Speaker 1: What's Episolife service. I'm g G Maguire.
Speaker 2: I'm Geordie George. Hi, everyone, it's Elaine.
Speaker 3: Was sweet Listen, don't let it for you, baby, I
Speaker 3: know it's not so sweet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Why Stone cold Heart?
Speaker 5: Stone Cold Heart is a title that I came up
Speaker 5: with this year, actually earlier this year, and it came
Speaker 5: after I was just going through so much in my life.
Speaker 5: You know, I feel like being nice sometimes, especially in
Speaker 5: the industry, there's like a very thin line between being
Speaker 5: a people's person and like being a people pleaser, you know,
Speaker 5: And I think it came from a place of no
Speaker 5: longer just wanting to please people, and it does take
Speaker 5: away from like a person like myself who's always like
Speaker 5: you know, thinking with their hearts and like so giving.
Speaker 5: Sometimes you gotta have a stone cold heart or no
Speaker 5: heart and just you know, my over hearts. So it
Speaker 5: was sort of like coming from that place of having
Speaker 5: to sort of restrict myself because I love to love
Speaker 5: so freely, but being in a place where sometimes I
Speaker 5: feel like you have to love strategically and it's so
Speaker 5: it's so odd to me, but I guess necessary, and
Speaker 5: it's what I'm figuring out on the album and sort
Speaker 5: of like trying.
Speaker 1: To you gotta adspen.
Speaker 2: I have to adjust, I have to adjust.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't necessarily think with my heart or put
Speaker 5: people before me.
Speaker 1: That sucks that you can't think, like move with your
Speaker 1: heart because you can't trust everybody.
Speaker 2: You can't.
Speaker 6: Was there a specific situation that made you be like,
Speaker 6: maybe I need to address things differently going forward.
Speaker 5: I think so many, so many situations. I think the
Speaker 5: last straw, which wasn't even a big deal, but I think,
Speaker 5: you know, when it's like a snowball effect, the one
Speaker 5: thing that gets you to like your breaking point is
Speaker 5: not always like the most intense thing, but it's at
Speaker 5: that time. So I think it's when I decided to
Speaker 5: go independent, you know, and then you start to see
Speaker 5: the back and forth, and then you start to see
Speaker 5: a lot of things that you weren't exposed to before.
Speaker 1: Oh I want to dig into this, Okay, So let's
Speaker 1: talk about Ela for a second. You're from South Africa, Yes,
Speaker 1: South Africa. And you started off as an independent artist, yes,
Speaker 1: and then you signed to Columbia Columbia Records, right to
Speaker 1: Columbia Records. But then you went back to being independent.
Speaker 5: Yes, recently, about a year ago. I know that decision.
Speaker 5: It was more of like a business decision for myself.
Speaker 5: I think being a South African artist, we're at such
Speaker 5: an interesting place in our lives and our careers and
Speaker 5: just as a country. You know, we're breaking so many barriers.
Speaker 5: We've got so much global attention and global lab tyler,
Speaker 5: you know, like the girls, TEMs, all of them. The
Speaker 5: girls are doing so amazing. So I think in the
Speaker 5: same breath, there's also like a lot of figuring out
Speaker 5: that's going on behind the scene from both parties, you know,
Speaker 5: parties that are trying to cross over and people that
Speaker 5: are trying to help, you know, connecting the dots. There's
Speaker 5: still a lot of like maneuvering.
Speaker 1: You did well before you sign though I do it
Speaker 1: pretty lit already. Did you think that signing to a
Speaker 1: major label was going to make things like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is about to be easier for me? We got like,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't, Yes, I don't. I don't think I thought
Speaker 5: it was going to be easier. I think it was
Speaker 5: more so about the platform and the structure, the machine.
Speaker 2: The machine.
Speaker 1: I don't think you not have to do so much, even.
Speaker 5: Not doing things independently. I don't know much of what
Speaker 5: gets done on.
Speaker 2: An international level. You know. I did what I could locally,
Speaker 2: but internationally it's such a different boardgame.
Speaker 1: You know, let's go kind of like go to that
Speaker 1: next level.
Speaker 2: So then we're exactly And then it was a pandemic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you signed during a pandemic.
Speaker 2: I signed. I literally signed like via zoom.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was crazy. It was like the pandemic. And
Speaker 5: I was a full law student at the time as well.
Speaker 1: So did you read your own contract or did you
Speaker 1: have a lawyer?
Speaker 2: No, I had a lawyer. Did you figure this out,
Speaker 2: I'll do it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 2: had I had a lawyer. There were a few lawyers.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a really lengthy process. It was exciting,
Speaker 5: and that happened, and then it was a pandemic. So
Speaker 5: obviously I was stuck in South Africa for some time
Speaker 5: and it was a scary time for everyone for the world,
Speaker 5: so I had to stay put for some time. And
Speaker 5: then I was quarantining in Mexico for some time.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 4: It was the.
Speaker 2: Craziest thing ever.
Speaker 5: While living into I was not living quarantining.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. It sounds like you guys were doing island living.
Speaker 2: I was not. I was not on the island living.
Speaker 2: It wasn't that I.
Speaker 4: Had the time to quarantine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, it wasn't that in Mexico because that was
Speaker 5: the only way that I could get to the US
Speaker 5: during the pandemic from South Africa. There had to be
Speaker 5: a point where I stopped to quarantine.
Speaker 4: So quarantine Mexico fourteen days.
Speaker 2: It was longer than that.
Speaker 5: I think it was thirty days, yes, because of yes,
Speaker 5: But what was it like on the day to day, writing, praying,
Speaker 5: speaking to my family on FaceTime?
Speaker 2: I was by myself. It was really just connecting. And
Speaker 2: I was young. I was like twenty twenty one. No,
Speaker 2: in Mexico, I was scared. I don't want to meet anyone.
Speaker 2: I just wondering, like to meet myself and I yeah, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no.
Speaker 1: They didn't have anybody like appointed to help you.
Speaker 2: It was the pandemic.
Speaker 5: It was really like you were like at a resort
Speaker 5: or yes, I was at a hotel. Yes, I was
Speaker 5: out of hotel, everything everything, and when it is, I way.
Speaker 1: Right, nobody while you were at the resort, like people.
Speaker 5: Like love interest now oh sorry, I always thinking I'm
Speaker 5: always thinking, Hell, you.
Speaker 2: Didn't have a fling.
Speaker 1: You didn't have a fling.
Speaker 2: And I didn't a fling in Mexico.
Speaker 5: No no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: And that's what I was doing there.
Speaker 5: You know. It was really a crazy time. And I
Speaker 5: was there for I think the thirty days, and then
Speaker 5: I moved to LA and I got there and it
Speaker 5: was amazing. I got to make amazing music, music which
Speaker 5: is on Stone. Some of it is on Stone Cold Heart,
Speaker 5: some of it isn't. And I was finding myself early twenties,
Speaker 5: and I think for the first I stayed in LA
Speaker 5: for two years, and for the first nine months I
Speaker 5: wasn't able to go home because of the pandemic. Store
Speaker 5: there was still restrictions, the visa issues and everything, so
Speaker 5: I was stuck.
Speaker 2: For a minute, you know.
Speaker 5: And during that time, I'm celebrating birthdays on FaceTime. I'm
Speaker 5: celebrating Christmas on FaceTime, Easter.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 5: So there was like a shift in me in my
Speaker 5: mental health. And I think that and just being so
Speaker 5: young but being so passionate, you know, it's always like
Speaker 5: a tug of war. And I think eventually, when the
Speaker 5: music was done and it was time to sort of
Speaker 5: figure out a way to put it out. I was
Speaker 5: already sort of feeling like it's not the right structure.
Speaker 2: For me personally, you know.
Speaker 5: I felt like I needed maybe more people who understood me,
Speaker 5: or who understood the sound, or just needed to try again,
Speaker 5: you know. And yeah, that's when I just decided that
Speaker 5: I was going to put out the album by myself.
Speaker 2: And yeah, how was.
Speaker 1: It to get off the label though? Because I would
Speaker 1: think that they weren't going to be willing to just
Speaker 1: be like, I don't know how this works, but to
Speaker 1: be like, all right, good luck. Do you think, like,
Speaker 1: how did you get out of it?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: My goodness?
Speaker 5: It was not easy, but it wasn't impossible, which is
Speaker 5: what I appreciate because I feel like there's so many
Speaker 5: situations that I've seen have so many artists who get
Speaker 5: in but can't necessarily get out of the deals, you know.
