why am I alone? And the second level is God,

717
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: I'm alone? What do you need me to learn from this? Yeah?

718
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: So good, great question, buddy, And uh, Yeah, our hearts

719
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: go out to you. I think you're you're you're saying

720
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 1: and doing all the right things. And when I see

721
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: you next time in a meet and greet at a

722
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: show in Michigan, I want you to come hug my

723
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: neck and say, Hey, I'm the guy. I'm the anonymous guy. Yeah, yeah,

724
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: I am the guy. Let's do a Let's lighten it

725
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: a little bit and do this one. It says hunting. Hey,

726
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 1: I'm Braiden from Arkansas. I want to know what your

727
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: favorite big game to hunt, and Braiden, I I have

728
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: ever done any crazy, serious big game Alaska Montana hunt.

729
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:12,439
Speaker 1: I've dreamed about going on an l hunt touring. Usually

730
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: at work usually holds me out of that. So I

731
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: have shot a mule deer in Mexico, which is the

732
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: biggest game hunt I've ever done, and then a lot

733
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: of white tail and I would love to continue that,

734
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: you know, and explore other options. But man, I just

735
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: I love white tail deer. That's where I grew up

736
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: and with my dad and my brothers. So I have

737
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: such a such fond memories of being in the outdoors

738
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:46,439
Speaker 1: and being in nature and regardless of what we got.

739
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: So how about you Christian. Yeah, I'm just not that.

740
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: My dad wasn't a hunter, so I mean, I'm sure

741
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: I grew up hunting white tail deer and all that

742
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 1: in Alabama, but not a big game. Never been on

743
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: a big game trip. Would love to go. Takes a

744
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: lot of yeah, yeah, and it's usually a lot of travel,

745
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: a lot of travel, a lot of time off work. Yeah,

746
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 1: I'd love to go. There's not a particular game that

747
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: I'm just if if you just asked me right now,

748
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: what would that kill? What would you want that kill

749
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 1: to be? I don't I don't have I mean, you know,

750
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 1: you always think about going to Safari, you know, going

751
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 1: to Africa and hunting whatever all things over there. But yeah,

752
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: I wish I could give you a better answer to that.

753
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 1: The one thing if you could say, all right, money

754
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, time doesn't matter. There's the doll sheep in

755
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: the Northwest Territory of Canada, and to get there you

756
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: have to be flown in, dropped off. It's like a

757
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: nine day hunt. It's like you and one or two

758
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: other guys, ye, and you walk for miles and miles

759
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 1: through this just incredible northern territory and the odds of

760
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: getting a sheep or like one in fifty you might

761
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: go for nine days. More than likely you'll go for

762
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 1: nine days and not get anything, but just being in

763
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: those elements. And I have a buddy that did this,

764
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: and he just told stories of what it does to

765
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 1: you in terms of your gratefulness for a chair or

766
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: a candy bar, or spaghetti dinner, or a nice sleep

767
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 1: without rain and cold. It's just it's it's truly tribal

768
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: for a man to go into a territory with no

769
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: cell phone service and no amenities and no immediate food source.

770
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: I would agree. So usually once or twice a year,

771
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: my dad and my brothers we get together and we'll

772
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 1: meet up somewhere and we'll spend four or five days backpacking,

773
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: just trekking, no cell service. Where do you guys go?

774
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 1: Most recently we went to North Georgia, to the southern

775
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 1: tip of the Appalachian Mountains. So what time of year

776
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: do you do? In the fall? In the fall, we

777
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: were too hot, or we always go in the fall.

778
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, we were just talking last night.

779
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: I was on the phone with my dad and we

780
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 1: were trying to figure out where's that week going to be?

781
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: This fall. We're all busy and traveling. But but yeah,

782
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: but to your point though of just being away, no

783
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: seale service, the disconnect and just it's very majestic. Yeah,

784
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 1: but imagine the one and fifty chance, Like, what a

785
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: small percentage if you do get that game, What a

786
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: small percentage you are on the planet that's had that opportunity.

