1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: Find Down podcast. You're about to start your movie. I'm 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: so excited. I'm excited for you. Thanks, I'm really proud 3 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: of you. Thank you. I when I got the offer, I, um, 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 1: I looked at it and I started crying because I 5 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: was like, Nope, good things don't happen, not this year, 6 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: not this year. Satan and nice spam that you set 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: me straight to straight to trash nice try. And I 8 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: saw Nashville, I was like, Oh, someone's being dirty with me. 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: They're really going the extra mile to mess with me. 10 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: Someone's really not being nice to me right now. Um. 11 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, no, it's super excited. It's we're filming a 12 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: little a little north west of town. But I'm so bumped. 13 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 1: But yeah, but I got my COVID testing the other 14 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: day and we have to get it like every other day. 15 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: So I'm just a lot of sticks up your nose. 16 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. How are you are you? Are 17 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: you excited to be the man of the month? Mr Mom? Absolutely, 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: That's where I do best more than Mr Mom, I 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: know that. But anyways, more importantly, I've had this topic 20 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: on my brain for the last week. Wait time out, 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Should we introduce Eastern and Danielle because they're back. 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we have to Easton Hi, and Danielle is 23 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: now going to be hopefully with us as well. Say 24 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: hello Danielle. Okay, so I don't know what Mike is 25 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: going to say, so please enlighten all of us. Okay, Yeah, 26 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: this is a conversation for all of us. Okay. And 27 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: it came up when I was at my my buddy's 28 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: bachelor party a weekend ago or two weekends ago, I 29 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: guess now, and that we're sitting around a fire one 30 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: night at Smokers are Go are having a drink and 31 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: alien the aliens. The topic of aliens came up, Aliens, 32 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: aliens and it I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. I'm 33 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:13,359 Speaker 1: not really not really, no, but when it comes to aliens, 34 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: those mother efforts exist in my mind. Okay, there's not. 35 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: And I've been going deep into podcasts like Joe Rogan had, 36 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: this guy, George Knapp, and Jeremy Corbell. Okay, I just 37 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: started watching the Bob Bazar Netflix documentary that Jamie Corbell 38 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: is the director, producer, and writer on and this guy 39 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: Bob Blazar who in the eighties basically blew the whistle 40 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: on areaft one like he exposed it. Yeah, essentially he 41 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: worked at this place. Essentially, give me all the facts 42 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: we need. I'm still learning all the facts on worked 43 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: at this place called S four Site four, which was 44 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: like an area fifty one, like an unknown government site 45 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: in north of Vegas and Nevada. Okay. He said that 46 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: at us for they had nine UFOs spaceships essentially saucers. Okay, 47 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: some were were functional, others were bits and pieces. His 48 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: soul jobs, so they compartmentalized the people working on these things. 49 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: His soul job was to work on the propulsion and 50 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: basically reverse engineer the propulsion mechanism that these UFOs used 51 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: to fly. Question, were there aliens inside the like? Did 52 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: he see aliens inside the uf He just saw the 53 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: flying there. He just saw them in the base and 54 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: he worked on them. Okay, But the people who worked 55 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: on propulsion couldn't talk to the people that worked on 56 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: the electronics. That couldn't talk to the people that worked 57 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: on whatever. So they kept them all very compartmentalized. So basically, 58 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: I'm still again, I'm still learning about all of this 59 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: and like how deep it goes? But he said that 60 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: it couldn't be anything that the technology didn't exist for 61 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: us to have it. So it's not like hours and 62 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: we just haven't released the technology. It's not Russia's and 63 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: they just haven't released the technology. Is a physical impossibility 64 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: for us to have this technology because we can't even 65 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: replicate it yet. So anyways, this just gives me on 66 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: my whole gets me going down a wormhole of just 67 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: aliens and do they exist? And you know, you said 68 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: the point that I said to my buddies last weekend, 69 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,559 Speaker 1: which is great. It's like, at this point I almost 70 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 1: want the government to come out and just just tell 71 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,679 Speaker 1: us or maybe that we even get invaded by aliens, 72 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:49,919 Speaker 1: because what listen to me for a second, what better Okay, 73 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: we've had, we've had all, you know, but you know 74 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 1: the Black Lives matters. Um, we've got COVID, we've got 75 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: everything else as well. Invadeus aliens, if you're listening to this, 76 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,119 Speaker 1: picking up our first asking, invaded by Look, I'm just saying, 77 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: what better to unite this left up world right now 78 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: than us realizing that we're not alone and actually we 79 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: are all the same. If we learned, if we learned 80 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: of extraterrestrials, now we're not alone, it would you. It 81 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: would have to unite us. That's what I said. I 82 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 1: was like, I would hope that it will unite us. 83 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. And that's why I'm so happy 84 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: when you said that, because I was like, that was 85 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: my exact point to all my buddies. I was like, 86 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 1: I would really hope that that could unice. If that 87 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 1: couldn't unite, we're screwed. We got no shot. Do you 88 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: think they have aliens? Remember in Independence Daily? Do you 89 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: think there's aliens in the those little capsule things? Look 90 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 1: All I'm saying is the general physical description or image 91 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: of an alien fairly similar. Now granted, in movies nowadays 92 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: they're kind of getting a little crazy with what they 93 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: look like, but over the years, they've all been fairly similar. 