Speaker 5: So I was lucky enough. It wasn't even like a
Speaker 5: terrible dealer, was a licensing deal, so like from the bats,
Speaker 5: I don't think it was that technical for me to
Speaker 5: be able to get out, But there was like the
Speaker 5: emotional side to it, you know, they always going to
Speaker 5: try when I, you know, talk to you figure some
Speaker 5: things out. But I think eventually we got to a
Speaker 5: place where we mutually felt like, you know, my goals
Speaker 5: and there's just for the time being, just not necessarily
Speaker 5: on the same page for now, and that's okay. I
Speaker 5: feel like, even where I'm at now, I'm not necessarily
Speaker 5: saying I'm closed off to the idea of major labels.
Speaker 5: I might be, you know, interested in revisiting the conversation
Speaker 5: maybe in the near future, you know, finding a bit
Speaker 5: of STI.
Speaker 2: It was a time.
Speaker 1: It was even signing during the pandemic zoom, then going
Speaker 1: to America for thirty days, then moving to LA That's
Speaker 1: a lot your first deal, you know, and so it
Speaker 1: wasn't so easy to be able to promote, to link
Speaker 1: up with other people. That's not easy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't easy.
Speaker 5: And by the time, you know, I finally met the people,
Speaker 5: because there's actual people at the label, you know that
Speaker 5: you need to meet in real life, and you guys
Speaker 5: need to find the flow. It was so many moving
Speaker 5: pieces that we had to sort of put together, and yeah,
Speaker 5: we tried, and we have beautiful music out of it.
Speaker 5: And it wasn't all a terrible experience, not at all.
Speaker 5: I learned so much and I've grown so much, and
Speaker 5: the resources that I got out of it are still
Speaker 5: till this day, life changing.
Speaker 1: You'll be fine, we got Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I'm grateful. I'm so grateful for that experience,
Speaker 5: and I feel like it set me up for every
Speaker 5: other experience that I'm here to have.
Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about personal experiences in that case. Yes,
Speaker 1: because the way this album starts off was Brandy sample.
Speaker 2: Oh I love Brandy.
Speaker 1: That is the ultimate breakup song. I remember breaking up
Speaker 1: with somebody was playing that song and being like, Dann,
Speaker 1: I feel sad. Shit. So I gotta know for you,
Speaker 1: what were you feeling like, because that's a real emotion.
Speaker 7: Right there, long as lonely hearted, like what happened?
Speaker 8: Right?
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, broken hearted as bit. It feels crazy
Speaker 5: saying it out loud because it's so different when you're
Speaker 5: writing about it and you're alone in the right.
Speaker 1: Broken heart today, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And I since, Yeah, you know, I'm still sins even
Speaker 5: when I'm angry. But I think at that time I
Speaker 5: was really angry. During that time, I had just moved
Speaker 5: from I'm over it now. If it was me like
Speaker 5: two years ago, I'll be like, let's go now, I'll
Speaker 5: do it location.
Speaker 4: We love.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: I was moving to.
Speaker 5: L A during the time, right and there was someone
Speaker 5: that I was seeing at the time and we were
Speaker 5: on and off, and by the time I was moving
Speaker 5: to l A, I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 5: I don't think this is gonna work.
Speaker 2: Cool off of this.
Speaker 5: So remember from me deciding that I'm moving to me
Speaker 5: actually being able to physically get on the plane and
Speaker 5: leave was so much of back and forth and trying
Speaker 5: to find a new flight and canceling the flight because
Speaker 5: of the pandemic. So I'd be like, I'm leaving next
Speaker 5: week and then something comes up and then I can't leave.
Speaker 5: So from the time that I had announced to the
Speaker 5: people in my family and to the people that were
Speaker 5: close to me versus the time that I actually left,
Speaker 5: there's like a month in between that space. So as
Speaker 5: we're doing this back and forth with me, you know,
Speaker 5: adjusting to me moving, I decided that I'm going to
Speaker 5: ace this person that had been in my life for
Speaker 5: some time, but they were very toxic, you know, they
Speaker 5: had mental health issues. So I was just like, I
Speaker 5: can't deal with this on a long distance type thing,
Speaker 5: you know. So I started to speak to someone else
Speaker 5: and they were cool. I met them through a family friend.
Speaker 5: And it wasn't even anything hectic that happened between us
Speaker 5: or anything that was so monumental or life changing. It
Speaker 5: was just the vulnerability at the time of me getting
Speaker 5: to know someone and speaking to them. It was just
Speaker 5: someone that I was talking to on some Oh my gosh,
Speaker 5: I'm about to countries, you know, and I'm leaving behind
Speaker 5: so many things, so many people.
Speaker 2: And we were cool.
Speaker 5: And then long story short, he ghosted me, right and
Speaker 5: then it just felt like a double heartbreak, and I
Speaker 5: was so.
Speaker 2: Ghost what is raw? Like, what's going on?
Speaker 5: Thin?
Speaker 6: Men sometimes don't have the courage to just say, hey,
Speaker 6: I'm not interested, or I'm not where you're at, or
Speaker 6: you don't.
Speaker 4: Know how to use their words.
Speaker 5: But I was so offended and taken it back by
Speaker 5: that because it wasn't even about what was going on
Speaker 5: between us, but what I had mentioned to you at
Speaker 5: the time, you know, I had told her I was like,
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, I'm going through so much. I'm about
Speaker 5: to leave my country. Like my mom's in essential worker,
Speaker 5: she's a nurse, so it's so scary, you know, she's
Speaker 5: in the hospitals every day, like I was in a vulnerable.
Speaker 9: Place, you know, at least like me as a person
Speaker 9: just respecting or like I was just in a vulnerable
Speaker 9: place and that on top of everything else, and just
Speaker 9: my degree was just like none of these niggas mean ship.
Speaker 2: Like I just got on the plane.
Speaker 5: Just like writing, and I was so upset. And that's
Speaker 5: how it came up with that title.
Speaker 1: It's nice toy, Yeah, the dear Diary.
Speaker 2: That's what happened.
Speaker 5: It is it's so like petty. But I realized how
Speaker 5: that instant just like sort of snowball effect into so
Speaker 5: many other things because just off the bad my discussions
Speaker 5: with men were very.
Speaker 2: Like what do you want? You know?
Speaker 5: So yeah, like it was laiter down the line where
Speaker 5: I started realizing where the breakdown was. And it was
Speaker 5: just because of that one silly dude that meant nothing
Speaker 5: that inconvenienced me at that time. But I felt that
Speaker 5: because I was vulnerable at that time, you know.
Speaker 1: Because sometimes when you're going through something it hurts so much.
Speaker 2: It just hurts so much more.
Speaker 5: It's like you were not even that deep, my nigger,
Speaker 5: Like it was not even that deep, Like you were
Speaker 5: not that great, you didn't change my life, but.
Speaker 1: You could have been friends at least.
Speaker 2: Thing that people don't understand don't have to be that way.
Speaker 1: Before that, though, you said the person you were dealing
Speaker 1: with have mental health issues. That's a difficult thing. I've
Speaker 1: had people ask me, like, how do you handle that
Speaker 1: if you're dating somebody they have met, because you also
Speaker 1: don't want to abandon someone because you know, for a
Speaker 1: certain like some things they cannot help, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like it is a sickness if it's a mental
Speaker 1: health issue, but then you know at certain times it
Speaker 1: affects you. It's like, what's the balance there of knowing, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to be supportive, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: I don't want to endanger myself, right.
Speaker 5: I think it was a very difficult thing for me
Speaker 5: to figure out because it also borderline fold manipulative. You know,
Speaker 5: most of the time, it's just like I don't really
Speaker 5: have a say or a valid comment on your behavior
Speaker 5: because it's always going to fall back onto the fact
Speaker 5: that you're lacking this, or you're not one hundred percent okay,
Speaker 5: or you're struggling with this. So it's just like, what
Speaker 5: ground do I really have to call you out, and
Speaker 5: what's the likeliness of you actually changing your behavior?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: So I think he was weaponizing his month.
Speaker 5: I feel like that was also me learning, you know,
Speaker 5: how powerful and scenttitive mental health is, but just how
Speaker 5: to maneuver around it is also really tricky, especially when
Speaker 5: it's someone's you know, like personality, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 5: I'm this and this and that because I'm suffering from this.
Speaker 5: Oh I'm this and this and that because you know
Speaker 5: I'm going through that.
Speaker 1: But they basically diagnosed or just saying that.
Speaker 2: I've never also feel like, yeah, are you a fortually.
