1 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: Hey yo, welcome back to another episode of I Have 2 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Some Thoughts, our weekly mini sold series all about pop 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: culture topics, but of course from a mental health lens. 4 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: And I am joined today again by Elise hey ALEI. 5 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 2: Hey, I'm very excited for this one. I think we 6 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 2: have some pretty interesting topics and so, of course jay 7 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 2: Z is going to be a hot topic this summer. 8 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 2: And what makes him an even hotter topic is Blue Ivy. 9 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 3: She is the star. 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 2: This past weekend, he performed at Yankee Stadium to celebrate 11 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 2: the thirtieth anniversary of his debut album, Reasonable Doubt, and 12 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 2: the whole weekend featured several surprise guests, but most importantly, 13 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 2: Blue Ivy Carter joined her father on stage playing the 14 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 2: piano during his performance of Feeling It. 15 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 3: And I think people are. 16 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 2: Really excited because it spoke so much to his legacy, 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 2: see her talent and watching the next generation step into 18 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: their own while honoring the accomplishments of those who came 19 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 2: before them. And I've been thinking about what does it 20 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 2: mean to pass something meaningful from one generation to the other, 21 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 2: and how do you do that? And so my question 22 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 2: for you is when you grow up with such successful 23 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 2: parents or even strong family expectations. How can you embrace 24 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 2: that legacy without feeling defined by it or how many 25 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 2: people might feel trapped by it? 26 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that that is an important caveat right, 27 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: like do you feel defined by it? Trapped by it? 28 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: Like pressure to follow in the footsteps? I also say 29 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: this as somebody who was at the concert, Thank goodness 30 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: for the streamers. I was not at the concert, but 31 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: I was up on TikTok paying attention to the extra 32 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: ending concert last night. So thank y'all for going live 33 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: and letting us have the experience for. 34 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 3: Those of us who could not be there. 35 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: But I do think that one of the things that 36 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: I find most impressive in the way that we hear 37 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: jay Z and Beyonce talk about Blue Ivy and her 38 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: gifts is that it does feel very much led by 39 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: her right And when you have parents who are jay 40 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: Z and Beyonce right like no two bigger names, I 41 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: think that there can be some pressure to kind of like, oh, 42 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: what is going to be my artistic thing? And am 43 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: I good enough following these footsteps? And it really feels 44 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: like they have let her kind of follow the things 45 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: that have been most interesting to her, right we've seen 46 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: her make her debut as a part of the dance Squad. 47 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: Jay Z earlier this year talked about like her piano 48 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: skills and how he really feels like she's a great 49 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 1: piano player, but she doesn't really want to take any 50 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: formal lessons, right, and so I really feel like they 51 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 1: are letting her kind of carve out her own lane, 52 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: which I think is important, especially when she is growing 53 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: up in their shadow. And I think for the rest 54 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,399 Speaker 1: of us, like even for my own kids, I'm like, oh, 55 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: you guys should start a podcast, right, Like we could 56 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: do a kids podcast, but that's not something that they 57 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: are super interested in now. They are more interested in 58 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: it being like YouTubers and like doing book reviews, and 59 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: they really like watching other people play video games, which 60 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: I guess is a big thing for kids and media stuff. 61 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: But exposing them to the things I think is more 62 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: important than even forcing them to pursue any kind of path. 63 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: And I think that dad is really the key here 64 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: is like how many different things can we expose our 65 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: kids to splot their curiosity and their imagination. 66 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 2: I have another question about nepotism, and I'm curious how 67 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 2: we can think and how you think about nepotism for 68 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: the black community, especially someone like Bluiv who has genuinely 69 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 2: developed a talent and work ethic and risen to the 70 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: occasion to be able to play piano on stage with 71 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 2: her dad. But I think people have some sticky and 72 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 2: icky reactions and thoughts to nepotism, And so how can 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: we navigate passing a legacy on, passing our resources on, 74 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 2: in our gifts on, and maybe not feeling guilt about it? 75 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: You know? I find it interesting because I feel like 76 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: the conversation around nepotism only took a turn when Black 77 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: folks started being able to participate in nepotism. Right Like, Historically, 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: nepotism was not really something we could participate in because 79 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: there weren't as many resources, as as much wealth to 80 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: even pass on. And I think historically nepotism has been 81 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: about affording people opportunities when they actually weren't prepared for it. 82 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: Right I inherit my daddy's law firm, even though, like 83 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: I struggled in high school English. Right Like, that I 84 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: think is the uglier side of nepotism. But I don't 85 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: think that there's anything wrong with working hard and then 86 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: leaving something for your kids to walk into and giving 87 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: them opportunities, especially when they're prepared for it, right. And 88 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 1: I think that is something that black folks do, right. 