787
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 1: What a cool opportunity. Yeah, there's probably a short list

788
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 1: of the men that have ever been able to kill

789
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 1: that yeah game, you know, Yeah, and you could see it,

790
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: you know, you see it in your binoculars. And then

791
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: you'll start a journey after this this one ram and

792
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: he's always putting the same distance away from you as

793
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: you're putting towards him, and you could spend days going

794
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: after one he'll talk to the next, and then you

795
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: can just you realize, it's day eight. I got to

796
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: get back to the plane. I'm not going to get

797
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: to him. That's it. Yeah, wow, Yeah, thanks for the question, Brandon.

798
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: Let's go back to you. Christian family dilimma relationship advice.

799
00:43:55,440 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: Help help help us, says here says, good morning. I

800
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 1: don't know who else I talk to, it says March

801
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty, I left work for doctor's orders to

802
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: health reasons and COVID. After thirty three years, they let

803
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: me go May first. I was blindsided. They made it

804
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: so I can't claim unemployment. I prayed for God to

805
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: point me in the right direction, asked him to show

806
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 1: him show me the next job. In July, my buddy's

807
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: wife passed away and she ran his contractor business. I

808
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: went in two weeks later and started helping him until

809
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: I found a job he liked how I took over

810
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 1: and got the bills paid, closing his wife's business and

811
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: handling all the things with her death. He told his

812
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: accountant that he wanted me on his payroll. That was August.

813
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: Since then, he has paid me three times. I need

814
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: to tell him I need regular pay, but I don't

815
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: know how to approach it. I've asked him a couple times,

816
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 1: but I don't know if he's forgotten or what I

817
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:59,439
Speaker 1: was making really good money a year down and God

818
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 1: bless my wife, or understanding. But I need to figure

819
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,720
Speaker 1: out how to talk to him about this. Any advice.

820
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 1: I love listening to you on your podcast. God bless

821
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: you and your family. What a tough corbo you gotta have,

822
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: But I think it's a pretty straightforward conversation when you're

823
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: granger like, it's not personal. It's just this kind of

824
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: goes you know, the woman that that was smoking cigarettes

825
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 1: and the daughter in law needs to talk, and it

826
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: goes back to there's only six or seven answers to

827
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: thousands of questions, and you know, you know you were

828
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: put you were put in this situation. You were you

829
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 1: were a blessing to their family. So I think if

830
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 1: you're having hesitations of bringing it up because of the

831
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: death of his wife, you also have to see that

832
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: you've been a blessing to their family, and there should

833
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: be no reason why he shouldn't be putting you on

834
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: this payroll, especially if you want the job. Maybe and

835
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: then this all comes down to communication. Maybe he doesn't

836
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: know if you were just helping or you actually do

837
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: what's right, want the job. That's I'd just sit him

838
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 1: down and say I would set out a time where

839
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: you say, hey, man, quick, crap lunch on Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

840
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: And I think a good way to start that conversation

841
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: is going into the conversation let him know what this

842
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: is not. This conversation is not personal. This conversation is

843
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: not me being ungrateful for the opportunity you've already given me.

844
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: This conversation is literally just about me providing for my family.

845
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: And so we had, you know, and you bring up

846
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 1: the fact we had a conversation about me coming on

847
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: your payroll. I just need a straightforward answer. Is that

848
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: something that's going to happen in the near future? And

849
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: if not, I've got to find someone's going to provide

850
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: for my family. If I was listening to this podcast

851
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 1: and and I wrote this email and it says good morning,

852
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 1: I don't know who else to talk to, that's how

853
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 1: he starts it, I would pause this podcast right now

854
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 1: and I'd go back to what Christian just said about

855
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: how to start the conversation, to what this conversation is not.

856
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 1: I think that is so wise. I would literally write

857
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 1: that down what you said. Yeah, I think too often

858
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: grainer in conversations, and you can it can be a

859
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 1: conversation with your spouse, with a family member, with a coworker.

860
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: We're all we don't communicate well, we were misunderstood, and

861
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,439
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we think we make things turn into

862
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 1: a big deal that didn't need to be a big deal.