Speaker 1: Diagnosed we're the papers polar or is it they just
Speaker 1: saying something's wrong?
Speaker 5: And since I met them, they were just open about
Speaker 5: you know, this is what. So I never really took
Speaker 5: the time to ask, like, you know, I just would
Speaker 5: never want to think twice or really make someone feel
Speaker 5: like are you really though?
Speaker 2: You know, are you really depressed?
Speaker 6: So actually a conversation recently with an actress I forget
Speaker 6: who it was, and she was saying she didn't even
Speaker 6: realize she was technically in an abusive relationship because someone
Speaker 6: kept weaponizing what they were going through. But it was
Speaker 6: a manipulation tactic to make her feel and like control her.
Speaker 1: Some people are on medication, like they have to be
Speaker 1: on medication correct in order.
Speaker 4: To correct, you know.
Speaker 2: And I never saw any medication. You know.
Speaker 5: Maybe it was a private thing that they did, but
Speaker 5: I never saw any medication, and I never asked. And
Speaker 5: perhaps now looking back, there's so many red flags that
Speaker 5: I'm realizing that I should have asked. I should have
Speaker 5: you know, but you never know, especially if you've never
Speaker 5: necessarily been in a relationship or been around anyone that
Speaker 5: is suffering from a mental health, whether it's valid or not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you got hooked up with a family friend,
Speaker 1: you know, what's tired about hooking somebody up.
Speaker 5: Then when he goes to and I know, and she
Speaker 5: wasn't even trying to hook me up. She was just,
Speaker 5: you know, like, damn, girl, you're about to move you
Speaker 5: you know, let me talk to someone, you know, So
Speaker 5: I don't blame her. She she it was cool, and
Speaker 5: we were all friends at the time, so it was
Speaker 5: harmless until it wasn't.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard to help people up because you'd be
Speaker 1: like I like my friends to be like I'm like, yeah, girl, but.
Speaker 2: Go ahead I'm also not I'm also like a matchmaker. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't like to take on that role. I'm not
Speaker 5: a matchmaker and I'm not a wingman because.
Speaker 2: I'm scared. I don't want to be involved. I just
Speaker 2: want to Yeah, I don't want to be involved.
Speaker 1: But then after that, right now you're in La So
Speaker 1: then how do you start dating after that? Because it
Speaker 1: feels like I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 5: I tried, but Los Palmis Avenue that's me trying. You know,
Speaker 5: I tried, but I don't know, like I don't know
Speaker 5: dating in America or maybe it's La. I only stayed
Speaker 5: in La is rough it's America. It's like so detached,
Speaker 5: you know. It's like I'm with you, but I'm not.
Speaker 1: Like, well, let's talk about Las Palmas Avenue. So that's
Speaker 1: a real story.
Speaker 2: That was Yeah, yes, yes, so Los Palmis Avenue.
Speaker 5: I was and I'll keep saying talking because none of
Speaker 5: me and these people were in a relationship. Got to
Speaker 5: a stage where it was actually like, oh, we're in
Speaker 5: a relationship.
Speaker 2: So me and this.
Speaker 5: Person we were really cool, you know, And I stayed
Speaker 5: on Los Palmis Avenue in La So I guess that
Speaker 5: should have been the first red flag because we only
Speaker 5: ever really spent time at.
Speaker 2: Las Palmas at your place right right.
Speaker 5: And if we were not at Los Palmas, we were outside.
Speaker 1: You know, you never so you never went to his.
Speaker 2: Place, no me.
Speaker 5: We met outside like at an event, at a private event. Yeah,
Speaker 5: we met at a private event in La.
Speaker 2: It was cool.
Speaker 5: But we had known of each other already. We had
Speaker 5: been following each other right for some time, right, So
Speaker 5: it was like, oh, it's.
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Oh you
Speaker 2: stay in La now? Oh nice? Where about Palmis Avenue? Cool?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 5: And at first, because you know, La is like so active,
Speaker 5: there's always something happening, it would just be I would
Speaker 5: so happened to see him outside, and every time I
Speaker 5: see him outside, we so happened to hang out, you know.
Speaker 5: So it wasn't a way you ad what are you
Speaker 5: doing NEXTNK. It was just a I'll bump into you
Speaker 5: and then it's cash we hang out. And so this
Speaker 5: started happening for like the next three months, the first
Speaker 5: couple of months as I arrived in La. And then
Speaker 5: eventually he was just like, oh, do you want to go?
Speaker 5: Do you want to go hang out? Is it Lucky
Speaker 5: the place where you go bowling, Yes.
Speaker 2: Lucky Strike, So that was our spots. So we went
Speaker 2: to Lucky Strike.
Speaker 5: That was like five vibes and everything, cute cue, and
Speaker 5: so we started spending time at Las Palmers, you know,
Speaker 5: started to you know, get to know each other. And
Speaker 5: off the bat, he wasn't a very open person and
Speaker 5: I wasn't either. Obviously broken hearted as bitch.
Speaker 2: You know, not really into it.
Speaker 5: So it's not giving open right until randomly I get
Speaker 5: like screenshots from an account and it's in my requests, right,
Speaker 5: and yeah, and I DM right and it's in my
Speaker 5: request so I don't really see the damn.
Speaker 2: So it's been there for like a week or so.
Speaker 5: At this point I go in and it's a screenshot
Speaker 5: of and his numbers not safe, so I can see
Speaker 5: the full number on I message, right, So I first
Speaker 5: go back and check if I have the number saved.
Speaker 5: I have the number saved. Then I see whose number
Speaker 5: it is. Off the beats, I already know what's going on.
Speaker 2: So it's a conversation.
Speaker 5: Between him and another girl and her talking about what
Speaker 5: time am I meeting you?
Speaker 2: Oh, it was so nice to see you. I love
Speaker 2: spending weekends with you, you know, bring.
Speaker 5: In mind that weekend he had told me he was
Speaker 5: supposed to be at a work ding, you know whatever.
Speaker 5: So she just sends me those screenshots and I'm like, okay, cool,
Speaker 5: you know it was it was such a petty thing.
Speaker 2: You know, but I was just like, well.
Speaker 5: You know, yeah, generally, what am I supposed to do
Speaker 5: about this? She didn't, she didn't say anything. She just
Speaker 5: sent the screenshots. She didn't say a word.
Speaker 1: Was it from a secret account or was it from
Speaker 1: the person's real account?
Speaker 2: Yeah? The chest, Yeah, with the chest.
Speaker 5: Which is what made it so much more easier because
Speaker 5: when I confronted him, I was just like, hey, and
Speaker 5: I said her name, I said so and so and so,
Speaker 5: you know, let me know that you guys had a
Speaker 5: really great time this weekend at your work ding. So
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna yeah, and then I'm just like I'm
Speaker 5: just gonna fall back, you know, you guys do your day.
Speaker 2: And he was shook.
Speaker 5: He was shook, And I think that's what made the
Speaker 5: whole thing so dramatic, was just because he was so shocking.
Speaker 5: He tried to guess like me, he was like, why
Speaker 5: are you in my business? And I'm like, I literally,
Speaker 5: it's just it's just like yeah, and it was just
Speaker 5: it was very toxic on both it and actually because
Speaker 5: she was also just like very much like you know
Speaker 5: what you're doing. It's not even that deep. I didn't
Speaker 5: know about you. You clearly knew about me. No, but
Speaker 5: she did have like a cute little following like she's
Speaker 5: lucky strieling. He just decided to just you know, remove
Speaker 5: myself because for you to dal me with your chest
Speaker 5: and send me screenshots is already so messy. And it's
Speaker 5: not even like you were fighting for him. It's just
Speaker 5: like you were letting me know that you were spending
Speaker 5: time with him, so it's not like.
Speaker 2: Trying to let me know.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, technically he wasn't in a
Speaker 1: relationship without one of you.
Speaker 2: He wasn't. So that's why I said, say, let's that's
Speaker 2: what the song says, my man, you know is ours.
Speaker 1: Doesn't feel competitive sometimes like for us as women, you
Speaker 1: know how sometimes you're with somebody like kind of and
Speaker 1: then he's dating someone else and then you feel like
Speaker 1: well if I I mean, I don't know, because I
Speaker 1: think sometimes that does happen where you're like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna let him do this and then he's to be
Speaker 1: with her and now no, no, I.
Speaker 2: Can't do that.
Speaker 5: I can't do any casual anything. I can't do I
Speaker 5: can't do it. Like, if we're not exclusive, it is it? Yeah, no,
Speaker 5: then we're not doing it.