89 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: It is that we know we often are teaching ourselves 90 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: and teaching our kids to work twice as hard, right. 91 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: And so I don't think that there are as many 92 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: kid cases of black kids walking into something from a 93 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: nepotism kind of standpoint and not being prepared right. And 94 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: I think we've seen that with Blue Lobby. She wasn't 95 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: able to get on the stage if she hadn't practiced 96 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: and like done all the things that she needed to 97 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: do to kind of participate in perform with the other dancers. 98 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: And so I think dephis is a miss totally okay 99 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: in my book, especially if the kids are actually prepared 100 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: for it. 101 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 2: So our next topic is the unfortunate passing of Nolan Wells. 102 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago in eighteen year old Nolan 103 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 2: Exavior Wells, a black teenager, disappeared after taking a fourth 104 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 2: of July boat trip to Mississippi's Gulf Coast with a 105 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 2: group of white friends. Two days later, his body was 106 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: found along the shoreline. While authorities have suggested he may 107 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: have accidentally drowned after being left on the island. Both 108 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,799 Speaker 2: the public and the Wells family have questioned that account, 109 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 2: citing conflicting stories and inconsistency surrounding the events leading up 110 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: to his death. The case has also sparked broader conversations 111 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 2: about trust, safety and the unique concerns that I think 112 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 2: many black families navigate when their children are in predominantly 113 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 2: white spaces. How do black families navigate the balance between 114 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 2: encouraging cross cultural friendships and preparing children for the realities 115 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 2: of race and race relations? And I think my more 116 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 2: specific question is many black parents want their children to 117 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 2: build meaningful friendships across different backgrounds that are diverse, and 118 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 2: while they also want to prepare them for the realities 119 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 2: of bias. 120 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 3: How do you strike that balance? 121 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is something that has been sitting with me 122 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: very difficult, as you can imagine, right, Like, I'm also 123 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: the mom of two black boys, and so anytime there 124 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: is a story like this, it really hits home in 125 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: a very particular kind of way. And so I'm sending 126 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: so much love to Nolan's family in this devastating time 127 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: because this is just such a difficult conversation to have. 128 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: It is so, so incredibly tragic, and I think the 129 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: thing that makes it even more the highlight of it 130 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: is that this is not like an isolated story, right, 131 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: and so I think so many black parents are struggling 132 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: in similar way when you continue to see this kind 133 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: of pattern of a black child who is with a 134 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: group of friends that don't look like them, and then 135 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: something ends up happening to the black child, right, especially 136 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: when water is involved. And I'm also somebody who's incredibly 137 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: anxious about water. It just feels like I hear so 138 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: many horror stories about things that happen when water is involved, 139 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: and so I think that you have to take extra 140 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: precautions to make sure who kids are with. And that 141 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: is something that I have struggled with and my husband 142 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: and struggle with in terms of thinking about, Okay, how 143 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: do we raise kids to be in a culture that 144 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: is diverse, right, and that they are not going to 145 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: necessarily only have friends that look like them, but also 146 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: preparing them for the very real realities of the fact 147 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: that they are black boys becoming black men in America, 148 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: in this world, in a world that will not be 149 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: kind to them, that will not always look after them 150 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: in the ways that we would hope and it is 151 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: really difficult, and I think a part of it has 152 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: to start with what kinds of conversations are having with 153 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: parents who are not black parents? Right? 