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Speaker 1: Do you feel a little awkward in this season?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, I feel super awkward, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: it's because the podcast is ten years old and ten

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Speaker 2: is an awkward year.

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Speaker 1: Ten is so awkward. Let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about it. I remember being a ten year old.

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Speaker 1: That was a long time ago.

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Speaker 2: Now I can't believe it. It was a really long

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Speaker 2: time ago. Already.

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Speaker 1: Oh la la, look, I'm what is I'm Diosa and

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Speaker 1: I'm Mala. Today we're talking about awkward growing phases. This

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Speaker 1: is our tenth season and our ninth year of podcasting,

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Speaker 1: and there's been some awkward growing phases, some reflections, and

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Speaker 1: I think, just broadly speaking, we're at a cultural moment

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Speaker 1: where so many people are talking about doing especially therapized people, right,

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Speaker 1: doing inner child work, do the thing little little you liked, right,

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Speaker 1: That's something I see a lot, and just embracing your

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Speaker 1: inner weird girl. The nostalgia is obviously everywhere, and even

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Speaker 1: this idea of like, I'm just a thirty something teenage girl.

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Speaker 1: So I think we want to explore all of that

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Speaker 1: but also talk about ourselves and how that relates to

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Speaker 1: the growth of the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the podcast was is ten we were once ten

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Speaker 2: and what were we doing when we were ten years old?

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Speaker 2: All kinds of weird fun shit. I loved being ten.

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Speaker 2: It was awkward, it was uncomfortable in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 2: but I think ultimately I had a lot of fun

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Speaker 2: and I love thinking about that time in my life.

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Speaker 1: I hated that timeframe. I did not like being a

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Speaker 1: ten year old, which sounds so ridiculous to say as

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Speaker 1: a thirty something old. I'm like, I hated being ten,

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Speaker 1: But I think that that was a those couple of

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Speaker 1: years between like being ten, like being in middle school.

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Speaker 1: I think middle school was really rough for me, and

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Speaker 1: those are years that I've actively repressed, and I have

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Speaker 1: decided to dig up for the sake of this episode, for.

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Speaker 2: The sake of entertainment, Yeah, and storytelling.

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Speaker 1: You're welcome.

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Speaker 2: Share with us your trauma, share with us, tell us.

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Speaker 1: I think about being the new girl. So I was

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Speaker 1: at a new school, and I had social anxiety, and

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Speaker 1: I was just a little weird, depressed girl, And so

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Speaker 1: I think I was just trying to figure myself out

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Speaker 1: in the way that you can when you're ten, right,

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Speaker 1: and then having these family pressures being the daughter, and

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Speaker 1: I just remember middle school being really hard because my

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Speaker 1: dad just put so much pressure on me as a

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Speaker 1: kid to be this like excellent student. And so I think,

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Speaker 1: just think for all those reasons, school was just not

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Speaker 1: enjoyable for me, even though I liked to learn and

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Speaker 1: I liked school, But there were so many reasons at

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Speaker 1: school was not enjoyable for me, and that was one

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Speaker 1: of them. And so I think when I look back

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Speaker 1: at that time, that was when I was really thinking

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Speaker 1: about not really understanding what mental health was. But I

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Speaker 1: can pinpoint like, oh, that I was really depressed those years,

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Speaker 1: and I like in the way that a kid can

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Speaker 1: be depressed, right, And so that meant for me because

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Speaker 1: of what I had access to being like an emo kid,

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Speaker 1: because it's like, oh, this is the pain and the

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Speaker 1: emotions that I'm feeling. Yeah, so I'm going to listen

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Speaker 1: to Evanescence, yes, and just feel like I'm going through

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Speaker 1: it because I am a ten year old right, which

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Speaker 1: again now I'm like, ooh, girl, like you just needed

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Speaker 1: some therapy and probably a big sister. You just needed

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Speaker 1: some therapy and a hug, but instead you listen to

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Speaker 1: Evanescence and we're really sad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I remember being at that age and people

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Speaker 2: saying like, oh, emo means emotional, and like it does,

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Speaker 2: it does. And I had a very happy time as

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Speaker 2: a ten year old. But I was also like a

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Speaker 2: little baby goth because it was a fun thing to

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Speaker 2: do with my little friends, right, And we were all

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Speaker 2: shopping at Hot Topic, we were listening to Evanescence. We

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Speaker 2: were wearing all blacks on our free dress days at

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Speaker 2: school because we were uniforms. So when we could, it

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Speaker 2: was our little hot topic.