Speaker 1: What if he would have just been honest and been like, look,
Speaker 1: you know what, I wasn't with either one of you
Speaker 1: and I was still his reactions yeah like you if
Speaker 1: he would have just been honest and I apologized, you know,
Speaker 1: that was very messy. What if he would have did that.
Speaker 2: I would have appreciated.
Speaker 5: You.
Speaker 2: See.
Speaker 5: The thing with me is like, let's just be honest
Speaker 5: from jump. Let me know that this is not going
Speaker 5: to go anywhere. You know, we're just vibing or I'm
Speaker 5: trying to see other people whatever.
Speaker 2: Then I can.
Speaker 5: Decide for myself. But if we're spending time together and
Speaker 5: you know you're my girl, you're my girl, you know
Speaker 5: you're my girls, but he's never asked me out.
Speaker 2: So until you ask me out, I'm not your girl,
Speaker 2: you know. Like for me, it's just like yeah, call
Speaker 2: you that, I'm just like.
Speaker 1: Okay, like, oh you're not my girl. I'm just like
Speaker 1: it's so scared a bit you'd be like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is my man.
Speaker 3: Talk.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I don't know, had you just been honest
Speaker 5: and just not so slimy? I feel like it was
Speaker 5: just so slimy.
Speaker 1: And so does somebody cut everybody else off? Because you
Speaker 1: were talking to him? So that means that you cut
Speaker 1: everybody else off? Because I also think sometimes we're at
Speaker 1: a disadvantage when we start dating somebody. It's not official,
Speaker 1: but we're not talking to anybody else.
Speaker 2: That's how we lose.
Speaker 5: Is that how we lose low key, like in the
Speaker 5: talking stage and we're talking to one person only.
Speaker 7: Yes, because you just cut everything else off and then
Speaker 7: it doesn't work out, and then you got to try
Speaker 7: to either find somebody new where we build connections. And
Speaker 7: it's just like what people fail to realize is when
Speaker 7: you meet somebody, there's always somebody else before you, like.
Speaker 4: Nobody in their lives.
Speaker 7: There's always somebody in said person's life in some type
Speaker 7: of capacity, whether it's a sexual relationship or just talking
Speaker 7: readership or going out to coffee relationship. You have somebody
Speaker 7: that's on your phone in some type of way. And
Speaker 7: when you meet some elsa and you like that person,
Speaker 7: you gravitate more towards them and put your energy there
Speaker 7: and either you let it fade or you say, hey,
Speaker 7: I'm in a relationship. Now I'm gonna fall back. But
Speaker 7: that's what we do as women. These men they just
Speaker 7: want us all. They think they're gonna juggle us all.
Speaker 1: Just like in that period you're getting to know someone
Speaker 1: else that you're gravitating to. It are you supposed to
Speaker 1: cut everybody else up?
Speaker 6: And when it's official, think you have a ninety like
Speaker 6: I think it's three month, ninety day grace period to
Speaker 6: let the hose fall off.
Speaker 2: I think we all have those people that.
Speaker 6: Because they spend the block every time. So it's like
Speaker 6: even if you aren't even talking, like let's say this
Speaker 6: man that goes to me, right, he's gonna come back
Speaker 6: January fifteenth, he'll be back like my taxes, right, and
Speaker 6: so I'm going to be like, Okay, now I have
Speaker 6: to say something, whereas before I wouldn't say anything if
Speaker 6: I met somebody tomorrow because we are even speaking, But
Speaker 6: he's gonna come back, so I'm gonna have to say something.
Speaker 6: Then that's a ninety day grace period.
Speaker 1: Grace period.
Speaker 6: Pakay, Now I have the time to say something, but
Speaker 6: I'm not necessarily going to go out of my way
Speaker 6: to say do you.
Speaker 1: Think you could love two people at this? Like absolutely? Yeah?
Speaker 2: In this I don't know. I don't think I can.
Speaker 4: Fas difference between loving and being in.
Speaker 6: No, I've definitely had life friends at the same time,
Speaker 6: and I didn't know what to do, like truly, they
Speaker 6: do it to us, but like that's me, like actually,
Speaker 6: and I felt bad, but I didn't know.
Speaker 4: What to do.
Speaker 2: I felt bad.
Speaker 4: I didn't feel bad though I felt bad.
Speaker 1: And they found out, but all they did they did
Speaker 1: so then did they both forget?
Speaker 5: They know?
Speaker 6: We went on on and on for then another two
Speaker 6: years with both of them.
Speaker 1: Did they ask you questions? I feel like guys like
Speaker 1: I did, like, yeah, I'm glad trash.
Speaker 2: Once and then they didn't catch you again.
Speaker 6: So they caught me in the SLI like, Okay, well
Speaker 6: I'm single. I'm not dating either one of you right now.
Speaker 6: But they were both my ex boyfriends separately, okay, like
Speaker 6: at one point and then I broke up with one
Speaker 6: and then I'd be with the other, and there was
Speaker 6: like that lull period where it was like I was
Speaker 6: switching and then one found him in my phone damn.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was legal. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know if.
Speaker 8: My past, my past from my Instagram to that one
Speaker 8: really got me in trouble Instagram. Yeah, and my homegirl
Speaker 8: was doing the same thing and they were friends.
Speaker 2: Oh it was a mess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, damn TV show.
Speaker 6: But now that was a long time ago.
Speaker 1: It was more than the other.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so surely he wins easy.
Speaker 1: I think you know what it was.
Speaker 6: I think it was actually trauma because he knew my
Speaker 6: mom before she passed, and she was he was there.
Speaker 2: Through all that.
Speaker 6: So well, they both kind of were, but I was
Speaker 6: with one and so I felt like, oh, but he
Speaker 6: knew my mom, Like I always felt like I gave
Speaker 6: him a pass for that. I shouldn't have done that
Speaker 6: because he was the trash here one.
Speaker 1: But but that was the one. Sometimes we gravitate to
Speaker 1: the trash here one.
Speaker 2: The trauma bond. Yeah, exactly exactly. I feel that.
Speaker 1: Well, what about the song Waiting on You. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 5: I love waiting on You. Waiting on You is like
Speaker 5: the sweetest, most purest innocent song on the album. I'm
Speaker 5: not cussing anyone out.
Speaker 2: You're being very I'm being very sweet.
Speaker 1: That's some things going on.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 5: You know, it was still very sweet and very love
Speaker 5: a girl, but it was coming from like a more
Speaker 5: personal perspective. I think it was more so the feeling
Speaker 5: of constantly waiting on everything, you know, waiting for your turn,
Speaker 5: waiting for the right love, waiting for the right relationship.
Speaker 5: But at the time, I was in the label waiting
Speaker 5: for them to give me a date for my song
Speaker 5: to drop, just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, and it's just
Speaker 5: like finding inspiration in the waiting.
Speaker 2: Period, it's like really difficult.
Speaker 5: So I spent a lot of my time making music
Speaker 5: and I made that song during that period, so it's special.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 1: It's a sweet song.
Speaker 2: Sweet's perspective, it's a different perspective, feel like, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe I'm not so stone.
Speaker 1: Cold, although maybe you don't want to be.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be. I don't want to be.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be. And I think that's how
Speaker 1: I feel like women get that way because of our experiences.
Speaker 1: It's like we don't want to be that way, and
Speaker 1: when you trying to ignite that, you can feel like
Speaker 1: I don't have to be that way with then get better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, I agree. I like the song Relapse.
Speaker 2: You like Relapses?
Speaker 6: It Why I like it, it's because you acknowledge the
Speaker 6: friends aspect of it, which I feel like a lot
Speaker 6: of women ignore. When you're like I forgive you, but
Speaker 6: are my homegirls gonna forgive you? And like, what am
Speaker 6: I gonna tell that?
Speaker 1: That's when you bring up with someone you cannot tell everybody.
Speaker 1: Nobody can because when you get back together, none of
Speaker 1: your friends gone.
Speaker 4: Exactly, you're not gonna let it go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's so real, I know. And I was
Speaker 2: that person.
Speaker 5: I lost all my friends actually sadly. Yeah, so that
Speaker 5: was a song from back day when I had friends.
Speaker 1: But you lost your friends because.
Speaker 5: No, I don't know, I think I just you know,
Speaker 5: we just lose your friends. I don't know if it's
Speaker 5: after I became famous things changed, and not necessarily because
Speaker 5: I switched up, but naturally I am going to change. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's not even like I did anything wrong, you know.
