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Speaker 1: Mmmmmm. Hello everyone, it's your girl cheek ees, and you've

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Speaker 1: reached the voicemail box board. Dear cheekies, I'm here to

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Speaker 1: give you advice on anything and everything you need help with.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're going through a break up, maybe you're having

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Speaker 1: issues with your family, or maybe you need help figuring

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Speaker 1: out how to balance your checkbook or how to start

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Speaker 1: a business. Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're

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Speaker 1: suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help

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Speaker 1: from a qualified professional. All right, Now go ahead and

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Speaker 1: leave your question at the sound of the babe now

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Speaker 1: high cheek ease. I'm from San Antonio, and before I

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Speaker 1: ask my question, I'd just like to say thank you

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Speaker 1: for everything that you help me overcome from reading your

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Speaker 1: books and your podcast. It always helped me see things

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Speaker 1: in a different line and get over things that at

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Speaker 1: times troubled my mind. My question is being the oldest,

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Speaker 1: because I'm also the oldest, was it difficult seeing your

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Speaker 1: siblings being able to grow up differently than you, meaning

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Speaker 1: like you had to be the second mom. As you said,

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Speaker 1: you got treated differently. As that's how I see it.

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Speaker 1: Did I ever affect you in any way because at

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Speaker 1: times for me, I not necessarily got jealous, but I

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Speaker 1: would say that my siblings were quote unquote lucky that

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Speaker 1: they didn't have to deal with certain things that I

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Speaker 1: had to deal with growing up. So that's my question

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Speaker 1: to you. Thank you, oh sand Draw, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for your question, and thank you for those beautiful

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Speaker 1: things you said. You guys make me so happy, like so,

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Speaker 1: I'm just want to have you. I'm having like a

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Speaker 1: weird day like you guys, just hearing your voices just

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Speaker 1: make me. I don't it just makes me happy anyway, Sandra, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be real with you, girl. Yes, it is

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Speaker 1: not easy. And I talked about this so many times.

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Speaker 1: Being the eldest is not easy. I used to question

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Speaker 1: my mom. I used to question God. I felt like

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Speaker 1: I had so much responsibility since I was little, and

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Speaker 1: my mom would always say, I don't know, talk to God,

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Speaker 1: asked him why you're the oldest, but he made you

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Speaker 1: the oldest. Now after all of that, I understand why.

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Speaker 1: But it did affect me. There were times when I

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Speaker 1: did resent my sister Jackie, especially my sister Jackie, because

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Speaker 1: I saw how different my mom raised her. And I

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Speaker 1: wasn't allowed to shave my legs until I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, fifteen, and Jackie got to do it

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Speaker 1: when she was twelve, and she got to pluck her

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Speaker 1: eyebrows early. Like, everything was just so different, and it

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Speaker 1: did cause some tension between Jackie and I. Mind you,

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Speaker 1: I love my sister, but I feel like my mom

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Speaker 1: since we're the eldest, you know, someone, they're harder on

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Speaker 1: us because they didn't have a manual. That's when my

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Speaker 1: mom would always tell me, She's like, you didn't come

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Speaker 1: with the manual. I don't know how to deal with it.

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Speaker 1: You're so different from what I was because I was.

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Speaker 1: I was very different from my mom at every age,

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Speaker 1: I think so. I think it's just it takes us

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Speaker 1: some time to understand that as the older ones that

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Speaker 1: like the eldest, we are the ones that put our

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Speaker 1: parents through everything first. So for everyone else's just gets

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Speaker 1: easier and easier and easier, and they get to get

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Speaker 1: away with a lot more than we did. But yes,

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Speaker 1: to answer your question, I did feel sometimes jealous. I

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Speaker 1: did feel a little bit resentful towards my sister and

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Speaker 1: my mom, And thank goodness, all of that has gone

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Speaker 1: away now that I've gotten older, and I appreciate the

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Speaker 1: fact that I'm the oldest and everything that I am

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Speaker 1: today because how my mom was with me. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I get you, I feel you, Sandra. All

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Speaker 1: those things are normal. Just don't let them consume you.