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Speaker 1: Looks were you? You were allowed to go to Hot Topic?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think my parents really knew that I

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Speaker 2: was going to hot topic. You know, there were moments

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Speaker 2: where we were allowed to hang out at the mall

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Speaker 2: with our little group of friends and with my little

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Speaker 2: like shillings whatever, whatever little money I had, I was

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Speaker 2: buying my little Jack Skellington merch for sure. Yeah. It

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Speaker 2: was it was all like it was all nightmare before Christmas. Goth,

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Speaker 2: you know, right, baby God, baby Goth. And then remember

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Speaker 2: I don't remember what this character was called, but there

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Speaker 2: was that bunny rabbit, Yes that had all those funny

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Speaker 2: little sayings. Yes, I don't remember what it was called,

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Speaker 2: but I wore a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of that stuff too, that is so cute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, those types of things, and we were into like

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Speaker 2: Sailor Moon and Kiki's delivery Service, like Studio ghibli stuff,

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Speaker 2: And I think that those films are also very much

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Speaker 2: about girls on a road to discovery, Yes, who are

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Speaker 2: around the same age, who are going through trials and

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Speaker 2: tribulations and obstacles and journeys. And I think that really

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Speaker 2: spoke to me and so and then like artists like

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Speaker 2: aver Lavine. I loved aver Levine, and so it just

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Speaker 2: all felt like there is that girly teenage angst. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so anything involving that I was loving.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely feel like I was an angsty little

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Speaker 1: little girl at that time, and yeah, there's just something

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Speaker 1: there's I mean, there's so much about being a girl, right,

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Speaker 1: but I think that time in particular, like I just

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Speaker 1: felt especially angsty. There was I think I remember a

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Speaker 1: lot of family transitions happening at that time, and so

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Speaker 1: it was just a rough time. And I think like

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Speaker 1: in that vein like I have also been going through

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Speaker 1: family transitions around this not around this time, but I

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Speaker 1: think just in the last several years. So I'm actively

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Speaker 1: connecting these thoughts I'm like, oh, this is why I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling a little awkward.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's the awkward growing pains. It's a growth spurt.

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Speaker 1: It's a growth spurt, and growth spirts are painful.

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Speaker 2: Very painful physically, emotionally even like the way that you

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Speaker 2: dress and the way that you look and what you

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Speaker 2: do for fun. And I just recently took my goddaughter shopping.

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Speaker 2: She just turned thirteen, and so she's used to shopping

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Speaker 2: literally in the little girl section, right, but she can't

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Speaker 2: shop there anymore. The clothes are not made for her anymore.

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Speaker 2: And so just seeing her kind of navigate that and

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Speaker 2: come to that realization and oh, I need to shop

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Speaker 2: in the women's section. Basically, you know, that's awkward. That's

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Speaker 2: very awkward. And I remember ten as being I think,

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Speaker 2: kind of like peak childhood, yes, And then after ten,

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Speaker 2: you start becoming a preteen, you know, eleven, twelve, thirteen,

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Speaker 2: and that's a whole different era, and your body is

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Speaker 2: changing and you're going through puberty and people start to

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Speaker 2: notice you as like as like you're pretty, boys want

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Speaker 2: to date you, whatever. But when you're ten, you know,

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Speaker 2: things are just so much more wholesome and simple and

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Speaker 2: you're just you're really in the in the thick of