94 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,159 Speaker 1: Do you think someone just just came up with that 95 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: idea like the big head and big eyes one day 96 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: or did they see it and that's what inspired them 97 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: to start creating them that way? Eastern? Do you believe 98 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,919 Speaker 1: in aliens? I I just watched E T for the 99 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: first time last night, and that got me thinking I 100 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: believe in them. I don't know. I've been reading a 101 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: lot of stuff about how like there are extraterrestrial life 102 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 1: forms here, but they're probably like microscopic and it's like 103 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,239 Speaker 1: bacteria and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't count. It's boring. 104 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: I want stuff to fly spaceships, but I don't know. 105 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: I've watched the Ancient Alien Show a couple of times, 106 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: and uh, that I find extremely problematic. It's like, he can't. 107 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: Can't people just have built the pyramids? But I don't know. 108 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: I feel like they've probably shown up at some point 109 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: and then bailed because we're such a low life form. Um. 110 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: But you know, there's and again talking about movies, there's 111 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: a movie called Contact, and they had a quote in 112 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: that movie that if you look up out in the 113 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: night sky and see all those planets, it would be 114 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 1: such a waste of universe to only have humans. You know, 115 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: so it got be something exactly, it'd be it'd be 116 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: a crazy theory to think that we're alone. It would 117 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: be appropriate that Earth things would be so narcissistic, narcissistic 118 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: that we're like, not, we're the only ones, We're the best. Um. 119 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: Danielle Girls perspective. Do you believe in aliens? There's a 120 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: whole galaxy out there and we haven't even explored every 121 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: part of it, like the corpse there are Do you 122 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: think there's humans on other planets like light years away? 123 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: I don't think humans. I don't think people that are 124 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: exactly like us. But I feel like the other planets 125 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: have their own version of a human that's so crazy 126 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 1: and like those other humans and the other planets are 127 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: like I wonder if there's other people like us, you know. 128 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: I just want to know. Do you think the president 129 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: knows or people in the office to know if there's 130 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: a their life out there, like someone in NASA knows, 131 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: you know, like somebody somebody in that organization definitely knows. 132 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: I bet you the president has, like some he has 133 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: to have some kind of Intel's the first thing I 134 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: want to ask if I was president. The first thing, No, 135 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: I wouldn't care about anything else. First debriefing. All right, 136 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: are the aliens Bob aliens? Yes? Or no? No? Take 137 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: me to area, get Air Force one up here. Let's go. 138 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: Maybe like sir, there is no aliens. What you're lying 139 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: to me? Someone makes me? Yeah, No, that would be 140 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: I think I do believe in abductions. That's an interesting one. 141 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't believe in that. No, no, 142 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: I don't believe that people are getting but probed and 143 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 1: all that. I don't know. Maybe that's how humans learned 144 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,440 Speaker 1: about an a sex who knows he's And you're about 145 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: to say something, did you get but probed? Uh? Well, hey, 146 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: you know, we all have wish lists and dreams and 147 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: stuff like that. We can all we can all hope. 148 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: I just watched and that there's that new Unsolved Mysteries 149 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: on Netflix. Um and did they did? It's pretty good? Uh, 150 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: the old one got crazier. But they did a thing 151 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,239 Speaker 1: about aliens. And there was a case in the seventies 152 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: where in like um, I think it was Ohio, and 153 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: like an alien craft allegedly entered the atmosphere and like 154 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: there was like four different people in this county that 155 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 1: all saw the same thing, but they didn't know each 156 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: other and they were like miles apart. So that got 157 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,599 Speaker 1: me thinking, and I was like, oh man, maybe that 158 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: maybe that's real. But then like we did you know, 159 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: my wife and did some research and one of the 160 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: other guys has had a lot of alien encounters, and 161 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: sometimes I think like, okay, well maybe this guy exactly 162 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: exactly like he he claimed he had been brought aboard 163 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: and like experimented on and stuff like that. So yeah, 164 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 1: I don't. I feel like if they're gonna abduct people, 165 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: they'll probably just kill them when they're done, you know, Like, 166 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna like abduct people and put 167 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: them back. Like I know that's kind of harsh, but 168 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: that's just if I'm being pragmatic. I think that's what 169 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: would happen. Yeah, I feel like that's that objections are 170 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: a little movie e scwed. But I do believe that 171 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: there is life out there. I do believe. I believe 172 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: in ghosts. I believe in supernatural. I believe in all that. 173 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: Do you believe in ghosts? Defined I believe in spirits. 174 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: Do you believe that something could be haunted by a spirit, 175 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: because in a sense, that's a ghost, right, Yeah, I 176 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 1: say that counts. Yeah, as much as that scares me? No, 177 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: what like you don't believe in it? Like scary movies 178 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: like ghost movies like that stuff will scare me only 179 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: goes to jumpy. But no, I'm want to haunt your 180 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: asked if I die for you, then I will if 181 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:06,839 Speaker 1: you die before me, I will believe in guests. Oh 182 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: you better believe it. When you go sip a water, 183 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna smack it out of your you're go on 184 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: a date, I'm gonna trip. You made me look like, 185 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: pull out my chair from under me. I'm gonna really 186 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: off with you, all right, Patrick Swayze, Oh that'd be fun. Um, Okay, 187 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,599 Speaker 1: I know we got a little off topic, but that 188 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: was a great one. And we don't even know what 189 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: topic we were on with that. Just