1 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks 2 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: so much for joining us again. We are always excited 3 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,959 Speaker 1: to be back and having you here. Kat. 4 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: How's going, Oh my gosh, it is, you know, just 5 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 2: rolling through the first week of the new year, loving it. 6 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 2: It's been record warm temperatures in Austin, Texas. Who needs 7 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 2: the beach when it can be eighty six degrees in Austin, 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 2: Texas in the first week of January. 9 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: I do because the blue water is just beautiful. 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 2: Okay, rub it in, rub it in, Susan, still at 11 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,159 Speaker 2: the beach, all right, Today, Susan and I are back. 12 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 2: We are answering some of your questions. This is one 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 2: of our favorite things to do. Thanks for writing in. 14 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 2: We're so excited to check in with you guys and 15 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 2: dish some advice. So I'm going to do the first one. Okay, 16 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: are you ready to see? How can you go? Chris writes, Hi, 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan, I have selected the word strength toocus 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: on for this year. I'm fifty six and I'm really 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 2: feeling like I need to focus on taking care of 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 2: my body and making it strong again. Kathy, I've heard 21 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 2: you talk about the importance of stretching, and I'm wondering 22 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: if you have specific stretches and strength training that you do, 23 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 2: or if you could share your protocol daily schedule on 24 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 2: the podcast. What does working out look like when you're 25 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 2: in menopause. I would love to know how you keep 26 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 2: in such good shape and stay motivated. Susan, you look 27 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 2: great too. I just know you don't like to work 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: out as much as Kathy does. I appreciate any advice 29 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 2: you both can provide. 30 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: Well, Chris, I just want to say one thing I 31 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: do stretch. That is critical because if you don't, things 32 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: aren't going to flow. I do. 33 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 2: That's true. She's absolutely right, and thank you Chris for 34 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 2: your lovely comments about me looking so great. It's a 35 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 2: little rough in the beginning of the new year, but 36 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 2: we're all getting back into the gym and getting focused 37 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 2: on strength and so let me give you a couple 38 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 2: of easy tips. Chris. First of all, don't jump. Don't 39 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 2: become a weekend warrior. That is, don't jump into the 40 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 2: gym and work out for an hour an hour and 41 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 2: a half, because what's going to happen is you're going 42 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: to tear something, hurt something, get so sore that you 43 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 2: won't do it again, So start small. I would encourage 44 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 2: you to start off walking ten minutes. You don't have 45 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: to do it marathon pace. Just walk for ten minutes. 46 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 2: When you come back from the walk, stretch and let 47 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: me give you some easy stretches. Lying on the floor, 48 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 2: lifting each leg individually into your chest, slowly rolling one 49 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: leg over onto the other side of your body like 50 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,239 Speaker 2: making an l if you will bending at the waste 51 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 2: and just slowly. Don't be bouncing. Stretching is just that 52 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: it's not bouncing. It's slowly holding as far as you 53 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 2: can and then letting it go. And there are tons 54 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 2: of stretching exercises you can get on YouTube. There's some 55 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 2: fun of information that you can get. The other thing 56 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 2: that I would say to you is strength training. So 57 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: you're probably obviously, well not obviously, probably in menopause, and 58 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 2: we lose strength once we go into menopause, and so 59 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 2: weight training, although you didn't ask that, strength training slash 60 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: weight training is super important. And again I would encourage you, 61 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 2: if you have the resources available, get a trainer, work 62 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: with a trainer two or three times, get him to 63 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 2: write out a workout for you. Do that workout for 64 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 2: four six weeks, not every day, start out three days 65 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 2: a week. That's plenty, and then go after six weeks 66 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: and get a new workout again. There's so many good 67 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 2: ree workouts online and get yourself. You can buy cheap 68 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 2: weights at secondhand stories. You don't have to order brand 69 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 2: new weights. The weight does not change its weight over time, 70 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 2: so you know, look for used weights if that's an issue, 71 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 2: and take it slow. That is my best advice. And 72 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 2: then keep a journal is always a good thing. What 73 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 2: weight you used, how long you did it for, and 74 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 2: then just build up slowly. You got anything to add 75 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 2: to that, Susan. 