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Speaker 2: being a kid. You know, That's how I felt at ten.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, Yeah, it's definitely like I think ten is monumental,

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Speaker 1: I think in relation to the podcast and then as

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Speaker 1: an actual child, right because it's your first double digit year,

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Speaker 1: and so it's like exciting, right because it's we made

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Speaker 1: it double digits. You're ten and exactly what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: You're a tween. You're not a teen yet, You're still

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Speaker 1: in that really in between. So there's this like limbo

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Speaker 1: awkwardness that I think is at the heart of being ten. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which I think is kind of similar to what the

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Speaker 1: kind of growth that we've been having here on the show.

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Speaker 1: Don't go anywhere, Look Amotives, We'll be right.

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Speaker 2: Back, and we're back with more of our episode. It's

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Speaker 2: finding our voice again or our new voice and our

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Speaker 2: style and what's important to us and what's new, what

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Speaker 2: do we keep, what do we add? How do we

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Speaker 2: retain our core while still evolving and maturing and growing

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Speaker 2: And Yeah, in prepping for this episode, we talked about

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Speaker 2: how we saw so many similarities between that age in

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Speaker 2: our real lives and this age for the show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and looking back on the inception of lok At Tora,

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Speaker 1: I was twenty sixteen and that was nine years ago,

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Speaker 1: and in so many ways feels like yesterday, and in

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Speaker 1: other ways feels like that was so long ago. Who

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Speaker 1: were we even and even just listening to episodes from

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Speaker 1: back then, how young we sounded, the way we ran

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Speaker 1: the show right, the way we were producing it, which

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Speaker 1: we weren't even calling it producing back then and to now.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think look at Toa is like grown

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Speaker 1: up in so many ways. But I think what we

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Speaker 1: have been reflecting on is in some ways, the way

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Speaker 1: we're talking about in her child work for ourselves. It's

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Speaker 1: like there are some things that need to stay about

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Speaker 1: Loka Tora that are like Loka. It's like her own,

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Speaker 1: her own little her little girl in some ways, you know.

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Speaker 1: And we were actually we were even joking like Lokatta's

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Speaker 1: the eldest daughter, she's our first born, and it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we put so much pressure on her. And I think

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Speaker 1: that anytime you put pressure on something that's creative and

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Speaker 1: something that's artistic, like you can very easily lose your

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Speaker 1: love for it. You can lose your north star, forget

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Speaker 1: like why I even started this because it just feels

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Speaker 1: like so much work, really stressful, and like do the

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Speaker 1: people even like it? When it's like, well, wait, I

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Speaker 1: started this with my friend because we wanted to and

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Speaker 1: because we loved it, and that's why we kept it going.

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Speaker 2: And we've started other shows, and then it's like, is

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Speaker 2: the first show getting all of the love and attention

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Speaker 2: that it needs and deserves? Much like is the eldest

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Speaker 2: daughter getting all the attention it deserves? Or are we

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Speaker 2: neglect the first the eldest because there's little baby shows, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that need cultivating and attention and how do we how

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Speaker 2: do we make sure everybody is getting taken care of?

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Speaker 2: And are we putting too much? Yeah? Pressure? Are we?

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Speaker 2: Are we putting the show to work? But are we

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Speaker 2: giving the show the fun and the love that it

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Speaker 2: needs to really shine?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think one of the things that helped

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Speaker 1: us connect those dots is we were talking about being

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Speaker 1: a kid and like wanting to be seen as older. Right,

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Speaker 1: you're a kid and you want to be treated like

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Speaker 1: an adult, and then you're an adult and you're like wait, wait, wait, yeah,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I'm baby, Like what do you mean? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can't make these grown ass decisions like I'm still

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Speaker 1: a teen bride, you know, And.

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Speaker 2: So I'm still a teen bride.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so what do you mean? And I think

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Speaker 1: that in that same vein, we have put a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure on look At to like be super serious

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Speaker 1: and force her to grow in ways like that we

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Speaker 1: have maybe wanted me in particular, But then thinking the

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Speaker 1: core of the show is actually something a little different.

