Speaker 1: Find Down podcast. You're about to start your movie. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited. I'm excited for you. Thanks, I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of you. Thank you. I when I got the offer, I, um,
Speaker 1: I looked at it and I started crying because I
Speaker 1: was like, Nope, good things don't happen, not this year,
Speaker 1: not this year. Satan and nice spam that you set
Speaker 1: me straight to straight to trash nice try. And I
Speaker 1: saw Nashville, I was like, Oh, someone's being dirty with me.
Speaker 1: They're really going the extra mile to mess with me.
Speaker 1: Someone's really not being nice to me right now. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, it's super excited. It's we're filming a
Speaker 1: little a little north west of town. But I'm so bumped.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but I got my COVID testing the other
Speaker 1: day and we have to get it like every other day.
Speaker 1: So I'm just a lot of sticks up your nose.
Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. How are you are you? Are
Speaker 1: you excited to be the man of the month? Mr Mom? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: That's where I do best more than Mr Mom, I
Speaker 1: know that. But anyways, more importantly, I've had this topic
Speaker 1: on my brain for the last week. Wait time out,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Should we introduce Eastern and Danielle because they're back.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we have to Easton Hi, and Danielle is
Speaker 1: now going to be hopefully with us as well. Say
Speaker 1: hello Danielle. Okay, so I don't know what Mike is
Speaker 1: going to say, so please enlighten all of us. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a conversation for all of us. Okay. And
Speaker 1: it came up when I was at my my buddy's
Speaker 1: bachelor party a weekend ago or two weekends ago, I
Speaker 1: guess now, and that we're sitting around a fire one
Speaker 1: night at Smokers are Go are having a drink and
Speaker 1: alien the aliens. The topic of aliens came up, Aliens,
Speaker 1: aliens and it I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. I'm
Speaker 1: not really not really, no, but when it comes to aliens,
Speaker 1: those mother efforts exist in my mind. Okay, there's not.
Speaker 1: And I've been going deep into podcasts like Joe Rogan had,
Speaker 1: this guy, George Knapp, and Jeremy Corbell. Okay, I just
Speaker 1: started watching the Bob Bazar Netflix documentary that Jamie Corbell
Speaker 1: is the director, producer, and writer on and this guy
Speaker 1: Bob Blazar who in the eighties basically blew the whistle
Speaker 1: on areaft one like he exposed it. Yeah, essentially he
Speaker 1: worked at this place. Essentially, give me all the facts
Speaker 1: we need. I'm still learning all the facts on worked
Speaker 1: at this place called S four Site four, which was
Speaker 1: like an area fifty one, like an unknown government site
Speaker 1: in north of Vegas and Nevada. Okay. He said that
Speaker 1: at us for they had nine UFOs spaceships essentially saucers. Okay,
Speaker 1: some were were functional, others were bits and pieces. His
Speaker 1: soul jobs, so they compartmentalized the people working on these things.
Speaker 1: His soul job was to work on the propulsion and
Speaker 1: basically reverse engineer the propulsion mechanism that these UFOs used
Speaker 1: to fly. Question, were there aliens inside the like? Did
Speaker 1: he see aliens inside the uf He just saw the
Speaker 1: flying there. He just saw them in the base and
Speaker 1: he worked on them. Okay, But the people who worked
Speaker 1: on propulsion couldn't talk to the people that worked on
Speaker 1: the electronics. That couldn't talk to the people that worked
Speaker 1: on whatever. So they kept them all very compartmentalized. So basically,
Speaker 1: I'm still again, I'm still learning about all of this
Speaker 1: and like how deep it goes? But he said that
Speaker 1: it couldn't be anything that the technology didn't exist for
Speaker 1: us to have it. So it's not like hours and
Speaker 1: we just haven't released the technology. It's not Russia's and
Speaker 1: they just haven't released the technology. Is a physical impossibility
Speaker 1: for us to have this technology because we can't even
Speaker 1: replicate it yet. So anyways, this just gives me on
Speaker 1: my whole gets me going down a wormhole of just
Speaker 1: aliens and do they exist? And you know, you said
Speaker 1: the point that I said to my buddies last weekend,
Speaker 1: which is great. It's like, at this point I almost
Speaker 1: want the government to come out and just just tell
Speaker 1: us or maybe that we even get invaded by aliens,
Speaker 1: because what listen to me for a second, what better Okay,
Speaker 1: we've had, we've had all, you know, but you know
Speaker 1: the Black Lives matters. Um, we've got COVID, we've got
Speaker 1: everything else as well. Invadeus aliens, if you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: picking up our first asking, invaded by Look, I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: what better to unite this left up world right now
Speaker 1: than us realizing that we're not alone and actually we
Speaker 1: are all the same. If we learned, if we learned
Speaker 1: of extraterrestrials, now we're not alone, it would you. It
Speaker 1: would have to unite us. That's what I said. I
Speaker 1: was like, I would hope that it will unite us.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. And that's why I'm so happy
Speaker 1: when you said that, because I was like, that was
Speaker 1: my exact point to all my buddies. I was like,
Speaker 1: I would really hope that that could unice. If that
Speaker 1: couldn't unite, we're screwed. We got no shot. Do you
Speaker 1: think they have aliens? Remember in Independence Daily? Do you
Speaker 1: think there's aliens in the those little capsule things? Look
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is the general physical description or image
Speaker 1: of an alien fairly similar. Now granted, in movies nowadays
Speaker 1: they're kind of getting a little crazy with what they
Speaker 1: look like, but over the years, they've all been fairly similar.