863
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: I think I struggle sometimes with my communication to certain individuals,

864
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,839
Speaker 1: so I'm always want to be clear and direct. Hey,

865
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: this is not what I'm saying, although I don't know

866
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 1: how to fully articulate it, because my feelings are involved,

867
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: because his feelings are involved in he probably feels taken

868
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: advantage of, he feels overlooked. And so to tell you

869
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: that your feelings aren't involved there, they're involved, They're fully there,

870
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 1: they're they're there. So what I know that I'm going

871
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 1: into a conversation that is my feelings are involved, or

872
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: I've been hurt, or I'm hurting, or I'm just emotional.

873
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: Like I'm very clear on the front end, like, hey, look,

874
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: this is not what I'm trying to say, although it

875
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: may creep in there a little bit, but it's not

876
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 1: my heart, you know. Yeah, I think I think there

877
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: is there's nothing wrong with just being totally open in

878
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,399
Speaker 1: a conversation. And here we go again with this being

879
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: vulnerable thing, just just being vulnerable and just saying I'll

880
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: be honest with you. I've struggled with setting up this

881
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: conversation because I'm I'm worried that you might get the

882
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,719
Speaker 1: wrong impression. Worried that I might say the wrong thing,

883
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: because the truth is, Buddy, I love you and your wife,

884
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: and I hurt for you that you lost her, and

885
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 1: I want to help with the business, but I also

886
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 1: have my own family and I need this paycheck, and

887
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: I need you to tell me if this is something

888
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,280
Speaker 1: long term or if I need to go somewhere else.

889
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: And I don't want I don't want you to take

890
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: it the wrong way. Yeah, and this is this is

891
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: like one lunch and it takes thirty minutes. You could

892
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: have all of this ease your mind. You don't have

893
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: to email the podcast and say I don't know else

894
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 1: to talk to, you know, to have communication guys. Yeah, yeah,

895
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:10,959
Speaker 1: let's see you pick one. You want me to pick one, Okay,

896
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 1: I'm going to go with a podcast question like the

897
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: generic one. Yeah you know says Hello. My name is William.

898
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm from Plano, Texas. I'm seventeen going on eighteen, and

899
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: I want to tell you how much of a blessing

900
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 1: you are to me and my family. I love your music,

901
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: I love Yeee apparel. I'm going to become a United

902
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: States Marine when I graduate from high school. And I

903
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: can't wait to be a husband and a father someday.

904
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: Here's my question, what's the best part of about being

905
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: a father and what's the best advice you could give

906
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: about fatherhood and husbandhood as a Christian? Love and christ

907
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: William the best part about being a father. I think

908
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: before we even start, we have to say this question

909
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: is coming a little early for him. It is coming

910
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: earl of the What are what like a seventeen year old?

911
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,280
Speaker 1: Are you thinking about that? What a solid guy? Yeah? Yeah,

912
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, He's about to serve our country. Man. I'm

913
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 1: so I'm so proud, so proud for you. You're becoming

914
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,879
Speaker 1: a marine. You've got a lot going on. Your head

915
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: is just on straight, asking great questions, ending it with

916
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 1: love and christ and you're you're excited about being a

917
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: husband and a father. So with all that, I would say,

918
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: at the same time, let's go back to what Christian

919
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: I were saying to a lot earlier and just kind

920
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: of lower expectations automatically on what that could mean for you,

921
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: because you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. No,

922
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:57,800
Speaker 1: you don't know. You may get married in five years

923
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: and have a baby, or you might not. As you

924
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: if you've listened to this podcast, so far. You know

925
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: that there's people that have gone a long time without

926
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 1: any of that. And but what you do have right

927
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 1: now is this, this path to the Marine Corps, and

928
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: this is going to take you on an incredible journey,

929
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:20,839
Speaker 1: maybe even around the world. And and so although I'm

930
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 1: definitely gonna answer your question, I don't want you to

931
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 1: worry about this. I would agree. But but the best

932
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: part about being a father is it's a it's a

933
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 1: that's a broad question. But the fact that you're you're

934
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 1: leaving this world one day with an imprint of you,

935
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: this is just profound. Is for me, It's it's what

936
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm entrusted with. Yes, for me, it's like I'm entrusted

937
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: to steward three lives. Yes, to teach them, direct them,

938
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:06,320
Speaker 1: coach them, bother them, parent them, love on them, discipline them.