aliens, it's just 190 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 1: you can go down a rabbit hole. Oh it's so 191 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 1: good though. Um. But we have um, Sarah Landry who's 192 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: coming on the show today and um, she's beautiful, she's 193 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: very body positive, inspirational story. Yeah, very inspirational story. And yeah, 194 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 1: so we're gonna have her on, but let's first take 195 00:11:51,120 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 1: a break. Sarah, Hi, how are you? I'm Janna. This 196 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: is my husband Michael. Um. You guys so excited we 197 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: have Sarah Landry joining us on Wine Down. Sarah. I've 198 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: been stalking you on Instagram for quite some time. Really 199 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: get out, really just love you awesome. I love a 200 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: good online crush. Like do you ever go down that 201 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: where you like find somebody or like I need to 202 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,319 Speaker 1: I need to unpack everything and you just go so 203 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, you're like, now it's gotten 204 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: awkward because you get that to that point where you 205 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: accidentally likes something from like three years ago. Yeah, been there. Yeah, 206 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: Like I've been doing deep because it's like, you know, 207 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: I've I've definitely um seen you on some of my 208 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: other friends podcasts and I was like, oh, like what's 209 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 1: her situation. She's beautiful and I want to know more 210 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 1: about you and UM and and then I kind of 211 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: started to like deep dive and we'll first of all, 212 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: congratulations because you're pregnant, Thank you, But why don't you 213 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,080 Speaker 1: fill in um our our listeners kind of your journey 214 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: because you also have a podcast as well. But you 215 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 1: know you're just you're very body positive. UM. I appreciate 216 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: you for that, and I also appreciate to something that 217 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 1: I've learned from my stocking is you know you you're divorced, 218 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: and how you almost didn't think that you were worthy 219 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: of love UM after that, and I just I love 220 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: just kind of the journey that you've been on to 221 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 1: now this what seems like an Instagram perfect relationship, so 222 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: I know that it probably is just so perfect, right, oh, always, 223 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: aren't They all are all relationships like permanent honeymoon. No, 224 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: But like that's it's kind of funny because I actually 225 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,439 Speaker 1: do really love social media now. I have my moments 226 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: with it, like any relationship. But I started twelve years 227 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: ago blogging in the pits of motherhood. I had two toddlers, 228 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: I was living six hours away from my family, and 229 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: I felt isolate did and blogs started to become this thing, 230 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 1: and I really started to get feeling like I wasn't 231 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: so alone, And it was just by connecting with other stories, 232 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 1: by seeing other women do these things. But it was 233 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: always about your houses and about your kids and all 234 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: of these things around you. It wasn't really about us yet. 235 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: And then Instagram happened and I was now three times postpartum. 236 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: I've been overweight since I was twelve, so all of 237 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: a sudden, these selfies that everyone was doing was highly 238 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: uncomfortable for me, and I didn't want people to see 239 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: my body. I had done a very good job at 240 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: like hiding myself behind my kids in almost every existence 241 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: I could, so when Instagram came about and that started 242 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: to be a thing, my answer to it was, well, 243 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: I'll just lose weight and then I'll feel better about myself. 244 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: That's the story we're sold, and that's the story that 245 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: seems to be perpetuated from my entire life. And I 246 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: think I didn't realize that this is stuffing. A lot 247 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: of people have experienced that we always just assume to 248 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: be in a thin body is to be in a 249 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: happy body, is to be in a happy relationship with yourself. 250 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: But I didn't have access to proper nutritional guidance. I 251 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: didn't have a gym membership or anybody kind of guiding 252 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 1: me in a fitness journey. I had no money, I 253 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: had no access to a second vehicle. I was a 254 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: stay at home mom of now three kids, and all 255 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: I could do was download an app which told me 256 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: to eat what basically a toddler should eat, and to 257 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: exercise as much as I possibly could. So when I 258 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: started to lose weight, Instagram loved me for it, and 259 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: I was so celebrated for it. And I ended up 260 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: losing a hundred pounds quite rapidly, and it was and 261 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: I was so so proud of that. But there was 262 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: this dark cloud kind of around all of it, because, 263 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: first of all, this picture perfect home that I was 264 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: talking about in this family I was showing was actually crumbling. 265 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: We were about to get divorced after eleven years. I 266 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: was moved into my mom's house, my mom and dad's house. 267 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: So living with your parents at thirty, with three kids, 268 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: no job, no money, I didn't even have my own 269 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: bank account. And guess what, I've now lost over a 270 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: hundred pounds. I'm underweight, I'm struggling with disordered eating, and 271 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: I'm still anxious about my body. I still don't love 272 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: my body. I still am in this place where I'm 273 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: hiding behind my kids and pictures, where I'm not wanting 274 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: to go out and exist in the world because of 275 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 1: my body. And so it was kind of at the 276 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: rock bottom of things. And while people are often like 277 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: you hear rock bottom and it sounds like the worst 278 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: thing ever, I kind of looked at it like there's 279 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: only one way up. This is a complete rebuild, and 280 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna have to do this entirely different than what 281 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 1: I've done before. I'm gonna have to actually learn how 282 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: to eat to nourish my body. I'm gonna learn how 283 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: to love my body in a way that is in 284 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: action and not in feeling. And I'm gonna have to 285 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: start going through life in this really vulnerable way. And 286 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 1: I started showing up as that online and everything kind 287 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: of went from there. So, yeah, where are you at 288 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,920 Speaker 1: now with UM? With you know now that you're pregnant 289 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: or do you is it something? Where did you obsess 290 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,119 Speaker 1: about your weight? Or was it this? Was it the food? 291 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: Or what what made you? Um? What did you do 292 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: when you went down that path? It was weird because 293 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: I probably should have gotten some proper help, but I'm 294 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: a little bit of a d I wire this way, 295 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: and that had been what I kept doing, And I, honestly, 296 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 1: at the time, didn't really have the money. I was 297 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: going through a divorce. All my money was going to 298 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: a divorce and to rebuilding my life. To think of 299 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: paying for caring for myself on top of that wasn't 300 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: something that I even explored. But through enough conversations I 301 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: realized that even if I wasn't ever formally diagnosed with 302 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: an eating disorder, I knew what I was doing was wrong. 303 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 1: I knew that the only reason I was ever exercising 304 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: was because I was trying to burn off something I ate. 305 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: I never had this attitude around food where I felt 306 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 1: safe with it. I always felt scared of it. I 307 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 1: always felt anxious around it, like it was a good 308 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: almost like you create moral values, and we do sometimes 309 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: we talk about good foods and bad foods, and I 310 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: really had created moral values around food. So if I 311 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: ate something that was in the bad category, I felt 312 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: morally wrong. Like I hadn't robbed any stores or like 313 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 1: hurt anybody, but it felt morally wrong. So I really 314 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: had to start detaching myself from a lot of these 315 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: narratives and kind of unlearnings that I'd kind of gone through, 316 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: and I had to do things like really hard things, 317 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: which were like releasing control by getting rid of all 318 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: the skills in our house, which was one of the 319 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,399 Speaker 1: hardest things to do, because even while I was like 320 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 1: in this like recovery zone, I was still weighing myself 321 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: every day, and based on that number, I was treating 322 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,959 Speaker 1: myself differently, and I was treating myself as if I 323 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: was a good person or a bad person, or that 324 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: I was having a good day or a bad day 325 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: based on that, or whether I would reward my body 326 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: or punish my body that day. So I really definitely 327 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: had like this very rude awakening because I almost had 328 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,479 Speaker 1: to step into everything I was afraid of, which was 329 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: actually eating food to nourish my body and to eat 330 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 1: full again, like to eat till I was actually full, 331 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: not going to be hungry anymore, which is something I've 332 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:29,719 Speaker 1: gotten really used to doing. And um exercising in ways 333 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: that I loved, not because I not because I hated 334 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: my body, to actually start moving for reasons that were 335 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 1: like for my mental health, to start blocking that little 336 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: spot on the exercise bike that showed how many calories 337 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: I burned and allowed it to be an actual experience 338 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: with it. But that's not to say that it's easy. 339 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: I don't, And I think this is what's really hard 340 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,200 Speaker 1: is when you talk about body confidence and you talk 341 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 1: about you know, recovery from a lot of these things. 342 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: Everyone thinks you just wake up one day and suddenly 343 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: you just love your body. And there has like there 344 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 1: are moments where I'm like, all right, like I feel 345 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,880 Speaker 1: really good in this or this is a great day. 346 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: I'm feeling really fine. But the majority of days you 347 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: don't love your body. You act in love. And I 348 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 1: think that this is something that we've twisted with love 349 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: in general. If you look at every relationship in our 350 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 1: relational world. We don't we understand like even romantic relationships are. 351 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: In marriages, you don't wake up with butterflies in your 352 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: stomach every day, but you wake up respecting each other. 353 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: You wake up doing these little things that are tangible 354 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: acts of love. But for ourselves, when we talk about 355 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: self love, we still expect it to be this like butterflies, 356 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: feeling like, oh, I just love what I look like. 357 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: Therefore I feel so good and confident to do all 358 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 1: these things. And what happens is that whole narrative kind 359 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: of pulled us back because then we're always waiting until 360 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: we are blank, until like we are that after, until 361 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: we're deserving of that job or pitching that book or 362 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 1: starting that whatever it is we want to do, or 363 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 1: going to the beach with our kids, whatever that might be. 364 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: It really can kind of hold us back. So now 365 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm pregnant and I had to have to get away. 366 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: And it's been even when I talk about food for 367 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,640 Speaker 1: fuel and exercise because I love it, I got so 368 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: sick around a week eight that I went from I 369 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: was like on an exercise, like I hit some of 370 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,479 Speaker 1: my personal goals with fitness that week, and it just 371 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: like I crashed. I got so so sick, I wasn't 372 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,160 Speaker 1: able to exercise for six weeks. I couldn't eat anything 373 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: except for like plain mashed potatoes, like not even like 374 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: nicely mashed potatoes, instant mashed potatoes, like that's real, you know, 375 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: like the Idaho and like, yeah, it was just I 376 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: had a whole like Betty Cross, I was doing samples. 