154 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 2: Like? 155 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: I think that there are conversations we have with black 156 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: parents in terms of always vetting, right, like do I 157 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: know the people that my child is spending time with? 158 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: Have I spent time with them? Have I spent time 159 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: in their home? Have they spent time in my home? 160 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 2: Like? 161 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: How well do I know these people? But I think 162 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: that there is another layer of conversation that has to 163 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: happen when we are talking about white parents when there 164 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: is such a history, right, And I think anybody who 165 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: is a parent who denies this history is probably not 166 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: somebody that you want in your friendship circle and not 167 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: somebody who you want your child spending time with, because that, 168 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: to me is them ignoring the realities of the situation 169 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: that has sadly happened too many times. And so I 170 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: think a prerequisite for raising kids with different kinds of 171 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: friends is can you have these difficult conversations around, Look, 172 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: these are the things that are happening. What kinds of 173 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 1: messages are you teaching your kids around how do they 174 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: keep all of their friends safe? Right? Like, what kinds 175 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: of maybe more passive kinds of things that you don't 176 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: think are racist, but actually are racist kinds of comments. 177 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: Are those kinds of things being said in your home? Like, 178 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: you have to be able to have those kinds of 179 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: conversations because otherwise that means that I can't trust you 180 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: to keep my child safe, right, And so I think 181 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: we cannot shy away from those kinds of conversations. And 182 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: I think that that has to happen. You have to 183 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: be able to have those kinds of conversations with white 184 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: parents if you are going to kind of encourage this 185 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: friendship with people who maybe don't look like you. 186 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 2: Thank you for that, And I think to push it 187 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 2: a little further, and not necessarily to victim blame, because 188 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 2: there is nothing you can do in a situation like 189 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 2: this when your child is on a trip and it's 190 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 2: not in your control. But how can black parents and 191 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 2: really all parents have conversations with their children about recognizing 192 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 2: whether a friendship or an environment is emotionally and physically 193 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 2: safe considering race, but also outside of the context of race. 194 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is such an important question, And I really 195 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: appreciate the way you said that up because I think 196 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: like one of the more in sidious parts of racism 197 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: is that it is always putting the bonus on us 198 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: to try to figure out how do we prevent tragedies 199 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: like this? Right? And as you stated, there's nothing that 200 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 1: we as black people can do too. I mean, well, 201 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: there are some things, you know in terms of like 202 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: vetting in that kind of thing, but like we can't 203 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: stop people from being racist and being violent against us 204 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: because we are black, right, Like that is not within 205 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: our power to do. But it often feels like we 206 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: are always trying to like game plan and like circumvent 207 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: these situations when really it should not be our job 208 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: to do that. It definitely is on white parents and 209 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: white kids who have these conversations and make sure they 210 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: are not doing things that put people in danger. But 211 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: I do think that there is an important point around 212 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: just like how are we teaching our kids to vet friendships? Right? 213 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,880 Speaker 1: So I think making sure that you're paying attention to 214 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: like how you feel in circles of people, right, Like 215 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: are you surrounding yourself with people who encourage everybody and 216 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: like really celebrate your strengths and take care of you 217 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: or are you spending time with people who like put 218 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 1: other people down? Are the only way that they feel 219 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 1: like they can be on top is if they make 220 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: fun of other people or exclude other people from a circle, right, 221 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: Like are you actually participating in an environment that is inclusive? 222 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: I think is one thing to teach our kids to do. 223 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: Also to make sure that there are things safety wise, 224 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: especially if water is involved, right, So that may mean 225 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: being extra cautious around like if alcohol is involved, And 226 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: do you get in a car or do you get 227 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: on a boat with somebody who really has been drinking? 228 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,079 Speaker 1: Are there other adults present? Right? I think sometimes you know, 229 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: of course there is a balance of like wanting kids 230 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 1: that do their own thing and kind of be independent, 231 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: but I think that there are also circumstances where more 232 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: adult people need to be involved and so being able 233 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 1: to better situation of like who's going to be there? 234 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: Is there going to be somebody responsible? Do I if 235 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: I'm on water, do I have on a life jacket? 