939
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 1: That's the best part of it. Yeah, there you're molding

940
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: a clay, Like you said, Yeah, there's so much fulfillment,

941
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 1: life fulfillment in that. And that when you go through

942
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: life and you're treading through and you you make mistakes

943
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: and then you do things that are good and you

944
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 1: you store those thoughts away in your mind and you

945
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: go man I'm messed up, and I want to make

946
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 1: sure that how do I how do I instill this

947
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 1: in my kids that that this is this wasn't a

948
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: good decision that I made or man, I really got

949
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: I got so much out of this. How do I

950
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:43,919
Speaker 1: instill in my kids that this is important for them too?

951
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: And then most importantly above all that is Christians. You know,

952
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 1: there's Christians. The Bible talks a lot about being parents

953
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: and being fathers, and and our job is to steward

954
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:02,720
Speaker 1: them towards Christ, to lead them to Jesus, because because

955
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: we're called to minister to the world, but it starts

956
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 1: in our own homes and it starts with our kids.

957
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: And and so what a what an epic responsibility? Uh

958
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:20,880
Speaker 1: that is? And that is something that you have to

959
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 1: look forward to, William, And let me let me go

960
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: here now. But I'll say a big giant butt and

961
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: everything we've just said this is going to start with

962
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: with your future wife. And she is going to be

963
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: a partner in this, and she's going to either make

964
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 1: this very difficult for you or very comforting and easier

965
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: for you. So so put your focus on her first.

966
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: That's the most important decision. Yeah, put your focus on

967
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 1: her first, outside of outside of choosing to follow Christ.

968
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: That is the second most important decision you'll ever make

969
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 1: in your life, and then it will impact you. I

970
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: mean has a tremendous empoct obviously, Yeah yeah, but uh

971
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: man congure outs on anything Buddy and raw Marine Corps.

972
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: Let's let's grab one more Christian. We have one time

973
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 1: for one more if you do, if you're cool, good,

974
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 1: you want to hit this family dilemma. These kids to

975
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: keep saying it. It's right at the top of the

976
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 1: email chain now says hey, Grade your longtime listener and fan.

977
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: I currently live in South Austin, Man. That's number two

978
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 1: for us today on this podcast in Austin eight. But

979
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: we actually met a few years ago when you did

980
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: an appearance on CBS Sports to promote a new album

981
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,399
Speaker 1: in Earl's diplom and pick them my dilemma. I've been

982
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: married to my husband for four years now. We have

983
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: a two year old daughter. We're wanting to start our

984
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,919
Speaker 1: own family traditions and to do things on our own,

985
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: just the three of us. But my mom is having

986
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 1: a hard time with the idea that this includes doing

987
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: our own thing for the holidays. My husband has had

988
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: a dream ever since he was little to take his

989
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: future wife and kids skiing on a trip for Christmas.

990
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 1: I side with my husband and he is now my priority.

991
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: But my question is how do I effectively communicate this

992
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: with my mom so that she isn't always so upset

993
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 1: by this. We have already tried to compromise and do

994
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 1: Christmas with her at a different time, but she would

995
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 1: rather us mix the trips or push them back to

996
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 1: match her schedule. We don't have a big family, and

997
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: big family Christmases have never been really a part of

998
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,880
Speaker 1: our family, but the past two years she's been trying

999
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: to make them a thing. I appreciate you and your help. Yeah,

1000
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: we have a theme, we do. We have a theme.