Speaker 5: I think about it quite often of the breakdown of
Speaker 5: friendships when you get to a certain place. Maybe it's
Speaker 5: just the fact that there was very little that we
Speaker 5: could connect on. Maybe our priorities changed, but Yeah, it
Speaker 5: was really painful, especially when I was putting the album together. Usually,
Speaker 5: you know, i'd have like my homegirls, like, girls, what
Speaker 5: do you think? But this part of my life, this
Speaker 5: album was like a very lonely time for me. So
Speaker 5: even in relapsing, I remember when I wrote the song
Speaker 5: it was about the person that I was telling you
Speaker 5: guys earlier about that was struggling with his mental health
Speaker 5: and we'd be on and off and he'd always just
Speaker 5: to get me back. There'd be a bigger trick than
Speaker 5: the last, which involved his mental health, you know. And
Speaker 5: every time he would do this, I'd tell my homegirls
Speaker 5: like he's doing this again, like he's just he's doing
Speaker 5: this again, and they'd be like, this is not good,
Speaker 5: this is not healthy. You know, you gotta cut it off,
Speaker 5: and then cut it off, and then he'd do something else,
Speaker 5: and then I'd have to tell them that, you know,
Speaker 5: and it was just terrible because I ended up, you know,
Speaker 5: distancing myself from them because I didn't want to let
Speaker 5: them down every time you know that I was relapsing,
Speaker 5: you know, and then I just started not telling them
Speaker 5: about what was going on. And it sucks not being
Speaker 5: able to tell your homegirls just because you feel like
Speaker 5: they're going to shout at you, but you know they're
Speaker 5: gonna shout at because they're coming from a good place.
Speaker 1: And then you ended up isolating yourself, and.
Speaker 5: Then you isolate yourself, and then it's even more terrible
Speaker 5: because it's not like your nigga's acting right, you know,
Speaker 5: and you're icing your friends, so you're just hurting yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just hurting yourself.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and then asking that you just never got
Speaker 1: down to your friends, right.
Speaker 5: It wasn't even after that. Me and my friends were
Speaker 5: straight for years after that incident happened. It was totally
Speaker 5: related to other things. I think the more we started
Speaker 5: to grow into ourselves, maybe just being the first famous
Speaker 5: person in your friendship group is a shock to your
Speaker 5: friendship group, and maybe it is difficult to adjust. And
Speaker 5: I mean, I was away in another country for two years,
Speaker 5: so there's only so many face times that can really
Speaker 5: make up for me missing birthdays and me missing graduations.
Speaker 5: But I don't know, It's like every time we were together,
Speaker 5: I was either making the plans or we weren't really linking,
Speaker 5: you know, or I was texting or I wasn't really
Speaker 5: hearing from them. And then the last straw was when
Speaker 5: it was my birthday and I didn't get a personal message,
Speaker 5: but I got like an Instagram post and I was
Speaker 5: going back and forth like is it is it worth it?
Speaker 5: Like is it that deep? But I'm like, damn, I've
Speaker 5: known you for like more than ten years. A personal
Speaker 5: message would.
Speaker 2: Have hit hit different.
Speaker 4: You know, the whole country coming with you.
Speaker 2: Babe, like FaceTime me a text.
Speaker 5: But I also understand that you know she was going
Speaker 5: through whatever she was going through at the time, so
Speaker 5: I can respect that. But if you can take the
Speaker 5: two minutes to post me, could have kind of taken
Speaker 5: to it just low key even anything. So it just
Speaker 5: started to feel more and more detached, you know, just
Speaker 5: the little patterns of like you can't call me, but
Speaker 5: you can post me. It's just like the little things,
Speaker 5: and it was just like I also, I'm not a
Speaker 5: person that likes to address things, so I never there
Speaker 5: wasn't an actual fall out. I didn't address anything. I
Speaker 5: just I just fell back.
Speaker 1: When you go home, do you call like or just no?
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: My family and my brothers, yeah, me and my brother's
Speaker 2: already tired.
Speaker 1: It's not something that can't be at some point, you know,
Speaker 1: Selvash like, maybe it's just.
Speaker 2: They don't say anything after my album dropped.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's.
Speaker 2: New friends like friends.
Speaker 4: That hurts, new friends that hurts.
Speaker 1: That's just hurt And.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I mean I didn't lose. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: lost quite a lot of them. I still have.
Speaker 5: It is disappointing, but I've also learned to hold myself
Speaker 5: accountable and let everyone else hopefully hold themselves accountable. I'm
Speaker 5: not bashing anyone, I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm just saying it's probably hurtful. Though
Speaker 1: it does hurt.
Speaker 2: It hurts like we're friends for years, but it happens.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this book.
Speaker 4: Hold on.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you the name of it, because I
Speaker 1: think this is interesting. Her name is mel Rap and
Speaker 1: she's like a motivational speaker. But she has a book.
Speaker 1: Is it's called the let them Theory, right, and it's
Speaker 1: just to let other people make their choices and live
Speaker 1: their lives and start making your job or responsibility to
Speaker 1: manage or control what other people are doing.
Speaker 2: I love that, I said.
Speaker 1: By using this theory, she said, I've never felt so.
Speaker 5: Free I love that. That's where I'm at. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: just letting people do what they want to do. I
Speaker 5: feel like I'm also the person that's always in people's ears,
Speaker 5: you know, like don't do that, don't do this, you know,
Speaker 5: be straight, be this. So I'm tired of being in
Speaker 5: your ear. Like you act however you want to act,
Speaker 5: And I'm going to add how I act. You know,
Speaker 5: everybody's grown and everything, so just keep the same energy.
Speaker 1: Really well, You've had a lot of accomplishments and music wise,
Speaker 1: thank you. That has to feel good being like the
Speaker 1: most stream South African women artists on Spotify. Yes, you
Speaker 1: know that was a huge feat when you did that,
Speaker 1: and putting out your album, going your EP going platinum,
Speaker 1: where you put the EP out, that had to be
Speaker 1: an amazing feeling. And even doing R and B. I've
Speaker 1: been the only part of Africa I've been to is
Speaker 1: South Africa to Johannesburg amazing. It was an event that
Speaker 1: was for women artists, so I got to meet a
Speaker 1: lot of people while I was there. It was called
Speaker 1: her Story.
Speaker 2: Oh Fire, What year was that?
Speaker 1: Oh it was before the pandemic, okay before and I
Speaker 1: was oh wow, it was a beautiful, beautiful event.
Speaker 2: I can imagine to go out there and see.
Speaker 1: The support, and it was like all of the South
Speaker 1: African women artists that were there and.
Speaker 5: When they pull up, they okay, say girls are going
Speaker 5: to pull up?
Speaker 1: Yes, the support that you get back home.
Speaker 5: I love South Africa. I love the South African fan base.
Speaker 5: I think I'm always just so taken aback by the
Speaker 5: support that I get from them. Because how I dropped
Speaker 5: my EP I was like a law student, had like
Speaker 5: seven hundred followers on Instagram, give a take like four
Speaker 5: hundred followers on Twitter, and one day I just dropped
Speaker 5: the link and I switched my phone off because I
Speaker 5: was just annoyed at some things that were going on
Speaker 5: that day. And the next day in camp, I'm on
Speaker 5: campus in class and my phone is still off because
Speaker 5: I'm upset.
Speaker 2: And the lecture hall is just really weird.
Speaker 5: Everyone is staring at me, everyone is pointing, everyone is kicking,
Speaker 5: you know. So I'm like, what's going on, Like it's
Speaker 5: really uncomfortable. Then I step out, I pull up my phone,
Speaker 5: and then I'm number one. So that's how it happened
Speaker 5: organically over overnight.
Speaker 1: But being a law school student and that in like
Speaker 1: your producer's dorm room. Yeah, which is amazing. Imagine I'm
Speaker 1: going to because first of all, law schools are ready
Speaker 1: hard enough.
Speaker 2: It is stressful. Yeah, yeah, it was stressful.
Speaker 1: And then to be able to even have the creative
Speaker 1: because I feel like when I'm working, it's hard for
Speaker 1: me to like do anything creative when I have to
Speaker 1: work so much. So how do you, like, how were
Speaker 1: you able to switch back and forth from like legal mode.
Speaker 4: Of former therapy creative to be able to create.