76 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: I do as far as the stretching, when you're flat 77 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 1: on your back and you bring your legs up, knees bent, Yeah, 78 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: press the small of your back into the floor. It's 79 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 1: a great back exercise. And it's also strengthening the floor, 80 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: which is something that I have problems with. Yeah, because 81 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 1: your core strength is everything. One of the things I 82 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: did do and didn't want to brag, but I just 83 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: downloaded and joined this tai chi and I'm going to 84 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: start for balance. Yea helps motivate me and it is 85 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: a little bit of strength. 86 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 2: But yes, so Chris. Here, the thing is, as we 87 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 2: get older, and I'm a lot older than you are, Chris, 88 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 2: we tend to lose balance. That's why people fall and 89 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 2: break hips. And so season's right. Core strength also balance balance, 90 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 2: So it all goes together. Strength training, balance, core exercises. 91 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 2: There's there's a lot you can find. 92 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: And Kathy, do you agree with this? I worked with 93 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: a trainer last year for a short time, unfortunately, because 94 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,799 Speaker 1: I started to travel again. But when I was doing 95 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: like arm curls, for instance, and your elbows are in, 96 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: she made me. 97 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 3: Goes so slow on the way down and it took 98 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 3: so much more time, but it was so much more 99 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 3: for their muscle, right, because I used to just want 100 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 3: to No, that's not how you do it. 101 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 2: So this is my life, right. I have done weight 102 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 2: since I was twenty years old, and so I know 103 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 2: the proper way to lift a weight. But that's why, Chris, 104 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 2: if you can get a trainer just one or two times, 105 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 2: it actually will cut out a lot of the mistakes 106 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 2: and the chance of you hurting yourself. And you're how 107 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 2: do I stay in such good shape? Chris? It's it's it. 108 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: She doesn't eat, she does do eat. 109 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 2: I do eat not like it? Girl, Well that may be. 110 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 2: I'm not Italian, but I work. I make a commitment, 111 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 2: Chris to work out this morning. I didn't want to 112 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: work out. We had to sit down and I had 113 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: other things I had to do. But I got up 114 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 2: early so I could go out and did and do 115 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 2: my walk. Did I do five miles today? 116 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: No? 117 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 2: I only had time to do four. It's it's the commitment. 118 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 2: I'm saying. It's the commitment to getting out and doing something. 119 00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 2: But you know what I have? 120 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: You lift Weightskathy? How many times a week? 121 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: Three times a week? Two to three two three? 122 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: Every day? 123 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 2: I walk? Okay, I walk? I walk. I would say 124 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: nine days out of ten. So you know, I'll skip 125 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 2: a day once in a while. But Chris, let us know. 126 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 2: I would love to hear back from you. You know, 127 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 2: the computer's your friend, the internet is your friend. Look 128 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: up some look up some exercises. Take your time, but 129 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 2: just commit to doing it ten minutes. You will feel better, 130 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 2: you will sleep better. Let us know how it goes 131 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 2: for you. And yeah, I'm glad I have someone who 132 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: wants to get in shape for twenty twenty six. 133 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for writing, and Chris, we wish you the best. 134 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: Let us know your progress. 135 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 2: Yep, perfect, all right. 136 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: The next one is from anonymous. First, thank you for 137 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: talking about the stuff that other podcasts don't. My question 138 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: is about my husband's adult daughter. She is a married 139 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: mother of four kids under the age of ten and 140 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: lives out of state. The issue is she calls him 141 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: all the time with reports of rashes, who ate all 142 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: their dinner, the weather, and other useless trivia. She also 143 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: texts hourly with videos and photos of her baking skills, 144 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: every activity, clips of every sports game where she is 145 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: screaming in the background, anything you can think of she's doing. 