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Speaker 1: It's still serious, but in a different tone and in

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Speaker 1: a different format.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. It's also I think similar to this idea of

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Speaker 2: doing the things that your child's self loved to do,

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Speaker 2: like as adults, we can still do them, you know, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I used to love rollerblading. I can continue skating because

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Speaker 2: it was so fun. It's still so fun, you know.

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Speaker 2: Why not. I used to love watching Studio Ghibli. I

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Speaker 2: was watching Spirited Away last night, you know, because this

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Speaker 2: stuff spoke to me for a reason and made me

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Speaker 2: feel good. So why abandon it? Why not keep it?

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Speaker 2: And I think it's the same for the show. You know,

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Speaker 2: the reason listeners were listening and tuning in in the

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Speaker 2: first place is still the reason why they want to

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Speaker 2: tune in now. It's for the laughs. And the storytelling

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Speaker 2: and the analysis and our perspective on the world, and

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Speaker 2: the friendship that's behind all of it, and the way

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Speaker 2: that we relate to whatever topic that we're covering. You know,

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Speaker 2: we don't have to be CNN. CNN already exists. We

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Speaker 2: don't have to be NPR. There's already an NPR. You know.

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Speaker 2: We can really just be ourselves and let the show

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Speaker 2: be the show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, in that vein. We also don't have to

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Speaker 1: just shoot the shit because I think that that is

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Speaker 1: something that we that kind of style of show where

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Speaker 1: we're kind of just sharing, right, that is also not

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Speaker 1: what this is. And I think we there have been

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Speaker 1: moments where like, Okay, it seems like that is what

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Speaker 1: how podcasts, especially the Latino podcasts, are moving, Like let's

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Speaker 1: try it, and we try it and we end up

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Speaker 1: not really liking it and it's fun. But it's not

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Speaker 1: what Loka is, right, and it's also not supposed to

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Speaker 1: be super newsy. It is not a strict journalist show. Sure,

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Speaker 1: is there journalistic integrity absolutely, Do we cite ourselves absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Do we make things up? No, But it's also not

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Speaker 1: hard journalism. There's no I wish one day one day,

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Speaker 1: but that's also not what it is. And so I

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Speaker 1: think in that they're with growing pains is also trying

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Speaker 1: new things and letting them go if it doesn't work,

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Speaker 1: which I think is something we've experienced a lot this season.

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Speaker 1: Is trying things in real time and still switching it up,

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Speaker 1: which can feel scary, at least for me. It can

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Speaker 1: feel like, but we said we were going to do this,

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Speaker 1: so we have to keep doing it. But actually, like,

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Speaker 1: why who said that? Why am I making that up?

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Speaker 1: We said it. We can do it because we're saying it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? We can change our minds.

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Speaker 1: Don't go anywhere, Locomotives.

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Speaker 2: We'll be right back, and we're back with more of

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Speaker 2: our episode. It's also I think something that happens when

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Speaker 2: you're ten years old, and I think it happened to us,

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Speaker 2: is comparing yourself to other people. Yeah, right, And when

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Speaker 2: you're a ten year old and when you're in middle school,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of comparisons. Your parents comparing you to

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Speaker 2: other kids. Why can't you be more like them? Or

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Speaker 2: their house is always so clean? Why can't we keep

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Speaker 2: our house back lean? And everybody is kind of having

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Speaker 2: the same conversation, everyone is comparing themselves to the next person.

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Speaker 2: And I think especially because of you know, social media

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Speaker 2: and the way that we see other podcasts operating, I

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Speaker 2: think it became very easy for us to compare ourselves

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Speaker 2: and our show to other shows, which is honestly so

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Speaker 2: unnecessary too, because, not to be shady, but a lot

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Speaker 2: of those shows don't last, you know, and they may

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Speaker 2: have a spike, they may have a moment, but do

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Speaker 2: they have the longevity that we've already had, you know.