Speaker 1: Do you think someone just just came up with that
Speaker 1: idea like the big head and big eyes one day
Speaker 1: or did they see it and that's what inspired them
Speaker 1: to start creating them that way? Eastern? Do you believe
Speaker 1: in aliens? I I just watched E T for the
Speaker 1: first time last night, and that got me thinking I
Speaker 1: believe in them. I don't know. I've been reading a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff about how like there are extraterrestrial life
Speaker 1: forms here, but they're probably like microscopic and it's like
Speaker 1: bacteria and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't count. It's boring.
Speaker 1: I want stuff to fly spaceships, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've watched the Ancient Alien Show a couple of times,
Speaker 1: and uh, that I find extremely problematic. It's like, he can't.
Speaker 1: Can't people just have built the pyramids? But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like they've probably shown up at some point
Speaker 1: and then bailed because we're such a low life form. Um.
Speaker 1: But you know, there's and again talking about movies, there's
Speaker 1: a movie called Contact, and they had a quote in
Speaker 1: that movie that if you look up out in the
Speaker 1: night sky and see all those planets, it would be
Speaker 1: such a waste of universe to only have humans. You know,
Speaker 1: so it got be something exactly, it'd be it'd be
Speaker 1: a crazy theory to think that we're alone. It would
Speaker 1: be appropriate that Earth things would be so narcissistic, narcissistic
Speaker 1: that we're like, not, we're the only ones, We're the best. Um.
Speaker 1: Danielle Girls perspective. Do you believe in aliens? There's a
Speaker 1: whole galaxy out there and we haven't even explored every
Speaker 1: part of it, like the corpse there are Do you
Speaker 1: think there's humans on other planets like light years away?
Speaker 1: I don't think humans. I don't think people that are
Speaker 1: exactly like us. But I feel like the other planets
Speaker 1: have their own version of a human that's so crazy
Speaker 1: and like those other humans and the other planets are
Speaker 1: like I wonder if there's other people like us, you know.
Speaker 1: I just want to know. Do you think the president
Speaker 1: knows or people in the office to know if there's
Speaker 1: a their life out there, like someone in NASA knows,
Speaker 1: you know, like somebody somebody in that organization definitely knows.
Speaker 1: I bet you the president has, like some he has
Speaker 1: to have some kind of Intel's the first thing I
Speaker 1: want to ask if I was president. The first thing, No,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't care about anything else. First debriefing. All right,
Speaker 1: are the aliens Bob aliens? Yes? Or no? No? Take
Speaker 1: me to area, get Air Force one up here. Let's go.
Speaker 1: Maybe like sir, there is no aliens. What you're lying
Speaker 1: to me? Someone makes me? Yeah, No, that would be
Speaker 1: I think I do believe in abductions. That's an interesting one.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't believe in that. No, no,
Speaker 1: I don't believe that people are getting but probed and
Speaker 1: all that. I don't know. Maybe that's how humans learned
Speaker 1: about an a sex who knows he's And you're about
Speaker 1: to say something, did you get but probed? Uh? Well, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, we all have wish lists and dreams and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. We can all we can all hope.
Speaker 1: I just watched and that there's that new Unsolved Mysteries
Speaker 1: on Netflix. Um and did they did? It's pretty good? Uh,
Speaker 1: the old one got crazier. But they did a thing
Speaker 1: about aliens. And there was a case in the seventies
Speaker 1: where in like um, I think it was Ohio, and
Speaker 1: like an alien craft allegedly entered the atmosphere and like
Speaker 1: there was like four different people in this county that
Speaker 1: all saw the same thing, but they didn't know each
Speaker 1: other and they were like miles apart. So that got
Speaker 1: me thinking, and I was like, oh man, maybe that
Speaker 1: maybe that's real. But then like we did you know,
Speaker 1: my wife and did some research and one of the
Speaker 1: other guys has had a lot of alien encounters, and
Speaker 1: sometimes I think like, okay, well maybe this guy exactly
Speaker 1: exactly like he he claimed he had been brought aboard
Speaker 1: and like experimented on and stuff like that. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I feel like if they're gonna abduct people,
Speaker 1: they'll probably just kill them when they're done, you know, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna like abduct people and put
Speaker 1: them back. Like I know that's kind of harsh, but
Speaker 1: that's just if I'm being pragmatic. I think that's what
Speaker 1: would happen. Yeah, I feel like that's that objections are
Speaker 1: a little movie e scwed. But I do believe that
Speaker 1: there is life out there. I do believe. I believe
Speaker 1: in ghosts. I believe in supernatural. I believe in all that.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in ghosts? Defined I believe in spirits.