377 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: I was trying to find my perfect mashed potato. But 378 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: these are things that I was always like, these are 379 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: my side dishes, and it's the only thing I can 380 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: survive on. So mentally, I was still recognizing how much 381 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 1: I had to unpack a lot of these food fears 382 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: and this fitness stuff, but somehow also recognizing that the 383 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 1: reason I was allowing myself to be this way is 384 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: because it no longer was about me. I was still 385 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 1: doing it because I'm now like my body is now 386 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: vessel carrying something out and I'm caring for something else. 387 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: So therefore, now I'm allowed to give myself a break. 388 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 1: Now I'm allowed to create boundaries. Now I'm allowed to 389 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 1: eat those damn mashed potatoes. So I mean I'm still 390 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 1: in it. I think I think it will be a 391 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: lifelong journey of learning how to love myself and not 392 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: be so afraid of everything and just showing up exactly 393 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: how I am, even in the ebbs and flows. So 394 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 1: with that being said, Sarah, did you when you first 395 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: found out you're pregnant. Obviously you know you're overwhelmed with excitement. 396 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: Did that part of you, with how hard you've worked 397 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: over the last several years to kind of get to 398 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: that comfort level with your body and lose that weight, 399 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: did some of those anxieties kind of come back up? 400 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 1: You're like, oh my gosh, I've been so hard to 401 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: change my body. Now it's gonna be changing out of 402 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: my control. Like where were those feelings at? Yeah? And 403 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: because I mean the last time I had kids, like 404 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: all my babies were born before I was twenty five, 405 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: so my postpartum started at a really young age. I'm 406 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 1: thirty five. Now this is an entirely different game, and 407 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 1: I've been actively trying to not focus so much on 408 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 1: my body, and yet now it's the one thing that 409 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: is so rapidly changing I can't even stop it. So 410 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 1: I think I really thought that I was in a 411 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 1: much better place. But I would be lying if I 412 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: didn't say I wasn't really afraid. I wasn't really terrified 413 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 1: of some of these old feelings coming up. I think 414 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 1: my biggest fear with it isn't necessarily how my body changes, 415 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: is how my mind might start to betray me in 416 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: the sense of feeling like I'm no longer worthy of 417 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,880 Speaker 1: showing up buying that outfit that I really want to wear, 418 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: going out socially again, and going back to a place 419 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: of holding myself back. I recognize that like my body 420 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: will ebb and flow, like that's just how life is, 421 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 1: it always will be, and so really kind of giving 422 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 1: myself that grace, but also trying to really push myself 423 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: beyond just being a body And how can I within 424 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: these changes that will inevitably happen, income how can I 425 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,919 Speaker 1: keep showing up? How can I keep being confident for 426 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 1: things that have nothing to do with my body, and 427 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,439 Speaker 1: just showing up in that over and over again. So 428 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: I think that was like some of my most challenging 429 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 1: thoughts in the beginning. Now, have you, with all the 430 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: following that you have with you with your whole journey, 431 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: have you noticed men also reaching out to you with 432 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: about their their body issues or their you know, mental 433 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: aspects around it. Yeah, and it's's funny because men are 434 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 1: very quiet. They don't want to comment publicly because they 435 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 1: feel like it's not their place, which is really sad. 436 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: I actually almost always get them in my d ms 437 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 1: more than anything, and their their struggles are very different. 438 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 1: But we've actually seen that it's on the rise more 439 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: than ever. There's now boys are getting just as susceptible 440 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: to eating disorders as girls with the rise of TikTok 441 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: and these younger bodies being pushed to get really really 442 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: jacked to the young age, which is like not exactly 443 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,159 Speaker 1: healthy for them either. We're starting to see more boys 444 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: and men coming into body dysmorphic thoughts and eating disorders, 445 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: and eating disorders being on the spectrum of anywhere from 446 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 1: binge eating over eating all the way to like fitness obsession, 447 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 1: which is like orthorexia, which is your overdoing everything. So 448 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: I've I've definitely seen a rise in it. But it's 449 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: unfortunate that men feel often excluded from the conversation or 450 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 1: that it is a women's conversation, because I think that 451 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 1: even looking and knowing the stats, we know that even 452 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,119 Speaker 1: if it's more of a women's issue, it's still everybody's issue. 453 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 1: It's still something that I think a lot of people 454 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 1: struggle with and it just may be manifests in different ways. 455 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: But like my husband definitely has struggled with his body, 456 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 1: but he's a little bit more passive with it. It's 457 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 1: a it's a bit of a quicker recovery for him, 458 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: as opposed to someone like me who just suddenly wants 459 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: to burn her entire wardrobe and I have a bit 460 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 1: of a chip on my shoulder for the day. That 461 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: kind of plays out a bit different. That's so true 462 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: because even like during quarantine, and I'm kind of the 463 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 1: same with you, Sarah, where if I step on the 464 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: scale if it's a certain number, I'm like the happiest 465 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,680 Speaker 1: person ever. I'm just like so nice and I'm like, 466 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, and I have like an extra glass 467 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 1: of wine that night or whatever. If I'm over what 468 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 1: my normal number is, I will literally starve my body 469 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: in a very unhealthy way where it's like I won't 470 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: eat anything, i won't drink wine, i won't do this, 471 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: I won't do that, and I'm gonna like run harder 472 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: the next day, or it becomes such an unhealthy habit 473 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: um which I'm trying to like change where I don't 474 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,399 Speaker 1: look at the actual number and I look at, okay, 475 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 1: what muscles because I have been like working out more 476 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: of Okay, what muscle am I? You know? Fat in 477 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: my burning and muscle am I gaining? But it's so tough. 