1001
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 1: We have a communication theme. Yeah, you know. I think

1002
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 1: you run into that. You see this a lot in

1003
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 1: a lot of family dynamics, don't you grangeur? You see

1004
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 1: how you have in laws or or a mom in

1005
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: this case is not even an in law, it's her

1006
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: own mother. I think I think too often within our

1007
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: family dynamic, like we give mother in laws or even

1008
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: parents a little too much weight into like how we're

1009
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,839
Speaker 1: going to do say we're gonna do holidays and things

1010
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: like that, Like, because I have friends that they have

1011
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: the same dilemma, and I'm thinking to myself, but it's

1012
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 1: your You're responsible for your immediate family, and what you

1013
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: choose to do with your immediate family is not a

1014
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,400
Speaker 1: reflection of that. You don't want to be with your

1015
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 1: in laws or you don't want to be with your

1016
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: mother and dad, but it is your responsibility to create

1017
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 1: those traditions with them. Absolutely, And so I think it's

1018
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: a direct it's just a conversation. Yeah, I totally agree

1019
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 1: you you did she say your name? She didn't, so

1020
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 1: I won't say it. But she she's saying all the

1021
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 1: right things and just needing affirmation from us that she

1022
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,799
Speaker 1: is doing the right thing. And this is a this

1023
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 1: is a conversation that might not be easy. These none

1024
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: of these in this podcast, so they will be easy.

1025
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: Don't don't expect them to Just the person that you're

1026
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:50,919
Speaker 1: talking to you to go cool, No problem, that's right.

1027
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: But here we go again. This is the sixth answers

1028
00:56:56,000 --> 00:57:01,879
Speaker 1: to two thousand questions. Be vulnerable, be honest, be forthcoming,

1029
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: and everything. Like Christen said, tell her the things that

1030
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: this conversation is not. This is not about our lack

1031
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: of love for you, mom. This isn't not wanting to

1032
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 1: be with you for the holidays, This isn't disrespecting your traditions.

1033
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 1: But what this is is establishing our core family. We're

1034
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 1: still a young you guys are You have a young family,

1035
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: a two year old daughter. That's it. And so this

1036
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 1: is establishing some some really important memories as a family.

1037
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 1: And it's also fulfilling your husband's dream that he wanted

1038
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 1: to do since he was a little kid. You don't

1039
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: want to take that away from him, something he's always

1040
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: to do. You didn't say this, and I don't want

1041
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 1: to step over the line here, but asking the mother

1042
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 1: to come on the ski trip could be a nice

1043
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 1: little babysitter. If you guys want to go out and

1044
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: get a dinner one of those nights and whever your

1045
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: ski town is, you have a little date night. Because

1046
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: mom's going to be with the with the two years,

1047
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 1: that sounds like a pretty good deal. She might not

1048
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 1: go for it, You might not even want it. But

1049
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: I'm throwing it out there, but this is this is

1050
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: really cut and dry. The decision is easy, the conversation

1051
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 1: is hard. That's right, And I think to the point

1052
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: when I said, don't give her too much weight, like

1053
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 1: have be okay that she may not be okay with

1054
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,919
Speaker 1: the decision, like don't don't allow it to don't allow

1055
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 1: it to weigh you down that much, because really you're

1056
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 1: responsible for yourself, perfect man, And it's really it's on

1057
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: her on how she wants to respond to this. So

1058
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: if you do it lovingly, do it care like, do

1059
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: it honoring she's your mother, you would you want to

1060
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: honor her in the process. But at the end of

1061
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 1: the day, it's about you and your husband and creating

1062
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 1: your traditions. That's right. So what you're what Christian is

1063
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: saying is that this is not a this is not

1064
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 1: a vote, this isn't not a democracy with her. This

1065
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: is you're going to be telling her in a very

1066
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 1: empathetic way what you're going to be doing. Yeah, awesome question,

1067
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: And thank you Christian for tackling these you're interested in

1068
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 1: this episode one hundred sounds like fun. It's so good.

1069
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and we're gonna we gotta get you back

1070
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: for for other ones. I appreciate you driving over here

1071
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 1: and being part of this and you make this podcast better.

1072
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: Budy appreciate you due. Thank you guys, thank you thanks

1073
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate

1074
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 1: all of you. Guys. You could help me out by

1075
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

1076
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification

1077
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.

1078
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would

1079
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

1080
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: Yie