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Speaker 2: And so just like when we were ten, you learn

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Speaker 2: eventually not to compare yourself to other people and to

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Speaker 2: figure your own way out. And I think that we've

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Speaker 2: had that experience with the show as well.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, I remember falling into that trap really really intensely

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Speaker 1: as a ten year old. There was so there were

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Speaker 1: a couple people in particular the I would like constantly

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Speaker 1: compare myself to. They were older, and it just felt

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Speaker 1: like I need to do what they do and I

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Speaker 1: need to be as good as them. And it was

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Speaker 1: just constantly like this little like cloud in my mind

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Speaker 1: of I need to be as good as them, and

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Speaker 1: it just took away so much joy that I probably

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Speaker 1: could have felt at that age. But it comes with

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many layers right that I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get into. But I do think in relation

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Speaker 1: to what you're saying that when you're you're in the

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Speaker 1: space for so long and you see new folks come

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Speaker 1: in and you're like, should I be trying that? And

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Speaker 1: then you try it and you're like, oh, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: work for us, you know. And then it's also like

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Speaker 1: this really hard balance of wanting to grow and wanting

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Speaker 1: to grow the show but also like keeping things the

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Speaker 1: same but also letting it grow. And how do you

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Speaker 1: find that balance? And I think that this season has

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Speaker 1: been thataon of trying to find the balance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all about finding balance, and it's like these lessons.

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Speaker 2: It's like the same lessons over and over and over

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Speaker 2: again in different contexts. And for me as a ten

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Speaker 2: year old, the way I was comparing myself and then

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Speaker 2: eventually finding balance was specifically with things like plucking my eyebrows,

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Speaker 2: you know, like speaking of comparing myself like as this,

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Speaker 2: I remember in the sixth grade looking at the eighth

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Speaker 2: grade girls who were like bleaching their little mustaches and

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Speaker 2: getting their eyebrows waxed and then thinking to myself like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I want to I want to do my eyebrows and

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Speaker 2: then plucking them way too thin, you know, yes, And

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Speaker 2: then eventually you figure out like this looks horrible and

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Speaker 2: butchering myself, yes, and for what this is wild? And

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Speaker 2: then eventually you find your look and you figure your

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Speaker 2: face out and what looks good on you and what

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Speaker 2: you need to do and what you don't need to do,

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Speaker 2: and then you find like your your rhythm and your pace.

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Speaker 2: And I think of that too with the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, and this went beyond for me

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Speaker 1: ten years old. But there was a moment in middle

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Speaker 1: school where I started bleaching my arm hair.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yes, the arm hair stuff was huge in middle school.

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Speaker 1: So I started bleaching my arm hair because this girl

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Speaker 1: in our class was also bleaching her arm hair and

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Speaker 1: we could not wax at the time, and like you

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Speaker 1: couldn't you quote shouldn't shave it. So it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna bleach it. I would bleach it, and then

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Speaker 1: in high school I started waxing, and then eventually I

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Speaker 1: started shaving in college, and then it reached a point

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Speaker 1: where I was like why am I doing this? And

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Speaker 1: then I stopped that and I never touched it again.

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Speaker 1: And I'm really there's no reason for me to share this.

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Speaker 1: I'm just sharing it.

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Speaker 2: It's a great thing. Story brought it up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the plucking, the plucking of the eyebrows, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, that's so why but why But at the time,

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Speaker 2: because I remember there was a girl in the sixth grade.

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Speaker 2: In the sixth grade, she was already shaving her legs,

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Speaker 2: she was shaving her arms, she was doing the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Very advanced. I felt, yes, very advanced for a sixth grader,

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Speaker 2: but my mother would not let me same, you know.

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Speaker 2: And then I remember this girl was like, you should

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Speaker 2: try shaving and then you won't look like a gorilla.