146 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: This happens constantly when my husband and I are on 147 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: vacation or at an outing. The contact doubled when we 148 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 1: were on a europe trip, ding at dinner, ding at 149 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: two am. He feels an obligation to text back if 150 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: he doesn't respond in ten minutes, she calls. I love 151 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: that they are so close, but I at times feel 152 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: like she is in our marriage. I have adult children 153 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: that I am very close to, but I don't feel 154 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: in need for more than once a day check in. 155 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 1: We are both healthy and active, so there is no 156 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: need for over concern He visits them six to seven 157 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,319 Speaker 1: times a year, and sometimes I go along. This past year, 158 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: I have made excuses as to not go because I 159 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: am starting to feel uncomfortable as their home is a 160 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: very controlling household. They are over there are over the 161 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: top rules, schedules and harsh punishments, punishments that make me cringe. 162 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: Not sure how I bring it up to him or 163 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: am I being unreasonable? I have been dealing with this 164 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 1: for over a year. Well, I feel you're paying. 165 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 2: You want to take a stab at it because this 166 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 2: is so easy for me. 167 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, I know it is for you, 168 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: what not for me? I would definitely have to bring 169 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: it up. I would try to calm myself first and 170 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: write down the important things so you're not bluttering along 171 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: and you're starting to sound like a whining complaining. That's 172 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: one of my things that I do. I go on 173 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: and on, just get the facts out that doesn't have 174 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 1: to be like this and the harsh punishments that make 175 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: you cringe. I totally get that. I have to bite 176 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:35,199 Speaker 1: my tongue sometimes until it bleeds, So I would truly 177 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: have a conversation with him, and if he's that in 178 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: love with you, and you are with him and he 179 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: wants this to work. There is no reason that she 180 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: would have to do it that many times in a day, 181 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: especially when you're on holiday. 182 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 2: Kathy, I have one word. Usually I'm the one running 183 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 2: at the mouth and you. I have one word for you, Anonymous, boundaries. 184 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 2: First of all, you are not being unreasonable, not at all. Secondly, 185 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 2: all the examples you gave one is worse than next, 186 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 2: I think, Susan, I agree on that. That's just horrible. However, 187 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 2: if your husband you said that, he feels that he 188 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 2: must respond, feels an obligation. I don't care, I don't 189 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 2: care where the mother is. He feels an obligation to 190 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 2: text back. The question you have to ask him is why, 191 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 2: Because they are adult children, and this, to me is beginning. 192 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: I don't want to sound overly dramatic, Anonymous, but you're 193 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,319 Speaker 2: not spending time with him. You're not going on the 194 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 2: trips to them to see his family, which is okay. 195 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 2: I mean that, Tara, you can go once or twice 196 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 2: of this six times he goes a year. However, if 197 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 2: he's spending more time with his kids than he is 198 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 2: with you, that's another issue you need to I would 199 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 2: encourage you. Again, I'm not a therapist, but I would 200 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: encourage you guys to get into therapy because he needs 201 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 2: to learn that you are his priority and that he 202 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 2: can love his children. But they are adults and they 203 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 2: get to live their lives. They doesn't mean that he 204 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 2: needs to hear every dot and dash of their lives. 205 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: So I would encourage you to get some help because 206 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: clearly if you haven't brought well first of all, Susan's right, 207 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 2: bring it up to him first. See if he's what. 208 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: You're going Yeah, yeah, just say Kathy, I wonder is 209 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: there not a mom? Maybe she passed, that's why she 210 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: depends solely on the day. I don't care, But there's 211 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: a fine line. And what about her husband? The girl's husband. 212 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: Talk to him, your dad. You don't need to talk 213 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: to him two times a day. 214 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 2: She is a married mother of four kids. She isn't 215 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: about I don't care. If there's a mother a step mother. 216 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: Usually they call the mom for these things. 217 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 2: But see the mom this. You could turn this whole 218 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 2: question around. It could be the husband writing in that 219 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 2: she calls her mom. You see, that's still wrong. It's wrong. 220 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 2: It is wrong. You have every right anonymous, to expect 221 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,959 Speaker 2: that your husband will put you first in his life. 222 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 2: That isn't to say he won't chat with his kids 223 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 2: occasionally once a day, even send them gifts up. I 224 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 2: think you know what he says. 225 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: Great, and if something exciting is happening and she shoots 226 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: over the video, okay, great, but it's not every. 