1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,719 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: please please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. That's Steve HARVEYFM dot com 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 6 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Marco lap hold 8 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you. Here it is 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: row every letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject is my husband 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: openly cheating on me? Excuse me? Just Stephen Shirley. I've 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: been married for fifteen years and my husband is an 12 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: associate pastor. He has office hours at the church and 13 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: the church secretary is there from nine to five pm. 14 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: I started working part time because I wanted to buy 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: new furniture. I work in an artsy area of town 16 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: at a craft store and there are several restaurants in 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,639 Speaker 1: the area. On two separate occasions, my husband called me 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: and he called to say that he'd be in the 19 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: area having lunch with some people from church. Both times 20 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: I found the receipts and only two people had lunch 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: and alcohol. I never said anything to him. Then our 22 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: church sponsored or community fundraiser for students headed to college. 23 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,679 Speaker 1: I couldn't go because I had to work. My husband 24 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: said he was going with the church secretary so she 25 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: wouldn't be out alone at night. After that, I began 26 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: to watch his actions more closely. I noticed that he 27 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: started checking his cell phone more often and would smile 28 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: when he read his messages. All of a sudden, he 29 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: slept with his phone with his phone off at night 30 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: and on the dresser instead of on his nightstand. Last week, 31 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: I did something crazy when my husband called to tell 32 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: me he was in my area for lunch. I left 33 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: work and rode around until I found his car. He 34 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: was at a Mexican restaurant, and I walked in and 35 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: found him sitting with the church secretary. She told him, 36 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: I'll handle this. She told me that I should be 37 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: ashamed for being so insecure that I would walk on 38 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: walk up on them, as though I didn't trust my husband. 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: She was so good that she almost made me believe her. 40 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 1: My husband denied doing anything wrong, and now he's very 41 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: upset with me. I don't have any proof of an affair, 42 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: so should I let it go or keep an eye 43 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: on them. I gotta tell you this. You gotta trust 44 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 1: your instincts. You have to trust your instincts. Girl, you 45 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: have a feeling what's going on. You saw the receipts 46 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: for yourself. First, he lied and told you he would 47 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: be lunching with a group of people. Then you found 48 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: out it was only two people, him and her, the 49 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 1: church secretary. Then he said he was going to the 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: church fundraiser when you couldn't go because you had to work. 51 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: He said he was going to the church fundraiser with 52 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,679 Speaker 1: the secretary so she wouldn't be out alone at night. 53 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: So when is it his responsibility to take care of her? 54 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: You're his wife. Now he's monitoring his phone and you know, 55 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: doing all of that sort of thing, sleeping with it 56 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: at night. It used to be on the nightstand. Now 57 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: he's turning into all these or suspicious actions by your husband. 58 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:22,119 Speaker 1: His behavior has changed. Then you go and catch them 59 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: at lunch together, and then she gets up in your face, 60 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: his wife, and he let her all very strange happenings. 61 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: This should never happen. That's your husband. He should have 62 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: been the one saying, let me handle this, and he 63 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: should have checked her for doing that. What more proof 64 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: do you need? That's what I'm asking you. What more 65 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: proof do you need? You know what's going on here? 66 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: They're doing something, They're lunching together. He's making sure she 67 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: gets home. I mean, you know, it's beyond being a gentleman. 68 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: It's beyond that. At this point, she tried to trick 69 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: you and knock you off your game, you know, telling 70 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: you when she got in your face saying you didn't 71 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: trust your husband and all that, and then you came 72 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: to your senses and didn't fall forward. Your husband is 73 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: out of order. You have the proof, and the question 74 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: to you is what are you going to do about it? Steve? 75 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: It's my husband openly cheating on me. I'm gonna read 76 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: this letter, and I'm telling you, as I'm reading this letter, 77 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: I'm going to lie to you for the entire reading. 78 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm gonna love this right because I 79 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: love your life. Yeah, I'm gonna lie to you. I 80 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: want you to. I'm gonna dissect this letter as the 81 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: lie that you've been here. Come on, lie detector. I 82 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: love dear Steven Sherley. My wife and I been married 83 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: fifteen years. Just a dude now, and I'm an associate pastor. 84 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 1: So right there, Steve, I mean I ought to get 85 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 1: some points for that. I am the associate pastor. I 86 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: worked hard for the Lord, and I got a church secretary. 87 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: Now you know how church secretaries looked though, And she 88 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: there from nine eight to nine five pm. Them them 89 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: regular hours. Everybody got them my hours right there, So 90 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: what's wrong? And then my wife she wanted she won't everything, 91 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: you know, want some damn furniture and all that. So 92 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: she gonna start working hard times, you know, embarrassing me 93 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: as a man, like my efforts as a man ain't 94 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: strong enough for And you know I work downtown, you know, 95 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: in this artsy area town, and you know, you know, 96 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: I'm handling my business over there by the church and 97 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: there's a lot of restaurants in the area. And on 98 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: two different occasions, just two now one two see one 99 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: two one and two, I called my wife and I 100 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: told her I was gonna be in the area that 101 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: she worked at. Who do that? If they're messing around, 102 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: tell their wife where they're gonna be. H. I told her, 103 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in the air and I'm having lunch 104 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: with some people. Guess where church people? Because I ain't 105 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: got no time to stray outside the flock. I am 106 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: the associate past and then she gonna go through my 107 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: stuff and find some receipts and come come out. It 108 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 1: was only two people, you had luck, I said, people, 109 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: two way people? All right, hold that, mister, pass me 110 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: out of said I, I said, people. We're gonna have 111 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: part two of Jerry's Steve coming up at twenty three 112 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letters, subject is my 113 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: husband openly cheating on me? We'll get part two of 114 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up right after this. You're listening Steve 115 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter? 116 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: Is my husband openly cheating on me? So, as I 117 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: said earlier, I've decided to read this letter as the man. 118 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 1: We're lying then tire letters, so I want you to 119 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: break you down, you know, So I read it instead 120 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: of the lady writing a letter. I'm responding to the 121 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: letter as I'm reading it as a man. You know, 122 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: I've been managing this woman fifteen long years, and I'm 123 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: an associate pastor right there. All to get some points 124 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: for that, right, Steve. You know, I worked down at 125 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: the church hard, and I got a sect church secretary. 