Speaker 1: Do you believe that something could be haunted by a spirit,
Speaker 1: because in a sense, that's a ghost, right, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: say that counts. Yeah, as much as that scares me? No,
Speaker 1: what like you don't believe in it? Like scary movies
Speaker 1: like ghost movies like that stuff will scare me only
Speaker 1: goes to jumpy. But no, I'm want to haunt your
Speaker 1: asked if I die for you, then I will if
Speaker 1: you die before me, I will believe in guests. Oh
Speaker 1: you better believe it. When you go sip a water,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna smack it out of your you're go on
Speaker 1: a date, I'm gonna trip. You made me look like,
Speaker 1: pull out my chair from under me. I'm gonna really
Speaker 1: off with you, all right, Patrick Swayze, Oh that'd be fun. Um, Okay,
Speaker 1: I know we got a little off topic, but that
Speaker 1: was a great one. And we don't even know what
Speaker 1: topic we were on with that. Just aliens, it's just
Speaker 1: you can go down a rabbit hole. Oh it's so
Speaker 1: good though. Um. But we have um, Sarah Landry who's
Speaker 1: coming on the show today and um, she's beautiful, she's
Speaker 1: very body positive, inspirational story. Yeah, very inspirational story. And yeah,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna have her on, but let's first take
Speaker 1: a break. Sarah, Hi, how are you? I'm Janna. This
Speaker 1: is my husband Michael. Um. You guys so excited we
Speaker 1: have Sarah Landry joining us on Wine Down. Sarah. I've
Speaker 1: been stalking you on Instagram for quite some time. Really
Speaker 1: get out, really just love you awesome. I love a
Speaker 1: good online crush. Like do you ever go down that
Speaker 1: where you like find somebody or like I need to
Speaker 1: I need to unpack everything and you just go so
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, you're like, now it's gotten
Speaker 1: awkward because you get that to that point where you
Speaker 1: accidentally likes something from like three years ago. Yeah, been there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I've been doing deep because it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I've I've definitely um seen you on some of my
Speaker 1: other friends podcasts and I was like, oh, like what's
Speaker 1: her situation. She's beautiful and I want to know more
Speaker 1: about you and UM and and then I kind of
Speaker 1: started to like deep dive and we'll first of all,
Speaker 1: congratulations because you're pregnant, Thank you, But why don't you
Speaker 1: fill in um our our listeners kind of your journey
Speaker 1: because you also have a podcast as well. But you
Speaker 1: know you're just you're very body positive. UM. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you for that, and I also appreciate to something that
Speaker 1: I've learned from my stocking is you know you you're divorced,
Speaker 1: and how you almost didn't think that you were worthy
Speaker 1: of love UM after that, and I just I love
Speaker 1: just kind of the journey that you've been on to
Speaker 1: now this what seems like an Instagram perfect relationship, so
Speaker 1: I know that it probably is just so perfect, right, oh, always,
Speaker 1: aren't They all are all relationships like permanent honeymoon. No,
Speaker 1: But like that's it's kind of funny because I actually
Speaker 1: do really love social media now. I have my moments
Speaker 1: with it, like any relationship. But I started twelve years
Speaker 1: ago blogging in the pits of motherhood. I had two toddlers,
Speaker 1: I was living six hours away from my family, and
Speaker 1: I felt isolate did and blogs started to become this thing,
Speaker 1: and I really started to get feeling like I wasn't
Speaker 1: so alone, And it was just by connecting with other stories,
Speaker 1: by seeing other women do these things. But it was
Speaker 1: always about your houses and about your kids and all
Speaker 1: of these things around you. It wasn't really about us yet.
Speaker 1: And then Instagram happened and I was now three times postpartum.
Speaker 1: I've been overweight since I was twelve, so all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, these selfies that everyone was doing was highly
Speaker 1: uncomfortable for me, and I didn't want people to see
Speaker 1: my body. I had done a very good job at
Speaker 1: like hiding myself behind my kids in almost every existence
Speaker 1: I could, so when Instagram came about and that started
Speaker 1: to be a thing, my answer to it was, well,
Speaker 1: I'll just lose weight and then I'll feel better about myself.
Speaker 1: That's the story we're sold, and that's the story that
Speaker 1: seems to be perpetuated from my entire life. And I
Speaker 1: think I didn't realize that this is stuffing. A lot
Speaker 1: of people have experienced that we always just assume to
Speaker 1: be in a thin body is to be in a
Speaker 1: happy body, is to be in a happy relationship with yourself.
Speaker 1: But I didn't have access to proper nutritional guidance. I
Speaker 1: didn't have a gym membership or anybody kind of guiding
Speaker 1: me in a fitness journey. I had no money, I
Speaker 1: had no access to a second vehicle. I was a
Speaker 1: stay at home mom of now three kids, and all
Speaker 1: I could do was download an app which told me
Speaker 1: to eat what basically a toddler should eat, and to
Speaker 1: exercise as much as I possibly could. So when I
Speaker 1: started to lose weight, Instagram loved me for it, and
Speaker 1: I was so celebrated for it. And I ended up
Speaker 1: losing a hundred pounds quite rapidly, and it was and
Speaker 1: I was so so proud of that. But there was
Speaker 1: this dark cloud kind of around all of it, because,
Speaker 1: first of all, this picture perfect home that I was
Speaker 1: talking about in this family I was showing was actually crumbling.
Speaker 1: We were about to get divorced after eleven years. I
Speaker 1: was moved into my mom's house, my mom and dad's house.