227 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,319 Speaker 2: Day, and it's not more than once a day, and 228 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 2: it's not all these things. I think this is something 229 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 2: Anonymous that you should try to talk to me about. 230 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: But I'm guessing you might need to have some counseling 231 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 2: here with your husband. And like I said, I'm not 232 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 2: a therapist, but because. 233 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: He might be blind to the fact that you're bothered 234 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 1: by it, someone has to bring it to his attention. 235 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: That's right. 236 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: The first step. 237 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 2: Well, she says she's been dealing with it for every year, 238 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 2: but she hasn't said any You haven't said anything, so 239 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 2: you know, I think I think you listen, Anonymous. Men 240 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 2: are a lot of things clueless. One things that well, 241 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 2: they may be clueless, but one thing they are not 242 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 2: is mind readers. Helen what's on your mind and then 243 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 2: take it from there and see what other steps you 244 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 2: might need to take. And let us starting on. 245 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: Let us know, wish you lucky because I get it. 246 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 2: I love you, I love Susan says start softly, I'd 247 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 2: be in there ranting. All right, let's move on. But 248 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 2: let us know, Anonymous, seriously, we wish the best for you, 249 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: Elizabeth writes, Hi, Kathy and Susan, you guys give such 250 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 2: good advice. Well, thank you, Elizabeth, hoping you have something 251 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 2: good for me. I am engaged in getting married soon. 252 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 2: I have an engagement ring, but I never wear it 253 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 2: because I just don't like wearing jewelry. Well, I'm not 254 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 2: even going to read on, Elizabeth, send it to me. 255 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 2: I'll be happy to wear it for you. Okay, I 256 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: don't think that's your question though, all right. I also 257 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 2: don't want to feel like I have to wear a 258 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 2: wedding ring. It's nothing personal. I just am not a 259 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 2: jewelry girl. My fiancee does not have any problem with this, 260 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 2: but here we go. But my family and friends seem 261 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 2: to think it's weird and disrespectful to marriage. Is it 262 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 2: really that big of a deal, what says you, Susan. 263 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, why did you let him 264 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: waste his money on a diamond? If you don't like jewelry. 265 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: A simple band would have been good too, write but 266 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 1: there's something to be said when you're married, you need 267 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 1: I like the idea of wearing a ring. 268 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 2: That's you do. I think, okay, it's to. 269 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: Each his own. If you don't want to, you don't 270 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 1: have to. 271 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 2: That's where I am. Hey, Susan. And as far as 272 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: your friends are concerned, Elizabeth and your family, last time 273 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 2: I looked, you're marrying him, not your friends or your family. 274 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 2: So there's that. But here's what I would say. We 275 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 2: all know lots of men and women who wear wedding 276 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 2: rings and diamond rings with their wedding rings, who cheat 277 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 2: on their husbands, cheat on their wives. So the ring, 278 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 2: while it is a symbol of unity and commitment, we 279 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 2: all know that it doesn't always turn out that way, right. 280 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 2: So I would say, Elizabeth, you seem like a woman 281 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 2: who is looking forward to being married and loves the 282 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: idea of marriage. And I don't hear anything here that 283 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 2: you're not sure you want to marry the guy. So 284 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 2: as far as I'm concerned, if you are in a 285 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 2: committed relationship and you are partners in this marriage, I 286 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 2: don't care if you wear a straw wrapped around your finger, 287 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 2: a diamond ring, or no ring at all. It's a symbol. 288 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,160 Speaker 2: It is not the marriage. It is a symbol. If 289 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 2: you don't like the symbol, you know, do what I did. 290 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 2: Get your hair dyed black. That can be your symbol 291 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 2: of marriage. 292 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: No, Elizabeth, just do one thing for everyone. When you 293 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 1: do say your vows, wear the ring. If you don't 294 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: want to wear it afterwards, you don't have to. I 295 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: don't care what your family. 296 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,680 Speaker 2: Why does she have to wear it? 297 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 1: It's part of the ceremony count. 298 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be. 299 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: It's a symbol that they each put on that the wearer. 