236 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: Like what kinds of things are aut part of the 237 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 1: environment to make sure that people are safe. I think 238 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: it's also something and also really talking with your kids 239 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: about if there's ever a situation where you feel like 240 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: you don't feel comfortable, or you feel like things are 241 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 1: going hey wire and you don't know what to say, 242 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: you can always call me, right and so allowing them 243 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: to know and really putting a system into place where 244 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: they know, hey, like, you're not going to get in 245 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: trouble because you called me at four o'clock in the 246 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: morning because you didn't feel comfortable in this situation. And 247 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: so I think putting something like that in place is 248 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 1: also really important so that kids know that they don't 249 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: have to always problem solve really difficult situations by themselves. 250 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: They also have a support system that will be there 251 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: to help them with that. 252 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 2: Thank you for that. I feel like that was great advice. 253 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 2: I do think I can remember being a teenager and 254 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: being really scared to like call my parents when something went. 255 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 3: Wrong, and then I had to like step back be. 256 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 4: Like, well, who else is going to give me out 257 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 4: this mess? 258 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 2: And so I think that's a good reminder and a 259 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,199 Speaker 2: good relationship to try to cultivate. You know, at the 260 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 2: end of the day, my safety or their safety is 261 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 2: the top priority, and that's something I would always have. 262 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: To remember from our conversation after the break. 263 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 2: Now, we couldn't end this mini episode without talking about 264 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 2: Love Island. 265 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: Dr. 266 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 2: Love Island Season eight is over, and the Islanders are 267 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 2: returning to a completely different digital reality than the one 268 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: they left. Many of them have spent weeks disconnected from 269 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:27,199 Speaker 2: social media and are now coming back to thousands of comments, 270 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 2: viral clips, attention from brands, public opinions, and criticism across TikTok, threats, x, Instagram, 271 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 2: you name it. During last night's finale, the winner, Trinity 272 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 2: got very emotional as she reflected on winning, sharing that 273 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 2: where she comes from, people don't often get opportunities like 274 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 2: this and experience that level of success or quote unquote 275 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 2: beat the odds. 276 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: In this way. 277 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 4: And I think few people in their real lives will 278 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 4: fully understand what it is like to be filmed constantly, 279 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 4: really become famous overnight or overquoe unquote six weeks, and 280 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 4: then return home to an overwhelming amount of praise, scrutiny, 281 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 4: and unsolicited feedback. 282 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 3: How do you. 283 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: Even begin to reconnect with ordinary life when both your 284 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 2: public profile and your understanding of what happened is changing 285 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 2: and has changed, and so for you, Doctor Joy, how 286 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 2: would you advise someone to reintegrate after being disconnected from 287 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: social media and then returning to an onslaught of attention, criticism, 288 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 2: brand interest in public commentary. 289 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: Ooh, this feels so tough and such a like, you know, 290 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: new age kind of situation, right, Like, even though we've 291 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: had reality TV for some time, right, if you think 292 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: about like the early days of the real world, even 293 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: that I think was very different, just because we are 294 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: living in a very different time and we know that 295 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: there tends to be like many more lucrative kinds of 296 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: opportunities for people, especially on Love Island, right when there's 297 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: so much attention to these shows every summer, and so 298 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: I think that it is something that does need to 299 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: be paid attention to. And I do hope that there 300 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 1: is some kind of reintegration process and protocol I hope 301 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: for people coming off the island, because it is very difficult, right, 302 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: And so I think one of the most important things 303 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: is to not like jump completely headfirst into it, right, Like, 304 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: I know people are going to be anxious to have 305 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: their phones and like see you what's happening, But I 306 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: think really giving yourself some time and maybe one of 307 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: the things that I have found interesting is that it 308 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: seems like with these later seasons of Love Island, they've 309 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: had friends controlling their socials and you know, kind of 310 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: still keeping things. I don't know if that's happening this 311 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: season because I tapped out, but I do think kind 312 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 1: of having somebody to kind of give you a consensus 313 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: of Okay, here's generally what people have been thinking about you, right, 314 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: like maybe the good, the bad, and the ugly, so 