478 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: But like when Michael, you know, he looks in the 479 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: mirror and he's like, oh, I got some love handles, 480 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: and like I could never say that, I would. I 481 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 1: would you know when I do? I I go down 482 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,640 Speaker 1: the darkest rabbit hole ever and starved myself, and he's 483 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 1: he goes in the kitchen, He's like, I love handles 484 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: and he eats another doughnut and I'm like, how do 485 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: you do that? Like give me that? Like whatever that is, 486 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 1: I would want it. My husband loves to say, he's like, 487 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: you know what I gain? And I lose about thirty 488 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 1: pounds a year, But that's because I really love beer 489 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 1: in the summer and then I just work it off 490 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: in the winter. But it's like they just kind of 491 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: have this like whatever attitude about it. And so I 492 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 1: don't know with women what it is with us that 493 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,919 Speaker 1: causes us to feel a little bit more pressure with it. 494 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 1: But I love what you said about fitness as well. 495 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,200 Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons I started weight training because 496 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 1: it was the first time I stepped into fitness where 497 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,880 Speaker 1: it was like, we actually don't want you to lose weight, 498 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: watch you gain it, and it actually got your measurable 499 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: success was no longer what your body looked like, it 500 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: was what can you lift? And to watch your body 501 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: change and actually gain weight but you're getting stronger was 502 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: such an empowering feeling and one of the first times 503 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 1: that I felt truly free from a lot of the 504 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 1: things that maybe negative thoughts that fitness had given to 505 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: me as well. But I think that men are are 506 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 1: absolutely a part of this conversation, if not for themselves, 507 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: then as allies to women, just to even understand why 508 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: it is that we've maybe been walking backwards out of bedrooms, 509 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 1: and why we have no touch zones on our bodies, 510 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 1: and and how to unpack the fact that women really 511 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: do feel ornamental, We feel like that's what our role 512 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,639 Speaker 1: is a lot of times, and and how can we 513 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 1: kind of step away from that and recognize and my 514 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: my biggest exercise I try and do for myself is 515 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: when I look at the people in my in my life. 516 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 1: The people I love. When I name the top five 517 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: things I love about them and you can think about 518 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,239 Speaker 1: you can start to easily pull with these things are 519 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: when you think about your mother, your sister, your best friend, 520 00:28:55,280 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: your husband, you're whatever it is, Rarely does their body 521 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: land on the top of that list. It's not even 522 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 1: in the top five. You wouldn't say I love my 523 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: husband because you've got great ads in a nice ass. 524 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: You'd say, I love that he takes care of me 525 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: on a bad day. I love the way he has 526 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: I love like for my husband. I love that when 527 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 1: we're in a room full of people and there's one 528 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: person alone, he takes time for that one person. I 529 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: love that he has a way of making me laugh 530 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: when all I'm doing is crying, or brings um some 531 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: sort of a steady calmness to my irrational thinkings. I 532 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: wouldn't say, oh, I just love the way his ass 533 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: looks and a pair of jeans. That's not why I 534 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: love him. But yet we ourselves think that our value 535 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: in relationships is ornamental, that it is in the way 536 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: that we look all the time, and a lot of 537 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: times what happens is the way we look impacts the 538 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: way we feel, which impacts the way we treat ourselves, 539 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: which impacts the way we show up in relationships. And 540 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: so for me, what has been really interesting is actually 541 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 1: watching our relationship, our marriage gets stronger because even while 542 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 1: I was gaining weight recovering from disordered eating, because it 543 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: actually met, we were having better sex because I was 544 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: getting more intimate and allowing like having less no go 545 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: zones and actually enjoying myself that I was actually not 546 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 1: just like keeping a shirt on, going backwards out of 547 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,959 Speaker 1: a room, trying to hide myself, but actually being present 548 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: in a relationship. And so we actually experienced that. You 549 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: know what, It's not about that, It's about bringing your 550 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 1: best self two things all the time, but bringing you 551 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,560 Speaker 1: real self as well. No, I love that, and I 552 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 1: you know, because your birds Papaya on Instagram and where'd 553 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: you come up with that name? By the way, I'm 554 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 1: always one of that. So it's a bit funny because 555 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: back in like twelve years ago, when everyone started blogs, 556 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: they all had like a really cute name, and so 557 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: I pulled it from my daughter's nicknames. I had just 558 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: my two girls at the times, and their nicknames are Gemma, Birdie, 559 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: and Maya Papaya. But I thought at some point I 560 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: would like drop it, but it's been That's just what 561 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: it's been forever. It's kind of stuck with it. Same 562 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 1: with the podcast. I I called it the Papaia Podcast, 563 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,280 Speaker 1: just as like a joke because I was like, I 564 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm naming. I'll figure it out later. 