300 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,959 Speaker 2: That's that's just Hey, you and I can argue this 301 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 2: all day long. There's nothing. 302 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: You can have your hands tied in the symbol. 303 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,919 Speaker 2: There's enoughing I do. They can do that. I know 304 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 2: you do. But there's no law that says you have 305 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 2: to put away ring on for your wedding. You can. 306 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 2: You don't have to say anything. You don't have to 307 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: say you are going to honor and all that. You 308 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:06,199 Speaker 2: don't have to do. 309 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: She's what I got out of it. You need a 310 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:14,360 Speaker 1: marriage like he just doesn't like wearing jewelry, but appease 311 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,679 Speaker 1: everybody for the ceremony. You wear it, people look at it, 312 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 1: and when you're done, you're on your own. 313 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 2: You wearing They are so different. 314 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: A lot of men don't wear wedding bits because of 315 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 1: their work where they're. 316 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 2: Or they just don't like wearing them. 317 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: Sometimes they don't. 318 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,479 Speaker 2: So who cares? You and I are here. We are 319 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: a first fight of twenty twenty six. 320 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: This is not a fight. 321 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,959 Speaker 2: No, you know what I'm saying. Our first disagreement. You 322 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 2: do not have to wear a ring at the ceremony, Elizabeth. 323 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 2: You don't have to wear the diamond at the ceremony. 324 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 2: You don't have to do anything with it. You can 325 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 2: keep it and if you have children, see if they 326 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:53,199 Speaker 2: want it. Sunday. I believe marriage is not about symbols. 327 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 2: Marriage is about partnership and commitment and a ring and 328 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 2: a ring is not that. So if you don't want 329 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 2: to wear it, don't wear it. It's not a big deal. 330 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 2: Don't get married. And if you don't want to, don't 331 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 2: have rings, don't do it. If you don't want it, 332 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 2: don't do it. Tell however, well, she has the diamond ring. 333 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 2: She has the diamond ring. But she does not have 334 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 2: a wed. Okay, Susan says, where to the ceremony because 335 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 2: Susan performs ceremonies and wants that. 336 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 1: And then you could put it in a safe and 337 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: you know. 338 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 2: Whatever, it's fine. 339 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,679 Speaker 1: It's her. I can say, your life, your marriage, your man. 340 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 2: And don't let your friends and family tell you what 341 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 2: to do. It's your day, it's your marriage, it's your life. 342 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 2: And may I also say I wish I had Elizabeth's problem. Hey, 343 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 2: would you wait if I called you up? Wait if 344 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: I called you up and said, Susan, I've got these 345 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: gorgeous diamond ring from whoever. 346 00:19:54,480 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't give it to or 347 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: have it made into something else. But she doesn't like 348 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: jewelry at all. But let's reflect for a second on 349 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:11,640 Speaker 1: the last three notes that we received. The first one, 350 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: it's about getting healthy, it's about lits in weight, it's 351 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: doing good for yourself right. 352 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 2: And it's and it is a perfect time for everyone. 353 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,959 Speaker 2: You and I think about it. 354 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: I hope ours are. 355 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,959 Speaker 2: Are thinking how they can make their lives. So I 356 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 2: love that Chris wrote in because that shows that people 357 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 2: she hopefully symbolizes a lot of people who are thinking 358 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 2: about making their lives better. I know you and I 359 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 2: are trying to. 360 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: And then the one that's sticking in my crawl is 361 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:49,679 Speaker 1: is those kids. That daughter. I want to call her Kathy, Seriously, what. 362 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 2: Can you do, Susan? You know me so well. 363 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: She would just like that and it's over you just boom. 364 00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: I'm not accepting it. 365 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 2: I would say to him, forget it, You're not doing this. 366 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,639 Speaker 2: You're not doing this. You can you can choose. 367 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 1: So you would give him an ultimatum. 368 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,880 Speaker 2: Now at the beginning, I would say, I would start 369 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,880 Speaker 2: with tiny steps. You're turning your phone off and you're 370 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: going to tell her you are going to have the conversation. 371 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 2: Do you want to be with me? This is a 372 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 2: conversation I would have. Do you let's call him John, John? 373 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,679 Speaker 2: Do you want to be with me? Do you love me? 374 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 2: Because I love you and I love our life together. 