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Speaker 2: But it's like stuff like that where it's like, you know,

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Speaker 2: me and my little friends were swinging from trees and

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Speaker 2: digging holes and like we were having sleepovers that were seances,

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Speaker 2: and we were like silly kids who like played. And

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Speaker 2: then there were the kids who were like a little

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Speaker 2: bit more mature, who maybe had like older siblings and

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Speaker 2: older cousins or I don't know what they were watching

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Speaker 2: or what was going on, but they were just like

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Speaker 2: on a different level. And so then a comment like

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Speaker 2: that then like oh wait what, Yeah, I hadn't. It

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Speaker 2: hadn't computed for me that there was an issue that

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Speaker 2: I was so hairy until she pointed it out. And

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Speaker 2: it's moments like that that that then make you feel like,

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Speaker 2: oh I need to change something, Yes, I need to

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Speaker 2: fix something.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's really easy to try to find things to fix, right.

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Speaker 1: It's like in Spanish, it's like non us Cso it's

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Speaker 1: like don't like if you want, you can find something, sure, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but why.

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Speaker 2: It's harder I think at that age to find something

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Speaker 2: you love about yourself, yes, then to find something you dislike.

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Speaker 2: It's much easier to find something you dislike about yourself.

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Speaker 1: I mean, even as an adult, it's sometimes can be

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Speaker 1: really hard to find things you love about yourself or

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Speaker 1: even like about yourself, you know, because I think liking

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Speaker 1: is a really it can be you like, you don't

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Speaker 1: always like the people you love, especially in families. But

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Speaker 1: I think that like liking yourself and loving yourself is

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Speaker 1: equally important, and it can be really easy to struggle

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Speaker 1: to find some of those things sometimes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because love is sort of this, I think in

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Speaker 2: a way, you're almost hardwired to love, like it's it's

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Speaker 2: built into you. But like when you like something, it's oh,

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Speaker 2: like that that tickles my fancy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to keep coming back to this thing

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Speaker 1: or this person because I really like it.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to, yeah, because I'm not hardwired, you know,

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Speaker 2: to like deeply love and care about this thing. But

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Speaker 2: I like it. It makes me smile, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: And could I live without it maybe, but I don't

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Speaker 2: want to. Yeah, I want to keep it because I

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Speaker 2: think it's cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Yeah. And I think for Loka Tora, it's

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Speaker 1: like finding remembering the things that we like about the show.

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Speaker 1: What is it that we love about the show. And

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Speaker 1: also I think the core of the show is has

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Speaker 1: always and will always be the audience, right, And so

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Speaker 1: it really is keeping in mind, like what is it

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Speaker 1: that you the listener wants, and what is it that

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Speaker 1: you the listener enjoy And at the top of the season,

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Speaker 1: we'd release some surveys and some of the I would

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Speaker 1: say common feedback was that sometimes there were too many

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Speaker 1: interviews and that sometimes the local thought I was too heavy.

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Speaker 1: And so it's really that conflict, that internal conflict internal

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Speaker 1: as a team of like there are really intense things

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Speaker 1: going on in the world, and we would be remiss

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Speaker 1: not to discuss them, especially the year that Los Angeles

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Speaker 1: has had. At the same time, this is not a

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Speaker 1: news show. At the same time, there are many listeners

400
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 1: that can get their news from either an actual newspaper

401
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: right whether that be digitally or in print, who can

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Speaker 1: listen to the radio, who can listen to NPR, who

403
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Speaker 1: can watch local news and get their information that way.