Speaker 5: It was like just a way of life for me,
Speaker 5: Like I just felt very demotivated going to school every
Speaker 5: day and not doing something that I love. You know,
Speaker 5: I love education and I love going to school, but
Speaker 5: it wasn't really what sets my heart on fire. So literally,
Speaker 5: in between classes, any minute that I got to go
Speaker 5: to the studio or to my producer's dorm room, I
Speaker 5: would take it. In between lessons, in between lectures after school,
Speaker 5: Like I would go to school, go to lessons, go
Speaker 5: to the studio and be there till like three am,
Speaker 5: go home, shower, and go write an exam and not
Speaker 5: even because I had to, but just because I loved it,
Speaker 5: you know, And that's passion yeah, it's passionate. Everyone was
Speaker 5: just like, what are you working so hard for?
Speaker 2: Like what is this?
Speaker 5: You're not even like a musician, Like what are you doing.
Speaker 5: I was like, don't worry, don't worry. You know, I'm
Speaker 5: doing my own thing. And everyone was just like demotivating
Speaker 5: me when it came to making an EP, because it
Speaker 5: was like, no one comes out with an EP, you know,
Speaker 5: you put out a single first, you know, let the
Speaker 5: market get to know you.
Speaker 2: It's like, no, I'm not really prayers. I had a story.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm gonna give you my whole heart.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna give you a four law.
Speaker 2: Appreciate, thank you very much.
Speaker 1: And that's the no co sign.
Speaker 4: No nothing, yeah, no, nothing, how rare that is anything.
Speaker 2: I don't have anything.
Speaker 5: God's grace and the sad that African fan base, thank you,
Speaker 5: and the South African fan base. So you know, I'll
Speaker 5: always attribute my success and all of the amazing things
Speaker 5: that have happened to me because of my South African
Speaker 5: fan base.
Speaker 2: I know, we're such a diverse nation and.
Speaker 5: We have so many genres and I think right now
Speaker 5: I'm a piano is like the center of focus.
Speaker 2: Always, you know, which is amazing I do. I do.
Speaker 2: It is so fun I do. It's a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: So I first learned that from Uncle Waffles. Obviously she's
Speaker 1: it existed, but that was when I first really knew.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she helped.
Speaker 5: She she she played a huge role in helping it crossover,
Speaker 5: you know, with her presence, her energy. So yeah, I
Speaker 5: think I feel even more like honored to do what
Speaker 5: I do because even with a piano meaning so much
Speaker 5: and being such a huge part of our culture, I
Speaker 5: always feel like they leave a seat at the table
Speaker 5: for me. It's like, oh, but there is our R
Speaker 5: and B go, we're gonna show her love when she comes.
Speaker 5: You know, we're gonna we're gonna listen. You know, we're
Speaker 5: gonna tap in. And that's I feel they look out.
Speaker 2: You know. South African fans are not easy to impress.
Speaker 2: I'm not easy to They're not easy people. So but
Speaker 2: I know they love me, and.
Speaker 1: I know that because of the response outside.
Speaker 2: One thing about it, to make sure.
Speaker 5: One thing about it, Yeah, one thing about it, and
Speaker 5: you know, it's like I see the love in real life.
Speaker 5: For me, it's always like the real life experiences every
Speaker 5: time I'm outside an essay.
Speaker 2: Always come up to me. I always show love.
Speaker 5: The shows are insane, The shows are out of this world.
Speaker 5: Some of my best shows are in s a just
Speaker 5: off of the love the fan based the people. You
Speaker 5: guys have to go to go, you know, I've never
Speaker 5: to go.
Speaker 6: Although the Great White Sharks? Where is that at Cape Town?
Speaker 2: I'm not maybe you're not going to see the sharks.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what you're talking about. What sharks
Speaker 2: vibes with the.
Speaker 1: But now let me ask you what are you attracted
Speaker 1: to when it comes to dating?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: One of the things is it looks? Is it power? Like?
Speaker 4: Some people don't care about looks so much?
Speaker 1: Right? You know, sometimes there are things that physically we're
Speaker 1: more attracted to than other things. Like for Elaine, what
Speaker 1: are some things that you look at?
Speaker 2: You like?
Speaker 1: This is the real connection for me?
Speaker 5: For me, it's a man that's able to be considerate.
Speaker 5: A lot of men are inconsiderate. And I mean it
Speaker 5: just like in the simplest way, like are you are
Speaker 5: you a considerate man? Like?
Speaker 2: Are you thinking of me?
Speaker 8: For me?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 5: Are you thinking so that I don't have to necessarily
Speaker 5: think for the both of us. I hate being in
Speaker 5: a relationship but feeling like I got to think for
Speaker 5: both of us here, I got to make a way
Speaker 5: for both of us.
Speaker 2: I got to figure it out for both of us.
Speaker 5: So someone that's considerate and someone that's emotionally intelligent, I
Speaker 5: can't deal with what do.
Speaker 2: You mean as nigga? Like, what do you mean? What
Speaker 2: do I mean?
Speaker 5: Like it's in the message, you know, it's like it's
Speaker 5: read so emotional intelligence and just being considerate and being
Speaker 5: a provider. And being a provider doesn't necessarily mean giving
Speaker 5: me millions every day, but Oky, maybe you won't complain that,
Speaker 5: but providing in so many different ways, you know. Can
Speaker 5: you give me your time? Can you give me your attention?
Speaker 5: You know a lot of things, but I think the
Speaker 5: top three massage?
Speaker 2: You know. Can you say, can you do like something
Speaker 2: sweet for me when I'm at the studio? Can you
Speaker 2: send a bouquet of flowers or you know, send some
Speaker 2: noble to the studio?
Speaker 1: Anybody list it between somebody being considerate and being a stalker.
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, I think, oh yeah, there is a
Speaker 5: very thin line, but there really isn't. I think a
Speaker 5: stalker is quite literally dangerous. You know, like you can't
Speaker 5: be all up in my girl twenty four to seven
Speaker 5: and you can't be blowing up my phone.
Speaker 1: Because sometimes for guys, they're trying to get your attention.
Speaker 1: But there is definitely a thin line between like sending
Speaker 1: the studio, sending flowers, doing this if you like somebody,
Speaker 1: oh that's great. If you're not sure, it's like, oh.
Speaker 2: This is right.
Speaker 5: And there's also the love bombing aspect. You know, we're
Speaker 5: like they'll do everything like and you're so completely hooked.
Speaker 5: So that's why sometimes it's like beyond what you can
Speaker 5: do and just like who you are as a person,
Speaker 5: you know, sending me everything every day is cool. But
Speaker 5: a lot of people can do that. Actually a lot
Speaker 5: of people want to do that just because I feel
Speaker 5: like that's the easiest thing to do, just send her something.
Speaker 5: But can you actually, you know, act ride, Will you
Speaker 5: actually come by the studio you know and come listen
Speaker 5: or you know, actually like give me your time for
Speaker 5: real and be involved.
Speaker 1: How are you were playing music for a guy? Like
Speaker 1: if you and him come to listen.
Speaker 2: And that's the last thing we're doing. That's my main
Speaker 2: that is.
Speaker 5: That is the last thing we are doing. Far away
Speaker 5: from the studio. We can show anyway about the studio.
Speaker 5: The studio you're coming in. If you're like my man
Speaker 5: and you already know all the lyrics, you know, you
Speaker 5: can sing the song top to bottom and yeah, other
Speaker 5: than that off limits.
Speaker 1: What about him like coming to your shows and stuff?
Speaker 1: Are you cool with?
Speaker 2: That's cool? Okay, Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1: Sometimes cute, it's cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cute.
Speaker 1: You can come coming backstage with some flowers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come back to your flowers, you know, show me
Speaker 2: the videos you took from backstage, you know, wear the
Speaker 2: full merch.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to start posting post.
Speaker 2: I don't think i'll start I don't think i'll post
Speaker 2: somebody right now. Why must I post?
Speaker 6: All of a sudden, You'll see me at my wedding
Speaker 6: day and they'll be like, who is this? And even
Speaker 6: then it will be the back of his head. You
Speaker 6: won't know anything about him, that's all.
Speaker 2: That's all.
Speaker 4: You'll see his shoulder.
Speaker 2: I posting posting?
Speaker 1: What if he must to post you you can post me, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Very yeah, you can post me, post me. I'm not
Speaker 2: posting though.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's even hard for me to post myself now.
Speaker 5: I must post you that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Well, you think you're just not good at social media? Like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean.
Speaker 5: I just think I've like learned how to give of
Speaker 5: myself without having to give of my like sacred parts
Speaker 5: of my life, you know, parts that actually really play
Speaker 5: a role in sustaining me.
Speaker 2: My well being.