375 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 2: What I don't love is feeling like your daughter and 376 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 2: her children are in our marriage. It's excessive. So are 377 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: you willing to have a conversation with her? Do you 378 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 2: think it's excessive? Would be my first question. If he 379 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 2: said no, I think it's fine. We're probably not going 380 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,360 Speaker 2: to make it. If he thinks that's normal, we're done. 381 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 2: I mean, seriously, that's my fear. 382 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: Does he well, then that's normal. 383 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,919 Speaker 2: Well, but if he does, you're not going to change him. 384 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 2: If he doesn't want to change. That's the thing that 385 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 2: we Susan pay attention. We don't change people. We accept 386 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 2: people for who they are, and we either stick around 387 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 2: or we take a high. 388 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: And what happens is is it okay with you who 389 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 1: they are? Of course, you accept anybody for who they are, 390 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 1: but when it involves you, yes, are you okay with 391 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 1: who they are? 392 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: And I think Anonymous is nervous, maybe that he is 393 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 2: okay with her daughter, his daughter contacting her sixty four 394 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,880 Speaker 2: times a day, and she does. I think that's why 395 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 2: she hasn't had the conversation. 396 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: She said, I'm not sure how I bring it up 397 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: to him. Well, we're going to tell you a couple 398 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: of different ways that you're going to bring it up. 399 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: The first one for me is when you're about to 400 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 1: take a trip, whether you're in Europe or you're down 401 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: the street at a hotel, I don't care where you are, 402 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: what country you're at, you have that conversation before you leave, Sweetie, 403 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: let your daughter. No, we're going on holiday, and you 404 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: will not be answering every single solitary text message. It's 405 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 1: too much. 406 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 2: I disagree with you because you because of what I 407 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 2: said to her earlier. He this is you being control person. 408 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 2: He has to not want it. You cannot legislate change. 409 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: You can't make him not want it. They've got to 410 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: make some kind of an arrangement. 411 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,880 Speaker 2: No, no, no, this is what I'm saying. She Anonymous 412 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 2: cannot legislate and tell her husband. You're going to tell 413 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 2: your daughter this, This a B and C. That's why 414 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 2: I said the first question Anonymous needs to ask him 415 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: is are you willing to make a change. I think 416 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 2: this is excessive. Are you willing to make changes? 417 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: Well, yes, yes, of course that you have to have 418 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: the conversation. But she's going to be a little bit 419 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: lean yet because she's in love with her husband. She's saying, 420 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: am I being unreasonable? You're not being unreasonable. You need 421 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 1: that conversation like we talked about, and reminder before you 422 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: go on a trip. 423 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 2: But I'm saying I don't think you're hearing me. You're 424 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 2: saying Anonymous needs to tell him. I'm saying the no, 425 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: that's that's controlling his life. 426 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,360 Speaker 1: What tell him that it upsets her? I'm telling him 427 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,120 Speaker 1: how to do it. 428 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 2: You said, tell her to tell the daughter. 429 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: Tell the daughter we are going on vacation. You will 430 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: not be answering that. 431 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 2: Telling him how to do it, I'm saying. I'm saying, 432 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 2: you can't tell a man your partner and have a 433 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 2: good outcome if he doesn't want to change it. 434 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: So after their conversation, the beginning conversation that we both agreed. 435 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 2: Upon, Yeah, I'm saying, if he isn't willing, I would 436 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 2: try therapy. After you approach, after you broach you with him, 437 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 2: try a couple's therapy and see if you can get 438 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 2: some leeway. 439 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: But this, for me, do you think that would actually do? Kathy? 440 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: Couple start, see if a therapist could get him to 441 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 2: see how unrealistic and frankly insane this kind of behavior. 442 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 2: I got, I got it. I've got a couple others 443 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:18,880 Speaker 2: that I want to go. Susan, do you remember when 444 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 2: we did in one of our episodes about anonymous confessions, 445 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 2: and we read some of them. We didn't have time 446 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 2: to do them. All Right, We've got a few more here. 447 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 2: Let's do another round of anonymous all right, and these 448 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 2: come from Instagram, So these really happened. Okay. I once 449 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 2: dated two people at the same time and accidentally scheduled 450 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 2: dates at the same restaurant out on the same night. 