WEBVTT - DELILAH DILEMMAS: Some needed perspective

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<v Speaker 1>Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have

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<v Speaker 1>put together some of my favorite radio moments here to

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<v Speaker 1>share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.

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<v Speaker 1>Every night on my radio show, I have a feature

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<v Speaker 1>called Delilah's Dilemmas, or folks call me or write me

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<v Speaker 1>and share a sticky situation they're in and I try

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<v Speaker 1>to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to listen to some of those unique situations

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<v Speaker 1>right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is

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<v Speaker 1>from d her boyfriend. She says, heard your show about

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<v Speaker 1>a gentleman who had been dating a lady for a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of months and she was pressuring him to marry her.

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<v Speaker 1>You told him to put on some shorts and tennis

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<v Speaker 1>shoes and run the other direction. You said the woman

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<v Speaker 1>was controlling. My boyfriend then told me he was sharing

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<v Speaker 1>this story with me because I am the same way

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<v Speaker 1>as that woman, but our story is different. He and

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<v Speaker 1>I have been dating for two and a half years,

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<v Speaker 1>not two and a half months. I asked him about

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<v Speaker 1>our future and told him I was ready for a

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<v Speaker 1>commitment after a year. Don't you think you should know

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<v Speaker 1>if someone is right for you. I'm forty four years

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<v Speaker 1>old and he is forty six. I have a seven

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<v Speaker 1>year old and I desire a complete family. He's a

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<v Speaker 1>good hearted man, but he has a closed mind and

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<v Speaker 1>he feels our situation is the same as the one

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<v Speaker 1>you spoke of. I would like your response, Well, D,

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<v Speaker 1>I will give you my response coming up next. Tonight's

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<v Speaker 1>Delilah's Dilemma is from a forty four year old woman

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<v Speaker 1>who has a son who is seven, who has been

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<v Speaker 1>dating a man for over two years and wants a

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<v Speaker 1>commitment and he's saying, no, you're being too controlling about that. D.

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<v Speaker 1>You're the one who needs to put on the shorts

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<v Speaker 1>and the tennis shoes and run if after two and

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<v Speaker 1>a half years, he doesn't know what he wants. There's

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<v Speaker 1>a great book out it's by Steve Harvey. It's called

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<v Speaker 1>Act like a Lady, Think like a Man, and it

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<v Speaker 1>is so good. D you got to pick it up

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<v Speaker 1>and read it, and then you will discover if he

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<v Speaker 1>is looking for keeps or if he's just out having

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit of fun and not really interested in

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<v Speaker 1>a forever relationship. Read that book and then I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>you will come to your own conclusions. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says,

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<v Speaker 1>my dad has been in and out of jail since

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<v Speaker 1>I was about two. I am now sixteen, and I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't seen him in about eight years. I mostly just

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<v Speaker 1>tear things, and he used to write to me, and

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to it. Now I wish I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know him at all. He video cams homeless people and

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<v Speaker 1>makes fun of them. He's cynical and mean. He's just

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<v Speaker 1>a bad person. So how do I deal with this?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so disappointed and I'm so hurt. I will have

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<v Speaker 1>my words for you, honey, coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's

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<v Speaker 1>Dilemma is from a sixteen year old who's not seen

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<v Speaker 1>or talked to their dad in eight years. Dad's been

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<v Speaker 1>in and out of jail since they were two, and

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<v Speaker 1>dad is a cynical, mean person. How do I deal

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<v Speaker 1>with this? Here's how you deal with this. You thank

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<v Speaker 1>God that you are here and that God allowed your

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<v Speaker 1>father to father you, and then you recognize that just

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<v Speaker 1>because your dad is those things doesn't mean that those

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<v Speaker 1>things have to be visited upon you. In fact, it's

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<v Speaker 1>probably if he's that cynical, and that mean it's a

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<v Speaker 1>good thing that God kept him away from you for

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<v Speaker 1>the last eight years. So number one, you wouldn't be hurt.

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<v Speaker 1>And number two, those character traits are character defects, those

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<v Speaker 1>bad things wouldn't be visited upon you. Because a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of times kids become what they are exposed to. So

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<v Speaker 1>if they're exposed to drugs and fighting and alcohol and abuse,

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<v Speaker 1>they become drug addicts and alcoholics and abusers. But because

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<v Speaker 1>your dad's been in jail and you said you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>had any contact for eight years, he's not been allowed

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<v Speaker 1>to influence you that way. Now, how do you accept

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<v Speaker 1>the fact that your dad is a deadbeat dad and

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<v Speaker 1>as a mean person. You just put him in God's

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<v Speaker 1>hand and say, I don't know how he ended up

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<v Speaker 1>so broken. I don't know what happened to him in

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<v Speaker 1>his childhood that he's got such a mean spirit and

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<v Speaker 1>I can't fix it. So God, you deal with him

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<v Speaker 1>and then you let it go. And I bet you

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of people that love you, So focus

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<v Speaker 1>on the gifts that you do have, not on what

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<v Speaker 1>you don't. Here Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is so sweet. It

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<v Speaker 1>says I know this sounds silly. I'm sixty two and single.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been single for almost twenty years, and I've not

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<v Speaker 1>dated during this time. I just get on the computer

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<v Speaker 1>and I joined one of the dating sites. I'm very safe,

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<v Speaker 1>very picky. I've had several lunch dates, but the chemistry

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<v Speaker 1>was not there. Two weeks ago, I received a message

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<v Speaker 1>from a guy in another state, and we've been emailing

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<v Speaker 1>and instant messaging constantly. Now we're talking on the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>He's flying here in two weeks, and I'm sure the

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<v Speaker 1>sparks will be flying when we get together. He said

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<v Speaker 1>all the right things. He makes my toes curl and

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<v Speaker 1>anticipation of this visit. Delilah, am I too old to

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<v Speaker 1>fall head over heels in love with this man. He's

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<v Speaker 1>on my mind constantly. I ache with the very thought

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<v Speaker 1>of him. Am I just being silly? I feel giddy,

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<v Speaker 1>not like a sixty two year old grandma. Any advice

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<v Speaker 1>from Linda, young lady. I will have my advice for

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<v Speaker 1>you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Linda,

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<v Speaker 1>who is falling head over heels. She is twitter paid.

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<v Speaker 1>I won't call it love yet because it's only been

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<v Speaker 1>a few weeks, but you are twitter paated, Linda, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's a very very good thing. So long as your

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<v Speaker 1>heart is beating and you are alive on this planet,

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<v Speaker 1>you have the capacity to love. And there are so

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<v Speaker 1>many different kinds of love, and romantic love is just

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<v Speaker 1>one of those kinds. But it's so delightful and so delicious,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have protected your heart for two decades. Good

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<v Speaker 1>for you. Be safe, Be sure you set boundaries if

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<v Speaker 1>you've not met him, make sure that you've got a

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<v Speaker 1>safety net and friends around, and you're not getting into

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<v Speaker 1>a bad situation. He could be a flake. Many people are,

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<v Speaker 1>but if he's as wonderful as you think, you're not

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<v Speaker 1>being silly at all. Good luck. I so hope you

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<v Speaker 1>have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I enjoy

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<v Speaker 1>bringing them to you. I'll share more with you each

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<v Speaker 1>weekday on Hey It's Delilah.