Speaker 5: My partner is like a huge part of my life,
Speaker 5: you know, And I wouldn't want to throw him into
Speaker 5: whatever was going on internet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Internet is crazy.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 5: Internet is you're having a good day today, Tomorrow you're
Speaker 5: not having a good day. You could be having a
Speaker 5: good day in the morning, and then in the evening
Speaker 5: someone tweets something crazy and then it's upside down, right,
Speaker 5: that happened to you.
Speaker 2: It happens all the time.
Speaker 5: This morning, someone will on the phone with me telling
Speaker 5: me it's going down on the internet, and I had
Speaker 5: to tell them to stop searching my name on the internet. Yeah,
Speaker 5: Like I needed to keep telling my family, like, don't
Speaker 5: search my name on the internet, Like why are you searching?
Speaker 1: That's the worst? Yes much your family. Yes, it's like
Speaker 1: something that I can handle.
Speaker 6: But my family, they want to fight, They want to
Speaker 6: fight so mad.
Speaker 2: My mom gets so emotional. I'm like, babe, stop searching
Speaker 2: my name on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine anybody saying I've never seen nothing crazy
Speaker 1: about you.
Speaker 2: Really, that's great, thank you.
Speaker 9: Don't search, just bump the music music.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're definitely a little rebellious, though.
Speaker 2: Am I do I give rebellious? You're an aries. I'm
Speaker 2: an aries territory a little bit.
Speaker 4: You know, there's a club here in New York that
Speaker 4: you're a band from because you're aries. I don't know
Speaker 4: the name of Yes, is that legal?
Speaker 1: It feels like some type of discriminate.
Speaker 4: Discrimination is really like a thing for real, But they
Speaker 4: talk about it.
Speaker 1: I saw that. Is there a sign that you won't date?
Speaker 1: Or do you pay attention to that?
Speaker 5: I don't really pay attention. But Gemini is give me
Speaker 5: a tough time? Is it is anyone in Gemini?
Speaker 1: Gemini men are very.
Speaker 4: Say that, you know, I love a Gemini apparently. I've
Speaker 4: had so many.
Speaker 7: All of my significant relationships have been with Gemini, Gemini men, Scorpio.
Speaker 4: The longest relationships.
Speaker 2: Yeah, be played with Yeah. Cancers are also a bit wild.
Speaker 4: There's a cancer buzzing around me. There's a cancer now,
Speaker 4: and I'm like.
Speaker 1: You know, because I search things like on Instagram because
Speaker 1: I'm a Capricorn. I always see like all these memes
Speaker 1: about Capricorn and they be so accurate.
Speaker 5: Every time they are accurate. I think that's that's like
Speaker 5: the mind about it is like I'm like.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't really believe in it, and then I'm like,
Speaker 2: but wait, they gag you. I'm like, yeah, that is
Speaker 2: so mean. That's crazy when.
Speaker 1: When you want to toilest and in your man means
Speaker 1: like was like did you see this?
Speaker 2: Did you see this? That's my love language? And food,
Speaker 2: like I want to try this. I love food. I
Speaker 2: love food so much. That's my love language.
Speaker 1: Now listen, have you ever been like, just do you
Speaker 1: believe in love at first sight?
Speaker 5: I do?
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: Has that happened to you?
Speaker 2: It has, which is why I love or lust? No,
Speaker 2: it was love. It was love.
Speaker 5: It was just like for me to like, really, I
Speaker 5: think something is love. It must be something that I feel,
Speaker 5: you know, and there's some there is someone that I've
Speaker 5: met for the first time and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 5: I feel I have feelings for you off the bad?
Speaker 1: Wow, where did that go.
Speaker 2: Far?
Speaker 4: Really far?
Speaker 2: It's still going You didn't mentioned that it's getting hot
Speaker 2: in here, and.
Speaker 5: But yeah, to be continued, to be continued on the
Speaker 5: next project, maybe I'll say a little something more more.
Speaker 1: Because it feels like this album started off a little
Speaker 1: heartbreak ish and then it kind of like then there
Speaker 1: was a relapsed situation and then there's the you know more.
Speaker 5: But some of the ones up there, it did end
Speaker 5: on a sweet note.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's like it's like a happy ending of
Speaker 2: some sort. Yeah. Yeah, I never like to end projects
Speaker 2: on like a terrible note like.
Speaker 1: Ending.
Speaker 2: It was a good ending.
Speaker 1: For Lovely Slowly is a really fun song.
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's my favorite song. That's the song.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I had so much fun putting that song together, and
Speaker 5: we incorporated rock into it as well, which was my
Speaker 5: first time. I made the song with my good friend
Speaker 5: and producer Zeke he South African, and we were working
Speaker 5: on that song.
Speaker 2: For two years. Wow. Yes, we started.
Speaker 5: Working on that song in twenty twenty two when I
Speaker 5: was staying in l A. And we have a bunch
Speaker 5: of other songs together as well, but that song we
Speaker 5: were just going back and forth on like the palette
Speaker 5: that we wanted to create, you know, we just like
Speaker 5: wanted something that felt smooth fresh. We were listening to
Speaker 5: a lot of like full columns at the time as well,
Speaker 5: who was like inspiring the sounds?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were. We went really just.
Speaker 1: That one song, I can feel it.
Speaker 4: We all had that studio.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 5: In Pala as well, we spend so much time just
Speaker 5: listening to these fire artists and finding a way that
Speaker 5: felt like unique to me as a South African you know,
Speaker 5: R and B artist and.
Speaker 1: Funny at your age, like the music that you're inspired by.
Speaker 2: I'm an old soul.
Speaker 1: Yes, so much.
Speaker 2: I can tell.
Speaker 5: I don't send playlists because I feel like boys my
Speaker 5: age will be like girl.
Speaker 1: It's so impressive when a man can be on your
Speaker 1: musical like palette.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I mean, because.
Speaker 1: That's a hard thing to do.
Speaker 2: Music is so intimate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like being able to lay around and listen to
Speaker 1: music that y'all both can like have a unique It
Speaker 1: is amazing.
Speaker 4: That's a real intimacy.
Speaker 1: There's nothing works then when somebody doesn't like the type
Speaker 1: of music you like and they'd be playing shit and
Speaker 1: you'd be like.
Speaker 5: That happened to me a lot when I was staying
Speaker 5: in La Every time I said I was South African.
Speaker 5: They would like search indigenous like South African music, and
Speaker 5: that's what they'd be playing, like on the car to date,
Speaker 5: and I'd be like, damn, like I listened to trap,
Speaker 5: like you can play something.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's okay, like yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you ever dated white guys?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: I haven't.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you guys are thinking about being it all
Speaker 1: types of men.
Speaker 2: I haven't. Okay that you haven't either, I haven't.
Speaker 1: I want to say that I discriminated. It just hasn't happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it hasn't happened for me.
Speaker 1: It's different.
Speaker 6: You know what I want to I can imagine Blazian baby.
Speaker 6: I want to have a Blatian baby. That's like my dream.
Speaker 1: It'd be like because my mom is black, my dad
Speaker 1: is exactly. I'm like, you know, have you ever dated
Speaker 1: another race at all? Period?
Speaker 2: I haven't, Okay, yeah, I really haven't.
Speaker 1: No, have you dated a Asian guy ever?
Speaker 2: I haven't dated one.
Speaker 1: But you've slept yeah, okay.
Speaker 6: One.
Speaker 5: It was great and there's never like a culture barrier
Speaker 5: or cultural shock.
Speaker 2: Well there is so.
Speaker 6: Well I don't know because I didn't really like to
Speaker 6: see him that long, but I guess in my mind
Speaker 6: and I made this up in my mind. I lost
Speaker 6: my mom, and so I'm like, I want a strong
Speaker 6: woman of color, and I don't know if I want
Speaker 6: it to be a black woman like for my kids grandparents.
Speaker 6: I would love to, but I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 6: if they I don't feel like they make black women
Speaker 6: like they used to.
Speaker 2: I don't even know my.
Speaker 6: Generation, seriously, like I don't know, like my when I
Speaker 6: think of my grandmother's I'm like, I don't know if
Speaker 6: any of these bitches could ever measure even me. And
Speaker 6: so I'm like, Okay, what would the next best thing?
Speaker 6: I feel like an Asian grandmother would be.
Speaker 4: Like really disciplined and really as I.
Speaker 1: Need that, You're right, grandmother who don't like black people?
Speaker 6: Yeah that you know, obviously that wouldn't work, but you know,
Speaker 6: I would need them to be very accepting, like.
Speaker 2: What was that?