Speaker 1: So living with your parents at thirty, with three kids,
Speaker 1: no job, no money, I didn't even have my own
Speaker 1: bank account. And guess what, I've now lost over a
Speaker 1: hundred pounds. I'm underweight, I'm struggling with disordered eating, and
Speaker 1: I'm still anxious about my body. I still don't love
Speaker 1: my body. I still am in this place where I'm
Speaker 1: hiding behind my kids and pictures, where I'm not wanting
Speaker 1: to go out and exist in the world because of
Speaker 1: my body. And so it was kind of at the
Speaker 1: rock bottom of things. And while people are often like
Speaker 1: you hear rock bottom and it sounds like the worst
Speaker 1: thing ever, I kind of looked at it like there's
Speaker 1: only one way up. This is a complete rebuild, and
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to do this entirely different than what
Speaker 1: I've done before. I'm gonna have to actually learn how
Speaker 1: to eat to nourish my body. I'm gonna learn how
Speaker 1: to love my body in a way that is in
Speaker 1: action and not in feeling. And I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: start going through life in this really vulnerable way. And
Speaker 1: I started showing up as that online and everything kind
Speaker 1: of went from there. So, yeah, where are you at
Speaker 1: now with UM? With you know now that you're pregnant
Speaker 1: or do you is it something? Where did you obsess
Speaker 1: about your weight? Or was it this? Was it the food?
Speaker 1: Or what what made you? Um? What did you do
Speaker 1: when you went down that path? It was weird because
Speaker 1: I probably should have gotten some proper help, but I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit of a d I wire this way,
Speaker 1: and that had been what I kept doing, And I, honestly,
Speaker 1: at the time, didn't really have the money. I was
Speaker 1: going through a divorce. All my money was going to
Speaker 1: a divorce and to rebuilding my life. To think of
Speaker 1: paying for caring for myself on top of that wasn't
Speaker 1: something that I even explored. But through enough conversations I
Speaker 1: realized that even if I wasn't ever formally diagnosed with
Speaker 1: an eating disorder, I knew what I was doing was wrong.
Speaker 1: I knew that the only reason I was ever exercising
Speaker 1: was because I was trying to burn off something I ate.
Speaker 1: I never had this attitude around food where I felt
Speaker 1: safe with it. I always felt scared of it. I
Speaker 1: always felt anxious around it, like it was a good
Speaker 1: almost like you create moral values, and we do sometimes
Speaker 1: we talk about good foods and bad foods, and I
Speaker 1: really had created moral values around food. So if I
Speaker 1: ate something that was in the bad category, I felt
Speaker 1: morally wrong. Like I hadn't robbed any stores or like
Speaker 1: hurt anybody, but it felt morally wrong. So I really
Speaker 1: had to start detaching myself from a lot of these
Speaker 1: narratives and kind of unlearnings that I'd kind of gone through,
Speaker 1: and I had to do things like really hard things,
Speaker 1: which were like releasing control by getting rid of all
Speaker 1: the skills in our house, which was one of the
Speaker 1: hardest things to do, because even while I was like
Speaker 1: in this like recovery zone, I was still weighing myself
Speaker 1: every day, and based on that number, I was treating
Speaker 1: myself differently, and I was treating myself as if I
Speaker 1: was a good person or a bad person, or that
Speaker 1: I was having a good day or a bad day
Speaker 1: based on that, or whether I would reward my body
Speaker 1: or punish my body that day. So I really definitely
Speaker 1: had like this very rude awakening because I almost had
Speaker 1: to step into everything I was afraid of, which was
Speaker 1: actually eating food to nourish my body and to eat
Speaker 1: full again, like to eat till I was actually full,
Speaker 1: not going to be hungry anymore, which is something I've
Speaker 1: gotten really used to doing. And um exercising in ways
Speaker 1: that I loved, not because I not because I hated
Speaker 1: my body, to actually start moving for reasons that were
Speaker 1: like for my mental health, to start blocking that little
Speaker 1: spot on the exercise bike that showed how many calories
Speaker 1: I burned and allowed it to be an actual experience
Speaker 1: with it. But that's not to say that it's easy.
Speaker 1: I don't, And I think this is what's really hard
Speaker 1: is when you talk about body confidence and you talk
Speaker 1: about you know, recovery from a lot of these things.
Speaker 1: Everyone thinks you just wake up one day and suddenly
Speaker 1: you just love your body. And there has like there
Speaker 1: are moments where I'm like, all right, like I feel
Speaker 1: really good in this or this is a great day.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling really fine. But the majority of days you
Speaker 1: don't love your body. You act in love. And I
Speaker 1: think that this is something that we've twisted with love
Speaker 1: in general. If you look at every relationship in our
Speaker 1: relational world. We don't we understand like even romantic relationships are.
Speaker 1: In marriages, you don't wake up with butterflies in your
Speaker 1: stomach every day, but you wake up respecting each other.
Speaker 1: You wake up doing these little things that are tangible
Speaker 1: acts of love. But for ourselves, when we talk about
Speaker 1: self love, we still expect it to be this like butterflies,
Speaker 1: feeling like, oh, I just love what I look like.
Speaker 1: Therefore I feel so good and confident to do all
Speaker 1: these things. And what happens is that whole narrative kind
Speaker 1: of pulled us back because then we're always waiting until
Speaker 1: we are blank, until like we are that after, until
Speaker 1: we're deserving of that job or pitching that book or
Speaker 1: starting that whatever it is we want to do, or
Speaker 1: going to the beach with our kids, whatever that might be.
Speaker 1: It really can kind of hold us back. So now
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant and I had to have to get away.
Speaker 1: And it's been even when I talk about food for
Speaker 1: fuel and exercise because I love it, I got so
Speaker 1: sick around a week eight that I went from I
Speaker 1: was like on an exercise, like I hit some of
Speaker 1: my personal goals with fitness that week, and it just
Speaker 1: like I crashed. I got so so sick, I wasn't
Speaker 1: able to exercise for six weeks. I couldn't eat anything
Speaker 1: except for like plain mashed potatoes, like not even like
Speaker 1: nicely mashed potatoes, instant mashed potatoes, like that's real, you know,
Speaker 1: like the Idaho and like, yeah, it was just I
Speaker 1: had a whole like Betty Cross, I was doing samples.