451 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: I cancel both. 452 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 2: I don't know, I mean that would I mean I've 453 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 2: done I've scheduled two dates before, but not at the 454 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,800 Speaker 2: same restaurant at this on the same night, at the 455 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 2: same time like that. Whoever you know, Instagram person, that 456 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 2: is an amazing confession. I think you need to get 457 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 2: a little black book, bells and chimes on your cell 458 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 2: phone do something, because that's like that. That could be 459 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:17,200 Speaker 2: deadly right. 460 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 1: Have you evergot I couldn't do it. 461 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 2: No, you've never done. Have you ever had two dates 462 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 2: in one day? 463 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 1: No? Well yes, but two meetings in one day, not dates. 464 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: Like when I was on social media dating. I would 465 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: go meet somebody for a cup of coffee or a 466 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,400 Speaker 1: bless of wine. And I did one in the afternoon 467 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: one time and one in the evening one time. 468 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 2: But that yeah, all right, all right? What about this one? 469 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 2: I stayed in a relationship way longer than I should 470 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 2: have because I liked his dog more than him. 471 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 1: That's terrible. 472 00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 2: So can I just say a lot of And I've 473 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,320 Speaker 2: talked to you about this, Susan. They have dogs, and 474 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 2: their dogs come before me, which is like, I'm out 475 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,119 Speaker 2: the door. I don't think I could you stay in 476 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 2: a relationship where you liked it because I like the 477 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 2: dog well, or the or their daughter or something. You know, 478 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 2: you like the kid or the. 479 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: How about I told my friends and family we broke 480 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 1: up mutually when I was very much don't. 481 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 2: I think a lot of people do that, Yeah, to 482 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,480 Speaker 2: save yourself. I mean I think a lot, but I 483 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 2: I you know, you know, in my middle year now, 484 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 2: it's usually we me like she feels. 485 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 1: Something really dumped my ass. 486 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 2: I think people. I think people the younger day. Wait, 487 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,880 Speaker 2: younger people are not worried about it. They're gonna say 488 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,400 Speaker 2: he dumped me. I do. I think for the most part. 489 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I found out my boyfriend and was cheating from 490 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: his demo transactions with a girl. Huh. You know what 491 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 1: you say to that? 492 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 2: I can say, tell you what I say from that. 493 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 2: She was in his phone. She was in his phone. Yes, 494 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,439 Speaker 2: she was so so to that young lady. 495 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 1: I would say no sometimes demo, no no, no, no, no, 496 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: she didn't have to be on his phone. Demo shows 497 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,439 Speaker 1: unless you hit private. I see all kinds of people 498 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: paying people. Oh okay, I know that for a fact. 499 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 2: That's public. All right, how about this one? I google 500 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: this one? See the people? 501 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: Wait, no, I want to know what would you do 502 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 1: with that? If you saw that he was the same 503 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: girl over and over that well, wait, why would he 504 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,479 Speaker 1: be giving her money? 505 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 2: You know what I would do? I would ask him, hey, 506 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 2: I saw eighty four transaction transactions for ten ninety five. 507 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,920 Speaker 2: If you know is it? Was it a cheap date? 508 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 2: Or you know? I would ask him what is going on? 509 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: Why would it be ven moing? Why would he be 510 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 1: ven moing it? 511 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 2: Maybe? You know what, It might be completely innocent. 512 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: It might since I've found out he was cheating. 513 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 2: No, no, no, she's saying because he's sending money. So 514 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 2: she's talking. I think this person from Instagram cheating means 515 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,560 Speaker 2: he's con having contact with the girl. It might be 516 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 2: his barber, might be a female. It might be a 517 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 2: dog walker. You know who knows. But I would ask 518 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 2: you asked me? I would ask all right, this happened this. 519 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 2: I've known a lot of people I stayed with someone 520 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 2: because we'd already booked a trip together. Yeah, I actually, 521 00:29:54,600 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 2: I've actually I've actually known people who did that, who 522 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 2: booked a trip together. 523 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: It was over. 524 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so god that that would be a lousy trip. Okay, 525 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: I've here, go ahead, you have one. 526 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I once broke up with someone and then immediately 527 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,479 Speaker 1: hooked up with their friend. 