Speaker 1: Who's that?
Speaker 6: Who's the girl on the talk not the talk, the
Speaker 6: real like her mom is so cute?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, we got to ask, no kidding,
Speaker 1: he might tell you something else, but yeah, something like
Speaker 1: that that.
Speaker 2: I love that for you.
Speaker 7: That is very I love that for you is so
Speaker 7: interesting if you do that the culture. I mean, you
Speaker 7: just want her to have some culture and substances. What
Speaker 7: you say, I do. And if it doesn't come from
Speaker 7: a strong Black woman, maybe a strong Asian woman.
Speaker 6: Somebody else from a different culture, I think, right, being
Speaker 6: a person of color.
Speaker 4: What you're saying somebody?
Speaker 2: So you think you're data South African men? Yeah? Do
Speaker 2: you know? Do you know what they look like? Do
Speaker 2: you know what they like? What they like? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't want to speak bad on my brothers. What
Speaker 2: they like.
Speaker 5: These are like they love black girls, Yeah, they love
Speaker 5: the South African men.
Speaker 2: Are you know modern men?
Speaker 5: Someone into black girls, someone into traditional South African women,
Speaker 5: someone into white women.
Speaker 2: Some you know data cross that's pretty much yeah. Modern.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you speaking bad?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: I don't like you from your experience.
Speaker 2: From my experience.
Speaker 5: You need to give yourself time to find the right
Speaker 5: type of South African men, you know, I think it's
Speaker 5: I think it might be difficult and rocky in the beginning.
Speaker 5: There's different types of men in South Africa. There's men
Speaker 5: that are into independent women, you know, women who have
Speaker 5: autonomy of their lives, of their bodies, of their choices,
Speaker 5: women who are confident in themselves, who speak out, who
Speaker 5: speak against men, And there's some men that don't like
Speaker 5: that and aren't into it and are totally opposed to
Speaker 5: women who have a voice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do they all men like that who are liking it?
Speaker 2: Why do you cuss so much?
Speaker 4: In Lane?
Speaker 2: We don't like what you were wearing that video, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 4: So, and I'm just saying more conservative.
Speaker 5: We do have some conservative and we do have modern.
Speaker 5: We do have traditional, there's polygamy. If you're trying to
Speaker 5: have sister, we have everything. There are people who are
Speaker 5: with you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1: What's the difference between men in l A and you
Speaker 1: would say South African men.
Speaker 5: I feel like South African men they still some way
Speaker 5: have like they like there's like a quarter sea for you,
Speaker 5: you know, I don't know if it's like the African
Speaker 5: thing or like the There's like a spirit of Ubuntu.
Speaker 2: It's called Auntu.
Speaker 5: It's like a peoplehood, you know, being a good person overall,
Speaker 5: you know, being caring. So there's still a spirit of Ubuntu.
Speaker 5: Even if you're meeting yes, you know, you can still
Speaker 5: feel like, Okay, I'm speaking to a regular person. That
Speaker 5: has regard for me and respect for me until you
Speaker 5: figure out what they're like in a romantic relationship. But
Speaker 5: I think that's the difference between that. I think when
Speaker 5: you come to America, you know, whether you're a black
Speaker 5: woman or not, you're just damn what can you offer?
Speaker 5: You know, what you bring it to the table? Or
Speaker 5: there's nothing significant to them, like you're just there's so
Speaker 5: many women that they have access to that they don't
Speaker 5: see women as like valuable or even significant. I just
Speaker 5: didn't feel significant, you know. Yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 5: I'm wrong.
Speaker 2: Was I in the wrong? Was in the wrong?
Speaker 1: I think La is different too than others. Yeah, La,
Speaker 1: La is because a lot of people there I think
Speaker 1: aren't from there, and people move to LA because they're pursuing,
Speaker 1: like you know, so they move there, and sois Sometimes
Speaker 1: it can feel transactional, like what do you do?
Speaker 2: You know first, that's the first thing they all say,
Speaker 2: what do you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Atlanta is the same way.
Speaker 2: I haven't been to I live there.
Speaker 4: It's very what do you do?
Speaker 1: They do?
Speaker 7: Ex where you're from because most people aren't from there,
Speaker 7: but it's very what do you do? There's a lot
Speaker 7: of like how can you help me? Help me type
Speaker 7: of vibes? I get that, like how can I what?
Speaker 4: What type of you know? What can you offer me?
Speaker 7: As far as like your resources and your network?
Speaker 4: And it's just like, what's.
Speaker 1: Up, Elena? I would think though you feel you seem
Speaker 1: like a prize. You could sing you're beautiful than your
Speaker 1: baby hares have happened every time you keep looking at you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: That's one of them.
Speaker 5: D M is like the dams are rowdy, rowdy. You
Speaker 5: can have to catch me in your life. Yeah, if
Speaker 5: you're serious, it has to be in real life. Do
Speaker 5: you respond to the d M s. Who's the spiciest
Speaker 5: d M you've gotten.
Speaker 2: That? What was that? I wouldn't put them on.
Speaker 5: It's always like high profile people who are actively in relationships.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm like, I wouldn't want to, you know.
Speaker 5: So I'm just like it's yeah, it's crazy, yeah.
Speaker 1: Disappointing.
Speaker 5: With you. You know, I'm not so keen on dms
Speaker 5: because it's just like, what's really going on? So you're
Speaker 5: gonna have to catch me in real life and tell
Speaker 5: me your story straight, and then.
Speaker 1: They'll be like, oh, that wasn't me from my pro
Speaker 1: that was my homeboy that do you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean?
Speaker 5: You know, and then they take a screenshot if you
Speaker 5: respond like, oh, Elene is responding like you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know the best.
Speaker 1: Maybe it is an approach on a business level, you think.
Speaker 2: So that would upset me if I think you're about.
Speaker 1: To give you some money and they could be like
Speaker 1: and they could really do business then get.
Speaker 4: To know you as a p okay okay, okay and make.
Speaker 1: You feel more comfortable. But that if they really want
Speaker 1: to court you, okay, I would think, okay, because how
Speaker 1: else are you going to respond? You're not going to
Speaker 1: respond to somebody up Hey maybe girls know right, But
Speaker 1: if somebody's like, you know, we have this baby hair
Speaker 1: product that we think you'd be great.
Speaker 5: To Yeah, what do you need? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I will respond to that.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 1: Ellene. We appreciate you so much for coming.
Speaker 2: You so sweet, Thank you for having me. This was
Speaker 2: so much fun. This was my first you know, girl
Speaker 2: get together here and I had a great time.
Speaker 1: I had a good time and we had a good time.
Speaker 1: Because your music and then getting to talk to you
Speaker 1: in real life and understand where those songs are coming from.
Speaker 1: I think that connection is important and so we got
Speaker 1: a chance to really feel what your past experiences have
Speaker 1: been like. And like you're only what twenty.
Speaker 2: Five, yes, twenty five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is when all the ship stuff happens. I know,
Speaker 1: you can get it out the way you want, like
Speaker 1: all the shitty things to happen earlier, so that you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you got that out the way, Dallas. I'm always grateful that,
Speaker 1: like I went through a lot earlier on yeah, so
Speaker 1: that I could kind of like learn my lessons.
Speaker 2: I agree. I'm never opposed to failing forward, so you don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to tripping up this field.
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm not opposed to it.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, Elaine, thank you much, and you guys
Speaker 1: make sure you check out her new project that's out
Speaker 1: right now. Because you did this independently.
Speaker 2: I did so.
Speaker 1: And your heart doesn't feel so stone cold. It feels
Speaker 1: like it's it's getting warm.
Speaker 2: It's always warm.
Speaker 5: It's just sometimes I set up real quick before I
Speaker 5: do certain things or head you know, head places, or
Speaker 5: engage with certain people.
Speaker 2: So I'm learning when to do, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I'm learning how to balance.
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm planning my I'm going to be having a
Speaker 5: national tour this Valentine's unfair, but yes, it's going to
Speaker 5: be exciting and then hopefully there'll be more in the US,
Speaker 5: so stay tuned to the socials.
Speaker 6: Okay, we have a music video idea for you.
Speaker 2: You do what is it? You know the story of Medusa?
Speaker 6: Yes, and like she she turns men to stone, but
Speaker 6: like the backstory is because she was she was heartbroken.
Speaker 2: You should do a player on that. You a you?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 5: We like? Okay, creative director director direct all Bright, Well,
Speaker 5: thank you.
Speaker 1: It's Lift Service in Light.
Speaker 2: Thank you.