565 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: Let's just call it the Papia Podcast for now. Then 566 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 1: we'll like switch it up. And I'm like, yeah, where 567 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: the It's been the Papia Podcast for a year and 568 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: a half, so we're here and out what we're doing 569 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 1: branded it's you. I love it, and you know, I 570 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 1: love the photos that you you post to um with 571 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: you know, the body positive and showing your body and 572 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: showing because there's so many times were you know, I 573 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 1: know a lot of women who have looked at photos 574 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: and there's even one just the other day that I 575 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: took and I was like, I can't post that one, 576 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: like I like, look at I sell you later. I 577 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,920 Speaker 1: look like I might, you know, someone be like are 578 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: you pregnant? Like it's like you're I'm so conscious of 579 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 1: the comments or the hate that might come from it. 580 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,400 Speaker 1: And with you, it's like you're just so you embrace 581 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: it and you you you just own it and you 582 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 1: it's beautiful, like it's truly is. It's great to see 583 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: you know, you just like embracing it in and do 584 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: the comments ever, Like I hope that people aren't mean, 585 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: But do people say crappy things? Of course they do, 586 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: of course they do. But usually when I'm reposted on 587 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: a different page. It's not often on my own page. 588 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: But to be honest, it kind of gives me my 589 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: fire in my belly again. It reminds me why I 590 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: do what I do, because the fact is many of 591 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: us aren't existing in our world and in our lives 592 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 1: and in our own opportunity at memories. How many moms 593 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 1: aren't going to the beach with their kids or having 594 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 1: those memories with their families because of how they look. 595 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: Like that's a tragedy that needs to end. But what 596 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: I recognized is that it's kind of like that's saying, 597 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,320 Speaker 1: once you tell a secret, it loses its power. That's 598 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: what happened with me. I don't love posting pictures of 599 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 1: my cellulae. I have never fallen in love with my 600 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 1: stretch marks. I respect them. That's frankly, all it is. 601 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: It's a matter of respect. And so I've learned that 602 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: when I share something, if I share it, it now 603 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: no longer has this power over me. If I'm now 604 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 1: openly sharing that, you know what, I'm a human being 605 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 1: with actually functioning body, that you know what, did its 606 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 1: actual job to stretch and expand like it was supposed 607 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: to do. That's something that naturally occurring on my body, 608 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 1: especially because I've lost weight, being a little bit more prominent, 609 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: like sightlite exists on my skin, doesn't isn't isn't a 610 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: negotiating fact whether or not I show up in the world, 611 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: and so really recognizing and it really happened for me 612 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: that the more I saw other women kind of showing 613 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: up in their bodies, I felt better, but showing up 614 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,479 Speaker 1: in mind. So I don't do it to kind of 615 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 1: like cope my own ego. I do it because I 616 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: understand that shame lives in these places. It lives in 617 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 1: dark places, and if we can just see it in 618 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 1: somebody else, if we know that other women are doing this. 619 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: I didn't know that other women had stretch backs on 620 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,719 Speaker 1: their stomach like mine until like three years ago, So 621 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,320 Speaker 1: of course I was covering them in shame. Of course 622 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,360 Speaker 1: I felt bad about what I looked like, But now 623 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 1: three years later, it's common for me. I don't even 624 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 1: feel anything weird about it. And not only that, but 625 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 1: everyone in my relational world has now seen these photos. 626 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,240 Speaker 1: So what do I What am I doing? Like feeling 627 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: like I need to cover up or feel shame about it? 628 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,839 Speaker 1: Being one? I feel free? Yeah? Yeah, God, I love you, Sarah. Yeah, 629 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 1: and I love what you just said about Just because 630 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 1: you have it doesn't mean you have to like it 631 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,319 Speaker 1: like you respect, respect. It doesn't mean you have to 632 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: fall in love with with aspects of your body or 633 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 1: whatever that you may not like. So that's that's amazing. 634 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: You're definitely empowering men and women all over the country. 635 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 1: So thank you so much for what you do, sir. 636 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,440 Speaker 1: You're amazing. Sarah. I love you, and everyone should listen 637 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: to the Pie podcast and follow her at Bird's Papaya 638 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 1: The Bird's Papaya on Instagram. Oh yeah, um, you're the best. 639 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,279 Speaker 1: I love you, thanks for being you and I took 640 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 1: a lot from this, so thank you, thank you, Thank 641 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: you guys so so much. It was lovely. Have a 642 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 1: great one. She's awesome. Love what she said about shame. 643 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 1: Love what you said about the respecting your body. I 644 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: think that was a great message for everyone to hear. 645 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 1: H Respecting it doesn't mean you have to like everything 646 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: about it. Amen to that. All right, let's take a 647 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:18,960 Speaker 1: break and then let's read me email. All right, so 648 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 1: let's take an email? Um from Alex? Can I can 649 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: I read the email? Janna? Would that be okay? I 650 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,320 Speaker 1: would love if you read these last few weeks, I 651 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: haven't been able to be part of the podcast. I've 652 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: just been sitting in my room alone, just reading emails 653 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,840 Speaker 1: out loud to nobody or sometimes my wife and probably 654 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,719 Speaker 1: having to edit me read them, stumble over the emails. Stop, honey, 655 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,719 Speaker 1: you're great. Don't you have a beautiful reading voice? Mike. 656 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 1: I'm really excited to hear that audiobook. By the way, 657 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 1: Uh so here's this is from Alex. I'm having a 658 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 1: hard time because my boyfriend and I were a long 659 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: distance for two years, and when he got a job 660 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 1: promotion in San Francisco, we decided for me to move in, 661 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 1: which is seven hours away from home. We were very 662 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: happy and as I was trying to get a job 663 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: there during a pandemic while he was still going into 664 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: work every day. I was lonely and board and I 665 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,799 Speaker 1: kept great care of the apartment and finally made friends 666 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,240 Speaker 1: and I got a job. We're having some small, silly 667 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,040 Speaker 1: fights at the very end, but nothing I didn't think 668 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,320 Speaker 1: we couldn't handle. All of a sudden, he told me 669 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,479 Speaker 1: I should move out and go back to my parents house. 