126 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: You know what secretary looked like at the church. Well, 127 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: I got to sit around her from nine to five 128 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: all damn day. So then my wife won't everything, you know, 129 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: she ain't happen with me as a man and what 130 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: I'm making. So she's gonna go get a part time 131 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: job because she wants some new damn furniture. We're sitting 132 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: around the church all the time. What we need new 133 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: furniture for me? And then my work. My wife worked 134 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: down in an artsy part of town, right, you know, 135 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: and this craft stole, and it's a lot of nice 136 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: restaurants down there that I like to go to. So 137 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: on two separate occasions, count of Steve one two both times. 138 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: But I'm going down now, And I told her. I 139 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: called her myself. I say, hey, baby, I'm gonna be 140 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: having lunch in the area, just to let you know. 141 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be having some some lunch. Who do 142 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: that if they're cheating? And then I told her I 143 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: was gonna have some some lunch with some people to 144 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 1: church people, because that's all I'm around, right Yeah, And 145 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: then she gonna find the receipts and then tripping talking 146 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: about only two people. Was at lunch. I sad people 147 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: two is two? Ain't a person? So sid past and 148 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: trying to help save souls and I'm down here trying 149 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 1: to save some souls. And she looking at receipts. Come 150 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: up here were two people. And then in our church, 151 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: you know, they had a community fundraiser for students that 152 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: was going to college. You know, I love the kids, 153 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 1: you know, and I couldn't. She couldn't go because she 154 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: hadn't work at the card times trying to get some 155 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: more damn furniture. Greed, greed. Okay, okay, okay. So then 156 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: I told my wife. I told her I'm gonna go 157 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: to the fundraiser with the church secretary so she ain't 158 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: got to be out alone at night. The Lord told me, 159 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: these things that you do until the least of these, 160 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: so have you done unto me? So now I'm trying 161 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: to make sure your sister get home safe, so don't 162 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: nothing happen too. And then after that, she gonna start 163 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: checking on me clothes, like she got something on me. 164 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: I told her at night at night all the time, 165 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 1: and people commits suicide that night. I gotta answer the phone, 166 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: and then she come tripping talking about I read some 167 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: Texas smiling. Everybody ain't trying to kill themselves. Some people 168 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: call it saying head pastor what's something man? And I 169 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: just smiled, you know. Then oh, she come turning out. 170 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: I sleep with my phone on the night stand and 171 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: not on the dressing because I don't want it to 172 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: go off and disturb her the dresser, so it be 173 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: far away because she needs sleep, you know. And then 174 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: and then last week she did something crazy. I called 175 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: her again, tell how I was going to the air 176 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: for Look, who dude that if they're cheating, then she 177 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: gonna leave her jaw ride down. See my call. I'm 178 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 1: in a Mexican restaurant. That's another thing. Who cheating the 179 00:10:55,280 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: Mexican restaurant. That's a lot of places to cheating. Who'll 180 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: do that? That's good with it? Why would I cheat 181 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,959 Speaker 1: down there all that. You don't go to the Mexican 182 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: restaurant to cheat the food through damn good cheat that 183 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: you cheat that fat food. You don't cheat that restaurant. 184 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: So now I'm down at the restaurant. She walked in 185 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: and then gonna come. I'm sitting there with the church 186 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: secretary the people. I told her I was going to 187 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: dinner with people, and I'm sitting there with the people. 188 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: Guess what. She worked at the church. Still, you know 189 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 1: how the church secretary you. And then my secretary said, 190 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,080 Speaker 1: hold on, I handle this. I said, man, who thank 191 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: you Lord, because you know I didn't want to make 192 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: no scene, because you know I'm associate pastor. So then 193 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: she told the wife, you know, as she should. You 194 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: ought to be shame of yourself should this man downhill 195 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: saving soul and for you to be so insecure and 196 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 1: walk up as though you don't trust him. He's a 197 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:09,319 Speaker 1: man of God. And then I and the girl was talking. 198 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: It was good because I damnly believe it myself. I 199 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: never she made me believe. Speak for me speak. And 200 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 1: then so I told her I denied doing any wrong. 201 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,679 Speaker 1: And now my wife up set with me. She ain't 202 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,719 Speaker 1: got no proof of no afair. The secretary told her 203 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: she ought to be shaped. She handled it. Yeah, So 204 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 1: now my wife want to know she ought to keep 205 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: her eye on me when I'm out here in playing 206 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: sight at Mexican restaurants talking to my secretary about the business, 207 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: and she want to keep her eye on me. For 208 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: what your comment und today Strawberry Letter, thank you Steve 209 00:12:55,679 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 1: at Fine People, indeed Jesus too. Yeah, Steve, we have 210 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: him on Instagram and he didn't know her. She needed 211 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: to just sit with somebody who want to eat and 212 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: don't forget to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on 213 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: demand now coming up in forty six minutes after the hour, 214 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,719 Speaker 1: our girl from the Talk, Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, 215 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: you're listening to The Dave Harvey Morning Show