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Speaker 1: And pray every single day and meditate. Meditation has helped me.

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Speaker 1: Like now that my mom is in here, it's a

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Speaker 1: little different because I feel like I have to protect

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Speaker 1: my siblings. It's just very different. I feel like now

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Speaker 1: that second mom, I have to be that second mom

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Speaker 1: and also balance being my sister. So it's tough, but

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Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing being the eldest. And yes we

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Speaker 1: get sometimes a shorter end of the stick, but at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, we don't. You'll see why. Again.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for those beautiful words, and I

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Speaker 1: hope that I was able to help. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: that was a good one. Our next question is from Maria. Hey, geeks,

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Speaker 1: this is your Greek and Italian boss me that loves

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Speaker 1: you very very much. I have a question and I

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Speaker 1: need your advice because I just don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: And it's business related, which I'm not really business savvy,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like maybe you could help me. So

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Speaker 1: I accepted a job offer for a position that I

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Speaker 1: interviewed for a few weeks ago, and I loved the interview,

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Speaker 1: feeling like I was underqualified based on what little experience

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Speaker 1: I had in the field. It was such a huge

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Speaker 1: p price that they offered it to me that I

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Speaker 1: accepted it on spot. And I did not negotiate the

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Speaker 1: salary because I wasn't sure if it was appropriate given

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Speaker 1: that I didn't have enough experience. But they're giving me

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Speaker 1: a chance, so I just accepted it. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I I didn't realize that maybe doing that then the process,

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Speaker 1: I would be under selling myself, which I already have

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Speaker 1: a hard time, you know, seeing my full potential and

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Speaker 1: believing myself. That's a whole other story. The problem is

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Speaker 1: I applied for another position at another company in a

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Speaker 1: totally different field, and you know, it was refer to

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Speaker 1: me by a friend and she said the pay is better.

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Speaker 1: My question is if they offer me the position, who

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Speaker 1: do I turn down? And how do I turn it down?

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Speaker 1: And what do I say? I just don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. Oh my goodness, Maria, Okay, look, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: give you the best advice possible, and I hope that

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Speaker 1: it helps. Every time I find myself in a pickle,

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Speaker 1: you know, in a crossroads, like which way do I go?

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Speaker 1: I always just close my eyes and I ask, Okay,

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Speaker 1: where do I feel the most peace? That's going to

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Speaker 1: be a question that you have to ask yourself. In

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Speaker 1: my opinion, it's just honestly, you have to figure out

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Speaker 1: and see yourself, envision yourself. Where am I going to

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Speaker 1: be happier? Sometimes, yes, we all want to get paid more.

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Speaker 1: You know, money is important, absolutely, but sometimes what's more

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Speaker 1: important is am I gonna be happy? That's priceless? Am

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Speaker 1: I going to have peace? Is this the position I

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Speaker 1: really want and that I'm looking for? And they gave

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Speaker 1: you the opportunity, Like you said, you know you were underqualified,

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Speaker 1: but obviously they like something about you. So that says

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Speaker 1: a lot. So that book. Don't sell yourself short in

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Speaker 1: that way. Like they gave you the opportunity because you

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Speaker 1: earned it, because you deserve it. Now this other job

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Speaker 1: is gonna pay more, but that's where you Honestly, my

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Speaker 1: best advice is you only know inside of your heart

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Speaker 1: where am I going to have more peace because you

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Speaker 1: can go to the other job and get paid more.

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Speaker 1: But is that really what you want? You kind of

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Speaker 1: have to weigh it out in that way. It's a

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Speaker 1: little hard to tell because I don't know exactly what

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Speaker 1: the job's intel. But ask your heart, close your eyes

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Speaker 1: and say, Okay, where do I feel peace? If you're

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Speaker 1: tell me starts tightening up with one decision or the other,

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Speaker 1: then that's when you know, oh, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't have peace with that. When you feel like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I see myself there, I see myself growing, I see

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Speaker 1: myself leveling up in every way little by little because

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Speaker 1: in the other job, where they're probably not gonna pay

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Speaker 1: you as much, you can ask for a raise in

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Speaker 1: a little while once you prove yourself. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: That's the best advice I can honestly give you, Maria,

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be praying that you make the right decision.