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Speaker 1: And actually they want to listen to a podcast to disconnect,

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Speaker 1: to laugh, to feel connected, and it really is finding

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Speaker 1: that balance. And I think that we've tried really hard

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Speaker 1: this year, this season in particular to cover the really

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Speaker 1: important things because they affect our community even and if

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Speaker 1: they don't affect our community, they're really important to the world,

410
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Speaker 1: but also like bringing the laughs right and bringing some levity,

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Speaker 1: so like really challenging times, and I think that's what

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Speaker 1: we did really well in twenty sixteen. Obviously Trump was elected,

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Speaker 1: We covered the Me Too movement, we covered them defense,

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Speaker 1: we covered all kinds of things in the early days

415
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Speaker 1: of lok at Tora, but we still like brought the laughs,

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Speaker 1: and I think that that's what we've really been trying

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Speaker 1: to find again this season.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the podcast is not a research paper,

419
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Speaker 2: but it's also not a diary, and it's more like

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Speaker 2: a memoir.

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Speaker 1: It's an archive.

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Speaker 2: It's an archive. It's an archive, but I think even

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Speaker 2: less formal than an archive. Really, Yes, I think we

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Speaker 2: call it an archive, but I think it's a memoir.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And we joke all the time, like when we're doing

427
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 2: things and experiencing things, Oh, it's for the memoirs or

428
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 2: the memoirs. That is the memoirs.

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Speaker 1: That's our inside joke with each other. Whenever we go

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Speaker 1: through something really challenging or really fun, like we had

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Speaker 1: this for example, if we had a really cool meeting

432
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: with someone, or we had a really great lunch with someone,

433
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: we're like.

434
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 2: Oh, it's for the memoirs, for the memoirs.

435
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 1: We'll talk about it later. We'll tell our grandkids about

436
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 1: it later.

437
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 2: Right.

438
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 1: It's like kind of that energy, right.

439
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: And then our grandkids can say, my grandma was a podcaster.

440
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 2: It's all for that, it's all for the future.

441
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,479
Speaker 1: My grandmother was an archivist.

442
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: My grandmother was an audio archivist. So I think as

443
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 2: we as we wrap up this conversation, it really makes

444
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 2: me think about not only embracing my inner child as

445
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 2: a person, as a human being, but embracing the inner

446
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: child of the show, and loving the inner child of

447
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: the show, and remembering and loving and protecting and nurturing

448
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: the parts of the show that got us to where

449
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 2: we are today. Because if it wasn't for young Us

450
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: and young look at Tora, we wouldn't have the iHeart contract,

451
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 2: we wouldn't be in the studio. Those are the things

452
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,199
Speaker 2: that brought us here, along with a lot of other factors.

453
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 2: You know, it's never just one thing. It's so much.

454
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 2: But I think the inner light and the core and

455
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: the energy goes back to the friendship, goes back to

456
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: us existing in the world as latinas in this day

457
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 2: and age, and how things that are happening around us

458
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: relate back to us and in turn to our audience,

459
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: and how we can look at serious topics and cope

460
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 2: through our comedy and cope through our perspective and analysis

461
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 2: and finding community. And again, we don't have to put

462
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 2: out Nobel Prize winning work, although we would love to

463
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: one day.

464
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 1: I would love to win a pold Surfer podcasting putting

465
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: that out there.

466
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 2: Yes, we would also love a Peabody. Yes, we would

467
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 2: also love a MacArthur Genius Fellowship. Yes, yeah, I do,

468
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 2: Yes we do, Yes we do. And that's the thing too,

469
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 2: is we still are high achieving, but I think there's

470
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 2: a way as artists to do all of it, to

471
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: do all of it. And so yeah, it's like being

472
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: kind to myself, being kind to the show and loving

473
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 2: us all the way around.

474
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I think for me, I echo everything you've

475
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: said and that you said it so beautifully, and I

476
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 1: think for me it's also finding the love and the work. Again.

477
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: I think the last two years we've grown so much,

478
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 1: we've grown the slate that it was really easy to

479
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: focus on being burnt out because I was, and really

480
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: easy to just focus on how challenging the work was

481
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 1: and how there wasn't enough time and how the team

482
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: is so small, and like kind of getting in that

483
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 1: really like almost negative cycle, right, and that loop of

484
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: like this is so hard and this is so much work,

485
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: and yes, I acknowledge that all those things are true.