Speaker 1: I was trying to find my perfect mashed potato. But
Speaker 1: these are things that I was always like, these are
Speaker 1: my side dishes, and it's the only thing I can
Speaker 1: survive on. So mentally, I was still recognizing how much
Speaker 1: I had to unpack a lot of these food fears
Speaker 1: and this fitness stuff, but somehow also recognizing that the
Speaker 1: reason I was allowing myself to be this way is
Speaker 1: because it no longer was about me. I was still
Speaker 1: doing it because I'm now like my body is now
Speaker 1: vessel carrying something out and I'm caring for something else.
Speaker 1: So therefore, now I'm allowed to give myself a break.
Speaker 1: Now I'm allowed to create boundaries. Now I'm allowed to
Speaker 1: eat those damn mashed potatoes. So I mean I'm still
Speaker 1: in it. I think I think it will be a
Speaker 1: lifelong journey of learning how to love myself and not
Speaker 1: be so afraid of everything and just showing up exactly
Speaker 1: how I am, even in the ebbs and flows. So
Speaker 1: with that being said, Sarah, did you when you first
Speaker 1: found out you're pregnant. Obviously you know you're overwhelmed with excitement.
Speaker 1: Did that part of you, with how hard you've worked
Speaker 1: over the last several years to kind of get to
Speaker 1: that comfort level with your body and lose that weight,
Speaker 1: did some of those anxieties kind of come back up?
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my gosh, I've been so hard to
Speaker 1: change my body. Now it's gonna be changing out of
Speaker 1: my control. Like where were those feelings at? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: because I mean the last time I had kids, like
Speaker 1: all my babies were born before I was twenty five,
Speaker 1: so my postpartum started at a really young age. I'm
Speaker 1: thirty five. Now this is an entirely different game, and
Speaker 1: I've been actively trying to not focus so much on
Speaker 1: my body, and yet now it's the one thing that
Speaker 1: is so rapidly changing I can't even stop it. So
Speaker 1: I think I really thought that I was in a
Speaker 1: much better place. But I would be lying if I
Speaker 1: didn't say I wasn't really afraid. I wasn't really terrified
Speaker 1: of some of these old feelings coming up. I think
Speaker 1: my biggest fear with it isn't necessarily how my body changes,
Speaker 1: is how my mind might start to betray me in
Speaker 1: the sense of feeling like I'm no longer worthy of
Speaker 1: showing up buying that outfit that I really want to wear,
Speaker 1: going out socially again, and going back to a place
Speaker 1: of holding myself back. I recognize that like my body
Speaker 1: will ebb and flow, like that's just how life is,
Speaker 1: it always will be, and so really kind of giving
Speaker 1: myself that grace, but also trying to really push myself
Speaker 1: beyond just being a body And how can I within
Speaker 1: these changes that will inevitably happen, income how can I
Speaker 1: keep showing up? How can I keep being confident for
Speaker 1: things that have nothing to do with my body, and
Speaker 1: just showing up in that over and over again. So
Speaker 1: I think that was like some of my most challenging
Speaker 1: thoughts in the beginning. Now, have you, with all the
Speaker 1: following that you have with you with your whole journey,
Speaker 1: have you noticed men also reaching out to you with
Speaker 1: about their their body issues or their you know, mental
Speaker 1: aspects around it. Yeah, and it's's funny because men are
Speaker 1: very quiet. They don't want to comment publicly because they
Speaker 1: feel like it's not their place, which is really sad.
Speaker 1: I actually almost always get them in my d ms
Speaker 1: more than anything, and their their struggles are very different.
Speaker 1: But we've actually seen that it's on the rise more
Speaker 1: than ever. There's now boys are getting just as susceptible
Speaker 1: to eating disorders as girls with the rise of TikTok
Speaker 1: and these younger bodies being pushed to get really really
Speaker 1: jacked to the young age, which is like not exactly
Speaker 1: healthy for them either. We're starting to see more boys
Speaker 1: and men coming into body dysmorphic thoughts and eating disorders,
Speaker 1: and eating disorders being on the spectrum of anywhere from
Speaker 1: binge eating over eating all the way to like fitness obsession,
Speaker 1: which is like orthorexia, which is your overdoing everything. So
Speaker 1: I've I've definitely seen a rise in it. But it's
Speaker 1: unfortunate that men feel often excluded from the conversation or
Speaker 1: that it is a women's conversation, because I think that
Speaker 1: even looking and knowing the stats, we know that even
Speaker 1: if it's more of a women's issue, it's still everybody's issue.
Speaker 1: It's still something that I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: struggle with and it just may be manifests in different ways.