315 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 1: that you have a little bit of a preparation before 316 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: you kind of just dive into it yourself. But also 317 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: not feeling the need to look through every comment that 318 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: criticizes you, right, are the ones that praise you, right, 319 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: Like having a more measured approach to what have people 320 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: been saying, I think could be a much better re 321 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: entry kind of strategy than trying to figure out everything 322 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: that people have said. So maybe you just get a 323 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: friend who recaps it for you. I also think working 324 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: with a therapist kind of immediately following something like this 325 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: could be really helpful because it is going to be 326 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: a completely different world. This level of isolation is not 327 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: necessarily normal, and so coming back and then as we 328 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: talked about being met with all of these opportunities and 329 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: all of this commentary and all of this criticism, and 330 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 1: six weeks ago you were able to go to your 331 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: grocery store and not be bombarded, and now that may 332 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: likely not be the case, right, And so working with 333 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 1: a therapist, I think that really help sur ground you 334 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 1: in Okay, this is what this new situation could be like. 335 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 1: And having this person to kind of help you to 336 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: walk through some of these new found changes, I think 337 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: could be really helpful. I think Alandria has done an 338 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: excellent job of staying grounded kind of post her Love 339 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: Island success last year, and I think a large part 340 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: of that is that she has, it seems remained very 341 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: connected to her circle of friends who she had before 342 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 1: she entered Love Island, right, so her girls from college, 343 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: and they were the ones who were running her social 344 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: right and so it seems like she stayed really connected 345 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: to them, and it feels like that has given her 346 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 1: a level of levity and groundedness that I think is 347 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,920 Speaker 1: really important to be able to navigate all of these 348 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: transitions that happened post coming out of the villa. 349 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. 350 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 2: I think people make this comment like, don't let fame 351 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 2: get to your head, and it's a natural thing like duh, 352 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 2: you became famed. 353 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 3: It's in your head, it's actually your reality. 354 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 2: But I think when you hold that I had a 355 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 2: reality before this, and that reality is just as valid, 356 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 2: just as nurturing the islanders and the people on other 357 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 2: shows where it's this contained experience, seeing them try to 358 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 2: maintain a sense of normalcy that way, I think has 359 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 2: been really great. 360 00:17:58,520 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 3: For them from my vantage point. 361 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 362 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 3: Agree. 363 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 2: And my last question is when you have gone through 364 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: an experience that very few people can truly relate to, 365 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 2: what can help you process it and reconnect with your 366 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 2: life outside of that experience? Like yeah, because it can 367 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 2: be weird, like oh, I'm going to go talk to 368 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 2: my old friends, but ooh they don't get it. 369 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 3: They weren't on the. 370 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 2: Island for six weeks. And I think people experienced this 371 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 2: after studying abroad or even going to school across the 372 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 2: country or in another country, all those different things too. 373 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 374 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 375 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: And this is where I think having continuing relationships maybe 376 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,679 Speaker 1: with the people who you shared this experience with, if 377 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: those were healthy for you, continuing those relationships can be 378 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: good because you do have this share history, right, there's 379 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 1: nobody else, even previous seasons don't have the experience that, yeah, right, 380 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 1: And I think we see a lot of them moving 381 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: in together, and they do seem to spend a significant 382 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: amount of time together post Villa, and so I think 383 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:58,679 Speaker 1: if those relationships feel healthy, then continuing those relationships can 384 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: be a really good thing so that you don't feel like, oh, 385 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: nobody else really understands this experience, but also connected with 386 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: other people who have had maybe this reality TV kind 387 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: of experience. So maybe that is previous seasons. Maybe those 388 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: are people from other shows, right, Because even if it 389 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: wasn't like the same experience, it was similar enough that 390 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: you will get some understanding and there will be some 391 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,719 Speaker 1: shared language that I think even people who weren't on 392 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: your particular season of a show can really relate to 393 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: you and you don't feel so isolated and kind of 394 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: out in the wild by yourself with those experiences. 