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Speaker 1: I hope that helped, and I can't wait to hear

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Speaker 1: from you again. Let us know what you decided, alrighty.

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Speaker 1: So now our final question is from Elaine. Let's see

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Speaker 1: what she has to say. Hi, cheekies, I have a

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Speaker 1: question about friendship So I've been friends with this girl

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Speaker 1: for about fifteen years now. We've been funds since high school.

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Speaker 1: But two years ago we had a bit of falling

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Speaker 1: out over an issue and we kind of made up

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Speaker 1: and talked here and there, but our friendship wasn't like

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Speaker 1: it was used to be. So I wanted to ask you,

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Speaker 1: how do you know whether someone is worth keeping in

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Speaker 1: your life as a friend, Because friendship takes a lot

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Speaker 1: of effort on Sometimes you just want to get rid

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Speaker 1: of the talks with people. But how do you know

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Speaker 1: if someone is worth it? Mm hmm, okay, Elaine. Like

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Speaker 1: I told Maria, I'm all about what gives you peace

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Speaker 1: in your heart and in your mind. Now, I've had

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Speaker 1: those types of relationships myself, friendships, and it took me

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Speaker 1: a while to learn this. But even in relationships, like

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Speaker 1: loving relationships like a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever,

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Speaker 1: those people are there to teach you something. They are

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Speaker 1: teachers and masters of our life, you know, And so

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Speaker 1: are friendships. Sometimes some friends are not supposed to or

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Speaker 1: meant to. Should I say, move on to the next

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Speaker 1: phase of your life? Those are called seasons. Maybe that

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Speaker 1: friend was there for that season of your life, and

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Speaker 1: as My shis we want to hold on to certain

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Speaker 1: people because they were there when no one else was,

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Speaker 1: because they did something for us we don't want. And

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Speaker 1: I've talked about this on Chickens and Chill. Toxic loyalty

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Speaker 1: is holding on just because they were there. But if

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Speaker 1: you guys had that falling out and things did change,

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Speaker 1: don't force anything. I'm the type of person that says,

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Speaker 1: I can't force my foot in a shoe that's not

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Speaker 1: my size. It's going to create blisters, it's gonna create bunyans,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's hard also to say,

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Speaker 1: how do you know? But if you don't feel the

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Speaker 1: same way, if it's not that same excitement to hang

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Speaker 1: out with her, to be around her, you just don't

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Speaker 1: feel that vibe and that peace in your heart and

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Speaker 1: in your mind, then maybe that person is just not

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Speaker 1: meant to move on with you in the next phase,

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Speaker 1: in the next level of your life. It happens, it's

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Speaker 1: part of life, and some people stay forever. And then

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Speaker 1: people are just there for a little bit and you

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Speaker 1: learn from them and you grow and that's it, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know if that's the case, Elaine, with

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Speaker 1: with your friend, but you're asking for a reason, so

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Speaker 1: that there tells you that something's not sitting right. Something changed.

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Speaker 1: You guys probably outgrew each other, and that's okay that happens.

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Speaker 1: So I hope I answered your question all of you. Actually,

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Speaker 1: thank you Sandra, Maria, and Elaine for submitting questions to

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Speaker 1: this week's episode. We covered a range of topics today,

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Speaker 1: so I hope some of you found the episode helpful.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like me to answer your question, head over

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Speaker 1: to speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeks and Chill podcast

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Speaker 1: and leave yours. Really looking forward to hearing from you, guys,

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Speaker 1: I'll see you next week. This is a production of

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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow

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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michael Dura podcast and follow me Cheeks.

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Speaker 1: That's c h I q U I s. For more

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Speaker 1: podcasts from my heart, visit the I Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. H