Speaker 1: But like my husband definitely has struggled with his body,
Speaker 1: but he's a little bit more passive with it. It's
Speaker 1: a it's a bit of a quicker recovery for him,
Speaker 1: as opposed to someone like me who just suddenly wants
Speaker 1: to burn her entire wardrobe and I have a bit
Speaker 1: of a chip on my shoulder for the day. That
Speaker 1: kind of plays out a bit different. That's so true
Speaker 1: because even like during quarantine, and I'm kind of the
Speaker 1: same with you, Sarah, where if I step on the
Speaker 1: scale if it's a certain number, I'm like the happiest
Speaker 1: person ever. I'm just like so nice and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, and I have like an extra glass
Speaker 1: of wine that night or whatever. If I'm over what
Speaker 1: my normal number is, I will literally starve my body
Speaker 1: in a very unhealthy way where it's like I won't
Speaker 1: eat anything, i won't drink wine, i won't do this,
Speaker 1: I won't do that, and I'm gonna like run harder
Speaker 1: the next day, or it becomes such an unhealthy habit
Speaker 1: um which I'm trying to like change where I don't
Speaker 1: look at the actual number and I look at, okay,
Speaker 1: what muscles because I have been like working out more
Speaker 1: of Okay, what muscle am I? You know? Fat in
Speaker 1: my burning and muscle am I gaining? But it's so tough.
Speaker 1: But like when Michael, you know, he looks in the
Speaker 1: mirror and he's like, oh, I got some love handles,
Speaker 1: and like I could never say that, I would. I
Speaker 1: would you know when I do? I I go down
Speaker 1: the darkest rabbit hole ever and starved myself, and he's
Speaker 1: he goes in the kitchen, He's like, I love handles
Speaker 1: and he eats another doughnut and I'm like, how do
Speaker 1: you do that? Like give me that? Like whatever that is,
Speaker 1: I would want it. My husband loves to say, he's like,
Speaker 1: you know what I gain? And I lose about thirty
Speaker 1: pounds a year, But that's because I really love beer
Speaker 1: in the summer and then I just work it off
Speaker 1: in the winter. But it's like they just kind of
Speaker 1: have this like whatever attitude about it. And so I
Speaker 1: don't know with women what it is with us that
Speaker 1: causes us to feel a little bit more pressure with it.
Speaker 1: But I love what you said about fitness as well.
Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons I started weight training because
Speaker 1: it was the first time I stepped into fitness where
Speaker 1: it was like, we actually don't want you to lose weight,
Speaker 1: watch you gain it, and it actually got your measurable
Speaker 1: success was no longer what your body looked like, it
Speaker 1: was what can you lift? And to watch your body
Speaker 1: change and actually gain weight but you're getting stronger was
Speaker 1: such an empowering feeling and one of the first times
Speaker 1: that I felt truly free from a lot of the
Speaker 1: things that maybe negative thoughts that fitness had given to
Speaker 1: me as well. But I think that men are are
Speaker 1: absolutely a part of this conversation, if not for themselves,
Speaker 1: then as allies to women, just to even understand why
Speaker 1: it is that we've maybe been walking backwards out of bedrooms,
Speaker 1: and why we have no touch zones on our bodies,
Speaker 1: and and how to unpack the fact that women really
Speaker 1: do feel ornamental, We feel like that's what our role
Speaker 1: is a lot of times, and and how can we
Speaker 1: kind of step away from that and recognize and my
Speaker 1: my biggest exercise I try and do for myself is
Speaker 1: when I look at the people in my in my life.
Speaker 1: The people I love. When I name the top five
Speaker 1: things I love about them and you can think about
Speaker 1: you can start to easily pull with these things are
Speaker 1: when you think about your mother, your sister, your best friend,
Speaker 1: your husband, you're whatever it is, Rarely does their body
Speaker 1: land on the top of that list. It's not even
Speaker 1: in the top five. You wouldn't say I love my
Speaker 1: husband because you've got great ads in a nice ass.
Speaker 1: You'd say, I love that he takes care of me
Speaker 1: on a bad day. I love the way he has
Speaker 1: I love like for my husband. I love that when
Speaker 1: we're in a room full of people and there's one
Speaker 1: person alone, he takes time for that one person. I
Speaker 1: love that he has a way of making me laugh
Speaker 1: when all I'm doing is crying, or brings um some
Speaker 1: sort of a steady calmness to my irrational thinkings. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say, oh, I just love the way his ass
Speaker 1: looks and a pair of jeans. That's not why I
Speaker 1: love him. But yet we ourselves think that our value
Speaker 1: in relationships is ornamental, that it is in the way
Speaker 1: that we look all the time, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times what happens is the way we look impacts the
Speaker 1: way we feel, which impacts the way we treat ourselves,
Speaker 1: which impacts the way we show up in relationships. And
Speaker 1: so for me, what has been really interesting is actually
Speaker 1: watching our relationship, our marriage gets stronger because even while
Speaker 1: I was gaining weight recovering from disordered eating, because it
Speaker 1: actually met, we were having better sex because I was
Speaker 1: getting more intimate and allowing like having less no go
Speaker 1: zones and actually enjoying myself that I was actually not
Speaker 1: just like keeping a shirt on, going backwards out of
Speaker 1: a room, trying to hide myself, but actually being present
Speaker 1: in a relationship. And so we actually experienced that. You
Speaker 1: know what, It's not about that, It's about bringing your
Speaker 1: best self two things all the time, but bringing you
Speaker 1: real self as well. No, I love that, and I
Speaker 1: you know, because your birds Papaya on Instagram and where'd
Speaker 1: you come up with that name? By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: always one of that. So it's a bit funny because
Speaker 1: back in like twelve years ago, when everyone started blogs,
Speaker 1: they all had like a really cute name, and so
Speaker 1: I pulled it from my daughter's nicknames. I had just
Speaker 1: my two girls at the times, and their nicknames are Gemma, Birdie,
Speaker 1: and Maya Papaya. But I thought at some point I
Speaker 1: would like drop it, but it's been That's just what
Speaker 1: it's been forever. It's kind of stuck with it. Same
Speaker 1: with the podcast. I I called it the Papaia Podcast,
Speaker 1: just as like a joke because I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm naming. I'll figure it out later.