395 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah. 396 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 2: I think Amaya, the winner of season seven, put out 397 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 2: a little message just saying take time before you do 398 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,439 Speaker 2: all the interviews and all of those things. I like 399 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 2: it when I see people on reality TV kind of 400 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 2: linking up and becoming friends and I'm like, we don't 401 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 2: know what they've been through and I think having that 402 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,400 Speaker 2: network of support from when the Love Island people, Guff 403 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,200 Speaker 2: with the Love is Blind people and Cuff. 404 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 4: With the Challenge people, I'm like, Oh, this is so cute. 405 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: All of the worlds are converted. I mentioned that I 406 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: tapped out, but I know that you did not tap out, 407 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 1: and so I want to hear kind of like your 408 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: general ideas about the season where you please with the Winner, 409 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: where you surprised, Like what are you feeling? 410 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 2: I was pleased with Winner. I loved Bryce and Trinity. 411 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 2: I think from the beginning there were a lot of 412 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 2: comments around like, oh, they're faking it, And I do 413 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 2: think we don't see a lot of interracial couples on television, 414 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: on reality TV, And yeah, a guy who lives in 415 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 2: what Silver Lake dating a girl from Virginia, Like, that's 416 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 2: in odd pairing. 417 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,959 Speaker 4: Like I think it's okay to say that, But I 418 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 4: think a lot. 419 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 2: Of maybe the uncomfortableness that people like detected in them 420 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 2: was the newness of that type of relationship, and so 421 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 2: to see them kind of grow into comfortability. 422 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 4: On the last episode they said I love you to 423 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 4: each other. 424 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 3: I was like, Wow, this. 425 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 2: Is really this is so cute and so it's weird, 426 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 2: you know, it's a little Truman show ish, but having 427 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,439 Speaker 2: this container where two really different people can meet and 428 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 2: find love, I actually find that to be so beautiful, 429 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,479 Speaker 2: and so I was really rooting for them. And I 430 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 2: think a lot of the comments that you see about 431 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 2: Trinity and Bryce, and then you also maybe saw it 432 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 2: about like Nick and Landria, or even the second place 433 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: winners Karlin and Aya, I think sometimes people need to 434 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: question their assumptions. Why is it out of like the 435 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 2: realm that like this black woman could be. 436 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 3: Loved in a way that you haven't seen before. 437 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 2: And so I do think that was the question a 438 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 2: lot of people were working through, Oh they're scamming, And 439 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 2: I'm like, well, why do you think they're scamming. They're 440 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 2: a new couple like everyone else. Is it crazy that 441 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 2: they could just like each other? But outside of that, 442 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 2: I think it's always really beautiful to see the female 443 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 2: friendships on the show, Like, yes, it is Love Island, 444 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 2: Yes you're there to find love, But I also think 445 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 2: the female friendships and the fourth and the third place 446 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 2: winners Melanie and Sincere and Zach and Kata who America. 447 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 2: A lot of the voters did not like Sincere rightfully 448 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,439 Speaker 2: did not like Zach right, And I think it speaks 449 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 2: to how interconnected your female relationships are with your romantic relationships. 450 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 2: Those two couples would have not made it to the 451 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 2: final four if people did not like the women and 452 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 2: the relationships, and they weren't enthralled by the four. 453 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,400 Speaker 4: Women and their relationship with each other. 454 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,159 Speaker 2: And so I thought it was just very interesting to 455 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 2: see people like, well, we don't even like this couple, 456 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, yeah, a lot of times people 457 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: don't like your partner, that can isolate you socially. It sucks. 458 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 2: But if people do like one partner, it's like, Okay, 459 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 2: we just don't deal with him. And I think that's 460 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: what we got with the bottom two. But I really 461 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 2: enjoyed this season. I thought it was very different from 462 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 2: last season. Last season was more like the real world 463 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: to me than Love Island. 464 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 3: Although we got some couples. 465 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 4: This season, it was very interesting. 