486
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: This is not like a toxic positivity spin, but like

487
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: it's also so hard. But I'm this is also what

488
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: I wanted. I really wanted to do this full time

489
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: I really wanted to grow multiple shows right and grow

490
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: as Slate, and I did those things and we did

491
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: them and it was really hard, but we did it.

492
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 1: And so that perspective too is like, but this is

493
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,719
Speaker 1: what you asked for, yes, you know, and so that

494
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it goes without its challenges, but also

495
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 1: like really remembering that, like I love this, and I

496
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,239
Speaker 1: think that that is something that I've really tried to

497
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 1: focus on this season, is instead of really giving myself

498
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: like the room to work, but also the room to

499
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,719
Speaker 1: be creative. And I think that the last two years

500
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 1: I was not in the creative headspace. It was just work,

501
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: work and schedule. But like, you can't do this type

502
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 1: of work without the creativity because it then it really

503
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 1: does just feel like work, right, And so I think

504
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 1: that for me, this season has been about like remembering

505
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: why I love this, remembering the creative process, enjoying it,

506
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: and giving myself the room to like make mistakes or

507
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: change my mind or be open to doing things differently,

508
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: open to being on video, like all these things that

509
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: have been challenging, but just embracing the newness and embracing

510
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: the being vulnerable in a new and different way.

511
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, the video has been a big piece of it.

512
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 2: I think that we were kind of like kicking and

513
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: screaming and dragging our feet and sort of like being

514
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: pulled by the hair into video. And it's I agree.

515
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: It's really been about like the mindset about it and

516
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: having a positive attitude and remembering like, oh no, this

517
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 2: is fun. And we did do video in our own

518
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 2: way before I did and had a lot of fun

519
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 2: with it. Yes, you know, if it feels like we're

520
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 2: being forced to do it, it's never going to feel fun.

521
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 1: It's that resistiveness, you know, I think by nature too,

522
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 1: like RACISTO, I'm like, if I have to do something,

523
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,239
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it.

524
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

525
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: But when we were doing it at Espasio with just

526
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: one camera, no lighting, we loved it. We were like,

527
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 1: how fun. We're gonna put it on YouTube.

528
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

529
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: And then this I think pressure right that the podcast

530
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,959
Speaker 1: has to be and this is across the industry, right,

531
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: podcasts have to be on video for the most part

532
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: if it makes sense for you, and I think for

533
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: this show it does make sense, right, and giving it

534
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: that space to also do that too and and hopefully

535
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: find an audience in a new way.

536
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: Well, look, at us, Go us, go team, Go Jackie.

537
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: We did it, Stephanie, Go Stephanie.

538
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: We have a growing team, y'all, and that has definitely

539
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: made this work more enjoyable for me. Jackie, my lifelong

540
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: best friend, has joined the team. We've like talked about

541
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 1: it here and there throughout this last couple of episodes,

542
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 1: but she's joined the team as a creative strategist and

543
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: project manager. Stephanie og listener, audio editor, now producer and

544
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: of course us your host, the founders, the faces, the talent,

545
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: the talent, the beauties of the archivists, the podcasting, Yes,

546
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: the memoirs.

547
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: The memoiris your faves and don't you forget it?

548
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: Well?

549
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: Thank you?

550
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: What is for listening to another episode of Look Radio.

551
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: We'll catch you next time, Bessie. Loka to A Radio

552
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: is executive produced by Viosa Fem and Mala Munios.

553
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: Stephanie Franco is our producer.

554
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: Story editing by Medosa.

555
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: Creative direction by me Mala.

556
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: Lok A Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura

557
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: podcast network.

558
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 2: You can listen to Loka to Radio on the iHeartRadio

559
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 2: app or wherever you get your podcasts.

560
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: Leave us a review and share with your prima or

561
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: share with your homegirl.

562
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: And thank you to our local morees, to our listeners

563
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 2: for tuning in each and every week.

564
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: Besitos Loka