670 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: He said to take all the time I need, but 671 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 1: I was so furious. I packed all my stuff and 672 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,719 Speaker 1: left within the hour. He called me a week later, 673 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 1: explaining how miserable he is without me, and after he 674 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,319 Speaker 1: drove to me, we talked and I decided to give 675 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 1: him another chance. However, I'm doubting that this is the 676 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,920 Speaker 1: best choice for me. I love him so much and 677 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: I want to be with him, but I don't know 678 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,800 Speaker 1: how to trust him again. I worry that he doesn't 679 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,879 Speaker 1: respect me because he kicked me out after I moved 680 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 1: all that way, and he claimed that he needed to 681 00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,840 Speaker 1: put all of his energy into work. He swears and 682 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,200 Speaker 1: promises there was no other women involved in any of this, 683 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,480 Speaker 1: and I believe that, but I worry we will find 684 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,240 Speaker 1: our way back to each other and then he'll randomly 685 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,759 Speaker 1: leave me again. Is there anything to be done. I 686 00:36:54,800 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: think your fear is valid like her fear is, it's 687 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: not validated. It's um how do I say that? Where 688 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 1: it's I get her fear that it would happen again? Yeah, yeah, 689 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: just I feel like your fear, Yeah, your fear, Your 690 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: fear is definitely justified. I get that. Um, I would say, 691 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,200 Speaker 1: because you know in situations where like how hot I 692 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 1: know they're not gonna do it again, or you know 693 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,319 Speaker 1: I've moved all my way and I've done all this. 694 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 1: It's like, sometimes people mess up, and sometimes people need 695 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: a second chance, and sometimes it's hard to give that 696 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,799 Speaker 1: second chance because you're always going to wonder, like when 697 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 1: will it happen again? Well, here's the deal. You can 698 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: even you can either live that way and say when 699 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 1: will it happen again? Or you can live with what 700 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,359 Speaker 1: would have happened if I stayed? Would have gotten better? 701 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,800 Speaker 1: Would we have worked out? So? In my mind and 702 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: kind of how I've always thought, especially just you know 703 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: from my own situation with us is babe, it's like 704 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 1: I'd rather what could I live with? I could rather 705 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: to myself say what would have been like if I stayed? 706 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 1: And then if something happens and it's like, well, then 707 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 1: I can check that one off and then I can 708 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,239 Speaker 1: you know, be fine and leave. Yeah, you have more 709 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 1: peace of mind knowing that you gave it. If you 710 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 1: still have that feeling in there of giving it another chance, 711 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,240 Speaker 1: then if it happens again, then you're like, this sucks, 712 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:28,360 Speaker 1: but you know definitely understand that. Me. Um, how I 713 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: would approach it is you'll need to talk about boundaries 714 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,560 Speaker 1: because you know, don't sit there and try to pry 715 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 1: at what the reasoning was or whatever, because I just 716 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: don't think it's worth trying to pry that out of 717 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: him if he if he doesn't want to talk about it. 718 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 1: But if you set boundaries because you you decided to 719 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 1: take him back or give him a no chance, So 720 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: you've done that, that's done and over with. Now set boundaries, 721 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 1: be like Okay, I'll move back up there, but you 722 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,399 Speaker 1: know you can't do what you did before. You can't 723 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,839 Speaker 1: just kick me out. Um, if you're having feelings of 724 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 1: just having to focus on work or issues with me 725 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 1: being there, let's talk about it. Like there needs to 726 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 1: be like a hierarchy of events that need to happen 727 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:21,759 Speaker 1: before y'all physically separate out of whatever your living situation is. 728 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,919 Speaker 1: So you can't he just he can't have that right 729 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: or power just to come home and be like, move out, 730 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,560 Speaker 1: go back to your parents seven hours away. Yeah, you 731 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:31,920 Speaker 1: know what I mean. So y'all just need to have 732 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:35,320 Speaker 1: that conversation and be like this, that isn't an option. 733 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 1: We have to talk about and there have to be 734 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 1: steps that get us to that point. Yeah, for sure, 735 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,239 Speaker 1: if you're serious about this, for sure, you just set 736 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 1: real clear boundaries. I think when you say like that's 737 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,520 Speaker 1: on option, it's like that almost like might scare the person, 738 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,359 Speaker 1: like you have to be with me forever? No, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, 739 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,959 Speaker 1: I get what you're saying. Let me rephrase that. It's 740 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:00,680 Speaker 1: I know what you're saying, but I just want to 741 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:05,240 Speaker 1: make sure it's clear. Yeah, it's it's not an option. 742 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 1: To handle it in that manner. There's got to be 743 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: I mean, how old are they? It sounds young, So 744 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 1: you gotta have a conversation. You create some boundaries. You're 745 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: young adults, talk about it. No one should be able 746 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 1: to be able to just come home and say move out. Okay, okay, 747 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 1: all right, well trendering outside right now. So um, I 748 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:38,279 Speaker 1: think I think it's time to just snuggle up. Yes, 749 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 1: music in my ears. Um, alright, guys, you're the best. 750 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 1: Everyone have a safe, healthy and happy week. So yeah,