466 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 3: I think, well, one. 467 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 2: There was a producer who passed away, which was very sad, 468 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 2: and so as a producer myself, I'm like, Okay, I 469 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,919 Speaker 2: can see them aren't picking up on the ways in 470 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 2: which they're working through that challenge. I also thought it 471 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 2: was really interesting because this is the eighth season and 472 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 2: season six is where people had this crazy fame. 473 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 4: And I don't fault the Islanders for now having a. 474 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 2: Different understanding of the show, because they've probably seen it 475 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 2: and they've seen the fame attached to it. And I mean, 476 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 2: anyone on the who's going on the show is looking 477 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 2: for something, and so seeing how production may be navigated 478 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 2: changing I don't want to say the rules of the show, 479 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,400 Speaker 2: because I know people are a little upset about that, 480 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 2: but changing the nature of the show to give the 481 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 2: Islanders a fresh experience, to shake things up for the audience, 482 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 2: because you're going into a situation that people now know 483 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 2: the rules and codes for. And so I thought that 484 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,719 Speaker 2: was very interesting as well. But we're far it's far 485 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 2: from over. 486 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 3: It's far. 487 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 2: The reunion is August thirtieth, so I'm like, Okay, we 488 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 2: have to wait like a month and a half. But 489 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 2: they're gonna be on Everyone's show, Everyone's podcast. I'm gonna 490 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,160 Speaker 2: mince my words about which the ones they shouldn't go on, 491 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 2: but it's interesting just to see like how people handle 492 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 2: this newfound fame, which. 493 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 3: Is really hard. 494 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: But also I think the most interesting thing is are 495 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 2: they going to choose to watch it back and take 496 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,200 Speaker 2: their experience for what it is, because I do think 497 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,360 Speaker 2: people start to like form opinions that in a negative 498 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 2: sentiment of fellow Islanders once they watched the show and 499 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 2: taken the criticism, And so I think that's always interesting 500 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 2: to see unravel over the next couple of months. 501 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 1: Ooh, so you still have a long journey of love Island. Yeah, 502 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,919 Speaker 1: kind of keep you busy for this summer. Something that 503 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: you said that I also, of course have being written 504 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 1: the book system that heals am also most important or 505 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: most kind of like drawn to, like, well, what's happening 506 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: with the girls in the house? 507 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 2: Right? 508 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: And that's the show that I really want to see. 509 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,399 Speaker 1: Can we get a Sisterhood Island? Like I don't know 510 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,160 Speaker 1: what the like prize would be or like what would 511 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 1: be your purpose. 512 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 4: And like we can come to get. 513 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,159 Speaker 1: Us Andy, we have some ideas about the show and 514 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:55,880 Speaker 1: do something. 515 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 2: To be honest, last year we saw Sisterhood disband after 516 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,640 Speaker 2: the Currents closed. This year my prediction is I don't 517 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 2: think that will happen. I think one of the most 518 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 2: beautiful moments of the show was like family Day and 519 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 2: a Ni's mom is like, hey, you're not being truthful 520 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 2: with your friend about her relationship, and she went and apologized, 521 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 2: and Melanie was like, yeah, it's very confusing to have 522 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 2: your friend say one thing and then say another, and 523 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 2: so the one friend is saying, oh, it's a situationship 524 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 2: and the other is like, I don't see that for 525 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 2: my relationship. And so to see them navigate conflict in 526 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 2: that way and a lot of times come out on 527 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 2: the other side positively, I thought that was really inspiring 528 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 2: because being someone who has been there telling your friend 529 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 2: about their romantic relationship, that's hard. You don't know how 530 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,400 Speaker 2: to navigate that, and then only knowing for like five 531 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: minuts right, even harder. And so I think kudos to 532 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 2: all the women on the island, but especially the remaining 533 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 2: four to the way in which they navigated conflict. 534 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 3: I thought it was really beautiful to see, all right. 535 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: So I'm also like you, like, I want to see 536 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 1: the like the fallout post villa. So I was not 537 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,399 Speaker 1: paying attention during the season, but I definitely will be 538 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: paying attention now to kind of see what's happening post 539 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: villa life. So thank you for those topics of Lisa 540 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 1: thank you for indulging us with your Love Island thoughts. 541 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 1: Like I said, I never wanted to make sure you 542 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,679 Speaker 1: had the opportunity to talk about that because I know 543 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: that's one of your favorite things of the summer. 544 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 3: Yes, it's like my birthday in Love Island. 545 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 4: They like it starts at the same time like, thank 546 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 4: you God. 547 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,679 Speaker 1: Ah, it's your season, it's your season. Well, thank you 548 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: so much for those. If you are paying attention to 549 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: things in your world and your algorithm on your forty page, 550 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 1: if you want us to weigh in on, please send 551 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: those to us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 552 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 1: slash mailbox. And until next time, take good care.