528 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 2: No, well, that's that's bad code. You know, that's just 529 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 2: not Yeah, I I I don't think I would be 530 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 2: doing that. I'm kindles on that one. I mean, you 531 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 2: know what that gets down to, talking about what kind 532 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 2: of integrity you have? You know, that's like, that's just 533 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 2: bad code. 534 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 1: What about I told someone I loved them back at 535 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: of pure panic even though I wasn't in love yet. 536 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,840 Speaker 2: I think that happens a lot too. 537 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: I feel like put on the spot or something. 538 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I think so, I don't 539 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 2: know how can I answer. I think that sometimes maybe 540 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 2: people are afraid of losing the person before they know 541 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 2: whether they want them in their life or not, so 542 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 2: they say I'm in love. I don't know. I haven't 543 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,479 Speaker 2: done it, but I feel sorry for people who get 544 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 2: themselves in these fixes. It's hard to get out of. 545 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 2: How about this one? I googled. I might have been 546 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 2: guilty of this a few times. I googled my date 547 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 2: so deeply that I knew his cousin's wedding location before 548 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 2: we met, and accidentally let it flip on the date. 549 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 2: I've never done that, but I have googled my dates. 550 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:49,120 Speaker 2: Oh yes, and find out some very interesting things. I 551 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 2: might answer, Oh God, have you ever done that? Have 552 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 2: you ever done that? Googled a date? 553 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,719 Speaker 1: I think I've asked you to google somebody before. 554 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,240 Speaker 2: That way, I have to tell you I have a friend. 555 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to be very very secretive here. I have 556 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 2: a friend who has admitted I shouldn't say this. Never mind, 557 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 2: nobody will, They'll say nobody. Let's just say I have access. 558 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: Okay. I broke up with someone via text and then 559 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:23,280 Speaker 1: run into them twenty minutes later. Ah, that sucks. 560 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 2: Let me think. Let me think. 561 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: That just sucks. You broke up with them via text, Okay, 562 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: then you run into them. 563 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 2: Well you know what, you know, that's the dating God 564 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 2: saying you should never break up over text. That's what 565 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 2: that's saying. Don't break up over text, do it in person, 566 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: and then when you bump into them, you can say 567 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 2: can we just be friends. Okay, wait, let's can you 568 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 2: make up for that? Wait, I want to make up 569 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 2: one that would be so crazy. I'm going to do that. 570 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,400 Speaker 2: I'm going to come up with one. I can't do 571 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 2: it right now, but I am definitely going to come 572 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 2: up with one that I would have put on my Instagram. 573 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 1: And your best one ever was on your show, Kathy 574 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: when you said I once slept with another man while 575 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 1: my husband was sleeping. 576 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 2: I didn't say husband, I said partner. Anyway, Yeah, that 577 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 2: was That was one of my final moments. All right, all. 578 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: Right, Well that was a lot of fun. And thank 579 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 1: you so much to all our listeners. We hope you 580 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: enjoyed it and got to kick out of it, like. 581 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 2: You know, I would love you. Gotta go, We gotta go. 582 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 2: But I would love to just sit on Instagram and 583 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 2: find out some more embarrassing moments for people. 584 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: No, seriously, though, to all our listeners and a lot 585 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: of you write me and I do appreciate it. I 586 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,479 Speaker 1: want to know what you think about the woman whose 587 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 1: husband's daughter blows his phone up. Seriously, I need a 588 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 1: people Paul on this one. 589 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 2: Let us let me just tell you something. This is 590 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 2: gonna this is gonna be in Susan's mind. We're gonna 591 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 2: finish this podcast. She's gonna call me and say, can 592 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 2: you But I already know where this is going. I 593 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 2: told you. 594 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: Everybody agreed. 595 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 2: That's right. Well, in the meantime, be sure to follow 596 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 2: Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out 597 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,879 Speaker 2: every week and you don't want to miss even one. 598 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 1: Absolutely not, and make sure they listen to Bachelor Happy 599 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you 600 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,640 Speaker 1: listen to your podcast. And until next time, Kathy and 601 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 1: I sign it off.