Speaker 1: Let's just call it the Papia Podcast for now. Then
Speaker 1: we'll like switch it up. And I'm like, yeah, where
Speaker 1: the It's been the Papia Podcast for a year and
Speaker 1: a half, so we're here and out what we're doing
Speaker 1: branded it's you. I love it, and you know, I
Speaker 1: love the photos that you you post to um with
Speaker 1: you know, the body positive and showing your body and
Speaker 1: showing because there's so many times were you know, I
Speaker 1: know a lot of women who have looked at photos
Speaker 1: and there's even one just the other day that I
Speaker 1: took and I was like, I can't post that one,
Speaker 1: like I like, look at I sell you later. I
Speaker 1: look like I might, you know, someone be like are
Speaker 1: you pregnant? Like it's like you're I'm so conscious of
Speaker 1: the comments or the hate that might come from it.
Speaker 1: And with you, it's like you're just so you embrace
Speaker 1: it and you you you just own it and you
Speaker 1: it's beautiful, like it's truly is. It's great to see
Speaker 1: you know, you just like embracing it in and do
Speaker 1: the comments ever, Like I hope that people aren't mean,
Speaker 1: But do people say crappy things? Of course they do,
Speaker 1: of course they do. But usually when I'm reposted on
Speaker 1: a different page. It's not often on my own page.
Speaker 1: But to be honest, it kind of gives me my
Speaker 1: fire in my belly again. It reminds me why I
Speaker 1: do what I do, because the fact is many of
Speaker 1: us aren't existing in our world and in our lives
Speaker 1: and in our own opportunity at memories. How many moms
Speaker 1: aren't going to the beach with their kids or having
Speaker 1: those memories with their families because of how they look.
Speaker 1: Like that's a tragedy that needs to end. But what
Speaker 1: I recognized is that it's kind of like that's saying,
Speaker 1: once you tell a secret, it loses its power. That's
Speaker 1: what happened with me. I don't love posting pictures of
Speaker 1: my cellulae. I have never fallen in love with my
Speaker 1: stretch marks. I respect them. That's frankly, all it is.
Speaker 1: It's a matter of respect. And so I've learned that
Speaker 1: when I share something, if I share it, it now
Speaker 1: no longer has this power over me. If I'm now
Speaker 1: openly sharing that, you know what, I'm a human being
Speaker 1: with actually functioning body, that you know what, did its
Speaker 1: actual job to stretch and expand like it was supposed
Speaker 1: to do. That's something that naturally occurring on my body,
Speaker 1: especially because I've lost weight, being a little bit more prominent,
Speaker 1: like sightlite exists on my skin, doesn't isn't isn't a
Speaker 1: negotiating fact whether or not I show up in the world,
Speaker 1: and so really recognizing and it really happened for me
Speaker 1: that the more I saw other women kind of showing
Speaker 1: up in their bodies, I felt better, but showing up
Speaker 1: in mind. So I don't do it to kind of
Speaker 1: like cope my own ego. I do it because I
Speaker 1: understand that shame lives in these places. It lives in
Speaker 1: dark places, and if we can just see it in
Speaker 1: somebody else, if we know that other women are doing this.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that other women had stretch backs on
Speaker 1: their stomach like mine until like three years ago, So
Speaker 1: of course I was covering them in shame. Of course
Speaker 1: I felt bad about what I looked like, But now
Speaker 1: three years later, it's common for me. I don't even
Speaker 1: feel anything weird about it. And not only that, but
Speaker 1: everyone in my relational world has now seen these photos.
Speaker 1: So what do I What am I doing? Like feeling
Speaker 1: like I need to cover up or feel shame about it?
Speaker 1: Being one? I feel free? Yeah? Yeah, God, I love you, Sarah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I love what you just said about Just because
Speaker 1: you have it doesn't mean you have to like it
Speaker 1: like you respect, respect. It doesn't mean you have to
Speaker 1: fall in love with with aspects of your body or
Speaker 1: whatever that you may not like. So that's that's amazing.
Speaker 1: You're definitely empowering men and women all over the country.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for what you do, sir.
Speaker 1: You're amazing. Sarah. I love you, and everyone should listen
Speaker 1: to the Pie podcast and follow her at Bird's Papaya
Speaker 1: The Bird's Papaya on Instagram. Oh yeah, um, you're the best.
Speaker 1: I love you, thanks for being you and I took
Speaker 1: a lot from this, so thank you, thank you, Thank
Speaker 1: you guys so so much. It was lovely. Have a
Speaker 1: great one. She's awesome. Love what she said about shame.
Speaker 1: Love what you said about the respecting your body. I
Speaker 1: think that was a great message for everyone to hear.
Speaker 1: H Respecting it doesn't mean you have to like everything
Speaker 1: about it. Amen to that. All right, let's take a
Speaker 1: break and then let's read me email. All right, so
Speaker 1: let's take an email? Um from Alex? Can I can
Speaker 1: I read the email? Janna? Would that be okay? I
Speaker 1: would love if you read these last few weeks, I
Speaker 1: haven't been able to be part of the podcast. I've
Speaker 1: just been sitting in my room alone, just reading emails
Speaker 1: out loud to nobody or sometimes my wife and probably
Speaker 1: having to edit me read them, stumble over the emails. Stop, honey,
Speaker 1: you're great. Don't you have a beautiful reading voice? Mike.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to hear that audiobook. By the way,
Speaker 1: Uh so here's this is from Alex. I'm having a
Speaker 1: hard time because my boyfriend and I were a long
Speaker 1: distance for two years, and when he got a job
Speaker 1: promotion in San Francisco, we decided for me to move in,
Speaker 1: which is seven hours away from home. We were very
Speaker 1: happy and as I was trying to get a job
Speaker 1: there during a pandemic while he was still going into
Speaker 1: work every day. I was lonely and board and I
Speaker 1: kept great care of the apartment and finally made friends
Speaker 1: and I got a job. We're having some small, silly
Speaker 1: fights at the very end, but nothing I didn't think
Speaker 1: we couldn't handle. All of a sudden, he told me
Speaker 1: I should move out and go back to my parents house.
Speaker 1: He said to take all the time I need, but
Speaker 1: I was so furious. I packed all my stuff and
Speaker 1: left within the hour. He called me a week later,
Speaker 1: explaining how miserable he is without me, and after he
Speaker 1: drove to me, we talked and I decided to give
Speaker 1: him another chance. However, I'm doubting that this is the
Speaker 1: best choice for me. I love him so much and
Speaker 1: I want to be with him, but I don't know
Speaker 1: how to trust him again. I worry that he doesn't
Speaker 1: respect me because he kicked me out after I moved
Speaker 1: all that way, and he claimed that he needed to
Speaker 1: put all of his energy into work. He swears and
Speaker 1: promises there was no other women involved in any of this,
Speaker 1: and I believe that, but I worry we will find
Speaker 1: our way back to each other and then he'll randomly
Speaker 1: leave me again. Is there anything to be done. I
Speaker 1: think your fear is valid like her fear is, it's
Speaker 1: not validated. It's um how do I say that? Where
Speaker 1: it's I get her fear that it would happen again? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: just I feel like your fear, Yeah, your fear, Your
Speaker 1: fear is definitely justified. I get that. Um, I would say,
Speaker 1: because you know in situations where like how hot I
Speaker 1: know they're not gonna do it again, or you know
Speaker 1: I've moved all my way and I've done all this.
Speaker 1: It's like, sometimes people mess up, and sometimes people need
Speaker 1: a second chance, and sometimes it's hard to give that
Speaker 1: second chance because you're always going to wonder, like when
Speaker 1: will it happen again? Well, here's the deal. You can
Speaker 1: even you can either live that way and say when
Speaker 1: will it happen again? Or you can live with what
Speaker 1: would have happened if I stayed? Would have gotten better?
Speaker 1: Would we have worked out? So? In my mind and
Speaker 1: kind of how I've always thought, especially just you know
Speaker 1: from my own situation with us is babe, it's like
Speaker 1: I'd rather what could I live with? I could rather
Speaker 1: to myself say what would have been like if I stayed?
Speaker 1: And then if something happens and it's like, well, then
Speaker 1: I can check that one off and then I can
Speaker 1: you know, be fine and leave. Yeah, you have more
Speaker 1: peace of mind knowing that you gave it. If you
Speaker 1: still have that feeling in there of giving it another chance,
Speaker 1: then if it happens again, then you're like, this sucks,
Speaker 1: but you know definitely understand that. Me. Um, how I
Speaker 1: would approach it is you'll need to talk about boundaries
Speaker 1: because you know, don't sit there and try to pry
Speaker 1: at what the reasoning was or whatever, because I just
Speaker 1: don't think it's worth trying to pry that out of
Speaker 1: him if he if he doesn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: But if you set boundaries because you you decided to
Speaker 1: take him back or give him a no chance, So
Speaker 1: you've done that, that's done and over with. Now set boundaries,
Speaker 1: be like Okay, I'll move back up there, but you
Speaker 1: know you can't do what you did before. You can't
Speaker 1: just kick me out. Um, if you're having feelings of
Speaker 1: just having to focus on work or issues with me
Speaker 1: being there, let's talk about it. Like there needs to
Speaker 1: be like a hierarchy of events that need to happen
Speaker 1: before y'all physically separate out of whatever your living situation is.
Speaker 1: So you can't he just he can't have that right
Speaker 1: or power just to come home and be like, move out,
Speaker 1: go back to your parents seven hours away. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So y'all just need to have
Speaker 1: that conversation and be like this, that isn't an option.
Speaker 1: We have to talk about and there have to be
Speaker 1: steps that get us to that point. Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: if you're serious about this, for sure, you just set
Speaker 1: real clear boundaries. I think when you say like that's
Speaker 1: on option, it's like that almost like might scare the person,
Speaker 1: like you have to be with me forever? No, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying. Let me rephrase that. It's
Speaker 1: I know what you're saying, but I just want to
Speaker 1: make sure it's clear. Yeah, it's it's not an option.
Speaker 1: To handle it in that manner. There's got to be
Speaker 1: I mean, how old are they? It sounds young, So
Speaker 1: you gotta have a conversation. You create some boundaries. You're
Speaker 1: young adults, talk about it. No one should be able
Speaker 1: to be able to just come home and say move out. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, well trendering outside right now. So um, I
Speaker 1: think I think it's time to just snuggle up. Yes,
Speaker 1: music in my ears. Um, alright, guys, you're the best.
Speaker 1: Everyone have a safe, healthy and happy week. So yeah,